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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22639411">An Anchor in a Sea of Stars</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danypooh80/pseuds/Danypooh80'>Danypooh80</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Team Mage Chronicles [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Explicit Language, F/M, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, Married Couple, Mild Smut, Modern Girl in Thedas, Time Travel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 11:21:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>320,072</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22639411</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danypooh80/pseuds/Danypooh80</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>The time for watching has passed- now, we must take action. </em>
</p><p>The Conclave has been destroyed, but Thedas has a new hope in one of their former heroes- Solana Amell.</p><p>The Hero of Ferelden who died ten years ago stopping the blight is back in Thedas for good. With a glowing mark on her hand and her sister by her side, she must rebuild her life and once again save the world, all while trying to figure out the real price she must pay for her return. </p><p>No longer able to avoid getting involved, Sam has to use her new and old powers to help Lana save the world from new threats and enemies. Sam is now stuck in Thedas and can't get home until her mission is over, but with her sister, new friends, and her husband by her side... will she even want to leave when the time comes?</p><p>Updates on Tuesdays and Saturdays!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alistair/Amell (Dragon Age), Cullen Rutherford/Original Female Character(s), Female Amell/Original Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Team Mage Chronicles [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615699</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>151</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>80</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. When all seems lost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Things are going on in Ferelden; Sam makes a decision</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you're out here as a newbie (welcome!), feel free to check out parts 1 and 2 of <em>The Team Mage Chronicles</em> to get some backstory on these folks!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Cullen was exhausted as he readied his soldiers to protect what remained of the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Seeing as how Divine Justinia had been killed in the explosion at the Conclave, the Commander was getting pretty sick and tired of buildings blowing up around him. It seemed like everywhere he looked, there was chaos- in the aftermath of the explosion, Leliana’s men had found a young woman in the rubble with a strange glowing mark on her hand. They took her to the dungeons for interrogation, but the woman was still unconscious, leaving them with more questions than answers. </p><p>As he tried to keep the dull throbbing in his head from growing into a full-blown ache, Cullen noticed Leliana stalking toward the Chantry. While others only saw the Left Hand of the Divine, the Commander had known Leliana long enough to discern that she was working hard to keep herself together. He knew that Leliana had been extremely close to the Divine, and he could easily see that she was taking her death harder than most. “Care to take a walk with me?” Cullen asked quietly. “I’d like to get an update if I can.”</p><p>She nodded, looking grateful for the distraction for a moment, then letting her mask of emotionlessness slide on again. “Of course, Commander.” Slowly, they walked toward the Chantry and came to a stop outside the building, Haven completely quiet around them for the first time since the chaos had begun. Cullen turned toward the building, then back to the Nightingale. “Can the prisoner tell us what happened yet?"</p><p>“I’m afraid not,” Leliana said. “Solas has managed the mark on her hand while she slept, but she hasn’t awakened yet. Cassandra is watching over her in case she does.”</p><p>“I’d ask why you aren’t in there, but I fear I know that answer,” Cullen said carefully. “We don’t know what happened yet, Leli.”</p><p>Her face hardened. “The Divine is dead, Cullen, and she is alive. While I am usually one to wait for information, it would be too easy to end this with a blade to her throat.” </p><p>“The Divine wouldn’t want that for you,” he replied. “Let Cassandra do her job- as soon as she can be questioned, then you can do yours. I won’t profess to say I know how to do what you do- Maker knows you are positively terrifying sometimes,” he said as she laughed softly, “but you are brilliant at gathering information. If anyone can find out what happened, it is you.”</p><p>“You make me glad I didn’t kill you all those years ago,” she teased. “Speaking of that, have you any luck finding Sam?”</p><p>He shook his head. “Absolute silence, I’m afraid. I’ve sent a letter to her parents- I’ve yet to receive anything yet.”</p><p>“When you find your wife, let me know immediately,” Leliana said tersely. “I need information now more than ever, and I cannot let her indifference cost us any more lives, Cullen.” </p><p>“I will do my best to get her to assist,” he said, careful not to promise anything he wouldn’t be able to deliver. “In the meantime-“</p><p>Before he could say another word, a voice rang out from inside the Chantry. “Guards!” Cassandra yelled. “Seize them!” </p><p>Immediately, Cullen and Leliana looked at each other and ran inside, curious about what could have possibly occurred to cause the Seeker to lose her composure.</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>I’m coming, Lana Banana- I’ll find you, I promise. Just hold on, ok?</em>
</p><p>When I heard Lana’s voice I raced upstairs in a panic, frantically trying to make some sense of what was going on. Since I was only dressed in my underwear and a pair of pajama shorts, I scrambled around my room, looking for clothing. I knew I wanted to find her right away, but considering I didn’t know where she was or where I was going, popping in half-naked was probably not the best idea- like it or not, I had to get ready first. </p><p>While I was yanking a shirt over my head, I heard a soft knock on my door. “Sam, calm down- you can breathe, I promise.” </p><p>Head half-caught in my shirt, I peered in my doorway and saw my mom and dad looking at me. “I can hold things for a little bit while you get dressed,” Mom said as she handed me my hair tie. "I promise, nothing bad is going to happen to her in the next few minutes, Sam.” </p><p>“What about after that?” I asked frantically. “I have to help her, Mom!”</p><p>“You aren’t about to save the world half-dressed, and most heroes I know still wear shoes,” Dad said pointedly, staring at my bare feet. “C’mon, Pipsqueak- take a minute and settle down.” He looked tired as he went into the closet and handed a bag to my mom, who nodded. “You…” he said, swallowing before he turned away from me to sit on the bed. “You be safe out there, kiddo.” </p><p>Finally untangling myself from my shirt, I looked at him strangely as I pulled on my jeans. “What’s going on here?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at the two of them. "You guys don’t care when I leave- why are you both here now?”</p><p>Mom sighed, then sat the unnaturally heavy bag at my feet. “You know why, Sam.” She leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. “It’s time.”</p><p>“Time for what?” I asked, pulling on socks and a pair of sneakers. “Mom, you’re freaking me out a little.”</p><p>“You’re not coming back, Sam,” she said quietly. “This is it- you’re heading out for good this time, kid. That’s why I’m here- I have to send you off.”</p><p>I froze, hands hovering above my shoes. “No fucking way,” I said, shaking my head. “Look, I’m just going to get Lana from wherever she is- I’m not staying. I haven’t made that decision yet- it’s too soon.”</p><p>Mom shook her head sadly. “I’m afraid you have, Sam.” She reached for Dad’s hand, rubbing it gently as she sat next to him on the bed. “That’s the price- this life for hers.” </p><p>“But-“ I said, looking around my room, staring at the contents of my life. “This is my home!” I cried, anxiously running my hands through my hair and sitting on my floor. "What about you guys? What about Grace? I'm supposed to give everything up, just like that? How is that even fair?”</p><p>“No one said it was,” Mom replied. “But just like Grace, when you finish, you’ll be given the chance to come back. It just… won’t be for a minute, that’s all.” She smiled, then got up to kneel next to me, rubbing my shoulders. “I have the utmost confidence in you and Lana- you two are going to do things the world has never seen, Sam.” </p><p>“Is this something you know or is it something you <em>know</em>,” I asked pointedly, crossing my arms around myself. “Seriously, Mom, I can’t do this yet- you know my powers aren’t strong enough!"</p><p>“Nonsense- I’ve trained you well, but now it’s time for you to use what you’ve learned. You’re stronger than you know,” she said with a smile. “Trust me- Lana will help you, but you’re running out of time.” She tilted my face to force me to stare into her eyes, and I swallowed. "I need your decision, Sam.”</p><p>I looked to my Dad, who was sitting on the bed and trying not to cry. “Dad-“</p><p>“Not my choice, Pipsqueak,” he said as he got up and came over to me. “But at least I know you’ll be safe. Looks like that idiot husband of yours is finally going to get the chance to put his money where his mouth is.” He chuckled to himself, then kissed me on the forehead. “Write to us, ok? I’ve gotten used to seeing that crazy-looking bird- he’s taken to eating hot dogs when I grill outside."</p><p>“You guys are acting like I already chose,” I said softly, hugging them. “I haven’t decided anything yet.”</p><p>“You decided the moment you heard her call out for you,” Mom said, then she pointed to the bag at my feet. “Listen to your sister and read your journal this time,” she said pointedly. “And don’t destroy or get rid of anything in this bag until you talk to Lana, understand?” She smiled. “And take your coat- it’s cold out there."</p><p>“Thought I wasn’t supposed to wear my stuff?” I said as I put on the puffy coat and looped my arms in the straps of the bag. “What happened to the keep a low profile rule?”</p><p>“Trust me,” Mom said as she checked me over one last time. “No matter what you do, there’s not a shot in hell of that happening anytime soon.” Satisfied with whatever she found, she looked at Dad and nodded. “You ready, Sam?"</p><p>“No,” I replied, tears rolling down my cheeks. “But if it means saving her, then I’m gonna do whatever I have to.” Taking a deep breath, I wiped my face and closed my eyes. “I’m ready- beam me up, Scotty.”</p><p>Mom snorted and Dad let out a small laugh. “That’s my girl,” he said as he gave me one last hug. “You go out there and show them what you got. Winchesters don’t leave family behind- we never have and we never will… understand?”</p><p>“Understand,” I said softly. “Love you, Dad… Love you, Mom.” </p><p>“We love you too, Sam- keep your sister safe, ok?” She kissed my forehead and smiled, giving me one last hug and stroked my hair. “No matter what, you’re always going to be my baby girl- remember that."</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>When Lana opened her eyes, the entire world had paused all around her. The woman who’d been yelling at her had stilled, and the very air had gone quiet. While she was surprised, she was grateful for the reprieve from the constant onslaught of noise and pain that had been assaulting her ever since she woke up, and she looked around, only to find green eyes that were wide with joy and shock staring at her before two arms enveloped her in a crushing hug. </p><p>“Lana Banana,” Sam whispered, tears glistening in her eyes. “I found you… you’re here!” She clutched her tightly, then frowned, noticing the green mark and the shackles around her wrists. “Um… did you get into bondage since we last saw you? What’s with the green sparks and the chains? And WTF happened to your eyes?”</p><p>“Lots of questions,” she replied, voice raspy with disuse. “I’m afraid I only have an answer to one of those questions, however.” She pointed to her eyes. “Solana Amell Roberts, at your service.” </p><p>Sam’s eyes went wide. “<em>Mom</em> did this?” </p><p>Lana nodded, trying to recall more, but she was finding it difficult. There was a blinding pain in her head whenever she tried to think about what took place after she left the house and right before waking up in this cell. “That much I remember- everything else is a blur,” she replied, shaking her head. “My mouth feels like I’ve been eating sand,” she muttered. “I will miss the food of your world… and coffee.”</p><p>“Looks like I will too,” Sam remarked sadly. “Who’s got two thumbs and stuck here for life?” She pointed to herself with a sad little smile. “This girl. Whee,” she said, twirling her finger listlessly. </p><p>Lana stared at her in shock. “Why?” </p><p>“My price,” Sam said, gesturing to the backpack at her feet. “Whatever is in this bag is my last connection to my home. Too bad it doesn’t come with refills, though.”</p><p>“Actually…” Lana said thoughtfully, “I think it just might.” She reached inside and to Sam’s horror, opened a can and dumped the entire contents in her mouth. “Thank the Maker you still carry that energy drink with you everywhere- I was dying for caffeine.” </p><p>Sam stared at her, her expression bordering on rage and horror. “You do realize that I’m stuck in the goddamn Middle Ages and you just chugged my only can of Red Bull that I try to save <em>in case I’m going to die</em>? Not only that, what the hell do you know about caffeine, Lana? What the fuck is going on with you?”</p><p>“I was talking with your mom, and I think she showed me something on purpose, Sam. Not to mention, I was thirsty and exhausted- I figured I could accomplish two goals with one stone.”</p><p>“It’s killing two birds with one stone, and I’m remembering why I almost always followed up a sentence with ‘I hate you’, Lana Banana,” Sam retorted, shoving the girl. “None of this helps with the fact that I’m stuck without my liquid first-aid kit, you thirsty ass bitch.”</p><p>“Language, Sam,” Lana smiled. “If I’m not mistaken, this power that has been slowly murdering me since I woke up in this damnable place has receded ever since you paused time, not to mention the fact that you don’t look like you’re about to pass out in front of me. Even with you holding the time at bay this long, I daresay you look downright sprightly, sister- it looks as if you’re draining my excess power, for which I am incredibly grateful.”</p><p>Sam pointed and started to say something, but then paused, thinking about it for a moment, then settling back, looking thoughtful. “Holy shit, you’re right- I hadn’t even noticed time was paused.” Then she frowned. “While this is pretty cool and lets me know I can recharge my ring, it still doesn’t bring back my stuff.” </p><p>“Well,” Lana continued, “When your mom was talking to me and Ali -“</p><p>“Wait,” Sam interrupted, "you talked with Ali? And not me? When was this?”</p><p>“How do you think I got my locket back to talk with you? Now hush up and focus, Sam!” Lana chided, smacking her sister’s hand. “As I was saying, when she talked to Ali and me, she offered us lemonade.”</p><p>“Congratulations,” Sam said dryly. “You experienced hospitality. I’m so happy for you.”</p><p>“Shut up for once, you damnable girl!” Lana said exasperatedly. “There is a point!”</p><p>“That seems to be all the way back in New Jersey,” Sam retorted. “I wish you’d fucking get to it!” </p><p>Lana started to frown, then smiled, shaking her head. “Maker, I’ve missed you, Sam,” she said with a smile. “No one else irritates me the way you do.”</p><p>“That’s because no one else loves you like I do,” Sam replied, hugging her. “Now tell me why I shouldn’t smite you for drinking my shit, Lana.”</p><p>“One, because you can’t, and two, I think you can rewind things to a previous state, Sam.” When Sam’s eyes widened, Lana nodded. “That’s what I was trying to tell you- she did that in front of me and Ali. There was no reason for her to do it because the pitcher was right next to her! I think she showed me that trick on purpose, Sam.”</p><p>“So… you think I can bring that can back to how it used to be?” Sam bit her lip. “That shit is gonna suck- manipulating time usually hurts like hell, Lana.”</p><p>“No time like the present to experiment,” Lana said with a shrug. “I’d rather try it and see if it gives us options, and me more things to eat, if I’m to be honest.” </p><p>“Why does that not surprise me?” Sam said wryly, then taking a deep breath. “Okay… what do I need to do?”</p><p>Lana thought about it for a moment, trying to remember. “Well, she put her hand over it, and then it refilled. That’s all I saw- is there more you need to do?”</p><p>“Yeah, but that much I know,” she said, closing her eyes. “Well, here goes nothing.” She opened one eye and glared at Lana. “You know, if this doesn’t work, you get to be the first person in Thedas to learn to create a Red Bull, Lana.”</p><p>“Focus, Sam!” </p><p>“All right, calm down- sheesh!” She closed her eyes again and after a few moments, she let out a gasp as Lana watched the can reset to its original state in her hand. “Holy shit,” she whispered. “I did it."</p><p>“I knew you could!” Lana said happily. “Now that we know you can reset it, can I have it?”</p><p>“No.” </p><p>“Well it was worth a try,” Lana said with a shrug. “But, I do seem to remember something about you being able to pick locks- would it be possible for you assist with this new jewelry I seem to be wearing?”</p><p>“Of course,” Sam said with a smirk. “Locks out here are pieces of shit- I’ll be happy to crack that puppy if you don’t mind telling me why you look like you’re about to hit the club?” She pulled out a pin from her hair and started working on the lock. “And why does that look like my shirt?”</p><p>“Because it is,” Lana said simply, not wanting to explain as she scanned the room for her outerwear, noticing it on the other side of the cell. “And now that I’ve been introduced to the wonders of that monstrosity of a coat, I’d be quite happy for you to get me out of these chains so I can leave this cell and get into it... if you please.”</p><p>“But why are you even in here?” Sam asked, freeing her arms and working on her legs. “I know it’s been ten years, but-“</p><p>“<em>Ten years!</em>” Lana squawked. “I’ve been gone for ten years? Ali wasn’t joking?” </p><p>Sam shook her head, “‘Fraid not, Lana Banana. A lot has changed since you left, but I didn’t think they’d lock up the Hero of Ferelden.” She popped the last lock, and Lana stretched for what felt like the first time in days, crossing the room to get her coat. “Now that you’re free and warm, got any ideas on how we get the hell out of here? I can’t just pop home anymore, so…”</p><p>“And the locks are on the other side,” Lana muttered. “Bloody hell.” She stared at the frozen and angry-looking woman standing outside her cell. “Well, it looks like we have to get them to let us out, then. Bomb-dot-com as soon as she opens the door?”</p><p>Suddenly, Sam blanched, grabbing Lana’s shoulder for support. “<em>NO</em>,” she hissed. “Dear God, for the love of everything, do NOT say that in front of anyone right now, understand? Someone blew up something out here, and they think you did it. The moment you say that your thread goes dark, Lana!”</p><p>“Good to know,” she mused, then frowned. “Wait, they think I did it?”</p><p>“Explains the cell,” Sam said with a shrug. “And you are the one with the glowy thing on your hand- two plus two and all.”</p><p>“Well that sucks,” she said, making Sam laugh. “Sounds like we have an interesting situation to work through here.”</p><p>“How much of my language did you pick up out there?” Sam smirked. “And yeah. Guess we gotta have a chat with the angry lady.” Sam grabbed her bag, slinging it back on her shoulders. "But if Captain Angrypants comes at either of us with something pointy, we’re making a run for it as soon as that door opens, got it? This whole world can just go to hell and we’re gonna get a cabin by the lake and be two weird old biddies… does that sound good to you?” </p><p>“Sounds like a plan,” Lana agreed, grabbing Sam’s hand as they stood at the back of the cell and taking a deep breath. “Ready when you are, Sam."</p><p>Sam looked at her, then nodded, blowing out a careful deep breath. “Here goes nothing, Lana Banana."</p><p>And just as Lana suspected, when time restarted all hell broke loose. <em>Chaos and madness at every turn,</em> Lana thought. <em>It must be Thursday.</em></p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Cullen raced inside the Chantry dungeon and stumbled to a halt at the sight in front of him, almost causing Leliana to crash into him. “Sam?” </p><p>The girl who was standing in front of the prisoner raised her head, then tossed him a beautiful smile. “Hey, hon- didn’t know you’d be here. How’s it going?”</p><p>He felt his brain short-circuit at her nonchalant greeting, acting as if she weren’t standing between the person who might have destroyed the Conclave and the Seeker who wanted the prisoner. “Samantha,” he said carefully, approaching the women and coming to a stop to the right of Cassandra. “I need you to get away from her… now.”</p><p>Cassandra turned to look at him incredulously. “Commander, you know this woman? How did she get into the cell without me seeing her? I was just standing here and she-” </p><p><em>That’s why it was so quiet</em>, Cullen thought, then sighed. “Clear your men from the room and we can get this cleared up,” he said carefully, watching as the Seeker vacillated between wanting to question him more and wanting answers. Finally, she dismissed her guards from the room and turned to glare at him. “Thank you,” he said, then turned toward his wife. “Sam, can you explain to me why not only you’re in the cell with the woman who may have murdered the Divine, but you’ve released her? What possible reason could you, the woman who consistently says she doesn’t want to be involved in our affairs, have to put yourself in such a foolish situation?”</p><p>Sam looked at him with a grin that took him aback. “Because it’s my sister,” she said simply. “It’s Lana, Cullen.”</p><p>From behind him, he heard a gasp as Leliana moved out of the shadows, staring at the women. “That’s not possible,” she said quietly, disbelief written over her face. “Lana is dead. We watched her die, Samantha. This woman… I do not know who she is, but it is <em>not</em> her.” Her face hardened and her voice took on a sharp tone, broadcasting her intentions. "Step away from her... right now.”</p><p>“Leli, I love you, but you can fuck right the fuck off,” Sam said cheerfully. “It’s my sister.” She looked at the girl and paused, almost as if she was having one of those wordless conversations she used to have with the mage, then they pulled matching lockets out of their shirts. “Team Mage for life, remember?”</p><p>He looked over at Leliana, who looked the way he imagined he must look. “Get them out of there,” he croaked. “Get them out right now.”</p><p>Cassandra growled. “This still does not tell me who they are, Commander. This woman is a prisoner, wanted for her part-“</p><p>“She didn’t do it,” Leliana said quietly, moving to the left of the Seeker. “The woman in front is Samantha Rutherford, wife of the Commander.” </p><p>Wide-eyed, the Seeker turned to him. “Is this true, Commander?” </p><p>He smiled, but before he could say a word, Sam piped up. “Has been for ten years, though I suspect he treats it like a matter of national security.” She held up a hand, showing her wedding band, and he smirked as he held up his own. Her mouth dropped in surprise, then a hand went to her hip. “About time, Rutherford- thought you were ashamed of me or something.”</p><p>“Never,” he said honestly. “A lot has changed, as you may have suspected.” He cleared his throat. “And is that…” </p><p>“It is, Ser Cullen,” the voice said softly. “Hello, dear friend- it’s been a very long time.”</p><p>Cassandra looked back and forth at all the people in the room, appearing to debate her next move. “So, if that is your wife,” she said, shaking her head in disbelief, “Then who is this?"</p><p>Leliana‘s mouth dropped open, staring at the woman behind Sam as she took off her hood, revealing a shock of red hair and bright green eyes that mirrored the ones on the tiny girl in front of her. When he looked over at the spymaster, Cullen knew that Leliana could tell that everything that Sam had said was true- slowly, she moved forward to embrace her old friend. </p><p>“And the woman with the mark is an old friend I long thought dead.” Leliana stared at the girl no one had seen in a decade, who was now standing in front of them and looking just as she did the day she gave her life for them. “Cassandra, meet Solana Amell... otherwise known as the Hero of Ferelden.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Welcome back to this sprawling journey- looking forward to seeing you all as Team Mage tackles the Inquisition! </p><p>Settle in folks- we got a nice ride on the way!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A Happy-ish Reunion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sam and Lana show everyone why you call Team Mage when Thedas starts imploding</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
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<hr/><p>“So,” I said as soon as I was sure Leli wasn’t going to stab Lana, “what the hell is going on over here? Why did I have to stage a prison break for my sister?”</p><p>“You wouldn’t have had to resort to it if you’d simply talked to me,” Cullen said, his tone slightly tense. “I could’ve helped, Sam.” </p><p>“Well, how was I to know you were here? You didn’t tell me that this was going on!” I yelled, walking over and poking him in the chest. “I only found out because my sister called out to me! She was chained to the damn floor and scared out of her mind- what the hell, Leli!” </p><p> “I… didn’t see her as she was brought in,” Leliana admitted, still holding Lana’s hand. “With the death of Divine Justinia, I was not in a state to view the prisoner right away.” </p><p>“Translation- she was going to fuck your shit up on sight, Lana Banana,” I said, crossing my arms. </p><p>“I gathered, Sam,” Lana replied, shaking her head. “But none of this explains this mark on my hand- can someone tell me what is going on? I certainly didn’t murder anyone, but I admit, my memory is spotty.” </p><p><em>I don’t know Angry Lady</em>, I warned, wrapping an arm around Cullen’s waist to support myself- with her unfrozen, the new woman was starting to make my head hurt. <em>Let’s not tell her about Mom just yet, ok? </em></p><p><em>Fair enough</em>, Lana replied. <em>Is she important? You look pale. </em></p><p><em>Very</em>, I said. <em>I’d touch her, but I think she may stab me. </em></p><p>“Cullen,” Lana started to say as the angry lady glared at her. “Who is our friend here? She seems to be important,” she said, glancing at me. </p><p>“Oh,” he said, getting the hint. “Sam, this is Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast, Right Hand of the Divine. Cassandra, this is my wife, Samantha Rutherford.”</p><p>“We’ve established this,” Cassandra said warily as I extended my hand, desperate to touch the woman and ease some of the pressure in my head. Finally, she took my hand, and I let out a visible sigh of relief. “Hello,” she said, looking at me strangely. “Are you all right?” </p><p>“Better now,” I replied honestly. “You have no idea.” </p><p>“While these introductions and reunions are wonderful,” Cassandra said, “there is still the matter of her mark and the breach to attend to.” </p><p>Lana and I looked at each other, confused. “What’s a breach?” I asked, staring at Cullen and Leliana. Whatever it was had to be big, as everyone looked nervous at the mere mention of it. </p><p>Cassandra sighed. “It will be better if I show you,” she said wearily. “Follow me.”</p><p>As we walked outside, I noticed the sky for the first time. There was a slice in it, pulsating with the same sickening green light that coursed through Lana’s hand, and the air crackled with energy. Horrified, I turned to look at everyone- this was decidedly not normal. “I’ve been gone for a month!” I exclaimed, getting ready to launch into a tirade about how Thedas was always breaking itself. Just as I opened my mouth, Lana’s arm flared up with the energy, causing her to scream out and fall to her knees. “Lana!” I screamed, running over to her, which in retrospect, probably was not the best of ideas. </p><p>The moment I connected with her, a searing pain shot up my arm from where I touched her- it was like holding a live wire.  While I was screaming, she began to calm down- the excess energy was flowing from her to me, storing itself in my ring. When it finished, I gasped. “Holy shit- that’s a fuckton of power.”</p><p>Cassandra nodded, and two scouts came up, handing notes to Cullen and Leliana. As they read, their bodies went stiff, processing what had to be bad news. When she finished reading, Leliana gave a curt nod, then turned to Cassandra. “Meet Chancellor Roderick and I at the forward camp, both of you.” </p><p>“Do you want us to come with you?” I asked. “Is there anything I can do?”</p><p>“You’ve done nothing for this long,” Leliana said curtly, glaring at me. “I’m sure I can make due on my own.” Crumpling the note, she walked off without another word, her face angry. </p><p>Seeing my friend stalk off, I felt my face flush. “I… there’s nothing I could see… there’s nothing I could do, I promise…”</p><p>“Sam,” Cullen said, putting his hands on my shoulders, “let her be. A lot has happened since you’ve been gone- she’s been looking for guidance.” He shook his head, staring in the direction she went off into. “Not having you or Lana here… it’s been difficult. She thinks if she’d known, she could have done more.” </p><p>“But that’s just it,” I said helplessly, throwing up my hands. “There’s been nothing I saw that anyone could change- that’s the only reason I left. There were no choices to be made that could change the outcomes of things!” <br/>
 <br/>
“I know,” he said, kissing my forehead. “And I’m sure deep down, she does too. But right now, I have to go,” Cullen said. There is fighting in the valley below that requires my attention.” Hastily, I checked the threads and he smiled, realizing what I was doing. “Find anything?”</p><p>I shook my head. “No, but-“</p><p>“Then I must leave,” he said softly. “My duty calls, and so does yours, Lady Rutherford.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Varric had been battling demons with the bald elf for what felt like an eternity. </p><p>“I could’ve been in Kirkwall,” he said as he shot a shade. “Sitting in the Hanged Man, cozying up with a nice glass of ale,” he groused as he shot a wisp that was attacking a nearby soldier. “But no, I had to be in Ferelden, trying to help. A fat lot of good that’s doing me right now.”</p><p>The elf said nothing, just continued to work to take down the creatures spawning from the rift. <em>He’s a regular bucket of laughs,</em> Varric thought. <em>Just my luck to get stuck on this snow-covered rock with the conversationalist of the year.</em></p><p>Just as he was about to start writing his own eulogy, complete with a verse that said ‘fuck the mages, fuck the Templars, fuck this country, I'm out’, he felt electricity crackle in the air and watched in shock as every single demon in the area blew up in front of his eyes. Turning around to look at the carnage, he looked at the elf. “Did you do that? And if so, why the hell didn’t you do it hours ago?”</p><p>“I’m afraid that I didn’t- it would appear that our saviors are coming now,” the elf said in that even tone that made Varric want to punch him in the face. “It appears our friend has woken up.” He paused, then sounded surprised. “And there is another girl with her- curious.”</p><p>Varric didn’t know the elf was even capable of sounding surprised, but he certainly was when he noticed who was with the prisoner. “Sparrow?”</p><p>“Varric!” Sam cried, running over and throwing her arms around him. “Holy shit, what are you doing here?” </p><p>“Playing hero, apparently,” he said, then watched as the elf grabbed the other girl’s hand and thrust it at the rift, forcing it to close. “And not doing that.” He gestured to the girl, who was watching her hand as if she expected snakes to jump from it at any moment. “What the hell did you two do?”</p><p>Sam smirked. “We kinda have a combo move, but in light of the present situation and the way that people are already on edge, it’s probably for the best if we don’t use its proper name for a minute,” she replied with a smile. “But it’s nice to know it still works. Also nice to know that I won’t pass out after doing it anymore as long as she’s got that freaky mark on her hand.” Sam gestured to the elf. “Who’s the hobo?” </p><p>“Solas. He kept the mark from killing the girl while she slept. Speaking of which,” he looked over at the redheaded girl who was chatting with the elf, “who’s your new partner in crime?”</p><p>“My sister,” Sam said proudly. “Kinda weird, since she was dead and all, but hey, my family is strange like that.”</p><p>Varric’s jaw dropped. “<em>That’s</em> Hawke’s cousin? She’s the Hero of Ferelden?” </p><p>A throat cleared behind them, and the two turned around, looking equally as sheepish. Not willing to face the conversation he knew the Seeker was going to have with him about how he knew the girl, he turned to the hero instead. “Varric Tethras, at your service,” he said, ignoring the Seeker for the moment.</p><p>She chuckled. “Solana Amell- it's a pleasure to meet you.” She gestured to the two of them, then put her hands in her pocket, the glow shining through the puffy fabric. "I see you know my sister, Mr. Tethras. I imagine it’s nice to see a familiar face out here.”</p><p>He chuckled. “Yeah, Sparrow, Curly and I go way back.” Varric glanced over at the Seeker, who looked mad enough to spit. “But I think we need to get to the forward camp- that’s where we were headed before we ended up ass-deep in demons.” He gestured to Solas. “I see you met Chuckles over here- Barrel of laughs, that one.” </p><p>“He seems friendly enough,” she said with a laugh as they set out toward the camp. “And I’m not dead because of him, so I’ll give him a mark in the plus column.”</p><p>“To you, at least- me, he said something under his breath and looked at me like I was a three-headed goat when I answered it.” Sam shrugged. “Oh well- at least I have you two,” she said as she draped her arms over them and grinned like a madwoman as they started walking toward the camp.</p><p>Grateful for the save from the Seeker, Varric laughed. “Right you are, Sparrow,” he replied, patting her hand. “But now that you’re here, looks like the fun is about to begin.” </p><p>“To quote Grace, I’m a goddamn delight,” Sam said with a laugh. “And you wouldn’t have it any other way, storyteller.”</p><p>“Damn straight, Sparrow.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p><em>This man is an asshat,</em> Sam said in Lana’s head.<em> I’m rooting for Captain AngryPants to punch him. Hell, he’s got one more time to say something out of pocket and <span class="u">I’m</span> gonna punch him myself. </em></p><p><em>Still threatening people, I see,</em> Lana thought wryly. <em>Nice to see some things don’t change</em>. She looked over at Haven, noticing the difference in the town since she had visited to save Sam and Arl Eamon. <em>Also, I am going to be sorely disappointed when I have to go back to Ferelden clothing- these coats are wonderful. </em></p><p><em>Same, Lana… same. This is going to be… an experience,</em> Sam thought sadly. <em>And it’s my life now. Bye warm showers, bye food that I didn’t have to murder… So long cushy beds and central heating… So long flushing toilets- I think I’ll miss those most of all.</em></p><p><em>Could you not bemoan the state of our existence right now</em>? Lana hissed, realizing that the conversation had paused and the others were staring at them, waiting for an answer of sorts. <em>Uh oh, I think we may have missed something important.</em></p><p>“I’m sorry the state of the world isn’t as important as your conversation,” Leliana said with irritation, "but we need your sister right now. Or is this information you can't see, either?”</p><p>Lana noticed Sam visibly wince, but the blowhard started screeching again. “And why do we care what she thinks at all? Who even is she?”</p><p>“She’s a seer,” Leliana lied smoothly, watching Sam’s face. <em>That's an interesting maneuver,</em> Lana thought. <em>Sam can’t refute her in front of him, and she has to have a purpose to be here. And one supposes she is a seer… of sorts</em>. Lana smiled at the memory of Ali calling her a crappy fortune-teller, and she felt her heart sink- he was the one person other than Sam that she wanted to see more than anyone else- she’d have to ask Sam if she could find him when they had a moment. “So, Lady Samantha, what happens if we take the mountain pass or charge forward with the soldiers?” </p><p>Sam sighed. “I can only see one at a time, Leli- you know that.” </p><p>“I have forgotten,” she said snidely. “It’s been so long since we’ve been graced by one of your visions, I’m afraid.” </p><p>Sam’s face looked positively murderous, and Lana could feel her preparing to stop time, so she put a hand on her shoulder. <em>Let it go, Sam- her team has been lost up there for three days now. She’s beating herself up and taking it out on you. </em></p><p><em>She needs to back the fuck up, Lana- I’m not eighteen anymore, and I will politely fuck her all the way up if she talks to me like that one more time</em>. Sam growled.<em> I love her, but I am not her goddamn punching bag- John taught me how to stab people properly, Lana Banana… I will fuck her day up, I promise you. Well, long as I stop time first and run really fast when I finish, that is.</em></p><p>Lana let out a loud laugh, then covered her mouth, very aware that everyone was staring at them. Trying to regain some composure, she turned to her sister. “Sam, what if I choose to go through the mountain pass?” </p><p>Sam smiled, then took a deep breath and closed her eyes. After a moment, she opened them and smiled sheepishly at Leliana. “There are scouts still alive up there.” Leliana looked at her, eyes widening before her expression settled back to neutral. "If you still have healing magic, you can save them.”</p><p>“I can assist with that,” Solas said, speaking for the first time since they met the Chancellor. “I am happy to assist, Solana.” </p><p>“But what of the soldiers,” Cassandra blurted out, forgetting she was mad at the two of them for the moment. “What happens if we work with them to reach the temple?”</p><p>Sam closed her eyes again. “We make it to the temple,” she replied confidently. “Both paths save lives.” She swallowed carefully, looking at Lana. “I  have an idea,” she said cautiously. “What about if we split up-“ </p><p>“No,” Lana said firmly. “We stick together, Sam- end of discussion.”</p><p>“Kinda inclined to agree,”  Varric said, looking back and forth between the sisters. “Especially if it means you can do that kill-everything-that-moves thing again, having you both together seems pretty helpful.”</p><p>Leliana let out a small smile. “I see you still are able to do nug roasts, yes?” </p><p>Sam let out a laugh and smiled at the woman- hopefully, some of the ire between them would be tempered soon. “Yep. That trick seems to work just fine. But… I think we can split up. I can go with the soldiers- you guys go save Leli’s men.” </p><p>"But there are rifts,” Lana said carefully. “What happens if you encounter one? You can’t close them, Sam.”</p><p>The chancellor was agape. “Why are we even having this conversation? This prisoner shouldn’t even be talking! She-“</p><p>“Shut the fuck up,” Sam said mildly, freezing him mid-sentence. His mouth was open and little bits of spittle were frozen as they flew from his mouth. “Hey, Varric, can you help me for a second?”</p><p>“Sure,” he said. “Whatcha need, Sparrow?” </p><p>“Help me move him just a bit,” Sam said with a wry smile. "I want him to spit in his own face for once.” </p><p>Solas said nothing- he just watched with interest as Leliana had to cover her mouth to stifle her laughter and the corners of Cassandra’s mouth twitched as Sam and Varric worked to shift the Chancellor into the path of his own liquid projectiles. “Are you sure this is the best use of your powers right now, Sam?” Lana asked, trying not to laugh.</p><p>“Yes,” Sam replied seriously. “It most certainly is. Plus, it gives us the chance to decide our move without getting an impromptu bath from him.” Satisfied with his new spot, she grinned and turned to Lana. “So, like I was saying-“</p><p>Lana frowned. “The answer is still no, Sam. These things spawn demons- you can’t close them.”</p><p>“All the more reason for someone to go with the soldiers,” Sam said. “I can freeze them long enough to get the troops through and meet you at the temple. You said it yourself- I can hold time a lot longer here, and that should allow the troops enough time to get through without the fighting. And as you can see from Sergeant Spittle over here, I can do it selectively now- I didn’t train all year for nothing, you know.” <em>Let me do this</em>, she said silently. <em>Cullen is down there, Lana.</em></p><p>Lana’s face fell, then nodded- if it was Ali, she’d be doing the same thing. “All right- you go and assist the soldiers- do not fight, Sam,” she warned. “Just hold them off till we get down to the temple- if I can close the big one, it should theoretically close the smaller one, right?” She turned to look to the elf, hoping she wasn’t dooming all these people. “Solas, what do you think?”</p><p>He nodded. “Theoretically, your plan is sound. As it hasn’t been done before, I cannot say. But before we go, do you think your sister should release this man?” He gestured to the Chancellor. “I think she may want to save her mana for more… important things.”</p><p>“Oh yeah, I forgot,” Sam said. “It really is a lot easier to hold time here.” She looked at Lana, then hugged her. “Go save those scouts, Lana Banana.”</p><p>“You do the same, idiot,” Lana said with a smile. “Don’t die- only one resurrection per household, remember?” </p><p>Sam laughed as she prepared to head toward the mountain pass, releasing Roderick and chuckling as he began to splutter from the droplets on his face. “See you in the temple, guys.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Cullen wasn’t feeling too optimistic about their chances of getting these soldiers out of the mountain pass and to the temple.  They were too new and inexperienced for this kind of thing- they were used to fighting bandits, not demons. As painful as the experience was, he was secretly grateful for the battles he’d fought with Lana and Hawke- like it or not, they’d prepared him for situations like these. He turned, brandishing his sword and saving a recruit from a wraith that had sprung up behind him, but he couldn’t be everywhere at once- no matter what he did, he was going to lose a lot of men today if Lana and Sam didn’t come in to help. And as much as his muscles were aching, he couldn’t afford to stop- a terror had escaped from the rift, and he exhaled, taking a moment to steady himself before he charged. </p><p>Just as the creature began to shriek, the noise died on the air and the world went silent. All around him, his men were looking around, confused as to why all the creatures had suddenly frozen and stopped attacking them. </p><p><em>Oh no</em>, he thought. <em>She didn’t…</em></p><p>He turned toward the gate to see Sam, trying to look calm as sweat pooled on her brow as her hands stretched in front of her, the ring on her hand pulsating with that same sickly green light from the rift in front of them. “Sam!” Cullen yelled. “What in the Maker are you doing?”</p><p>“Saving your ass, it seems,” she wheezed. “Get your men out of here- collect any who can’t walk and get them to the temple- I can’t close the rift, but I can pause it long enough to get you guys out of here! I can freeze them until Lana gets here, but I need the people out of here first!”</p><p>As much as he wanted to argue with her, he couldn’t- the men were woefully unprepared, and they needed to regroup. But he noticed the sweat starting to run down her head, and he realized that they were running out of time. “Get to the temple!” Cullen yelled to his men. “Carry anyone you find that’s injured, but get out of here, now!” Then he turned to his wife. “Come on- I’ve got you.”</p><p>“No,” she said through gritted teeth. “You get your men out- I’ve got this.” He looked at her, the effort clearly written on her face. Noticing his concern, she glared at him. “You fuckers are making this harder,” she growled. “ You're in the way! I’m picking and choosing what to freeze- that’s why I told you to get out!!</p><p><em>Oh</em>, he thought, thoroughly chastised but understanding her plan. “Everyone, move out, now!” He picked up a soldier who was bleeding nearby, injured but very much alive. “To the temple, quickly.” He looked at her, not daring to speak aloud. <em>Be safe, love.</em></p><p><em>Don’t worry- once you guys are out, I can breathe</em>, she replied. <em>I just don’t want any friendlies frozen, and anyone who I don’t have a token for is fair game. Lana and I are going to destroy every demon nearby- I’m just holding them till they come down here.</em></p><p>He began running with the soldier, racing toward the temple. When a man came running through with no one in his arms, he passed off the injured soldier, then ran back for his wife- there was no way he was leaving her in that pass. </p><p>Running back and ushering men out of the zone of the rift, he raced toward her. When she spotted the last soldier run past, he saw her close her eyes… </p><p>…and the pass exploded in a haze of green light so bright he had to shield his eyes. </p><p><em>How much power does she actually have? </em>Cullen wondered. <em>Is the breach doing this to her? </em></p><p>He looked up in awe as the demons began to disintegrate in front of his very eyes- she was rewinding them out of existence. She was wavering on her feet, but her eyes were determined- she wasn’t going to stop. </p><p>“Sam!” Cullen yelled as he ran, hoping to grab her attention. “Just freeze the rift!” </p><p>She nodded and he reached her, scooping her in his arms as she slumped forward. “It’s ok… I got you,” he said quietly. “Let’s get you to the temple.” He looked up at the rift and the half-visible forms of the demons, then turned to Sam. “We have to get you out of here.” He looked at her ring, which had gone black- she had used up everything she had and was now running on reserves. “Do you have anything in your bag, Sam?”</p><p>“Ugh,” she said, looking dazed. “I could’ve finished-“ </p><p>“No, you couldn’t,” he said firmly. “And answer the question- do you have anything in your bag?”</p><p>“Yeah, I have a Red Bull and a soda in there,” she said wearily. “Seriously, go deal with your team, Cullen. I’ll be fine.”</p><p>He rolled his eyes as he went into her backpack. “You just got my remaining team out of here and you’re wobbling on your feet after saving us all, so like it or not, I’m getting you your potion, you damnable woman. So instead of fighting me, just settle down and drink the damn beverage before you pass out.” </p><p>“No preferential treatment,” she said, taking the soda and trying to walk towards the exit, but he stood in front of her, arms crossed- he wasn’t moving till the drank the beverage. Glaring at him, she opened the can, drinking the entire thing in one go, then closed her eyes, wrapping her hand around the can. After a moment, she gave it back to him and he almost dropped the suddenly full can. “Put this back in my bag and let’s get the hell over to the temple- Lana should be arriving soon.” </p><p>“We need to talk,” he said firmly, guiding her out toward the temple. “It seems there is a lot you might want to tell me, Sam.”</p><p>“Sure is,” she replied, leaning on him as she walked. “But for now we gotta get to Lana- there’s a big ass rift to close.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Lana was unsure what was going to happen when she got to the temple, but her spirits brightened when she saw Sam and Cullen at the entrance to the temple. “Sam! Thank the Maker you’re ok!” </p><p>“Define okay,” Cullen said dryly. “My wife had the brilliant idea to try and rewind a rift.”</p><p>“Spoiler- it didn’t work,” Sam said weakly, grabbing a can of soda out of her bag. “There’s a bunch of really interesting frozen demons outside, however. Won’t want to be around when those unfreeze, that’s for damn sure.”</p><p>“I knew I shouldn’t have let you go off your own,” Lana said with a sigh, looking her over- Sam looked like death, but she was upright, which was more than she could say for previous sessions when she’d expended that much power. “Are you ok?”</p><p>“Stop worrying about me,” Sam snapped. “Did you save the scouts up there?”</p><p>Lana frowned but ignored the slight for the moment. “Yes- we did. Are the soldiers okay?”</p><p>Cullen gave her a nod. “Sam saved them- we got as many as we could out and were even able to treat some of the wounded.” He looked down at the pulsating green light that was coming from the ruined courtyard. “But I think you need to find a way to close that rift- Sam said if you do that, the others in the area should go too?”</p><p>“That’s the idea,” Lana replied. “No idea if it will work, but it’s the best plan we got.” She looked over at Sam, placing a hand on her shoulder. “You ready?”</p><p>“Yep,” Sam said. “Let’s get this shit over and done with.” She smiled at Lana as they headed inside. “Gotta say, it’s a lot fucking easier doing things with you, Lana Banana.” </p><p>“Duh,” Lana said with a smile. “That’s because as you stated earlier… ‘I’m a goddamn delight’.”</p><p>Sam let out a laugh. “That you are, Lana… that you are.”</p><p>—<br/>
“You were here!” Cassandra said as they stood near the rift. “Most Holy called out to you! What happened? What do you remember?”</p><p>Lana shook her head in frustration. “I heard it, just as you did, but I have no idea. Everything is just… gone! I’d tell you if I could, but I cannot remember- I’m sorry!”</p><p>The Seeker turned to Sam, who still looked exhausted- being around Cassandra and Solas was draining her. “You! You can see things- tell us what happened here!”</p><p>Sam, obviously cranky from her ordeal, shot Cassandra a look. “Look, lady, I’m sure you’re perfectly awesome, but right now the mere existence of you and the hobo over there is making my soul want to leave my body without so much as a thank you note.” Then she squinted and separated her index finger and thumb a tiny bit. "So I’mma need you to turn it down just a tad, ok? Also, I’m not a goddamn movie- I don’t see the past.” She groaned, then threw up next to a nearby rock. “There’s red lyrium here,” she croaked, wiping her mouth. </p><p>“Shit,” Varric said. “You got any more of that stuff you had last time?” </p><p>“Drinking so much of it that I’m going to have to piss like a racehorse,” Sam replied. “But I'm not going to lie- it’s not going to do me that much good.”</p><p>“You gotta seal that rift, quick,” Varric whispered to Lana. “Sparrow goes down like a ton of bricks around this stuff.” </p><p>She nodded. “Then let’s get this done, and quickly. Find a path down there, now!”</p><p class="p1">
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</p>
<hr/><p>Varric didn’t want to be the one to tell Curly that his wife was looking like she was knocking on the Maker’s door, but if they didn’t get this handled quickly, he was afraid he was going to be giving remarks at what was sure to be a very awkward service. </p><p>When they reached the rift, there was a huge Pride demon in the center of the courtyard, because reasons. He groaned as he aimed at the beast, hoping that the sisters would be able to pull something out of their collective asses. However, with Sparrow barely able to stand, he had low hopes for anything remotely close to a miracle.</p><p>“If we live through this, you owe me an explanation, Varric!” Cassandra yelled.</p><p>“Hell, if we live through this I owe you that plus a drink!” Varric yelled back as he fired a bolt into a nearby demon. “So I’m hoping you really like drinks and choose to kick this thing’s ass for one!” </p><p>The seeker ignored him, but he aimed at a nearby demon that was approaching her from behind. She whirled around as it disintegrated, then scoffed as he gave her a jaunty little wave. <em>Better to die with dignity</em>, he thought. <em>May as well go out giving them something to talk about</em>. </p><p>Soon, the air began to crackle- out of the corner of his eye he saw Lana and Sparrow, with Lana’s mark extended toward the rift and the other on Sparrow’s shoulder. Green wisps were circling the two girls, and he could feel the hairs on his arm standing on end as Lana began channeling power from the rift. A demon was approaching the girls from behind, so he nocked a bolt, sending a shot into the creature and staggering it back. “Keep them off them!” Varric yelled. “They're trying to do that thing!”</p><p>Cassandra nodded, racing over to provide the girls some cover while Lana did whatever she was trying to do. Varric hoped that whatever plan they had, they would do it soon- he was running out of bolts, and he didn’t let just anything touch Bianca. If they kept this up, he was going to have to resort to setting traps and hoping the demons were prone to trip caltrops. </p><p>Just as he was about to reconsider his life choices, Sam’s voice rang out across the yard. “Everyone take cover!” Sam screamed. “Lana, bomb-dot-com, right now!” </p><p>“Coming right up!” the mage yelled, her red hair whipping in the swirls of green around them. “See you in the next life, sister!” </p><p>Before anyone could protest, there was a pulse of green light from both of them just before the rift exploded, shooting straight up into the sky. When it hit the breach there was a pause, then a blinding flash of white, leaving everyone stunned for a moment and trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. </p><p>When the smoke cleared, Varric ran out from cover, scanning the area. Dusty but alive, he saw the Seeker, looking amazed as she looked around. “The rift is sealed,” she said in awe. “They did it."</p><p>“But where are they?” Varric asked, dread in his throat. “Where’s the Hero and Sparrow?”</p><p>“Here!” Solas called. “I found them!” He looked over at the elf, and his heart sunk when he saw the two girls, still holding hands, unconscious near a pile of rubble. “We need to get them out of here!"</p><p>
  <em>Please be ok, he thought, and for the love of the Maker, don’t let-</em>
</p><p>“Sam!” Cullen’s voice echoed through the yard and Varric groaned, looking at the Seeker. He ignored everyone, racing over to the girls. Without saying a word, the Commander had grabbed them both, scooping them up in his massive arms as he carried them back toward Haven, face tight and grim. </p><p>As he trudged behind them, the dwarf looked at the Seeker. “We better start praying that they’re ok, Seeker.”</p><p>“That is a given,” she said as they made their way back. “But what makes you say that?” </p><p>“Because I’ve seen him like that before,” he said grimly. “And I can practically guarantee that none of us are going to want to be anywhere near him if she isn't." </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Herald and the Savior</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sam wakes up in Haven</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>I woke up on a scratchy mattress with a bald hobo staring at me. Not how I expected my afterlife to be, but I supposed I hadn’t really earned the premium lounge just yet, so I sighed and settled back in the bed. “Am I dead?”</p><p>“No, but I can’t say it wasn’t for lack of trying,” Solas responded with a polite smile. “Welcome back, Samantha.” He stared at me, curiosity evident in his face. “I’ve watched over you and… your sister for the past two days-“</p><p>“Gee, that’s not creepy at all,” I replied with a smile, then winced at his branches. “You know what- fuck it. You’re being a weirdo, so I’m gonna be one too. Give me something of yours, please,” I asked, extending my hand to him. “I’m not going to be able to be around you otherwise until I can draw you.” When he looked at me strangely, I raised my eyebrow. “Oh, so you can tell me you just stood there and watched us sleep for the past two days, but you look at me funny when I ask you for a trinket from your pocket?” I huffed, flopping back down and resting my hand on Lana’s shoulder- I was apparently sharing a bed with her.  “We out of beds or something?”</p><p>“You are a curious one, Samantha,” Solas said mildly, placing a small herb in my hand- instantly, the pressure in my head subsided, and I let out a relieved sigh. “To answer your question, it was requested that you be moved to the Commander’s tent, but every time we tried to separate the two of you, you would both scream in pain and her mark would flare. It appears,” he said as he looked over at Lana with curiosity, “that the two of you share a connection.” </p><p>“Duh,” I said, smiling as I got shakily to my feet. “I could’ve told you that.”</p><p>He put up a hand to stop me. “Don’t get up just yet- you’re still very weak… and your sister still needs your strength.” Solas patted me on my leg as he rose from the stool next to me. “I tried to give you a lyrium potion-“ I paled, then he smiled. “Do not worry- I was harshly instructed against doing so by the Commander.” I let out a sigh of relief, then the elf let out a soft chuckle. “I’ll go and inform him and the others that you are conscious- he asked to specifically be told when you awoke.” </p><p>I relaxed back into the bed. “Thanks for your help, Solas.” Suddenly, I had a thought and started to panic. “Where’s my bag?” </p><p>“With the Commander,” he replied. “He took it with him when he brought you in here.” He looked at me again, then paused at the door. “Would you mind if I spoke with you later? I have a few questions you might be able to assist me with.”</p><p>“Seeing as how you saved my life, I think we can definitely have a chat,” I replied. “Especially if you send over a Commander that’s holding my stuff hostage.”</p><p>“Funny, I think that task might not prove too difficult,” Solas replied, giving me a small wave as he left. “Well met, Samantha.” </p><p>I laid back on the bed, hand resting on Lana’s. I’d thought that closing the rift meant I’d get to go home, but apparently not- I was still here, and it seemed like I was needed a little more than ever. If Lana’s health was tied to mine, then there was no way I was leaving her. I did want my bag- I was pretty sure I had food in there, and I would kill for something to eat right now. Looking over at Lana, I noticed we were in Thedas style clothing- both of us were wearing simple nightdresses, and our old clothes were in a ripped heap in the corner of the room. I had serious questions about how we got into them and who in town had already seen me naked, but I decided that those concerns were best left for another time.</p><p>Feeling my stomach twist at the sight of Grace's NYU sweatshirt in tatters, I slowly got out of bed. My lower half was covered in small cuts and bruises, but nothing appeared broken, so I gingerly crossed the room, wincing at the pain in my legs. When I got to the pile, I sat on the floor, exhausted, but I focused my energy anyway- I wanted to know if I could change things that hadn’t come from my backpack. As I had hoped, the clothes began to mend themselves, going back to a brand new state, as if they were never worn in the first place. I hugged Grace's shirt to my chest, crying and rocking back and forth. Logically, I knew it was just a piece of clothing, but I had lost my whole world- if I lost this shirt, it would be like losing the last link I had to my sister, and I didn’t know if I could handle that right now. </p><p>Soon I heard the sound of armor moving, followed by a heavy hand resting on my shoulder. “Are you all right?” Cullen asked.</p><p>Turning around, I saw those amber eyes I loved so much staring at me with concern and I said the first thing that came to my mind. “You’re still using my gel.”</p><p>He laughed. “I did it to meet with the Divine… but it became a habit,” he said with a smile. “I appreciate not having my hair flying around everywhere.” He opened his arms, and I fell into them, wrapping mine around his waist. “You scared me, love. I thought I lost you, and when you didn’t go home…” </p><p>“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” I said into his chest. “But me going back would be kind of hard to do, considering I’m here for good and all.”</p><p><em>That</em> got his attention- he pulled back and blinked, looking at me in disbelief. “You are?”</p><p>I jerked my thumb at the bed. “I had to choose to get this one back- I figured you guys were worth the trade.” Staring up at him and looking at the shock on his face, I looked down, starting to feel a bit foolish. “Still want me here? I mean, it’s going to be kind of awkward if you don’t, but-” </p><p>“Sam, shut up,” he said, grabbing my face and kissing me before I could say another word. Savoring the sensation of his lips on mine, I felt the tears start to pour down my face again- at least this time, they were tears of relief. When we finally stopped, he swiped his thumb over my wet cheeks, kissing the trails of my tears. “Maker, do you know how long I’ve waited to hear you say that?” </p><p>“Ten years?” I asked with a grin. “At least, I hope that’s the case, considering you haven’t left me yet.”</p><p>“You are impossible, you know that? My impossible wife, finally here with me.” He stroked my hair, smiling at me and shaking his head. “Of course it would be when the very sky is torn asunder, but that appears to be when we thrive."</p><p>“Wouldn’t be us otherwise,” I agreed. “Love you.”</p><p>“And I you,” he replied. “How are you feeling?” He looked me over, then glanced at my ring. “It appears as if you’ve gathered your energy back- the ring is clear again.” </p><p>“Yep, and I learned a new trick,” I replied, gesturing to the clothes. “I can make things go back to a previous state, which is mighty nice since I can’t go home to get anything new,” I smirked, pointing to his hair. “So when that gel container runs out, you should probably sneak it over, unless you want your troops knowing what gorgeous curls you have.” </p><p>“Fair point,” he said with a grin. “Then I suppose you’ll be wanting this.” He handed me my bag, then snatched it back right away. “Sam, you know you can’t wear your old clothes here, right?” </p><p>“But they’re warm,” I pleaded. “It’s colder than a witch’s tit here! There’s no damn reason for anyone to wear a dress when it’s this damn cold!” </p><p>“It’s not unheard of to wear breeches, you know,” he teased. “I think you’d survive, Lady Rutherford.” </p><p>I smirked at him, crossing my arms. “Don’t you have troops to go see?” </p><p>He leaned over, placing a kiss on my lips. “I had to come and check on the Herald and the Savior first… it’s part of my duty as the Commander of the Inquisition to look after all the troops under my command, you know.”</p><p>“Whatever,” I retorted, chuckling. Then I paused, hearing what he actually said. “The Herald and the Savior?”</p><p>“It appears that the two of you made quite an impression with the residents,” he said as he stood up, offering me a hand and guiding me back to the bed. “Everyone is waiting to see you.” </p><p>“Do they know?” I asked quietly. “About you and I, that is.” </p><p>“Does it matter?” Cullen asked, raising his eyebrow. “Is it a problem?” </p><p>“I just don’t want to cause an issue for you,” I said carefully. “It was a major problem in Kirkwall-“</p><p>“I am no longer a Templar, so what we do is our own business,” he said firmly. “I am more than capable of separating love from duty- I’ve had ten years of practice doing so.” </p><p>“Hey, I’m just making sure,” I replied, settling back down on the bed and rummaging through the bag he sat next to me. “Oh man, Mom is the best- she packed me a renewable lunch with a weirdo ice pack- I got two frozen burritos, some oatmeal, two oranges, some crackers, cheese, jerky, and trail mix…” </p><p>“Looks like she was packing for the two of you,” he said, gesturing to Lana and settling on the stool next to our bedside. “Though I am capable of feeding my wife, I must admit, that was nice of her."</p><p>“Yeah, well sometimes it’s just nice to have a taste of home, you know?” I looked at the next item, a confused look on my face. "And a pack of hot dogs? What the hell, man? I barely even like these things!” </p><p>Cullen frowned. “Aren’t those the things we used to put on sticks and eat at camp?” I nodded and he let out a laugh. “Then that explains it- Lana loved them, Sam. It looks like they’re for her, not you.” </p><p>“Great, she can throw mystery meat in the bag, but not my candy? That’s just awesome.” Then I looked down and laughed as I dug in the bag a little more, and squealed with delight. “Looks like I spoke too soon- there’s a tiny bag of Jolly Ranchers! She does love me- there’s even a box of hot chocolate, some Oreos, and M&amp;M’s in here!” I sighed, replacing the items. “This bag officially contains everything I have left from my world, Cullen- that’s it. My home no longer exists for me.”</p><p>He rubbed my shoulders as I dropped the bag to the floor, too drained to even look through the rest of it. “Sam… it will be okay, I promise.” He paused, looking up at the ceiling for a moment. “I’ll admit, I wish you’d have come to stay for me, but I’ll take what I can get.”</p><p>“I knew that was going to come up sooner or later,” I admitted. “Funny thing is, Grace and I were just talking about that very thing before I heard from Lana.”</p><p>He looked back down at me. “You were?” </p><p>“Yeah… she came over to visit and told me I was an idiot for not following sooner. So I wouldn’t be too offended if I were you- it was going to happen, regardless, and I know that…” I sighed, laying back on the bed and smoothing Lana’s hair. “It’s just a shock, that’s all.”</p><p>“I can see that.” He placed a kiss on my head. “I’m going to get to my training, but I’ll send someone over with something for you to eat… no sense in you eating a frozen burrito if we have hot food available for you.”</p><p>“You’re the best,” I replied, settling into my pillow as he tucked me in under the blankets. “I guess I should reach out and tell Ali we’re alive. He’s probably wondering why he hasn’t heard from me lately.”</p><p>Cullen stood up, running his hand along my cheek. “You guys are still close, I take it?” </p><p>I nodded. “He was my connection to her. Now that she’s here, I have to tell him- if it were you, I’d want to know.”</p><p>“Understandable,” he replied with a smile. “Tell him hello for me- when you finish eating, you should probably go find Leliana.” He looked at the pile of clothes on the floor, then back at me. “We’ll send the two of you some warm clothes to change into when your food comes.” </p><p>I glared at him. “You’re giving me special treatment,” I complained. “You wouldn’t do this for anyone else.”</p><p>“I’m not married to anyone else,” he teased. “Nor is anyone else the person who helped save my soldiers and closed that rift… well, besides my sister-in-law, who I am also assisting, who just happens to be the Herald of Andraste.”</p><p>I groaned, then looked over at Lana. “You know she’s going to have a fit when she hears this, right?”</p><p>He shrugged as he left the room, a smirk on his face. “That sounds like a problem for her sister, not the Commander of the Inquisition. Can’t be going around giving preferential treatment, you know.”</p><p>“Ass,” I hissed as he waved, closing the door behind him.<br/>—</p><p><em>Ali, </em>I thought.<em> Are you there? </em><br/> <br/>Instead of his cheerful response, I got nothing but silence, which was unusual- even if he was busy, I would usually get some kind of reply. Starting to get concerned, I reached out to try again.</p><p>
  <em>Yo, I got cheese- where are you? </em>
</p><p>There was still no response, and I fingered the locket around my neck. There was still the hum of power thrumming through it, which meant he was still wearing it… Then I looked over at Lana’s sleeping form and groaned. <em>She’s wearing it- that’s why I can’t reach him!</em></p><p>Feeling stupid but realizing I still needed to get a message to him, I pulled out my sketchbook and my pencils from the bag, settling in at the desk to draw a picture of Lana as she rested, her hair messy and wild but her face relaxed, and the green sparks from her hand crackling ever so often, causing my ring to glow. I drew for a while, trying to get the details right, making sure I gave him exactly what I was seeing. He needed to know that she was all right, that whatever he did to get her that locket had worked and I was with her. </p><p>At some point, there was a knock on the door, and I opened it to find Varric, holding a tray of food and some clothes. “Hey, Sparrow,” he said happily. “Heard you were awake- didn’t tell the masses yet, in case you’re wondering.”</p><p>I laughed, ushering him inside quickly. “Thank god for that- what the hell is going on? The Herald and the Savior?”</p><p>“Curly told you, huh?” Varric said, placing the tray on the table, then looking over at my drawing. “Pretty nice work there- maybe I should get you to illustrate my books. Might make a killing with something like that.”</p><p>“Seeing as I don’t think we have copiers yet, I think I might not be up to the task,” I said with a grin. “But seriously, what in the entire hell is going on? Who came up with that bullshit?”</p><p>“Apparently, when you fall out of a rift with a glowing woman above you while everything else is blown to shit, people think you’re touched by Andraste herself. Also, when you stand on a hill with a green mist around you and start freezing demons so soldiers can get the hell out of the way, you qualify as a savior. And when both of these two chuckleheads decide to get rid of a rift that made people think we were going to be ass-deep in demons forever, you kinda cement the tales.”</p><p>“Well, un-cement that shit,” I said quickly, shoveling the food into my mouth. "I don’t want that title. I can’t even save my own ass, let alone the collective asses of Thedas- that’s Lana’s job.” </p><p>“Too late,” he replied with a shrug. “I gotta admit, it’s kinda catchy. If this was a book, it would practically write itself.”</p><p>“You’re lucky I’m too weak to throw you out, Varric,” I growled, shoving a piece of bread in my mouth angrily. “This is not going to go well when they figure out what a fraud I am.”</p><p>Varric gave me a look, “I think you’re selling yourself short, Sparrow- you did pretty well back there. And when you’re with your sis, you two are pretty fucking scary, you know that?”</p><p>“Whatever,” I replied. “Look, I gotta get a message to Alistair- he needs to know that Lana’s alive. Is Baron Plucky still around?” </p><p>“That big scary bird?” He thought about it for a moment. "Yeah, he sleeps in the rookery with the other birds- can’t really miss him.” </p><p>“Good- is there anyone outside the cabin?” I frowned. “When I finish this, I need to call for him and I don’t want to be swarmed by Thedas paparazzi.”</p><p>“Nope, you’re clear for now,” he said with a chuckle. “Looks like the Commander gave the order for everyone to back off till you guys came out on your own. Solas is standing guard down by the entrance."</p><p>“You are my new best friend,” I said, placing a kiss on his forehead. “Thanks, Varric.”</p><p>He laughed, standing up and shaking his head. “Anything for a friend, Sparrow. How’s the hero?”</p><p>I shrugged. “Sleeping, it seems. I woke up first- I haven’t talked to her yet.” </p><p>“Well, keep us posted,” the dwarf replied. “Some of us have stories to tell and books to write, you know.” </p><p>—<br/>When he left I finished my drawing, writing a quick note on the back. Once I had encoded my message enough to ensure Leliana wouldn’t murder me for spilling trade secrets, I saved a piece of bread and called for Baron Plucky, hoping that he was just as effective here as he was back home.</p><p>
  <em>Cheesy,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don’t know how it happened, but Banana and I are both back. She’s got some weird mark on her hand, and they’re calling her the Herald. You and I both know she’s gonna be pissed when she hears about this- good thing she’s still asleep or there’d probably be blood in the streets. You know, like the last time you guys were here. At least this place cleaned up nice- small favors, I suppose. She’s got the locket, so I can’t talk to you directly until we get matching things again- send two of something you own with the bird and I’ll send one back. Don’t send food- I can’t guarantee you won't eat your charm out of desperation. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And by the way, it looks like I’m here for good, but we’ll talk more about that later. In fact, there’s a whole lot to talk about, so hurry up and send that token so I can give you all the details. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, </em>
  <br/>
  <em>Sparrow</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. You're asking me?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sam and Lana meet the advisors</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Slowly, Lana opened her eyes, only to find someone staring at her. “Sam? Is that you?”</p><p>“Who else is it gonna be, Lana Banana,” she said with a cheeky grin. “Whassup, roomie- they shoved us in here together for the time being.”</p><p>“Funny, I thought you’d be necking with the Commander by now,” Lana said with a grin, sitting up slowly. “I know it used to be impossible to separate you at night ten years ago.”</p><p>Sam got a haughty look on her face and turned her nose up in the air. “I’ll have you know we’ve matured since then, Lana.” Then she grinned. “Also, I just woke up yesterday, so there hasn’t been time for any of that.” She peered into her face, then settled back, resting on her knees. “How are you feeling?”</p><p>Lana ran her hand through her hair, grateful to not feel a bump this time. “Other than feeling like I’ve been run over by a herd of druffalo, pretty good. How long was I out?</p><p>“Three days. I was out for two, so you win.” Sam sighed, then looked at the door. "Oh, shit is fucked up out there, just so you know- they’re calling us the Herald and the Savior. Guess who’s which for a piece of candy.” She gestured to the pile of clothes and the food on the table. “Food is there, clothes are there. I already got told off about wearing my Earth clothes, so I’m supposed to give you the same message. Personally, I say fuck ‘em, I just saved the world, but apparently, that’s not the answer I’m supposed to give.” Sam shrugged. “And I wrote to Ali for you.”</p><p>“And you couldn’t wait until I got dressed before you went into every single detail of your life yesterday?” Lana groaned, getting out of bed and gathering her robes and leggings. Sam frowned, stopping her before rummaging in her bag for a moment, pulling out a small kit that made Lana smile. “Oh Maker, you brought toiletries! I loved these things at the house!”</p><p>“Since I’m sharing a room with your funky ass, I can’t wait for you to have them either,” Sam said. “They drew you a bath in that weird thing over there, I prepped some water for you to brush your teeth, your toothbrush is in there, and so is the soap, deodorant, and shampoo. Go with god- you smell terrible.”</p><p>She raised her arm, then wrinkled her nose. “Ugh, I’m afraid you’re right- how have you lasted this whole day with me like this?”</p><p>“Air freshener,” Sam said seriously. "I don’t come to Thedas without it now. Seriously, folks smell like ass out here and I’m trying to get used to it, but I know I’m going to get in trouble for handing someone a mint for my own peace of mind.”</p><p>“These seem like problems for someone that hasn’t lived through a war,” Lana chided as she stripped out of her nightgown, settling into the cask and sighing at the feeling of the water over her aching muscles before warming it with a bit of fire magic. “So what is your excuse, sister?”</p><p>Sam ignored her comment and looked at her enviously. “Well, that would’ve been useful- I took an ice-cold bath. It must be nice to have flames that shoot from your fingers.”</p><p>“It is.” She grinned at the woman, then held up her glowing hand. “Care to offer a little assistance? I could use some help with my hair.”</p><p>“Only because you’re recently alive,” Sam replied with a smirk. “I guess I can help with that.” She began combing and detangling her hair, then gently scrubbing to wash all the dirt away- Lana sighed with happiness as the floral scent filled the room. “Maker, this is the happiest I’ve been since I’ve arrived in Thedas,” she murmured. “Thank you, Sam.”</p><p>“I’d say anytime, but I’d be lying,” she remarked. “But you’re welcome. Love you, Lana Banana.”</p><p>“Love you too, Sam.”</p><p>When she was rinsed off, she used a bit of her magic to dry herself and her hair, prompting another scowl from Sam as she got dressed and brushed her teeth. “You know what? That trick would almost make up for the lack of a toilet out here.” She sighed, then pointed to her bag. “Since you’re basically a walking oven, you feel like helping me with breakfast?”</p><p>Lana’s ears perked up. “What is this breakfast you speak of, Sam?”</p><p>Sam smiled. “Mom sent us food- two frozen microwave burritos and some hot chocolate,” she replied, holding the bag in her hand. "If you can get me some hot water that hasn’t been under your ass and you use your fire hands on these, we can have breakfast.”</p><p>“That I can certainly do,” Lana agreed, creating ice inside the two cups and then melting it, heating it to boiling, then warming the burritos Sam put in her hands. Suddenly, the smell of chocolate and eggs filled the air, and Lana smiled happily. “Ordinarily I would say this is frivolous, but I have been spit out of a rift and unconscious for the last three days- I think I am allowed a bit of this for myself, don’t you?”</p><p>“Mrgh Mhgnnf”, Sam mumbled, mouth full of burrito- Lana laughed, taking a bite of her food. Sam swallowed, then spoke. “I agree. Especially with this Herald and Savior nonsense going on out there- I haven’t wanted to leave this place at all.” She sniffed, then nodded. “And now you smell like a person. Granted, a really floral person, but no longer like a barn animal, which is an improvement.”</p><p>“I was held in a dungeon, Sam,” Lana replied dryly. “Against my will and almost murdered by my best friend- that tends to put a damper on hygiene."</p><p>“Speaking of which, we should probably go see Leliana now that we’re both awake,” Sam replied. “I wasn’t leaving without you.”</p><p>“Give me a moment,” Lana replied. “I’m enjoying my breakfast before the day goes to shit- with us, I know that is a distinct possibility.” She held out the wrappers to Sam, face full of excitement. “You can refill these, right?”</p><p>Her sister frowned as she restored the food items. “I’m not eating this shit every day, Lana- I’m quite sure Thedas has chickens. We can make food, you know.”</p><p>Lana gulped down the last of her chocolate and shoved the remaining corner of the burrito in her mouth. “Probably- but they aren’t here right now, are they? I was at Ostagar- I know what rations taste like. And if I have a choice,” she said as she wiped her mouth, “then you better get used to rewinding those tasty little things. Otherwise, I’m going to become so annoying that you’d sell your soul to travel back home to escape me."</p><p>Sam groaned, then winked. “For fuck’s sake, Lana… is this really my life now?”</p><p>Lana gave her a large smile, then pulled her in for a big hug. “Team Mage forever, sister."</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Cullen could see how annoyed Sam was when she and Lana entered the Chantry to meet with the advisors, and the fact that Roderick was standing in the room arguing with Cassandra was doing nothing to temper her mood. He sincerely hoped she’d eaten breakfast, otherwise, she was likely to take Lana’s hand and incinerate the Chancellor on the spot.</p><p>Roderick was mad, yelling in Cassandra’s face. “The prisoner failed, seeker- the Breach is still in the sky. For all you know, she intended it this way- maybe it was this… <em>miscreant</em> she has with her, who knows? The point is, she should be taken to Val Royeaux immediately, to be tried by whoever becomes Divine!”</p><p>Sam rolled her eyes. “Yeah, because we <em>so</em> want a gigantic green tear in the goddamn sky- seriously, do you even hear yourself sometimes?” She turned to Cassandra, blowing out a deep breath. “How the hell have you not punched him in the face just yet?”</p><p>“I have untold amounts of self-restraint,” said the Seeker, a trace of amusement on her face.</p><p>“Chancellor,” Lana said, ignoring her sister. “I did everything I could to close the breach. It almost killed me and my sister in service of that goal.”</p><p>Roderick sneered, looking up at Lana with disdain. "Yet you live. A convenient result, insofar as you’re concerned.”</p><p>Sam looked at Lana, then her head swiveled to the chancellor, her eyes wide with rage. “Did this motherfucker just-“ Lana put a hand on Sam’s shoulder, but the tiny girl started stalking forward, fists curled up at her side. “Someone better ask me a question real fucking fast,” she growled, "because otherwise, I’m about to take this asshole out of the equation.”</p><p>After taking a moment to realize his wife was serious, Cullen strode across the room, grabbing Sam in one fell swoop and guiding her to a corner. “Samantha,” he said calmly, “we cannot talk of enacting violence on the Chancellor- is that clear?”</p><p>“He’s talking about my sister!” Sam said angrily. “He’s lucky I’m not Grace- I would’ve shot him in the mouth by now!”</p><p>Cassandra looked mildly amused when she turned back to Roderick. “If I were you, I’d have a care, Chancellor. Besides, the breach is not the only threat we face.”</p><p>Leliana nodded. "Someone was behind the explosion at the Conclave. Someone Most Holy did not expect. If we are lucky, then they died with the others.” The spymaster then leaned on the table, staring directly at Roderick. “Or they have allies who yet live."</p><p>He looked at Leliana, aghast. “Are you accusing <em>me!</em>”</p><p>Sam shrugged. “If the shoe fits, you grumpy bastard.”</p><p>Roderick turned an interesting shade of purple and pointed angrily at Sam and Lana, shaking with fury. “That is <em>it!</em> I want the two of them arrested, immediately!”</p><p>Cullen started to protest, but Cassandra stepped in. “Disregard that, and leave us, immediately.” The templars saluted the Seeker, then left. “The breach is still a threat that I will not ignore, Chancellor, and Solana can help us close it. I will use every resource I have at my disposal to keep my country safe, as should you.”</p><p>The Chancellor looked over at Sam, then shook his head. "You play a dangerous game, Seeker."</p><p>Since Lana and Cassandra seemed capable of handling the situation, Cullen turned to Sam and spoke to her silently. <em>Sam, what in the world has gotten into you this morning? Do you have no sense of self-preservation?</em></p><p><em>I’m angry,</em> she replied, crossing her arms while he held her by her shoulders. <em>Lana already died for these people- I lost my sister for a year so assholes like this could even have the ability to fix their mouth to treat her this way, and I’m sick of it! No one in this whole goddamn world seems to stand up for her except me, Cullen.</em></p><p><em>Look around,</em> he replied. <em>Cassandra is on her side. Leliana is on her side. I am on her side. We are not going to let this moron do anything to her- they’re just doing it another way. You don’t always have to be angry to get things done- Lana’s never gone that route, and I don’t see her starting now.</em></p><p>Suddenly, a book slammed on the table, and they both looked up. Based on the looks on their faces, it appeared that Cassandra had finally had enough. “This is a writ from the Divine, granting us the authority to act. As of this moment, I declare the Inquisition reborn- we will close the breach, we will find those responsible, and we will restore order.” She leaned down, glowering at the small man. "With or without your approval.”</p><p>Chancellor Roderick huffed and flounced out the Chantry, leaving them all staring at each other in bemused silence. Finally, Sam spoke, leaning toward Lana and inclining her head at Cassandra. “I think I like her,” Sam said approvingly. “I’m happy someone had enough balls to stand up to that jerk.”</p><p>“Sam, I don’t think that's the appropriate takeaway,” Lana said with a smirk. “Admittedly, he is a twat, but I think you could have handled it a bit better.”</p><p>“Don’t care,” she said. “Maybe I’ll care tomorrow, but right now I can’t say I do.” Then she turned to Leliana. “Leli, you’ve been trying to get me here for years...” Sam said with a smile. “So what do you want to know?”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>After I had shown my ass to the Chancellor, I looked around the room at the faces at the table. I had met everyone there, except for the tan woman in the ruffly gold shirt. “I don’t believe we’ve met,” I said, extending my hand. “Samantha Rutherford, sister to Solana Amell. Nice to meet you."</p><p>Her eyebrows raised slightly at our names, but the woman was poise incarnate- if I didn't rattle her, I was sure nothing would. “Josephine Montilyet, ambassador to the Inquisition, at your service.” She then paused, looking back and forth between me, Cullen, and Lana. “My apologies, but I do need to clarify- did you say Rutherford?”</p><p>“She’s my wife, Josephine,” Cullen said quietly. “And my sister-in-law is the Hero of Ferelden.” He gave a slight shrug. “It appears that I’m related to a great deal of the Inquisition.”</p><p>Leliana let out a soft laugh. “An inquisition with no leader, resources, or Chantry support, it seems.”</p><p>Ignoring Leliana, Josephine gave me a bright smile, leaning over to shake my hand. “We shall deal with those issues as they come. But as for now, I bid you welcome, Lady Rutherford. And you as well, Lady Amell,” she continued, extending a hand to Lana, who shook it politely.</p><p>“Just Sam is fine- let’s not cause unnecessary drama.” Cullen gave me a pointed look, and I laughed. “Well, no more drama than I normally cause,” I said with a laugh. "But I came here to get down to brass tacks for Cassandra and apparently you, Josephine.”</p><p>“Sam,” Cullen warned. “Are you sure-“</p><p>“If I’m going to be here, I may as well lay it on the line- I don’t want there being any confusion about what I can or cannot do. I don’t want to be the cause of any more hurt feelings,” I said, looking directly at Leliana. “I value my friends too much for that.”</p><p>To her credit, Leliana nodded. “I can respect your position, Sam.” Then she turned to Josephine and Cassandra. “The sisters are… special. Sam is from another world, and Lana has been dead for the past ten years. Even I must admit, I am not sure as to the circumstances of her return.”</p><p>I looked at Lana, who nodded. “Our mom sent her back,” I said. “She did it on the condition that I come back with her… for good.”</p><p>For the first time since I had met her, Leliana looked shocked. “You cannot return home?”</p><p>I shook my head, and Cullen reached for my hand. “Nope. I’m here for good.” I didn’t want to add ‘until my mission is finished’ since I didn’t even know what the mission entailed- so I decided to keep that fact to myself. “So, if I’m going to be here, I want to help. I’m a Watcher,” I said quietly. “I see the consequences of the decisions people make. Some things I can see just by looking or touching a person- that’s usually when it super strong. Most of the time, it's done with a question about a choice you want to make. But there are rules,” I said carefully. “I can’t see my own fate- that’s a blind spot. I can’t see too far into the future, usually just a few steps ahead. And I can’t see in the past,” I said to Cassandra, who looked down at her feet. “And there are fixed events.”</p><p>Josephine looked curious. “What do you mean by that?” As soon as she asked the question, Cullen and Leliana looked down at the floor. “I’m not sure that I understand.”</p><p>“Some things, no matter how much we want them to change or how much we wish we could control them, are just going to happen a certain way. I can’t see those paths- it’s like a huge blind spot for me. So, take what happened at the Conclave- I couldn’t see it. I had no idea what was going to occur- it was a fixed point.” I swallowed. “It was like that in Kirkwall too, when the Chantry blew up- I couldn’t see anything about it, or even the decisions that led to it, It was, sadly, going to happen no matter what. Those are the hardest to accept because they’re usually never good things. You never get a fixed event of a gift basket of puppies dropping in your lap to smother you with doggie kisses.” Lana let out a soft snort and I smiled. “So that’s what I can do.”</p><p>Leliana looked at me. “You forgot something important,” she said, grabbing a book and looking at Josephine. “Read this, please.” She opened the book to a page and pointed at a passage. Cassandra leaned over to look at the pages- she started to say something, but Leliana shook her head. “Just wait,” she said, looking at me.</p><p>I rolled my eyes, realizing my mistake. “Its the chant of light,” I said. “Transfigurations 1, to be exact.” I looked at the book, then back to the spymaster. "Geez Louise, how many versions of this damn book are out here?”</p><p>“Quite a few,” she replied, looking at Josephine. “Anything else you want to share?”</p><p>“Nothing I can think of,” I said with a shrug. Then I noticed her smile at the ambassador, and I groaned. “We’re speaking Orlesian again, aren’t we?”</p><p>“But of course- why wouldn’t I take advantage?” Leliana said with a smirk, turning to Josephine. “She understands, speaks, reads, and writes every language. Well, except for dog,” she said with a grin- Lana laughed out loud at that, which meant she had spoken in Common again.</p><p>Cassandra looked amazed, but Josephine looked positively fascinated. “That is incredibly useful, Lady Rutherford-“ I gave her a look, and she corrected herself. “My mistake, Lady Samantha.” Then she looked thoughtful. “So, since you are not from here, we will need to come up with a backstory for you- when word gets out, nobles will flock to speak with you, and we must be prepared.”</p><p>I thought about it for a moment. “Well, Garrett Hawke is our cousin- he’s an Amell from Kirkwall. That town has gone to hell in a handbasket, so you could easily say I'm from there.”</p><p>“The Champion is your cousin!” Cassandra exclaimed. “That damn Varric didn’t mention you at all in his tale! I asked him <em>specifically</em> if there was anyone else we should be looking for, and he said no!"</p><p>She looked ready to murder the storyteller, but Cullen sighed. “That would be my fault, Seeker. I asked him not to mention her for this very reason- I didn’t want anyone trying to seek her out.”</p><p>“I feel like we’re on a daytime talk show with all the dirty laundry being aired right now,” I grumbled. “All we need now is a paternity test and we’d have a full episode."</p><p>“I <em>got</em> that reference!” Lana exclaimed excitedly. “I saw a few of those shows when I was in your world, Sam!” She shook her head. “There was an inordinate number of people that were not the father of some young woman’s baby- is that common?”</p><p>I put my head in my hands, but Leliana just looked at Lana. “You were in her world? If that’s the case, how did Sam not know you were alive?” Then she turned to me. “And you used to be able to find people you met, Sam- why couldn’t you find Hawke when we asked you to?”</p><p><em>I lied,</em> Cullen thought quickly,<em> He saved your life and I owed him a favor, so I said your powers weren’t working properly due to the red lyrium.</em></p><p>I groaned. “After Kirkwall, my powers were going haywire- I had to train with my mom again to get them back to where they functioned properly.” That much wasn’t a lie- I was out of commission for weeks after that, with only the barest of abilities at my disposal. “Besides, Hawke asked me not to look for him, so I didn’t. I haven’t spoken to anyone from Kirkwall except Varric and Cullen.” That was true as well- I’d been so engrossed in talking with Grace and her family that I had kept up only the bare minimum of contact with my friends here. <em>We <span class="u">so</span> have to talk,</em> I thought to my husband. <em>I’m not trying to have Leliana stab me.</em></p><p>“I can also communicate with Cullen and Lana through tokens, though I don’t want to make too many of them. It’s too close to a Horcrux for me,” Everyone looked at me strangely, except Lana, who nodded- I gave her a strange look. “Did you read that while you were in my world too? For Pete’s sake, Lana, did you get to do anything <em>fun</em> while you were there?”</p><p>“I went to the mall with you- that was fun,” she replied with a grin. “ But Mom gave me a journal, and it told me about your favorite books so I wouldn’t look foolish if you talked about it with me. And to answer your question, Leli, I was in an alternate version of her world.” She looked thoughtful for a moment. “You know, when you say it like that, it sounds quite insane."</p><p>“That sounds like Mom,” I agreed. “Insane is like our family crest.” Smiling, I turned to all the advisors. “So, there you have it- for the most part, that’s the scoop on us. I wanted to come clean if I was going to be here. Lana’s useful, I’m marginal, at best.”</p><p>“I’d hardly say that,” Leliana said. “We can use your advice. Particularly now,” she said with a sigh. “What do you think we should do, Sam?”</p><p>“You know I can’t answer a general question like that,” I said with a frown. “Is there anyone that might help us seal that big ass tear in the sky? Anyone got any suggestions on what we might want to do?”</p><p>“Theoretically, we could use the help of the mages to amplify Lana's mark,” Leliana said. "With enough power behind the two of you, we should be able to seal the breach.”</p><p>“<em>Or</em>,” Cullen’s face was a thundercloud. “We could also seek out the templars and instead of pouring more magic into a<em> magical hole in the sky</em>, we could nullify it. That sounds like the safer option to me.”</p><p>The ambassador let out a sigh. “Right now, both of these options are theoretical- some people are calling Solana the Herald of Andraste, which is angering the Chantry,” Josephine said, tapping her quill on her clipboard. “This limits our options, as we appear to be heretics, so neither the mages nor the templars will talk to us at the moment.”</p><p>“Great, I rise from the dead and I’m still a problem to the blasted Chantry,” Lana said with a groan. “Is there no one in this world with even a stitch of sense that can see reason? Besides, I never asked for that title in the first place!”</p><p>“Told you she was gonna be pissed,” I said to Cullen, then I turned to Josephine and Cassandra. “We’re not big on false titles here- we got enough problems.”</p><p>“Well, there’s nothing we can do about it now,” Leliana said. “The people need a hero, and after your actions with the rift, you have been seen as such. But...” She tapped her finger to her chin, thinking. “There is a Chantry Cleric by the name Mother Giselle who has asked to speak to you.” She turned to me, eyes bright. “What do you think, Sam? Should we speak with her?”</p><p>“Now that I can answer,” I said, pausing for a moment to check the threads, but stopping after a minute. “I want to check, but I need something from Josephine- she's interfering with my search.”</p><p>The two women looked at me strangely, but Lana spoke up. “She requires tokens from people she will be around constantly until she can sketch them in her sketchbook,” Lana replied. “She used to spend many nights at camp taking watch and sketching people- it was quite relaxing to watch.”</p><p>“I remember those nights,” Leliana said with a smile. “You suffered for a long time with our party, Sam- we never gave you tokens.”</p><p>“Yeah, I just constantly walked around with a low-grade headache or holding onto you, remember?” I grinned. “It was a goddamn relief when I finally finished my sketches of you guys. I finished Cassandra and Solas yesterday, but I didn’t know about Josephine.” I turned to the ambassador, an apologetic smile on my face. “May I hold your quill for a moment?”</p><p>Wordlessly, she handed it to me, and I breathed a sigh of relief- my head was clear again. Closing my eyes, I looked for the choice, trying to see as far down the path as I could. “She’s definitely the one you want to talk to. She needs help, though- there are a lot of people around her and they don’t look well.”</p><p>“Refugees,” Cullen murmured. “The fighting between the mages and the templars in the area has been rather bad as of late. These people are probably caught in the crossfire.” He looked at Leliana. “Do you know where she is?”</p><p>“My scouts tell me she is in the Hinterlands,” she said. “Which is good for us- it isn’t far away, and since she knows those involved far better than I, her assistance could be invaluable to our cause.”</p><p>Cullen looked thoughtful. “And if I recall, Master Dennett is in that area as well- he’s got the best horses in Ferelden. If we can convince him to help us, his mounts will be an asset to our cause.”</p><p>“Oh god, I have to ride a horse, don’t I?” I moaned. “I know walking all over Thedas last time sucked, but if it’s all right with you, I’m gonna pass on saddling up with Mister Ed.” I looked at Lana, who looked at me curiously, and I pumped my fist. “<em>Yes!</em> A bit of television you didn’t watch!”</p><p>“Not sure why that’s a good thing, but it doesn’t matter,” Lana said, shaking her head. “At any rate, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re coming with me, Sam. Which means eventually, you’re going to have to learn to ride a horse.” She shrugged. “Sorry to disappoint you.”</p><p>Cullen went pale. “She’s going with you?”</p><p>Lana nodded, staring at him as if he were stupid. “Yes, Commander. On a mission, it makes sense to take your best assets. I was going to ask Cassandra, Varric, and Solas to accompany us as well- I need to get to know those that have pledged their service to this cause. However,” she said, staring at Cullen pointedly, “Sam is not only my sister, but she is my best weapon out there. With her skills, I can accomplish this much quicker and I can relay information back to my advisors without anyone knowing.”</p><p>“You could do that easier if she stayed here,” Cullen said, crossing his arms. “You could just send her a message.”</p><p>“Commander,” I said, careful to separate the role from the man who I knew wanted to protect me at all costs. “I’m okay- I’m happy to go with Lana. This way I can answer any questions about how she should proceed. It worked well last time- we were able to avoid a lot of headaches that way, remember?”</p><p>“Lana,” Cullen said pointedly. “Make no mistake, I’m glad to have you back and I wish you well out there, but it appears we have a conflict of interests.” Then he rubbed the back of his neck, clearly irritated. “May I have a word with you outside, Sam?” Before I could even reply, he nodded in Lana’s direction, then walked out the Chantry, leaving four shocked faces in his wake.</p><p>“Shit,” I said, handing Josephine her quill and looking at Lana. “How did I piss him off already?”</p><p>She looked at me, then smirked. “I suppose it must be your winning personality, Sam.” I glared at her, then she giggled. “Maker, this is going to be just like old times!” She turned to Leliana. “Sure you don’t want to come with us? Team mage still offers cookies, you know.”</p><p>Leliana let out a genuine laugh. “Tempting, but no- I have too much to do here.” She looked at me, waving a finger in my face and smirking. "And don’t go stealing our Commander, either!”</p><p>“Spoilsport,” I retorted, sticking my tongue out at the spymaster. “You never let me have any fun."</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Reunions and Realizations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cullen and Sam have words while Leli and Lana have snacks</p>
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<hr/><p>I walked out the Chantry to find Cullen standing outside, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He turned his head when I approached, then he turned away, staring straight ahead. “Walk with me, Sam.”</p><p>Curious, I nodded, then followed him as he walked down the Chantry steps and toward the gates. “Care to tell me what this is all about?”</p><p>“I’d rather show you,” he said curtly. “Please, follow me.”  </p><p>Without another word, we went past the training grounds- there were men practicing maneuvers and prepping their weapons. One of them looked up when we passed, and his eyes widened with my approach. “Oy! It’s the Savior!” He started pointing at Cullen and me as we walked past, signaling to others. “She’s walking with the Commander!”</p><p>I tried to cover my face with my hand, but Cullen caught my movement out the corner of his eye. “No,” he said firmly, grabbing two practice daggers and a shield from the rack nearby. “You want to be in the forefront, you hold your head up before your troops. These are who you’ll be fighting with… these are the men you will kill if you fail, Sam. Look them in the eye- you owe them that much.”</p><p><em>When did he get so quick?</em> “I’m not fighting with them, Cullen,” I said quietly. The men in our path stopped what they were doing to salute us as we walked past, and I had to stop myself from flushing with embarrassment. “I’m going with Lana, just like before.”</p><p>We came to a stop in a small, quiet clearing, covered in snow and surrounded by trees. It was gorgeous, and I looked up, awe on my face. “I don’t think I’ve seen something this pretty in Ferelden in a long time.” I brushed my hand in the soft, powdery snow, feeling the chill beneath my fingertips. “It’s peaceful here.”</p><p>I heard a clatter on the ground behind me- looking over, I saw that he had thrown the daggers at my feet. “Pick them up,” he said, his tone as icy as the snow surrounding us. </p><p>I frowned. “What the hell?” </p><p>“Pick them up,” he repeated, gesturing to the knives at my feet, then circling me. “If you expect me to be okay with sending my wife who has only just recovered from a near-death battle out into the fray with mages and templars embroiled in conflict, then I need you to show me why I shouldn’t be absolutely pissed about this decision.”</p><p>“I don’t fight with daggers, Cullen- I’m terrible at it,” I replied, picking up the knives. “I don’t fight at all, really.”</p><p>He raised an eyebrow, still circling me. “So if you don’t fight, then why are you going? You could just as easily stay here.” </p><p>“Because Lana needs me, Cullen,” I said tersely, turning to watch him carefully- his movements were making me nervous and dizzy. “We’ve been over this- we’re stronger together.” </p><p>“So what happens when you get separated,” he asked. Before I could even respond, Cullen’s arm struck like lightning- he stole one of the daggers from my hand and grabbed me around my chest, forcing me to the ground. I fell hard at the sudden contact and the snow seeped into the back of my coat, making me shiver. “You can’t disappear home if something happens, Sam. You’re here… so how do you get away if someone attacks you?” He straddled me in the snow, one hand pressed on my chest to hold me down and the other held the dagger against my throat. “You don’t know what you’re doing out here, Sam,” he growled in my ear. “You’re vulnerable, and I can't be out there to protect you.” </p><p>“You’re scaring me, Cullen,” I admitted, swallowing as my eyes flitted to the knife at my throat. “Let me up, please.”</p><p>“Good,” he replied. “You should be scared. I’m terrified for you, but you don’t seem to see what I do, love.” Cullen removed the knife from my throat, but he didn’t move from above me- instead, he sighed, resting his forehead on mine. “Do you understand what you’re asking me to do? You want me to send what matters most to me out where I can’t protect you when I know you won’t be safe? Sam, this isn’t like before- the whole world has lost its mind. I’m not going to be there. Ali isn’t there with you, and neither is Sten, Leli, or Zevran. I trust Lana to the ends of the world, but she’s dealing with the mark- what happens if it flares up out there? Cassandra and Solas are there to protect her… not you.” </p><p>I hadn’t thought of it like that. “I just want to help,” I admitted. “I know I can help Lana if I go- Mom wouldn’t have sent me here otherwise.”</p><p>“Sam,” he said softly, “I know you’re strong. You’re more powerful than I even knew- I noticed that during the battle. But you’re reckless, love- you lead with your heart, not with your head.” </p><p>I started to protest, then realized I couldn’t- I’d proven that in the meeting with the Chancellor, and I’d done it in Denerim long ago. “If anyone else asks me this, I never said it… but you’re right,” I muttered, crossing my arms. “Look, I have to go,” I said carefully, “but if Cassandra and Solas are there for Lana, what if I stick to Varric like glue?”</p><p>He paled, but I pressed on. “No, listen- Lana and the team are prepping to leave in the next few days, right? Give me a bit to read and talk with Lana- I’m sure that there’s something I missed somewhere. Mom wouldn’t have sent me here without a way to protect myself- we both know that. And while we’re out there, I’ll practice with them every chance I get.” He gave me a skeptical look, and I reached up to touch his cheek. “Look, I know you don’t like this, but I was sent here to go with her. I’m your wife, but I’m her weapon... we both know it.”</p><p>Cullen closed his eyes, forehead still pressed against mine. “I finally get the one thing I’ve wanted more than anything else, only to have it snatched away from me. It’s not fair,” he whispered, placing a kiss on my head. "I’ve wished to have you with me for years, and as soon as I get you, I have to let you go.”</p><p>“I’m coming back,” I reminded him, placing my hand on his and relishing in the warmth of him against the cold snow. “You once told me you always wanted me to come home to you, and that’s exactly what’s going to happen. You’re my beacon, Cullen- no matter what, I'll always find my way to you… that’s a promise.”</p><p>He smiled, gently caressing the lines of my face as if he was trying to memorize me. “I’m going to hold you to that, love."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Lana and Leliana watched with interest as Sam and Cullen headed off into the distance. “He seems angry,” Lana said. “I fear it’s a bit different now that he’s the military authority and I’m just the girl with the glowing hand. Guess I can’t just give him orders anymore, I suppose.”</p><p>“You’re still a Grey Warden,” Leliana said, staring after them. “And her sister. I think you know what you’re doing.” </p><p>“I really don’t,” Lana admitted. “I’m making this up as I go along and trying not to panic along the way.” She sighed, then turned to her friend, reaching for her hand. “It’s so good to have you here with me, Leli- if I didn’t have you, Sam and Cullen in this madness, I might well have lost my mind. You guys make coming back to life a little easier.” </p><p>Leliana laughed, gesturing for her to head to her tent. “Why don’t we give them a moment to work things out while we catch up- after all, I haven’t seen my best friend in ten years.”</p><p>Lana laughed. “I wish we had Sam’s bag- she’s got snacks.” Then her eyes brightened. “Well, she can replace them… and it is a good cause…” </p><p>“She’s going to murder you, you do know that?” Leliana said as they switched directions and headed back to Lana’s cabin. “I’ve seen her when you’ve eaten the last of her things before- it isn’t pretty.”</p><p>“Meh,” Lana said with a shrug. “I’ve just returned from the dead- I’m allowed a pass.” She grinned at the spymaster, racing for the backpack in the corner of the room. “Now, let us break open these snacks before Sam returns and snatches them from us. “</p><p>—</p><p>“So,” Leliana said as she held the hot dog on a stick in front in the fireplace. “How are you doing? I haven’t had the chance to talk with you alone since your unexpected return, Lana.” </p><p>Lana took her snack out of the fire- it was deliciously charred, and she breathed a sigh of happiness at finding the meat sticks in Sam’s bag. Her and Leliana had created a veritable feast from the snacks she found inside, and while she knew her sister was going to skin her alive for the transgression, having these moments with her friend would be worth it. She felt normal again, and if she ignored the green fissures in her hand, she could almost pretend she was at camp- it was as if Ali and everyone else was asleep while she and Leli sat by the fire, chatting about the events of the day. </p><p>“It’s an adjustment,” she replied. “I don’t know what to expect if I’m to be honest. Last time, Flemeth gave us a directive- use the treaties, slay the archdemon. Now, we’re a bit aimless- it’s a big job, saving the world.” She sighed, taking a big bite of the sausage. “And I don’t know if I’m the person for the job anymore- it wasn’t as if I was qualified for it last time, either.”</p><p>“That’s all the more reason why you’re the best person for the job,” Leliana replied, taking a small bite of her food, blowing on it gently. “Those who desire power are often the ones who shouldn’t have it.”</p><p>“That sounds like something I said about Morrigan before,” Lana said, laughing. Then she shook her head. “Me, the Herald of Andraste.” She scoffed. “Who’d think such a thing?” </p><p>Leliana cleared her throat, looking slightly embarrassed. “About that…”</p><p>Lana whirled on her, irritation evident on her face. “No!” She frowned, watching as her friend squirmed under her gaze. "Leli, you didn’t!”</p><p>“I didn’t start it,” she said quickly. “But when you came out of the rift, people saw a woman reaching out to you- they say it was Andraste herself, guiding you from the Fade.” She shrugged her shoulders and gave Lana an apologetic smile. “It was a good story- I didn’t see it being an issue if we… let it spread.” Lana glared at her, but she continued. “People need something to believe in, Lana- if not this, then what?” She took another bite of her food. “Besides, it’s not like the truth is all that different- after all, you were sent here by a woman from another world to save us all. Who’s to say Sam’s mother is not an incarnation of Andraste.” Leliana paused, then looked at Lana, eyes wide. “You don’t think-“</p><p>“While it wouldn’t surprise me, I find that to be doubtful,” Lana said wearily. “Considering the chaos she caused, I think she’d be willing to tell us that much, at least.” </p><p>“Well, for now, this is the story,” Leliana declared. “We can only use it to further our cause- and seeing as how the truth is so close…” She trailed off, smiling to herself. “I believe we can work with this, Lana.”</p><p>“I do not want to be a false idol,” Lana growled, plucking a cookie from the package she’d opened. “I just want to do my part to save the world.” </p><p>“Maybe they are one and the same… who is to say?” Leliana plucked a cookie from the packet, moaning to herself at the taste of the chocolate on her tongue. “Maker, I had forgotten how wonderful Sam’s sweets were- do you think she’s going to be upset we’ve eaten her treats?” </p><p>“I think she’ll be ok with it,” Lana said confidently. “It’s not like we-“</p><p>Just then, the door flew open, and a wet and snow-covered Sam appeared in the doorway. “Hey, I’m-“ She stopped, then sniffed. “Lana,” she asked cautiously, “What is that smell?”</p><p>Lana shifted to place herself in front of the snacks she had been eating. “Nothing… nothing at all. So,” Lana said, trying to change the subject, “How’s Cullen?"</p><p>Sam narrowed her eyes, taking a look around the cabin. When she spotted the open bag of cookies peeking out from behind her back, she stormed to the bed, grabbing a pillow and hitting Lana in the face with it. “You went into the bag and ate all the snacks, didn’t you?”</p><p>Lana shrugged, and Leliana moved out of the way, realizing long before Lana did that Sam was about to have her head. She gave her sister a sheepish grin. “I just thought-“ </p><p>Sam let out a rage-induced scream. “You greedy fucking goat!” She whacked her again. “I swear-“ <em>Thwack! </em>“You-“ <em>Thwack!</em> “-Are impossible!"</p><p>Laughing, Lana put her hands up, then grinned as she reached behind her back, grabbing the half-empty package and offering it to the angry little girl. “Cookie?” </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>That evening, Lana went to meet with the advisors to plan for the trip. I stayed behind in the cabin, exhausted after replacing all the items Leliana and Lana had eaten and restoring the pillow I’d destroyed to its original state. Trying to recover my energy, I was sketching Josephine in my book when I heard a soft caw from the windowsill. I turned to see Baron Plucky staring at me, a letter around one leg and a small pouch around the other. </p><p>“Hello friend,” I said, removing the items from his legs and reaching in the bag to offer him a cookie. "Thank you for your help, but do you mind taking something back for me?” </p><p><em>I do not</em>, he replied, shocking the shit out of me and causing me to drop the cookie. The bird reached over and picked it up, acting as if he hadn’t just talked to me.<em> Just let me know when you are ready. </em></p><p>I almost fell out of my chair, staring at the bird in amazement. "You can talk?” I asked. “Since when?”</p><p><em>Since always, but no one else seems to understand me</em>, he said. <em>You’ve always been kind, and I owe your mother a great deal. Plus, your treats are delicious, Samantha. </em></p><p>“Um… well, thank you, Baron Plucky,” I said, wincing at the name Leliana had given the bird. “Wait… you don’t mind that we call you that, do you?”</p><p><em>Why would I mind? It is my name- the one they call Nightingale gave it to me years ago.</em> He cocked his head to look at me.<em> Is there something wrong with my moniker?</em></p><p>“No, not at all,” I said hastily. “I just wanted to be sure we were not offending you, that’s all.”</p><p><em>Ah</em>, he said, preening his feathers. I reached over and offered him my glass of water, which he dipped his face into and drank greedily. <em>My thanks again, Samantha.</em></p><p>“You can call me Sam,” I said, looking at the bird in disbelief. I knew I understood more than most, but this bird was something else. “Do you mind waiting for a moment while I send a note to Alistair again?”</p><p><em>As I said before, I do not mind- I’ll just rest by the fire.</em> He fixed me with a beady stare. <em>You wouldn’t happen to have another one of those treats, would you?</em> </p><p>Wordlessly, I reached in the package, offering him another cookie. He hopped over and plucked it from my fingers, then flew over by the fireplace, warming himself by the fire as I unfurled the letter he’d given me. </p><p>—<br/>
<em>Sparrow,</em></p><p>
  <em>Cheesy, huh? I like it- it fits.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hero is there with you? Thanks for the visual- are Curly and Stabby with you too?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Here’s two coins- don’t spend them all in one place. Send my change, please.</em>
</p><p><em>-Cheesy</em><br/>
—<br/>
I laughed at his simple note, then wrote back.</p><p>
  <em>Cheesy,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Here’s your change, you cheap bastard. Let me know when you get it, no matter what time it is. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Also, if you do nothing else in life, be nice to the bird. <span class="u">Trust me on this</span>.</em>
</p><p><em>-Sparrow.</em><br/>
—</p><p>I dropped the parchment in the pouch with the coin and looked over at the sleeping bird. “Baron Plucky? I’m sorry to disturb you-“</p><p><em>It is no trouble,</em> he replied, hopping over to me. <em>It is the reason I am here, after all. </em></p><p>"Here’s my reply,” I said. “May I tie it to your leg or do you wish to carry it?”</p><p><em>I appreciate you asking,</em> he said as he extended his leg,<em> but tying it is fine. It allows me to travel faster. You can tell the blond one that as well.</em></p><p>I nodded seriously, tying the package to his leg. “How long will it take you to get this to him?”</p><p>
  <em>A day, give or take. </em>
</p><p>“Would you like something to take with you?” I asked, gesturing to my food. “I appreciate your help.”</p><p><em>No thank you.</em> He ruffled his feathers, adjusting himself. <em>I’m afraid I must be off now. Have a good evening, Samantha.   </em></p><p>I watched in disbelief as he let out a soft caw, then flew off to deliver my message. Shaking my head, I put the coin in my bra, vowing to find a way to drill a hole in it so I wouldn’t be tempted to spend it. </p><p><em>Welcome back to Ferelden,</em> I thought. <em>At least it won't be boring.</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. How many fucking bears are out here, anyway?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>“So, Sparrow, how’d you convince the hubby to let you out of his sight?” Varric asked as we settled into camp for the night. “After the way Curly was acting when you and Hero knocked yourselves out, it seems like he’d keep you under his thumb at all costs.”</p><p>“Well,” I said, shifting on the ground, “I kinda promised to stick with you, since apparently I’m useless and Cassandra and Solas aren’t here to give a fuck about my safety.”</p><p>“That isn’t true, Samantha,” Cassandra said from the other side of Lana. “I am here to secure the safety of everyone in the party, not just the Herald.” </p><p>“If it’s all the same to you, I’d prefer it if you called me Lana,” Lana replied, reaching in my backpack to eat my M&amp;M’s. I glared at her, but she just smiled and offered me the rest of the bag. “And anyway, he acts as if you’re some delicate flower- I think you’ve gotten much better since we last traveled, Sam.”</p><p>I frowned, tossing a handful of M&amp;M’s in the air and freezing them. “Yeah, because this is so fucking useful,” I grumbled. “I have the same level of effectiveness as ice, Lana.” </p><p>She plucked a candy from the air and popped it in her mouth. “I’d say it’s damn effective, Sam.”</p><p>Cassandra leaned over, eyeing the frozen candy skeptically. “I would have to agree. Also, we cannot forget the raw power of you and your sister together- that is quite handy to have.”</p><p>“You guys could stand to turn it down a little,” Varric said, grabbing a piece of candy and munching on it thoughtfully. “Seems like the only level you two have is extra crispy.”</p><p>I scowled and chucked a piece of candy at the dwarf. “At any rate, I told Cullen I would practice while I’m out here, hence our hover candy,” I said, gesturing to the last few pieces floating in the air. “Too bad we aren’t fighting in the Fade- I’d be amazing then.”</p><p>Solas looked at me curiously. “Why is that?” </p><p>“Because I can manipulate things in the Fade,” I said with a shrug. "Lana called me a dreamer when we first met.”</p><p>He stared at me, his interest piqued. “That is interesting,” he said carefully. “There are not too many dreamers, Samantha.”</p><p>“So she said,” I replied, grabbing the last candy from the air and handing it to him. He took it gingerly before placing it in his mouth, staring at me with amazement as I rewound the bag and placed it back into my satchel. “I barely know anything about the Fade here though- In my world, we have something called the Between. That’s usually what I can control, but when I was with Lana in what you guys call the Fade, I can control that too.” </p><p>“That certainly seems like a dreamer…which is what I am,” he said with a smile. “And I assure you, I am not powerless, Sam.” </p><p>“I’d say not,” I replied. “Not only do you kick major ass, but you also saved my sister, which I appreciate.” I shrugged, tossing a stick on the fire. “If you got any tips on how to not be useless AF, I’d happily accept.”</p><p>“Hmm… we can talk more about that later,” he said, patting my arm as he walked to his tent. “As for now, I’ll be retiring for the night. But thank you for the demonstration and the candy, Samantha.”</p><p>I smiled. “You're welcome, Solas. Good night,” I replied, shifting to reach my sketchbook out of my bag. “You guys can get some sleep- I’ll take first watch.” </p><p>“That isn’t necessary,” Cassandra said. “I’m more than happy to do so. Why not get some sleep?”</p><p>Shrugging, I opened my book to a blank page. “I have to talk to Cullen before it gets too late, so it isn’t a bother. Plus, I want to do some sketching, so I might as well let everyone else get some sleep.”</p><p>“If Sparrow wants to do it, I say let her. In the meanwhile, I’m going to bed.” Varric yawned, then turned to me. “Especially since someone volunteered me as their bodyguard,” he said, bumping against me playfully. “’ Night, Sparrow.”</p><p>“Night, Varric,” I returned. “I’ll be sure to tell the Commander what a bang-up job you’ve been doing so far.”</p><p>“I already know this routine, so I’m going to get some sleep.” Lana got up from her seat and placed a kiss on my cheek. “Goodnight, Sam.” </p><p>“Night, Lana Banana.”</p><p>Soon, we were the only two left, and Cassandra moved to sit next to me. “Are you certain you do not want to get some sleep, Samantha? It truly is no bother- I am used to tasks such as these.”</p><p>I grinned. “Then that makes two of us- this was my job when I traveled with Lana during the Blight. Since I couldn’t sleep here, I had to return home to go to bed anyway- it just made sense for me to stay up as long as possible to let them sleep. It wasn’t bad though- I got a lot of drawing done. Glad I did… kinda nice to have memories of those days now.”</p><p>The seeker looked thoughtful. “Are those in your book?”</p><p>“Yep,” I said, handing it over to her. “I have a bunch of these… well, I used to, anyway. “ I bit my lip, then stared up into the sky. “Glad I got the chance to meet my niece and nephew before I left, at least.”</p><p>“Are they in here?” Cassandra asked, flipping through the pages. I nodded and the seeker paused, looking up at me. “These are quite good, Samantha- the likenesses are quite uncanny.” Suddenly, she let out a gasp and her hand flew to her mouth, trying to suppress a giggle. “Is that-“ </p><p>I leaned over to see what she was looking at, then laughed. “Yep, that’s Cullen when we were younger- he uses my gel to straighten his hair out, you know. This was him and Ali when we were at camp one day. Ali said he had a stick up his butt and he started scowling- I thought it was so adorable that I had to draw it.” I shook my head, laughing at the memory. “My husband and my brother,” I said with a smile. “I miss them both.” </p><p>“Who are they?” Cassandra had turned to a picture of Grace and her kids, and I felt myself tear up at the image. “Is this your other sister?”</p><p>I nodded, trying to will myself not to cry. “Yeah… that’s Grace. The little boy is my nephew, Shaun- he just turned eleven. ” I wiped my nose, then sniffled. “And that chubby ball of red hair and cute is her daughter, Jenny.” I sighed, staring up at the sky. “It was Shaun’s birthday party right before I left- glad I got to go to it, at least.”</p><p>The seeker gave me a softer look than I was used to seeing on her stern face. “Is it hard, knowing you can’t go home?” </p><p>“Yes,” I said quickly. “I love Cullen and Lana, but…” I shrugged, not knowing how to finish the sentence. “I mean, I don’t really feel like I have the right to complain though- I got my sisters back. I never thought I would get the chance to see Lana again outside that sketchbook, so every day we have together is a gift, but I can’t lie- I still miss everyone else there, too.” </p><p>“Maybe once we seal the breach, you two can go home and visit,” she said helpfully. “And if it makes you feel better, I will be happy to work on your physical training while we are here- I am sure the Commander will appreciate you being tutored in multiple techniques to ensure your safety in battle.” Cassandra looked at the book once more, then back to me. “I realize you have to talk to the Commander, but do you mind if I thumb through this a while longer? I find these drawings quite nice to look at.”</p><p>“Sure, have at it,” I said with a smile. “I’m going to go sit over there and give my report.”</p><p>Cassandra let out a soft snort. “That is one way to put it.” </p><p>“Oh, so you are funny under all that armor,” I said with a grin. Her lips twitched up slightly as she dismissed me, returning her attention to my book. Shaking my head, I went to lay in the tent with Lana, who was snoring softly. Grabbing her hand, I called out to Cullen, hoping he was still awake.<em> Are you still awake?</em></p><p><em>Unfortunately- I’m doing requisitions,</em> came the reply. <em>But I’m happy to rest my eyes and talk to you. How are you doing out there?</em></p><p><em>Went better than expected- I’m not dead, Cassandra is looking through my sketchbook, and Solas even spoke to me today.</em> I sighed, staring at Lana.<em> I only hate my life a little bit right now. </em></p><p>I could practically hear him frown. <em>What’s wrong, Sam?</em></p><p><em>I miss you,</em> I said honestly. <em>At home, it was different when we were apart, but here… you’re so close, yet so far. And I’m out here in a strange land, with people who barely like me. </em></p><p><em>You asked to come,</em> he reminded me gently.<em> I would much rather be looking at you sleeping on my cot right now. </em></p><p><em>What difference would it make? You’d still be working,</em> I teased. </p><p><em>Maybe not,</em> he replied. <em>I’d have someone to help me make these decisions faster so I could get into bed with them quicker. </em></p><p><em>I’m going to hold you to that,</em> I said, smiling at the thought. <em>So, I’m going to have a new home when I get back? </em></p><p><em>Of course</em>, he said. Then he paused for a moment, and I realized he was probably talking to someone else. <em>My apologies, love- I was interrupted. But I should probably ask now so I can report to the others in the morning- what is the status of things out there?</em></p><p><em>We’re almost in the Hinterlands,</em> I replied. <em>We should reach camp in the morning and after we meet with them, we’ll seek out Mother Giselle and Dennet. </em></p><p><em>Good. Get some sleep, love,</em> he replied with a yawn. <em>I’ll try and do the same</em>.</p><p><em>I love you,</em> I said, running my finger over my ring. <em>I miss you, Cullen.</em></p><p>
  <em>Maker, I miss and love you more than words can say, so hurry and finish so you can come home to me. </em>
</p><p>I smiled, snuggling in next to Lana and closing my eyes. <em>Will do, Metal Man. </em></p><p>—</p><p>During the middle of the night, I woke up to a voice in my head.<em> Sparrow, you there? </em></p><p>
  <em>Ali! Oh my god, I’ve missed you so much! What happened- why did it take the bird so long to find you? </em>
</p><p><em>I’ve been on the move,</em> he replied quickly. <em>Something is going on with the Wardens and it wasn’t safe for me to stick around one place too long. </em></p><p>I frowned in the darkness. <em>Are you ok now? Should you make your way to us?</em></p><p><em>No</em>, he said. <em>Not until I know more. But I gotta know, Sparrow- is she really there? Is it actually her?</em></p><p><em>It is</em>, I replied. <em>She’s got her locket back, Ali. I don’t know how you did it, but you found her! </em></p><p><em>I can’t say how I did it either</em>, he replied with a chuckle.<em> But I’m glad she’s with you. Maker, I miss her- I want to see her so badly. </em></p><p><em>Why don’t you? Apparently, she’s the Herald of Andraste,</em> I said, rolling my eyes.<em> By the way, we’re also with Leli and Cullen. Well, not right now, but they’re part of the Inquisition, too- seems like the gangs all here… except for you. </em></p><p><em>As soon as it’s safe, I’ll make my way over there. Nothing is going to keep me from that girl and you know it.</em>  He paused. <em>Is there any way I can talk to her, Sparrow? Is she ok? Can I hear her voice at all or see her?</em></p><p><em>Other than being stuck with a glowing hand and fuckload of new responsibilities, she’s fine. But she needs you, Ali, and unless you get here or tell us how to find you, I’m the only one that can talk to you,</em> I replied. <em>Plus, I’m stuck here for good, Ali, and I need you too. </em></p><p><em>I love you both,</em> Alistair said with a sigh.<em> But trust me on this one, Sparrow- it isn’t safe. Don’t come looking for me yet.</em> He paused, thinking for a moment. <em>Promise me. </em></p><p><em>Ali, what happens if she asks me if I’ve heard anything from you?</em> I bit my lip, looking over at the sleeping girl next to me. <em>I can’t lie to her. Come on, talk to me- what’s got you so freaked out?</em> I asked, fingering my coin nervously. <em>What aren’t you telling me? </em></p><p><em>A lot, trust me,</em> he pleaded. <em>Something is going on and I refuse to get you two involved in it. Promise me, Sam.</em></p><p><em>She’s going to ask me to locate you,</em> I told him. <em>Then what am I supposed to do? This woman loves you- you know she’s going to do anything to find you.</em></p><p><em>I know that,</em> he said sadly. <em>And you have no idea how much I want to see her, Sam- but it isn’t safe right now, for her or me! Now promise me or I will not use this charm again- I mean it!</em></p><p><em>Fine, I promise! But Ali,</em> I pleaded, <em>this is the love of your life- you gotta tell her something! </em></p><p><em>Tell her…</em> he paused for a moment, thinking. <em>Tell her that as soon as I can, I’m coming to find her and I’m doing what I should have done years ago, but I love her too much to lose her now- I have to wait. That’s my girl and I crossed the universe to get her back, Sparrow- keep her safe till I get there. But for now, keep this between us- the fewer people who know about me right now, the better. </em></p><p><em>You realize you’re going to have to tell me why,</em> I replied wearily. <em>She’s not going to let this go. And I have to tell Lana and Cullen about this,</em> I reminded him.<em> I’m not going to hide anything from them. But I will respect the not looking for you portion of your request… only because I don’t want you to get hurt. </em></p><p><em>Thank you- you have no idea how much that means to me,</em> he said with relief. <em>Love you, Sparrow- kiss her and tell Lana I love her, please.</em></p><p>I frowned. <em> Love you right back, but I’m not kissing my sister like that- you can handle that when you see her.</em></p><p><em>I suppose I will,</em> he chuckled. <em>Besides if you did, Zevran would pop up out of nowhere and try to join in, so just tell her I love her- even though I won’t be able to talk much, I’ll always let you both know I’m safe every night- that is a promise.</em></p><p><em>Good,</em> I replied. I looked over at the sleeping girl and gently squeezed Lana’s hand. <em>But please, come find us soon as you can- I need my brother, Ali.</em></p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<em>Stabby,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>AngryFace is making me write this in Orlesian, just in case someone gets nosy. Wilbur agreed to help us out after we got rid of a bunch of wolves that were fucking shit up on the farm. If we build him a bunch of watchtowers, he’ll send us all the Mister Ed’s we want. I can see he’ll also do more than that when we build the towers, but he’s fucking stubborn. I hope it’s worth it. Point being, get Wilbur the towers so this can be done… please.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Also tell Curly that someone must want me to bone him on a bearskin rug, cause that’s the only goddamn reason to have this many fucking bears out here. Seriously, I have enough for a new fall collection all made out of bear- you’re welcome. </em>
</p><p><em>We also found Preachy, who sent us running around the place like missionaries. Spreading the good word was fruitful- we have some new people preaching</em> <em> the gospel, and Preachy will be coming to town to talk your goddamn ear off for a change. You’re welcome. The parishioners are now clothed, healthy, and fed, so no one should be knocking on heaven’s door anytime soon. </em></p><p>
  <em>By the way, the locals are crazy AF, yo. The Dementors are still battling with Dumbledore’s Army, but we managed to knock em all out and steal both their houses- ten points to Gryffindor! Don’t worry if you can’t find them- I’ll send you a copy of the Marauder's map, you’ll be fine. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>(Hero is telling me to stop with the nicknames, but I’m having way too much fun, so fuck her.)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Anyway, ask Curly if you need a clue as to what I’m talking about, but when I come home in a bear onesie, I promise, it’s all gonna be worth it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>That’s all I got- I bet no one is gonna let me write the report next time. </em>
</p><p><br/>
<em>-Sparrow </em><br/>
--</p><p><br/>
Cullen felt his face flushing ten shades of scarlet as Leliana read the letter, her mouth twitching with amusement. “So, Curly… care to translate for the rest of us? Or do you require us to procure a bearskin rug first?”</p><p>“It looks like they found Mother Giselle and helped the refugees," he said, ignoring the spymaster. "Not to mention it seems as if they procured some agents for us and sent Mother Giselle on her way to Haven.”</p><p>“That much I gathered,” Leliana said, looking at the letter. “But some of these other names elude me.”</p><p>“Since Mister Ed’s are horses,” Cullen said, thinking a moment, “then Wilbur must be Dennet. The others are the Mages and Templars. She is giving them names from her favorite book- that’s why she said I’d know what she meant. And based on the map she drew, it looks like they captured their strongholds, so there is that, at least.” </p><p>“And the bear onesie?” Josephine asked curiously, looking up from her clipboard. “What is that?”</p><p>“Honestly, I have no idea,” Cullen said, sighing as he ran his hand along the back of his neck. “And I’m not sure I even want to ask.” </p><p><br/>
—</p><p>
  <em>Sparrow,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your language is a bit… unorthodox, but I believe we got the message. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tell Wilbur we will build the towers, and we look forward to welcoming him and his Ed’s to town. We are waiting for Preachy and her parishioners- if you find any more missionaries, send them along, as we can use the help.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And you had to pick this as a code name, didn’t you? If you keep this up, I’m going to remind you why you chose it. </em>
</p><p><br/>
<em>-Stabby</em>
</p><p><br/>
<em>—</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stabby,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Violence never solved anything. Well, unless it’s against a bear, then I fully support it. Did I mention I think we wiped out a gazillion bears here and more of the fuckers keep coming? The parishioners don’t even want them anymore- bears and their by-products are so last season here. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sparrow </em>
</p><p><br/>
<em>—</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sparrow,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stop killing bears and come home. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Curly</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. I haven't the foggiest idea how to find you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lana gets another recruit; Sam learns a new trick</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>I was sitting on the roof and gazing up at the stars when I felt someone settle down next to me. “This is a very interesting place,” Solas said. “Can you tell me about it?”</p><p>“Gah!” I screamed, surprised to see the elf sitting next to me. “Solas! How the hell are you here?” </p><p>He smiled, settling on the blanket next to me. “As I informed you, I am a dreamer. You are right, you are similar, but not quite one. You don’t have a true presence in the Fade, but you can use it.” He stared at me curiously. “This is quite interesting.”</p><p>“For me, this is just a regular dream,” I replied, laying down and staring up at the sky. “Doesn’t feel any different from a normal one, or it didn’t till you came over- when you came over, it changed.” I stared at him, trying to figure things out. “Why is that?”</p><p>“You could tell that it changed?” I nodded, and he looked at me with interest. "That explains a lot,” he remarked. “I was only able to find you after finding your sister. That is quite a useful trick, Samantha- if I cannot find you, demons cannot find you, either.” </p><p>“That a thing? I thought that was only when she went through that Harrowing, or when that demon caught us all. Didn’t know that was an actual hazard out here.” </p><p>“For mages, yes,” he replied. “Demons and spirits reside in the Fade, but it needn’t be a bad thing- you can ward yourself from those who would do you harm, and learn from the ones who have much to teach. I rather enjoy my time in the Fade- I suspect you would as well.”</p><p>“This doesn’t exactly sound fun, Solas. Demons in your dreams?" I shook my head. "Hard pass for me. I mean, I’ve never seen a demon here, and even when I was in the Fade with Lana, I could always see what things actually were, even when she couldn’t.” I scoffed, creating a cookie and munching on it, the concoction just as crumbly and tasty in my mouth as if it were real. “That sucks- mages don’t ever get a break out here, do they?”</p><p>Solas gave me a curious look as I finished my treat. “From your vantage point, I suppose this wouldn’t sound like much fun.” He stood up, offering me his hand. “May I show you something?”</p><p>“I don’t see why not.” I looked at the elf, then took his hand. “Besides, this is the one place I can kick your ass, so I’m perfectly safe.”</p><p>His eyes sparkled with amusement. “You sound very confident for someone who constantly bemoans her lack of power, Samantha.”</p><p>“Well, here I can control things,” I replied with a shrug. “I don’t have that power out there.” We began to walk, and I noticed a shimmering barrier I hadn’t seen before- when I touched it, it wobbled beneath my fingertips before bouncing back into place. “Wait, was that how you got in my dream?"</p><p>“It is. It was only accessible from Solana’s dream, however.” He turned to look at me as we approached the fire in the middle of Haven. "Do you know why that is?” </p><p>“Lana can always call out to me in the Fade,” I replied. “No matter where she is, I can find her, so I guess it makes sense that there would be a… portal to me in her dreams.” I turned to the shimmer, and turned it into a door, picturing a lock, then handing Solas a key. “But it seems like since I know that there are people like you, I should probably take some precautions, huh?” </p><p>“Most curious,” he replied, turning the key over in his hands. “It takes people years to develop the level of control you have over the Fade, Samantha.”  He settled on a log by the fire, then gestured for me to sit across from him. “So why do you think you have no control over it out while you are awake?” </p><p>“Um, because I’m not really a mage- it’s just the closest word to describe what I can do,” I said, creating a cup of hot chocolate and taking a sip, feeling the warmth between my fingertips. “I have power in here- out there, not so much.” I created a cup for the elf and extended it to him, the steam rising from the glass. “Kinda sucks, if you ask me."</p><p>“Why don’t you?” Solas asked as he took the beverage I offered him, staring into the cup and sipping contentedly. “All mages pull power from the fade, and it appears you do the same.” He gestured to my ring. “I can feel the Fade energy thrumming through your ring, Samantha- despite what you think, you have a connection to the Fade now.”</p><p>“Explains how I can dream without going into nothingness,” I replied. “When I came here before, if I fell asleep or passed out, it was an abyss. No light, no sound, nothing- just darkness. Now I can dream, so there is that.” I sighed, sipping my drink. “I do miss being able to travel anywhere, though.”</p><p>“How did you do that?” Solas asked, watching me. When I shrugged, he smiled. “Focus, Samantha- when you traveled before, what did you do?”</p><p>“Well, first I went home,” I replied, popping a marshmallow in my cup. I offered the elf one, but he shook his head so I continued. “Then I thought about the person I wanted to see- as long as I had a clear picture of them in my mind, I could go to them.” </p><p>“And why can’t you do it now? You still have power,” he remarked, gesturing to my ring. “So what is stopping you from traveling?”</p><p>“I could only travel anywhere from the house,” I replied, sipping my drink, then pausing. “But that was also before I had the ring- the ring mirrors the energy I would have at home.”</p><p>“Then I suppose you have your answer, Samantha,” he said with a smile. “I suspect you may want to try it when you wake up- it may go a long way toward easing some concerns of the Commander if he knows you have some means of getting yourself to safety.” </p><p>“Can you do something like that?” I asked. “Can you teleport? Can Lana?”</p><p>“I can use the Fade to cross short distances,” he replied. “I suspect with training that Lana can as well. However, I don’t have the same ability as you to traverse distance- I suspect your origins may have more to do with that.” His eyes twinkled with delight. “However, I think you may be capable of more than you think- would you be willing to try to learn?” </p><p>“You better fucking believe I want to try,” I said with a wide grin. “Hell, Mom can do some of the same stuff Lana can, so who knows? I’m game for anything.”</p><p>“Your mother sounds quite intriguing,” he said, folding his hands. “But that is a story for another time.” Solas smiled, then stood up. “I’m afraid we should be waking up soon, Samantha.”</p><p>“Probably,” I replied. “Thank you for talking with me- I thought you hated me before."</p><p>“Nonsense,” he replied. “You surprised me, that is all- I have not encountered too many that speak fluent Elvish in this day and age, let alone a human.” Solas stared at me for a moment. “You wouldn’t happen to be part elven, would you?”</p><p>“Nope, human as they come,” I replied. “Mom makes sure to tease us about it every chance she gets- apparently we’re just copies of our fathers with pieces of her scattered here and there. I got more than most because my dad comes from a world where there is magic, but our other sister is as human as anything- no powers whatsoever. And sorry about the elvish thing- it’s not done on purpose. I just mirror whatever language someone speaks to me- apparently, I know every language except Dog,” I said with a laugh. </p><p>“That is an interesting ability,” he said with a nod. “At any rate, find me when we return to Haven- I’ll be happy to work with you on your training. I cannot promise anything, but I think I may be able to teach you how to defend yourself a bit more."</p><p>“Anything is better than nothing, Solas," I replied with a cheeky grin. "I’ll do whatever I can to not be a sitting duck out here.”</p><p>“Then get some rest - we can talk when you wake."</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“Sam, Scout Harding said there were reports of seeing Blackwall in this area, right?” Lana looked over to her sister, who was staring off into the distance. This was unlike her, so Lana moved over to her side, away from the others. <em>Sam</em>, she said in her head, <em>talk to me- you seem lost. </em></p><p><em>I am</em>, she admitted. <em>I don’t get it- you decided to find Blackwall, but every time I look, there is no path. Which I don’t get, because people have seen him… what gives? Am I on the fritz or something?</em> She turned to Lana, biting her lip. <em>What about you? I know Ali could always tell if there were other wardens nearby- can you see him? </em></p><p><em>I cannot sense him</em>, Lana admitted. <em>But that doesn’t mean anything- I died, remember? I have no idea what that has done to me- maybe I’ve lost my abilities. I will fully admit my nightmares are gone, but maybe that is just because the archdemon is slain. </em>She looked at Sam and shrugged. <em>Everything is confusing now. </em></p><p>Just then, they heard a man ahead, and the team approached to find a man in Grey Warden armor barking orders to a group of farmers. Lana looked at him curiously- she couldn’t feel any taint coming from him, but it was definitely odd that Sam couldn’t see him at all. “Well,” she said aloud, “It looks as if we’ve found Warden Blackwall.” Then she turned to Sam, who was frowning. <em>Can you see him now? You look pale. </em></p><p>Sam huffed. <em>I'm still not seeing anything when you look for Blackwall, but this guy has a major branch coming off him, so I know he’s important. God, this sucks! What gives?</em> She went into her bag and popped a candy in her mouth. <em>I’m stumped. </em></p><p><em>Be stumped later- we got company.</em> Lana turned to see a group of bandits attacking, and got ready to channel her magic. “Everyone, get ready!"</p><p>Without warning, Sam grabbed her hand. “I gotta get settled- he's making my head hurt. Let’s take these fuckers out… now.” <em>Also, I want Blackwall to know that we are not to be trifled with- I’m tired of everyone underestimating us. Something isn’t right about him, Lana.</em></p><p><em>Duly noted, Sam. </em>She reached out with her magic, incinerating the bandits. She had to admit, they were getting better about focusing their energy- with situations like this, she couldn’t afford to blast everyone in the area, so she had been working with Sam and Solas to find ways to just fire off extremely strong spells to hit a single target. It took much longer, but it was safer, as she didn’t want to be known as the herald who roasted the refugees- she had a feeling that even Josephine couldn’t spin that one for them. </p><p>When the last bandit was slain, they looked at the warden, who was talking to the conscripted troops. When he had dismissed the farmers, he turned to Lana and Sam, giving them a nod of approval. “You are two impressive fighters,” he remarked. “Thank you for your assistance.”</p><p>“Warden Blackwall?” Lana asked, studying the man. He had a kindly and strong face, with ice-blue eyes, wild brown hair and a beard that rivaled Varric’s chest hair. He certainly carried himself like a warden- his sword and shield techniques reminded her of the way Cullen and Alistair used to fight beside her, and they had found him protecting the villagers, as the scouts had said. By all accounts, this was the man they were looking for, so why couldn’t Sam find him? </p><p>“Yes,” he said gruffly. “That would be me. How may I assist you?”</p><p>Cassandra reached out to shake his hand. “We are with the Inquisition- with so many wardens disappearing, we have been searching for answers, and we were wondering if you could help us.” She turned, gesturing to Lana. “I’d like to introduce the Herald of Andraste-“</p><p>“Lana,” she quickly interrupted, shaking his hand. “Just Lana is fine.” She looked at Sam, who was still squinting at the warden. <em>Can you see him yet? </em></p><p><em>No</em>, came the reply. <em>I can see the branches- for all intents and purposes, this man has a connection to you, but when I look for Blackwall, I don’t see a damn thing. </em>She smiled brightly at the man, extending her hand. “And I’m Sam, her sister- pleased to meet you.” When he shook her hand, her eyes widened a fraction, then returned to normal. “You’re pretty fucking badass, Blackwall- care to help us out? The Inquisition could use a guy like you.”</p><p>He looked at Lana for a moment, then smiled. “If you think you can use me, then my sword is available for the Inquisition to use- I’m happy to help the Herald in any way I can.” </p><p><em>There's that damnable title again</em>, Lana thought, but she pushed her ire aside for the time being- right now, she needed allies. If she had to trade on that title to help her get them, then so be it. She looked at her sister. <em>See anything now? </em></p><p>Yes, but… Sam frowned, placing a hand on her hip. <em>It’s weird. I can see him now, but there’s always… I don’t know how to describe it. If I focus on the man in front of me, I can see him- crystal clear, no problem. If I focus on the name… blank. </em></p><p>Lana stared at the man walking with Cassandra. <em>Are his intentions true? Will he fight for us? </em></p><p>Sam nodded. <em>To the last</em>, she said. <em>It’s just… </em>she shook her head. <em>It’s weird, Lana Banana- that’s the best way I can put it. </em></p><p>“You two appear to be deep in conversation, yet neither of you has spoken a word,” Solas remarked quietly, coming up to the two of them. “I notice this is something you do quite often.” He turned to Sam. “Are you able to read minds, Samantha?”</p><p>“Nope,” she said, grabbing a piece of candy and wincing- the man ahead of them must be making her head hurt. “Just able to talk to Lana and Cullen like this- Mom helped me make charms to talk to people here from wherever I was… In our world, we have instant communication devices-“</p><p>“Cellular phones!” Lana said excitedly, remembering the device that was still nestled in her coat pocket back at Haven- she’d have to ask Sam about it when they returned. “I remember those!” </p><p>“I keep forgetting you know some of this now,” Sam said with a grin. “But yeah, we called them cell phones. These charms are kinda like that, but they cost a whole lot for me to make. I’ve only ever made two of them.” Lana almost corrected her- Ali had been in contact with her, so she knew that there was a third charm out there. But it wasn’t like Sam to lie, so Lana kept quiet- her sister must have a reason for her statement. “So with those, we can talk in our heads. It’s pretty convenient.”</p><p>“You should show me how to make these sometime,” Solas said. “These could be useful.” </p><p>“I wish I could,” Sam lied.  “Mom is the one who helped me do it, and I’m stuck here.” She looked at Lana and smiled. “At least I’m stuck here with her, though- life without her wasn’t the same.” Lana was amazed at the way the lies were rolling off her tongue- she decided that they would have words when they got back to Haven about what was going on. </p><p>“Life without the ones we love never is,” the elf agreed. “But Sam, I think you should try your traveling since we have some time. I would like to watch and determine how it works- if it does, I would like to ask you some questions about your experience, if I may. And your sister and I would be nearby to offer assistance, should you need it.”</p><p>“Um, hate to break it to you, Chuckles,” Varric said from behind them where he’d been watching quietly. “But it’s my ass on the line if anything happens to Sparrow out here, so I’d prefer she wait until after I’m off duty, thank you very much.” </p><p>“I’ll be fine, Varric,” Sam replied, leaning over to hug the dwarf. “Mom usually does this with doors, because it freaks people out less, but maybe I can…” She trailed off, then brightened. “That’s it! I can do it!”</p><p>“Not that I’m not enthusiastic at your potential new ability,” Lana said carefully, “but what makes you so certain all of a sudden? Previously you couldn’t do it- what’s changed?”</p><p>“Because of this,” she said excitedly, pointing to her hair- Lana couldn't understand what she was pointing at, but whatever it was seemed important to her. “Mom made me take it with me!” </p><p>Lana stared at her sister in confusion- she knew that Sam did things she wasn't quite sure of at times, but there was usually a point. This time, Lana could find no discernible reason for her excitement. “Your hair wrap? I’m afraid I don’t understand, Sam.” </p><p>“It’s my traveling charm,” she insisted, looking at Lana as if she should know what she was talking about. “It only works when I travel! So, if I couldn’t travel when I was here…”</p><p>“Mom wouldn’t have made you take it,” Lana finished, finally nodding with understanding. “For the love of the Maker," she said, rolling her eyes, "will that woman ever just flat out tell us anything?” </p><p>“Probably not,” Sam agreed, running her fingers in her hair. “I think the world would end.”</p><p>“Well, it almost did end and she still was as cryptic as ever, so I have my doubts,” Lana said with a grin. “So go ahead, sister- try it out.”</p><p>“Or don’t,” Varric replied, looking back and forth between the two girls with trepidation. “You know, to save your friend a small heart attack and all- I like my head where it is, Sparrow.” When he looked over and saw Sam bouncing from foot to foot with excitement, he let out a weary sigh. "You're going to do it anyway, aren't you?" Sam grinned and he shook his head. "You Amell's are nothing but trouble. I swear, it must be genetic."</p><p>“I’ll let Lana know the moment I arrive,” Sam promised, hugging the dwarf, who grumbled but accepted the hug. “And thank you, Solas- if this works, you don’t know how much better I’ll feel.” </p><p>“Hold off on your thanks until we know what happens,” he advised. “Then after that, I expect an academic conversation on your travels, dear Samantha.”</p><p>“Sure thing- I'll bring the snacks and you can pick my brain. But you have to call me Sam, you stodgy old elf,” she replied, leaning over to hug him. “All right,” she said, rubbing her hands together. “Wish me luck!"</p><p>And with that, Sam closed her eyes, her form fading away as if she’d never existed. </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>While Lana and Sam were in the field, Cullen was training with the soldiers, trying very hard not to think about the danger his wife and sister-in-law were putting themselves into. </p><p>Despite their protests, Lana and Sam were seen as the new hope of the people and they were reaping the benefits- Cullen just hoped that they all proved themselves worthy. Stories of the Herald and the Savior constantly buzzed around the camps, each tale more fanciful than the last. Cullen had found himself working hard not to roll his eyes when one recruit said that the women had descended from the heavens to smite their enemies. In reality, Sam and Lana had fallen off a hill running from a bear and landed smack dab in the middle of a demon attack- luckily Sam had rewound time so the two hapless women managed to remain upright and not break their necks. If they had seen his wife retching her stomach contents up after the battle, the villagers may have had slightly different opinions on the event, but as it was, tales of their heroism were spreading far and wide. In the end, it didn't matter- whether the stories were true or not, it didn't change the fact that more and more refugees and recruits had found their way to Haven, eager to do their part.</p><p>So it didn’t surprise him that much to hear that a representative from Bull’s Chargers had come by, looking to speak with the Herald. Cullen had heard of them, and he knew they were expensive. Ordinarily, he would balk at recruiting a band of mercenaries, but seeing the level of some of his recruits, he knew they couldn’t turn down the help, no matter the form. Hell, he had a recruit that had almost blinded his sparring partner by tripping over his own feet- he’d moved the lad to message duty after that. <em>This is war,</em> he thought. <em>The Maker’s blessings come in many ways- best not to think too hard about it. </em></p><p>Sighing as he looked over the recruits, he felt something he thought was a hand brush the back of his neck. Instinctively he grabbed it, only to be greeted with a surprised yelp. “Ok, note to self, never surprise you!” </p><p>He whirled around, eyes wide with shock. “Sam?” He dropped her hand instantly, looking her up and down. “How are you here? Where’s Lana?”</p><p>She put her hands on her hips, smirking at him. “They’re still on their way back. <em>I</em>-“ She pointed to herself proudly, “was able to travel back here! I can travel using the Fade, Cullen! It’s friggin’ awesome!” She looked down at her ring, noticing the color of the stone that told her how much energy she had left. “And at least at this distance, it doesn’t drain me too much.”</p><p>Cullen felt like his head was being pulled in twenty directions at once so he paused, staring at her to collect his thoughts. From behind him, he could hear whispers of ’the savior appeared!’ and ’see, I told you they can fly!’. Knowing that the camp would be buzzing about her sudden arrival for weeks to come, the commander shook his head. “Come with me,” he said finally. “Recruits, continue your drills!” Some tried to surreptitiously sneak a glance back at Sam, but a glare from Cullen was more than enough to get them to focus their attention elsewhere.</p><p>Sam looked at him strangely as he led her to his tent in silence. Once she entered, he closed the flap behind her, pulling her close and kissing her so hard he knew he was probably bruising her lips beneath his. When he finally had to come up for air, Cullen pressed his wife to his chest and stroked her hair, trying to reassure himself that she was real beneath his fingertips. “Maker, Sam, I can't believe you're here."</p><p>"You better believe it, Metal Man," Sam chided, looking up at him with teasing eyes. "I did travel all this way to see you, you know."</p><p>Cullen kissed her again, cupping her face in his hands. "I thought you were a dream,” he whispered.</p><p>“When I had the chance to test this, I knew there was no place else I wanted to be,” she murmured, clutching his waist. “Like I told you before…  I’ll always find my way back to you.” </p><p>“So you did,” he murmured, placing a kiss on the top of her head. “And here you are."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. There's no place like home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sam gets homesick and finds a friend; Leliana gets Cullen a present</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>OMG, we are over 200 hits so far on this one and A Dream Across the Universe is over 1K! I'm so excited to see people stopping by this DAI romp with these characters I love so much! </p><p>To celebrate hitting over 500K words in AO3 since September 2019, here's a bonus chapter- have an awesome day!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>When Sam disappeared, Varric looked at the others, a surprised look on his face. <em>You’d think I’d be used to this by now</em>, he thought. “So, Herald,” he said, clearing his throat, “am I dead when I get back or what?”</p><p>“Call me Lana or I’m going to shave your chest while you sleep, Varric,” she chided, poking a finger at him. “And give me a moment and I’ll let you know.” She closed her eyes and paused for a minute, then smiled. “She’s there, and she just got snapped at for sneaking up on the Commander. We’re fine.”</p><p>“That girl is going to be the death of us,” the dwarf grumbled. “How you two do it is beyond me.”</p><p>Lana laughed, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Seems to me that you’ve had more practice dealing with us than most, Varric. I hear that my cousin is the Champion of Kirkwall - Did he and Sam get into shenanigans while I was away?”</p><p>“More than a few and yet not as many as you would think,” Varric replied with a smile, remembering the evenings they had all spent together. "She made herself a part of the Kirkwall crew.”</p><p>“That’s Sam,” Lana said with a laugh as she stared at Solas, Cassandra, and Blackwall. “Kinda nice talking to someone who doesn’t just know us as the Herald and Savior.”</p><p>“Yeah, just the sparrow and the dead girl,” Varric said wryly, looking over to gauge her reaction. He wondered how far her sense of humor stretched, and he hadn’t had many opportunities to test it. “She missed you, kid.” </p><p>“I can only imagine,” Lana said quietly. “But I’m happy she had Hawke and Cullen, at least.”</p><p>“Yeah, Hawke is... a presence,” Varric said, choosing his words carefully. “Though I think you two would’ve gotten along famously, seeing as how you haven’t murdered your sister yet.”</p><p>“There’s so much I’ve missed out on,” Lana replied sadly. “I feel like I’m always just a little out of step with the rest of the world.” </p><p>Varric noticed the look on her face- it was so similar to the one he’d seen on his friend just before they left Kirkwall. It was that look of doing something you don’t want to, but you have to because it’s the right thing to do. He hated seeing it on yet another face that shouldn’t have to bear that burden, so he smiled at the girl and reached in his bag for a book. “I know it’s not a great substitute for living it, but here’s a copy of ‘Tales of the Champion’- at least you can get some idea as to what went on in Kirkwall while you were... napping.” </p><p>“Appreciate the offer, Varric- thank you.” She smiled as she took the book from him. “I’m curious- how much of this is true?” </p><p>“I’ve omitted some details,” Varric said with a shrug. “And names have been changed to protect a few birds, but if you have any questions, feel free to ask the author- I hear he’s pretty open to answering questions for fans.”</p><p>“Perks of knowing the author,” Lana agreed. “At least you’re treating me like a person, Varric- I appreciate that. If I didn’t have you and Sam right now....” she let out a sigh, then smoothed her hair back. “I think I may have lost my mind by now from all this Herald nonsense.” </p><p>“Hey, I’m more than happy to keep you grounded,” he said. “But I gotta give you a nickname.”</p><p>“You didn’t give Sam one,” Lana said with a grin. “Ali gave her that name.” </p><p>“I had to give credit where it was due,” he said with a shrug. “It fit, so I kept it.” Varric looked at her critically, putting a finger to his lips in thought. “What shall we call you?”</p><p>“I promise, Lana is fine,” she said with a grin. “I’m not one for titles.”</p><p>“Personally, I’m partial to Hero,” Varric said. “Not too many other good options for someone who comes back from the dead to save the world from itself. And I have to tell you, you should be a little proud of that, kid.”</p><p>“Sort of hard to be proud of it when you didn’t do anything,” Lana said with a frown. “All I did was die- Mom sent me back, and I don’t have the foggiest how I got this mark on my hand. I’m just a lucky bastard with a penchant for sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.”</p><p>“Stop selling yourself short, Hero,” Varric said sharply. “There aren’t too many people out there that are going to give their lives so the world can live, and they damn sure aren’t willing to do it a second time. You Amell kids are something else, you know that?” </p><p>“Must be a family trait,” she said with a smile. “Come on, let’s get on with it so we can get back to Haven- I hate to see what kind of trouble Sam is creating without us.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“Welcome back, Sam,” Leliana said as I entered her tent. “Is Lana with you? I didn’t hear them signal your return.”</p><p>“No, just me,” I answered. “I learned a new trick,” I said excitedly. “Looks like I can still travel without heading home first. Gotta keep testing it out, but I know it’s possible, at least.” </p><p>Leliana gave me a look of interest. “That could be useful.”</p><p>“Yeah, in getting me out of a fight or sending a message,” I said, staring at my friend. “I’m not a fighter, remember?”</p><p>“But this can be used, Sam,” she said excitedly. “We can train you and take advantage of your talents here, but if Lana needs your assistance, then you could travel to her- it is a win for the Commander and you.” She looked at me critically. “You are one of our most valuable assets, but you are woefully undertrained to be in the field, Sam- I agree with your husband’s assessment on this one, though you nor Lana wish to hear it.”</p><p>I crossed my arms. “And what if I want to go out with her?” </p><p>“There will be times we need to send you,” Leliana replied. “But you can return home and tell us what is going on, or get messages and supplies to Lana, all while training to be a better fighter.”</p><p>“You know I can’t go home, Leli,” I said sadly, feeling my heart shatter with every word. “I’m lucky I can get back here.”</p><p>Her face fell when she realized what she had said. “My apologies, Sam- I only meant-“</p><p>“Save it,” I said sadly, walking out of her tent. “It’s not your problem, anyway.”<br/>
—<br/>
Desperate to clear my head and trying to avoid people, I traveled into Cullen’s tent and grabbed my bag. My first thought was to head back out to Lana and the others, but I discovered that just as suspected, I was draining the magic in my ring- I needed to rest. After Leliana had rattled me, I didn’t want to talk to anyone here, so I set out to find a spot where I wouldn’t be bothered until they came back. However, that was proving harder than I thought, since the village was bustling since I had been here last- there were so many refugees here now that there was constantly someone underfoot. Thankfully, people didn’t seem to notice me as I walked through the town- the last thing I wanted was for someone to stop me and heap on some misguided praise that was better left for Lana. The constant spotlight shining on me was emotionally draining, as I wasn’t used to the attention. I’d spent my whole life happily hiding in the background, and having people wanting something from me at every turn was making me want to scream inside my head. </p><p>Right now, I would sell my very soul to be able to travel home- not here, but back to my own room, where I could run downstairs and talk to my dad, or sit on my roof and stare at the sky, or where I could pop off and visit my sister and play with my niece and nephew. I wanted to curl up in my pajamas and snuggle up in my bed with my sketchbook and a cup of hot chocolate, not out here dodging crazy mages and Templars with green tears in the sky. I loved Lana and Cullen to death, but Leliana’s off-hand comment had only served to make me even more homesick than I already was. No matter what anyone else thought, this was <em>not</em> my home. </p><p>Thankfully, I was able to find an old cabin in the woods and went inside, happy to be as far away from the hustle and bustle of Thedas for a moment.  Sighing and not giving a fuck about propriety, I went into my bag and grabbed out my wipes, stripping off my clothes and cleaning up as best as I could. I put on clean underwear and my pajamas, then put on my coat and sneakers- since I couldn’t go home, I was bringing as much of my home as possible to me, and everyone else could go to hell if they didn’t like it.</p><p>I was really cold in the cabin, so I snuck outside and grabbed some wood and started a fire, happy that I still had a lighter with me. After a few minutes and some false starts, the fire began to crackle around me and I sighed, pulling out my sketchbook and my headphones from the bag as I sat down, trying to relax and get warm. In the back of my mind, I could hear Cullen calling out to me, but I ignored it - I couldn't deal with any of them right now. </p><p>Untangling the cord, I thought back to when Grace had told me how awesome having her music back was for her. Initially, I had laughed, but now I got what she meant- music was a connection to the life she had before, and sometimes even that small bit of home was enough. Right now, I would take what I could get, and if that meant curling up in pajamas and a sweatshirt and blasting sad songs like I was getting over a breakup, then that's what I would do. I supposed my reaction was accurate since technically I was breaking up with my old life- I needed time to grieve. </p><p>After a few hours, I was lost in my art and the music, just like I would have been doing on any random weekend at home before my adventures in Thedas. I had sketched the warden, hoping to eliminate some of the pain from being around him and had reached a comfortable state of numbness- I wasn't quite at the level of acceptance, but tolerance. With all the crazy going on, I just needed a minute where I could just be. I didn’t want to be the Savior, the informant, the translator, the sister, the wife, or the traveler- I just wanted to be Sam. With music in my ears and my colored pencils scattered around me on the floor, I could almost believe I was in my room again.</p><p>Suddenly, just when I was in the middle of vocally murdering yet another track from the Hamilton soundtrack, I heard another voice in my head.<em> Sparrow, you there? </em></p><p>I sighed- I didn’t want to talk to anyone, but I so rarely got a chance to talk to Ali that I paused my music to speak to him. <em>’Sup, Ali. </em></p><p>The smile in his voice was evident. <em>I take it Lana isn’t with you, or this conversation would be going a lot differently by now. </em></p><p><em>Nope, just me</em>, I replied quietly. <em>No one here but us sparrows</em>, I joked lightly.</p><p>He paused. <em>You don’t sound like yourself right now. What’s wrong, Sam? </em></p><p><em>Just a little sad,</em> I replied, hoping to change the subject. <em>I’m more concerned about you. </em></p><p>For all his faults, Alistair was never the type to let me slide with a non-answer- I could feel him groaning at my attempts at evasion. <em>Nope, not going to work, Sparrow,</em> Alistair admonished. <em>I’ve known you for eleven years- you can’t push me off that easily, Sam. So go ahead, tell me what’s wrong. </em></p><p><em>We can talk about what’s wrong with me when I see you</em>, I replied, hoping he’d let it go. <em> By the way, I can come to you now- I learned how to travel again.</em></p><p>Alistair paused. <em>Got any food? Being on the run isn’t my favorite diet plan, and I think Dog is worried I might eat him.</em></p><p><em>I do</em>, I replied. <em>Got a whole pack of hot dogs and some cookies, and even some cheese and crackers. Gonna be great when your ass finally shows up. </em></p><p><em>Think you can come by?</em> Alistair asked. His tone was hopeful, and I realized that the warden was just as sad as I was, if not more. I had no idea what he was dealing with, though I suspected it was a bit more than a random case of homesickness. <em>Not just for the food, though you should definitely bring it. I miss Lana and I miss you, Sam. </em></p><p><em>You know what,</em> I said as I gathered my pencils and put on my coat, dumping dirt on the fire to put it out. <em> I miss you too, Ali, so fuck it- I’m heading over there. </em></p><p><em>Great,</em> he said happily.<em> What do you need? </em></p><p>“Just you,” I said aloud as I arrived in the clearing where he had pitched a small tent. Dog lay at his feet, looking up with interest when I approached. “Hey, boy,” I said, scratching him behind the ears. “I missed you!” Dog gave a happy bark and I sat down next to him, giggling as he planted doggie kisses all over my face. “Hey, I thought you were a proud war hound- isn’t this behavior beneath you?"</p><p>The warden was sitting in front of the fire and smiled at me. “Not amongst friends,” he replied with a smile. “C’mere you,” he said, extending his arms and pulling me into a warm hug. “I missed you, Sparrow.”</p><p>“Missed you too, Ali,” I mumbled, feeling tears prickle behind my eyes. “You have no idea how much.”</p><p>“I think I might,” Alistair replied, kissing the top of my head. “Sit down, stay a spell.” He eyed my backpack, then grinned. “Break out the hot dogs- we can have dinner.”</p><p>“Though I am not a fan of these, I can get down with that,” I replied as I opened the hot dogs and prepared a stick. “I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve seen you.” </p><p>“It hasn’t been all that long,” he said, rummaging through my bag. When he found the crackers and the block of cheese, he let out a moan of pleasure. “Maker, you are a lifesaver, Sam. I’m running out of ways to cook a rabbit out here.”</p><p>“That implies you could cook one in the first place,” I teased, handing him the charred hot dogs. He plucked one off the stick and burned his hands, promptly hissing and dropping the meat. Dog gave a happy yip and raced over, inhaling the fallen food in one bite. “Looks like you haven’t learned to be patient, either,” I remarked, waving my hand over the package of hot dogs to restore it. </p><p>“And it looks like you learned some new tricks,” he replied, gesturing to the meat. “You looked like your mom right then.” </p><p>“I forgot you saw that,” I said as I plucked a hot dog off the stick and began nibbling on it. Then I looked down at my ring and got a sheepish grin. “Um, I might have a problem, Ali.” </p><p>He looked up, mouth full of cheese and crackers. “What’s that, Sparrow?”</p><p>“I hope you got room in that tent for two, cause I gotta take a nap before I go back home.” I showed him my ring, which was almost black. “Not gonna be able to travel back until I do.” </p><p>“Well, I’ve been told I’m pretty comfy, so feel free to snuggle up,” he said, hugging me. I sat down, leaning against him as he wrapped his arms around me. “So, do we get to stay up all night and braid each other’s hair?”</p><p>“Grow enough hair and I might consider it,” I said, poking him in the ribs. “But you can start by telling me what’s been going on with you.”</p><p>“You first,” he replied, placing another row of hot dogs on the stick and holding them over the fire. “Don’t worry, I’ll tell you everything- we’ve got nothing but time, Sparrow.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“Welcome back… Herald,” Cullen said in a teasing tone. “I trust your travels went well?”</p><p>“They did,” Lana replied, gesturing to the man behind her. “This is warden Blackwall… he has agreed to join the Inquisition.”  She looked behind Cullen, then turned to him with a curious expression on her face. “Where is Sam? I thought she’d still be joined at your hip.”</p><p>Cullen felt his stomach drop at Lana’s words. “You mean she didn’t go back to be with you?” He’d been looking for Sam in the hopes of sharing supper with her, but he’d had no luck in finding her around town. At first, when he couldn’t reach her, he’d thought she was napping in the cabin she’d shared with Lana. However, when he noticed her bag was gone from his tent, he’d assumed she’d gone back out into the field for some reason or another. </p><p>“No…” Lana said slowly. “Was that something she was set to do? I’ve been trying to reach her all day- I thought she was off with you somewhere and doing something indecent.” </p><p>“I wish,” Cullen growled.  “I know you’re tired and you’ve only just arrived, but can you see if you can reach her? I’m going to check with Leli… she seems to know everything around here, so she should be able to point us in the right direction.” </p><p>Lana nodded and headed off to her cabin while Cullen set off to find the spymaster. As usual, she was at her tent and giving Baron Plucky his evening meal. “Hello, Leli,” he said, then remembering what Sam had mentioned to him about the raven, he nodded his head at the bird. “Good evening, Baron Plucky.” </p><p>The raven looked at him and let out a soft caw, which made the redhead smile. “Good evening to you, Commander,” she said lightly. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” </p><p>Ordinarily, he’d offer pleasantries, but right now he was too worried- if she wasn’t with Lana, that meant no one had seen Sam since mid-morning.  “Do you know where my wife is?”</p><p>“The last time my scouts saw her, she was in the old healer’s cabin,” Leliana said. “If you don’t mind, I would like to go with you to check on her- I’m afraid I may have accidentally upset her this afternoon.” </p><p>He fought to keep the venom out of his words. “How did that happen?” </p><p>Leliana sighed. “I implied that this was her home, but it appears that she does not share that sentiment yet.”</p><p>“I don’t understand- what you said was true.” Cullen frowned. “Why would this upset her so much?”</p><p>“I think,” Leliana said carefully, “that she still thinks of this as separate. She misses her family, it seems.”</p><p>“She has myself and Lana,” Cullen said firmly. “Not to mention you and Varric.” He shook his head. “I don’t understand- she’s got family here, too.” Cullen let out a sigh, then looked over at the spymaster as they headed to the cabin. “What am I going to have to do to prove to her that we have a home here, together?”</p><p>“I’m not quite sure,” Leliana replied. “I simply tried to tell her that with her new ability she could train here and go with Lana as needed,” Leliana said, approaching the door to the cabin. “I suppose my intent was misconstrued.” She frowned as she looked inside. “That’s odd,” she said softly.</p><p>Cullen pushed his way into the room, taking note of the darkened cabin. “I thought you said she was here?”</p><p>The spymaster frowned, then went to the fireplace. “She was,” she replied. “These embers are still warm. Plus, look at the bed- the blankets are rumpled, and there are her old clothes in the corner. It looks as if she changed and left.”</p><p>“Where would she go?” Cullen asked, trying to fight the rising panic in his voice.  “Would she try and return home?” </p><p>“Before we panic,” Leliana said in a measured tone, “we should talk with Lana- she may have found her and all this worry would be for naught.” </p><p>“Agreed,” Cullen said as they left the cabin and headed back to Lana. He tried again to reach her, but he was once again met with no response. “Maker help me, I am going to have words with that woman when we find her,” he growled. “Why would she go off like that without telling one of us? Does she not realize how much worry she’s causing right now?”</p><p>“I’d suspect the thought hasn’t crossed her mind,” Lana interjected from behind him. “She let me know she was back, but she didn’t say anything else.” Lana let out a sigh, then looked at Cullen. “There’s only one other person in this world she’d leave the three of us for.”</p><p>“Alistair,” he growled. “She found him.” </p><p>Lana nodded. “It’s my best guess. She’s been feeling a bit out of sorts lately- maybe she sought him out?”</p><p>“She’s my wife,” Cullen said, crossing his arms. “If something is bothering her, she should be talking to me. Or you, Lana- you’re her sister.” </p><p>“While I agree,” Lana said, “I haven’t exactly been available lately, and I suspect you were busy today as well. Be honest,” she asked, staring at her two friends, "how long did it take for us to even notice that she was gone?” </p><p>Cullen felt ashamed to admit the answer, and he could tell that Leli felt similarly. “I suppose you’re right, but this doesn’t help us now,” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “So what do we do?”</p><p>“We keep trying to reach her,” Lana said. “And when we get ahold of Sam, we simply spend some time with her. Let’s give her a moment that’s like the ones we used to share in camp together. No blight, no fighting- just friends, chatting.” She smiled sheepishly. “I could use it as well, and I suspect you two could also benefit from it. We are more than our titles,” Lana said as she stared at each of them in turn. “We’d all do well to remember that."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>As I was coming to with a crick in my neck from sleeping against Ali, I felt a prickle in my head. <em>Sam, please tell me you haven’t been kidnapped by ruffians and you’re just with Ali- if not, I need to know who to come and blow up. </em></p><p>I smiled. <em>Sorry, Lana Banana, I went to see Ali- we were both really lonely. It just happened to work out where we were both in a place we could visit each other for a little while. He also ate damn near everything in my bag, Lana. I wasn’t trying to worry you, but I had to take a nap to recharge my ring- I was out of power. </em></p><p><em>You should’ve told one of us you left,</em> Lana admonished, then softened. <em>How’s Ali?</em></p><p><em>Missing you,</em> I replied. <em>Seems like the wardens have gone a bit crazy lately- he’s been on the run. He didn’t want us involved in it.</em></p><p><em>I want to help,</em> she said quickly.<em> What can we do? </em></p><p><em>Nothing right now, I’m afraid.</em> Then I looked over at Ali and remembered what we’d talked about. <em>Wait, there is something! He said most of the wardens have been hearing the Calling. Are you hearing anything like that?</em></p><p><em>No</em>, she said, sounding confused. <em>Why would he? I thought that wasn’t for another thirty years or so.</em> Then she paused, and I could hear the tension in her voice. <em>Is he hearing it?</em></p><p><em>That’s the thing,</em> I said quickly, hoping to ease some of her anxiety. <em>He was until he got my charm. The moment he got it, he said the calling stopped. So that means its a fake, right?</em></p><p><em>I’d think so, yes.</em> Lana said with relief. <em>Maker, I want to see him. </em></p><p><em>I’ve got something for you,</em> I said with a smile. <em>I had to blow his mind to get it and I’m pretty sure I just fucked up the cosmic order by doing it, but you’re worth it, Lana Banana. </em></p><p><em>Well come home and give it to me, and go find your husband so he can stop pacing around here like a lost lamb,</em> Lana chided. <em>Tell Ali I love him, but he has to give me back my sister now. </em></p><p><em>Be back shortly,</em> I promised.<em> Just let me clean up our food and I’ll be on my way. </em></p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>As he waited for Lana to locate her sister, he tried to focus on work, but between the anxiety of not knowing what was happening and the blinding headache, it wasn’t going well.  He’d been staring at the same document for the last fifteen minutes, and he let out an exasperated sigh as he began to pace the floor. </p><p>“Is that helping?” A soft voice came from the entrance of his tent. “If not, I may have something that will.” </p><p>He looked up to see the spymaster, smiling at him. “Has Lana found her?” </p><p>“Yes, but I would like to speak with you first, if I may,” Leliana said. “Can you walk with me?”</p><p>While he wanted nothing more than to take off at a sprint toward Lana’s cabin, he forced himself to walk behind his friend, his curiosity almost as strong as his need to make sure his wife was ok. “Why are we here?” Cullen asked, noticing that they were at the cabin once again. “Is Sam inside?”</p><p>“Your tent is too small for two people,” Leliana said simply. “I talked to Josephine and since Sam has rightly noticed that this building was empty, we decided that our Commander and his wife could stand to have a place of their own while in our service. A home,” she said pointedly. “Maybe knowing that she has somewhere to always come back to will help with the loneliness, Cullen.” She handed him the key and he smiled, grateful for her thoughtfulness, though he knew that there was a hidden benefit for her in here somewhere. “We set it up while you were busy wearing a hole in your floor.”</p><p>“What’s in this for you,” he blurted out before he could stop himself. Embarrassed at his gaffe, he closed his eyes and hoped she would just kill him quickly, but there was no such luck- when he opened his eyes, she was looking at him, her eyes bright with laughter. The Commander swallowed, hoping there was a way to salvage a portion of his pride. “I apologize, I meant no disrespect- I only meant-“</p><p>“It’s a valid question, Commander,” Leliana said, laughing. “And to answer it, if Sam has a place where she feels comfortable, we can keep her here to train while Lana goes out and handles things- right now she’s so unskilled that she’s as much a liability as she is a help,” the spymaster said resolutely. "She can do more good here, but the only place she feels comfortable is with Lana- I think that is your fault, Cullen.” </p><p>“My fault?” Cullen spluttered. “How is this my fault?”</p><p>“If you’re her husband and she doesn’t feel at home with you, I would say you’ve done something wrong. Particularly since you’ve been married for ten years,” she reminded him. “Remind your wife that she has a home in this world, and it’s here with you.”</p><p>Thoroughly chastised, Cullen just opened and closed his mouth, trying to find something, anything, to refute what she was saying. However, he couldn’t, and he let out a soft sigh. “I’m a terrible husband,” he said softly, staring around the room. “It should not have taken you and Josephine to do this for us.”</p><p>“Does it matter how it got done?” Leliana said with a smile. “Just take advantage of the opportunity. But,” she admonished, fixing him with a serious stare. “As Lana told us earlier, remember to take a moment to stop being the Commander and just be Cullen now and again- remind her why she fell in love with you in the first place."</p><p>--</p><p>Cullen was waiting in the stool in Lana’s cabin, watching as Lana had a wordless conversation with his wife. He tried to be relieved that they had located her, but he found himself twisting in knots- he couldn’t help but think that she wasn’t going to come back, that something was going to go wrong, and he wouldn’t get the chance to hold her again. <em>I’ve finally gotten the chance to build a life with her</em>, he thought. <em>I can’t lose her now. </em></p><p>Suddenly, Lana looked up, her eyes full of tears- Cullen instantly snapped to attention. “Lana, what’s wrong?”</p><p>“Ali,” she said, wiping her eyes with her hand. “There’s something wrong with the wardens. There’s a false calling… Sam’s charm saved him, but what would have happened if she hadn’t made it? What would he have done?”</p><p>“Thankfully, that is a problem we no longer have to worry about,” Cullen said, trying to ease her mind. “For now, let us focus on more pressing things."</p><p>“True,” Lana agreed, then sighed. "I have to admit, I’m happy she can give me a message from him, but I’m jealous, Cullen- she can see the love of my life and I can’t.” She blew out a deep breath, then flopped back on the bed. “What does that say about me?”</p><p>He smiled, sitting down next to her. “That you’re human. I must admit, I’m a bit jealous that she turned to Alistair for comfort before coming to us.” He sighed, then flopped back with her, staring up at the ceiling and folding his arms behind his head. “We seem to be doing a great job of things this time around, don’t you think?”</p><p>Lana let out a snort, turning her head to look at him. “Bang-up job, I’d say.”</p><p>“Leliana gave me a house,” Cullen admitted. “We have a home here… together.”</p><p>Her eyes opened wide. “That’s amazing! Sam is going to be overjoyed!” Then she looked at him, her eyes serious. “Despite what you and Leli may think, I do need her out there, Cullen.” He looked away, but Lana continued, placing a hand on his arm as she stared at him. “She’s always been there for me… I can’t do this without her. I need her with me.”</p><p>He swallowed, then turned to look at Lana. “But I need her too, Lana. Do you know how much it tears me up to see her go off with you, knowing she isn’t ready for this?” He turned to look her in the eye, making sure she heard every word. “You want me to send my wife off to face any number of dangers, knowing full well she isn’t prepared for any of it?”</p><p>“We weren’t prepared ten years ago, Cullen, and she fought with me then,” Lana said softly, looking up at the ceiling. “I want to protect her at all costs too, but this is the same girl who took on a horde of the undead to make sure her friends stayed safe when she barely knew how to hold a dagger. She’s never let us down, Cullen- I don’t think she’ll start now.” She turned to him, then grabbed his hand, forcing him to focus on her words and still his anxious breathing. “The world isn’t fair, Cullen- we both know that. But you have to know that no matter what, I’m always going to do whatever I can to make sure she comes back to you. That, Commander, is a promise.” </p><p>He closed his eyes, then let out a deep breath. “I will hold you to that. But not as the Herald,” he said warningly. “I want your word as her sister.” </p><p>“I promise.”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>“Cullen, what is going on?” I said with exasperation as he carried me in the cold, draped in a cloak with a blindfold on. “I told you I was sorry for making you worry, so what gives? Where are you taking me?”</p><p>“It’s a surprise,” he replied, not removing any of my bindings. “You surprised me by leaving, so now it’s my turn. Admittedly, my surprise isn’t going to cause most of the leadership to descend upon the town in a frenzy, but a surprise is a surprise.”</p><p>“I don’t like surprises,” I huffed. “People who see the future don’t usually like things that surprise them- those tend to be bad.” I tried to check threads, but I was getting nothing. “You’re not making decisions on purpose, aren’t you?”</p><p>“Possibly,” he said, laughing, “It’s a necessary defense mechanism when your wife can see your destiny. Your father warned me about it before he threatened to murder me in one of his letters.”</p><p>“Glad that’s going well,” I said with a smile. “But seriously, I don’t like surprises- can you please just tell me what’s going on?”</p><p>“You have less than a minute left- I should think you’ll survive, love.” He shifted beneath me, and I heard the sounds of a key in a lock. “What are you doing? Are you putting me in a cell?”</p><p>“Is that something I should be doing?” Cullen replied as we walked inside. Though I couldn’t see anything, I could feel the warmth of the room, and I could smell the food as he gently took off my blindfold. “I didn’t intend on using a blindfold, but I had to do something to surprise you. I mean, I did tell you I would carry you like that into a home of our own one day.”</p><p>“A what-“ I looked around, and it was the cabin I had stolen earlier, but someone had come in and added a few more pieces of furniture and set out a meal for us. “What are you saying, Cullen?” He gently lowered me to the floor, and I took off the cloak, scanning the room. “I don’t understand.”</p><p>“This is our house,” he said, closing the door and crossing the room in what felt like one step, wrapping his arms around me. “Samantha, I know it’s difficult, and I know you’re coping with quite a few things. But make no mistake, I belong with you.” He kissed me on the top of my head, then rested his chin in my hair. “And for the first time in ten years, with you in my arms, I feel like I’m home.” He tilted my face up to look at him, the firelight reflecting in his eyes. “Will you do me the honor of staying here... with me?” Cullen smiled, running his fingers along my cheek as he pressed his head to mine. "No more sneaking off in the middle of the night, no more worrying about what others think? Just you and me?”</p><p>“This is us, huh?” I whispered. “So I can wear my owls, play my music, and place all my art all on the walls here? And I get to see your bedhead in the morning and yell at you about stealing all the covers?”</p><p>“And probably chide me about not coming to bed right away,” he said with a grin. “But yes… whatever you want, Sam- this is our home. Whenever you leave, I want you to know that you always have a home to come back to.” </p><p>“Thank you,” I said, clutching him tightly. “You have no idea what that means to me right now.”</p><p>“I don’t,” he agreed. “But I will if you tell me.” He looked at me, eyes serious. “Just promise me you’ll talk to me when you feel troubled, all right? No more running off and hiding- we talk about things in this house, ok?"</p><p>I threaded my hand in his, staring into the face of the man I loved. “I promise."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Rain on me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It’s not the best weather on the Storm Coast...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>I woke up expecting to find a curly-haired blond man, but what I got was a redhead with piercing green eyes and a burrito in her hand. “Hey sleepyhead, wake up- we have things to do.”</p><p>“Ugh,” I said, flinging the covers over my head. “How did you get in my house, Lana?”'</p><p>“I’m the Herald- I can go wherever I want,” she said, pulling the covers off my face. “Also, I met the Commander on his way to training- he let me in.” She settled into a spot on the edge of the bed, waving the burrito under my nose. “Besides, when you moved out, you took breakfast with you.” </p><p>“You could eat something besides those things, you know,” I grumbled, trying to kick her off the bed. “Maybe try eating the oatmeal with fruit- it's a decent breakfast and you only need hot water.” She gave me a look and I groaned. “It’s not even hard to make, Lana!”</p><p>“I like this,” she said, arms crossed. “I have a glowing, burning mark on my hand, I’m being tasked with saving the world, and I cannot see the love of my life. Let me have this one damn thing, Sam.” She extended her arm, handing the empty wrapper to me. “If you love me, you will make me another burrito."</p><p>“I love you, but where I’m from, that counts as emotional blackmail, Lana.” She grumbled and I kicked her, getting up from the bed and holding out a cup. “Hot water, please- I’m making oatmeal. Seeing as how everyone wakes up at the crack of dawn, I have a feeling there’s nothing left in the mess hall for me.” </p><p>“Nope, but I snagged you a sweet roll,” she said, pointing to the table. “I figured it was the least I could do since I was coming to steal your food.” </p><p>“You’re too kind,” I said. “Hey, Firestarter, can you set me up with a bath? I got something for you that I don’t want to be around for, and you have to do it in here anyway. So,” I said, gesturing to the tub in the corner of the room, “hook your sister up with some hot water?”</p><p>“And how is this any different from my burrito?” Lana asked, filling the tub. “And what do you have for me?”</p><p>“Do you remember how to use this?” I asked, reaching in my bag and pulling out my phone. “Cause there’s a message on here for you.” </p><p>Her face went slack when I handed her the device. “From Ali?” </p><p>I was about to say something sarcastic, but seeing her expectant face made me relent. “Yeah, Lana Banana. I felt terrible about me being able to see and hear Ali when you missed him so much, so I said fuck it and had him make a video for you. Took him a minute to accept I wasn’t trying to suck him into the phone and take him to you, but I got through… eventually.” I placed a hand on her shoulder, wanting to give her space. “My headphones are in the bag- want me to get them out so you can listen while I take a bath?” </p><p>“Yes.” She was staring at the phone as if it was made of gold. “Thank you, Sam,” she replied, wiping her eyes. “May I make one of my own for you to give to him?” </p><p>I shrugged. “Sure- as long as you remember how to do it, knock yourself out.” I grinned, “Besides, we’re in the modern zone in here- all earth stuff is allowed in this room, no restrictions. If you don’t mind waiting till after I take my bath, I’ll leave so you can have some privacy- what you say to him isn’t my business.”  </p><p>Lana looked over at me, then wrapped me in a huge hug. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Sam,” she whispered. “You have no idea what this means to me.” </p><p>“I think I do,” I said, hugging her back. “I’m gonna take a bath, then I’m gonna start a letter to Grace if you don’t mind. I don’t know if she knows you’re alive or if I even left- figure I should catch her up before she starts a war to find me.”</p><p>“We have enough problems here without adding another sister to the mix,” Lana agreed. “If you wish, my phone is in my coat, which I am sad to say that Cullen stole from me.” She let out a soft sigh. “Maker, I really liked that coat.”</p><p>“I assume you have music on there?” I asked, rummaging through the chest of clothing and locating her coat. “I could totally sing along to some tunes while I’m in the tub.” </p><p>She started to hand me the headphones, then fixed me with a sharp look. “Do you sing better than your otherworld counterpart?”</p><p>“Nope- I sound like a dying narwhal.” She glared at me and I shook my head, reaching for the cord dangling from her hand. “Point taken, I won’t sing, Lana.”</p><p>“Much appreciated, Sam."</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Seeing her love and Dog talking to her through the phone made her heart swell with joy and twist with loneliness, as she wanted nothing more than to have him back again. The video version of Alistair talked to her while Sam snored, telling her about things that had transpired in her absence, how much he loved her, and how he wanted to see her again soon. He told her about the false calling Sam had mentioned, and how he was trying to figure out what was going on while staying away from some wardens who had been trying to capture him. </p><p>In turn, Lana had recorded a message of her own while Sam was bathing, and her sister agreed to take it to Ali the next time he was available for a visit. It wasn’t the same as seeing him, but it was better than a letter- she wanted to go back into Sam’s house and watch his message again, but for now, the small interaction had lifted her spirits immensely. When they left Sam’s cabin and headed for the Chantry, Lana felt better than she had in ages, and she was ready to continue with her duties.</p><p>It was late by the time they arrived- all the advisors and Cassandra were already assembled, and Lana felt a slight bit of shame at being the last to arrive. Fortunately, Sam was with her, and for once Lana was glad that the girl had not an ounce of shame. She strode into the room like she owned the place, sauntering up to the table and placing her hands on top. “’ Sup, guys- what’s on the menu for Team Mage 2.0 to handle today?”</p><p>Lana had to suppress a giggle at the scandalized reactions from Cassandra and Josephine, and the exasperated sigh that escaped Cullen at her outburst. “Good morning, Lady Samantha,” Josephine stammered, trying to regain some composure. “I trust you slept well in your new quarters?”</p><p>“Absolutely amazing, Josie,” Sam said with a smile. “So, what’s up? All you guys are in here all frowny-faced, so there has to be something going on that you need me and my sister to fix.” She looked at Lana, who rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “I’m rested, clean, and recharged- what’s on the docket, people?"</p><p>It was Cullen’s turn to roll his eyes at his wife, but Lana noticed him move next to Sam, surreptitiously wrapping an arm around her waist. “We’ve received an envoy from Bull’s Chargers, a mercenary group- they want us meet to meet them on the Storm Coast so we can see about hiring them on.” </p><p>Lana turned to the Commander, thinking about it. “What are your thoughts about this? I don’t know how I feel about aligning with mercenaries.”</p><p>“But you’ll partner with assassins, golems, and templars?” Cullen said with a smirk. “Did death make you choosey all of a sudden… Herald?”</p><p>“Call me that again and I’ll have Sam hide your hair gel… Commander.” Lana said snidely. He shot her a look of panic and she laughed, hip-checking him. “I suppose you’re right- do you think they’ll be worth the money?”</p><p>“Considering the quality of recruits we have right now, I’d take our chances with the Chargers- I can only do so much in a short time, and having some extra muscle won’t hurt,” Cullen replied. “But I would like to ask Samantha for confirmation if she’s amenable.”</p><p>“Oh for the love of-“ Sam huffed, blowing a stray hair out of her face. “Stop dancing around stuff and just ask me what you want to know- I’m standing right here, guys.” </p><p><em>Sam, he’s trying to respect your position,</em> Lana chided her silently. <em>Here, he’s the Commander and you’re the Savior, not husband and wife. </em></p><p><em>Call me that again and I’m going to hide the burritos,</em> Sam growled. <em>I hate that title as much as you hate yours. Besides, I talk a big game, but I don’t really have a point to be here- I can’t close rifts like you, handle nobles, lead armies, or spy. I feel like your groupie little sister. </em></p><p><em>Sam</em>, Lana said, placing an arm around her to the confusion of the others in the room, <em>you are an advisor in the truest sense of the word. Not to mention, you are the one I truly trust to have my best interests in mind without question- no matter what anyone in this room may say, I see your value.</em> She made a small flame dance across her fingers, giving Sam a smirk. <em>And I dare one of them to say otherwise. </em></p><p><em>You're a bit scary, Lana Banana,</em> Sam said with a grin before hugging her around her waist. <em>But I love you. </em></p><p><em>You better</em>, she thought, then turned to address the room. “Sam, what happens if we decide to bring on the Chargers?”</p><p>She thought about it for a moment, closing her eyes. “A lot of fun and a big headache for me.” She let out a sigh, then ran her fingers through her hair. “I guess I’d better pack my sketchbook and candy for this mission.” </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>Stabby,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Do you know what this much moisture is doing to my hair? Not only have I had to put my hair in braids, making me look like I’m about to rob a liquor store, but every inch of my body is chafing- do you know how uncomfortable that is? Someone needs to invent Vaseline out here, ASAP. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The dudes we were supposed to hook up with are seriously badass. Their leader is the 2.0 version of our favorite Cookie Monster- when did they start making them with horns and a personality? We’re bringing them back with us, but someone better make sure there’s extra liquor in that tavern. You can play around if you want to, but I don’t want to be anywhere in the vicinity when the drinks run out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>We also hooked up with some dudes who think Banana is now their supreme leader or something. Apparently, their original boss missed the memo on talk shit, get hit. He was a dick, so we took the hot potato amulet and smoked the asshat with one good blast from the bomb-dot-com when he tried to call Banana’s bluff- he must’ve not been in Ferelden when Crispy tried that shit at the Landsmeet. But oh well- he’s now a pile of ash and we have a whole new troop of missionaries behind us. You’re welcome, by the way- I accept cash, check or charge for thank you payments.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Look into Beardy for me, will you? I still can’t get a good read on him. I know he's harmless, but as the great Foghorn Leghorn once said, that boy ain’t right, and I like not feeling like I’m taking an assload of drugs on the regular. Until we know what’s up with him, he can’t roll with the cool kids- it’s either him or me and I ain’t leaving cause I have priority seating on this flight.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Long story short, we’re coming back with a serious crew and a massive case of swamp ass. I swear, if I didn’t think this new crew would get twitchy at me going poof, I’d deliver this myself. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m not gonna say you’re right, but I probably could have sat this one out. At the very least, my body would have appreciated it. I need a healer like yesterday, but I’m not letting the hobo anywhere near my inner thighs- even I have limits. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’ll see you all soon and I never want to see this place again,</em><br/>
<em>Sparrow    </em>
</p><p>—</p><p>“Does she have to swear so much?” Josephine asked when Leliana read the letter aloud. “Her mouth is worse than an Antivan sailor’s.”</p><p>“Well, she did spend a year with Zevran, then she was with Isabela, Hawke, and Varric- her quality of language should not be all that much of a surprise,” Cullen replied, shaking his head at the letter. At least they had more allies- the Blades of Hessarian would prove to be useful in the days to come. He wondered what Sam meant about the Chargers- if Sam thought they were going to be rowdy... His wife was many things, but demure was never a word that he’d choose for her- if someone struck her as unruly, then he’d better make sure to take proper precautions. He also realized that these were the exact type of people she would want to hang out with, but he chose to ignore that fact for the time being- one problem at a time, he thought.</p><p>Leliana just chuckled. “Part of me wants to never have Sam write another field report, the other half wants to have her write every last one. I am also getting the distinct impression Lana is letting her write them on purpose.”</p><p>Cullen thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “That is entirely possible. Keep in mind that Lana is just as bad as Sam- she's just less inclined to use strange references.” He looked over at the two other women, then shook his head. “Maker help us all.”</p><p>—</p><p>
  <em>Banana,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Are you letting Sparrow write the missives on purpose?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Curly</em><br/>
<em>—</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Curly,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Letting Sparrow write mission notes is too good an opportunity to let pass by, so in answer to your question, fuck yeah I am. Writing mission reports is quite boring- Scout gets quite a chuckle out of reading them as well, so who am I to steal a person’s joy?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Plus, I bet it annoys you, which is a bonus and gives me a small measure of comfort in my wet, cold hours out here.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Banana</em><br/>
<em>PS: Her notes have also served to teach me some colorful ways to use the language, which I appreciate. </em><br/>
<em>—</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Banana,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Do not use Sparrow as a role model on language. One of you is enough and there is only so much I can do. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Ruffles</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>“So, you’re the herald,” the booming voice said as we walked. “How’s that going?” </p><p> “As well as one could expect, I suppose.” Lana looked at the large quinari, then shrugged. “And you’re the one they call Iron Bull?”</p><p>“The Iron Bull,” he corrected. “It’s the article that makes it special.” He gave her a wink with his good eye, and Lana felt herself chuckling. “If you’ll indulge me, I’ve heard a few rumors about you that I’d like to confirm.”</p><p>“Half of the stories are lies told by morons in hopes of feeling self-important, and the other half are unfortunate exaggerations,” Lana said, turning to look at Sam and Varric walking ahead. She wished she could have her sister with her for this, but the mercenary captain was giving Sam a headache- she’d made it a point to stay as far away from him as possible until they got to camp and she could sketch him. The fact that he was actively admitting he was a Ben-Hassrath was unnerving, but she couldn’t deny having his information in exchange for him sending tidbits back home was going to be useful. However, that didn’t mean she had to enjoy it. </p><p>“Even the fanciest of tales have a grain of truth to them,” The Iron Bull replied. “And please, call me Bull- we’re friends here, Herald.”</p><p>“If we’re friends, then call me Lana,” she replied. Lana had no desire to take part in this interaction, but she was the leader, which meant having these conversations even when she didn’t want to. “What’s on your mind, Bull?”</p><p>“Let’s start with the easy things first,” he said. “The tiny girl is your sister, correct?” </p><p>Lana nodded- true to his word, it was an easy question, which made her more nervous. It was one of the few things that people had gotten right when they told the horrible tales about her and Sam, and it made her wonder why he was confirming something he so obviously knew. “I get the feeling you already knew the answer to that.”</p><p>“I did,” he agreed. “I just wanted to see if you would tell me.”</p><p>She frowned, placing a hand on her hip. “If you knew, then why test me at all?”</p><p>“To see how you look when you tell the truth,” he said honestly. “Second question- are you the Hero of Ferelden?"</p><p>If she’d been eating, she would have spit out her food at that question. Not many people suspected that about her, but to have it be asked so plainly by this spy made her feel exposed and open.  Instead of answering, she reached out to her sister, smiling at the Quinari to stall for time. <em>Sam, what happens if I tell this man the truth? </em></p><p>She was silent for a moment, and Lana waited, knowing she was saying more with her silence than she ever could with her words. <em>Nothing</em>, Sam replied. <em>He’s loyal, Lana- long as we treat him and his crew right, he’s pretty transparent. Weird, considering he’s a spy. </em></p><p>“Gonna answer that question, Boss?” Bull asked, an amused smile spreading across his face. “Or is that too hard for you?”</p><p>“Yes, I am,” she said finally. “It’s not something I tell people most days, though.” She stared at Bull, curious. “Why do you ask?”</p><p>“It helps to know who you’re working with,” he said, looking her over. “I’ve had many clients, but I can’t say I’ve ever worked for a dead woman. How does that work?" </p><p>“I honestly don’t know,” she said. It wasn’t a lie- she had no idea how Nia had managed to send her or Sam here. “All I know is that I was once dead, and now I’m not, with a mark on my hand and destined to save the world… again.” She let out a soft sigh. “And now you know as much about my return as I do.”</p><p>“For what it’s worth, I’m appreciative of your efforts,” he said suggestively, causing Lana to blush. “However, this doesn’t explain why your sister isn’t from here, Boss.”</p><p>At the mention of Sam, Lana felt herself stiffen. “Leave Sam out of this,” she growled. “My life is up for discussion, but you leave her alone.”</p><p>Bull smiled good-naturedly. “Easy there… I see she’s a button for you.” He leaned down, close enough to whisper in her ear. “You might want to tone that down- the wrong people might notice and decide to use her to get to you, Boss.” </p><p>“Isn’t that what you’re trying to do,” she hissed angrily, feeling ice start to creep up around her fingers. “And if you are, I can see we’re going to have a problem.”</p><p>“Precisely the opposite,” Bull said, rubbing her shoulders- instantly, Lana felt some of her tension dissipate. “I’m here to point out where you can shore up your defenses, make it so people don’t take the secrets you don’t want to share. That’s the true value of having someone on both sides, Lana,” he said softly. “I believe in what you’re doing out here… and I believe in you."</p><p>“You don’t know me,” she whispered, struggling to keep her head straight with his fingers rolling out the tension in her shoulders. “You just met us- a few missions in the pouring rain doesn’t make us friends.”</p><p>“Not yet,” he said with a smile, finishing his ministrations on her neck and patting her on the small of her back. “But it goes a long way toward getting there."</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>Grace,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I have no idea how much time has passed for you- is it minutes? Hours? Years? At any rate, you have no idea how much I miss you right now- I don’t know how to cope with the fact that I can’t come back. How did you handle this when you left? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, you know how I was being all cagey when we last talked? Well, it’s cause I got married while you were gone (please don’t murder me- Dad has threatened that enough for everyone and my poor husband is still terrified). Now I see how you felt about the lack of tech- I wish I could just send you a picture, but I’ll send you a drawing. He’s not the King of the Ghouls like John, but we all can’t marry royalty, can we? Also, you’re a big sister again- Lana is back, and mom adopted her. Surprise! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>How are Shaun and Jenny? I miss those two nubbins- I was kinda looking forward to spoiling them rotten then unleashing them on you two. I know I don’t say it, but I’m jealous, Grace- you get to have a life. I know it’s rough, but you have a family you love and that loves you right back out there. I’m tolerated at best, and I know it. I mean, I’m not talking about Lana and Cullen- they’re my everything, but that’s it. Leli has changed- she’s not the girl I used to know. She’s too hard, and I don’t know how to reach her again. She’s better with Lana, but I think she still blames me a little for not being able to change what happened out here. And Varric is cool, but I get the feeling he sees me as a work friend- I don’t want to get too attached to him only to get the ‘whoa, what did you think this was’ reaction. And Cassandra and Solas are nice enough, but Solas treats me like a science project and Cassandra constantly has this look on her face like she thinks I’m the dumbest thing on the planet and can’t figure out how I’m still breathing. There’s a new guy here, and he’s a spy and a mercenary. Wasn’t Mac was a merc? At least he turned out to be ok- I’m hoping we get lucky like you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>How did you do it, Grace? How did you handle not having anyone? I feel like I don’t know how to make friends anymore- I think I’ve been training with Mom too long. I think you got lucky… being normal wasn’t a bad thing. You got to have a life, make friends, go out, have fun… I feel like the more I learn, the less I feel like a person. You kept me grounded, Grace, and now I’m drifting again. I don’t know what to do.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Geez, this wasn’t meant to be a bitchfest, I promise. But if I can’t talk to the person who knows me best, then who can I talk to?</em><br/>
<em>-Sam</em>
</p><p>“Baron Plucky?” I called out softly, looking up from my place by the fire. “Can you hear me?”</p><p>“How does that bird know how to find you guys anyway?” Iron Bull asked, sneaking up on me. How someone so big could move so silently was beyond me, but he did- he was on me before I even knew he was there. “Kinda odd to have a bird at your beck and call, don’t you think?”</p><p>“He’s a special bird,” I replied as the raven settled nearby, letting out a soft caw. “Hello, Baron Plucky. I have a favor to ask you, but I don’t know if you can do it.”</p><p><em>I will do what I can,</em> the bird replied. <em>It appears you are being watched, Sam. </em></p><p>“I know,” I said, casting a glance at Bull, who was watching us stoically. “But right now, I need to know if you can take this to Grace.”</p><p>
  <em>Certainly, if that is what you need me to do. </em>
</p><p>I smiled at the bird and stroked the top of his head. “Thank you. You have no idea what that means to me.” I rolled up the note and my drawing and tied it to his foot, then scratched under his wing at the spot he often said he could never quite reach.</p><p><em>Ah, you remembered</em>, he said with a contented whistle. <em>My thanks, Samantha. </em></p><p>“Anything for you,” I replied, reaching in my bag and pulling out a handful of the trail mix. “Food for the road?”</p><p><em>I would not turn it down,</em> he answered before gently pecking the food from my hand. When I winced at him nipping me with his beak, the bird looked up at me. <em>I’m not injuring you, am I?</em></p><p>I shook my head. "It’s no trouble- you’re doing me a favor and you’re working with what you have. Don’t worry about it."</p><p><em>As long as you’re sure</em>. He finished his snack, then shook out his wings. <em>Thank you for the meal- I will be off now. I do not know how long it will take, so please ask the Nightingale not to worry when I do not return right away. </em></p><p>“I’ll tell her,” I said, patting his head again. “Thank you and safe travels, Baron Plucky.”</p><p>He let out a soft caw and took off into the night sky, leaving me to put away the food in front of a very confused Iron Bull. “It seemed like you just had a conversation with that bird, Samantha.”</p><p>“I did, and his name is Baron Plucky- he appreciates the conversation after a long trip,” I said as I pulled my sketchbook from my bag. “How long have you been watching me, Bull?”</p><p>“Long enough to see you write a letter in a language I can’t read, and I can read quite a few of them,” he said, moving to sit next to me. “Why is it that your sister is on edge around me, but you don’t seem to be bothered in the slightest?”</p><p>I shrugged, continuing my sketch of the Charger captain. “Because I know that you’re here to help. You want the breach gone as much as we do.”</p><p>“True, but you’re an odd one, little bird,” he said, gesturing to the book. “You draw everything you see, you wrote a note to a person no one else talks to in a language I’ve never seen before, and you just had a whole conversation with a bird that I would swear understood every word you just said. Now the boss is a little weird, but she’s nothing like you- whenever I mention you, she gets into an overprotective state. So,” he said, his good eye peering at me in the firelight, “what’s your story, little bird?”</p><p>“Sparrow or Sam, if you please,” I replied. “And trust me, I’m not all that interesting. Lana is the hero around here,” I said as I turned away. “All you need to know is I’m gonna help her any way I can.”</p><p>“You look lonely, Sam,” Bull said. “Missing your husband?” </p><p>I looked up at him, shocked at his statement. “Excuse me?”</p><p>He gestured to my ring. “Wedding band. And you’re out here moping like you don’t want to be here when everyone else is asleep. I’d say you were writing to him, but I didn’t get that feeling from the conversation with the bird."</p><p>“You’re observant,” I answered, not looking up at him. “Even with one eye, you see a lot.”</p><p>“And I see you trying to hide, Sam,” he said as he shifted in his seat to see me better. "Why so closed off? You look like you don’t trust anyone out here except the boss… maybe the dwarf, but that’s about it.”</p><p>“I don’t,” I replied. “Not sure how to make friends anymore, if I’m being honest. Been a rough ride for me.”</p><p>“Ah,” he said, extending a hand to me. “Name’s The Iron Bull, emphasis on ’the’- gotta respect the article,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. “But you can call me Bull if you like. I’m a Ben-Hassrath spy, leader of the Chargers, and an all-around sexy beast. Pleased to meet you, Sam."</p><p>Despite feeling sorry for myself, I laughed. “I already knew that, Bull.”</p><p>“But I never told you myself,” he corrected. “If you want to make friends, you have to get to know people. To get to know people, you have to tell them something about yourself and learn about them, too. So, Sam,” he said, still holding my hand, “Care to tell me a little bit about you?”</p><p>“Um,” I paused, thinking for a moment. “What do you want to know?”</p><p>He shrugged politely. “Start with something you want to tell me.”</p><p>“Well,” I said, thinking about what to say. “I’m Lana’s sister.”</p><p>He nodded. “That’s good, but that’s not really about you. What is Sam like?” </p><p>“Hmm, no one has asked me that in a long time,” I said thoughtfully. “Sometimes I’m not sure I even know anymore.”</p><p>Bull just stared at me. “I assume the people you’re already close to don't need to ask these types of questions, am I right?” When I didn’t say anything in response, he nodded. “It’s hard when you only let a few folks in- you forget how to do it. You expect everyone to know you like they do, and you forget how to put the work in with someone else.”</p><p>“Is it worth it?” I stared up at the quinari, my mouth set in a small frown. “And why would I open up to you? You’re just going to report it back to the Qun, so why would I tell you anything?"</p><p>He chuckled. “If I was going to tell them everything, I wouldn’t have told you I was a spy, now would I? Plus, I’ve seen what you and the boss can do together… I know how to be selective with my information, especially when it seems you two are the best hope of sealing that rip in the sky. Besides,” he said, patting me on the shoulder, “Wouldn’t it make sense to be friends so I’d have an incentive not to rat you out?” He peered down at me, a smile playing on his lips. “Or do you just not trust anyone?”</p><p>“I trusted someone else once… then he ran off with the guy who blew up the chantry in Kirkwall. So my track record lately isn’t exactly spotless around here.”</p><p>Bull laughed. “Nobody’s perfect, but I can at least promise that I’m not going to blow up any buildings on you.” I let out a small giggle, and he shoulder-checked me playfully. “So, tell me about your drawings, Sparrow- I noticed you do that a lot.” </p><p>“Yeah, I like to draw- helps me keep it together. Been doing it since I was a little kid,” I said quietly. “So, there you go- that’s a thing that’s just about me, I suppose.” </p><p>“So it is. Nice to meet you, Sam, sister of the Herald of Andraste, married to…” he paused, then looked at me, waiting until I filled in the blank. “Care to elaborate?”</p><p>I laughed, then flipped to a page in my sketchbook. “Him,” I replied, flipping to a picture of Cullen, giving orders to the troops at Haven. “Cullen Rutherford, Commander of the Inquisition. May as well tell you, you’re going to find out anyway.”</p><p>“I already knew,” he said with a smile. “I just wanted to see if you’d be a friend and tell me the truth.” I scowled, and he punched me lightly in the arm. “Oh come on, you can’t be mad about that- I have to know who I’m working with, same as you do.” Bull tapped on the drawing. “Seems like you care about him- lots of pictures of him in that book of yours.”</p><p>“You’re in here too- that doesn’t mean I care about you,” I teased. </p><p>“But it doesn’t mean you don’t,” he replied with a grin. “So, sister of the Herald and wife of the Commander. Those are some pretty big shoes to fill, Sparrow.”</p><p>“Sure is,” I agreed. “Why are you being so nice to me, Bull?”</p><p>“Because you could use a friend,” he said softly, watching me closely. “You and your sister are both wound up too tight. She’s got her duty to focus on, but you don’t… and I want to make sure you’re ok. I’ve seen soldiers who have that same look you have… right before they do something stupid to make themselves feel like they matter.” Bull stared at me and I squirmed in my seat, saying nothing. “And I don’t think the boss or the Commander are going to take too kindly to something happening to you, so if I can serve the Inquisition by being a friend and an ear for the most connected woman in the Inquisition, then why not? It doesn’t cost me anything to be nice, so why wouldn’t I do it?”</p><p>“You… want to be my friend?” I asked carefully. "Not just pump me for information to send back to the Qun?” </p><p>“Well, information is nice,” he replied casually- I glared at him, then looked back down at my sketchbook. “But sometimes there are things that are worth a little more than that.”</p><p>“Is this one of those times?” I asked, looking up at him as he placed a beefy arm on my shoulder. “Why does it matter to you?"</p><p>“Considering what happens if we fail out here,” he said, staring up at the sky, “And how they’d fall apart if you do? Then I’d say yes… it is. Sometimes the right thing to do is the exact opposite of what you think it is, and life is too short to go around hiding what you want. Remember that, Sam.”</p><p>“I will,” I said with a smile. “Thanks for the chat- it was nice talking to you,” I admitted. I started to look back down at my sketchbook, then thought better of it. “Hey, Bull?” I asked tentatively. </p><p>“Yeah, Sparrow?”</p><p>“When we get back to Haven, do you want to go and get drinks at the tavern? I know they serve swill, but swill amongst friends is always better, right?”</p><p>Bull let out a loud laugh, then clapped me on my shoulder as he stood up. “You had me at swill, Sam- I’ll see you there."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Conversations and Cocktails</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cullen and Sam have a side conversation; Lana goes drinking with Bull and Varric</p><p>NSFW!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I move today, so early post in celebration!</p><p>I don't usually write smut, but this whole thing is pretty much NSFW- they're finally getting down to business! Lana's section has a little plot in it and a bunch of innuendoes, so feel free to skip to that if you're not here for the smut train.</p><p>Regular plot continues Tuesday!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Cullen was in the war room with Leliana and Josephine, talking about some of the requisitions Lana and Sam had filled in the Storm Coast and Hinterlands when he felt a tingle in his head. <em>Hey hon, what’s going on?</em></p><p>Trying to stop himself from smiling and failing, he responded to his wife. <em>Having a meeting about all the items and resources you two have collected. You two are keeping us fed and well-supplied- we appreciate your efforts.</em></p><p>
  <em>That’s good. Do you miss me?</em>
</p><p><em>More than words,</em> he thought, only to be shaken out of his thoughts by a throat clearing next to him. Surprised, Cullen looked at the women with him, embarrassed at being caught unawares. “Hmm?”</p><p>Leliana’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “Is there something you wish to share with the rest of us, Commander?”</p><p>He felt himself turn red. “Sam just asked what we were doing, that’s all. Sorry for my inattention.” <em>You distract me, wife, he thought. You’ve gotten me chided by our Spymaster, who will not let me forget this so quickly.</em></p><p><em>Oh really,</em> came the reply.<em> I’d hate to get you in trouble, husband. </em></p><p><em>Well, you did,</em> he answered.<em> I’ll talk to you when I finish.</em> He turned to Leliana and Josephine, clearing his throat. “Where were we?” </p><p>Josephine looked down at her clipboard. “It seems we have some new agents to join the inquisition. We may also want to-“</p><p><em>You could talk to me later.. or we could play a game,</em> she said, her voice teasing and light in his head. <em>I wonder... can I make the great Commander Cullen Rutherford lose his cool?</em></p><p><em>You cannot,</em> he replied, turning back to Josephine as she rattled off a list of tasks she wanted a decision from Lana on. <em>Besides, why would you even do such a thing anyway?</em></p><p><em>To prove I can,</em> she retorted. <em>I can still surprise you, Metal Man.</em></p><p>Despite his best efforts, he felt himself smiling at her words. <em>Do your worst, Lady Rutherford. </em></p><p><em>Remember, you asked for this,</em> she warned. <em>I want it on record that you did this to yourself. </em></p><p><em>Samantha, I have faced far bigger threats than you playing games in my mind,</em> he thought. <em>But by all means, if it makes you feel better to see if you can fluster me, then feel free to try. </em></p><p><em>Cocky bastard</em>, she murmured, then paused when he ignored her. <em>I wonder how cocky you'll be when I take your cock in my mouth and blow you senseless.</em></p><p>Whatever he'd expected, it definitely wasn't that. “WHAT?” Cullen said aloud, turning a fierce shade of red. He heard Sam's soft laughter in his head, then looked up to see the two women staring at him at his outburst. </p><p>“I said, we may also want to send the Chargers out on a few missions, now that they are in our employ,” Josephine said slowly. “I wasn’t aware that this was such a sensitive subject for you, Commander.”</p><p>“I…” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “It is no issue, Josephine. Please, continue.” </p><p><em>Did I get you in trouble?</em> Sam asked innocently.<em> I’m sorry- I just keep thinking about being at home with you and getting out of these wet clothes by the fire. I’m just so wet… everywhere,</em> she murmured. <em>I might need some help undressing- do you think you could help?</em></p><p><em>Maker’s breath,</em> he thought, a flush creeping up his face as he tried to ignore the voice in his head and the looks he was getting.<em> Sam, I’m in a meeting! You know full well what you're doing,</em> he growled in his head. <em>What has possessed you to do such a thing?</em></p><p><em>You said I couldn’t surprise you,</em> she teased. <em>Maybe I need to be taught a lesson,</em> she purred. <em>Maybe you should strip me naked and bend me over your knee.</em> In his mind, her voice was soft and low, and he could imagine her licking her lips, staring at him and pouting suggestively. <em>You should probably spank me so I don’t do such a thing again. Would that help?</em></p><p>By this point, there was no denying the flush that was all over his face, and the Commander had to drop his papers to his lap to hide his unintentional excitement. <em>Sam</em>, he hissed, his cheeks hot with embarrassment and desire,<em> you are not helping… at all!</em></p><p><em>Oops!</em> Sam giggled. <em>Did I just make the great Commander get all hot and bothered in the middle of his meeting?</em></p><p><em>Point made</em>, Sam, he growled. <em>You win. </em></p><p><em>Oh, I wasn’t trying to win,</em> she replied devilishly. <em>I just miss my husband, that’s all. It’s been so long since I’ve had you inside me that all I can do is think about what I’m going to do when I see you again. I’ve been going outside and touching myself at night, pretending-</em></p><p>“That’s it!” Cullen said, standing up and running for the door. “I have to go… I’m not… feeling well,” he stammered hastily. “I’ll return later."</p><p><em>Why are you leaving?</em> Sam asked innocently as he raced through the Chantry and headed for his house. <em>I thought you had a meeting?</em></p><p><em>I’m not talking to you anymore,</em> Cullen replied, breaking out into a run. <em>Not until I get home and can gather my thoughts. </em></p><p>The voice of his wife purred softly in his head. <em>Are those thoughts going to involve you taking yourself in your hands while you think about me?</em></p><p><em>Samantha, I need you to stop!</em> He raced to his house, slamming the door shut and locking it. Thoroughly flustered, Cullen leaned against the door, breathing heavily. The Commander knew he looked like a madman running through town, but her voice in his ear whispering such naughty wonders was too much for him- he had to get away from people.</p><p>“Had to come home to me? What happened to your meeting?”</p><p>At the sound of that voice behind him, he felt his face grow hot with desire- he whirled around to see his wife standing in front of the fire in nothing but her smalls, dripping wet and staring at him with a smirk on her face. “Sam,” he said, voice low and rumbling as he stalked toward her, “when did you get back?”</p><p>“Right when I told you I’d suck you off and you damn near blew your load in the middle of a meeting with Leli and Josie,” she said with a grin. “It was too perfect of an opportunity to resist. I had to get you home somehow.”</p><p>“There are other ways to attract my attention,” he growled. “Ways that don’t involve my utter embarrassment in front of leadership.”</p><p>“But you asked for it,” she said, taking off her bra and smirking at him. “Besides, none of those ways ended with you coming home and ready to jerk off with my name on your lips.”</p><p>“Your mouth is absolutely filthy,” he said as he stepped out of his armor, for once not caring about it being put neatly away- he needed to be free, to get out of as many of his clothes as quickly as possible. “What should we do about that?” </p><p>She shrugged. “This is your house.” Sam stepped out the last of her smalls, standing naked in front of him. “You tell me what I should do… Commander.”</p><p>“Since when do you listen to what I say?” Cullen asked, grabbing her by her waist and pulling her to him, nipping her neck. “I can’t recall a single time in the last eleven years you’ve ever done a single thing I’ve asked you to.”</p><p>“I married you, didn’t I? Seems to me like you get what you want when you ask properly,” she whispered, gently biting his earlobe and threading her fingers through his hair, the other stroking him and making him groan into her neck. “Maybe you should learn how to ask me for what you want.”</p><p>“Is that all I have to do?” Cullen asked, gripping her ass and pressing her against him, causing Sam to let out a soft moan. “Or did someone start a game they didn’t intend to finish?”</p><p>“I meant every word,” she said, taking a deep breath and gently guiding him to their bed. “Sit down,” she commanded, trailing her fingertips down his chest. “I already told you what I wanted to do.”</p><p>“Then do it,” he breathed, sitting on the bed and gripping the edge, staring up into her face. “No one is stopping you.” </p><p>“But do you want me to?” She moved between his legs, and he snaked his hands around to grab her ass and squeeze as he traced trails up her stomach with his tongue. She arched her back at the contact, and dug her nails in his shoulders,  “I need to know what you want.” </p><p>“Are you sure you want me to tell you?” Cullen asked as he kissed her on her hips. “Or should I just show you?”</p><p>“Oh, I want you to tell me,” she replied, her breath coming out in ragged bursts. “I’m not going to be the only one with a filthy mouth in this house- you won’t get anything until you tell me what you want.” She was close enough to him to smell her arousal, and he closed his eyes, breathing her in. “If you can tell whole armies what to do, you can tell your wife exactly what you want.”  She pulled him close, snaking her fingers in his hair and tilting his head back to look at her. “Come on, Chantry boy,” she taunted, “Fuck decency, fuck propriety- if I’m going to be here with you, I want to know what it is that <em>you</em> want for once, and I don’t care how it sounds. ” Her words were cutting but her eyes were pleading, searching his face. “I’m not made of glass- stop treating me like I am.”</p><p>“I want my wife... every inch of her,” he said as he placed his hands on her shoulders, lowering her face to his, then kissing her deeply. “So, you truly want to know this? Every desire, every detail?”</p><p>”All of it,” she whispered. “We hold back for everyone else, but you’re my husband,” she murmured, running her fingers through his curls. “You never need to do that with me.”</p><p>He licked his lips, then gave her a wicked grin. “Are you sure, love? I am a soldier... I might be able to surprise you."</p><p>"Right now, I think you have something to prove," she whispered. "You know what I'm capable of. Balls in your court, Rutherford."</p><p>"Consider yourself warned," he replied, pulling her in for a kiss on her lips. “So if you must know," he said before gently nipping her earlobe, "then I desire to fuck you senseless for every night I’ve had to spend without you next to me.” Closing his eyes, he snaked his hand between her folds and dipped his fingers in and out of her, watching as she began to shudder as he rolled her delicate pearl between his fingertips.</p><p>“Is that all?” Sam asked between gasps. When he heard the sound of her voice his eyes snapped open, staring into hers and watching intently as she began to breathe deeply. “What else do you want, my love?”</p><p>Seeing her start to lose herself at his touch made him bolder- he began to move faster, alternating between moving his fingers inside her and flicking her sensitive button, watching as she vibrated with every touch, and when Sam arched her back and threw herself against him, it made him ache to have even more of her. “I want to taste you,” he whispered. “I want to feel your body dance across my tongue as I drink you in.”</p><p>“Then why are you still talking,” she asked, running her nails up and down his back. “Show me.” </p><p>“With pleasure,” he said, placing kisses on her inner thighs, absentmindedly stroking himself as he lowered his mouth to her folds, lapping her sweetness and smiling as he murmured her name. As she clenched his head between her thighs, he felt like he was drunk- his head was swimming with lust, trying to figure out which way was up or down as he lost himself in the taste of her. “Let go,” he said. “Show me how I make you feel, Sam.”</p><p>“I…” she stammered, unable to complete her sentence as he gently sucked. “Oh my god, Cullen- I’m coming!”</p><p>“We’ve got to have a talk about your language,” he chided as he sucked her harder, feeling her shudder all around him and pull his hair while she screamed his name. As she finished and gasped for breath, he smiled to himself- for the first time since she’d come home, his wife was silent. <em>Not for long</em>, he thought with a smile. </p><p>Kissing trails up her body as she panted, Cullen smiled as he lowered her on the bed and hovered over her. "I want to hear you scream my name as I bury myself inside you,” he said, leaning in and stroking her cheek as her green eyes tried to focus on his face. He poised himself over her, close enough to feel her heat, but using all his willpower not to enter just yet. Sam tried to arch her hips to meet him, but he gently used his hand to press on her chest, easing her back onto the bed. “I’m afraid not,” he teased. “You told me to talk to you about what I wanted, remember?"</p><p>“But I need you,” she panted, clutching desperately at him. “Cullen, please- I need you inside me, right now."</p><p>He almost broke right then, but he licked his lips and swallowed, tasting the remnants of her juices on his tongue. “I want to encase myself in you, and just when you think you’ve had enough, I want to ravish you over and over again, until you’re too sore to even think about leaving me tomorrow.” He took her nipples between his fingers, feeling how stiff they were and watching as she jerked every time, biting her lip to keep from crying out.</p><p>“Keep muffling my praises and I’m not going to give you what you want,” he said as he took her breast in his mouth, sucking gently on her soft peaks and grazing the tips with his teeth, watching as she writhed on the bed beneath him. “You asked what I want? I want to hear every utterance tumble from your lips. You had to hold them in for far too long, love- now, I want to hear each and every one of them,” he said, raising his head and stroking her cheek. "You were absolutely correct, love- we restrained ourselves in every way before. Now, when you’re in our home, I never want you to hold anything back from me... understand?” </p><p>She nodded, leaning into his touch and taking his fingers into her mouth and sucking them gently, making him shiver and moan as she took his fingers deeper into her throat. Closing his eyes, he lowered his head to her neck and took her tanned skin between his teeth, making her let out soft gasps of pleasure every time he connected with her. Cullen knew she would have bruises and he would instantly be pegged as the cause, but he didn’t care. "I want to mark this pretty skin of yours with my mouth, so the world can know I’ve had you in every way imaginable," he whispered, tracing the reddening spot with his tongue. "From the top of your head to the soles of your feet, you are mine, Samantha Rutherford,” he murmured, leaving even more marks around her throat and collarbone- he found himself savoring every gasp that emerged from her lips and her desperate attempts to push him inside her. “We hid for the last ten years, but now I need everyone to know you come home to me."</p><p>“Cullen,” she cried out, “Please-“</p><p>She didn’t get the chance to finish the sentence before he sheathed himself inside her, groaning in ecstasy at the feel of her around him. “Samantha,” he breathed, relishing in the feel of her wetness and warmth. “You are mine,” he said, punctuating his statement with a roll of his hips, burying himself deeper and deeper with every thrust. He didn’t know where he ended and she began- ultimately, he didn’t care. “My impossible girl,” he murmured, kissing her as he moved inside her, feeling her tighten around him and signaling her impending release. “I love you,” he whispered, holding her shoulders and pressing her to him, desperate to not leave an inch of space between them. </p><p>“I love you too,” she whispered as she kissed the space beneath his ear, sucking gently- it appeared that she was ready to leave a mark of her own. The thought of her claiming him as proudly as he had her made him twitch inside her, causing Sam to let out a soft gasp. Cullen smiled at her reaction, leaning back to place one hand between her legs to stroke her as he moved in and out, sending her over the edge. When she came, Sam let out a loud string of prayers and curses surrounding his name, driving him to find his own release and spill his seed inside her, watching in awe as her name tumbled from his lips before he collapsed next to her.</p><p>Hot and sweaty from his worship of her body, Cullen pulled Sam next to him and buried his face in her neck, placing soft kisses all over her. “I love you, Samantha Rutherford,” he whispered in her ear. “You mean more to me than anything else in the world, and I never want you to doubt that.”</p><p>“I love you too, she murmured sleepily, reaching up to twirl one of his curls that had been set free- he smiled, closing his eyes at the gentleness of her touch. “Still mad at me for interrupting your meeting?” </p><p>“I think you made it up to me,” he said as he kissed her neck, pulling her against him and running his hand along her side. “But I now know never to call your bluff- you’re a menace, Sam.”</p><p>“But I’m yours,” she said, taking and kissing his hand. “And you wouldn’t trade me for the world.”</p><p>“Never,” he agreed, stroking her hair and placing a soft kiss on her head, marveling at how they'd finally made their home together amid all this madness. </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>After arriving in Haven and speaking with Leliana and Josephine, Varric, Lana, and Bull settled into the tavern, ordering drinks and sitting at a table. Cassandra and Solas had retired to their rooms, leaving the three of them to their own devices, which for now consisted of drinking and speculating about Sam’s sudden disappearance. </p><p>“Five sovereigns says they were humping like nugs,” Varric said into his glass. “There’s not too much that would make Curly run out on a work meeting. I’m pretty sure if he was missing an arm, he’d still try to show up for training."</p><p>“I’m not taking that bet,” Bull said. “Sam looked a little too happy when she disappeared.” He pointed at Lana, staring at her with his good eye. “By the way, Boss, you still owe me an explanation on that one."</p><p>“Sam will explain and I will take that bet,” Lana said. “When it comes to work, Cullen is like a Mabari with a bone- Sam would have to be stark naked and launch herself at him with a trebuchet if he’s in the middle of something… and even then he might move her to the side until he finished his reports." Lana shrugged, chugging her drink. "It’s been ten years and he hasn’t gotten off his ass to do anything for his wife in all this time, why start now?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Varric said in a singsong voice and ordering another round. “People change, Hero. And your sister is pretty damn persuasive when she wants to be.” </p><p>“She is, but my brother-in-law is an idiot,” Lana said, slurping her third glass of ale. “If I had the chance to jump Ali after all this time, the breach could go fuck itself for a few moments- I have things to take care of.”</p><p>Bull laughed loudly, but Varric rolled his eyes. “Way more information than I ever wanted to know about you, Hero. But I can certainly see that you’re related to those two chuckleheads now.” He sipped his glass. “Funny, I sort of thought that someone who was the Hero of Ferelden and the Herald of Andraste would be a bit more prim and proper, though.”</p><p>“You try being dead and see how you turn out,” Lana said, finishing her drink. “I saved the world and almost died a virgin- how’s that for a sad state of affairs?” She got her new glass and took a long sip, starting to feel the effects. “I’m a little done with the whole ‘bite my tongue’ thing this go-round, seeing as it worked so well for me last time.” </p><p>“You are an interesting one,” Bull said, draining his fifth glass. He ordered another round, placing one of the glasses in front of her as well. Lana raised it and toasted, only spilling a little bit before taking a sip and setting it on the table. “Nice to see you in here and winding down- you both were wound too tight. Hope she got it out of her system, and I'm happy to help you release a little tension if you need it, Boss.”</p><p>“If I weren’t still pining for the love of my life, I’d ride the Bull like a magical show pony,” Lana said, ignoring Varric as he almost blew ale out of his nose. “But alas, my heart belongs to another.” She raised her glass and offered a toast. “To getting drunk instead of getting laid,” she chanted, clinking glasses with Bull.</p><p>“Speak for yourself, Boss- the night is still young, and the Bull takes all challengers,” he said with a wink. “I’m sure I won’t be too lonely around here.”</p><p>“I thought nights like these would be over when I stopped hanging out with Hawke,” Varric said, rolling his eyes. “ Looks like I’ve traded one hot mess for another.”</p><p>“But I have better breasts,” Lana slurred, pointing to herself and settling back in her chair. She was drunk, there was no doubt about it, but she was happy- she’d gladly accept the consequences and deal with the hangover in the morning. “Though they aren’t as big as Sam’s, I daresay mine had to be better than Hawke’s.”</p><p>Varric clapped a hand on her shoulder. “On that note, I think you just hit your limit, Hero- no more drinks for the Herald tonight.”</p><p>Lana frowned. “How many times must I tell you that I hate that name, Varric?” She reached over and punched him in the arm. “Just for that, you owe me another drink." </p><p>Before Varric could protest, they were all interrupted by the door opening, revealing a slightly disheveled Sam. “Hey guys,” she said guiltily as she strode into the tavern, her dark hair carefully fanned out over her shoulders. “What’s our next assignment?”</p><p>Lana looked at her and tried hard to suppress a grin, but Bull shook his head, speaking up instead.  “Looks like we’re going to Val Royeaux- the Boss needs to talk to the remaining Chantry mothers out there. Your spymaster and ambassador think that if we can talk with them, we can show them that you and the boss aren’t the heretics they think you are.”</p><p>Varric nodded. “The best way to control a story is to get in front of it. Maybe we can get at least some of them to think twice about the nonsense the Chantry’s spewing about us.” </p><p>“This sounds delightful,” Sam said, taking Lana’s glass and avoiding their eyes. “Who’s going? It’s not another swamp, is it? If that’s the case, I’ll politely decline- someone else can go and I’ll gladly sit that trip out."</p><p>Lana glared at her sister as Sam sipped the remainder of her drink, but decided to go a different route. “We haven’t decided yet- no one could find the Commander,” Lana remarked innocently, watching as Sam turned about four shades of purple in front of them. “You haven’t seen him by chance, have you? Leliana and Josephine wanted to run a few things by him in a meeting earlier, but he had to race out… He said he wasn’t feeling well.” Lana looked at Bull, resting her head on her hand thoughtfully. “I do hope he’s ok…” She tapped her cheek with her finger. “Speaking of that, dear sister, how are you feeling?” Lana asked sweetly. "You know... since you traveled ahead of us to get some rest and all?” Lana leaned forward, relishing in Sam’s obvious discomfort. “Did you get a chance to... rest, Sam?"</p><p>Sam glared at her, draining the last of Lana's drink and saying nothing while Lana grinned, happily drunk and enjoying herself immensely. Soon, Cullen walked into the tavern and Lana let out a loud chortle, standing up and waving to the Commander, albeit quite unsteadily. “Ah, Commander- you got my message!"</p><p>“I did… Herald,” he said, trying to avoid looking Lana in the eye. “I apologize for not being here for your arrival- I was feeling unwell.” </p><p>“Funny, I thought you’d be feeling right as rain,” Varric mumbled, causing Lana to giggle. “Wonder what’s going around- based on the rashes on you and Sparrow, it must be contagious,” he remarked as he sipped his ale. </p><p>“OMG, I’m going to die,” Sam muttered, slinking low in her seat. “Lana, what did I do to you to deserve this?”</p><p>“You took all the snacks with you,” she replied simply. “And then you drank my ale.” She looked sadly at the empty glass, tipping it in her mouth and feeling very disappointed at the lack of liquor inside. “Maker, I really wanted that ale."</p><p>“This must be the husband,” Bull said, extending his hand to Cullen. “The Iron Bull, leader of Bull’s Chargers, at your service.” </p><p>“I am,” he said, shaking Bull’s hand. “Cullen Rutherford, Commander of the Inquisition- happy to have you and your men with us.”</p><p>He gestured to Sam, still trying to slide under the table. “Big fan of your work,” Bull said with a chuckle. “Between the hero and the savior, I’m quite entertained this evening."</p><p>Lana watched with delight as Cullen put his arm around Sam, brushing her hair off her shoulders to place a kiss on her cheek, revealing a veritable slew of love bites surrounding her sister's neck and collarbone. Lana raised an eyebrow at him, and instead of being bashful or irritated as she expected, the Commander just smirked, causing Lana to let out a loud laugh as she tried to order another drink, which Bull promptly canceled. “Well, that’s not what I was expecting,” she said, turning to Varric and pointing at Sam. “How about you?"</p><p>Varric also noticed Sam’s new look, turning to Lana with a grin. “You owe me five sovereigns, Hero.” </p><p>“To see my sister practically die of embarrassment and see my brother-in-law strutting around like a peacock? Best five sovereigns I’ve ever spent in my life,” Lana replied, digging in her purse to pay the dwarf. “But I really can’t wait to see how she tries to hide that from Leliana tomorrow."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Well, that escalated quickly</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The team arrives in Val Royeaux</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Lana awoke in her cabin to Solas sitting next to her and handing her a glass of something that was oddly thick and green. “Ugh,” she croaked. “My mouth feels like I’ve been making out with a druffalo.” Groaning and bleary-eyed, she sat up and smoothed her hair, looking around the room. "Where is that blasted toothbrush and toothpaste?” </p><p>“Considering your state when Bull brought you back to your room, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did get up to some shenanigans with the livestock,” Solas said with a chuckle. “But I’m happy to report that both your dignity and the decency of our druffalo population is still intact, dear Herald.” He offered her the green concoction, a soft smile on his face. “Here, this should help with your aches and pains this morning.” </p><p>“Not you too,” Lana groaned, taking the drink that was teetering dangerously between a liquid and a solid. “Just Lana, please.” </p><p>“As you wish… Lana,” he replied. “It seems you and your sister have both gotten up to a few misadventures since returning to Haven- I’ve had to heal her this morning as well since Leliana informed me we couldn’t very well have Sam going to the capital looking like she fell into a vat of leeches.”</p><p>“You should’ve let her keep them- it would've served them both right,” Lana said with a grimace as she began to drink the potion. “Maker’s breath, this is terrible, Solas!”</p><p>“The cure is never as fun as the cause,” he chided, tapping the glass with his finger. “Your curious items are on the table- Sam left them and a breakfast item for you when she left.” He stared at her mildly. “Would either of you care to explain what they are? I must admit, I’m at a loss as to their function.”</p><p>“I discovered them when I was in Sam’s world,” she said as she filled a cup with water. “When Mom sent Sam back, it seems she made sure to send us with a few comforts, and I’m not complaining.” Lana grinned as the elf watched her brush her teeth with interest. “Since I’ve returned, I’ve never smelled or felt better… minus the glowing green mark, that is.” </p><p>“I notice that you two never seem to be concerned about running out of these items you love so much,” he said, gesturing to the burrito Sam had thoughtfully left for her. “It seems that she was able to fit quite a few items from her world into that pack she brought with her.” </p><p>“Meh.” Lana shrugged, warming the burrito in her hands. “Sam can rewind things to a previous state, like her mom. So she’s just been bringing it back every time. Quite efficient, actually,” Lana said, taking a huge bite of the sandwich. “It works for us.”</p><p>“That’s quite a talent,” Solas said as Lana shoved the last of the burrito into her mouth. “Is it only items from her world, or can she do the same with things from here?” </p><p>“We never tried,” Lana said, wiping her hands and standing up, feeling human again. “Or if she has, she never told me.” </p><p> “I’d be curious to see if she could,” Solas said, rising from his seat. “Are you feeling okay now, Lana?”</p><p>“Much better,” she replied, stretching. “All I have to do now is get ready. Thank you for your help, Solas- I would be a wreck without you.” <br/>
 <br/>
“It’s no trouble,” he said with a smile. “So, who is traveling with you? Do you need all of us to accompany you?”</p><p>Lana shook her head. “I’m taking Varric, Sam, Bull, and Cassandra. The Chantry are jerks at the best of times, and I would like you to keep an eye on Blackwall for me- Sam still is having issues with reading him, and that makes me nervous.”</p><p>“You trust her opinion quite a bit,” Solas remarked. “Sometimes even more than the opinions of those on your council. She doesn’t have military or subterfuge experience, and we’ve all noted she isn’t from here- why do you trust her so much?” </p><p>She raised an eyebrow at the elf. “It seems that you’re quite nosy this morning,” Lana teased as she reached in her chest for new clothes. “What’s with the sudden interest in Sam?”</p><p>The elf had the decency to look embarrassed. “Ir abelas, Lana- I didn’t mean to come off as rude. It’s just been quite a while since I’ve encountered another dreamer such as myself, but her abilities are so different from my own- it’s rather fascinating."</p><p>Lana frowned. “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I don’t know what you said a moment ago. Can you translate for me?”</p><p>“My mistake,” he said. “It means ‘I’m sorry’. I thought you understood elvish as Sam does.”</p><p>“Nope, languages are her department. Mom only taught me English- Sam’s the one who knows all of them. I got all the elemental magic instead,” Lana said with a grin. “Well, that and the ability to close rifts, but that’s a new one.” </p><p>“We can’t deny its usefulness, however,” Solas said with a smile. “I shudder to see where we’d be if you couldn’t.”</p><p>“According to Varric and Bull, ass-deep in demons,” she said with a laugh. “So all things considered, I think we’re doing pretty well.” </p><p>“I would agree, Lana.” He walked toward the door, pausing for a moment. “In fact, I think you are doing better than anyone could have ever expected when we found you in the temple that day.”</p><p>“It seems to be my way,” Lana said with a shrug. “I’ll find you when we return if that is all right with you- I’d like to continue our discussions on the Fade if we can.”</p><p>“I’d like that very much,” he replied as he walked out the door, leaving Lana to get ready to head out.</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>After Cullen left in the morning, I began to get ready, slowly shuffling around the cabin. I was a little embarrassed- Solas had offered me a hangover cure and healed my neck, much to the dismay of a certain Commander, who was quite proud of his handiwork and said that the insufferable Orlesians might even appreciate it. However, we found out that Leliana disagreed with his assessment, as she showed up at our door early in the morning with the elf and a scowl for my husband, chiding him on not showing appropriate restraint when we had missions to complete. </p><p>As I was packing my bag, I heard a soft caw from the windowsill and turned to see Baron Plucky, staring at me with a letter and a small pouch tied to his leg. Curious and hopeful, I walked over to the bird, extending a hand and stroking the top of his head. “Hello, Baron- how are you this morning?”</p><p><em>Hungry</em>, he replied. <em>And tired. But I have your message, Samantha. </em></p><p>I let out a soft gasp of shock, taking the parcels from the bird and setting out a small cup of water and some trail mix. “Is this from Grace?” </p><p>He gave me a small tilt of his head. <em>It is. Thank you for the food- I have been flying for quite some time, and I am sure the Nightengale is worried about me. </em></p><p>“She’ll definitely be happy to have you back,” I replied. “You are her favorite, you know.”</p><p>The bird puffed up at that, sitting a little taller on the ledge. <em>And I am quite fond of her.</em></p><p>“Then it's a match made in heaven,” I laughed. “Thank you for this- I’ll let you get some rest, ok?”</p><p>He nodded and gobbled down the last of the trail mix before flying off. When he had gone, I unfolded the letter, eager to hear from my sister from a world away. </p><p>
  <em>--</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Squeak,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>OMG, I can’t believe you actually sent that big motherfucking bird to give me a letter! I damn near had a heart attack when it came and landed on my bed and I had to stop John from shooting it, but I guess it’s worth it to hear from my little sis. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Whoa, just caught myself- guess I have to be a bit more specific now, don’t I? Lana’s alive? Why does it not surprise me that Mom is behind it? At any rate, tell her to write to me- I want to get to know her and make sure she’s watching out for you since I can’t be around to do it. Sisters have to stick together, you know? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And before I forget, hold on a moment- MY LITTLE SISTER GOT MARRIED AND NO ONE TOLD ME? What the hell, Squeak? You’ve been keeping a lid on that since I saw you? How fair is that?  I feel so out of the loop right now. Thanks for the picture- he’s cute and all, but I hope he makes you happy. Trust me, that’s the most important thing- life is too short to be miserable. I want to meet him- you can’t just spring the fact that I have a brother-in-law on me, kid. Don’t worry, I’ll talk to Mom and figure something out- you know we always come up with something. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sam, you know I’m terrible at advice, but I’ll tell you one thing- get out of your head. You’ve always been the one I thought would save the world, and now you get the chance to do it. If there’s one thing I’ve learned out here, it’s that family comes in the most unlikely of places- you just have to be open to it. As for your friend not being the same, I’m not surprised- you ditched her for the last ten years trying to bury your head in the sand. Sorry, but you fucked that one up, kiddo- it’s on you to fix it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As far as the other guy who you think is a work friend, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. A friend is a friend, and when you don’t have any, take what you can get. Hell, Mac started as a partner on one of my first jobs out here, and you see how that turned out. Stop worrying so much- give people a chance and stop judging things before they ever start. And regarding the spy, the profession doesn’t dictate what kind of person someone is. Hell, look at me and John- we’re not what comes to mind when you think of government, but I think we work pretty fucking well.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Let’s be real though- you were always shit at making friends, Sam. You’re too closed off and you always had your head buried in something or another. You need to take a moment to talk to people, listen to them, hang out with them. I’m sure that’s how you got so close with Lana and Cullen- why would it be any different for anyone else? Once they get to know you, I’m sure they’ll love you as much as I do- if not, they can go to hell. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>God, I miss you, Squeak- I feel like I just got my sister back and now I’ve lost you again.  Don’t be a stranger- keep writing to me, okay? And tell that husband of yours and sister of mine to keep in touch- we’re family, and you know how I feel about family sticking together. Plus, your nephew and niece are worrying the shit out of me- Shaun sent you and Lana something, so please write that boy back and tell him thanks before I punt his ass out a window (I’m kidding… mostly). I have one too, so now we’re a trio- just a little way for us to all be together, even when we’re apart.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love you to the moon and back,</em><br/>
<em>Grace</em>
</p><p>—<br/>
<em> Well, that’s Grace for you, </em>I thought.<em> All truth, no filter- you can never say you don’t know you stand with her. </em>Shaking my head, I folded the letter and sat it on the nightstand and laughed as I opened the pouch. <em>That little nubbin,</em> I mused as I found the two tiny wire bracelets my nephew had made for us. Trying hard not to cry, I slipped the bracelet on my wrist and placed the other in my pocket to give to Lana.</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Varric was looking through his bag when he noticed Cullen exiting the Chantry and heading toward the training grounds. “Morning, Curly,” he replied. “Did Sparrow die from embarrassment last night, or is she just taking her sweet time getting ready?”</p><p>Cullen laughed, surprising the dwarf. “She’s getting ready to leave- just repacking her satchel.” He let out a sigh, then shook his head. “Maker, it never gets any easier.”</p><p>“Watching her go?” Varric asked. When Cullen nodded, Varric gave him a soft smile. “If it makes you feel any better, Bull and I are going with her- the big oaf seems determined to get her to make friends, which I’m inclined to agree with. Might make all of our lives easier later on if she does.”</p><p>“Why is that?” Cullen asked, giving him a curious look. “What’s going on?”</p><p>“You may not have noticed this since you’re so smitten, but your girl is a bit abrasive to anyone she doesn’t already know.” Varric looked at Cullen, trying to gauge his expression. "Has she always been like this?” </p><p>Cullen thought about it for a moment. “No,” he said finally. “She was happier before Lana died… more open.”</p><p>The dwarf nodded. “I figured. We gotta crack that shell of hers, Curly, or she’s gonna go nuts out here.”</p><p>“Makes sense- she thinks you simply tolerate her,” Cullen said simply. “Honestly, she thinks the only real friends she has are Lana and I.”</p><p>“Doesn't she know she's got me?” Varric asked, staring at the ground. He’d never meant to give the girl that impression he didn't care. Other than Curly, she was the only one who knew him from Kirkwall, and he enjoyed her company- if he’d done something to make her feel unwelcome, it wasn’t intentional. “I've liked her since day one- hell, I never knew she thought otherwise.” </p><p>“To be fair, she’d never tell you,” Cullen said gently. “She’s not the type- everything that is a feeling is hidden by a joke nowadays.”</p><p>“Seems like a family habit,” Varric replied. “Hell, if you can take the stick out of your ass and be sociable, then we should be able to get through to Sparrow.” Cullen chuckled, and Varric smiled. “Speaking of you, how’s it going?”</p><p>“Long days and short nights,” he answered with a yawn. “Never enough time to get all the things that I need finished.”</p><p>“I can imagine, but that’s not what I meant,” Varric said, adjusting the items in his bag and resting against it as he looked at the Commander. “I’m curious about you and your early retirement. How’s that going?”</p><p>“Ah,” Cullen said, rubbing his neck. “Nothing I can’t handle,” he replied. “Just a few headaches, though I can’t be sure if they’re due to that or the antics of Lana and Sam.” </p><p>Varric fixed him with a stare, not believing a word he was saying. “You tell Sparrow yet?” </p><p>“No, but I told Cassandra,” Cullen said with a shrug. “If anything dire should occur, she has a plan in place."</p><p>“Let me get this straight,” he said, shaking his head. “You told the seeker… but not your wife?” Cullen started to answer, but Varric cut him off. “Kid, you keep that up and you’re going to get murdered- you’re playing a dangerous game here.”</p><p>Cullen sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I know… I just don’t want her to worry unnecessarily. And you know full well she would,” he added. </p><p>“Doesn’t make it any less of an issue, Curly,” Varric warned. “If I were you, I’d get your shit together and talk to your wife… and I’d do it soon.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>
  <em>Stabby,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Um, WTF is up with Preachy and AngryPants kinfolk out here? We come into town and Mother Hen starts talking mad shit about us, calling all of us heretics. I swear, I didn’t even open my mouth, so you can’t even blame me for this one, I promise. And though I wanted to, I did not punch her- that was the other dude. Like for real, he just rolls up and jumps into her speech, and then has one of his Dementor boys knock the bird out cold- even I thought that was a little harsh. Then dude starts talking trash about all of Preachy’s sisters and then told us and the city to go fuck ourselves before mic dropping and saying peace out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>My god, I wish I still had internet and GIFs- I could explain this story so much better. Banana agrees with me, by the way.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>However, there are some bright spots- we met a crazy elf girl who makes me look sane, but she’s wicked with a bow and arrow. She’s not a fan of magic at all, so she’s not feeling Banana all that much, but she likes what we’re doing out here so she wants to roll with us. Since we got room in the van, we told her to join up- Team Mage still gives out cookies on Tuesdays, so now we’re coming to back the party with a plus one. We also got an invite to come and hang out with some of Dumbledore’s Army by the head of their house, and one of the Dementors wasn’t batshit crazy. He apologized for his boy beating the hell out of Mother Hen and told us to hit him back if we wanted to hook up with him and his crew. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>We would be coming back, but this city is worse than a college town- we got an invite to meet up with some lady and go to a party. Apparently, I look like gutter trash, so Storyteller is taking me and Banana shopping so we can roll up into this party like the rockstars we are. AngryPants refuses to wear anything that isn’t metal and shiny, so no shopping trip for her. She’s going to stay at camp with Oliver Twist and Ferdinand the Bull while we handle this- I give her about two hours before she ties Twisty to a chair, then about thirty minutes before Twisty breaks out of it. I’ll let you know how far over or under I was when we return. Ferdinand has promised to keep us apprised of the situation.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tell Ruffles we’re also going to pick up some coffee to bring back- it’s going to be better for all of us if Banana and I get a jolt of the good stuff in the morning. Also, if I see any good shoes, know that I gotcha covered- you’re my girl like that, plus we’re the same size and I can borrow them. </em>
</p><p><em>See ya when I see ya!<br/>
-Sparrow</em><br/>
—</p><p>Cullen turned to Leliana and Josephine, an amused smile on his face. “Either she’s getting better or we’re slowly losing our minds because I think I actually understood that letter.”</p><p>Josephine gave a soft laugh. “I think it may be a combination of both, Commander. Is my understanding correct? One of the templars punched a Revered Mother in the square?” </p><p>Leliana nodded. “Based on the reports from my scouts in the area, that would be the case. And this ’Twisty’ sounds like one the members of Red Jenny.”</p><p>Cullen paused for a minute. “Didn’t we run into them in Denerim all those years ago?” </p><p>“Yes, we did- it appears yet another item from our past is coming home to roost,” Leli replied. “I am curious about this party, though- I’ll have to ask you to have Sam send us a full report upon their return.”</p><p>“I daresay it sounds like you’re starting to enjoy her missives,” Cullen teased. “Otherwise I could just have a chat with her about their missions.”</p><p>“I see the value in them,” Leliana said with a smile. “Besides, what happens if you are otherwise occupied? Having her send reports is much more efficient, no?” </p><p>“Admit it, Leli, you like the reports," Cullen said with a smile as he looked at his wife’s note. As much as he chided her for sending such frivolous missives, he found them to be the bright spot of the war room meetings, plus hearing Leliana trying to utter Sam’s strange phrases with a straight face gave him immense amounts of joy. </p><p>“I do,” she said with a grin. “It makes me nostalgic for our days at camp, if I’m to be honest.” </p><p>Cullen let out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “Me too, Leliana… me too."</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>“Oh wow, this is gorgeous!” I exclaimed, pulling out a blue dress and pressing it against me. “I could totally rock this, guys.” </p><p>“Sam,” Lana pleaded, “Be reasonable! You do not need an Orlesian ballgown- just get the dress Varric told you to so we can get out of here! There are so many frilly things in this shop that I’m starting to chafe!”</p><p>“Do <em>not</em> mention chafing to me,” I warned. “I still have blisters in places that should not have blisters from our excursion to the coast.”</p><p>Lana raised an eyebrow as she grabbed the dresses and made her way to the merchant. “Are those from the coast or the Commander?”</p><p>I crossed my arms while Varric chuckled. “I hate you so much, Lana.”</p><p>Varric shook his head as Lana turned around, the wire bracelet dangling from her wrist as she blew me a kiss on her way to the register. “You two are something else, you know that?” I gave a soft grunt, and he chuckled again. “You know, I realize we haven’t gotten a chance to talk much since you left Kirkwall. How you been?”</p><p>“Better now that she’s back,” I admitted, watching as Lana stuck out her tongue at me. I returned the gesture, then upped the ante with a more obscene one of my own, causing the cashier to gasp and mutter something under her breath Lana couldn’t understand. “Ugh, that woman just called us peasant trash. Now I kinda want to go tell her about herself,” I grumbled. “Would that be a bad idea?”</p><p>“You’re the fortune teller, you tell me,” Varric said good-naturedly. “But before you get us tossed out the store,” he said, guiding me over to a corner. “You got a minute?”</p><p>I looked at him, concerned. “Yeah, sure. What’s on your mind, Varric?”</p><p>He looked down, staring at his feet. “I just wanted to say that I’m glad you’re here.” The dwarf looked up and gave me a wan smile. “We’re the last of the Kirkwall crew, you know… kinda nice having a little bit of home on the road with me. When you’re with us, it doesn’t feel so lonely out here.”</p><p>I snorted. “Varric, everyone loves you- you have to know you’re bae, right? Well, except for Cassandra- I think she might murder you if you give her a reason, but everyone else thinks you’re amazing.” </p><p>“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Sparrow. But you know, sometimes it’s just nice to have someone that knows you… you get that, right?” </p><p>I nodded. “Yeah, that’s Lana and Cullen for me. No matter what, I always know they’re gonna be there.”</p><p>“Um, am I chopped liver over here?” He poked me in my side. “Where do I fit in there?” </p><p>“To be honest, I always thought you just tolerated me because of Hawke,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “I didn’t think you hated me or anything, but I figured you could take or leave me.”</p><p>Varric let out a loud laugh, causing patrons to turn and stare at us. “Sam,” he said as he hugged me. “You’ve been interesting to me since I saw you in that bar draped all over Curly like a cheap suit of armor, so if you don’t have any other friends in this shitshow of a party, you better believe you got me.” He looked at me, searching my face to make sure I understood. “You’ve been around for way too long to even think otherwise, Sparrow. I even wrote a story about you and Curly, but since he swore me to silence about you, I never published it. Maybe now…” He looked thoughtful. “Whatcha think? Feel like being immortalized in print out here? We might have to change a few things now, but I think we might have a winner on our hands.” Varric gave me a grin. “Split the profits with you, 50/50.”</p><p>Finally, I laughed. “If you can convince my husband it’s a good idea, I’ll even do the illustrations.”</p><p>“It’s a deal,” he said with a smile. “Now come on, we need to get into these clothes and go see a duke or something.”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>Stabby,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’ve decided that the only thing I like about Orlais are the clothes and the food- the people can all go die in a fire. Well, except for Twisty, but I get the feeling she isn’t from here- as crazy as she is, she’s still too fucking normal. We get to this party, and this fucking douchenozzle starts trying to challenge Banana- we almost nug roasted him in the living room, but then the Iron Lady comes down looking like a Thedas version of Regina George and freezes him like a popsicle. She’s all over Banana, but the jerk thinks I’m apostate trash. She reminds me of the girls in high school, only with magic- this is not a good thing. She’s a mage, but even though she’s coming back with us, she is not on Team Mage. No cookies for her- I refuse to waste them. She’d probably just turn up her perfect little nose and say it’d ruin her perfect cocoa skin and tarnish her perfect figure. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The bitch has a hat with horns, people. Horns!  I swear, she’s like a bitchy version of a Disney Princess, if the princess could kill a motherfucker with her thighs and a thought.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I feel like I’m the weirdo stuck with the cool kids, and I am decidedly not feeling this situation. I mean, she talked about my clothes, and you know how much I love clothes- you know that it’s paining me to look like this out while I'm stuck out here. I hate her and her magic boob strap that keeps her perfect tits in place while she stabs a bandit in the face with her magic sword without breaking a nail. She’s all ‘circle mages rule, everyone else drools’. I’m with Twisty on this one- I think I’m going to help her put a swarm of bees in her fucking horn helmet. She’s already got a perfect shaved head- I’m willing to bet the bitch will still look amazing with a bunch of bee stings on the top of her perfect head. She’ll probably manage to make it a fashion statement out here and all the nobles will start a run on bees. Fucking bitch. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>When I come home I’m going to help someone invent ice cream so I can cry and eat a gallon of it, right in her perfect fucking face. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yes, I’m jealous. No, I don’t care.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Sparrow.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>—</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Curly,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sparrow really does not like the Iron Lady- we did have to stop her and Twisty from putting bees in her hat while she slept. On the plus side, I think she likes Twisty now. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Granted, the Iron Lady is a bit much, but I’m thinking we may want to put together a B-team- keeping these three in the same place is a recipe for disaster. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Banana  </em><br/>
<em>—</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sparrow,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stabby is making me write this, even though I’ve already told you about this very thing- DO NOT STUFF HER HAT WITH BEES.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Besides, I think your breasts are perfect just the way they are, and I think it’s adorable when you drool in your sleep. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Curly</em>
</p><p>
  <em>—</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Curly,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I have to read these letters too, you know. And while I also think Sparrow looks amazing, these letters are not the time and place to discuss it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Scout</em><br/>
<em>PS: I’m with her and Twisty on the bee thing- the woman is insufferable. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>—</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Scout,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Out of all the things Sparrow says in her letters, you choose to chide me for that? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And for the love of the Maker, don’t encourage them- we have enough problems as it is.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Curly</em>
</p><p>--</p><p>Cullen turned to Leliana and sighed- he knew that leaving Sera and Sam together for long periods of time was not going to end well for anyone. “Do you think we even have enough alcohol in town to keep them from being at each other’s throats?” The Commander looked at the latest missive, letting out a deep sigh. “Maybe we should keep Sera and Sam away from each other- I don’t want them getting any more ideas.”</p><p>“You did want her to make friends,” Leliana chided. “And from the sound of it, she has." When Cullen glared at the spymaster, she let out a soft laugh, patting him gently on the shoulder. “But just in case, I'll do my best to make sure there are no bees nearby when we have dinner.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Team Mage 4 Lyfe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“Welcome back!” Josephine said brightly. “How was your trip?”</p><p>Lana tried to force a smile on her face, but it was strangled. “It was… eventful.” She looked back at the people in her party and sighed. “Josie, I would like to introduce Sera and Vivienne, our two newest members of the Inquisition.” She turned to the advisors, gesturing to each in turn. “Vivienne, Sera, meet Josephine Montilyet, our ambassador, Cullen Rutherford, our Commander, and Leliana, our spymaster."</p><p>“Twisty and the Iron Lady,” Cullen said to Leliana under his breath, who put a hand to her mouth. Lana grinned, knowing that her friends had been keeping up on the nug-wrangling that she’d been forced to endure over the last few days. She was tempted to send Sam home on her own- however, that would have left her alone with Sera and Vivienne, and she had no intentions of that happening at any point in the near future. She wondered how much Sam had complained to Cullen about the mage- judging by the smirk on his face, she guessed it had to be quite a bit. </p><p>“Welcome to Haven,” Josephine replied, extending a hand and ignoring Cullen. “We are happy to have you with us.”</p><p>By herself, Sera was a handful- the elf had a penchant for pranks and nonsense talk, and she was especially leery of Lana and her mark. Initially, she was just as hesitant to talk with Sam, but after Sera noticed Sam trying to trip the Imperial enchanter for stating how good it was for Lana to take on charity cases, she had started to overlook the magic that had made her nervous. Sam’s ability to stop time and her inability to not say what was on her mind at any given point had endeared her to the elf, causing the two to become co-conspirators in the ‘make Vivienne’s life miserable’ game. Lana was often forced to pull them back- the pranks were mostly harmless, but she didn’t need the two of them torturing Vivienne at every turn.</p><p>Right now, Sam was next to Sera, both of them shooting daggers with their eyes at Vivienne. As Vivienne stepped forward, the epitome of elegance and poise even after riding on a horse for the past few days, Sera leaned over and whispered something in Sam’s ear, causing her sister to giggle and nod. This exchange only made Lana roll her eyes even harder- after being stuck with the lot of them, Lana was quite happy to put some space between herself and the others.</p><p>Vivienne strode up to the front, smiling at the advisors. “It’s a pleasure to meet you all- as a representative of the Loyalist mages, I’m happy to offer any assistance necessary to see that the breach is closed.” </p><p>“Kiss-ass,” Sam muttered, causing Cassandra to glare at her and the others to titter softly behind them. Lana elbowed her sister, who scowled but kept quiet. </p><p>“Welcome back, Herald,” Cullen said with a grin, striding toward them. He’d obviously picked up on Sam’s ire and was hoping to ease some of the tension. “And welcome back to you as well, Sam,” he said as he hugged her. He paused for a moment, and Sam’s lips twitched- Lana smirked, knowing that they were talking amongst themselves. He released Sam, giving her a small kiss on the cheek before standing and returning to his post. “I trust the trip went well?”</p><p>“We should take this inside,” Lana said. “Josie, can you help Vivienne get set up, then meet us back inside so we can go over our plans. Bull, do you mind helping Sera get settled in?” She would have had Josie help her, but there was no way she was leaving the ambassador to deal with both of them. </p><p>“Not at all, Boss,” Bull said, taking the elf with him. “C’mon, Sera- they’ve got a tavern. Let’s show these boys how to drink a good ale, huh?” </p><p>“Def',” Sera said with a wide smile, then turned to Sam. “Oi, Sam, you in for a drink? Ready to leave these blokes alone with all their fancy-schmancy plans and get shit-faced with the rest of us?” </p><p>“I would,” Sam replied with a grin, “but I gotta go help Lana Banana in there. When we’re here, I’m one of the blokes- I just don’t need to be taken down a peg or two like some people."</p><p>Sera let out a laugh. “Nah, you’re right at ground level with us little people.” She ran over and punched Sam in the arm. “When ya get done bein' all important n' stuff, come’n find us, ‘kay? Won’t wanna see you get too big for your britches by hangin’ with bigwigs like these over here.”</p><p>“Fat chance of that,” Sam agreed. “I’ll be down there later- save me a seat?” </p><p>Vivienne turned up her nose at the two girls. “Why do you even need to attend their meeting, Samantha? You are capable of leaving your sister’s side for a few moments, correct? Why not run along with the girl and have a more… suitable afternoon.”</p><p>Lana groaned, watching as Sam’s face contorted into a snarl of rage. Leli and Cullen saw it too, and Leliana whispered something in Cullen’s ear, who nodded, striding back over and taking Sam by her shoulders, guiding her toward the chantry. “Come on, dear- we need you clear-headed to assist us.”</p><p>As Sam and Cullen began to walk off, Lana heard Vivienne stage-whisper to Josephine. “Is it proper for the Commander to interact with her in that manner?” When Josie looked at her in shock, she gave her a polite smile. “I mean no disrespect- it’s just that we don’t want the Commander to tarnish his or the reputation of the Inquisition with our allies. It would do him a disservice to be seen as engaging in a dalliance with an apostate mage, you know.”</p><p>When she said that, it was as if Sam had frozen time- she had to look around to make sure that she hadn’t. Cullen had tensed up, and she could feel the rage coming off her sister in waves- Leliana still had a pleasant smile on her face, but Lana could tell that she was annoyed. Even Cassandra was staring at the enchanter in shock. Finally, the Commander turned to the Iron Lady, his expression taut. “Lady Vivienne,” he said calmly, “I’ll have you know that first and foremost, Samantha Rutherford is a valuable advisor to the Inquisition- her advice and assistance to the Herald is quite needed in our meetings, I assure you.”</p><p>Vivienne raised her perfectly-groomed eyebrow. “Samantha Rutherford?”</p><p>“Yes, Madame de Fer,” Cullen said evenly. “Samantha and I have been married for quite some time, so I am happy to inform you that my reputation is not in danger of being damaged by an illicit affair- however, we thank you for your concern.” He looked over at Sam with a softer smile, then turned back to Vivienne. “But unfortunately, we do need to get to discussing important business, so Lana,” he said politely, "would you and Lady Cassandra kindly join us so we can discuss our next move?”</p><p>“Gladly,” Lana replied, taking Sam’s other hand and walking toward the Chantry, watching as the Imperial Enchanter’s mask of poise slipped a little bit at being forcibly reminded of her place.</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“Absolutely not,” Cullen replied. “You think the mage rebellion is more united? It could be ten times worse!”</p><p>“Oh, because you’re so fair-minded when it comes to us mages,” Lana retorted. “Forgive me, brother, but I think you may have a bit of a bias.”</p><p>I watched as Cullen reeled back as if Lana had slapped him. “Lana, that isn’t fair and you know it!” He slammed his fist on the table, causing me to jump back. "You’ve been dead for ten years- you have not seen what I’ve seen!”</p><p>To her credit, Lana didn’t back down- she crossed her arms and stared at him, daring him to look away. “And magic brought me back here, so pardon me if I don’t immediately jump to conclusions, particularly since I just saw one of these perfect templars punch a revered mother in the face in front of everyone.” Her expression was neutral, hiding the temper I could see boiling to the surface. “As of right now, I see no harm in speaking with Fiona. If you have a reason to object to that other than ‘I have issues', then I’ll be happy to hear it.” She looked down and examined her nails, then cut her eyes to him. "Otherwise, your objection has been noted and you can politely stuff the rest of your concerns in your ass, Cullen.” </p><p>I let out a gasp- Cullen turned an interesting shade of crimson, the veins in his neck pulsating with rage. “<em>Sam</em>,” he hissed, “Do you-"</p><p>My heart did a backflip and I groaned- I did not want to be in the middle of this.  I backed away, putting up my hands. “Nope. Not getting involved with this one.”</p><p>“<em>What</em>?” Cullen looked shocked. “You’re taking her side?” He glared at me, pointing at Lana angrily. "Sam, you saw what happened in Kirkwall- you’ve seen the fighting out there! I think-” </p><p>“No,” I said finally. “I think I need more information to make a decision. And trust and believe,” I said as I looked at Lana, who was fuming, "you don’t want me involved on this one, as I don’t want to take anyone’s side.” When I felt the prickles in my head, I looked at both of them angrily. “And no trying to talk to me silently- if you have an issue with each other, then talk to each other- not me.”</p><p>Lana sighed, putting her head in her hands. “Sam,” she said wearily, “you are the only one who can objectively answer this question. So I am asking you, not as my sister, but as my advisor, what happens if we go and speak with Fiona?”</p><p>“And what happens if we seek the assistance of the Templars?” Cullen cut in, fuming at Lana. “Or is that not even a decision you were interested in making, Herald?”</p><p>Lana pursed her lips, and I could see the ice gathering around her fingertips. I turned to Cassandra, who shook her head, gesturing to the two bull-headed people in the room, and I let out an exasperated sigh. “Lana, please do not encase my husband in ice, okay? I don’t want to have to rewind your spell and pass out because you two are in a snit.” </p><p>She let out a soft huff, but the ice began to dissipate. “Fine. But your husband needs to be more open-minded.” </p><p>“And your sister needs to consider all options,” he retorted. “It is my job to point these things out to you, Her-“ When he started to use her title again, I grabbed his hand and gave it a tight squeeze- instantly, he caught himself. “Lana,” he said wearily. "I am just trying to give you options… that is all.” </p><p>Lana started to snipe at him, but I shot her a look and she let out a loud sigh. “Sam, can you help me and tell me the consequences? If you must draw from my mark, please do, but I would like as much information as you can give me.”</p><p>“Do not endanger her for the sake of information,” Cullen warned, his voice low. He had conceded, but only slightly- his anger was still simmering on the surface, and he was looking for any excuse to pick the fight back up again.</p><p>“It’s okay,” I said. “I’ll be fine.” He started to say something else, but I had already closed my eyes, trying to see what I could. “If we don’t see Fiona,” I said slowly, dreading the argument I knew was coming, “Then the mages get conscripted into some kind of army.” </p><p>This made Cullen pause- he turned to look at me, his curiosity outweighing his anger. “What kind of army?”</p><p>I looked around at the advisors. “I’m not sure what this means, but I keep seeing this banner. Can I draw it for you, see if someone recognizes it?”</p><p>Everyone was silent for a moment- Finally, Cassandra spoke up, tired of waiting on Lana or Cullen to respond. “Please do, Lady Samantha,” she said, handing me my bag. “I’m sure one of us can help.”</p><p>Grateful for someone who hadn’t lost their mind, I nodded, reaching for my sketchbook and my pencil. Quickly, I began to draw the banner I had seen in my vision, turning it around so everyone could see. “Does anyone know what this means?”</p><p>Cassandra gave an almost imperceptible shudder as she studied the banner. “Venatori,” she whispered. “It’s worse than I thought.” She turned to me, pointing at the banner on the page. “Are you sure this is what you saw?” I gave her a withering look, and she exhaled. “We have a problem,” she said curtly. </p><p>Exhausted from the effort, I slumped a little- Lana came over to me, rubbing my shoulders. “What is it, Cassandra?”</p><p>The seeker looked at Cullen, then to Lana, her face grave. “The Venatori are a cult… from Tevinter.” </p><p>Cullen went pale. “So now we have a group of mages being controlled by a Tevinter cult?” He turned to me, running his hands through his hair. “Sam, are you sure?”</p><p>“Why does everyone keep asking me if I’m sure,” I hissed. “I just got a fucking migraine making sure, thank you very much. And as for the templars, your boy who called for a round of Mike Tyson’s punch-out is really a demon. So there you have it- you now have information.” My stomach rolled, and I began to grip Lana’s hand tightly. “Oh my god, I’m going to throw up… right now. Excuse me,” I croaked, racing out the room to lose my lunch… right on Vivienne, who had taken that unfortunate moment to barge into the war room.</p><p>“Fucking hell,” I groaned, pushing past the enraged enchanter and disappearing, not caring one bit who saw me or if I used the last of my energy. </p><p>—</p><p>When I woke up, I felt warm hands rubbing my back. “Am I dead?” </p><p>“Funny, I thought we were only allowed one resurrection per household,” Lana said gently. “As I seem to have used it, I should think you’re more than alive, Sam.”</p><p>“Not for long,” I grumbled. “When black barbie gets ahold of me, I think I’m going to be the one barbecued.” I put my face in the pillow and let out a muffled scream. “I can’t believe I just did that!” I rolled on my back, rubbing my face. “God, I feel like my brain is trying to leap out of my skull, Lana.”</p><p>“Let me see what I can do,” she said, running her hand over my head and letting her magic wash over me. “How’s that?”</p><p>“Better,” I said. “Hand me my bag- I think Mom put a tiny first-aid kit in there. If there is a God, Maker, Flying Spaghetti Monster, something, then there will be Tylenol in there.”</p><p>“You are a strange one,” Lana said with a chuckle as she handed me the bag. “And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to put you in that position back there.”</p><p>“Not me you should be apologizing to,” I responded, digging inside for the first-aid kid. Happily, I found it and I found the travel-sized bottle of medicine. “Thank god,” I murmured, opening my water canteen and popping the pills in my mouth. I’d have to refill them both soon, but I was too darn spent to even try right now. “I hope you guys are ok,” I said, looking at her for any signs that I might have a Cullen-shaped ice sculpture outside. </p><p>“Well, if it makes you feel any better, your exit was quite entertaining- it certainly stopped Cullen and I from fighting,” Lana remarked. “We’re going to Redcliffe in the morning, by the way.” </p><p>I turned to look at Lana, checking to see if she was serious. “And my husband agreed to this?”</p><p>She shrugged. “He wasn’t pleased, that’s for sure. But he also agreed with me that we can’t let mages be conscripted into a Tevinter army. So at the very least, we’re going to talk to Fiona and see if we can get any information on what the hell is going on around here.”</p><p>“And the templars?” I asked, taking out the tiny ice pack and handing it to Lana. “You mind freezing this for me?” </p><p>She looked at it curiously, then her eyes widened. “Oh, it’s the tiny pack of ice! Mom gave me one of those when I bumped my head in your world.” I just stared at her, then looked back at the pack, and she gave me a sheepish grin. “My mistake- you need this.” She used her magic to freeze it, then placed the compress on my head- I let out a contented sigh. “As for the templars, Leli is going to do some digging- if they’re all corrupted, then we have no idea who we can trust.”</p><p>“Better than nothing,” I groused, closing my eyes. “Speaking of Templars, where is my husband? How did you get on 'keep an eye on Sam' duty?”</p><p>“I volunteered,” she replied. “I also didn’t want Vivienne duty, so it was a win,” she admitted. “I left them to sort her out, and I went to go check on you. Seeing as I was the one to push you, I figured I should be the one to help.”</p><p>“I did all that on my own,” I replied, savoring the cold on my skin. “I probably shouldn’t have tried to see out that far. I feel kinda bad, I should have looked and checked more about what the middle was, but I didn’t have the time- sorry, Lana Banana.” </p><p>“You did what you could,” she said as she laid down next to me, extending her arms so I could snuggle into them. “It was more than I had to go on before, and it gave me enough information to get through to everyone. We can learn more when you see Fiona.” </p><p> I turned to Lana, opening one eye. “I don’t like it when mom and dad fight.” Lana frowned, then gave me a tiny smile- I giggled softly. “But seriously,” I said, “you’re both too important to me- I don’t want you guys fighting like that."</p><p>“Meh, that was nothing,” Lana replied, rubbing my hair. “We’re family- I’ve been yelling at him for years now… you were just never around to see it,” she said with a grin. "We’re too much alike,” she remarked. “We’re both pig-headed and righteous, and neither of us wants to back down or listen when we have a bee in our bonnet about something. That’s my brother,” she said resolutely. “We always come together when we need to, don’t you worry about that one. But we’ll make an effort to leave you out of it- pulling you in the middle isn’t fair to you, and I’m sorry for it."</p><p>“All forgiven,” I replied, hugging her tightly. “Speaking of bees,” I looked around the room, then up at Lana. “How much does Vivienne want to kill me?”</p><p>“Let’s put it like this,” Lana said, hugging me back and kissing my head. “Part of the reason we’re leaving out so early is so she doesn’t find you.” </p><p>“I thought as much,” I grumbled. “God, I hate that woman, Lana Banana.”</p><p>“I know Sam,” she cooed. “She irritates me, too.” She gave me a wicked smile, then started smoothing my hair. “Good work on showing her how Team Mage does it, though- I daresay the haughty bitch will knock before she tries to barge into a room again." </p><p>“Always down to help,” I replied, burying my face in my sister’s arms. “Team Mage for life, Lana Banana."</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>Nia was sitting in the garden, humming to herself when she heard the flutter of wings next to her. “Ah, you’ve returned. How was your trip?”</p><p><em>Eventful</em>, he replied. <em>Your son in law tried to shoot me, Nia. </em></p><p>“I warned you,” she said with a smile, settling back and crossing her legs. “There was a reason I needed someone like you for this type of job.” </p><p><em>It’s not what I expected when you came to me that day, that is for certain,</em> Baron Plucky agreed. Nia created a piece of bread for him to eat and he gobbled it down eagerly, staring at her with his beady red eyes.<em> I can barely remember that life anymore. </em></p><p>Most people Nia employed preferred service to death, and Hawthorne was no exception. When she offered the pilot the choice all those years ago, he'd taken her deal without a second thought. “Do you regret your choice?” she asked simply, staring at the bird and watching for his reaction. It wasn’t her way to take anyone that wasn’t already set to be removed from the timeline, but Nia knew that feelings could change and choices could be regretted. Unlike the others, she was never interested in holding someone who did not wish to be there- with her, there was always an out. </p><p>The bird paused, thinking about it for a moment, which she appreciated.<em> No, I suppose I don’t,</em> he said thoughtfully. <em>When you think about it, this life is remarkably similar to my old life- crossing the stars and getting people what they need when they need it.  It seems that just the vessel has changed. </em></p><p>“That was the idea,” she said with a smile. “Are they behaving themselves over there?”</p><p><em>Somewhat</em>, he replied, the humor evident in his tone. <em>Your daughters seem to cause quite a stir, Nia.</em></p><p>“Are they taking care of each other?” Nia asked. “I’m trying to be a bit more hands-off this time.” </p><p><em>They are</em>, the bird replied. <em>But I fear that Samantha may have attracted a bit of extra attention. </em></p><p>Nia sighed, then turned back to her flowers. “I must admit, staying out of this is becoming harder than I thought, Baron." She shook her head sadly, staring out into the distance. "This part is always the worst for me.”</p><p>Baron Plucky hopped over to her, nuzzling her with his head. <em>You know you have to let them handle this. It's their task, not yours.</em></p><p>“I’m well aware of that fact, bird,” Nia replied tersely. “On a related note, does he suspect anything?” </p><p>The bird shook his head. <em>Right now, she’s a curiosity, a puzzle- nothing more, and</em><em> Lana notices a bit more than most but keeps it to herself.</em> Baron Plucky let out what might be considered a chuckle.<em> It seems you adopted a smart one this time, Nia. </em></p><p>“I didn’t choose her, Sam did,” Nia said with a smile. “I’m just glad it’s working out."</p><p>Had he still been human, his expression would be one of concern. <em>Cheer up,</em> he said brightly. <em>You’ve done everything you could this time- they will be fine. </em></p><p>Nia let out a sigh as she stroked the bird's feathers. “I just hope they are up for the challenge, friend- they’ve got a long road ahead of them.”</p><p><em>I'm sure they are,</em> Baron replied as he leaned into her touch. <em>If they stick together, your girls are quite the team.</em></p><p>She laughed as she scratched him behind his wing. "Then we should do everything we can to make sure that they stay that way."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Rebel, Rebel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Team Mage goes to Redcliffe</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“Ah,” I said as we approached Redcliffe, “This brings back memories.” I stared out over the at the town as we rode in. “I feel like we’re on a greatest hits tour, Lana.”</p><p>Solas just smiled at me, his expression pleasant for once. “That may be, but I’m just grateful to be out of the town and away from our newest companions, thank you very much.” </p><p>“I would think you’d rather enjoy spending time with an elf and another mage,” Lana replied cheekily. "What’s wrong, Solas? Not getting along with our newest compatriots?”</p><p>“Hardly,” he sniffed. “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather banish the both of them. That Sera is insufferable in her insolence, and Vivienne is as elitist as they come. For all her power and knowledge, she cannot bear to think that there is someone out there who is not trained by one of her precious circles that may know as much or more than her.”</p><p>“Good to know she hates you as much as she hates me,” I groused, crossing my arms. I had made my way to the outskirts of town under the cover of my charm, hoping to avoid her, making Cullen laugh when he realized what I’d done. Cassandra had volunteered to stay back with Sera and Vivienne, while Blackwall was assisting Cullen with the training of the troops, leaving Bull, Solas, Varric and I to go with Lana. My husband had protested my going, of course, but this was easily countered by me needing to be around Fiona and seeing what the hell was going on with these Venatori. When he finally relented, it was only with a promise that I serve as a walkie-talkie, instantly relaying anything to the advisors, hence the need for Blackwall to be on training duty. “That woman thinks I’m worse than the dirt beneath her shoe. I wish Grace was here- she’d have knocked her upside her head for that a couple of times by now.”</p><p>“Your sister sounds…<em>feisty</em>,” Bull said with a grin. “Any chance she’s coming to join you two?” </p><p>Lana let out a barking laugh. “You haven’t met Grace, Bull… or her boyfriend. I daresay he’d have an issue with it.” She turned to me and smirked. “Though I do think I’d like to have her on our side out here- she’d charge a dragon if she thought it looked at us funny.”</p><p>I’d forgotten about the fact that Lana had met a version of Grace. “Husband now, remember?” I said with a laugh. “And yeah, John would try to carve you up like a turkey if he thought you were hitting on her, Bull. Personally, I prefer you like this, so if you meet her, I'd keep your hands off the merchandise, ok?” </p><p>“But she sounds perfect,” Bull said with a teasing grumble. “Why’d we get you instead of her, Squirt?” </p><p>“Because when you order the deluxe package, I come with it,” I replied, poking him in the side- Varric and Lana grinned at the exchange. “And besides, I thought you were my friend, Bull- way to make a girl feel wanted.”</p><p>“Well excuse me for trying to get in on the action,” he teased. Then he scooped me up, placing me on his massive shoulders- I shrieked at the sudden movement, then laughed, holding onto his neck with my thighs. “Is that better?” </p><p>I leaned my elbows on his horns, resting my head on my hands. “I suppose you’re forgiven. Lana, are we giving him a membership card? I haven’t decided yet.”</p><p>Lana pretended to think, smirking at the two of us. “Are we recruiting again? You’re willing to accept new members now?” </p><p>Smirking, I stuck my tongue out at her. “Forgive me for not having a membership drive when our president was dead as a doorstop,” I teased. “But since we need to rebuild the ranks, I might be cool with adding a few new faces.” I leaned over, staring at Bull and grinning. “So how ‘bout it, Bull? Feel like joining Team Mage? We don’t fight archdemons on Tuesdays anymore, but I’m thinking rift closing might be a nice benefit. Also, we have cookies!”</p><p>Bull chuckled. “Sign me up, Squirt.” He jerked his thumb at Solas and Varric. “What about these guys over here? Your crew got room for a few more?”</p><p>“I dunno,” I said, looking over at the elf and the dwarf. “You guys with us? Team Mage for life?” </p><p>“Damn straight, Sparrow!” Varric replied. "Been wondering when you’d figure it out. Bianca would be lonely if you left her out,” Varric said with a grin. “What about you, Chuckles? You all set to join in on the shenanigans that these two get up to?”</p><p>Lana laughed, reaching out and placing an arm around Solas and giving him a light hug. “Yeah, Solas- how about it? Team Mage could always use an adult presence- I mean, look who’s on our team.” She gave the elf a bright smile. “And even though you’d never admit it, I think you like hanging around with us.” </p><p>“Yeah, it has to be better than hanging out by yourself and sleeping all the time,” I added. “Trust me, life’s much better when you find idiots to share it with. I spent way too much time dreaming and not enough time living until I found Lana.” </p><p>“Found?” Solas asked curiously, looking back and forth between the two of us. “I thought you were sisters.”</p><p>“We are now,” I said, looking fondly at Lana. “Mom adopted her, and when that woman does anything, she goes full-throttle.”</p><p>Solas looked at Lana, who shrugged. “It’s true,” she replied, pointing to her eyes. "I am now and forever part of the Roberts clan, and considering how well I was treated by my own family, I’m not exactly disappointed by that."</p><p>“You two are odd ones,” Varric said, shaking his head. “Freaky shit seems to follow the three of you wherever you go. Sure your mom didn’t adopt Hawke, Sparrow?"</p><p>“Nah, cause if she did, I’m sure she’d still be kicking his ass- running off with that twat has to be the dumbest thing he’s ever done,” I growled from Bull’s shoulders. “Hell, I owe him an ass-kicking… if I could do it.” I leaned down and looked at Bull, placing a loud kiss on his forehead. “You’d punch him for me, wouldn’t you?”</p><p>“You know it,” he replied with a rumble in his voice. “Just point me in the right direction."</p><p>Varric chuckled. “Well, Sparrow, you did punch Blondie in the face… does that count?”</p><p>“Not enough,” I chuckled as we entered the town. “Well, Lana, at least there isn’t a legion of undead waiting to attack us, so I can count that as a positive.” </p><p>She raised an eyebrow and pointed to a familiar looking face that was standing near the tavern. “Speaking of the undead, do you see that man over there?”</p><p>I put my hand over my eyes and squinted, then let out a gasp. “No shit! Is that-“</p><p>“Connor Eamon,” she said with a grin. “Do we count him as our brother or something?” </p><p>“I would,” I said thoughtfully, "but that means I’d have to claim Isolde and Eamon. Since I still want to kick them in the throat, I think we may have to pass. I gotta tell Ali about this, though.” </p><p>“I’d appreciate that,” Lana said wistfully, staring at her hands. “That man better get here soon- there’s too much going on for him not to be here.” She let out a sigh, then squared her shoulders as she turned toward the tavern. “But enough ruminating- we have a rebellion leader to see, and a family reunion to attend to, right?”</p><p>“Right, Lana Banana.” I kicked Bull lightly in the shoulders, causing him to laugh. “C'mon, Bull! Horns up!” </p><p>Bull let out a bellowing laugh at that, turning his head to look up at me. “Who taught you that, Squirt? Krem?”</p><p>“Yep,” I replied brightly. “Apparently, Sera and I are honorary chargers now- they kept me safe from bitchy barbie last night.” </p><p>“Then you got it,” he said, heading toward the tavern with me on his shoulders, laughing loudly. “Horns up!"</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“Connor,” Lana said warmly. “It’s good to see you.”</p><p>“It can’t be… <em>Solana</em>? Is that you?” The boy looked at Lana and turned pale, no doubt trying to reconcile what he was seeing in front of him with what he knew to be true. “How is this possible? You died- Alistair and Anora said so.”</p><p>“Why does it not surprise me that Anora is still around,” Sam grumbled. “Can’t one-“</p><p>“It seems as if the world wasn’t quite done with me yet,” Lana said brightly, cutting off Sam before she could say something that would cause a riot. “Have you seen Fiona?” </p><p>“She’s in the tavern,” he said. Then he lowered his voice and looked around before speaking again. “She’s pledged our services to the magister,” Connor whispered. “Solana, take me with you,” he pleaded, grabbing her hand. “I cannot be responsible for any more bloodshed… I’ve done enough- I need to atone.” </p><p>Lana looked at Sam, who was leaning against Bull with her arms crossed, looking thoughtful. <em>Can we take him with us? </em></p><p><em>It doesn’t change anything,</em> she replied. <em>Ali’s gonna be over the moon, that’s for sure</em>. She shook her head, then let out a deep sigh. <em>I swear, this boy has some of the shittiest luck I’ve ever seen. I’m gonna see if Sera can shove a horseshoe in his pants- he’s like a walking broken mirror.</em></p><p>Against her better judgment, Lana chuckled. Sam smirked, then turned to Connor. “Guess we can make room for you. But if you team up with another demon, I’m gonna nug roast you myself, deal?”</p><p>Connor nodded. “I’ll be waiting for you out here with my things,” he said happily. “I promise, I won’t let you down.” He glanced toward the tavern. “Good luck,” he whispered, patting her shoulder before scurrying off. </p><p>“Well, it looks like you weren’t wrong, Sparrow,” Varric said with a sigh. “Anyone want to take bets on how long it’s gonna take for Curly to lose his shit when we tell him?” </p><p>“I’m not taking that bet,” Sam said as she headed inside the tavern. “We all know that’s a sure thing.” When she entered the bar, she scanned for the rebel mage leader, throwing up her hands when she spotted her. “Yo, Fiona, what the fuck happened in the last few days?”</p><p>Behind her, Lana heard Varric snigger at Sam’s outburst, and she smacked him on the arm “Don’t encourage her!” Lana hissed. “She’s more than enough by her lonesome!”</p><p>Fiona simply looked at Sam with confusion. “Do I know you?” </p><p>“Really? Are you seriously playing the ‘new phone, who’s this‘ game with us? You met us in Val Royeaux and told us to come and find you. You said you’d talk to us about helping the inquisition.”</p><p>“I’m afraid you’re mistaken- I haven’t been to Val Royeaux, and I <em>definitely</em> do not remember you. And as we are already indentured to the Magister, I’m afraid us helping you won’t be possible.”</p><p>“So,” Sam said carefully, “You’re deciding to help the Magister dude, right?”</p><p>Lana started to say something, but then she realized what Sam was doing- she was trying to see the consequences of the decision. <em>Well played, sister. </em></p><p>The corners of Sam’s mouth twitched slightly. <em>I do have my moments of not being a total moron, Lana Banana. Whatever I do next, just roll with it, okay?</em></p><p><em>All right,</em> Lana replied, curious about where this was heading. <em>I trust you.</em></p><p>Sam snapped her fingers in Fiona’s face, causing the elder mage to glare at her with irritation. “Yo, lady! I asked you a question!”</p><p>“And I already told you,“ Fiona snapped. “As I said, we are indentured to the Magister, so no, I will not help you.” </p><p>Sam put her hands on her hips, then stared at the leader of the rebel mages with a frown. Finally, she turned to Lana. “Sis, can I holla at you for a sec?” </p><p>Lana frowned right back- Sam normally didn’t ask for permission to have a side chat, so there had to be something going on. “Of course, Sam- what’s on your mind? Should we make this private or is this conversation Team Mage approved?”</p><p>“Team Mage all the way, baby,” Sam replied. “Lana, make this convo exclusive, would you?” </p><p>Fiona watched with curiosity as Lana gathered everyone into a small circle and cast a silence spell over the group, making it so no one outside could hear their conversation. “What’s on your mind, Sam?”</p><p>She bit her lip, staring at Fiona, who was more than a little curious by this point. “She’s got two timelines, Lana Banana.”</p><p>Lana frowned. “How is that possible? Is she like me?“</p><p>Sam shook her head. “Someone besides me is monkeying with timelines,” she said with a scowl. “And they’re sloppy- I’ve been noticing small things ever since we’ve gotten close to town, but now I’m convinced.“</p><p>Bull glanced over at Fiona. “I’m willing to bet it’s whoever they’re working with, Squirt. The kid outside said that she pledged the mages to the Magister- think you can get him to meet with you, Lana?” </p><p>Solas frowned. “If he’s able to manipulate timelines, we should be wary. This is magic that one should not meddle in.” Then he turned to Sam and smiled. “No offense to Samantha, as it seems she has a better handle on it.”</p><p>“No offense taken, Solas.” She grinned at the elf. “If we’re honest about it, I’m not the best person to be fucking around with it, either. But I’m better than this fucktard, that’s for sure.” She shook her head. “He didn’t even try to bend it- he just ripped time and started over.”</p><p>Varric looked thoughtful for a minute as he looked between Sam and Fiona. “So, quick question- if whoever did this gave the timeline the middle finger, why do we remember Fiona talking to us?” </p><p>Lana looked at Sam- Varric had a point. “I’m not sure,” she admitted. “Sam, any theories?”</p><p>She nodded. “I assume it’s my fault. Or a benefit, depending on how you look at it. I can see the timelines, and you’re connected to me. I amplify your magic, so maybe you amplified mine.“ She shrugged, then looked at the group approaching them. “And here’s the welcome wagon I saw coming.”</p><p>“You did that on purpose, didn’t you,” Bull asked approvingly, watching the entourage entering the bar. “Rile the others up enough to get the leader?”</p><p>She nodded. “Lana, this is all you. Handle them for me while I let Cullen and the others know that this shit is going to hell in a handbasket, would you?”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>Cullen was pouring over reports and trying to keep his head from pounding when he heard Sam reach out to him.  <em>Hey hon</em>, she said, voice rich with that smile he missed terribly. <em>So... we made it to Redcliffe, and guess what? We now have some friends coming back with us. </em></p><p>Before he could stop himself, he grimaced. <em>I don’t have the mental space for pleasantries and frivolity today, Sam,</em> he said with a clipped tone.  <em>Just tell me what happened, please.</em> </p><p><em>Cullen, are you all right? </em>Sam asked tentatively. <em>You’re never this snappy with me</em>.</p><p><em>I’m fine, </em>he said curtly. He didn’t want to talk about his headaches with her- there was no need to upset her. While she was there, things were calm, but the nights he spent alone he was plagued with nightmares and headaches- last night was no exception.</p><p>He could feel her reel from the chill in his words. <em>Fine</em>, Sam snapped.  <em>I’ll chill out here for a minute- call out to me when you’ve got the stick out of your ass. I’m going to go chat up the cute mage we’re bringing back since you need time to get your mental space together. Peace out.</em></p><p><em>Sam</em>, he said with a sigh, <em>don’t do that, please- I apologize, I’m a bit on edge today. I didn’t mean to be short with you- it’s just been a trying day, is all. </em>He scanned the area, looking around- he secretly hoped she would drop in to give him a piece of her mind- at least then he could see and hold her. <em>Are you able to come to me?</em></p><p>Despite her irritation with him, he could feel the smile in her words. Trying to pull me away from all the cute guys we have traveling with us, Rutherford? </p><p><em>I am,</em> he replied with a smile. <em>I told you years ago that I don’t want to share, love. </em></p><p><em>I don’t know</em>, she teased. <em>He’s got a pretty sweet mustache... I think he might be the one, Metal Man. </em></p><p>The thought of her with another man, even in jest, made his face flush with anger. <em>Keep up this teasing and see what happens, </em>he growled. <em>I’m not pleased with the idea of my wife flirting with other men, Lady Rutherford.</em></p><p><em>Thought you needed mental space,</em> she chided. <em>Go back to whatever you were doing- I’ll reach out when I get enough info for a full report.</em></p><p><em>Are you coming back tonight?</em> Cullen asked, his voice softer now- just talking to her had done wonders to soothe his nerves. <em>I’d like to see you.</em></p><p><em>No</em>, she said sadly. <em>I want to camp with them for the night- I need to pick Mr. Mustache’s brain- he knows a little bit about what’s going on. Let me talk to him about this situation and I’ll report back to the War Room with everyone</em>.</p><p>Cullen was trying hard to not insist she return this instant, knowing it would only be met with teasing or anger, and he could handle neither of those in his condition. Instead, he just sighed. <em>Are you ok? </em></p><p>
  <em>I’m fine. Redcliffe, once again, is not. Just so you know, we’re never buying property there when this is all over- I’m getting the feeling it’s not the place to be. </em>
</p><p><em>Duly noted,</em> he replied with a smile as he hunched over his papers. <em>I saw your present, by the way- I moved it to my tent while you were gone.</em>  He picked up the drawing she’d made of them all those years ago, tracing his fingers over the image. The folded paper was starting to yellow with age, but he’d kept it with him for the past ten years. Somehow, Sam had made a frame for it and left it by his bedside- whenever the nightmares got to be too much, he’d grab it to remind him of what was real. Since she’d been gone, he’d taken to sleeping in his tent with the troops, and had moved it to his desk, not wanting to leave it in the empty house. It had become his talisman over the years, keeping him grounded when times were mad, and he had no intention of being without it now.</p><p><em>A framed picture of the wife in your office, Commander?</em> She teased. <em>Thought you’d want to hide that away from everyone.</em></p><p>At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch her face, but he knew they both had duties to attend to. <em>On the contrary,</em> he said. <em>I want them all to know that if I’m willing to send away what I love most in service of this cause, then there is no excuse for them to give less than their best. </em></p><p>I’ll be home soon, she said wistfully.</p><p><em>You have no idea how much I love hearing you say you’re coming home to me,</em> he said with a smile. <em>Are you watching me now? </em>Cullen asked. </p><p><em>Yep</em>, she replied. <em>Still working, I see. Have you eaten or taken a break yet?</em></p><p><em>There’s no one here to give me enough of a reason to,</em> he answered. <em>Besides, that’s hardly fair, Sam. </em></p><p><em>What’s not fair? </em>Sam asked. </p><p><em>you can see me and I can’t see you. </em>He sighed, leaning back in his chair.<em> I want you back home, love.</em></p><p><em>Then let me go talk to everyone. I promise we’ll be home soon</em>. She paused, and he wondered if someone else was talking to her. <em>I love you, Cullen,</em> she said softly. </p><p><em>I love you too, </em>he replied. As the connection between them faded and he was once again alone in his mind, he returned to his work, feeling better than he had in days.</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“That’s an interesting trick the two of you do,” the smooth voice said from behind me, startling me from my drawing. “Care to share how you do it?”</p><p>“Nope,” I said, resuming my sketch. “You aren’t on the team yet- it’s a trade secret.” </p><p>The mage let out a huff. “And what team would that be?”</p><p>I smiled, pausing to turn to the dramatic mage who had sat next to me. “You talked to my sister but we haven’t been formally introduced,” I replied, extending my hand. “Samantha Rutherford... pleased to meet you. Sweet mustache, by the way.”</p><p>The coffee-colored man shook my hand and preened slightly, smoothing his dark hair as he settled in his seat. “Dorian Pavus, scourge of Tevinter, at your service. Happy to make your acquaintance, Samantha.”</p><p>“Call me Sam,” I replied warmly. “Why would you say that? You seem perfectly pleasant to me, even if you are a little too fabulous for this backwater town.”</p><p>He looked at me funny. “Um, you mean besides being a filthy ‘vint?”</p><p>I stared at him, confused. “You’re going to have to explain that one to me- I have no clue what you’re talking about.” I pointed to myself with a smile. “Not from Ferelden,” I said. “I’m from very, very, far away, actually, so I don’t even know where Tevinter is.”</p><p>“How is that even possible?” Dorian asked. “Everywhere I go, it’s ‘oh no, run away, it’s that horrible Tevinter Magister! I swear- you’d think I went around eating their children or something. Besides," he said with a huff, “I’m not even a Magister- I’m an Altus. Backwater heathens,” he grumbled. “Everything they don’t understand, it’s ‘ah, maker preserve us, blood magic’. Last time I come and try to save the world, I’ll tell you that."</p><p>“Funny, I’ve been on the receiving end of that little tirade before, too,” I said with a grin, reaching in my bag and offering him a cookie. “Want one? Official snack of outcasts, you know.”</p><p>“You are a strange one, Sam,” he replied, taking the cookie. “So, you really aren’t scared of being alone with the ‘Vint? Not afraid I’m going to steal your soul or something?”</p><p>“Actually, I want you to sit down so I can finish my drawing of you,” I corrected, showing him my sketchbook. “I want to do you justice- you’re too pretty to get wrong, you know.”</p><p>He laughed for the first time since he joined us. “That, my dear, is true. I’m glad someone has the good sense to not act like a moron.”</p><p>“I think Lana is doing ok,” I said, tweaking his picture and staring to color it in. “She hasn’t been rude, right?”</p><p>“That would be the girl with the mark, correct?” He sighed and reached for another cookie. “She’s perfectly pleasant, even if she's a bit uptight. I think she’s convinced I’m waiting for the right time to ambush everyone. The big lummox she’s with, however, is another story.”</p><p>I stopped sketching for a moment, grabbing a cookie and turning to him. “Who, Bull? Do you need me to talk to him? Cause I will- I know for a fact you’re cool, so I can vouch for you, at least.”</p><p>He looked at me curiously. “Not that I don’t appreciate the vote of confidence, Sam, but how can you be so sure? We’ve only just met, and yet you’re the most comfortable with me in your presence- why is that?”</p><p>I shrugged. “Because I know you’ve only made decisions to help us. I’ve seen it.” I sighed, turning toward the fire. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll let you in on a secret.”</p><p>“Well, I certainly do love secrets,” he said, turning toward me. “Happy to listen if you’re sharing, Sam.”</p><p>“I can see your decisions and choices,” I said quietly. “If you’d decided to do something foolish, Lana and I would’ve destroyed you already. And I don’t mean that lightly- we kinda have enough power to turn you into a pile of ash. Ask the former asshat who got the old king killed.” I turned back to my book, tweaking his sketch. “So, I checked you out when you signed on- you’re cool people,” I said simply.</p><p>Dorian’s eyes went wide. “So, you just casually see the future?”</p><p>“Not really- I see some of the results of your choices,” I said with a shrug. “And I can stop and rewind time. So, not exactly the pinnacle of attack magic out here- I’m the walking psychic hotline, but only if they just gave you bits and pieces of the story.”</p><p>He reached over and set his hand on mine, causing me to look him in the eye. “Sam, I need you to do me a favor,” he said seriously. </p><p>“Um, I don’t know if we’re at that level yet, but I’m listening,” I replied. “What’s on your mind, Dorian?”</p><p>“You’re joking, but you can’t go around telling people that- especially none of the mages working with Alexius,” he said, staring at me and searching my face. “Do you understand me?”</p><p>“Why?” I asked, curious in spite of myself. “What’s the deal?”</p><p>“I think you should get the Herald,” he replied with a sigh. "It appears that we have to have a wonderful conversation about everyone’s favorite Magister and time travel.” Dorian grabbed another cookie, then glared at me as he popped it into his mouth. “And take these damnable treats away from me! If I get fat, I’m going to blame you, Sam.”</p><p>I laughed, rising to my feet to get Lana. “Dorian, as long as you don’t make me get up at the ass-crack of dawn to go running with you, then I think I’ll be fine."</p><p class="p1">
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</p><hr/><p>“So, Dorian,” Lana said sleepily, “What is so important that you had to wake me up from what was a pretty decent sleep?” </p><p>“Because Alexius is studying time magic and working with the Venatori,” he replied wearily. “And your sister has a penchant for casually sharing details that one of <em>that</em> crew… which you have traveling with you, by the way, could easily pass back to them. If he found out what she could do, they would take Sam for their own purposes and try to unmake the world."</p><p>Sam narrowed her eyes at him. “How do you know so much, Dorian? And why haven't you told Lana this before?”</p><p>He rolled his eyes at Sam, crossing his arms. “I didn’t think she had a time-traveling mage with her, otherwise we may have just had this conversation a bit earlier- it’s not exactly something that comes up all the time. You know, hey, nice to meet you, you don’t happen to have a sister that can bend the very fabric of reality, do you?”</p><p>Lana sighed. “I can see your point. But,” she said, staring at him dispassionately, “you still haven’t shared how you know so much.”</p><p>Dorian let out his own dramatic sigh, then stared out in the distance. “Because I was Alexius’ apprentice, that’s why.”</p><p>Sam made an irritated noise. “Great.” She turned to Lana, rolling her eyes. “So, does everyone in this world work for the enemy lately? Is there anyone that isn’t traipsing through this whole ordeal with their own agenda destined to fuck us over?”</p><p>“I beg your pardon- I am here to <em>help</em>!” Dorian said angrily. “But to answer the question you so rudely posed to me, I was his apprentice back in Minrathous.” He looked over at Sam, eyeing her up and down. “Looks like the barbarians finally learned something first- time travel was theoretical in Tevinter. It just seems that Alexius found out how to use it.”</p><p>“Sorry, Dorian,” Sam replied apologetically, putting her head in her hands. “It’s been a bit trying since we came back to Thedas.”</p><p>Lana shot her a look and groaned- she didn’t know how much she wanted Dorian to know,  but it seemed like Sam was destined to tell the man their life stories whether she wanted her to or not. “Sister,” she said wearily, “do you ever shut up?"</p><p>“Sister? Came back to Thedas?” Dorian repeated, looking back and forth between the two women. “I’m getting the distinct impression that there is a heap of information I’m missing out on.” He crossed his arms and legs, staring at them impassively. “I think we need to have a little tête-à-tête, don’t you?”</p><p>Lana just looked at Sam, shaking her head. “Sam is from another world, Dorian. She’s a Watcher, which is why she has the power to pause and rewind time.” Lana paused, then let out a soft sigh- to her dismay, she was now wide awake. “And I’m the hero of Ferelden, whose been dead for the last ten years but resurrected by our mother.” She shot the Altus a look, who was now staring at them, open-mouthed. “Congratulations, you’re now caught up.”</p><p>“This was not what I was expecting, that’s for sure,” Dorian replied slowly. “Makes my life a lot more interesting, but definitely not what I was expecting. I just thought they wanted you for your mark- now I’m not so sure.”</p><p>“Not too many people know the truth,” Sam admitted. “You should feel special- we don’t tell too many people.”</p><p>Dorian raised an eyebrow. “Oh really? Judging from our short time together, I was under the impression you shouted it from the rooftops every chance you got, Sam.”</p><p>Lana turned to her sister, expecting the girl to have a snide comeback for the Tevinter mage, but her expression was calm. “Nope,” Sam replied. “You looked like you could use a friend, just like me, so I figured I would share. Let you know you’re surrounded by outcasts... if it makes you feel any better.”</p><p>Dorian opened his mouth to retort, but closed it, pausing to stare at the girl. Lana smiled, placing her hand on his arm. “Ordinarily, I would chide my sister, but I trust her judgment without question. Sam,” she said, turning to the girl, “Is he Team Mage material?”</p><p>“Without question,” Sam said, smiling at Dorian. “How about it? You wanna be on Team Mage? We’re all about stopping an evil Magister and fixing the rip in the sky, plus we have cookies.” She also placed a hand on his arm. “Besides, I could use another outcast on the team.”</p><p>Dorian looked at them for a moment, then shrugged. “I can’t say I have anything else to do at the moment, so why not- wouldn’t be the worst thing I’ve ever done.”</p><p>Sam let out a laugh. “You’ve done worse than join a ragtag crew of miscreants you barely know to stop an unspeakable horror? If that’s the case, I’m thinking we need to have a get-together and swap stories, cause you might just be fucking amazing.”</p><p>“My dear,” Dorian said with a haughty grin, picking up one of Sam’s straight dark hair strands that had escaped her braid, “The stories I could tell you would positively make your hair curl. If you think you can top them, bring the wine and we’ll see who wins.”</p><p>Finally, Lana laughed. “Dorian, it’s going to be damn fun to see you try. Welcome to Team Mage- I think you’ll like it here.” </p><p>“You know,” Dorian replied, smiling as he stretched and let out a loud yawn. “I think I just might."</p><p class="p1">
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</p><hr/><p><br/>The more he heard Lana explain about what happened in Redcliffe, the worse Cullen’s headache got. He tried to keep his face neutral, but when she mentioned that the rebel mage leader had, in fact, indentured the mages to the Tevinter magister, he felt that dull throb grow to a pulsating crescendo. “And,” he said tersely, “we’ve now got a missive that he wants to meet with the Herald of Andraste and the Savior... <em>personally</em>. Wonderful.”</p><p>The Tevinter mage they brought with them raised an eyebrow, then turned to look at Sam. “Looks like you made an impression, dear- before, they only wanted to kill Lana. Now it appears that you’ve been bumped up as well- do you have to do everything your sister does?”</p><p>Sam bopped him gently on the nose with her finger, giving the mage a grin that caused Cullen to grip the table tighter. “Aw, are you jealous, Dorian? Sad you’re not the center of attention?”</p><p>“Hardly,” he sniffed, bumping his wife with his hip. “I know where I stand at all times and I’m still one of the most interesting men you’ve ever met, remember?“</p><p>“Touché,” Sam replied with a giggle that set Cullen’s nerves on edge- without thinking, he reached for Sam’s hand, and his wife took it in hers, causing the mage to raise his eyebrow at her. She laughed, rubbing Cullen’s arm. “Oh, by the way, this is my husband- FYI, he’s going to argue with any plan that involves me leaving this room.”</p><p>Cullen started to protest, but his wife just looked at him- defeated, the Commander grinned. “You’re probably right. But in my defense, every time I argue about it, there is a valid reason why you should not jump into the fray, Sam.”</p><p>“Yeah, but we’re not talking about that,” she said lightly. She looked around the room, then blew a hair out of her face. “You all know this is a trap, right? Like mage on a plate, serves two, easy on the rescue type trap?”</p><p>“For once, I agree,” Cullen said. “They want you to meet... alone in Redcliffe Castle. That place is one of the most defensible places in Ferelden- we’d have no way to get to you if something happened.”</p><p>“Well, technically only Lana’s fucked,” Sam said with a grin. “I can just pop out.”</p><p>Grinning, Lana stuck her tongue out at Sam. “And if they have any red lyrium in there? You’re just as caught as I would be, dear sister.” Then Lana paused, looking thoughtful. “But...” she turned to Leliana, eyes bright. “We could sneak some of your forces in there, Leli.”</p><p>“How?” Cullen asked. “As I said-“</p><p>“The secret passage,” Leliana replied, interrupting him. “The same way we got into the castle the last time.” The spymaster looked at him and nodded, stroking her cheek in thought. “This could work. Lana and Sam could go in and buy us time while we surround the castle, and Sam can give you the signal to enter with the main troops once we’ve entered the throne room.”</p><p>The headache was now like someone was smelting ore in his head- he winced at the pain, causing Sam to look at him curiously. <em>You ok?</em> she asked in his head.</p><p><em>It’s fine,</em> he replied. <em>Just a headache- lots of work and a lack of sleep seem to be catching up with me. </em>He smiled at her, squeezing her hand. <em>Nothing to worry about, love.</em></p><p>Dorian sniffed, looking at the two of them, then turned to Lana. “Do you smell that? There’s a lot of magic in the air right now- what in the hell is going on?”</p><p>“Most likely a conversation they don’t want us to know about,” Lana replied.  “Happens quite often around here- she can talk to Cullen and me in our heads, which is pretty useful sometimes.”</p><p>“Or annoying if you’re on the outside of it,” Leliana said with a grin, “But one grows used to it.” She looked at Sam, then at Cullen. “Sam, could you tell us the consequences of this plan? What happens if we go and meet with Alexius?”</p><p>Lana and Cullen frowned. “I don’t know how I feel about that,” Lana replied. “I can’t afford to have you pass out and not have you with me, Sam.”</p><p>“Trust me, I’m not looking to go down like a ton of bricks, either. Which is why,” she looked to Lana, directly avoiding his gaze. “I want to draw from your mark when I do it- the extra power should, in theory, help.”</p><p>Cullen felt the sledgehammer in his head strike his temple again. “Absolutely not, Sam- you have no idea what that will do! Are you on a mission to get yourself killed?”</p><p>Sam turned to Dorian and winked. “Told you.” Then she turned to Lana, and before Cullen could say another word, she grabbed her sister’s arm. When she did, Lana’s eyes went wide as the mark began to pulsate with that sickening green light. </p><p>“Um, maybe you should listen to the Commander,” Dorian said slowly, watching as Sam began to pale and sway. “Sam,” he said tentatively, placing a hand on her shoulder, “are you all-“</p><p>He didn’t get a chance to finish- before Cullen could react, Lana’s mark exploded in a flash of green light and sending the three to the floor, unconscious. </p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Let's do the time warp again</h2></a>
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<hr/><p>Lana was the first to rise, groaning as she looked around in the darkness, her eyes settling on the girl slumped on the ground next to her. “Sam?” She began to shake her sister, panic slowly filling her with every passing moment. “Are you ok?”</p><p>Sam jerked up, looking at her in alarm- her eyes widened as she scanned the area. “Lana? What are you doing here? How is that possible?”</p><p>To her right, Dorian let out a soft groan. “Judging by your conversation, then I suppose I’m not supposed to be here either.” The mage took a look around and frowned. “Just one question,” he said, raising a finger tentatively. “Pray tell, where is here?”</p><p>“The between,” Sam said shakily. “We’re viewing a branch- I think you guys short-circuited me.”</p><p>Dorian scoffed, brushing himself off as he rose to his feet. “Speak for yourself- I did no such thing. Our darling Lana is the catalyst in this instance- her mark seems to have had a slight malfunction.”</p><p>Lana groaned. “It appears that the power works both ways, Sam- you amplify me, but I can do the same to you. However, I don’t think this sort of merge is as advisable as a nug roast.” </p><p>“What in the hell are you two blathering about?“ Dorian asked angrily. “And why are standing on what appears to be nothing? I daresay I’m about to fall through the floor, but it appears as solid as stone.” To reassure himself, he gave a soft stomp of his foot. There was no sound, but as he predicted, his boot met with resistance and did not send him plummeting to maker knows where. “Will someone <em>please</em> tell me what the bloody hell is going on here?”</p><p>“I admit, I am at a loss myself,” Lana remarked. “I’ve never seen anything like this before.” She turned to Sam, eyes wide with fear and amazement. “Is this what happens when you have visions?”</p><p>Sam nodded. “We’re between time right now- it’s only a few seconds out there, but it can be a lifetime in here if you’re not careful. The longer we stay here, the worse it’s going to feel. And,” she said, swallowing nervously, “we’re going to have to see this through if we want any real answers about the future.” </p><p>Lana’s eyes narrowed. “Are you referring to what happens when you push yourself to see too far?” When Sam nodded, Lana frowned again. “Isn’t that painful for you?”</p><p>“Very,” she admitted. “And I imagine it’s going to hurt like a sonofabitch for you two since you don’t belong here.” Sam sighed. “Mom said it’s like your brain is running a marathon while the rest of you stands still if you don’t have anything to anchor you. And as you can see,” she gestures to the blackness surrounding them, “we have absolutely dick all to do that right now.”</p><p>“Would the mark count as an anchor?” Dorian asked, gesturing to Lana. “It’s a connection- maybe you can use it to, oh, I don’t know, not let this wonderful visage of a man who unwillingly got trapped in this nightmare with the two of you die a horrible death?”</p><p>“It’s worth a try- I’ve only ever brought one person here with me, and that was when they were about to die.” Dorian paled at that, but Sam laughed. “It wasn’t my fault- he got shot, so he was already on his way out. I just kept him alive long enough to change a few things outside.”</p><p>Lana stared at Sam, realizing what she was saying. “John,” she said softly. “You brought him here to save him.” </p><p>“Yep,” she agreed. “But I don’t think we have that same luxury right now. In the meantime, let’s pull up a seat and watch the thread I almost murdered us all to see, shall we?”</p><p>“There are no seats, Sam. How do you propose-“ Before Lana could finish her thought, she was stunned to see her sister settling onto a long cushy sofa and gesturing to the seats on either side of her. “How in the maker-“</p><p>“It’s the Between,” Sam replied simply. “Just like the Fade, I can manipulate what goes on in here. I use it to make myself comfortable- before I met you guys, I spent a lot of time in here.”</p><p>Dorian gingerly sat down, then looked amazed as he made contact with the sofa. “It’s <em>incredible</em>- it feels as if it’s real!”</p><p>“To your mind, it is,” Sam said, handing him a bucket of something. “Popcorn? I always like a good snack when I watch a movie- maybe it’ll make this more comfortable for you guys.”</p><p>Lana sat next to her, reaching into the bucket and marveling at the feel of the snack in her mouth- she knew it wasn’t real, but she could find no differences between the concoction Sam had given her here and the treats she’d experienced in the real world. Then she had a thought and looked over at her sister. “Sam, how long have we been in here? Should we be worried? What’s going on with us out there?”</p><p>“Well, that’s the thing,” Sam said tentatively. “In this area, we’re perfectly safe. It’s the viewing space- it’s where I’m supposed to be. In all honesty, it’s like a second or two is passing out there for everyone else- you know, like it is when you ask me to check a thread.” She shifted uncomfortably on the sofa, then looked over at Lana. “The problem is going to come when and if you need to see what comes next.“</p><p>“I think we’ll be fine right here,” Lana said resolutely. “Show us what we need to see so we can go home, Sam.”</p><p>“You say that now,” Sam replied darkly. “It’s never that easy, Lana Banana.” Then she sighed, grabbing a remote control and pressing a button- instantly, the darkness changed into Redcliffe Castle, and Lana gasped in shock. Sam just smiled and placed a hand on her shoulder, setting the remote down. “You’re viewing the thread- I do this naturally, but I thought it might be less unsettling for you and Dorian to do it this way. Mom taught it to me this way when I was younger, so I thought it might be best to try here.”</p><p>Dorian made a strangled sort of noise as he gripped the arm of the sofa. “Sam, there is nothing that you can do that would make this anything less than terrifying, I assure you.” He then paused, looking at the scene in front of them, then turning back to see the utter blackness behind them. “I must be going mad,” he muttered. “Positively stark raving mad. There is simply no other explanation.”</p><p>“There’s an explanation,” Sam said softly. “You’re watching your future and it’s a mindfuck. I wish I had a better one for you, but that’s all I got. Now hush and watch so we can get the hell out of here, huh?”</p><p>Lana watched in amazement as she saw herself, Sam, Dorian, Varric and Cassandra head into the Castle, only to be greeted by Alexius. He began to speak about the mark, then began to talk about how she should have never been at the temple, and to her surprise, he used the amulet around his neck to create a rift in the middle of the throne room. Dorian rushed to stop him as Sam gripped her shoulder, and the three of them were suddenly winked out of existence. </p><p>Suddenly, the scene froze, and Dorian turned to Sam in shock. “What was that? Where did we go?”</p><p>Sam just smiled at him sadly. “Didn’t I tell you that these scenes never really tell you everything you want to know? You have to jump ahead to get more details, but every time you do, it hurts a little more.” She looked at Lana and shrugged. “I never try to go more than a few steps ahead- as you can tell from my impromptu knockout sessions, it doesn’t work out too well for me.“</p><p>“Is that what it’s like for you when you meet someone important?” Lana asked quietly. “You said it’s overwhelming. Pardon me for saying so, but I didn’t find that to be all that bad, Sam.”</p><p>“Oh, you want to know what that’s like, do you?” Sam warned. Lana nodded- gathering information had always been her weakness, and this was a chance for knowledge that was decidedly beyond any she'd ever known. “I'm warning you, it’s not pretty, Lana Banana.”</p><p>Dorian raised his hand. “Um, I didn’t ask any such question, Sam. No need to expound on my account- I’m more than content to leave it as a mystery.”</p><p>Sam, however, ignored the mage, and pressed a button on the remote in her hand- instantly, the darkness exploded in light and sound from every direction. Instead of just having a scene in front of them, there were scenes everywhere- it was a cacophony of scenes coming at them from every direction, and the volume was practically deafening. “All right!” Lana screamed over the din, wincing at the noise. “I get it now!”</p><p>Morosely, Sam pressed a button, and the noise faded, leaving only the one scene in front of them, mercifully silent. “That’s what it’s like in my head all the time when there’s someone with too many branches,” she admitted. “Having a totem for important people is like a channel guide- I can learn where to focus and eliminate the background noise.”</p><p>“How in the world are you still alive,” Dorian asked, tugging at his earlobe. “I’d have driven a fork into my skull long ago if that was going on in my head all the time.”</p><p>“That would be why I tend to stay away from people,” Sam admitted. “Doesn’t exactly make for an awesome experience when you’re constantly screaming in pain. My house was warded- I only saw what I needed to see because Mom filtered out most of the extra for me.”</p><p>Lana shuddered, then leaned over and hugged Sam tightly. “I’m so sorry,” she murmured. “If I’d known it was like that for you-“</p><p>“I’d still have done it anyway,” Sam replied, returning Lana’s hug. “You’re worth it, Lana Banana. But now you see why I wanted to die when you took off your necklace all those years ago.”</p><p>At the memory, Lana felt tears prickle behind her eyes, fully realizing the amount of pain she had inflicted on Sam and marveling at the fact that the girl had never held it against her. “I never meant to put you through that, Sam- I’m so sorry!” </p><p>Dorian let out a huff. “As much as I understand the need to assuage your guilt, we still have the more pressing matter of the scene in front of us, Lana.” He gestured to the frozen scene in front of them. “So, Sam, what do we do now? How do we figure out what the hell happened in that room?” </p><p>Sam sighed. “This is the point where I usually go home, so we have a choice- we can either go home, or we can go forward.” She looked over at the two mages, eyes serious. “I’m warning you- going forward is going to hurt. The further we go, the worse it gets. So, I’ll leave it up to you.”</p><p>Lana bit her lip. “What is it like, Sam?“</p><p>“For the first few steps forward, it’s pressure,” she said thoughtfully. “Then it gets worse and worse until you feel like you’re suffocating. I’ve only gotten to the point where I start to bleed from my nose and pass out- you remember that, don’t you?”</p><p>Lana nodded. “The keeper. I remember that, yes- you went too far that day.”</p><p>Dorian groaned. “This is delightful- we can either storm the castle and just wait to disappear, or we can liquefy our brains trying to figure out what awaits us.” He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “My goodness, you certainly make this an easy decision, Sam.”</p><p>“With great power comes great responsibility,” Sam said with a grin. “Choice is yours, guys, but we gotta make a decision soon- we aren’t meant to stay in here too long after the scene ends.”</p><p>Lana looked at Dorian, then at Sam. “We have to know, Sam.” She glanced over at Dorian, who let out a huge sigh, then nodded. Lana squared her shoulders and braced herself as Sam took her hand, exhaling slowly. “All right Sam- take us forward. I’m ready.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Though I knew better, I was hoping Lana would just decide that it would be better for us to go home.  I had a feeling the scene was going to be bad- I could feel that the scene was jumping due to the weird time magic the Magister was using, but it was darker than I had even imagined. When I moved forward, Lana and Dorian winced, and I placed a hand on their laps, hoping to reassure them. “Here, drink this,” I said, handing them each a cup. “It’ll help you forget about the pressure... for a little while, anyway.”</p><p>“And you do this voluntarily?” Dorian hissed, grabbing the cup and drinking it greedily, then staring at the empty cup with confusion. “Why does this taste like my mother’s tea?” </p><p>“Because the cup takes on the form of whatever you find most comforting,” I replied, sipping my hot chocolate. “It helps keep you grounded to reality when you’re going forward in time.” I looked out at the scene, which had now skipped to a dungeon, then frowned as I checked the branches. “That’s odd,” I remarked. “It shouldn’t be like this- I shouldn’t see this much. It’s too detailed,” I bit my lip. “That’s not good, guys.”</p><p>“Oh, you mean we shouldn’t be sitting in the fade and watching our future unfold as our brain tries to run out of our skulls?” The mage rolled his eyes, gesturing for another cup of tea. “Whatever gave you that idea?” </p><p>I refilled his glass, shaking my head. “The time... it’s <em>wrong</em>,” I said slowly. “Ordinarily, we resume right away- this has us going a year into the future. That may explain why it’s so rough for you two- oddly, I feel fine. Normally, seeing something with this much detail would have my soul trying to find it’s way to the lord by now. It must be because Alexius is fucking with the timeline.” I frowned, then turned to the two of them. “And that explains why future me can’t get us out of this,” I said, pointing at the screen. “Red lyrium is everywhere here.”</p><p>“What does that have to do with anything?” Dorian asked, sipping his tea. “Does that mean something?”</p><p>Lana nodded. “Her powers don’t work correctly around it... which means that I’m limited as well.”</p><p>“Not limited, just normal,” I teased, unable to help myself. “What, are you so used to being overpowered that you can’t handle being a regular old badass?”</p><p>“Damnable girl,” Lana remarked, squeezing my hand. She wasn’t complaining as much as Dorian was but judging by the way she was clutching her cup, I could see that she wasn’t faring much better.  She squinted, looking at the screen. “Is that Varric? What’s wrong with him?”</p><p>Dorian paled. “It looks like that same stuff Sam pointed out is.... <em>growing</em> out of him.” He shuddered as the dwarf began speaking in a terrifying monotone, explaining what happened. “Is he kidding? We got shoved into a future where we lost? All this happens in a year?” </p><p>“We stopped a blight in a year,” Lana said sadly. “It stands to reason the world could fall in one, too.” </p><p>We watched as we found Cassandra, who was in the same condition as Varric. Then we came to Fiona, who was practically encased in red lyrium, and then we all stared at the screen in horror as she warned us that Leliana was still inside the dungeon... just as the scene paused again. </p><p>“Well,” I said nervously, dreading the answer, “Is that enough to go on or do we need to keep going?” </p><p>“Can’t we do something!” Dorian yelled, whirling on me. “We can see this- we have to be able to help, right?”</p><p>“Afraid not,” I said sadly. “In this state, you’re like me. You can only watch what happens. Misery on a video screen... that’s usually my existence,” I muttered, conjuring a snickers bar and munching on it angrily. </p><p>“Now I see what you meant about using candy to counter the darkness,” Lana said quietly. “Makers breath, is it always like this for you?”</p><p>“Well, I usually don’t see a terrifying future where our allies are encased in red stone,” I quipped. “Sometimes I see other stuff.”</p><p>“You know what I mean,” she snapped lightly, gripping my arm. “Sam, you know we can’t leave without knowing the rest, right?” </p><p>“I’m worried about you two,” I admitted. “Something is making this easier for me, but you two aren’t used to this, plus you don’t look so hot. Are you sure you want to keep going?”</p><p>“It’s her mark,” Dorian said, gesturing for another cup of tea. “She seems to be powering you... just as you intended.” He drank his cup, then traced his finger around the rim of the glass nervously. “As painful as it is, however, I’m inclined to agree with Lana- we don’t know how or why this happens. Any information we get will be useful in stopping this.” Then he looked at me sadly. “And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if your spymaster is here, it only stands to reason your Commander may be here as well, dear Sam.”</p><p>I paled, and Lana gripped my hand. “Take us forward, Sam. If we know what is coming, I will never let this happen to our family and friends- I vow it.”</p><p>Nodding and shaking, I unpaused the scene, taking us even further into this dark future I desperately wanted to prevent.</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>As the scene began to play again, Lana began to understand what Sam meant about feeling as if her brain was turning to sand. It was all she could do to keep her eyes open, and she absentmindedly began sending healing magic into her body, It didn’t help rid her of the sensation completely, but it helped her focus, so she channeled a little into Dorian, who gave her a grateful nod as he loosened his grip on the cup in his hands. </p><p>They found Leliana, but she was almost unrecognizable- she had been transformed into what could pass for a talking darkspawn. Gone was the beautiful girl who was her best friend, and in her place was a living corpse, fueled only by hatred for what the world had become. They also learned that the threat was not Alexius, but the one he served- the Elder One. As they traveled to the throne room, they learned that not only had Alistair and everyone in the Inquisition been slaughtered trying to prevent this, but the Empress of Orlais had been assassinated- the heads of the empress and Anora rested on pikes in the hall, along with Josie and Cullen, serving as an example to all that opposed the Elder One.</p><p>Sam, trying to hold back tears at the sight of her husband, turned to Dorian, eyes full of fury as the scene stopped again. “Why would Alexius do something like this? What could he possibly gain from this bleak ass future?”</p><p>Dorian swallowed, looking down at his hands. “His son,” he answered quietly. “Felix was blighted- he’s been searching for a cure for the taint ever since. I’m willing to bet the Elder One promised him a cure in exchange for you, Lana.” He looked at the mark, which had begun to spark in response to her distress. “They called it an anchor- what does that even mean?”</p><p>“I can’t say I know,” Lana replied. “But what I do know is we can’t allow this to come to pass, Sam.” She gave her sister a hard look. “Take us home, Sam- we have to talk to everyone else and find a way to stop this.“ </p><p>“I got an idea,” Sam growled. “We roll in that room and nug roast his ass- problem solved.”</p><p>“Not really,” Dorian replied. “While I admit that after seeing this incinerating him might be extremely satisfying, Alexius will know more of this elder one than our future counterparts would have been able to glean from their unfortunate positions- we have to capture him... alive.”</p><p>“Aren’t you a necromancer?” Sam asked angrily. “Can’t we just kill him and talk to his corpse?”</p><p>“It doesn’t work that way,” he said gently. “Besides, from what I’ve seen from you, I don’t think you two tend to leave enough to even raise. I can’t work with ashes, my dear.”</p><p>Lana looked thoughtful. “Sam,” she said slowly, “you can hide from being seen and still stop time, correct?”</p><p>“I can...” she said slowly, eyeing Lana carefully. “What’s on your mind, Lana Banana?”</p><p>“It’s that damnable amulet that’s causing the issue, right?” Lana replied, thinking for a moment. “And if we can get it away from him...” </p><p>“He can’t send us into this wonky future,” she finished. “And since it’s a result of him mucking about with time, we should be able to change it without fucking things up.” She looked at Lana and nodded. “Yeah, I can do a frozen snatch and grab- just like the chancellor.” </p><p>“Good,” Lana replied, looking at the two of them. “Now let’s go home so we can stop this nightmare from ever occurring.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Cullen stared at the three of them as they hit the floor in shock, looking around the room. “Get Solas! Hurry!” He looked down at their faces, Sam turning grayer by the moment. Trying his best not to panic, he went into her bag and grabbed her emergency can of soda, thanking the maker he’d asked her how to open the blasted thing. He tipped it into her mouth, watching as the color slowly returned to her face, but nothing else happened- the three did not wake up. </p><p>Before he could launch himself into a true panic, Sam began to splutter, causing Lana and Dorian to stir from their places on the floor. “Well, that was officially the worst idea I’ve ever had.” She looked groggily at Cullen, who was staring over her as he tried to control his breathing. “It is honestly amazing to see you right now- you have no idea.” Then she launched herself at him, burying her face in his chest. “I needed to make sure you were real,” she whispered.</p><p>“That was, by far, both the most terrifying and the most fascinating thing I have ever experienced,” Dorian moaned from his place on the floor. “I feel as if I have been launched from a trebuchet and smashed against the ground... repeatedly.”   </p><p>Gingerly, Lana sat up, holding her head, Suddenly she turned green and Cullen reached over to rub her back, hoping that she’d return to her normal shade quickly. “Thanks,” she said, placing her head on her knees. “I agree- that was by far the worst thing we’ve ever done, Sam.”</p><p>When he was reasonably sure that no one was in danger of dying, Cullen stared at the three of them, trying to figure out the best course of action. “What happened to you three? One moment you were fine and the next you all passed out!”</p><p>Sam groaned. “Lana’s freak-tastic mark sent them into the Between with me,” she mumbled, reaching in her bag for a piece of candy. “Turns out that it’s not meant for non-Sam participation.”</p><p>“From what I’ve seen, I don’t think it’s meant for Sam participation,” Dorian said, taking a drink from the soda can Sam passed him. When the liquid hit his tongue, his eyebrows practically raised into this hairline and he stared at the can. “What the hell is this and where has it been all my life?”</p><p>“What is with you damn mages and your love for caffeine?” Sam said, snatching the can back and refilling it, only to have it snatched away by Lana, who drank the can greedily. Sam frowned then sighed, refilling the can and handing it to Cullen to put back in her bag. “Anyway,” she said pointedly, “We need to go to Redcliffe... and yes, its a trap.” She looked at Lana, who nodded. “And we’ve got some things we need to tell you about what we saw in there.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>As we walked toward the castle, I looked at Dorian and Lana nervously. “I’m kinda scared, guys… there’s too much riding on this if we fail.”</p><p>To my surprise, it was Dorian who offered me a comforting squeeze. “I trust you, Sam. You know better than anyone what will happen if this fails. If anyone can stop this madness, it’s you and your sister.”</p><p>“Agreed,” Lana affirmed, holding my hand. “Team Mage always wins, remember?” She stared at the castle, then stood up straighter. “Cass, Varric, are you ready?”</p><p>The seeker nodded. “Herald-“ Lana shot her a look, and she smiled. “My apologies,” Cassandra said with a smile. "Lana, we are with you. Let us do what we came to do and stop these machinations.”</p><p>Dorian ran off, and we entered the throne room, where Alexius and Felix were waiting for us. Fiona was standing near the door, watching us carefully as we entered, and I fought the urge to smack her as we walked past. “Idiot,” I hissed.</p><p>Varric chuckled but poked me in the side. “Calm down, Sparrow- it’s not why we’re here. Keep it in check till we can get the bad guy to monologue,” he whispered. “Then, by all means, feel free to go as nutty as a fruitcake.”</p><p>“You’re no fun,” I growled, poking him back in the shoulder.</p><p>Sure enough, Alexius began to posture, pretending he wanted to come to some sort of agreement for the mage cooperation. Fiona protested that he didn’t give the mages a say so in their fate, but Alexius dismissed her concerns- while I thought she was a moron for working with him in the first place, the way he treated her sounded a lot like slavery to me. I bristled, causing Lana to hold my hand.<em> Easy Sam</em>, she said in my head,<em> we only have one chance to stop this- keep your feelings in check. </em></p><p>I flexed my fists, staring intently at the Magister. <em>I can do it now,</em> I growled. <em>Take the amulet and go- easy, right?</em></p><p><em>Do you see an amulet yet?</em> Lana hissed. <em>I don’t, so let’s keep him talking. </em></p><p>Finally, Felix spoke, informing his father that we knew of his plans, which infuriated Alexius. “You walk into my stronghold with your stolen mark, a gift you don’t even understand, and think you’re in control?” He rose from the throne and sneered at us, balling his fists. “You’re nothing but a mistake!”</p><p>“If you know so much, enlighten me," Lana said, trying to keep her tone even. “Why don’t you tell me what this mark on my hand is for, then?”</p><p>“It belongs to your betters,” Alexius scoffed, dismissing Lana as his jaw tightened “A simpleton like you wouldn’t even begin to understand it’s purpose.”</p><p>“I want to hit him in the mouth,” I muttered. “Cass, can I borrow that shield of yours and wallop that bastard one good time?”</p><p>“No,” she said simply, not taking her eyes off the Magister. “If anyone gets to hit him, it will be me."</p><p>“Father, please- listen to yourself!” Felix pleaded, trying to get his father to see even a semblance of reason. “Do you know what you sound like?”</p><p>At that moment, Dorian came in, glaring at Alexius. “He sounds exactly like the villainous cliche everyone expects us to be.” The mage scoffed as the magister gave him an enraged look. “And to think you were my friend, Alexius. How could you do something like this?”</p><p>Alexius shook his head. “The Elder One has power you cannot imagine, Dorian. He will raise the Imperium from its ashes, make us great again.”</p><p>I felt my eye twitch as I tried to stay calm. “So that’s who you're doing this for? The same guy who killed the divine? Is this guy a mage or something?”</p><p>“No,” Alexius said, shaking his head at me. “He will become a god- he will make the world bow down to mages once more.”</p><p>“Um, reality check,” I said, glaring at him. “I’ve met gods before. Spoiler- they fuck up just as much as the rest of us, if not more. And seeing as he already murdered the divine and got my sister mixed up in this freaky shit, I’m not seeing him doing a bang-up job at the whole divine rule thing. So I think we’re gonna pass, evil dude.”</p><p>“My people will not be involved in this!” Fiona yelled. “We will not serve such a cause!” </p><p>“Alexius,” Dorian said as he approached, pleading with the man, “Stop this- it won’t help anyone! This isn’t what we wanted- we never have!”</p><p>“Oh, but I have to,” the magister said wearily, turning to his son. “The elder one says if I fix the mistake, I can save you, Felix.”</p><p>When he realized what his father had done, Felix went pale, reaching out for the man. “No, Father! You have to accept the fact that I’m going to die.” He shook his head. “Please, just let the mages fight the breach and we can go home. We don’t need to do this!”</p><p>“I am going to save you,” Alexius said, continuing as if he hadn’t heard his son. “Venatori, seize them- the Elder One demands their lives!”</p><p>Just then, all hell broke loose in the throne room as Leli’s agents poured from the shadows, dispatching the Venatori agents. Lana looked around, nodding at Dorian and then turning to me- we were almost caught up to what we’d seen in our vision. I gave her a subtle nod- it was time for me to disappear while no one was paying attention. I focused on teleporting behind him, coming back seconds after I left- no one noticed. </p><p>“Your men are dead, Alexius,” Lana said calmly. “Give up and we can work to help your son-“</p><p>“No!” He yelled. “You are a mistake,” he snarled, pulling out the amulet. “You should have never existed-“</p><p>“Sam, NOW!” Lana yelled. </p><p>Quickly, I froze him as the amulet began to spark, grabbing it from his hands and tossing it to Lana, who blew it up, causing time to restart and  Alexius to sink to his knees in astonishment. "What? How?"</p><p>"Team Mage, bitch," I retorted, fighting the urge to smack the man upside the head. "Dude, seriously? Don't you have a lick of sense? You don't make deals like that- they never turn out well!"</p><p>Lana groaned but Alexius just hung his head, not even bothering to look at us. “I surrender,” he said tonelessly, sadly looking up to Felix. “If I couldn’t save you, it doesn’t even matter anymore.” He sighed. "Do with me what you will- I've already lost everything."</p><p>As Leliana’s men hoisted the magister by the arms and bound him, I turned to Lana and Dorian, a stupid grin on my face. “I can't believe we actually did it! Holy shit, something went right for once!”</p><p>As soon as I said that, we heard the sound of armor approaching the throne room, and we turned to look at each other as a contingent of knights entered the room and Lana scowled. “You had to say something, didn’t you, Sam? Couldn’t leave well enough alone?”</p><p>We all watched in mild horror as Anora entered, red-faced and angry. “Grand Enchanter Fiona,” she hissed. “Imagine my surprise to learn that the mages I so graciously allowed sanctuary here allowed themselves to become indentured to a Tevinter magister!” </p><p>“Well, good to know that bitch hasn’t changed,” I muttered under my breath. Lana elbowed me, but it was too late- Anora clearly had heard me. Then registered who we were and she stared at Lana, her jaw practically on the floor as she saw us both standing there.</p><p>She turned and looked between us, mouth agape. “This is impossible! When- How- <em>Why?</em>”</p><p>“Anora,” Lana said, tone sweet and light as she walked over to the queen. “How have you been?” She gave the queen a broad smile, opening her arms wide. “Imagine, Solana Amell, Herald of Andraste and Samantha Rutherford, the Savior of the Inquisition, meeting the Queen of Ferelden after saving Thedas from a Tevinter magister!” She gave Anora a hug that I knew made the woman want to hurl her into a vat of gasoline and set it on fire, but the queen had the good sense to keep her mouth shut. “Imagine, the three most powerful women in Thedas in the same room together! Varric,” she said, turning toward the dwarf, “I daresay this is the stuff that inspires legends!”</p><p>I had no clue what Lana was playing at, but Varric seemed to. “Agreed, Herald- it practically writes itself!” He turned to Anora,  taking a sweeping bow in front of the queen. “Varric Tethras, acclaimed author, at your service- would you like me to chronicle these exploits for you, your majesty?”</p><p>Anora blinked, caught completely off guard. “No,” she said slowly, trying to recover the composure Lana had rattled. “I am here to deal with the mages, nothing more.” She turned to Fiona. “In the name of the Hero of Ferelden, I tried to help your people,” she said icily- I started to roll my eyes, but Lana elbowed me in the side, so I coughed instead. Anora looked at me out of the corner of her eye, but said nothing, resuming her conversation with the rebel mage leader. “Fiona, you and your followers are no longer welcome in Ferelden… effective immediately.”</p><p>Fiona paled. “But we have hundreds of people! Where will we go!” </p><p>“That’s no concern of mine.” Anora sneered at the mage, not even trying to hide her disdain. “I believe you should have thought of that before you gave Arl Teagan's castle away to a Tevinter magister, Fiona.” </p><p>At that, Lana stepped forward. “The inquisition still needs mages- we came here to seek your help closing the breach, after all.”</p><p>Fiona looked at Lana suspiciously. “Seeing as we have so few options at this point, we have no choice but to join you. But what, may I ask are the terms of this arrangement?"</p><p>“It’s not fucking slavery, you dumbass,” I muttered. “Jiminy fucking <em>Christmas</em>, why are we even talking to this woman, Lana?”</p><p>Dorian rolled his eyes at me, then turned to the rebel mage leader. “The inquisition is better than Alexius, Fiona.” He looked at Lana, an expectant expression on his face. “Right, Herald?"</p><p>Lana nodded, and looking in her eyes I could tell how much all this posturing was killing her. "We’d be happy to have you and your followers join us… as allies. The breach is the most important thing- sealing it is our top priority.”</p><p>It was at that moment I realized what Lana had done- she’d outplayed the queen. Anora had made it clear in front of everyone that she wanted the mages gone, but Lana had known that the moment she saw her face that Anora would do the opposite of whatever she wanted- by letting her make the first move, Lana had taken control of the board. I smiled at my sister, happy as hell she’d stuck it to that bitch once again.</p><p>Anora crossed her arms, giving Fiona and Lana a look that would melt steel. “I’d take that offer if I were you because you and your followers are leaving Ferelden, one way or another.” </p><p>The mage leader let out a loud sigh, then turned to Lana, extending her hand. “Very well, Herald- the mages will offer you our full support.” </p><p>Lana took her hand, shaking it with a smile. “I look forward to working with you.”</p><p>Fiona nodded. “I will gather my people, and ready them for the journey to Haven. The rebel mages will close the breach.” She stared at Lana, voice thick with conviction. “You have given us a second chance, and we will not fail in this endeavor- of this, I can assure you."</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Your tone seems very pointed right now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lana confers with Cass and Cullen about allying with the mages.</p>
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<hr/><p>“Lana,” Cassandra said evenly, “May I talk to you for a moment?”</p><p>Lana had to stifle a groan. She knew that the Seeker wasn’t particularly pleased with the decision to offer the mages an alliance, but in her heart, she knew it was the right thing to do. Ordinarily, Lana would have talked to Sam and confirmed that she wasn't about to enact a decision that was going to destroy the fabric of the world, but at the moment she’d been so focused on making sure Anora didn’t undercut her decision that she had forgotten all about it. As a result, she now had to have an awkward conversation with the Seeker, not to mention a veritable explosion of an argument with her brother-in-law.  Ordinarily, she’d call him a twit and move on, but this time she couldn’t even discount his anger... and that worried her. </p><p>Figuring the discussions had to start somewhere, she swallowed and looked at the Seeker, trying to own her choices. “Yes, Cassandra?”</p><p>The Seeker was not one to mince words. “Did you consult and see if allying with the rebel mages was the right idea? Would it not have been better to conscript them into our service?”</p><p>Lana sighed. “No, I did not- that decision was all mine.” When Cassandra looked at her with concern, Lana continued. “They had just been indentured to an evil magister- conscripting them would have just traded one master for another.”</p><p>To her credit, Cassandra paused before speaking again. “I can see your point, but we’ve seen the result of Fiona’s leadership already, Lana. How do we know that they’ll manage their freedom any better this time?"</p><p>"A person fighting for a cause that is not their own is never going to fight as hard as someone with something to prove. The rebel mages need the chance to prove that they are better than their mistakes. And that,” she said, realizing the truth of the statement as she said it, “is the credo of Team Mage- we are a collection of second chances and redemptions. If I cannot apply this to my dealings with others, then I do not deserve to be a part of this team.”</p><p>Cassandra’s lips turned up slightly. “Team Mage? I hear you and your sister mention this often, but I am afraid I’m unsure of what you mean.”</p><p>Lana relaxed, realizing that the Seeker wasn’t judging her, but simply searching to understand her reasons. “It’s something Sam and I came up with when we were fighting the blight- she would often say she was firmly on Team Mage, which meant she was with me no matter what. Eventually, it just became our name.” Lana laughed at the memory, then shook her head. “Funny how something that means so little at the time can grow to mean so much.”</p><p>“Such is the way of things,” Cassandra replied, staring at Sam, Dorian, and Varric as they rode ahead. “It seems you and your sister have been through quite a bit, Lana.”</p><p>“That, dear Cassandra, is an understatement,” Lana replied. “I went from no family to a girl who’s amassed the greatest collection of friends across this and other worlds.” She looked down, staring at her hands. “I owe her my life, in more ways than one.” She looked at the woman and realized that she should probably seek her counsel instead of simply assuming she knew the outcome. “Cassandra, as the resident adult on Team Mage, what do you think we should have done?”</p><p>Though she smiled at the inclusion, Cassandra scoffed at the question. “Me? I don’t think I’m the one to answer such a question, Lana.”</p><p>Lana smiled. “Why not? I asked for your counsel. As I hope we are on our way to being friends, I want to know what you think. Neither my sister nor my brother-in-law agrees with every decision I make- while I may not like what others say, I always respect that there are perspectives different from my own, Seeker.”</p><p>“I admit, this was not what I expected from you when we took you in from the temple,” Cassandra said slowly. “I fear that I am too rigid- everything must be just so, and I go with what I think is right without question. You, on the other hand, are willing to be uncomfortable in uncertainty, which is something I do not know how to do.”</p><p>Lana let out a laugh at that. “Have you met me, dear Seeker? I relish in certainty- my sister is the walking embodiment of that. When I don’t have that, I’m anxious. I have no idea if I’m ever doing the right thing- I just go with what I feel is right. That’s why I keep others I trust around me- I need them to help me see the things I might miss.”</p><p>Cassandra paused, staring at Lana for a moment before letting out a deep breath. “Then I will offer you my opinion, Lana- I think there are going to be some concerns about this decision when we return, and they may well have merit.”</p><p>“You mean Cullen,” Lana said simply. Cassandra nodded, and Lana rolled her eyes. “I admit, I am not looking forward to that conversation. In fact,  if we’re being honest, I would rather shove rusty nails into my skull.” </p><p>Cassandra’s hand flew to her mouth, trying to stifle her laughter. “<em>Lana!</em>” She chided. “It cannot be that bad!”</p><p>Lana rolled her eyes. “It can and it will- Cullen is a wonderful man and I love him dearly, but he is as about as rigid as a piece of wood. How he and my sister get along is beyond me.”</p><p>At this, Cassandra let out an actual laugh, making Lana smile at the rare sight. “The Commander means well, Lana," she said with a chuckle. "He just sees things in a certain light.”</p><p>“Yeah, the <em>all mages are incapable of rational thought</em> light.” Lana snorted. “Maker's breath, if I didn’t know him better...”</p><p>“But you do,” Cassandra said evenly. “The two of you argue, to be sure, but do you ever think that you may want to listen to him a bit? Forgive me for being insensitive, but you have been… <em>away</em> for the last ten years, Lana.” She let out a sad sigh. “A lot has occurred in that time- have you talked to him about what happened in Kirkwall?”</p><p>Realizing that she had been insensitive to the situation of her brother-in-law, Lana shook her head. “I… have not,” she replied sadly. “I know about the Circle, obviously, but I will be the first to admit that I haven’t talked to him about his time in Kirkwall.” Cassandra gave her a look, causing Lana to hang her head- without a word, the Seeker had succeeded in making her feel as small as an ant. “I suppose that I am basing my decisions off incomplete information- maybe I do need to sit down and have a chat with the man.” </p><p>“I would,” Cassandra said. “This is not to say that he will agree with you… but at least you two will have a better understanding of each other’s position.” </p><p>Lana sighed, running her hands through her hair. “That’s all I can hope for… especially considering what’s going to be arriving on our doorstep momentarily.” She looked at Cassandra, a hopeful expression on her face. “Do you think I could get away with sending Sam to talk to him first?”</p><p>Cassandra gave her a withering look. “You could try, though I don’t see that going over well for Sam.”</p><p>In response, Lana gave the Seeker a small smile. “I’m sure she can work something out- that girl is a genius when it comes to him.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p><em>Cullen</em>, I said, reaching out to him in my head, <em>are you busy?</em></p><p><em>I’m always busy,</em> came the response. <em>But what do you need, love?</em></p><p><em>Before I say anything, I need your word that you won’t kill Lana</em>, I said tentatively. <em>And I think I should have this conversation with you in person. Can I come and see you?</em></p><p>He paused for a moment and I turned to the others, who were looking at me expectantly- I shrugged my shoulders and Lana let out a huff of exasperation. Finally, he spoke again, his voice terse. <em>I’ve made some time. Please come now, if you can. </em></p><p><em>Right away,</em> I smiled, giving Lana a thumbs up. <em>Give me five minutes? </em></p><p><em>I’ll be waiting,</em> he replied. </p><p>I broke the connection, then looked at the seeker and Lana. “Well, he’s willing to talk to me, but I think he knows it's not going to be a good time. By the way, you owe me, Lana Banana- I don’t like getting in the middle of this.”</p><p>“Better he knows now than to be surprised by a slew of mages appearing on the doorstep of Haven,” Dorian said. “Besides, your Commander seems… reasonable."</p><p>Varric let out a snort. “Are we talking about the same man? Cause I’m just hoping you got enough juice in that ring of yours to pop out when he starts flinging shit in his tent, Sparrow.”</p><p>Lana sighed. “Sam, you are the messenger- that was part of the agreement. And Dorian is right- we don’t want them surprised by the arrival of a few hundred unsupervised mages that he full well knows were previously indentured to a Tevinter magister.” She turned to look at me, face full of apology. “Look, I fully admit that it may have been a rash decision, but I had to make it- we need to close the breach, and I did what I had to do in order to-“</p><p>I held up my hand. “It’s not me you have to tell, Lana- get ready to have this conversation with him when you return. I’m just there to give them a heads-up, that’s all.” I pointed a finger at my sister, who looked grim. “However, if he tries to murder me for delivering your message, I’m going to make sure I find a way to let Mom and Grace know it’s all your fault… Just sayin’.”</p><p>—</p><p>I appeared in his tent, a contrite expression on my face. “Hey hon,” I said quietly. “Can I talk to you, just as the messenger to the Commander?”</p><p>He looked at me over the tops of his papers, then tented his hands. I looked at him and frowned, realizing he looked exhausted. His hair was greasy, he had bags under his eyes, and while he normally kept a bit of stubble, the growth on his face looked downright excessive. “You haven’t been taking care of yourself, hon.”</p><p>“What is the message?” Cullen asked pointedly. “We can worry about my health later, though I get the feeling that my constitution is going to take another dip after talking with you, isn’t it?” He rubbed his temples, and I could see him wince- at that, I crossed the room, massaging his temples and scalp with my fingertips. At my touch, he let out a small sigh, resting a hand on mine and leaning into the other one. “Maker, that feels wonderful,” he breathed. “Thank you, love.”</p><p>I kissed his forehead and smiled. “Headache?”</p><p>He nodded. “For the last few days.” When I stopped and stared at him, he smiled, rubbing my hands again. “It’ll pass- they always do.” </p><p>“I’ve got something that will help,” I said. “Here, take this,” I said, grabbing an orange out of my backpack, then handing him my water bottle and two of the Tylenol as I peeled the fruit. He glared at me, but I just stared back. “Try that shit on someone else, Rutherford- I know you haven’t eaten cause I can hear your stomach from here. Also, you look like you haven’t slept or bathed in days, and you’re burning up- your head has to be killing you. Take the damn medicine while I peel this fruit or I’m gonna stop time and force you to eat it, which I really don’t want to do because that’s going to be gross as hell.”</p><p>“Damnable woman.” For the first time since I’d arrived, Cullen let out a laugh, then popped the pills into his mouth and chugged the bottle of water. “Is that better, dear wife?”</p><p>I finished peeling the orange, then set the fruit in front of him, gathering the peel in my hand to reform the orange. “It will be when you start eating,” I retorted. “Now eat the damn fruit, Cullen.”</p><p>“You do realize I’m the Commander of the Inquisition’s forces, right?” He said as he popped a piece of the orange in his mouth. “Last I checked, I was the one giving the orders around here.” </p><p>“Well, I’m the wife,” I said, refilling the bottle and setting it back down next to him. “And I say you look like shit… <em>Commander</em>.”</p><p>He ate the rest of the orange, then drank some more water. “Now that you’ve successfully come back and fussed over me, what is it that you have to tell me?” He gestured to his lap, and I walked over, sitting down and letting him rest his head on my chest while I massaged his head. I let out a sigh, and he raised his eyes to mine. “Is it that bad?”</p><p>I shook my head. “Not really. We secured the mages as allies- they are on their way to Haven.”</p><p>“<em>What?</em>” His head jerked up, hitting me in the chin- I cried out in pain and glared at my husband, who winced once he realized what had happened. “Oh no, my apologies- I didn’t mean to-“</p><p>“Yeah, well I told Lana I was going to be the one to get hurt over telling you,” I groused. "Guess I was right.”</p><p>His mouth dropped open, staring at me in shock. “Sam, you can’t think I did that on purpose! I would never-“ </p><p>I laughed, rubbing my face. “It might leave a bruise, but I’ll be fine. Besides, accidents happen.” He didn’t look convinced, so I began to rub his head again. “I was sent to give you and Josie a heads up so you could prepare for their arrival, that’s all.” </p><p>Even with me rubbing his head, his lips were set in a thin line. “We should go inform the council,” he said tersely. Then he slowly turned to look at me, expression held carefully neutral. “What are the consequences of this decision, Sam? What did you see?”<br/>
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Instead of answering, I kept rubbing his head. For a moment it seemed to distract him- his eyes closed and he settled into my chest, breathing deeply. Content to let the matter drop, I sat there, simply massaging his scalp and listening to the sounds of his breathing, But, just when I thought I was safe, I felt him shift- he opened one eye, staring up at me intently. “I’m still waiting for an answer, Sam.”</p><p>I sighed. “I didn’t check. Lana decided on her own… as the leader that you guys asked her to be,” I said pointedly. When he frowned, I leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. “But to ease your soul, I checked afterward. Nothing that wasn’t already going to happen will occur as a result of them being our allies.” He started to say something, but I cut him off. “No. This is not a conversation for me. This is something that you and Lana need to hash out between each other- you’ve been at each other’s throats about anything that has to do with mages and templars since we came."</p><p>“Sam-“ he started to say, but I fixed him with a cold stare and he shook his head, slumping his shoulders. “I suppose you’re right,” he muttered, leaning back against my chest and sighing. “Lana has missed so much- she doesn’t know what happened these last few years.”</p><p>“Then tell her,” I said, rubbing his hair and watching as he let out a soft moan. “You two are way too much alike- you’re both stubborn as shit and neither of you ever wants to admit you’re wrong.” I paused, then leaned over to stare at him. “Funny, I feel like I’ve told you this before.”</p><p>“You may have- it’s not impossible.” He smiled, not even opening his eyes as he gripped me around my waist. “Sam, this is the most comfortable I’ve been in days.” </p><p>“Same,” I replied. I hadn’t told him what I saw in the future, but now that I was holding him I realized that I hadn’t quite settled down until I had him in my arms again, safe and whole. “You have no idea how glad I am to see you right now.”</p><p>“I always know that feeling,” he murmured, eyes still closed. “It’s how I feel every time you come home.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Cullen decided that for once, he needed to be the bigger person. </p><p>After Sam had reluctantly left his tent, he was able to see clearly for the first time in days. The little tablets she had given him plus the moments they’d shared in the tent had made him feel positively rejuvenated. He didn’t know if his wife had planned it, but he realized that she had probably saved the lives of many a person in the camp that day, as the level of tension throughout the camp was palpable once the mages arrived. </p><p>He lost count of the number of fights he had to break up, but seeing a gathering of Templars and Mages bickering outside the chantry about who killed the Divine threatened to bring his headache back in full force. He’d managed to stop it before it got too intense, but when Chancellor Roderick strolled up and began posturing, he wished like hell he had the damnable bottle of her pills again. </p><p>“I’m curious,” Roderick sneered. “When are your ‘herald’ and ’savior’ going to restore order as you’ve promised? Pray tell, what is keeping them from such an important duty?”</p><p>“Of course you’re curious,” Cullen said dryly as he turned to the gathering of mages and templars that were huddled in front of the Chantry. “Back to your duties! All of you!”</p><p>When no one moved, Cullen felt his rage come to a boil- his next command was practically a roar. “I said,<em> NOW!</em>”</p><p>At that, everyone except Roderick scattered, and Cullen was left with the irritating Chancellor. “Roderick,” he said wearily, “what is it that you want? The Herald is doing what neither the mages, templars, or Chantry could do alone- she is uniting Thedas. Every day, she is out there, fighting to restore order and stabilize the region, but yet I see you give her no credit. This is the same woman who has come back from the very beyond to save us all, and yet you show her not a damnable ounce of the respect she deserves!”</p><p>“And I won't!” Roderick puffed up. “What we need is a real leader, not the so-called Herald of Andraste and the rebel Inquisition!"</p><p>Thoroughly irritated, Cullen leaned into the smaller man’s face. “What, and you think that you and a bunch of no-name clerics who weren’t important enough to be at the Conclave could do better?”</p><p>“If it makes you feel better, you’re more than welcome to call me Lana, Chancellor,” a voice said from his right. Cullen looked over to see Lana standing next to him, her arms crossed. “I’m not too partial to that title myself.”</p><p>“Yet you’ll use it as a rallying cry when it suits you,” the Chancellor hissed angrily. </p><p>Lana sighed as she turned to Cullen, and they both ignored the idiot for the time being. “Remind me why this… <em>man</em> is still here again?”</p><p>Cullen rolled his eyes. “Because he’s toothless. There’s no sense turning him into a martyr because he runs off at the mouth. Besides,” he said as he eyed the Chancellor, “You’ve already accomplished more than anyone else so far, even with his nonsensical braying. Better to just let him be and show him and others like this blowhard what real leadership looks like.” He fixed Roderick with an icy glare and crossed his arms. “That is… unless you’ve got something more you’d like to say to her face, Chancellor.”</p><p>When the chancellor began to splutter, Cullen gently took Lana’s arm and guided her away. “It appears not,” he said simply. "Come, Herald- I’ve got more important matters I need to discuss with you.” </p><p>Lana smiled, letting him lead her towards the tavern and tossing a bright smile and a wave over her shoulder at the angry little man. “Of course, Commander. Happy to assist.”</p><p>As they got out of earshot of the Chancellor, Lana looked over at him. “Well, I must say, that was unexpected- never expected to see you defending my honor, Cullen.”</p><p>“Why wouldn’t I?” Cullen asked as they entered the tavern and found seats. “Just because I don’t always instantly agree with you doesn’t mean I respect you any less, Lana.” He sighed, then gave her a sheepish smile as he ordered two drinks. “Earlier today, I was appropriately chastised for not showing you how much I appreciate your efforts out here.”</p><p>“Funny, I was just chided for not listening to my counsel and seeing all sides of the argument,” Lana replied with a smile, graciously taking the drink from the barmaid and casting a silence spell over the two of them. “It would appear that we’re still butting heads after all this time.” </p><p>“We’ve been at each other’s throats since you decided that it was ok to actually use that voice of yours, Lana,” he teased. "Why should anything change now?”</p><p>“True,” she replied with a smile. “You always did have a problem following orders.”</p><p>“I did not!” He said indignantly, then gave her a wicked smile as he sipped his drink. “If I recall correctly, I had a problem following stupid orders.”</p><p>“Oh, is that how you recall it?” Lana said teasingly. “I think being dead may have muddled some of my clarity- I seem to remember a certain templar being quite pig-headed and irritating when he didn’t feel something was going his way.”</p><p>“Your memory is faulty,” Cullen said with a grin. “I remember nothing but being steadfast and offering you counsel as you needed it.”</p><p>“You would,” Lana said with a laugh, then took a long swig of her drink. “So, Cullen, I’m asking for that counsel now- what are your concerns about our alliance?”</p><p>Cullen sighed, then sipped his drink. “I have concerns about that many mages with no oversight- we don’t have enough Templars to contain them all, and I am pretty sure that all of them have not been Harrowed,” he said finally. When Lana gave him a murderous look, he fought not to rise to her level of anger. “Lana, you asked for my opinion- I’m giving it. Feel free to tell me… <em>politely</em>… why I am wrong if you feel that way.”</p><p>Lana started to say something, then closed her mouth as if she thought better of it. Instead, she took another sip of her drink, looking as if she were strongly considering her options. Finally, she put down her glass, then stared at him with a question on her face. “Cullen, why do you think that all the mages will turn into abominations without Templars? I mean, barring Fiona’s idiocy of indenturing them to Alexius, they seem to be doing pretty well.”</p><p>“It is a risk,” he said calmly. “You asked for the concerns, I stated them. Based on what I have seen, that is my opinion.”</p><p>Lana’s face softened slightly. “Is this based on your experiences at the Circle and Kirkwall?”</p><p>He stiffened at her words but forced himself to stay calm and take a deep breath before he spoke again. “Partially," he admitted. "Though I am willing to give more leeway due to traveling with you and Sam- I have seen firsthand what magic can do to when used properly.” He let out a long sigh. “However, I fear I am in the rare position to have seen both sides, Lana- others here may not so lucky to have a balanced view.”</p><p>“As much as I instinctively want to yell at you, I am afraid you may have a point,” Lana said with a sigh. “Blood magic is something I have not nor will not ever tolerate. But,” she said, looking at him with a gleam in her eye, “I may have a solution to show you that our allies can be trusted, all while weeding out the exceptions to the rule.” </p><p>He raised his eyebrow, watching her closely. “How do you propose we do that?”</p><p>She gave him an apologetic smile. “Well, funny you should say 'we’…”</p><p>Cullen groaned, finishing his drink. “You mean Sam, don’t you?” When Lana just wordlessly sipped her drink, he put his head in his hands. “Of course you mean Sam. What do you two have cooked up this time?”</p><p>“Why Cullen,” she said simply, giving him a smile that made him more nervous than her yelling ever could. “We plan to close the breach, of course."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Greetings from Seattle, the No. 2 spot in the US for the plague right now. All of us are alive and well, but since we're trapped inside for the most part (as I assume quite a few of you are as well), I'll be posting an extra chapter a week (I love buffers, but I think it's more important to do my part, even if it's minuscule).</p><p>Here's hoping this weird little tale brightens your days a little, and please feel free to comment- interaction is good for everyone!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Secrets and Cookies</h2></a>
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<p>I was heading to the archery field with Sera, trying to see if she could teach me how to shoot. Sera was confident that I could be taught, but seeing how her brain went from zero to squirrel in nanoseconds, I had little faith that the sprightly elf could be an effective teacher, but it wasn’t as if I had anything else to do- Lana had headed off to the Chantry and was talking with Cullen, Solas was being all Solas-y, Bull was catching up with the Chargers, and everyone else had taken off on their own. Seeing as how I didn’t want to get caught by bitchy barbie or deal with Blackwall, I was happy to take some training from someone who was at least friendly to me, even if I was just as likely to get an arrow in my ass for my trouble.</p>
<p>To my surprise, she wasn’t as horrible a teacher as I thought, bounding over to correct my stance and show me how things were done. Watching her shoot was like an art form- she reminded me of how Leli used to shoot, quick as lightning and just as lethal. When Sera started firing off at targets in rapid succession, I just stopped what I was doing to stare at her, mesmerized by how easily the art came to her.</p>
<p>“Oi, Sam- pay fucking attention, would ya?” Sera yelled as she nocked another arrow, then paused, lowering her bow. “What, you gettin’ more crazy signals from Weirdy and Curly?”</p>
<p>I laughed. “Sorry, just thinking. No one in my head but me right now.”</p>
<p>She sat her bow on the ground, then hopped on the fence, her short legs swinging back and forth. “How’s that like? Y’know, having all those voices roll around your noggin all the time? Gotta be crazy-making, yeah?”</p>
<p>“I can see that,” I replied as I hopped up on the fence next to her, reaching in my backpack for the Oreos Lana hadn’t run off with- some days I wondered why she wasn’t the weight of a small truck, but I suppose the mark was burning off everything faster than she could eat it. I had to admit, I had gotten a little leaner myself- I could start to see definition in my muscles, and I was no longer winded when I had to run from something. Cass had started training me in short sword fighting, and while I was certainly miserable at it, I was no longer slated for an instant kill if someone found me. “Want a cookie?”</p>
<p>“Fuck yeah I do,” Sera said, snatching one from my hand. “You and Weirdy love these things.” She munched thoughtfully, then turned to me with a serious expression that was out of place on her mischievous face. “There’s too many magicky types here… seems like something’s gonna cock up around here."</p>
<p>I shrugged. “If it’s any consolation,” I replied as I picked up another cookie, “whatever is going to happen is going to happen regardless- I can’t see anything that we could do any differently.”</p>
<p>She frowned. “How do you do that?” I looked at her, confused- in response, she pointed at me angrily. “That! The ‘I’m so magicky and weird that I can see the future shit!” Sera scowled, grabbing another cookie. “I don’t get it- how are you a normal bloke one minute and the next you’re just as weird as the lot of ‘em?”</p>
<p>“Sera,” I said, hugging the elf. “You know I hate uptight bitches just as much as you do, right?”</p>
<p>The elf cracked a tiny smile. “You better, otherwise you’d be plucking an arrow out of your wide arse, you hoighty-toity bitch.” I gasped and she smirked, bumping against me. “I just don’t get it- how can you be her sister when you’re all you and she’s all weird?”</p>
<p>“Lana’s fine, I promise. She’s just got a lot on her mind,” I said as I stared up at the sky. “She’s always been all ‘I have to save the world so nothing looks like it bothers me’. We fought about it all the time.”</p>
<p>“Can’t tell now,” Sera replied. “Everyone's so far up her arse I’m surprised they can see sometimes. Last I checked, the dead stay dead, and she ain’t dead, which makes her weird."</p>
<p>“I guess I can see that,” I said with a chuckle. “But my whole family is weird, so that’s not even the strangest part of my life.”</p>
<p>Sera looked horrified. “What the hell? What other kinds of cockshit do you have going on in that family tree of yours?"<br/><br/>I thought about it for a moment, eating the last cookie before rewinding the pack. “Well, that’s a loaded question,” I said with a laugh. When she just stared at me, I let out a sigh. “Let’s see… my mom is the biggest weirdo in the universe, cause I’m not even sure about all the things that she can do- she’s like me and Lana times a hundred.” Sera’s eyes grew wide, and I smiled. “My dad and my uncle are basically con artists that hunt demons, my brother-in-law is the king of the ghouls, and my nephew is an android.”</p>
<p>“Well shit,” came a voice from behind us. “No wonder your commander always looks like he expects demons to rain down from the sky at any moment.” We turned to see Dorian, leaning against the fence behind us. “Your family seems to have scarred the poor man for life.”</p>
<p>I laughed. “He’s only met my mom before. He and my dad are…” I paused, trying to find a polite way to put it. “Not on the best of terms,” I said finally. “Dad is still a little pissed off that we got married without telling him.”</p>
<p>Dorian leaned over, plucking a cookie out of the package. “I daresay your father holds a grudge, Sam,” he said with a grin. “The man only has a few more centuries to go and I daresay he’d be a proper Tevene."</p>
<p>Sera scowled, looking Dorian up and down. “Who’s this fancy-pants? What’s his deal?”</p>
<p>Leaning over, I wrapped my arm around Dorian. “This is Dorian Pavus, and he is absolutely fucking amazing,” I replied. “One hundred percent team mage, unlike that bitchy barbie we got strutting around here.”</p>
<p>“Oh, you mean the princess that seems to think the entire world revolves around her and no one else comes close?” Dorian sniffed. “I’ve never seen such arrogance, and I’m from Tevinter.”</p>
<p>I grinned. “See? Anyone who thinks Vivienne can go suck a dick is a friend of mine.”</p>
<p>Sera finally smiled, looking over at Dorian. “What makes you come over here with the non-weird folks, Fancy Pants?"</p>
<p>Dorian rolled his eyes. “Not everyone seems to have gotten the memo that I’m not going to start murdering them or bathing in blood at any given moment. You southerners are such assholes when you come across something you don’t understand, I swear."</p>
<p>“Don’t lump me in with them,” I chided. “I’m not from here, remember?”</p>
<p>Both of them looked at me with interest. “And where are you from, exactly?” Dorian asked.</p>
<p>“Story for a later time,” I replied with a sigh. “We’d be here all night and I think Sera would run for the hills.”</p>
<p>“Possibly.” Dorian sighed. “Speaking of running, Leliana has sent me on a fetch quest to bring you back to the fold. However, I suspect it was more about getting me out of their hair than anything else- your Mother Giselle seems quite unnerved around me.”</p>
<p>“Guess we better head back then,” I said as I hopped down from the fence. “Looks like I’m on the clock again."</p>
<p>Sera muttered as she hopped down from the fence and grabbed her bow. “Fucking twats, the lot of you- there's not a normal one in the bunch out here."</p>
<p>“Probably not,” I agreed, patting her on the back and giving the elf a wide smile. “Probably not.”</p>
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<p>Lana had talked to Leli and Josie at length about her idea- she needed to know what their reaction to her plan would be. Leli could coordinate her scouts with Cullen’s troops, and Josie would be vital for the logistics and optics concerned with carrying her plan out.</p>
<p>All that was left was one final piece- Sam.</p>
<p>She hated to use her sister like this, but Cullen and Cass were right- there were too many risks around having blood mages and abominations in their ranks. She wanted to believe that her fellow mages would never do such a thing, but her choice to follow Jowan all those years had left her a bad taste in her mouth. She had died to avoid using blood magic and she’d be damned if she let anyone else under her command use it, either.</p>
<p>She was waiting in the Chantry when Dorian and Sam arrived, standing with a very unnerved Cullen, a stoic Cassandra, and a tense Leliana. Josie was in the corner, trying to stay out the way. “Hello, Sam.” Then she turned to Dorian. “Thanks for going to get her- I’m afraid Sera is still a bit on edge with me.”</p>
<p>“That’s an understatement,” Sam said with a smile. “So, what’s going on? You and Cullen aren’t fighting, so something’s up, Lana Banana.”</p>
<p>Lana smiled. “You’re right, Sam,” she admitted, looking guiltily at Dorian. “I want to try something to stop us from having blood mages in our ranks, but I’m afraid I’m going to need your help.”</p>
<p>“And I’m against this,” Dorian said, folding his arms. “The freedom implications notwithstanding, the massive drain our dear Sam’s mental state is going to be extreme.”</p>
<p>Cullen paled, turning to Lana. “What does he mean?”</p>
<p>“Will someone please tell me what’s going on?” Sam asked. “Since it sounds like you want my help with something, don’t you think you might want to, I don’t know, ask me a fucking question?”</p>
<p>Lana took a deep breath. “Well, I want to speak to the entire group of mages,” she began, avoiding Dorian’s disapproving gaze, “and give a speech.”</p>
<p>Sam’s eyes narrowed. “So far, this has nothing to do with me… I’m starting to get suspicious."</p>
<p>“Yes, dear Lana, why not get to the point,” Dorian said angrily. “You know, where you ask Sam to pre-judge hundreds on things they might do one day!”</p>
<p>“Wait, what?” Sam’s head swiveled to Lana. “Excuse me?”</p>
<p>Lana shifted uncomfortably. “Dorian is slightly exaggerating,” she replied quickly. “I want to speak and confirm that no one has already decided to use blood magic,” she said, looking at Cullen. “Those that have, we offer an option to renounce it and stay under templar control, or they leave.”</p>
<p>“So,” Sam said carefully, looking back and forth between Lana and Cullen, “Do you two realize how much energy that is going to take from me? Not to mention I have to be on fucking display looking out over all these goddamn threads? Not to mention how fucking wrong it is?” Sam shoved an angry finger in her face. “No, I won’t do it- We’re better than that.” She shook her head. “You’re better than that, Lana Banana.”</p>
<p>Hearing her own suspicions being tossed back at her made Lana’s heart sink. “If we let them go around unchecked while we close the breach, will we have any issues, Sam?”</p>
<p>Sam smiled at her. “Now that I can and will help you with, Lana.” She closed her eyes for a moment, then she went ashen- Lana gestured for someone to bring a bucket as Sam’s eyes flew open. “Oh god,” she whispered. “There’s a fixed point coming up.”</p>
<p>Cullen walked over to Sam, handing her a nearby water pail in case she got sick. “What do you mean, Sam?”</p>
<p>She shivered as her husband rubbed her back, then retched in the water pail. “I see us closing the breach,” she said when she’d recovered, “and I see us back in town. But after that, I see blackness- it was like being hurled into a brick wall. There is no going around, over or through that- it’s not meant for me to see. Which,” she said, staring at everyone, “is never good, guys.”</p>
<p>Cullen stiffened, then looked at Sam. “Do you know why? Any idea what causes it?”</p>
<p>Sam shook her head. “Nope. I see us partying one minute, then the next is darkness.” She looked at Lana anxiously, folding her hands nervously. “Guys, this one has me scared to death… I think,” she breathed nervously, “I think we need to send a note to mom, Lana.”</p>
<p>Lana felt the blood drain from her face- in all the time that she’d known her, Sam had never suggested reaching out to her mother for advice. Whatever she saw, or didn’t see, must have scared her. “Do you think she’ll help us?”</p>
<p>“Honestly? No,” Sam admitted. “But this isn’t good, guys- it feels like Broodmother bad, and I don’t have anything to go on here.”</p>
<p>At that, Cullen, Leliana, and Lana all exchanged looks with each other. Cass, Dorian, and Josie all stared at Sam. “Can someone explain to us non-legacy Team Mage members what in the world you’re talking about, Samantha?” Dorian asked. “What even is a Broodmother?”</p>
<p>“It’s a darkspawn we fought,” Leliana said quietly. “A battle we almost died in.” She grabbed Cullen's hand and squeezed it. "Had Sam not gotten a glimpse at her time powers, our Commander would have died that day.”</p>
<p>Cass looked at them, her face grim. “But surely for something this serious, your mother would be willing to help us, right?” The seeker looked at Lana, then at Sam, and then realized the sisters were both silent. “You think she would leave her daughters with no assistance?”</p>
<p>“It’s not that,” Sam said thoughtfully. “It’s more like she’ll do something to save us at the last minute. The minor details don’t matter to Mom most of the time- she’s a big picture person.”</p>
<p>“Would she leave everyone else to suffer?” Cassandra asked, her tone slightly horrified. “Even if she could prevent it?”</p>
<p>“Put it like this,” Sam said sadly. “She knew that Grace’s whole world was going to be destroyed in a war, but she said that there was nothing she could do about it. She knew my former brother-in-law was going to die, and she knew that someone was going to steal my nephew.” Now Cassandra looked horrified, and Josie and Dorian’s face matched her expression perfectly- Sam looked at Lana and sighed. “But she worked behind the scenes to make sure things worked out in the end. That’s what she does- hell, look at Lana.”</p>
<p>Lana nodded. “I never told you this, Sam,” she said, knowing that her sister was going to murder them all, but realizing that she had to confess. “But mom came to me… right after Morrigan offered me a blood magic ritual to save my life.”</p>
<p>Sam looked as if Lana had just slapped her. “Excuse me?” She cupped her hand around her ear. “I’mma need you to repeat that once more, Lana, cause it sounds like you just said that you had a way to <em>not fucking die that goddamn day!</em>”</p>
<p>Lana winced, knowing that Sam was ready to go into a rage that she full well deserved. “I…” she hung her head. “Yes, Sam. Morrigan offered-“</p>
<p>She didn’t get the chance to finish. Before she could say another word, her sister had crossed the room and slapped her across the face, hard. “You selfish fucking bitch,” she hissed as Dorian pulled Sam away from her. “You fucking <em>broke</em> me… and <em>Ali</em>… knowing that there was a way to prevent that shit?”</p>
<p>Cass was watching Sam carefully, but Leli and Cullen were both silent, just standing and watching. Lana wasn’t surprised- it seemed as both of them had not fully forgiven her for the pain she caused everyone all those years ago. "Morrigan offered to do a blood magic ritual that would take the soul of the archdemon and put it in the child of a grey warden… Alistair’s child,” she said quietly. “I couldn’t do it,” she said tears in her eyes. "No matter how much I wanted to stay with you, I couldn’t condemn the world to such a fate. I couldn’t let him do that, Sam- he’d never have forgiven me.”</p>
<p>Sam didn’t answer- instead, she glared at Lana, angrily flipping her off as she disappeared.</p>
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<p>“Alistair!” I screamed as I paced back and forth in the cabin. “Where the fuck are you! I need to talk to you <em>right fucking now!</em>”</p>
<p><em>Whoa</em>, he replied. <em>Sparrow, what’s going on? Are you ok?</em></p>
<p><em>Where the fuck are you, </em>I repeated. <em>I</em> <em>need to see you right now. I don’t care if you’re in the middle of a battle- I’ll freeze every motherfucker out there cause we gotta talk right the fuck now, Ali.</em></p>
<p><em>It’s fine- you can come,</em> he replied. <em>Just calm down and tell me what’s going on. Are you and Lana okay?</em></p>
<p>“Fuck her and the horse she rode in on,” I growled, appearing behind him. “Did you know?” I asked, poking him in the chest as he backed up, a confused look on his face. “Answer me!” I screamed. “Did you fucking know!”</p>
<p>Alistair held up his hands. “What the hell are you talking about, Sam? What’s gotten into you?” I couldn’t answer him- I just started sobbing, and he wrapped me in a big hug. “Sparrow, I’m going to need you to use your words instead of poking at me violently,” he said gently as he wiped my face. “Now take a moment and talk to me- what’s going on?”</p>
<p>“Morrigan could’ve saved Lana,” I whispered. “There was a ritual all those years ago, and Lana wouldn’t have had to die,” I choked out. “Did you know about this?”</p>
<p>His face hardened. “I think I misheard you, Sam. Are you asking if I knew that there was a way to save the love of my life and I didn’t do it? Because I know you can’t possibly be that stupid to think something like that.”</p>
<p>I slumped my shoulders. “Lana just told me,” I whispered. “Mom came to her after she refused the ritual.” I shook my head. “She left us, Ali. She had a chance to save herself and she died, knowing what would happen to us when she left.”</p>
<p>“Oh, Sam,” Alistair said, hugging me tightly. “I don’t know what to say.”</p>
<p>I pushed him on his chest and barely moved the man, which only frustrated me even more. “That you’re mad! That you want to shake the shit out of her for being so fucking stupid!” I let out a scream, kicking the ground. “She could have been here with us all this time, Ali!”</p>
<p>“But at what cost, Sam? You know Lana,” he said quietly, sitting on a log nearby and pulling me next to him. “Would she have been able to live with herself afterward? Would she have even been the same Lana?”</p>
<p>“She would have been here!” I yelled. “She left me! She left you!”</p>
<p>“She did,” he agreed, hugging me. “But she came back, Sam… she’s here now.”</p>
<p>“Why are you so damn calm! Aren’t you mad?” I said, wiping my eyes. “We could have had all that time with her, Ali.”</p>
<p>“I’m doing what you should be doing, which is trying to think,” he said gently. “Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how we feel about the past- she’s with us now. Well, with you, at least,” he corrected sadly. “I’m still trying to find a way to make it to you guys.”</p>
<p>I closed my eyes and leaned against him, exhausted and spent- I shouldn’t have traveled so soon after looking into that choice. “Great,” I complained. “I’ve got nothing with me but a bag of Oreos and my ring is dead.”</p>
<p>“Do you ever come to see me with a way to get back?” Ali teased. “I’m sensing a theme here, Sparrow- I think someone’s angling for a sleepover.”</p>
<p>“Ass,” I replied, but I finally cracked a smile. “Don’t get so full of yourself- I was mad and you were the first person I thought of.”</p>
<p>“I can’t imagine that going over well with Rutherford,” Ali said as he poked me in the side. “I love you and all, but I only have eyes for your sister, Sam.”</p>
<p>“Oh stuff it, Ali,” I said with a smile. I felt the prickles of them inside my head, and I winced. “I wouldn’t date you if you were the last man on Earth.”</p>
<p>“You’re not on Earth,” he teased. He looked at me and twisted his lips into a slight frown. “They’re calling you, aren’t they.” I scowled and he nodded. “Who is it?”</p>
<p>“Lana,” I said angrily. “Not willing to talk to her just yet- I kinda slapped her in the face and disappeared.”</p>
<p>At that, Alistair gave me a look of surprise. “And she didn’t fry you on the spot?”</p>
<p>I shook my head. “She might when I come back though.”</p>
<p>He laughed. “Somehow I don’t think she will, Sparrow. You should let her know you’re ok- plus, weren’t you guys getting ready to seal that big tear in the sky?”</p>
<p>“I want to go home,” I said, ignoring him. “I’m just fucking done with all of this.”</p>
<p>“Even me?” Ali asked, fluttering his long lashes at me. I groaned, and he bumped me with his hip. “You know you’re here with us- no fair always trying to run away. You’re going to have to talk to her sooner or later, Sparrow.”</p>
<p>“Then let it be later,” I growled, closing my eyes and resting against him. “Until I can recharge, you’re stuck with me, Ali.” I frowned as I closed my eyes. “Cause I’m not looking to talk to her ass right now, that’s for damn sure.”</p>
<p>“I’m always happy to have you, Sparrow,” Ali said as he rubbed my shoulder. “But I still think you should let your husband know where you are.”</p>
<p>“I’ll think about it,” I grumbled. “In the meantime, talk to me so I don’t go punch something.”</p>
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<p>Cullen looked around the room at others and sighed. “She’s not coming back until she gets good and ready,” he remarked wearily. “We should make the most of the time.”</p>
<p>Dorian looked at him, aghast. “Your wife… just disappeared… after slapping the snot out of her sister… and you want to make battle plans?” He looked around the room and shook his head angrily. “What the fuck is wrong with you people?”</p>
<p>“Save for the slapping,” Cullen replied, “It’s not that new. Usually, she leaves to prevent physical violence, however.”</p>
<p>“Admittedly, I deserved it,” Lana said as she rubbed her cheek, encasing her hand in ice and holding it to her face. “I knew she was going to be mad, but I certainly didn’t expect that.”</p>
<p>“She missed you a great deal,” Leliana said simply. “Your absence changed everything, Lana.” She looked over at Cullen, who nodded. “We all had to learn to live without you- I can only imagine the shock she feels knowing that there was another way.”</p>
<p>“There wasn’t,” a voice said from the back of the room.</p>
<p>Cullen looked over to see his mother in law standing against the wall, and he was torn between breathing a sigh of relief and tensing up at her presence. “Nia,” he said softly. “You came.”</p>
<p>“Only because my girls just got into a fight,” she replied with a chuckle. “One moment,” she said as she turned to the chair next to her, where Sam had suddenly materialized, looking extremely surprised at her arrival. “Hey kid,” she said, hugging her. “Missed you.”</p>
<p>Dorian just stared at the woman in shock, then rubbed his eyes. “Am I seeing this?”</p>
<p>“You are,” Lana replied, then turned to Nia, suddenly looking very uncomfortable. “Hi, Mom,” she said quietly.</p>
<p>“C’mere, Lana Banana,” Nia said as she wrapped the girl in her arms. “Missed you too, kiddo.” She looked back and forth at the two girls. “Feels strange to be back here after all this time."</p>
<p>“That’s putting it mildly,” Cullen said as he approached her, offering his hand. Nia looked exactly the same- tall, with wavy dark hair hanging over her back and the same piercing green eyes as her daughters. “I wish you had the occasion to visit under better circumstances, however."</p>
<p>“I,” Sam said huffily, crossing her arms over her chest, “was just fine where I was.” She looked down at her ring, which was completely black- the girl scowled. “Really, Mom? You’re making me stay?”</p>
<p>“Samantha Cassiopeia,” Nia warned, fixing Sam with a stern look. “I’d be quiet if I were you.”</p>
<p>Sam started to say something, but Nia glared at her. Suddenly, the room felt like the temperature had dropped about ten degrees- he noticed Josie rubbing her arms to warm herself up, and he could see his breath on the air. Quickly, Sam looked up at her mother, then swallowed, lowering her eyes. “Yes, ma’am.”</p>
<p>The air suddenly returned to normal, and Dorian leaned over to Cassandra. “That woman has magic like I’ve never seen,” he said quietly. “I daresay you’ve just found something more terrifying than me, Seeker."</p>
<p>“I… would have to agree,” Cassandra said in awe. “Maker preserve us,” she whispered.</p>
<p>Cullen just smiled as Nia turned to the Altus. “Thank you, Mr. Pavus- I’m going to take that as a compliment,” she said with a slight wink, then turned to Lana and Sam, who were decidedly not speaking to each other. “I’m a little pissed off because I’m not supposed to be here again, but since these two decided to get into a snit instead of <em>saving the world</em>,” she said pointedly, causing the girls to squirm, “I decided to step in.” She pointed at Sam. “What did you dad tell you, kid?”</p>
<p>Sam sighed. “Family comes first.” Then, she jerked her thumb at Lana. “You could be telling <em>her</em> the same thing, Mom- she abandoned me!” She flopped back in her seat, arms still crossed over her chest. "I would never do that!”</p>
<p>Lana leaned over, eyes pleading as she reached for her sister. “Sam, you have to understand-“</p>
<p>“I don’t have to do a damn thing, Solana!” Sam snapped, jerking her hand away. Everyone in the room except for Nia gasped- no one except Cullen had ever heard her use her sister’s actual name before.</p>
<p>“Oh for fuck's sake,” Nia said, rolling her eyes. “Grow the hell up, kid- it had to happen that way. And you two need to get your shit together- something big is coming.”</p>
<p>At that, the two girls turned toward their mom, eyes wide. “You’ve seen it?” Sam asked, her ire seemingly forgotten for the moment. “I tried searching… but I couldn’t get anything but darkness.”</p>
<p>“There’s a reason for that,” Nia replied quietly, settling on the table in front of them. “Your mages are not the problem… trust me on this.”</p>
<p>“If you know, you must tell us what the problem is," Cassandra said forcefully, causing Cullen, Lana, and Sam to draw in a deep breath- they were all well aware of the consequences of trying to order the woman to do anything. Cullen sincerely hoped Nia wouldn’t incinerate Cassandra on the spot- they needed her.</p>
<p>Instead, Nia just laughed. “It’s okay, guys- I know where the seeker is coming from- I’d be tense too if this was being thrust at me with no explanation.” Then she turned to the girls, her face grim. “All I can tell you is after you close the breach, maybe someone should hold a service in the Chantry,” Nia said pointedly, then gestured to a few bags that had appeared on the table. “And maybe that stuff will be useful," she said with a shrug. “Who knows?”</p>
<p>Leliana started to open the bag, but Nia tutted her hand, causing the spymaster to jump back. “I wouldn’t do that just yet, Sister Nightingale. I think, for now, it’s enough that you know you have it,” she said pointedly. “In fact, I think you should keep in mind a few things you know, Leliana.”</p>
<p>“She’s speaking in blasted riddles,” Dorian huffed. “If she knows so bloody much, then why won’t she just tell us?”</p>
<p>“I’ve been asking that question all my life, Dorian,” Sam said as she let out a sigh. “But the fact that she’s telling us this much means that we got a shitshow coming.”</p>
<p>“Ding,” Nia said brightly, hopping off the table and tapping on Sam’s head. “Enough moping! I’d pack my bags and get set for an adventure if I were you, Mr. Rutherford. And for heaven’s sake, I bought you guys coats for a reason- you might want to wear them,” she said, gesturing to Lana and Sam. “You’re going to catch your death of cold out here.”</p>
<p>Cullen looked at Sam, who was getting paler by the minute. <em>What’s wrong, love?</em></p>
<p><em>It’s a message,</em> she replied in his head, looking at him, then at Lana.<em> She’s not crazy in the slightest- it’s code.</em></p>
<p>Lana looked at Sam and reached over for her hand again- this time, Sam didn’t push her away, but grabbed her hand and squeezed it tight. “We’re gonna have words later, Lana. But it seems like this takes precedence."</p>
<p>“I would agree,” Nia said with a nod. “You’re stronger together… remember that. In horror movies, the worst thing you can do is split up,” Nia said as she stared at Sam.</p>
<p>“What is she talking about?” Dorian asked Cullen, staring at the woman. “It sounds like she’s positively addled!”</p>
<p>“Don’t do that,” Cullen warned, watching as the woman raised an eyebrow. “I’d let this go if I were you, Dorian.”</p>
<p>“Wise words, Rutherford. Keep those same wits about you in the days to come- there are some battles you can’t win,” she said, staring directly at him. “Sometimes you have to learn when to let it go so you can live to fight another day.”</p>
<p>Cullen felt his mouth go dry, but he forced himself to nod. “Understood,” he replied. He wasn’t sure if he really did, but it was the best answer he had at the moment. “Thank you for all your help, Nia.”</p>
<p>“I’d say anytime, but I’d be lying,” she replied. “At any rate, I’ve got to get out of here- I’m babysitting and I’m sure Jenny is torturing your dad, Sam.” She gave them a bright smile. “Oh well, may as well give you these.” She handed them each a figurine in what looked like a glass box, and set a plate of cookies on the table, causing Dorian and Cass to gasp at the sudden appearance of the items.</p>
<p>“I cannot,” Dorian muttered. “I simply cannot- my brain is going to explode at any given moment, I’m sure of it."</p>
<p>Nia ignored him, gesturing to the items she’d given the girls. "Shaun made them for you guys when I told him I’d be coming to see you today- he also helped me bake the cookies. Fair warning, if they’re a bit sweet, it’s the thought that counts- he tried really hard, but Jenny is a goddamn terror and dumped some extra sugar inside. We did the best we could, but it’s kind of a mess, I’ll admit.”</p>
<p>“You knew this would happen?” Lana asked, staring at the figurine and turning it over and over in her hands. “How?”</p>
<p>Nia gave her a look. “Lana, after all this time, do you really want to ask me that question?”</p>
<p>Lana sighed, then squeezed Sam’s hand, who squeezed hers back. “I suppose not, Mom."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Zip it, Breach!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With the help of the rebel mages, Lana and Sam head off to seal the Breach.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><hr/><p>When Nia disappeared in front of them, Lana turned to Sam with wide eyes. “I believe,” she said slowly, “that we have a lot to do before we seal the breach.” </p><p>“Do we tell the others?” Cassandra said. “Should we tell them about what just happened?”</p><p>“Abso-fucking-lutely not,” Sam said, trying a cookie and wincing. “Bless his heart, these cookies are a fucking sugar bomb!” She shook her head, then shuddered as she finished the treat, brushing her hands off on her pants. “Trust me on this one, she knew exactly what she was doing- if she wanted any more people around, they would’ve been here.” </p><p>Cassandra nodded, looking for all the world like she didn’t trust herself to speak. Lana walked over and gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “Trust me-  it gets easier to accept as time goes on.” </p><p>Cullen pointed to the bags. “In the meanwhile, what do we do about these bags and Nia's request to hold a service? How do we accomplish that when we haven’t even sealed the breach yet?”</p><p>Josie smiled. “Leave that to me- I’ll work it out,” she said confidently. </p><p>It was at that moment that Lana realized why Nia had let the Ambassador stay in the room, and her eyes widened, turning to <em>Sam. She did that on purpose</em>, she thought. </p><p>Sam nodded. Yeah, she read the room and gave everyone a job… except for Cass and Dorian. Her sister frowned. Why is that, you think?</p><p>Lana shrugged. <em>Not sure. I think that meaning is going to be apparent later. But she told us to stick together, Sam. And to wear our coats, though I can’t figure that one out.</em></p><p><em>I’m not going to question it</em>, Sam replied. <em>My husband can finally go suck an egg with his ’no Earth clothes’ rule, cause Mom told us to wear them- you heard her.</em></p><p>Lana smiled. <em>I did, and I am very pleased with the thought of wearing that coat again. It was delightfully warm.</em> Her eyes flitted down, and she gasped. <em>Sam, your ring.</em></p><p><em>What about it?</em> Sam asked. <em>It’s drained, remember? </em></p><p><em>I would check again if I were you,</em> Lana said, pointing at it.<em> Our nephew and niece may have given you a save, Sam. </em></p><p><em>Son of a bitch,</em> Sam replied as she shook her head, laughing to herself as she looked at the now clear ring. <em>It’s the food equivalent of a Red Bull, Lana. It’s a portable emergency snack.  </em></p><p><em>Then we must take some with us,</em> she said as she took one from the bag on the table, wincing as the sugar hit her tongue. <em>Maker, these are… quite terrible, actually. </em></p><p><em>Betcha feel pretty good though, don’t you</em>? Sam said with a smile. </p><p>Lana knew they weren’t ok, but it was a start- she’d gladly take any progress she could make with her sister. <em>I love you, Sam. You have to know that I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose. </em></p><p><em>I love you too, Lana Banana,</em> she replied, hugging her. <em>Still mad, but I love you. </em></p><p>“Are they ever going to talk?” Dorian asked angrily, causing the two women to jump. “You two have been shooting each other meaningful looks for the past few minutes while we try to figure out what to do! I hope it was worth it,” he added.</p><p>“I think so,” Lana replied, squeezing Sam’s hand. “In the meantime, let us get ready- it seems we all have roles to play."</p><p class="p1">
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</p><hr/><p>While Lana was talking to Fiona, Cullen was back in our cabin, double and triple-checking my backpack. “Is that everything she sent you?” Cullen asked for what felt like the millionth time. “I just want to make sure we have everything.” </p><p>“Cullen,” I said gently, “there’s nothing left in the room- you’ve got it all in the bag!” It was true- everything we had was rolled up as tightly as it could be into bags that Cullen had moved by the door to take to the Chantry. I protested the fact that he was taking all my extra snacks and food away from me, but he countered with the fact that Mom had left the bigger bags in the Chantry. His logic was if that’s where she wanted those bags, then ours needed to go there as well. I gave up on trying to convince him otherwise, simply taking out a few snacks and putting them in my travel bag- it wasn’t worth the argument and if it made him feel better, then I wasn’t going to push the issue.</p><p>“Honey, you can calm down, I promise,” I said, touching him on his shoulder as he paced the room. “Nothing is going to happen until after we close the breach.”</p><p>“I can’t help it,” he admitted. “Your mother told me that something was going to happen.” Cullen began running a hand through his hair, sighing as he moved to a drawer and grabbed his gel out of it, tossing it into a bag. “I know I might be being a bit paranoid, but I cannot shake the feeling that I’m missing something.”</p><p>“If the great Cullen Rutherford missed it, then it wasn’t meant to be found," I replied lightly. "Seriously, take a minute and breathe,” I said, guiding him to the bed next to me. “Take this off,” I said, pointing to his armor.  When he gave me a pointed look, I smiled. “No funny business, I promise- I just want to help you relax.” He started to protest, but I cut him off. “No- I need you in peak condition tomorrow morning. This means sleeping,” I said pointedly. “You’re wound up as hell, so I'm going to give you a massage.”</p><p>“I don’t believe I’m familiar with that word,” he said as he began to strip his armor. “But what of my duties? What happens if I don’t finish my reports?” </p><p>I thought about it, searching the threads. “Absolutely nothing,” I told him. “You can afford to have dinner with your wife and relax for once, I assure you. I see nothing in those reports that'll blow up if it’s done another day.”</p><p>He sighed, setting his armor on the stand and sitting at the table with his head in his hands. “Sam, you don’t understand,” he pleaded. “I cannot fail- there is too much riding on this.”</p><p>“Agreed,” I replied. “Now, eat- I’m going to take these bags back to the Chantry. When I come back, I expect to see you eating food and not reading reports, ok?”</p><p>He smiled, and I could see the ghosts of exhaustion on his face. “If that is what you wish, Lady Rutherford.” <br/>—<br/>Focusing on the war room, I traveled inside and almost landed right on Josie, who was making lists and double-checking things. “Ah, Sam! You startled me!”</p><p>I gave her a sheepish grin. “My mistake, Josie- the commander has just packed practically everything we own into bags and told me to take it inside here- I’d say he’s being paranoid but I also know my mother, so I figured it might be best to just do as he asks.”</p><p>Josie bit her lip, resting her quill against her face. “Do you truly think something dire is going to happen?”</p><p>“I wish I could say otherwise,” I replied as I sat on the table, swinging my legs back and forth. “But she doesn’t help unless it affects her family, and even then she isn’t going to win any awards for customer service,” I said dejectedly. “Dollars to donuts, Dad asked her to come and help us.” I gave the ambassador a wistful smile. “I wish him or Grace were here- they’d tell me what’s going on with no hesitation.” Suddenly, I realized I didn’t know all that much about Josie, and I turned to look at her. “Do you have any family members here?” </p><p>“No, I am afraid I am alone here,” she said with a smile. “My family is all in Antiva, and considering the state of Thedas at the moment, I am thankful for it.”</p><p>My eyes brightened. “Oh, Antiva! You mean like Zevran!” </p><p>Josephine let out a bright little laugh. “Yes, though there are more things than guilds of assassins in Antiva, dear Sam.”</p><p>“Could’ve fooled me,” I teased. “That’s all I seem to run into out here.”</p><p>She chuckled again as she resumed her inventory, her quill resting against her mouth. “Then maybe that has more to do with you and the company you keep than the state of our fair country, Samantha.”</p><p>“Entirely possible.” I gave her a hearty laugh as I hopped down from the table and started to leave the room. “Is there anything you need from me, Josie?” </p><p>She sighed, shaking her head. “No, not at this moment. I have spoken to Mother Giselle, and she has agreed to strongly urge the residents to join us in the chantry after we return if we are victorious. She was rather suspicious as to the reason, but when I noted that the savior-“ I rolled my eyes, and she tittered before continuing, “- suggested that it would be the best thing for everyone, she acquiesced.” The ambassador gave me a wry look. “I’m quite curious as to what you two have done to get her on your side.”</p><p>“Just killed a shit ton of bears,” I replied with a grin. “Nothing major."</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>Varric was walking into the tavern, and almost did a double-take when he saw Cassandra and Dorian sitting at the bar together.</p><p><em>What in the Maker is going on here</em>, he wondered as he approached. The two were so engrossed in their conversation that they didn’t notice Varric sitting next to them, which was fine by him- the best eavesdropping was usually done in plain sight. </p><p>“And do they just think things like that are normal?” Dorian said, tossing his hands in the air. "Fasta vass, what are you Southerners into anyway?”</p><p>“I cannot say it was normal,” Cassandra said as she took a sip of her ale, “but it wasn’t exactly surprising, given the things I’ve seen them do so far.” </p><p>“Since I’ve got here,” Dorian hissed, ticking things off on his fingers, “I’ve been sucked into Sam’s mind, seen a vision of the entire world being destroyed, and now this? Even for me, this is a bit much!”</p><p>Cassandra shrugged. “There is a hole in the sky- I should think ‘much’ is par for the course, Dorian.” When the seeker looked up, she finally noticed Varric sitting there, and glared at him angrily. “What do you want, dwarf?”</p><p>Varric grinned. “Just wondering what’s got you and Sparkler over here in such a state.” He gestured to Dorian. “I mean, he’s usually up in arms about something, but you’re never in here, Seeker- something big must be going on.”</p><p>"It is of no concern of yours, dwarf," Cassandra said pointedly, her hands balling into fists. "So you can kindly leave... <em>now</em>."</p><p>She continued to glare at him, and Varric noticed that she was not so much angry as… <em>frightened</em>. “I’m just saying,” he continued affably, “maybe I can help- I’ve been dealing with Amell craziness for the past ten years, so I might have some insight to give you.” He smiled at them. “Shit, the first time I met Sparrow, she had Curly toss a handful of crap into Hawke’s face and stopped time to make her cousin stop being such a prick.”</p><p>“Can’t say that surprises me,” Dorian replied, sipping his drink again. “Considering our dear Samantha just slapped the shit out of Lana today, I hesitate to see how she’d handle anyone else.”</p><p>Varric blinked, then looked at Cassandra, who just continued to sip her drink and actively ignore him. “Wait… did you just say…"</p><p>“The two of them got into a catfight in the war room this afternoon,” Dorian replied. “Lana confessed to something that Sam took offense to, then Sam slapped her and disappeared. Then,” he said, pointing to Varric emphatically, “her mother appeared, hauled Sam back into the room like a cat dragging a kitten, almost froze us when Sam decided to backtalk, and left us with a cryptic ass message of impending doom. And yet, no one around here seems to be as bothered about this as I am!” He shook his head. “I do not understand you people… <em>at all!</em>”</p><p>Cassandra sighed. “Didn’t they say <em>not</em> to talk about this with anyone outside of the War Room?” She gestured to Varric. “Particularly not the dwarf who likes to rewrite history and omit important details,” she said pointedly.</p><p>“Oh come on, Seeker,” Varric said, rolling his eyes. “We already established that Curly made me promise not to get Sparrow involved in our bullshit. You know good and well that if I had the choice, I would have added her to my book in a minute.”</p><p>“Whatever,” the seeker growled. “The fact remains is that you have your own agenda, Varric.”</p><p>“We all have our own agenda, Seeker,” he replied plainly. “And right now mine consists of figuring out what’s going on with Hero and Sparrow, considering we’re all heading out to seal the Breach together.” He looked back and forth between the two of them. "Do I have to worry about keeping them from killing each other out there?”</p><p>“Strangely, no,” Dorian replied. “They seem to be okay with each other for the time being- they did their talk-without-words thing while the rest of us just sat there trying to decipher the crazy shit their mother said.” He finished his drink, sitting the empty glass on the counter. “I hope all this is worth it- if we come back tomorrow and we still have a glowing nightmare in the sky, I shall be very put out.”</p><p>“You and me both, Sparkles,” Varric said with a laugh. “I want to get out of this cold as soon as I can. Besides, Bianca is starting to miss her home at the Hanged Man- you should join me over there sometime.” </p><p>“If they serve better swill than this, I should be forever grateful,” Dorian said with a nod. “I will probably expire from happiness when a decent vintage crosses my lips after drinking this for so long.” </p><p>“Probably won’t be able to help you with that,” Varric replied. “But you’ll at least have some great company."</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>Lana was dressed in the puffy grey coat, looking for all the world like she was encased in fluffy armor as she walked in front of the group of mages. Sam wasn’t faring much better in her red version of the same coat, looking strangely content for the first time in a while. “You look oddly happy, Sam,” Lana said gently- she knew Sam was probably still mad at her, but if she was, her sister hadn’t mentioned it. “Happy to close a breach today?”</p><p>“Nope, just really happy to be warm for once,” she replied, snuggling further into her coat. “I feel like I’m complete, and I got a fuckload of these sugar bomb cookies in my pocket, so I think we’re all set.” Sam looked at Lana, then grabbed her hand. “Love you, Lana Banana,” she whispered. “These fuckers all are looking up to us, but I’m scared out of my goddamn mind.”</p><p>“I am too, Sam,” she replied. “It seems like we are always in situations where we’re leading, doesn’t it?”</p><p>“Kinda funny, considering we can’t tell our asses from a hole in the ground,” Sam said with a grin. Then the smile faded from her face, and she let out a sigh, the vapors from her mouth crystalizing on the wind. “Sorry I slapped you, Lana.”</p><p>Lana smiled. “I deserved it. Sorry I died,” she replied. “I promise, I will accept all blood magic rituals and demon possessions I get offered in the future if it means that I get to keep you with me,” she replied as she hugged Sam around her tiny shoulders. “Family comes first, after all.”</p><p>“Yeah, well family won’t make you sell your soul to be with them, so we can work on finding some better options,” Sam said with a grin. “From now on, no secrets on Team Mage, ok? Whatever I know, you know, and vice versa- got it?” </p><p>“Agreed,” Lana replied as they approached the Temple of Sacred Ashes. “Well, this is it,” she said as she stared up at the sky. “We seal this breach today.” She looked down at Sam, then squeezed her hand. “If this works and Mom lets you come home afterward,” she said wistfully, “I have to be honest, Sam- I want you to stay. Even with closing the Breach, there’s too much to do out here- I don’t know if I can do it without you.”</p><p>“Lana,” Sam chided, “you are fucking amazeballs. You can do anything, and you damn sure don’t need me to do it. I’m just your sidekick- I’m the Robin to your Batman, the lasso to your Wonder Woman. Trust and believe Lana Banana- you got this.”</p><p>“No,” Lana said quickly. “You’re the Ron to my Harry, dear sister. And we both know that is a bond that cannot be broken.” </p><p>“Somehow I suspect that you got more than just a synopsis from Mom’s journal, Lana,” Sam remarked with casual suspicion. “Care to share some information with me?”</p><p>Lana gave her a wry glance. “You know, it is amazing how many books a phone can hold,” she said with a grin. “Learning your language has certainly presented me with some interesting academic thoughts on how your world views mages.”</p><p>“You have them on your phone!” When Lana just grinned, Sam punched her lightly in the shoulder. "I <em>knew</em> you’d read them!"</p><p>“Well, I <em>am</em> usually awake long before you,” she chided. “And seeing as your cabin is the furthest and most peaceful, it only made sense to have breakfast in there once the Commander heads off for training.” She shrugged, then smiled. “A little light reading with my morning meal seemed like a reasonable way to spend the time.”</p><p>“Okay, we're totally having a book club when we get all this taken care of,” Sam said with a grin. “Also, I’m having a chat with my husband on boundaries, because you’re just a little too free with my house and my shit.”</p><p>“We’ll see,” Lana said smugly, giggling as Sam shoved her playfully. From the corner of her eye, she saw Cassandra, Varric, and Dorian watching them. Trying to put her companions at ease, Lana waved- the Seeker gave her a small smile in return, apparently satisfied that the two girls were no longer at each other’s throats. “Seeker,” she said kindly. “Are we ready?”</p><p>Cassandra nodded. “The mages all stand with you- Solas is inside the temple, getting them into position.” Then she eyed Lana’s coat suspiciously. “I suspect they will have no trouble locating you two on the field today.”</p><p>“Cass, as soon as all this is over, we're letting you guys try these on,” Sam said, gesturing the coat. “I promise, nothing short of crawling inside a Tauntaun is ever going to come close to how warm I feel inside this thing.”</p><p>“I’m ready to take it from you now,” Dorian said as he shivered, rubbing his hands over his arms. “Fasta vass, it’s cold out here!” </p><p>Sam let out a loud laugh at that, then began speaking in a language Lana didn’t understand. Cassandra seemed just as confused- she and Lana looked at each other, then back to Sam, whereas Varric just grinned. “Um, Sparrow,” Varric said gently, tapping the girl on the shoulder, “since Broody isn’t here, do you mind translating for the rest of us?”</p><p>Her sister looked at him, confused. “You guys didn’t understand me just then?”</p><p>“I’m afraid I’m the only one who speaks Tevene around here, and I daresay you just spoke it better than I,” Dorian replied. The mage turned to the other two and frowned. “Does this happen often?”</p><p>“She mirrors whatever you speak,” Lana replied. “So I think she translated your curse and spoke to you that way because of it.” </p><p>“Well aren’t you just darling,” Dorian droned, reaching over to pinch Sam's cheeks. “Full of surprises, this one is. At any rate, she offered to let me try on her coat,” he sat his staff on the ground and stuck his hand out. “And I am more than happy to accept her offer, as I am freezing my ass off out here.”</p><p>Sam laughed. “Here you go,” she said, stripping off the coat and handing it to him, clad in Grace’s sweatshirt underneath. “But I want it back.” </p><p>Dorian slid his narrow arms inside, then groaned as Sam zipped him inside her coat, placing his cloak over her shoulders in the meantime. “Oh my,” he breathed, his eyes rolling in the back of his head. “This is wonderful- it’s like being encased in a warm bedroll!” He hugged his arms across his chest, then glared at Sam playfully. “Why would your mother not offer these to the rest of us!”</p><p>He turned away as Sam tried to unzip him- Lana laughed. “Are you sure you need this back?” Dorian whined, stomping his feet and trying to move away from her. "You're from this damnable place- you can adjust!"</p><p>“Quite sure,” Sam replied. “But if it’s going to get you to stop being such a brat about the cold, then I’ll swap with you for a while.” She spun in a circle, letting Dorian’s cloak billow out behind her. “Besides, I look damn good in this cloak.” </p><p>“Not as good as I do,” Dorian replied, placing the hood over his face and yanking on the strings as Sam had done. Soon, only a mustache and a pair of eyes were visible, causing the others to chuckle. “But I’ll take looking like this puffy abomination if it means I get to be warm for a while.”</p><p>Cassandra let out an actual laugh at that. “I think we found the one thing in Thedas that could quiet our resident Altus,” she joked. “Do you think if we encased Madame De Fer in one of these contraptions she might prove to be pleasant for once?”</p><p>“Cass,” Sam said, wiping her eyes from laughter, “I don’t think there’s a coat in this or any world that could accomplish that task.”<br/>—</p><p>“Mages!” Solas called out, addressing the rebel mages stationed around the temple. “Focus past the Herald! Let her will draw from you!” </p><p>“Oh, is that what we’re doing,” Sam quipped, causing a bundled up Dorian to poke her in the side. “Funny, I thought she was just gonna drain me like a glass of juice while they did all kinds of magic shit behind our backs.”</p><p>“That may not be entirely inaccurate,” Lana replied, her face slightly taut. “I’m ready to take whatever help I can get to close this thing.” </p><p>“Then let’s do this,” she replied. “Savior and Herald, one more time.” She paused, looking thoughtful. “Would it be totally inappropriate if I started playing some Beyonce and Jay-Z right now?” </p><p>To Lana’s chagrin, Sam started humming- Lana groaned. “For the love of the Maker, don’t sing, Sam. We’ve got enough problems, I assure you.” Then thinking better of it, she reached out and smacked Sam’s hand that was reaching inside her pocket. <em>And no phone!</em></p><p>“You’re no fun,” Sam grumbled. “Fine, I’ll die with no soundtrack. See if I care.” She scowled at Lana, crossing her arms and pouting. <em>I didn't even have the damn thing with me, you jerk. </em></p><p>Despite her irritation, Lana let out a laugh. Shaking her head, she turned to Cassandra. “We’re ready,” she said softly, taking Sam’s hand and channeling the energy on the air that was starting to swirl around them. “Everyone- let us show them what mages can do!"</p><p>Lana raised her mark to the sky, and energy began to pour out, causing Sam to scream in pain as the mark flared to life. Every fiber of her being was telling her to stop, to check on her sister, but she knew she couldn’t- they had to keep going and flood the breach with every bit of energy they could. She could feel the mana from the mages behind them, and she worked to channel it into her sister, hoping the extra would be enough to keep her with them and let them seal this blasted thing once and for all. <em>Stay with me</em>, she thought. <em>You can do this, Sam!</em></p><p><em>I can’t!</em> Sam replied, tears streaming down her cheeks.<em> I can’t do this, Lana- I’m not strong enough!</em></p><p><em>You are!</em> Lana thought sharply. <em>Roberts women don’t give up, Sam!</em> She focused even more energy into her sister as her mark flared brighter and brighter- each time it did, her sister screamed out in pain. <em>We can do this! Team Mage doesn’t give up!</em></p><p>Suddenly, there was an ear-piercing wail, and Lana could take no more- she reached over, grabbing her sister and pulling her close to her. Sam wrapped her arms around her, and as soon as they connected, there was an explosion and a blinding light- Lana couldn’t see anything except Sam crying in front of her. “I’ve got you,” she whispered. “Family first, always.” </p><p>“Always,” Sam whispered as she cried into her shoulder. “I’m sorry, Lana- I wasn’t strong enough. The one time you needed me and I couldn’t help you- I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“Shh,” Lana said, rubbing Sam’s hair. “We’ll find another way- we always do.” Her ears were ringing- it sounded like thunder roaring over her, causing her to wince at the sound. She’d have to get healed when she returned to town… if they let them back in. </p><p>Just then, she felt a hand on her shoulder and she stiffened- Lana was in no mood to hear about her failures, and neither was she willing to hear anyone chastise Sam for doing anything less than everything she could. “Yes,” she said tersely, “What is it?”</p><p>“You did it,” Cassandra said gently, kneeling next to her. “You two have sealed the breach."</p><p>“Come again?” Lana said, turning to look at the seeker. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“Look around,” Dorian said, offering his puffy red arms to help them up. “A group of mages just sealed the breach- don’t you hear that applause?” When they were standing, he opened his arms wide to the temple. “Listen to it- all of that is for you.” </p><p>“Holy shit,” Sam said shakily, looking up at the sky and wrapping her arm around Lana’s waist. “It’s gone, Lana- look at it!”  </p><p>When Lana looked upward, she let out a gasp- just as Sam said, there was only a bright green scar in the sky where the breach had been moments before. “We did it,” she whispered, looking at her sister with wide eyes. “We sealed the breach.”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“I almost died,” I said as I rode on the horse with Dorian. “The least you can do is give me back my coat.” </p><p>“Not until I’m back in town with a glass in my hand,” he said, voice muffled from the hood. “Until then, no- I’m claiming ownership of this puffy monstrosity."</p><p>“Whatever,” I replied, leaning back against him. “Gimme one of those terrible cookies out of the pocket, would you?” Wordlessly, he handed me a cookie and I munched on it gratefully, the sugar rush giving me a much-needed energy boost. I still felt like death, but I would at least be able to remain upright. “Thanks, Dorian.”</p><p>“It’s the least I can do for the first person in this blasted country to make me feel welcome,” he replied. “And warm, I might add.”</p><p>I laughed. “You will have to give me the coat back, Dorian- Mom told me I needed to wear it.”</p><p>“She could have easily just been referring to the fact that you needed it to give to me,” he whined. “Dearest Samantha, I need this coat in my life until I can get a warm beverage and a soft bed.”</p><p>“Only till we get to the bar,” I warned. “Then you owe me my coat… I mean it.”</p><p>“Yes, well, we shall see,” he replied, giving me a smirk. “That bar is terribly drafty, you know.” </p><p>“Dorian, I will get Lana and we will nug roast your ass if you keep this up,” I growled. “You are my friend and I love you dearly, but I am ready to hurt you.”</p><p>“But if you roast me, then you’re going to destroy your coat,” he chided, bopping me on the nose. “And then where would that leave us?”</p><p>“I hate you,” I muttered.</p><p>“Love you too, Sam.”</p><p>--</p><p>When we returned into Haven, it was a sight to behold. Since everyone had seen the result of the breach being sealed long before we returned, there was absolute revelry in the streets of Haven- we could hear music and see fires as we approached, and I smiled when I saw Cullen greeting me at the gate. When he saw me on the horse with Dorian, his eyes narrowed with concern.  “What happened,” he asked softly, then gave a curious look at the mage behind me. “And why is he in your coat?”</p><p>“Just exuded quite a bit of her mana closing the breach,” Dorian said as he helped me down and into Cullen’s outstretched arms. “And as for the coat, I am freezing my ass off in your country. Our darling Sam was kind enough to save me from turning into a gorgeous popsicle out there by lending me her garment. In return, I rode back with her to make sure she wouldn’t fall over and die getting back to her husband- you’re welcome.”</p><p>Cullen smiled and shook his head, wrapping me in his arms and rubbing my shoulders. “Thank you, Dorian. I appreciate your help- I am sure there’s a drink in the bar with your name on it.”</p><p>He gave Cullen a polite nod of his head. “It appears that your husband isn’t all that bad after all,” he said as he patted him on the shoulder. “I shall think of you fondly as I finally get a beverage and warm myself by the fire.” Cullen cleared his throat, holding out his hand- Dorian huffed and made a dramatic show of unzipping the coat and handing it to him, shivering in the night air as we swapped garments. “I still think I wore it better,” he said as he ruffled my hair. “See you around, Sam.”</p><p>“Bye,” I replied as I got back into my coat, which now smelled of Dorian. “At least he smells good- musty man in a down coat is good for no one, trust me.”</p><p>“I do admit, I find it unsettling that when I kiss you, I’m going to smell the Altus,” Cullen teased, leaning down and kissing me on the lips. “But it is good to see you,” he whispered. “I was worried when you didn’t contact me afterward.” </p><p>“Been a bit rough,” I admitted. “That was honestly one of the worst things I’ve ever felt in my life- it felt like I was being electrocuted every time the mark flared up.” I swallowed, then buried my face into his chest. “I was terrified I was going to be the one to let everyone down if I couldn’t hold it together.”</p><p> He started to say something, but Lana and Cassandra walked up, looking a bit nervous. “What is it?” Cullen asked. “Is the breach closed for good?”</p><p>Cassandra nodded. “Solas confirmed that the heavens are scarred, but calm. The breach is sealed.”</p><p>Lana let out a deep sigh. “So that means that whatever happens afterward is now about to occur, correct?” She turned to me, her face set in a deep line. “Sam, how close are we to the darkness?” </p><p>I frowned, thinking about it for a moment. “That’s an interesting way to measure things, Lana- I hadn’t thought about it that way.” I closed my eyes, searching for the darkness but not pushing past it, just trying to see where the blackness began. “Not that long,” I murmured. “I’d say a couple of hours, tops."</p><p>“I think we need to get into the chantry,”  Lana said morosely. “Sam, you don’t look so well, but we need to put in an appearance as to not panic everyone.”</p><p>“I take it telling everyone to fuck off isn’t a valid option?” I asked. Lana frowned at me and I grinned. “Guess not.”</p><p>“Are we telling the rest of the companions?” Cassandra asked as we began to walk. “Unfortunately, Varric knows, and I suspect Bull has an idea that something is amiss- telling them may not be the worst thing.”</p><p>Lana bit her lip, then waved and greeted villagers as we all walked in. “Tell Bull and Varric to head to the gates and keep watch for anything strange.” She turned to Cassandra. “I assume your bags are already in the Chantry?”</p><p>Cassandra nodded. “Along with some others that Leliana has procured.” She frowned. “It's the strangest thing- Leliana tried to open the bags your mother sent, but no matter what we do, they will not open.”</p><p>I groaned. “That’s because it isn’t time for them to open, which means it’s something we’re going to need.”  I looked at them as we made our way into town, trying to avoid the people trying to shake my hand and congratulate us. “I’m scared, guys.” </p><p>Cullen gave Lana a look then let out a deep sigh, causing my heart to sink. “I should join Bull and Varric, love- if something is happening, you need a way to know about it.” I started to protest, but he kissed me and looked at me sadly. “I’m the Commander, Sam. I have to be out here to do my duty- I’m the only one other than Lana that can call out to you and tell you what’s going on.” </p><p>“But you’re my husband, too,” I protested. “I want you safe, Cullen.”</p><p>“Now who’s the one complaining about someone’s duty,” he teased. I frowned, and he cupped my face gently, giving me a sad smile. “Go- inform everyone of what happened today- do your part and I’ll do mine.” I started to say something, but he placed a finger on my lips. “I will find you, Sam- that is a promise.” </p><p>“You better,” I murmured, giving him a hug for what I hoped wouldn’t be the last time.</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>Cullen stood at the gates with Bull and Varric, gripping his sword nervously as he stared off into the distance. <em>The worst part,</em> he thought, <em>was knowing that something was coming but not what it was or where it was coming from.</em> He sighed, rubbing his temples- it was going to be a long night, he could tell.</p><p>“Commander,” Bull said, looking over at him. “Care to share what’s got you so bent out of shape?”</p><p>Cullen looked over at the Charger captain, then sighed. “Honestly? I wish I knew.” He turned out to the darkness. “All I know is that I am waiting for something that I am supposed to save everyone from, but I have no idea what it might be.”</p><p>Varric let out a whistle. “Shit, Curly- that’s vague.” He looked over casually. “Does this have anything to do with Sparrow?”</p><p>He nodded. “Sam can’t see anything,” he admitted.</p><p>Varric let out a low whistle, but Bull looked confused. “Is that a bad thing?”</p><p>The dwarf nodded. “The last time she couldn’t see anything was at the temple of Sacred Ashes. Right before that was when Blondie blew up the Chantry in Kirkwall.”</p><p>Cullen nodded. “And before that was when Lana got recruited into the Grey Wardens.” He sighed, watching the scouts travel to and fro. “And now, today.”</p><p>“Is that why the boss and the kid are speaking to folks in the Chantry?” Bull asked. “Smart move getting people out of the way, though.”  </p><p>“I suppose,” Cullen said wearily. “But is it enough?” </p><p>“There’s nothing else you can do, Curly,” Varric said. “You gotta work with what you have. And besides,” he added, “If you didn’t have this information, what would you be doing?” </p><p>“I have no idea,” Cullen admitted. “All I know is that I am here waiting for something to happen.” </p><p>Suddenly, a scout came running up to him, panting and out of breath. “Commander! We’ve gotten reports of a massive force in the west marching over the mountains toward Haven!”</p><p>Cullen tensed, then stared at the scout. “Under what banner?”</p><p>“That’s just it,” the scout said quickly, looking rather nervous. “None,” he admitted.</p><p>Cullen looked at Bull, who nodded. “I’ll sound the alarm,” Bull replied.  “<em>Fuck</em>, we can’t even have one damn day where things go right around here, can we?”</p><p>“Afraid not, Tiny. Looks like the Amell curse strikes again.” Varric shook his head and let out a sigh as the Quinari sounded the alarm. “And here I was looking to get out of here."</p><p>Varric started to say something else, but then they heard a frantic banging on the gate, followed by the voice of an extremely agitated young man. “I can’t come in unless you open it!” </p><p><em>Sam,</em> Cullen called out as the gates opened. <em>Get here, now!</em></p><p><em>We’re all on our way,</em> she said quickly. <em>We heard the bells- is something happening? </em></p><p>Cullen’s eyes widened at the young man at the gate who had just finished stabbing what looked to be a Templar. <em>Yes,</em> he said, swallowing and trying to keep his wits about him.<em> I need you here, now! </em></p><p>“What is it?” Sam asked breathlessly as she appeared at his side. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>The pale young man in the floppy hat looked up at her, his big blue eyes fixated on Sam as he put his daggers away. “The sparrow, flying on invisible wings, listening, watching, waiting. No matter the voice, she hears and understands.” Sam stared at him for a moment, then he took a deep breath. “My name is Cole and I’m here to warn you.”</p><p>“What about, Cole?” Sam looked around as Lana ran up, out of breath and sweaty. “What’s going on?”</p><p>“You already know,” he said, looking at Sam. “You’ve seen but haven’t seen- Purpose and protection mixed together, but you’re all wrong- not of this world, yet too attached to leave.” Then the boy looked around and saw Lana, taking a deep breath. “The red templars are here to kill you,” he said anxiously. “They went to the Elder One.”</p><p>“There’s that Elder One again,” Sam said quietly, staring out over the mountain. “We heard that name from Alexius.”</p><p>“You know him?” Cole said, turning to Sam, then Lana again. “He knows you- you took his mages.” Torches began to pop into view over the horizon- the boy’s voice became grim as he turned to the two women. “He’s coming this way with his general… and he’s very angry."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>...and we now have a Haven battle- it only took 17 chapters LOL</p><p>(It's still shorter than the Hinterlands, tho)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Did we learn nothing from the last time?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Team Mage finds out what the darkness in Sam's vision means</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>I felt my heart sink in my throat when I used the spyglass to look over the ridge- seeing the guy with red lyrium jutting from his body at every possible and impossible angle coming over the ridge was enough to make me want to nope the entire fuck out and hide under my covers and wait for Dad to come and find me with a nice bowl of pasta. But despite the impending arrival of the monster who looked like a gigantic darkspawn boned a bird, I gritted my teeth and prepared to fight- no matter what, Haven was my home now, and there was nowhere to hide- scared or not, I was going to fight with my family. </p><p>“Samson,” Cullen hissed from my right after taking the looking glass from me. “I can’t believe it! We were in Kirkwall together- he was a templar, for goodness sake!”</p><p>“I hate to break it to you, Curly,” Varric said in a low voice, “but I think those are Templars with him.”</p><p>Cole nodded sadly. “You took his mages, so he went to the templars instead.” The sad-looking boy turned to Lana. “He wants you, Herald.”</p><p>“He can eat a dick,” I spat, turning to Cullen. “What do we need to do?” </p><p>Cullen’s face was grim, then he turned to the mages who had assembled behind us. “Mages! You have full sanction to engage! Show them we will not go quietly!” Then he turned to me. “Sam, we’re going to hold them off out here- can you check and see if there are others that didn’t make it into the chantry?”</p><p>I nodded as I checked the threads, feeling my heart sink lower and lower with every person I found. “There’s a bunch of people that didn’t make it out yet- I can get over to them, no problem, but I can’t pop them over with me.”</p><p>“I can help you,” Cole said. “Guide them to safety, change their fate. You are the voice, I am the blade when the red makes you weak.” </p><p>Lana frowned. “Sam, are you sure about this? Who needs help? We can help too.” </p><p>Closing my eyes, I searched for the panicked people. “Harritt, Lysette, Flissa, Seggrit, Threnn, Minaeve, and Adan are still out here.” Wide-eyed, I turned to Lana. “That’s a lot of people, Lana Banana.” </p><p>She pursed her lips and turned to Cole. “If she stops time, can you get her to Threnn? She’s closest to the Chantry.” Cole nodded, and she took a deep breath. “Sam, when you get the quartermaster, I need you to go inside and grab Vivienne and Blackwall- tell them to get Harritt while you and Cole get to Flissa. Tell Sera and Dorian to go help Adan and Minaeve. Tell Solas to get Lysette.” She turned to Cullen, mouth set in a frown. “Can your soldiers and the mages work to hold the line while we do this?” </p><p>Cullen nodded, his face devoid of emotion. “We can. However, if you, Varric, Bull, and Cassandra can help with the trebuchets, we might be able to bury them under the snow- it could buy us some time.” </p><p>“Then that’s what she’ll do- Cole and I will come back for Seggrit, then we’ll help you.” Lana looked grim, but I cut her off. “I know it’s a lot, but we can do this. Get over there- you know I’ll always find you, Lana Banana.”</p><p>She started to argue, but the templars began to advance toward the town, their cries echoing in the night sky. “All right,” she relented. “Maker be with you, sister- we’re counting on you.”</p><p class="p1">
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</p><hr/><p>Lana thought they were winning. </p><p>Thanks to Sam’s early warning, they had rescued the stranded villagers and had everyone safe in the Chantry while they retook the trebuchets. Just as they aimed the last machine and breathed a sigh of relief, Lana stared in horror as a dragon soared over their heads and let out a terrifying screech, just before it began laying waste to Haven.</p><p>“Holy fuck!” Sam screamed as she suddenly appeared beside Lana. “That… looks like the archdemon!” Just as Lana was about to answer, the building that was formerly Harritt’s forge burst into flames, and the girl went ashen. “Oh my god,” she whispered. “If they hadn’t gotten him out-“</p><p>“Don’t think like that, Sparrow,” Varric chided as they all raced toward the Chantry. “We can’t afford it… not now.”</p><p>“I know,” she said, her eyes wide and her hair sweaty and plastered to her head as they ran. "But we- you killed it! How is that bastard back?” </p><p>“I don’t know,” Lana huffed, then yelped as the bar exploded, showering them with splinters of wood. “We’ll figure it out later.” Soon they approached the Chantry, where Chancellor Roderick was ushering people inside, clutching his side. “Just get inside- now!”</p><p>As soon as they burst through the doors, a panicked Cullen raced over. “Sam! Lana! Thank the Maker you two are okay!”  He grabbed Sam and wrapped her in his arms. “I was terrified when that dragon appeared- he stole back any time we’d gained.” </p><p>Bull scanned the Chantry, letting out a visible sigh of relief when he saw the Chargers helping settle the villagers inside. “This building ain’t gonna keep out a dragon, boss. What’s your plan?”</p><p>“We have to get these people out of here,” Lana said quickly. “But going back into the village proper is suicide.” She scanned the faces in the Chantry and frowned. “Mom wouldn’t have gotten us this far to leave us to die here… there has to be something we can do.”</p><p>Cole, who had been kneeling next to the Chancellor, finally looked up. “The Elder One doesn’t care about the village,”  he intoned. "He only wants the Herald.” </p><p>“Fuck that,” Sam hissed. “I’m not having another douchecanoe take my sister. I got a better idea- how do we take that bastard out?”</p><p>Lana sighed- she wasn’t keen on being offered up to save others yet again, but she wasn’t willing to let innocent people die in her name either. "What do we need to do to stop him?” Lana asked, looking at the faces of her companions. “We did not seal the breach only to doom these villagers to their death.”</p><p>Then his pale blue eyes fixed on Roderick. “He knows the way, just as the Herald and Nightengale do. Not long for this world, but can save others before he leaves.” </p><p>Roderick nodded, then coughed as he tried to speak. “The boy is right,” he wheezed. “The summer passage… the pilgrimage…”</p><p>Lana’s eyes went wide as she turned to Leliana- instantly, she knew what her mother’s warning to Leli meant. “The secret passage we found…” She turned to Cullen, whose eyes were just as wide, remembering their adventure all those years ago. “You two… lead the villagers out- you know the way.” She closed her eyes, knowing that the Commander was going to protest her next statement. “Sam and I will buy you all some time.” </p><p>Before he could bark out a reply, Sam placed a hand on his arm. “This is what Mom meant, Cullen,” she said softly. “I have to go with Lana, love.” He swallowed and started to protest, but she gave him a sad smile, placing her finger on his lips. “You know we’re stronger together, and she needs me. You have to let me go.” </p><p>“I cannot lose you,” he whispered, placing his forehead against hers. “Not again.”</p><p>“You have your duty,” Sam replied as she kissed him. “And I have mine.”</p><p>“We will use the trebuchet and bury the town when we know you’re clear." Lana looked away, knowing that her sister was right but not wanting to see the eyes of the man she loved as she took what he loved most away from him.  “Cullen, signal us and let us know you’re clear- Team Mage will handle this… right, Sam?”</p><p>Her sister looked worried, but she nodded anyway. “Always, Lana Banana. We got this.”</p><p><em>Sam,</em> Lana thought,<em> I need you to get to the trebuchet and aim it for the mountain- we’re going to bury his army as soon as Cullen gives you the signal.</em></p><p><em>First of all, fuck that,</em> Sam replied.<em> We stick together- remember? Rule number one- in the horror movies, the moment the heroes split up is when all the bad stuff happens.</em> She shook her head vehemently.<em> Not gonna happen here.</em></p><p><em>Fine</em>, Lana replied as she grabbed Sam's hand, giving it a tight squeeze. <em>We don’t go down without a fight, agreed? No giving up?</em></p><p><em>Not even a little bit,</em> Sam agreed. <em>We do this together. She squared her shoulders and gave Lana a tight-lipped smile as she headed toward the door. Let’s go show this Elder One he picked the wrong sisters to fuck with.</em></p><p class="p1">
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</p><hr/><p>Stopping time, Lana and I ran toward the trebuchet. With all the red lyrium around, I was having a hard time freezing things, but drawing from her mark made it easier than it was in Kirkwall. That being said, my ring was black by the time we reached our destination, and I was almost dead on my feet. Frantically, we worked to aim the machine- but just as we were getting it into position, a shriek tore through the air that sent chills down my spine.</p><p>“Move!” Lana screamed, pushing me out the way as the dragon circled back around, breathing red lyrium tinged fire at us and igniting an explosion that blew us off our feet. </p><p>Stunned, I lay on the ground, too far from Lana to get to her as the flames surrounded us. Just as I started to move, I felt her in my head. <em>Disappear!</em> Lana thought frantically. <em>If you can do it, disappear!</em></p><p><em>No!</em> I cried. <em>I’m not leaving you- we’re stronger together, remember!</em> I raced over to her side as she lay on the ground, holding her head. “Are you all right?”</p><p>“I’m fine, but I’d be better if I knew you were safe,” she replied. “There’s no sense-"</p><p>She didn’t get to finish- to our horror, the skeletal bird-shaped man was approaching us, with the dragon stationed menacingly at his side as he slowly crept closer and closer. Try as I might, I couldn’t keep him from moving- the lyrium in the air was just too strong, and I was just too weak. He looked like he was moving through sand, but it was, as Mom said, like a horror movie- no matter how far we got, the bad guy just kept coming.</p><p>“Pretender,”  he boomed, his face full of hatred as he looked at us. “You toy with forces beyond your ken. No more.” </p><p>“What do you want from me!” Lana screamed. “Why are you doing this?”</p><p>“And while we’re at it, what the fuck even are you!” I yelled. “Why did you murder the divine!"</p><p>“Mortals beg for truth they cannot have. It is beyond what you are, what I was.” The skeletal man sneered at Lana. “Know me, know what you have pretended to be." </p><p>I turned to Lana. “So, it looks like bad guys love to monologue in this world too, huh?” Then I turned to him, my face tight with anger. “You still haven’t told us who the hell you are, jackwad!”</p><p>He stared at me and I wanted to shiver, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. “Exalt the Elder One, wench! The will that is Corypheus! You will kneel!”</p><p>“We aren't kneeling for you!” I screamed. "I’ve met gods, asshole! If I don’t bow to them, then we damn sure ain’t bowing to you!"</p><p>“I don’t even know why you’re here!” Lana yelled. “ What do you want from me? You haven’t even asked for anything!"</p><p>Corypheus slowly approached Lana and me, moving close enough for us to see the shards of lyrium jutting out of his face and his chest. “I ask for nothing because it is not in your power to give.” His smile was menacing as he pulled out an orb, clutching it in his hand. “But that will not stop me- I am here for the anchor.” The orb in his hand began to pulsate with that same sick red light, causing me to wince. “The process of removing it begins now."</p><p>Before I could do anything, he had sent out a pulse of magic, sparking the mark on Lana's wrist. Instinctively, I grabbed her arm, letting out a scream as the magic flowed through me. “What are you doing to me?” Lana cried.</p><p>“This is your fault, ‘Herald’. You interrupted a ritual years in the planning, and instead of dying, you stole its purpose.” I absorbed the excess magic, causing the creature to jerk back and stare at us. “I do not know how you survived,” he growled,  “but what marks you as ’touched’, what you flail at rifts, I crafted to assault the very heavens!”</p><p>“You tore the fucking sky, you dipshit!” I screamed. “How does that benefit anyone!”</p><p>“And you used the anchor to undo my work!” Corypheus screamed. “The gall of you!”</p><p>“I think you might be mistaken,” Lana said, clutching her arm in pain and crumbling to the ground. “My mother sent me here- this is my purpose!"</p><p>The monster laughed. “Then your mother wished me to kill you, for her ‘boon’ is a beacon I cannot let escape. You know nothing!” Corypheus yelled as he stormed over, grabbing Lana by the arm. “I once breached the Fade in the name of another, to serve the Old Gods of the Empire in person,” he hissed. “I found only chaos and corruption. Dead whispers. For a thousand years I was confused,” he snarled, leaning into Lana’s face as she dangled from his arm. “No more,” he hissed.</p><p>“Let my sister go, asshole!” I screamed. “Put her down right now!”</p><p>“In due time,” he replied angrily. “I will claim what is mine! I have gathered the will to return under no name but my own, to champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world. How dare you two impertinent wenches decide to steal what is rightfully mine!”</p><p>“You will correct nothing,” Lana hissed. “This world is ours, and it is under protection greater than you could ever know!”</p><p>“Pretty words, though they are hollow, ‘Herald’,” he jeered. “Beg that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the gods, and it was empty!” </p><p>He threw Lana and I screamed, slowing time with the last of my energy. Instead of hitting the machine with a near-fatal impact, Lana landed softly, if awkwardly, against the trebuchet, and I ran over to my sister, watching as she slowly pulled herself to a seated position. “Lana,” I cried, kneeling at her side. "please be okay- I’m here! What do you need?"</p><p>“She needs to die,” the monster growled. “The anchor is permanent. She has spoiled it with her stumbling."</p><p>“I have spoiled nothing!” Lana yelled. “I save the world you wish to destroy! Your efforts are for naught, demon, for I will fight you at every turn!”</p><p>“You have a temper but no might,” Corypheus retorted. “But it is of no consequence. I will begin again, find another way to give this world the nation and god it requires!"</p><p><em>Sam,</em> Cullen said in my head, we are clear. <em>The flares are going- get out, now!</em></p><p>I looked at Lana, then gritted my teeth as the sparks rose high in the air. <em>They’re safe, so we need to do something about this asshole, now!</em></p><p>“But as for you two,” the monster snarled, prepping his magic and sending the awful stench of red lyrium into the air, “I will not suffer even an unknowing rival. And as for you,” Corypheus jeered at me and I scrambled for my sister’s hand, eager to get away from the skeletal creature, “Since you are so keen to speak for her, you can share her fate. You both must die!"</p><p>“Fuck you and the dragon you rode in on,” I spat angrily as Lana inched over to the machine. “Team mage has taken on worse things than you, you bird-looking bitch!”</p><p>Corypheus let out an inhuman roar, but just then Lana grabbed my hand and sent a surge of energy to the crank of the trebuchet, launching a boulder that engulfed the last of the templars and the town in a flood of snow. </p><p>“Sam!” Lana cried, yanking my hand as the dragon screeched behind us. “Run!”</p><p>Not looking back, we took off, racing through the town and trying to beat the avalanche of snow pressing down upon us. In a last-ditch effort to not be buried alive, Lana yanked my hand and leaped into a pit, screaming as she sent us both crashing into the snow-covered caverns beneath the town.</p><p class="p1">
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</p><hr/><p>When she opened her eyes, Lana didn’t know how much time had passed. </p><p>Slowly, she looked around, wincing as she slowly got to her feet and shivering as the snow seeped into her clothes. Memories were coming to her in bits and pieces- sealing the breach, the destruction of Haven, her battle with the Elder One, Sam...</p><p><em>Sam!</em> Her eyes flew open wide as she frantically got to her feet, searching for her sister. After a few heart-stopping moments, she located Sam next to a nearby snowdrift, slightly dazed. “Sam?” Lana whispered. "Are you ok?”</p><p>“Urp,” was Sam's only reply as she hunched over. Her clothes were in tatters, causing Lana to wonder what she must look like as well. Finally, after Lana pushed a little healing magic into the girl, Sam began to focus, her eyes wide as she looked around the cavern. “What just happened?”</p><p>“We… destroyed Haven,” Lana admitted. “Once you gave me the signal, we stopped the Templar army by burying the town under the snow.” She looked around, trying to get her bearings and figure out where they were. “We seem to be in the underground caverns… but for the life of me, I can’t discern which way to go.” Suddenly, she got an idea and looked at her sister, who was starting to shiver. “Can you find your husband?” </p><p>Sam shook her head, swaying on her feet, nearly crashing to the ground. Quickly, Lana gathered Sam in her arms, sending a little more healing energy into the girl. “No magic,” Sam replied as she let out a huge yawn. "Too cold… too tired, Lana Banana- I want to sleep.”</p><p>Lana began to feel the first twinges of panic, reaching in her sister’s pocket and praying that the snacks their mother sent them had survived their fall. To her great relief, the bag was still intact, although the contents inside were reduced to crumbs. “Eat, Sam,” Lana said as she handed her the bag. “You need energy.”</p><p>“So do you,” Sam mumbled, swatting away the bag. “You’re more important.”</p><p>“Considering you’re the only one who can get us out of here, I’d say I’m not,” Lana chided gently as she thrust the bag at Sam. “Now eat, please!”</p><p>Grimacing, Sam complied, shaking the contents into her mouth, but saving some for Lana. “If we run into anything out here, I need you to help me, so eat.” Sam paused for a moment, then ran her hands over Lana’s coat, causing her to instantly feel warmer. “Had to repair our clothes- You had a big gash in yours, so I assume I was just as bad.”</p><p>Lana nodded. “That would be a fair assumption, yes.” She scanned the cavern, unsure of which way they should go and shivered as a cold wind passed over them. “Can you find anyone?”</p><p>“I can try, but I’m pretty washed out,” Sam said as she closed her eyes. Lana watched expectantly, hoping her sister would be able to guide them out of this cave- she had no desire to spend her final moments freezing beneath the town. Suddenly, Sam’s eyes popped open and she smiled. “Follow me- I know which way to go.” </p><p class="p1">
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</p><hr/><p>Cullen felt himself shivering, but it wasn’t from the cold- his stomach felt like it was twisting in knots and his head was pounding, but he had no choice but to press on. They’d all heard the noises, and seen the snow cascade over the town like a waterfall. He kept catching whispers of ‘what happened to the Herald and the Savior’ or ‘will they appear to us to lead the way’ or something else that equally set his nerves on edge. To them, they were symbols- to him, this was his wife and his sister-in-law, and Cullen was finding it extremely difficult to give a damn about anything else. </p><p>“Have you heard from them?” Leliana whispered as she approached on his right. “Do you have any news?”</p><p>He shook his head. “Nothing. I’ve tried to reach out, but there has been nothing. I’m-“ he cut himself off, unwilling to even give voice to the doubts rolling through his head. “I’ve heard nothing,” he finished flatly. </p><p>Leliana placed a hand on his shoulder as a small frown crossed her reddened face. “They will prevail,” she said firmly. “We did not come this far to lose them now, my friend. Find comfort in the maker and his will, and we shall pull through.”</p><p>He sighed, watching his breath appear in front of him in clouds of frozen vapor. “I certainly hope so, Leli.” Cullen shook his head, staring ahead at the mass of people walking in front of them. “I can’t imagine my life otherwise."</p><p>
  <em>Cullen.</em>
</p><p>He almost tripped over his feet at the sound of her voice in his head and grabbed onto Leliana’s arm to steady himself.<em> Are you and Lana all right, love?</em></p><p>Leliana looked at him quizzically, then her eyes widened when she realized what was happening. “Is that them?” </p><p>Cullen nodded and Sam spoke in his head again. Instead of answering his question, Sam paused, making him nervous- it wasn’t like her to not tell him what was going on. <em>We’re… coming to find you,</em> she replied. <em>We fought the Elder One and escaped the avalanche.</em></p><p><em>Are you all right?</em> Cullen repeated, hoping this time she wouldn’t evade his question. <em>Can you see us- do you know where we are? </em></p><p><em>I can find you, but I'm almost out of energy and there are demons nearby,</em> Sam whispered in his head. <em>I have to save my strength to help her, Cullen. </em></p><p>For the first time since he’d been out in the cold, the Commander felt his face grow hot- he knew his wife, and the way she was acting was not normal. It was obvious something was wrong, but she wasn’t telling him what it was, which was never good.<em> No!</em> Cullen replied, hoping to get her to tell him what was going on. <em>Stay with me- tell me where you are!</em></p><p><em>I’ll find you,</em> she said, ignoring him. <em>No matter what, I’ll find- </em></p><p>Sam never finished her thought- to Cullen's utter terror, the connection suddenly went dead, leaving him alone in stunned and horrified silence. </p><p>With nothing but the sounds of winds from the mountains in his ears, he turned to Leli, his previously flushed face now ashen. “She’s gone,” he croaked as he looked at the redhead, who was eying him with concern. “Leli,” he said nervously, "Sam and Lana are in trouble… and I can’t reach them anymore."</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. The Sparrow will show you the way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lana and Sam try to find their way after the destruction of Haven</p>
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<hr/><p>Over and over, Cullen tried to call out to Sam, but it was of no use- the communication charm was silent, which meant she was passed out… or worse. <em>Ok</em>, he thought. <em>They made it out of Haven… they were in the tunnels. If I backtrack, I should be able to find them. I just have to go back…</em></p><p>Barely hearing Leliana’s protests, Cullen started to turn around toward the ruined town when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Irritated at the intrusion, he scowled. “Leli, I have to go- they need me!”</p><p>“Cold and tired, they rest in the snow. Lights are fading, but Purpose keeps them warm while the other comes to help.” </p><p>Startled by the unexpected voice, Cullen whirled around to find the strange boy standing next to him. “They’re alive?”</p><p>He nodded. “The one you need isn’t far.” Suddenly, he cocked his head, staring at the Commander intently. “She whispers and watches, just outside the edge of time. Though your heart yearns and wants to fly, she wants you to wait.”</p><p>Cullen stared at Cole, trying to make sense of his strange words. “Is Sam saying this to you?”</p><p>“No,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s the one who lives in between, the one who started it all.” He smiled at Cullen, then pointed to the ridge, where two specks were running towards them. “See? She sent him so you could find her hearts. <em>Your</em> hearts,” he added. “I’ll go with you," Cole said firmly. "It’s louder when they’re nearby.”</p><p>The Commander blinked, unsure as to what he should do with the information. “I don’t understand, Cole- why are we waiting? If you know how to find them, then you need to take me to them!” </p><p>“You both need to come,” he replied. Then his eyes got a faraway look as he turned to Cullen. “Racing, scared, and unsure, there are no jokes to be found. He needs to know what the sparrow has done now, needs to make sure she hasn't slipped away before he finds her again." </p><p>“Sparrow?” Cullen repeated, staring at the two figures coming into view. Then he heard a familiar bark and his eyes widened in understanding. “Alistair!” He took off running toward the Grey Warden, unable to believe his eyes. As he ran, Cullen tripped in the snow a few times, but he didn’t care- all that mattered was Sam and Lana. “Alistair! We have to find them!”</p><p>Coming to a stop and shaking the powdery snow from his reddish-brown hair, Alistair paused to catch his breath. “I know! I was on my way to Haven when I saw the avalanche,” he wheezed with his head between his knees- Dog licked his face with concern. “My heart damn near stopped when I saw the town go under.”</p><p>Cullen pulled his friend to his feet as he looked at the boy, trying to keep calm. “Okay Cole, he’s here- what do we do? Where are they?”</p><p>He looked back and forth between the two men, then nodded seriously. “You both have a piece of her soul- it makes her louder,” he remarked as he started to run toward the ruined town. “We must go- she's calling, but we must be there to answer."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>When I looked around, I was sitting next to Lana in a Starbucks. </p><p>Confused, I turned to look at her, noting that she looked just as shocked as I did. “Lana,” I whispered, watching as the people walked past us with their drinks, “are you seeing this?”</p><p>She nodded, her mouth agape. “For a moment, I was afraid it was just me seeing this,” she whispered, her head swiveling to watch the patrons moving through the crowded cafe. “Oh no,” she said quietly, “I think we’re dead, Sam- this is what it was like for me last time.”</p><p>“Not yet, but it’s not for lack of trying,” a familiar voice said as he pulled a chair out and sat next to me. “Missed you, Pipsqueak.”</p><p>“DAD!” I screamed, throwing my arms around him and causing the nearby cashier to chuckle. “Wait- how are we here? How are you here?”</p><p>“That would be my doing,” another voice said as Nia sat in front of Lana, taking off her coat and resting it on the chair behind her. “Hey girls… figured this would be as good a time as any to have a mini family reunion.” She handed us each a cup of coffee, smirking as Lana and I looked at each other with confusion. “Drink up- your bodies are freezing to death out there.”</p><p>“So it is true,” Lana said as she sipped her coffee and glanced around the store. “We are dying.” Then she turned to Dad, looking sheepish as she stared at him. “I apologize- I haven’t had the pleasure of making your acquaintance, sir.” </p><p>“Meh, you can quit it with the sir,” Dad said with a shrug. "Dean or Dad is fine.” He stood up, walking over to Lana. “Gimme a hug, kiddo- you’re one of ours now.” He reached out his arms and Lana shot into them, bursting into tears as she hugged him. “Hey,” Dad said softly, rubbing her hair and patting her back. “We gotcha- I’m always gonna look out for my girls, ok?”</p><p>She nodded furiously, head still buried in his chest. “I’ve never had a father before,” she whispered. “It’s been so long since I’ve had a family…”</p><p>“Well, get used to it,” Dad said as he pulled back, chucking her lightly on the chin, “cause now you got a big one, Lana.” He cleared his throat, then looked at Mom as he pulled his seat between me and Lana, draping his arms around us. Lana leaned on his shoulder and I hugged him around his waist, inhaling the scent of leather, oak, engine oil, and gunpowder that always seemed to follow him around. “How long do we have, Nia?” Dad asked as he patted our shoulders. “Can they stay a little while?”</p><p>Sadly, Mom shook her head. “They don’t have long, I’m afraid. We’re only here till the store closes or their ride comes, whichever comes first.” She sighed as she stared off into the distance, then turned back to us. “I sent the message- that’s all I can do.”</p><p>“So we either get rescued or we die,” I said grimly as I clutched my dad tight, not wanting to let him go. “Is this a hallucination, then?”</p><p>“You know better than that,” Mom chided. “Hallucinations are a waste of time- I’d rather spend these moments productively, so I just borrowed you from your bodies for a while to keep you alive a little longer.”</p><p>“Well that makes no sense at all,” I responded, staring at Lana to see if she understood anything Mom had just said- she just shook her head and sipped her coffee. Realizing there was no point in debating it any further, I sighed and picked up the steaming beverage. As the liquid hit my lips, I remembered when John had almost died, and my eyes widened. “We’re in the Between,” I whispered. “It’s like when I saved John, but on steroids.” Then I looked at Dad and frowned. “But how is Dad here, Mom?”</p><p>“Seeing you two was worth being laid up in bed for a while, Sam,” he replied with a smile and that casual shrug of his. “She gave me the option to come, so I took it.”</p><p>My face fell- it wasn't safe for him to be here and he knew it, but he came to so he could see us. “Dad-“</p><p>He cut me off. “Don’t start, Pipsqueak,” he said, his hazel eyes focused on me. “It’s nothing - seeing as this was the closest I could get to visiting you guys, having your mother serve me my meals in bed for the next few days didn't seem like the worst idea.” Then he turned to Lana and smiled. “Looks like you two are doing something right out there- when you make a god angry enough to murder you, you’re on the right track.”</p><p>“Not a god,” I said as I slurped my coffee, feeling the warmth of the chocolate-flavored beverage creep through my body. “Though he wants to be, which might just be worse.”</p><p>“Sounds accurate,” Mom said wearily. “Other than dying of hypothermia, are you two all right?” She peered at the two of us intently, looking us over and checking for bumps and bruises. "Nothing’s broken or anything, right?”</p><p>I blinked, trying to make sense of what I’d just heard. “Mom, you are not allowed to be that causal about our impending deaths- it’s extremely unnerving, you know.”</p><p>She laughed, sipping her tea. “I suppose you’re right, Sam- my apologies.” Then she smiled as she pushed up the sleeves on her fuzzy green sweater and leaned on the table, staring at Lana. “You might want to fight a little harder, Lana- he’s coming for you, kid.” </p><p>“Who?” Lana asked, finishing the last of her coffee and sitting the empty cup down on the table. “Who’s coming?”</p><p>“Alistair.”</p><p>Lana let out a gasp and tried to stand up, causing Dad to tighten his grip around her. “Settle down, kiddo,” he whispered. “Save your energy.”</p><p>Pausing for a moment, she nodded and swallowed, turning to look at Mom. “Do you mean it? If we live through this, I’ll see him again?”</p><p>Mom made a noncommittal gesture as she took a sip of her tea. “Depends on what you both choose,” she replied. “One path says yes. The other…” Her voice trailed off, staring at the clock in the back of the room, which read 5:50. Uneasily, I stared at the sign on the counter, which boldly proclaimed that the store would be closing at six for a special event, and Mom sighed. “I just hope that Cole gave Cullen my message in time.”</p><p>“You <em>hope</em>?” I squawked. “What about us, Mom? We’re a little more invested in that than you, don’t you think?”</p><p>“Possibly,” she replied. “At any rate, I think you should call him, Lana.” Mom gestured to a cell phone that appeared in front of her, then patted Lana's hand. “Despite what you two may think, I am very invested in your success out here.” Reaching out for our hands, Mom gave us a sad smile. “Even if I can’t help you directly, know that I’ll do whatever I can for my girls.”  </p><p>“Family comes first,” Dad said softly as he placed kisses on our foreheads. “You two stick together and keep each other safe, you hear me?” He turned to me, a warning look on his face. “Sam, remind that husband of yours that you’re still my baby girl, and I <em>will</em> find a way to kick his ass if anything happens to you.” </p><p>“I will,” I replied, hugging him tightly. “Love you, Dad.” </p><p>“Love you too, Pipsqueak. You too, Lana Banana- you stay safe, you hear me?” Dad kissed her head again, and I noticed Lana's eyes were bright with tears- if Dad saw, he chose not to comment on it. “Oh, and tell that boy of yours to not be stupid like Sam's moron of a husband, ok? You guys have that gigantic fucking bird- if he gets any ideas, tell him to write me first, please?"</p><p>“Understood,” she said, wiping her eyes. “You don’t know what this means to me,” Lana whispered, hugging him again. “Thank you."</p><p>“Yeah, well you can tell us all about it when we get the two of you back home,” he replied cheerfully. “In the meantime…” Dad inclined his head toward the phone. “You should probably call your ride, Lana- time’s running out.”</p><p>She nodded, then picked up the phone, selecting the name ‘Ali” from the contacts. From my place at Dad’s side, I could see the lights in the store slowly winking out, and I heard the scratchy sound of the dial tone- it sounded like the phone was ringing underwater. Every time it rang, Lana would wince- hoping to comfort her, I reached over and gently squeezed her hand, feeling like I was being pricked with tiny needles. “I gotcha, Lana Banana,” I whispered, ignoring the pain. “I’m right here."</p><p>“It’s time for us to go, Dean,” Mom said gently, kissing us on the forehead. “Store’s closing soon.” </p><p>He shook his head. “Just a few more minutes, Nia.” He looked at me and I gave my dad a sad smile, then buried my face in his side again. "Let me stay here a little longer… just until their ride picks up.”</p><p>“It’s not going to get any easier,” she said sadly, walking over to put a hand on his shoulder. Behind her, the store had begun to fade away- the only thing left to focus on was the table where we were sitting. “We have to let them go, honey.”</p><p>“I know, but…” his voice trailed off, and he smoothed a stray hair away from my face. “I don’t want to leave them, hon. They need us- can’t we-“ </p><p>She wrapped both her arms around his shoulders and kissed Dad on the head. “They’ll always need us,” she said quietly. “But we’ll always be there for them- you know that.”</p><p>Dad started to protest, but the line clicked and through the static, I could hear a voice- it was tinny, but I knew it as well as I knew my own name. "Lana!" Alistair yelled, his voice sounding as if we were hearing him through a sheet of glass. "Say something! We're here!"</p><p>“Ali and Cullen did it,” I whispered as I turned to Lana, grateful to see the same sense of relief I felt reflected on her face. “They found us.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Cullen could feel his heart threatening to burst out of his chest as he lay Sam down on the cot next to Lana, feeling extremely anxious as he watched Vivienne and Dorian work together to strip the women out of their wet clothes and heal them. Agitated, he ran his hands through his hair, feeling useless as his wife lay motionless next to her sister. <em>They have to pull through</em>, he thought. <em>We cannot have done so much to find them, only to lose them like this.</em></p><p>“Hey,” Alistair said, resting a hand on his shoulder. “They’re going to be fine.” He smiled, then stared at Lana, whose skin was still tinged with blue. “There’s not a chance she’s going to pass from this world without taking the opportunity to chew me out,” he joked. “And Sparrow always has to get the last word in, so I’d say we’re pretty good, Rutherford.”</p><p>Cullen looked up, grateful for his friend’s presence. “I suppose you’re right,” he said quietly, watching as Dorian ran a warming spell over the two women. “Though I wish the circumstances were better, I cannot deny that I’m happy to have you here with us, Alistair.” </p><p>Just then, Leliana came running up, holding the bags that Nia had left them with. “They opened! When you two returned with them, the bags opened up!” She thrust the parcels at Cullen. “Is there anything in here we can use to assist them?”</p><p>He looked at Alistair, who looked back at him for a split second before diving into the bag and yanking out a blanket. “Hey, you!” Alistair screamed at Dorian, tossing him the blanket, “wrap them up in this!” Dorian looked as if he was going to send a bolt of lightning at the warden for his impertinent tone, but he saw Cullen and changed his mind, choosing to just accept the blanket with a scowl.</p><p>Cullen dove into the other bag, breathing a sigh of relief as he found a similar blanket and gave it to Vivienne. “Is there anything else in there we can use,” he asked, watching as they cocooned the young women in the warm blankets. “She wouldn’t have sent us all of this if we couldn’t use it… right?”</p><p>Leliana frowned. “She may well have, but I think we’ll have to wait for Sam or Lana to wake, as these are all items from Sam’s world- I’m afraid I have no clue what some of these things are.” </p><p>Cullen turned to Alistair, thrusting the bags at him. “You’ve been to her world,” he said hoarsely. “Is there anything in here you recognize?”</p><p>Alistair groaned as he looked through the bag. “I wasn’t there long enough," he said helplessly. “We’re going to have to wait.” </p><p>“Well if you aren’t going to help,” Dorian snapped, “then kindly take your blathering outside! I’m trying to work here, so make yourselves useful and get that blasted elf! Tell him to get his ass in here and help me, damn it!” </p><p>Cullen nodded as he quickly ducked out the tent, grateful for the chance to do anything that would make him feel even remotely useful again.</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>As the sounds of bickering seeped into her consciousness, Lana opened her eyes and tried to figure out where she was. Struggling to focus her gaze in the harsh light, she reached over and almost screamed when she felt a hand… that was decidedly not Sam’s.</p><p>“Those bloody morons have been at it for hours,” he said sleepily, wrapping his arm around her. “Can’t they stop for a little while and let us heroes sleep in for once?”</p><p>Her eyes shot open wide. “Ali?” Lana croaked, turning her head slowly in case her mind was playing tricks on her. “Is that you?”</p><p>“Unless you’re in the habit of letting strapping Grey Wardens crawl into your bed, I’d hope I’m the only one you’d wake up to,” he chided, pulling her close to him. “You scared us, Lana- we thought we lost you.”</p><p>“I did lose you,” she said, bringing her hand to mouth as she turned to stare into the deep brown eyes she never thought she’d see again. “It’s real,” she whispered, touching his face and trying to hold back tears of relief and joy. “You’re here… you found me.”</p><p>"Always, Lana.” He smiled, making her heart feel like it could both melt and soar at the same time. “It’s just like I told you- I’d chase you across the universe if it meant I got to hold you in my arms again.” He leaned over and kissed her, wrapping her in his arms so tightly she thought she might break. “If this is the result of you practically freezing to death, I might be tempted to do it more often.”</p><p>Confused, Lana looked down and realized that the two of them weren’t wearing any clothes, making her snicker. “Care to explain how I got a handsome and naked Grey Warden in the bed with me?”</p><p>“Body heat,” he said casually. “They said we needed to warm you up- I volunteered. Terrible job,” he teased, grinning as she punched him lightly in the shoulder. “Something must be wrong with me,” he said as he kissed her on the nose, “because I even missed you beating me every time I said something you didn’t like.” </p><p>“I just missed you,” she said, kissing him back. “I can’t believe you’re here, Ali.” Then she frowned, pausing before she spoke again. “How did you find me?”</p><p>“Your mom sent me a message to go find Cullen, and when I did, the creepy boy with the big floppy hat said he could hear Sam,” he replied, rubbing his hands up and down her back. “He led us to the spot, and all of a sudden we could see this strange green light coming up from a snowdrift. Cullen said it was you, and I raced over and pulled you two out.” Alistair shook his head. “Thank the maker you sent that signal, love- a few minutes more, and we would have been too late.”</p><p>"Thank the maker indeed," Lana breathed, glancing over at him. "Once again, I'm in your debt, love."</p><p>He peered into her face and frowned. “Your eyes have changed,” he remarked. “I thought they looked different, but I couldn’t be sure it wasn’t Sparrow’s magic box playing tricks on me."</p><p>“Yeah, it appears Sam and I are full-fledged sisters now,” Lana replied with a smile. “Good thing, since Mom’s interference has seemed to save the town and our lives.” She looked over at him, then frowned. “Speaking of Sparrow, how is Sam?”</p><p>“Barely alive when we brought her in,” Alistair answered, hugging her tightly. “But she’s recovering in the Commander’s tent- it was quite interesting to see how many shades of purple Rutherford could turn when the elf suggested that the mustache man be the one to warm her up.” He looked at Lana, stroking her cheeks with his finger. “You know,” he said, his voice rich and deep, "looking back, I never thought Rutherford would’ve been the smart one- this is the one time I’m jealous of him.” </p><p>Looking at Alistair, Lana realized that although ten years had passed, he was still the same man she fell in love with all those years ago- she loved him just as much now as she did back then, and right then and there, she knew she always would. “Why is that, my love?” </p><p>“Because,” Alistair replied, placing a soft kiss on her lips that made her hyper-aware of the fact that she had no clothes on, “he got to be with the love of his life for the last ten years.” He pulled her next to him, and Lana rested her head on his chest, hearing the soothing thump-thump-thump of his heart beating beneath her ear. “I should have married you that day,” he whispered. “Mage or not, you should have been my wife, Lana.”</p><p>“Is there someone else?” Lana asked, dreading the answer as she reached up to run her fingers through his hair. “It has been ten years, after all.” </p><p>“I don’t care if it’s been a hundred years,” Alistair replied, smoothing her hair back and kissing her forehead. “There has never been anyone but you, Lana- I’ve been yours this whole time.” </p><p>“That’s good” she whispered, kissing him softly and nestling her head in the crook of his arm, “because I’ve been yours since the day I first met you, Ali... and I don't ever want to stop.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“Savior,” the voice next to me said gently, “I’m so glad to see that you’re awake!” </p><p> I winced as I gingerly sat up, trying to figure out who was talking to me without turning my throbbing head. “Yes,” I agreed. “I’m glad to be awake too.”</p><p>“Good,” the voice chuckled, and I realized it was Mother Giselle. “Maybe now you and your sister may be able to help us decide what to do next,” she replied. “It seems that your advisors are at odds as to our best course of action.” </p><p>“They’re grown people,” I grumbled as I rolled over, hoping to go back to sleep. “They can figure shit out without us for a little while.” </p><p>“They’re scared,” Mother Giselle replied gently, ignoring my language as she placed a hand on my shoulder. “And the people are scared- they’re lost, looking for a symbol or a sign to guide them.” </p><p>“But why does it have to be us?” I asked. “You could be a symbol. Hell, Cullen is the Commander, and Cassandra is a Seeker- either of them would do just fine.” I scoffed. “Granted, Lana's a damn good choice, but there are other people that can do this, you know.”</p><p>She laughed, shaking her head. “But we are not Andraste’s chosen,” Mother Giselle replied. “You and your sister have done what many could not- you’ve brought hope to the hopeless. You’ve sealed the very sky, and saved their lives time and time again.” Patting my hand, the mother smiled. “You two were presumed dead- they thought you’d given your lives so that they may live, but yet again you’ve escaped death. Your very existence is a living reminder that no matter the darkness, eventually the dawn will come.”</p><p>The voices outside the tent began to rise to a feverish pitch, and I grimaced. “I wish someone would remind them of that,” I said sadly. “Usually the fighting only gets this bad after I open my mouth, not before.”</p><p>Mother Giselle looked thoughtful. “Though I know you meant it in jest, I think that once again, you may have offered a way to save us,” she replied as she walked out the tent. “Thank you, Savior.”</p><p>I frowned, getting slowly to my feet and scanning the tent for my coat. Just as I was stiffly reaching for the puffy red monstrosity, I heard singing come from outside the tent. Curious, I put on my coat and shuffled outside, only to be surprised by the sight of Mother Giselle leading everyone in song. Leliana was the first to join her, followed by my husband. Surprised, I gave him a small wave and he smiled, crossing over to hold me in his arms as he sang. As the voices began to rise throughout the camp, I looked over and saw Lana, wrapped in a blanket with Alistair and I smiled. <em>Lana</em>, I thought as I caught her eye, <em>I’m glad you’re ok. </em></p><p>She whispered something to Alistair and he nodded as they began walking over to us. Feeling nothing but overwhelming gratitude for the man who was like my brother, I threw my arms around him, trying my best not to burst into tears. As I held the other man I owed my life to, the camp continued to spring to life in song- soon, almost everyone was singing, and Lana walked over to me, wrapping me in a tight hug. <em>You did it</em>, I thought as I embraced my sister. <em>You saved them, Lana Banana,</em> I thought proudly. <em>That’s for you. They’re singing for and looking to a mage to lead them- only took them ten years, but hey, better late than never, right?</em></p><p>She chuckled, then looked out at the sea of faces. <em>They’re singing for us, Sam</em>, she replied. <em>We did this… together.</em> Lana smiled as she looked at me, looking just as proud as I felt as she gave Alistair an adoring look, then nodding at Cullen as he rubbed my arms to fight the chill. <em>Team Mage seems to be right back on track.</em></p><p>Grinning, I took her hand in mine and smiled as I looked out at the sea of faces that were turned to us, then closed my eyes. <em>I’ve got news for you- our threads don’t end here- we’ve got more to do, Lana Banana. </em></p><p><em>That doesn’t surprise me,</em> Lana replied, squeezing my hand. <em>But are you going to be with me for it?</em></p><p><em>Always- we’re sisters, remember?</em> I replied with a smile. <em>And like dad said, family sticks together.</em></p><p><em>Then we can handle anything,</em> she said firmly. <em>With you by my side, there isn’t an obstacle in Thedas that can stand in our way. </em></p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>After the singing had died down, Sam met with the advisors to help them identify the items their mother had left for them. With a promise to call out to her if they needed her assistance, Lana breathed a sigh of relief as she wandered to the edge of the camp. Exhausted from her ordeal and the tasks looming in front of her, Lana collapsed next to a nearby tree, drawing her knees up to her chest as she tried to stay warm. While Alistair was the comforting presence she undoubtedly needed, she was desperate for a moment to herself- there were going to be too many eyes on her, looking to lead them… when she herself had no idea what to do.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Soon, Lana felt the presence of someone settling down next to her- with her hood drawn around her face, she couldn’t see who it was, but she let out a sigh and prepared to put on her leader mask again, forcing herself to smile. “Is there something I can help you with?”</p>
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  <p>“I was actually looking for you to ask that same question, Herald,” Solas replied politely. “It seems like you’re deep in thought.”</p>
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  <p>“I am,” she said wearily. “I’ve got a town full of people looking to me to guide them somewhere and I have no idea what to do.” She flipped off her hood, letting her red curls blow in the breeze. “They’re looking to me, but I’ve got nothing for them. Sam has nothing for me because I have no decision for her, so I’m useless right now.” Lana put her head in her hands, massaging her temples as she tried to compose herself. “It looks as if it’s only a matter of time before we all freeze to death out here, I’m afraid.”</p>
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  <p>“That’s not an attitude I would expect from you,” Solas remarked as he stared off into the distance. “Contemplative I could see, but never despondent, Herald.”</p>
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  <p>“I’m not a herald of anything,” Lana said bitterly. “I’m a girl who made a decision and got shoved into the wrong place at the wrong time, Solas. Nothing more.” </p>
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  <p>“I’d venture to say quite the opposite,” chided the elf as he turned to smile at Lana. “It seems to me like you were in the right place at the right time, for without your intervention, we would all be lost.”</p>
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  <p>Lana smiled, turning to face the apostate. “That’s very kind of you to say, though I am unsure of how true that is, considering everyone is looking for me to guide them to a destination that I cannot even begin to fathom." </p>
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  <p>“We all bear burdens,” he replied, looking at her sadly. “I fear I have something to tell you, Lana.” She paused, waiting patiently for him to continue. “I feel you need to know this,” Solas said carefully. “The orb Corypheus carries.. it is Elven.” He shook his head sadly. “And I do not know how people will react when they find out.”</p>
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  <p>“Other than the council,” Lana said in a measured tone as she stared at her feet, “no one needs to know.” Then she thought about it for a moment, turning back to the elf. “Do you think that was what caused the breach?”</p>
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  <p>“I do,” he replied. “When he unlocked the orb, I’m sure that’s what caused the explosion at the Conclave. We know you were sent through the fade- as for him, I am unsure how he survived the explosion, however.”</p>
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  <p>Frowning, she looked up at Solas, who was looking off into the distance with an unreadable expression on his face. “I’m curious, how do you know so much about this?” </p>
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  <p>“I’ve seen such things in the Fade," he said sadly. “They are Foci- similar to your sister’s ring, they are used to help channel magic. The fool thinks it Tevinter,” Solas scoffed, crossing his arms in front of him. “However, his empire was built on the bones of my people- I'd recognize our work anywhere."</p>
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  <p>“Unfortunately,” Lana said, feeling tone defeated as she traced a pattern on the pants her mom had sent her, “unless we can come up with a plan, I’m afraid the bastard may have won.”</p>
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  <p>“Well,” he said carefully, “I may be able to help you with that, Herald.” He paused, then turned away again. “In attacking the Inquisition, he’s changed things. In fact, I’d say he’s even changed you and Sam."</p>
  <p>"How?" Lana asked, staring down at the ground and trying to still her nerves. "I don't feel any different- I'm the same as I ever was."</p>
  <p>Solas shook his head. "I don't think so," he replied. "By attacking, he's made you stronger... more determined than ever before.” He turned back to Lana, his eyes bright with excitement. "And as I said, I think I may be able to help you."</p>
  <p>"Not to sound repetitive," Lana said with a smile, "but how can you do that? Unless you have a new town in your satchel, I'd say we're well and truly fucked, my friend."</p>
  <p>Solas laughed and shook his head, not taking a bit of offense to her crass language. "During my wanderings across the Fade, there is a place I have seen. It is a fortress, large enough for our party and more, jutting out from the very skies themselves.” </p>
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  <p>For a moment, Lana allowed the flickers of hope to warm her face as she turned to the elf, daring to dream that she may very well pull through this. “How do we reach this place? Can you show us?”</p>
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  <p>“It is not for me to guide them- you and she must be their guides,” Solas said with a smile. “I’ll enter your dreams and find Sam- I will show her my vision, give her access to what I’ve seen. Then, the two of you can lead us to a destination where the Inquisition can flourish and grow.”</p>
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  <p>“This… sounds like the answer, Solas,” Lana said gratefully, staring at her friend. “Pray tell, what is this place?” </p>
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  <p>“Skyhold,” he replied, then stood up, dusting the snow from his clothes as he took Lana's hand and helped her stand. “Come, Lana- let us find Sam so our sparrow can show us the way."</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Your Hero, Your Herald, Your Inquisitor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Things are weird after the destruction of Haven</p>
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    <p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>As we trudged through the snow-covered mountains toward our destination, Cassandra came up to me, shaking her head. “You know,” she said with a smile, “that bright red coat of yours makes you a perfect sighting beacon, Samantha.”</p><p>“Why do you think they put me in front?” I replied cheekily. “Plus, I’ve always been the guide- kinda different to do it based on a dream, but whatever.” I shrugged, then tapped my head. “Doesn’t make me any difference, though- still got the location locked right up here.” The seeker looked at me, then laughed as she shook her head. “But I’m thinking you didn’t come here to talk about my badass navigation skills, Cass.”</p><p>Her lips twitched at the nickname, but she didn’t correct me. “You’re right, Samantha,” she replied. “I wanted to talk to you about something. About a decision,” she said quietly as she looked around, making sure others were out of earshot. </p><p>“This is a switch,” I said with a smile. “So, they got you on the ‘ask Sam’ bandwagon too, huh?” Cassandra’s face went red with embarrassment, causing me to let out a soft laugh. “No, I don’t mean it like that,” I responded quickly. “It’s just different, is all. So, what’s on your mind?”</p><p>“The Inquisition needs a leader,” she said carefully. “For us to be organized and recognized as a power throughout Thedas, we need an Inquisitor. And I was wondering…” </p><p>Her voice trailed off, so I finished her thought. “And you were wondering what would happen if you asked Lana to be the leader,” I declared, smiling as I looked back at my sister, who was laughing as she talked with Alistair and Leliana. “Sure, I can check that for you, if you like.”</p><p>“Well,” she said hesitantly, darting her eyes toward me then looking at the ground. “It’s not just that…”</p><p>As my eyes widened with understanding, I got a horrified look on my face. “Abso-fucking-lutely not, Cass- there’s not a chance in hell of me doing that. Look, I love my sister and I love you guys, but I am in no way, shape, or form leadership material. Besides, Lana's the Hero of Ferelden, for fuck’s sake- she’s tailor-made for the job!”</p><p>“I thought he might be mistaken, but Cullen did say your opinion would be similar to this,” Cassandra replied, shaking her head. “However, I do want you to know that despite our beginnings, I see you as a valuable part of our efforts, Samantha. We would not be where we are without you.” She looked out at the refugees, then let out a sigh. “Thanks to your knowledge, we were able to save so many- I fear our success would not have been as great if you were not with us.”</p><p>“Mom did that,” I replied. “I just used what she sent us, that’s all.” After I had recovered and was spotted outside the tents, Leliana and Josephine had practically ambushed me with the bags my mom had sent, quizzing me on the items inside and their uses. When I opened the bags and realized they were full of medical supplies, I began to work with the healers. True to her nature, she’d included a book of her notes, letting me know what the items were and their uses. <em>Really does help to have a freaky space-time traveling doctor for a mom- all she needs now is to start traveling in a blue phone booth and she’d be all set,</em> I thought with a chuckle.So, using a combination of reading over her notes and viewing consequences, I rolled up my sleeves and began to work on appropriate treatments for the ill and injured. By the time I had made it through the camp, my ring was practically black from the constant searching and rewinding.<em> I guess I’m not shaking this savior title anytime soon, huh?</em></p><p>As if she could read my mind, Cass shook her head. “You are their savior,” she said quickly. “You and Lana both are responsible for our rescue- the people aren’t likely to forget it, Sam.”</p><p>I groaned. “I rather wish they would,” I said quickly. “I just want to help my sister, that’s all.”</p><p>“You’re a gifted healer,” Cass replied, giving me a soft smile. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, Sam.”</p><p>I raised my eyebrows, then paused to check the direction we needed to go in. “I believe that’s one of the few times you’ve used my nickname, Cass,”  I said with a grin. “Better be careful- a girl could get used to that.”</p><p>Cass rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “At any rate, what do you see if we ask Lana to be the Inquisitor?” Her eyes were expectant as they searched my face for an answer. “Will it work? Will we succeed?” </p><p>Smiling, I took her hand in mine as I searched the threads. “Better than you could ever imagine, Seeker.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“And I’m telling you,” Alistair said huffily as he crossed his arms, “that was years ago! There’s absolutely no reason for you to keep bringing that up, Cullen!” When the Commander simply smirked, Alistair growled and smacked him in the arm. “Oh, whatever! Shouldn’t you be over there with your wife or something?” Then he clapped his hands to his mouth and looked around the camp, his face turning bright red. “Oh crap,” he whispered, “I didn’t mean to-“</p><p>Cullen just laughed. “Though I enjoy your discomfort, I’ll put you out of your misery, friend. No need to worry- our marriage isn’t a secret around here. A surprise, yes, but assuredly not a secret anymore.” He blew out a breath, and Lana watched as her brother-in-law’s curls blew in the cold air. “If we're being honest, I’m rather thankful for that.”</p><p>“And to think, it only took a hole being torn in the sky to get you to show the world you’re in love with my sister,” she quipped. “Had I been alive all those years ago, I may well have zapped you for your behavior, dear brother.”</p><p>Leliana shook her head and laughed, the musical sound carrying on the breeze. “Hearing you talk about your death so casually is something I don’t know if I'll ever get used to, Lana.”</p><p>Lana shrugged as she turned to the spymaster. “If it’s any consolation, I’m still not used to being alive again- I suppose it’s an adjustment for everyone."</p><p>Alistair leaned over and placed a kiss on her cheek. “Does anyone else find it amazing that it takes the destruction of a town to get us to have a mini Team Mage reunion,” he said with a grin. “What level of destruction do you think it’d take to get Zev, Shale, and Oghren to be here with us?”</p><p>“I notice you left Wynne and Morrigan out of that,” Lana replied with a grin. “What, not looking to add any more mages to our ranks?” </p><p>When she said that, all the joy seemed to leave the air- Alistair gave her a sad look, then turned to Leli and Cullen. “You guys didn’t tell her?”</p><p>“Tell me what?” She looked to her friends, who were suddenly silent. “What am I missing?”</p><p>“Wynne… is gone,” Leliana said sadly. “She died in the battle of Whitespire, Lana.” When Lana’s face fell, she reached over and patted her arm. “She passed saving her son.”</p><p>“Badass old lady mage,” Alistair whispered, causing Cullen to nod. Then he turned to Lana. “Ten years is a long time, love.”</p><p>Lana tried to focus, swallowing the lump in her throat. “It seems it is,” she said quietly. “Just when I think I have a handle on things, I learn something new.” </p><p>“That’s life, Lana,” Cullen replied as he started to head off to meet his wife, who chatting with Cassandra nearby. “We take the good with the bad, mix the old with the new, and deal with the results. Some changes are better than most,” he said as he stared at Sam with a smile, “but we make our peace with the others along the way.”</p><p>“When did he get so wise?” Alistair asked, smirking at his friend as Cullen walked ahead of them. “What, did taking the stick out of his ass loosen something in his brain?” </p><p>In response, there was a loud smack as a snowball hit Alistair in the face, causing the Grey Warden to go stock still. While Leli and Lana tried to hide their smiles behind their hands, the Commander stood ahead of them with his hands on his hips. “Oh, is that all it takes to shut you up?” Cullen smirked at Alistair, who was spluttering as he wiped away the white powder. "Good to know.”</p><p>A maniacal smile spread across the face of the warden, making Lana giggle as she backed away. “Hardly,” he retorted, charging full speed at the commander, knocking Cullen on his back and shoveling piles of snow onto his old friend. “You should know better than trying to challenge me, Rutherford!” </p><p>“It’s not a challenge if it’s so blasted easy a child could do it,” Cullen retorted, sweeping his foot out and sending the warden to the ground. “Maker’s breath, you still haven’t learned anything, have you?” </p><p>Just then, a snowball hit Cullen in the back of the head- surprised, he whirled around to find his wife, staring at him and grinning like an idiot next to Leliana. “This was too much fun to miss,” she replied. Then she turned to her sister, and Lana could hear Sam's voice in her head. <em>Ready to win, Lana Banana?</em></p><p><em>Wynne would have had a conniption fit if she saw us right now,</em> Lana thought, shaking her head as she watched the three of them. <em>But it's more likely that </em><em>she might have used this time to teach Zevran a lesson- she was always a sly one.</em> She laughed to herself as she watched Cullen, Alistair, and Sam playing as if they didn't have a care in the world, and remembered all the times the old woman had chided her for being so serious and refusing to let go ever so often. <em>Despite your responsibilities,</em> she would say, <em>you're still young, Solana- enjoy yourself now and again. Being old can wait</em>, she said with a knowing smile. </p><p>Smiling at the memory, Lana conjured a ball of snow, then turned to her sister. <em>Oh, I’m ready to play</em>, she replied, just as she tossed the ball of snow at Sam, who disappeared, causing Leli to get hit in the face with the ball of powder, making Sam giggle from behind her. “Leli,” Lana said, hands out in apology as she backed away from the snow-covered bard, “you do know that was meant for Sam, right?”</p><p>“Does it matter? No matter the intent, I believe I owe you for that,” Leli replied sweetly as she advanced towards Lana, who let out a happy yelp as she ran ahead. “Sit still and take your punishment!” Leliana yelled, chasing after Lana with a snowball. “The sooner you do, the sooner I win!”</p><p> As Leliana caught up to her and dumped a handful of snow down her shirt, Lana laughed, the sound bright and loud in the crisp chilly air. Gasping for air between giggles, she noticed her sister reappearing nearby, bent over double with laughter. "You should have seen the look on your face when that snowball hit Leli! I thought you were gonna piss yourself, Lana!"</p><p>Before Sam could continue, Lana lobbed a snowball at Sam and caught her sister square in the face, making the girl squeal from the cold. “Dirty pool!” Sam screamed, shaking the snow off her face. “I’m gonna get you for that, sis!"</p><p>Sam threw a wild snowball, causing Sera to look up just as it whizzed past her head. Finally noticing that these antics had devolved into a free-for-all, the elf grinned as she picked up a handful of snow and dumped it on Lana with absolute glee. When Lana stared at her, the elf just grinned. “Wut? Curly-Wurly and Stabby are out n’about like loons- may as well get in while the gettin’s good, eh?”</p><p>Lana started to prep a response behind her back, but before she could launch it, a ball of snow pounded the elf in the shoulder- Sera looked over to see the Commander, smirking as he prepared another snowball. “I’ll have you know, I hate that name, Sera.”</p><p>“I think it suits you fine,” Varric replied, smiling as he gathered a ball of snow and lobbing it at the Commander, leaving a snowy imprint on his pauldrons. As Cullen gave him a fake glare, Varric laughed. “Do you know that I’ve been wanting to do that since we met in Kirkwall- I swear, Hawke would just about shit a brick if he could see you right now, Curly.” </p><p>“Good thing he can’t,” Cullen replied as he launched another snowball at Leliana, who was working with Sam to create the biggest snowball they could make. “The man is insufferable enough on his own- no sense in giving him even more fodder to tease me with.” </p><p>Suddenly, a ball of snow hit the dwarf in the back and Varric turned around, only to see the Seeker staring off into the distance- the only thing that gave her away was the flakes of snow clinging to her right hand, and Lana chuckled as Varric shook his head, rolling up balls of snow and lobbing them at Sam instead, who was trying unsuccessfully to hide behind Alistair.</p><p>As Lana watched her friends and chuckled to herself, she felt strong arms reach up from behind her and toss her into a nearby snowdrift. Shaking off the surprise and the snow, Lana popped her head up and found Bull laughing his head off. “You always gotta watch your back, Boss,” he said with a chuckle, offering his hand to help her up. “Can’t make it too easy, you know.”</p><p>Lana just smiled as she created a wall of snow, dumping it on the quinari and burying him up to his waist. “Oh, I agree, Bull- wouldn’t ever want to do that,” she replied with a wink, causing her friend to let out an uproarious laugh as he burst out of the snow and chased her around the camp.</p><p>Soon, she came to a stop behind Dorian and turned to Bull with her finger on her lips and pointed to the snow, then the mage- Dorian was too busy laughing at Cullen and Alistair to notice their approach. She looked at Bull with a wide and mischievous grin, and he nodded, winking at her as he quietly scooped up a handful of snow. Working to suppress her laughter, Lana did the same as they crept up on the Altus, finally dumping their handfuls under his cloak.</p><p>When the cold hit his skin, Dorian let out an ear-shattering shriek, causing Dog to come bounding up, barking happily in circles at his feet while Lana and Bull doubled over into fits of laughter. “What is wrong with you blasted Southerners!” Dorian screamed, trying to shake the snow out of his cloak and hop away from Dog, who thought this was a grand game. “I swear," he huffed angrily, kicking piles of snow at the two of them, "you’re all bloody idiots!” </p><p>As both the old and new members of Team Mage engaged in a snowball fight around the camp, Lana knew they had to be drawing some stares from the adults and gleeful cheers from the children, but she didn’t care- it had been too long since she’d spent time with her friends, and it had been too long since they’d all had a moment to remember that they were still people. The Nightingale and Commander often forgot that they were still Leli and Cullen, and having Alistair and her sister by her side again made Lana feel like there was still a chance for her to be happy in this world. So, instead of being the Herald, she would happily just be Lana for a moment, relishing in the simplicity of an old-fashioned snowball fight with her best friends in the world while honoring the memory of one of her dearest companions. </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>After Lana and Dorian dried our clothes, the members of the Inner Circle were sitting around the fire, roasting hot dogs from my pack and sipping on cups of hot chocolate. Feeding our large group meant that I had to rewind my food items quite a few times, but seeing the faces of my old and new friends as we sat around the fire together was worth the exhaustion. Happy, I leaned against my husband and snuggled inside my coat, then turned to Lana, who was in a similar state with Alistair. “This brings back memories,” I said with a smile as I sipped my hot chocolate. “We even have Vivienne playing the part of Morrigan as our resident bitchy mage,” I mumbled under my breath as the Enchanter rolled her eyes at me.</p><p>Lana chose to ignore my comment, shaking her head in disapproval. “Anyway,” she said, glancing over at Solas then to me, “how much longer before we reach Skyhold?” </p><p>“Not much longer,” I replied, then I looked at Leliana and Josephine, who were huddled together under one of the blankets. “Leli, is there anything you want to talk to Lana about while we’re here?” I asked pointedly- I was not letting them ambush Lana with this mess later. “Neither of us does too well with surprises, you know.”</p><p>“Hmm?” Lana asked, raising her eyebrows and staring at her friend. “Care to elaborate, Leli?”</p><p>“I-“ she paused, then looked to Cullen, who looked away. “We wanted to ask you something, Lana,” she said, choosing her words carefully, “but I don’t think-“</p><p>“For the love of the Maker,” my husband groaned, reaching into my bag for a cookie. “They want to know if you’d do us the honor of being our Inquisitor, and I fully support that choice." He turned to Lana, his expression serious. "I’ve served with you before, and I’d be honored to do it again, Lana.” </p><p>My sister swallowed as she nodded, then looked to me- in response, I smiled. “If you’re wondering the consequences, Lana Banana, don’t worry about it- I’ve already checked. You’re absolutely the right choice,” I proclaimed proudly. “And I’d like to be the second to pledge my services to you, Inquisitor Amell.”</p><p>“Same,” Sera said, grabbing another hot dog and shoving it into her mouth. “You ain't all frowny face and serious like those other twats, and you know how to act like one of us. If I gotta be around a couple of weirdos,” she said, looking at me, “may as well be you lot.”</p><p>“Don’t look at me,” Dorian said with a sniff as Sera dove back under the blanket with him. “I’m not from your crazy little town. But,” he said with a glance at me, “seeing as we’ve already shared an otherworldly experience and survived, I can say that you have my support, Lana.”</p><p>Solas nodded. “You have mine as well, for we shall need someone like you in the days to come- I would be honored to support you as Inquisitor.” He gave her a polite bow, then stood up and yawned, stretching his long arms behind his head. “Though this evening has been quite entertaining, I fear I need to take my leave and get some rest. Until tomorrow,” he said, walking toward his tent. “I wish you much success, Herald."</p><p>Cass just smiled, then worked hard to suppress a laugh as Varric stood up, giving Lana his own deep bow. “Milady,” he intoned in a serious voice, “Bianca and I pledge our services to your Inquisition, and I would be honored to serve as your chronicler and your companion,” he said as he took her hand, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles. “My services are yours, Lady Amell.”</p><p>Lana laughed, and Alistair shook his head. “I swear, if I didn’t know you better, Varric, I’d be tempted to think you were serious.” He turned to Lana, then placed a kiss on her cheek. “No need to ask me," he said with a smile. "You already know I’m one-hundred percent on Team Mage, love- wherever you go, I will follow.”</p><p>Confused, I looked at the warden, then pointed at Varric. “You two know each other?”</p><p>Ali nodded. “We met in Kirkwall. Met your cousin too, you know.” When my jaw dropped, Alistair gave me a wink. “What? You don’t know everything about me, Sparrow. I’m allowed to have a few secrets.” </p><p>“Apparently so,” I said, tossing a cookie at the warden, who caught it and popped it in his mouth. “Glad to know my brother hides shit from me.” </p><p>“Always,” he replied as he turned to Bull, who’d filled a mug with ale and was draining it dry. “What about you? Aren’t you the spy?”</p><p>I groaned at Ali's lack of tact, but Bull just laughed, the sound low and rumbling. “Boss is good people,” he said with a chuckle. “I think she’ll do just fine- the Chargers stand with the Inquisition.” </p><p>From the other side of the flame, Blackwall gave a nod to Lana. “As a fellow warden, I stand with you, Herald. My sword is yours,” he said firmly. </p><p>Soon, I felt a prickle in my head. <em>Warden?</em> Ali asked in my head, shifting his eyes to Blackwall, then back to me.<em> Is that the guy you were talking about? </em></p><p><em>Yep</em>, I replied, sipping my drink as to not give anything away while Leli and Josie talked, though I knew Lana and Dorian could sense the magic in the air. Vivienne probably could as well, but since I didn’t give a shit what she thought, I ignored it. <em>What, you got something for me? </em></p><p><em>That’s odd</em>, Ali thought as he rubbed Lana's shoulder absentmindedly. <em>There’s no taint in him, Sparrow. I don’t know who he is, but he’s definitely not a warden- I can’t sense him at all.</em></p><p><em>Hmmm</em>, I replied, looking over at the faux warden while Vivienne prattled on, her self-important blather causing me to roll my eyes. <em>Can you sense Lana? </em></p><p><em>Not at all</em>, he said. <em>There’s no taint in her either- maybe because she died? Guess your mom found a cure for the taint because this new body of hers isn’t blighted.</em> He kissed her on the forehead, then let out a deep sigh, causing Lana to look up at him curiously.  <em>I can’t say I care though. Do you? </em></p><p><em>Nope</em>, I said firmly, looking at Lana and smiling. <em>I got my sister back- that’s all I care about.</em></p><p>“If you two are done,” Lana interrupted with a mildly sarcastic tone, causing me and Ali to jump. Once she had decided we had been thoroughly scolded, she turned to the others. “This is a unanimous decision then?” When everyone nodded, my sister let out a deep sigh, glancing out at the sea of faces that were looking back at her.</p><p>Shifting in his seat, Cullen turned to Lana with a proud smile. “Will you lead us?” </p><p>“Yes,” Lana replied. "If all of you believe in me, I will do my best to never let you down," she said softly.</p><p>Then he turned to all of us, his face serious. “Will you follow her? Will you pledge your weapons and shields in her service? Support her as she dedicates herself to our cause?” </p><p>As we all gave our ascent, I walked over to my sister with a huge smile on my face. “In that case," I said as I took Lana’s hand and pulled her to her feet, “then let me be the first to present," I made a sweeping gesture toward Lana, then mimed a microphone as I turned to the others, "your Hero, your Herald… your Inquisitor!"</p><p>When I finished, cheers and laughter broke out all around the campfire, making Lana blush. “I- I don’t know what to say,” she stammered, looking at everyone with wide eyes. “Other than I’ll do my best to prove myself worthy of this.”</p><p>“You’ve got some time to think about what you want to say- we get to do this properly once we get to Skyhold." Josie said, walking up to hug her friend. "But no matter what, we support you. From this moment on," she said solemnly, "you will never be alone- we serve the Inquisition."<br/>
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"She never was," Leliana said with a soft smile. "I'm just hoping she realizes that now."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This took on a life of its own, and I'm pretty glad about it- considering that Lana has some serious history with Leli and Cullen, it makes sense that they'd talk to her first before springing this on her at Skyhold, even if Sam had to make them do it. Besides, I love the fact that Ali brings out the best in people :)</p><p>Want to chat about this and other stories (and get previews of upcoming chapters? Feel free to find me on Discord! Danypooh#8059</p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Settling In</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The wine club finds a hideout; Cullen picks out a place in Skyhold</p>
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<hr/><p>“I can’t believe this place,” I whispered to Alistair and Dorian as we watch the advisors declare Lana to be the Inquisitor. “Have either of you seen anything like this before?”</p><p>Ali shook his head. “Can’t say I have, Sparrow.” He took a look around at the fortress, which was in surprisingly good shape, despite the lack of use. “Looks like you did it- you found us a home.”</p><p>“I just want a bath,” Dorian moaned as we walked off and let the cheers fade into the background. “A nice, warm bath and a glass of decent red wine. Strong walls and security are amazing, yes, but getting all this muck and grime off my skin and some alcohol in my system is taking a higher priority.”</p><p>“Hmmm,” Ali said, giving me a wink as we stopped in the overgrown garden. “Guess I should hide those bottles of Antivan wine I snagged from the last town I visited, huh?” When Dorian and I turned to the warden with wide eyes, Alistair gave me a smug look. “What, did you think our wine and cheese nights were going to stop now that Lana’s back, Sparrow? Besides, I think we’ve missed a few months.” </p><p>At that, Dorian raced over, clutching Alistair’s shirt collar and choking back a sob. “Bless you, you kind, beautiful man! You have no idea what you’ve just done for me!”</p><p>“Technically, I haven’t done anything for you yet,” Alistair teased, earning himself a glare from Dorian and a snort from me. “But, I’m sure if you can use your magic fire fingers to find a way to get me a bath doesn't involve an ice-cold river, then I think Sparrow and I might be able to add another seat at our gathering.”</p><p>“As soon as we find a somewhere that doesn't look like I'll need a tetanus shot, then yeah,” I replied, looking around the fortress, kicking away a crumbling brick with my foot. “This place is a mess, guys.” </p><p>“Hey, you’re the one who found it,” Alistair said, plucking a string of weeds from what looked like a somewhat intact bench. He started to sit down but immediately thought better of it, choosing to give the old and rotted wood a wide berth instead. “Can’t you do your weird ‘rewind a thing’ trick and get us a working castle without us having to, you know, work?”</p><p>I glared at Alistair and threw a stray weed into his hair, making him yelp and brush it off quickly. Dorian chuckled as he pushed open a nearby door, which sent up a cloud of dust that made him launch into a coughing fit. “In answer to your lazy ass question,” I said huffily, "no, I can’t- I can only rewind things from my world, plus I have to know what the original state was. So, I’m afraid you’re gonna have to pick up a broom just like the rest of us and help.”</p><p>“But I’m dating the Inquisitor,” he whined, putting me in a light headlock. “And besides, I’m too pretty to work- you know I’m much more suited to dashing rescues and slaying demons.” </p><p>Suddenly there was a screech from behind us, making us both jump about a foot in the air. “It’s a miracle!” Dorian shouted. “Quick- bring your asses down here right this instant!”</p><p>Looking at each other for a split second, we raced into the room, only to hesitate when I approached the nearly rotten stairway. “Um, Dorian,” I called down, “I don’t know if you can fly or some shit, but from where I’m sitting these stairs don’t look all that safe, my dude.”</p><p>“Please,” he scoffed from below me, his voice echoing up from the dark chamber beneath me. “If they start to crumble… <em>which I doubt</em>… just pause time or something! Now stop yakking and stalling and get your lovely asses down here post-haste!”</p><p>Deciding it wasn’t worth the argument, I let out a sigh and gingerly made my way down the stairs, trying to step as lightly as I could. Alistair, however, was a brute, taking the stairs as if he wasn’t likely to go crashing to the bottom at any moment. “All right,” I said as I brushed a cobweb out of my face, “what was so damn important that we almost broke our necks getting down here?”</p><p>“Its a <em>bath</em>!” Dorian screeched, twirling his arms around as he spun in a circle. “There’s a hot spring running underneath the fortress! And someone had the sense to put a bath in here!” He dropped to his knees, pumping his fists in the air. “For once,<em> for bloody once</em>, something has gone right!” Then he turned around to us, his eyes wide with panic. “We will block this door and tell no one about what we have found, do you hear me!” The mage dipped a hand in the surprisingly clear water and shuddered. “The mere thought of those unwashed barbarians spoiling this for me makes my very skin crawl!”</p><p>I looked at Alistair and shrugged- having a private bath wouldn't be the worst thing, and despite being old and unused, the room was in pretty good shape. “Deal, but we have to make an exception for Lana and Cullen- I’m not getting killed over this, Dorian.” Then I looked at the crumbling stairs and sighed. “But I think we have a problem- someone needs to come and fix those stairs, guys.” I looked at the light filtering through the old wood and shivered. “And hate to break it to you, but I’m not a carpenter.” </p><p>“Then we will <em>learn</em>,” he hissed, pointing at the spring angrily. “It is a <em>bath</em>, Sam!”</p><p>Alistair grinned, kneeling by the edge and dipping his fingers in the water. “I’m kind of inclined to agree with Fancy Pants over here- if he’s willing to help me clean it out and fix it up, I’m <em>so</em> down for a secret hideaway.” Then his eyes grew wide, and he raced over to me. “It could be a Team Mage hideout, Sam!” </p><p>“NO!” Dorian snapped. “Can you imagine Sera getting her grubby little paws on our delectable find? Or Cassandra barking some inane rules about time limits? Absolutely not!”  He crossed his arms, then stared longingly at the water. “Do you think we can clear some of this out and meet over here tonight? I swear, having something this wonderful so close yet unattainable is torture right now!”</p><p>“You know, my muscles <em>are</em> kind of achy,” I said, rolling my head and cracking my neck. “Guess that’s what happens when you save a town and stuff, huh?” </p><p>“You’re full of shit, you know that,” Dorian said as he cleared a place for us to sit down by creating a gust of wind, blowing a bunch of the branches to one side of the room, “I say we turn this into the official location of the Team Mage Wine Club, membership limited to <em>five</em>,” he said pointedly. </p><p>“How did he just expand our get together to include other people?" Alistair asked, his voice rich with amusement. “Do you even have enough snacks for five people, Sparrow?”</p><p>“For a chance to relax in a bath like this?” I said, taking off my shoes and rolling up my pants, dipping my feet in the wonderfully warm pool and letting out a soft moan as the water coursed over my aching feet. “I'll make it happen." I wiggled my toes and felt the tension in my body start to melt away, then let out a happy sigh. “You know what? Fuck those stairs- I can travel here with my ring.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Cullen looked around the tower, giving a low whistle of approval as he surveyed the room. It had two things going for it- the tower was on the side of the battlements that were currently not crumbling, and it was big enough for him and Sam- it had an upstairs for sleeping quarters and a lower area for his desk, meaning he wouldn’t disturb her with his work if he decided to work a little longer in the evenings. Granted, it had a hole in the roof, but if he was being honest, he found the hole to be part of its charm. </p><p>“Are you sure you want this room?” Leliana asked, lowering her cowl as she looked over the room, moving a stray piece of wood from the center of the room to the side. “I assure you, there are plenty of places to choose from, Commander.” </p><p>“I’m quite sure- this place is perfect,” he said quietly. “Sam and I need a place as soon as possible- I’ll not have her in a tent for a single night longer than necessary.”</p><p>“You two didn’t seem to mind while we were on our way here,” the spymaster teased. “In fact, the two of you seemed downright cozy-“</p><p>“That’s enough, friend,” he chided, though they both knew there was no malice in it. “Must you always tease me at every turn, Leli?”</p><p>“Only when you make it easy for me to do so,” she said with a grin. “But in all seriousness, will you and Samantha be alright in here?” She eyed the room, no doubt making plans in her head- he wondered when Josephine would be by with her quill to start taking measurements and requisitioning furniture. "Will this space be large enough for the two of you?”</p><p>“It’s bigger than our old house, and affords us more privacy,” he responded. “Seeing as how livable space is a luxury at the moment, Sam and I will be more than able to make due- focus your efforts on the others, Leli.”</p><p>“Why does that sentiment not surprise me,” Leliana said with a light chuckle. “But I know when the conversation is closed, and you seem to be set on this location- I’ll leave you to it.” She started to walk out the door but stuck her head back in, one of her famous smiles brightening her face as she pulled her hood back up over her head. “And I’ll do my best to locate a desk for you- I know you’re chomping at the bit to return to your duties, Commander.”</p><p>He gave his friend a sheepish grin as he rubbed the back of his neck. Leliana knew him nearly as well as his wife did, and the commander constantly wondered how been lucky enough to have this woman as one of his best friends. “In the words of Alistair, you are a wicked woman.” </p><p>“Only to those who deserve it,” she said with a laugh as she walked out of the door of his new home. “Enjoy your new quarters, Cullen."</p><p>He shook his head as she left, setting about fixing up the quarters as best he could before Sam found him. As he cleared out the debris, he found his mind replaying the events of the day. After Lana had been declared as Inquisitor, she and the advisors found what would become their new War Room, trying their best to gather their bearings and be productive. Finding the fortress had only been the first step- now that they had a place, everyone would need to focus on turning it into a home, so he and Josephine had spent the afternoon putting together lists of people and assigning various jobs around the keep. He'd hoped Sam and Alistair would accompany them, but the two of them had disappeared, likely off with Dorian somewhere.</p><p>Soon, there was a knock at the door and Cullen looked up, effectively startled from his thoughts. “Come in,” he called out, gathering the debris from the front of the entrance. </p><p>The door opened and Varric entered, taking a look around the room and letting out a low whistle. “Nice, Curly,” he replied, walking around the room. “What, staking out your claim already?” </p><p>He chuckled, tossing pieces of old wood into a corner of the room. “I’ve had enough of sleeping in a tent- my wife tosses and turns like a nug on a spit if she’s not in a bed.”</p><p>“Somehow, that’s not surprising,” Varric replied, shaking his head. “Good show out there today, by the way. Way to get everyone pumped up and forget that we’re about to put them to work for the foreseeable future.” </p><p>“Right now, we all have to do what we can,” Cullen said evenly, then winced as a flash of blinding pain shot up between his eyes. Trying to continue as if nothing unusual had just occurred, he smiled at Varric. “Eventually, things will settle down- I have faith in Lana.”</p><p>The eagle-eyed dwarf, however, didn’t miss a beat. “Those headaches of yours wouldn’t be part of the reason you’re itching to get away from everyone, would it?” When Cullen didn’t answer, Varric frowned. “You tell Sparrow yet?”</p><p>“She knows I get headaches,” he said plainly. “In fact, the pills in her bag help tremendously.” He rubbed his head and shut his eyes, hoping the pain would subside and he could get a moment of peace. “There’s nothing else to tell yet.”</p><p>“You know those are only the first steps, right?” Varric leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “What happens when you start shaking like a leaf and retching your guts up every hour? Think she won’t notice then?” </p><p>“It may not come to that.” The commander turned away, but Cullen could tell Varric wasn’t buying it. In truth, it had already happened once or twice, but each time he had been able to blame it on something else.  With some water and some of her magic tablets, he’d been able to go back to sleep with only Leli being the wiser about what had happened, but Cullen knew his luck would run out eventually.  </p><p>“Bullshit,” the dwarf replied with a scowl. “You look like shit, Curly- don’t think we haven’t noticed. Everyone thinks you’re just tired from all this crap we have going on, but what happens when-“</p><p>“Say <em>nothing</em>,” he hissed, his tone harsh and angry as he whirled on his friend. “I will not have my wife worrying about something she can’t control!” </p><p>“Curly,” Varric said quietly, “you’re going to hurt her even more if something happens to you. You have to talk to her. If not her, then Lana- she deserves to know what’s going on with the commander of her forces.” </p><p>Embarrassed at his outburst, Cullen let out a sigh and gave the dwarf an apologetic smile. “My apologies, Varric- I didn’t mean to be curt with you.” </p><p>Varric patted him on the arm and shrugged. “I’m just worried about you, Curly. I’ve known you too long and I don’t want anything happening to you, kid.” </p><p>“If it gets worse, I’ll talk to them,” Cullen promised. “In the meantime, I’ll talk to Sam about the headaches- though she’d never admit to it, she has a talent for healing.” </p><p>“True,” Varric replied. “But we’ll have to pry her, Cheesy, and Sparkler apart first- I haven’t seen the three of them since we had the ceremony.” </p><p>“Neither have I,” he replied. “But I’ve heard no reports of destruction or calamity, so it seems to be all right. Plus, the two of them will keep her safe.”</p><p>Varric let out a surprised whistle. “Well that’s new- I’ve never heard you be so relaxed about Sparrow being out and about.” He smirked at the Commander. “Care to share what’s in those pills of hers, Curly?”</p><p>Cullen let out a laugh, then kneeled in front out the fireplace, starting to clear the debris from inside of it. “Ali's known her almost as long as I have, and for all his bluster, Dorian enjoys her company. If I had to pick anyone other than you, Leli, or Lana to keep her safe, it would be those two.”</p><p>“I’m honored,” Varric replied with a chuckle. “At any rate, I came here to ask your thoughts on something.”</p><p>“Of course,” he said, turning around and staring at the dwarf. “What’s on your mind?”</p><p>Varric let out a deep breath. “I think it’s time I told him what’s going on.” The storyteller looked down, then back to Cullen nervously. “But I’m warning you- it’s not going to be pretty when they find out we knew where he was, Curly.”</p><p>“You mean it’s not going to be pretty when Cassandra finds out,” he corrected. “I suspect Sam and Leli would have had no difficulties finding him if they truly desired it.” Then the commander paused, sitting back on his heels. “Is he still with him?” When Varric nodded, Cullen let out a groan. “Then Sam is going to be equally as angry,” he said wearily. “Are you <em>sure</em> you want to call him?”</p><p>“He’s fought him before… <em>we’ve</em> fought him before,” Varric replied, correcting himself. “It’s too big to be a coincidence, Curly- that bastard was dead!” He shook his head angrily. "We made sure of it!”</p><p>“Lana was dead,” Cullen said quietly. “Of that, I can assure you.” He sighed, settling back next to the fireplace. “It seems that death doesn’t seem to mean what it used to, does it?"</p><p>“Not by a long shot,” Varric agreed. “Look, I wasn’t asking for permission,” he replied, voice heavy with exhaustion. “I just didn’t want you to be blindsided when shit hits the fan.” </p><p>“I appreciate it,” Cullen said, rising to his feet and dusting off his pants. “Do what you feel is best, Varric- I will be fine.” </p><p>“You say that now,” Varric replied with a grin. “Keep that in mind when Sparrow tries to take a chunk out of your hide later on.”<br/>
--<br/>
No sooner than he’d hauled out the last pile of trash from the first floor, he heard his wife’s voice in his head. <em>How’s it going? </em></p><p>Cullen felt himself smile as he wiped the sweat from his brow. <em>I’m actually working, unlike my layabout wif</em>e, he teased. <em>I’m clearing out our quarters- what are you doing? </em></p><p><em>Our quarters, huh?</em> He could hear her chuckle, and he leaned against the wall, relishing in the sound of her voice in his head.<em> Guess I should tell Ali to go find Lana, huh? </em></p><p><em>So I have that blasted warden to blame for my wife’s absence, is that right?</em> After testing its strength, he climbed the ladder to the second floor and surveyed the surroundings, staring up at the sky through the hole in the roof. <em>Remind me to punch him when I see him. </em></p><p>Sam snickered.<em> One, it’s technically Dorian’s fault, and two, why does our room have a hole in the roof? </em></p><p><em>If you can see me, then you should come home,</em> he chided. <em>I’d rather have you with me.</em></p><p>“You’d always rather have me with you,” Sam said as she put her arms around his waist. “So,” she remarked, looking around the room, “this is ours, huh?”  </p><p>“Barring any other disasters, yes,” he replied with a smile. “An office downstairs for me, and a sleeping area upstairs for us… I think it works.” He looked out over the room and sighed as the fading rays of the sun dotted the room in an orangish glow. “Honestly, I just want to stay here with you,” he whispered, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head. </p><p>“We’ve been through a lot, haven’t we?” Sam mused as she closed her eyes. Cullen felt his lips purse together as he realized she was checking the threads. Just as he was about to protest, she opened her green eyes, smiling at him in that way that made him feel like he was that young templar in Kinloch Hold again. “This is ours,” she said resolutely. “We’re home, hon."</p><p>Letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, Cullen closed his eyes as he stroked her hair, comforting himself with the softness beneath his fingertips. “I’m glad to hear it.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Lana had been looking for Alistair all day- he was nowhere to be found after the ceremony, and when she’d finished in the War Room, she’d finally resorted to asking Sam about his whereabouts. She knew it was silly, but not knowing where he was sent pangs of panic throughout her body. She couldn't shake the feeling that if she looked around he’d be gone again, never to return. After checking with her sister, she found Alistair in the empty throne room, staring off into the distance. He looked as if he were lost in thought, and she smiled as she crept up behind him. “I missed you,” she said softly, wrapping her hands around his chest and placing a soft kiss on his neck. “I was scared you’d left.”</p><p>He returned the smile as he placed his hands over hers. “Never,” he replied softly, turning to gaze into her eyes. “We’ve been apart too long- I’ve got no intentions of leaving you, love.”</p><p>“That’s good,” she said as she stood next to him. “Because I don’t want you to go.” Lana stared out into the room, dreading the subject she knew was hanging in the air between them. “I take it Sam told you about Morrigan, right?”</p><p>“She did,” he said, his tone measured and giving nothing away. “But I want to hear it from you."</p><p>Biting her lip and frowning she reached for his hand, feeling her resolve strengthen once his fingers closed around hers. “Care to take a walk with me?” </p><p>“I’d be a fool to turn down a walk with the love of my life,” Alistair replied, placing a soft kiss on her cheek. “Lead the way, Inquisitor.”</p><p>Lana frowned as they made their way out of the throne room and towards the apartments Josie had given her. “I do wish you wouldn’t call me that,” she said softly. “I always just want to be Lana with you.” </p><p>“I hate to break it to you, but you seem to collect titles, dear.” He grinned, then began counting on his fingers, “Grey Warden, Hero of Ferelden, Herald of Andraste, Inquisitor… if I were a lesser man, I might be jealous.”</p><p>She scowled as they made their way up the stairs. “Coming from the man who could’ve been the King of Ferelden if he so chose.” He scoffed and she smiled, turning away as they entered her chambers. “Do you ever regret it?”</p><p>“What, not being king?” Alistair asked, closing the door behind him. “Absolutely not- the only thing I regret is losing you, Lana.” He sighed, then walked out to the balcony, staring out at the vastness of Skyhold. “Speaking of that... why didn’t you tell me what she offered you?”</p><p>Lana sighed, knowing she owed him an answer that she didn’t quite have. “Because,” she said, trying to find the right words. “I didn’t want that for you, Ali. I didn’t want to place that burden on your shoulders- what Morrigan wanted from me was a price that none of us should have had to pay.”</p><p>“But losing you was acceptable?” He leaned over the balcony, his head hung low. “Ten years, Lana,” Alistair said sadly. “We lost ten years with you, and if it weren’t for Sam’s- I mean, your mom, you’d still be gone. I agree that Morrigan can piss off, but what about the price Sam and I paid for losing you?”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Lana whispered- it was all she could think to say.</p><p>“Yeah, well, it’s done now,” he replied, raising his head and walking back into the room. “But I need you to promise me something, Solana Amell.”</p><p>Wincing at him using her full name, Lana nodded. “Anything.”</p><p>“Don’t ever decide for me again,” he warned. “I love you more than anything in this world, but I will <em>not</em> have you choosing my destiny for me.” Alistair gave Lana a hard look, making her swallow at its intensity. “Do I make myself clear?”</p><p>“As crystal,” she replied, breathing a sigh of relief when he made his way over and pulled her to him, burying her face in his chest. “From here on out, no matter what comes, we shall face it together.” She looked up at him, relief evident on her face when he didn’t appear to hate her. “I always want you with me, Alistair."</p><p>Alistair kissed the top of her head and held her so tightly that she could barely breathe. “Then I’ll be with you always, Lana. Till the end of my days, I vow to be by your side for as long as you'll have me."</p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. I still hate zombies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lana and co visit the Fallow Mire</p>
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<hr/><p>Even though it was so early in the morning that the sun hadn’t fully risen in the sky, my husband was wide awake and preparing to head out to the training grounds. Frowning as he started to pull on his pants, I reached over and placed a hand on his thigh. “Seriously? You went to bed super late, but yet you’re up at the asscrack of dawn? You’re going to keel over if you keep going like this, Metal Man.”</p><p>Chuckling at the use of his old nickname, Cullen turned to me and took my chin in his hand, softly stroking my cheek. “Despite me wishing I could stay in bed with you,” he replied as he gave me a gentle kiss on the nose, “I’m afraid duty calls- I have to conduct training sessions before our meeting this morning.”</p><p>“We have a meeting? This morning?” I groaned as I started to get out of bed, fully aware that I was still naked. When Cullen noticed me stand, he reached out and placed his hands around my waist, pulling me into his lap. Feeling the scratchy material of his pants on my skin, I giggled as he kissed my neck. “Sorry, but I don’t think I’m wearing enough clothes right now.”</p><p>“On the contrary,” he replied. “I think I’m wearing too many.” Then he sighed, resting his head on my shoulder. “What I wouldn’t give to be able to stay in bed with you today.”</p><p>I gave him a wicked grin, then closed my eyes. “Well, if you can be quick, I think your wife can make a few extra minutes where no one will miss you.” </p><p>He chuckled as he returned me to the bed. “Did my wicked wife just use her powers for ill and stop time?”</p><p>Shrugging, I draped my leg over him and wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling the coarse hairs on his chin tickling my skin. “What good is having powers if you can’t use them for your own nefarious purposes every once in a while?” I leaned over to his ear, tracing my tongue on the outside of it and listening as his breath hitched in his chest. “Besides, I think we deserve a little extra time together, don’t you?”</p><p>“I’m rather inclined to agree,” he replied as he flipped me onto my back, enveloping my mouth with his as I let out a surprised squeal. Breaking the kiss, he looked up, amber eyes bright with desire. “How long can you keep things like this?”</p><p>“For you?” I asked, threading my hands in his hair and smiling as he closed his eyes and let out a soft moan. “As long as you need me to, Metal Man.”</p><p>Cullen grinned, bringing his mouth back to mine as he flung the covers over us. “Well then, we’d be remiss if we didn't test that theory, wouldn’t we?”<br/>
—<br/>
A little later and a nearly blackened ring later, I got dressed and flung my bag on my shoulder as I made my way to what was gradually shaping up to be the tavern, hoping there was still food there. After grabbing what passed for food and looking around, I groaned- though it was early, the place was full and there were almost no spots open. I had nothing against anyone in the bar, but I never really liked eating with others- outside of camp, I usually preferred to take my meals in a smaller setting, which I was starting to see was going to be nigh impossible here.</p><p>Just as I was getting ready to head back to my room, I heard someone call my name. “Samantha!” Cassandra called out. “Over here!”</p><p>Surprised, I looked up and saw Cassandra and Lana, sitting at a table in the corner and waving at me. Shaking my head and smiling to myself, I made my way over to the two of them, plopping my plate down and sitting in the empty seat next to them. “Hey- fancy meeting you two here.” Realizing someone was missing, I looked around, found nothing, and turned back to my sister. “Wait, Ali isn’t with you?”</p><p>She shook her head. “Afraid not- he’s helping your husband with training. He also said there was something he needed to talk to him about and I didn’t push it- knowing Ali, it could be something about the benefits of stocking this place with different cheeses.” She took a bite of her food, then grimaced. “Maker, I wish I had a burrito right about now.”</p><p>Cassandra looked at us curiously. “I can’t say I’ve ever had the pleasure of trying one of those,” she said as she sipped her drink. “Are those the items you two often share in the mornings?”</p><p>“You mean that <em>she</em> eats in the morning,” I corrected her. “Lana usually eats them both without ever coming up for air.” Sighing, I stabbed my breakfast, trying my best not to think about what it was before it ended up on my plate. “Note to self- I’m finding someone in the kitchen and talking to them about how to make a hash brown.” </p><p>“Oh, you mean those tasty potato cakes!” Lana gushed, staring longingly at the kitchen. “If only… goodness, I miss those things, Sam.” </p><p>“You’re a spoiled brat,” I teased, punching her playfully in the shoulder. “Cass, I will personally stop this human garbage disposal from eating everything in sight and bring you a burrito next time we’re at camp- then we can have an objective opinion if they’re really that good or if she’s just nuts.” Cassandra chuckled, and I noticed a book sitting next to her. “Hey,” I asked, picking it up, “what’s this?”</p><p>The seeker turned a bright shade of red as she snatched the book back from me and sat on it. “You never saw that!” Cassandra hissed, pointing angrily at Lana and I. “Not a word about this… to <em>anyone</em>!”</p><p>I grinned as I looked over at Lana. “What’s so bad about a book? I don't think you could even imagine the levels of trash I have on my phone.” I turned to Lana, resting my chin on my hand. “Speaking of, what books did you end up putting on yours?”</p><p>She paused, looking thoughtful. “Well, I think our libraries were the same, Sam. Mom just made my phone almost a duplicate of yours so I would know what you were talking about half the time.” Then her eyes widened. “But there was this one story about the man who traveled back in time and met this mage-“</p><p>“Okay,” I said, turning red and placing my hand in her face, “we’re not going to talk about my trashy romance novels in front of the Seeker, ok?”</p><p>“What?” Lana said, shoveling the rest of her breakfast in her mouth. “Though their description of magic was positively atrocious, I found the story sweet- a love story that spans the universe, sword fights…” She sighed, sipping her tea. “I found it to be one of my favorites- I could do with a few more stories like that if I’m being honest.”</p><p>Cass paused, glancing between us as if she couldn’t be sure that we weren’t playing a trick on her. “You two… like stories about romance?”</p><p>“Oh god yes,” I said, forcing myself to take another bite of the stuff on my plate. “Remember, I was pretty much locked in my house most of my life- the only action I was getting until I met Lana was from my books and movies.” When Cassandra gave me a weird look, I clarified my statement. “Movies are visual stories,” I said quickly.</p><p>“Ah,” she replied, nodding, Then, looking around furtively, she pulled the book out and carefully slid it out toward us. “You two can tell no one of this, understand?”</p><p>“<em>Swords and Shields</em>,” I said, reading the cover. “By…” then my eyes opened wide and Cassandra put her head in her hands. “<em>Varric Tethras?</em> Are you shitting me?”</p><p>“Keep your voice down!” Cass hissed. “It is absolute drivel… but the story is beautiful,” she gushed. “I have the first two and I’ve read them over and over again,” she admitted, “but he hasn’t finished the series.” </p><p>Lana looked around, then cast a silence spell over our table. “Sam,” she said furtively, “do you think we could create another Earth zone in my apartments? I think you have some of these movies on our phones and I daresay our seeker would enjoy seeing them as well… don’t you agree?” </p><p>I let out a gasp that made Cass jump. “Oh my god, Lana, you’re a motherfucking genius- we can have a Thedas movie night!” I clapped my hands and squealed, grabbing her hands like a high school girl. “It can be a sleepover!”</p><p>Cass looked back and forth between the two of us, her expression wary. “What do you mean, ‘sleepover’?”</p><p>“It’s an Earth thing,” I said, then my face fell. “I’ve never had a real one of my own,” I said sadly, ignoring the looks from the two women at the table.  “I never had any friends, but I asked Grace about the ones she went to.” I smiled, thinking about the memory. “She said that she and her friends all got together and slept in sleeping bags in the living room, then gave each other makeovers and did their hair. After that, they would eat snacks and watch all kinds of movies in their pajamas.” I sighed, drumming my fingers on the table. “I was so sad that I wouldn’t get to go to one that Grace had a little one just for me in our living room.”</p><p>"Why wouldn't you get to go to one of these?" Cassandra asked, staring at me with interest. Lana was watching us intently and waiting for my answer, shoveling food into her mouth and stealing a piece of bread from my tray. "Though pointless, this seems like it might have been interesting."</p><p>I swallowed as I looked down at my plate. "You need friends to have one of those, Cass." Feeling tears well behind my eyes, I wiped my face and turned away, not willing to start crying in the middle of the tavern. “But yeah, that’s a sleepover- I know, it’s stupid,” I said quickly. “You know, just forget I said anything- you guys don’t have to-“ </p><p>“Sam,” Cass said gently, placing a hand on my shoulder, “I would love to attend one of these ’sleepovers’- it sounds fun.”</p><p>“And I as well,” Lana said, taking my hand and wiping my face. “You forget that I had few friends until I met you, dear sister- being trapped in a tower with people who despise you tends to leave one with few options for social activities.” Then she leaned over and hugged me. “I think this is a wonderful idea.”</p><p>“Then that settles it- when we have a moment, Sam will show us how to have a proper sleepover, complete with makeovers and the movies you two speak of,” Cass said firmly, then gave a smile as she stood up, clearing our plates from the table. “And I’m rather looking forward to it.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>After breakfast, Sam and Cass accompanied Lana to their morning meeting, laughing as they made plans for their potential sleepover. When they entered the War Room, all eyes turned to the three laughing women, and Alistair gave her a look, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “You know,” he drawled, “I’ve traveled with you long enough to know that when three women start giggling, it never ends well for me.” </p><p>“Or me,” Cullen chimed in, nodding at Lana and leaning over to give his wife a quick peck on the cheek. “I’m with the warden- these kinds of covert conversations usually spelled trouble for Alistair and I.”</p><p>“Sure did,” Alistair agreed. “I distinctly remember one such occasion leading to Wynne pulling Cullen and myself aside to have a special talk… <em>that</em> <em>I didn’t need!”</em> He glowered at Cullen. “That was all your fault, Rutherford- I thought I was going to melt into a puddle of embarrassed Alistair.”</p><p>Cullen shrugged. “It was informative,” he replied with a grin. Then he looked over at Leliana, who was smirking at him. “At any rate,” he said quickly, clearing his throat, “now that we’ve gotten our correspondence back on track, Scout Harding has sent word that some of our Inquisition troops in the Fallow Mire have been captured. So,” he said as he turned to Sam, his face settling back into his commander mask, “what happens if we go in to rescue our troops?”</p><p>Sam sighed, then crossed her arms. “You do realize that you guys can just, oh I don’t know, make a decision?” When Lana gave her a look, she rolled her eyes and let out a soft huff. “Fine, I’ll check.” She closed her eyes and paused for a second, wobbling a bit and chuckling before opening them again and reaching into her bag for a piece of candy. Lana reached in and took one, unwrapping it while Sam shot daggers at her with her eyes. “We can save them… but I think I’m going to pass on this mission, Lana Banana.” </p><p>“<em>WHAT!</em>” The advisors exclaimed in unison, causing Sam and Lana to look at them in shock. “You can’t stay home,” Josie said quickly, looking at the others. “What… what if Lana needs you out there?”</p><p>“Like you said before, she can call me as needed. Besides,” Sam retorted, pointing to the warden, “she’s got him- they’ll be fine.”</p><p>Leliana looked like she was trying her best to keep her composure. “I think that with your language skills, you should be the one to go, Sam- I’d hate for this rescue to fail simply because of a translation issue when we have the best translator in Thedas with us.”</p><p>“But it’s a bog!” Sam whined, stomping her foot. “Bogs are cold, damp, and dreary- I’ve been on this ride before and it sucks, guys! I’m going to chafe and my hair is gonna go frizzy!”</p><p>Over Sam’s head, Lana saw Leli shoot Cullen a look. Her brother-in-law shot another one back, then Leli gestured to Sam, and when he opened his mouth to protest, she gave him a look that could melt steel. Finally, Cullen sighed, turning to his wife. “Sam, as much as I would love to keep you here with me, I think Leliana is right- having you with them as a translator is a proper plan.” He leaned over, and whispered something in her ear that made Sam blush, then straightened up. “Deal?”</p><p>“Fine, she replied as she nodded. “But I’m taking all the goddamn vaseline with me.”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>When we approached the forward camp, the dwarven scout gave me a grin. “Looks like you just couldn’t stay away, could you, Sam?” Then she looked around and shuddered. “I’d advise against swimming around here- strange things keep coming up from the lake.”</p><p>I turned to Alistair and glared. “I told them I should’ve stayed home! Not only do I have to deal with this goddamn weather-“ I gestured wildly to the fog that was swirling around us- “but I have to live in a horror movie too? Who did I piss off to deserve this?”</p><p>“Everyone,” he replied with a grin. “But don’t be sad- I’m here to protect the scared little bird.” I scoffed, causing Lana to let out a giggle. “C’mon, this is gonna be fun- the three of us together again, Sparrow doing a shitty job of telling the future, Lana by my side, no Morrigan…” Alistair gave us both a wide smile. “Best mission I’ve been on in a while if I do say so myself.”</p><p>Lana tried to suppress her laughter, then turned to Varric. “And now you know what traveling during the blight was like,” she said with a grin. “It’s a miracle we survived at all.” Then she paused, shrugging her shoulders. “Well, that they survived, at least- I’m surprised I didn’t murder the two of them.”</p><p>Varric just shook his head. “I thought traveling with your cousin was bad enough- leave it to you to top him, Hero.” He looked around the foggy camp and shuddered. “For once, couldn't people go and get kidnapped someplace warm and dry?”</p><p>“Amen to that,” I replied, then I crossed my arms across my chest. “I want to get this done as soon as possible- this place looks like we’re about to have starring roles in a Thedas production of Night of the Living Dead.”</p><p>“Funny you should say ‘living dead’,” Scout Harding said from behind us, “because that’s what one of our troops said he saw coming up from the lake. I thought he was exaggerating, though- it seems I should’ve taken him a bit more seriously.”</p><p>I glared at Harding, shivering in the chilly air while Varric chuckled. “You think?” </p><p>Harding smiled back at me. “I gotta say, I missed you guys out here- having you two around means that things never get too boring, that’s for sure.”</p><p>“I’m so glad we entertain you,” I replied to the dwarven scout, rubbing my arms in a fruitless effort to get warm. “Any chance you could be amused someplace drier next time?” </p><p>“I’ll take it under advisement,” she replied with a grin as she headed off toward the requisitions area, “I’m sure the bad guys would love a change of venue, too.” </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>Stabby,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You suck. You suck so fucking hard I’m surprised your name isn’t Hoover. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Storm Coast: I’m the wettest and most miserable location in all of Thedas.</em><br/>
<em>Fallow Mire: Hold my beer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Seriously? I cannot believe you made me come out here! The Fallow Mire is like the goddamn Storm Coast on steroids, you bastards. Not only is it wetter than a motherfucker, but there are also ZOMBIES RISING FROM THE LAKE WHEN YOU TOUCH THE WATER. This is not a Thriller video, people- someone needs to get the goddamn memo that the dead are not supposed to try to eat the living! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Did I not stress that enough? Y’all got me out here in a goddamn horror movie- Cheesy’s dumb ass saw something shiny and knocked me into the water trying to get it, only to send a legion of the fucking undead swarming at us like we rang the dinner bell! Look, I didn’t like them in Redcliffe and their soggy ass cousins aren’t making things any better, so do me a solid and check to make sure our favorite possessed mage is still in his room, would you? At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if he used this shithole as a vacation spot and fucked things up out here, too. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Anyway, we smoked the dude who napped our homies and got ourselves another missionary- dude is big as hell, yo. Sending everyone back to Kansas and setting up an Airbnb here- I guarantee that this property is never going to get a four-star rating, but hey, it’s a fixer-upper, right? At any rate, the Hellmouths bird-boy created are all closed- you’re welcome. I expect payment in chocolates and coffee upon my return. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Also, since traveling on the ground is like playing zombie hot potato, we started securing the bridges. What did we find? Let’s see- creepy elven writing with strange AF green fire that releases an assload of demons? Check! Though it’s way outside of our job descriptions, we took care of that pesky demon infestation for you- you’re also welcome. If anyone decides to be stupid and wants to go for a swim, it's now on them if they get eaten- I did my part and Darwinism is real. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Just when I thought we had enough fuckshit on our plate, we find Bogshit Betty out here trying to make the world's deadliest poison or something- bitch could’ve just saved herself some time and had Cheesy make a few meals- it would’ve been just as shitty for everyone. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I swear to god, this whole world is insane- what the hell is in the water out here? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, I know- ZOMBIES.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fuck you all very much, I'm not speaking to any of you when I get home. Also, vaseline deserves sainthood status- just saying.</em><br/>
<em>Sparrow</em>
</p><p>—<br/>
Trying to keep his laughter in check, Cullen turned to the other women in the room, who looked like they were struggling to compose themselves. “Do you think we should have just let her stay home?” Cullen asked, biting his lip to keep his laughter at bay. “It seems like she had a miserable trip.”</p><p>“While that may be true, I don’t feel bad in the slightest,” Leliana said, her cheeks red from laughing. “After the horror show of Haven, maker knows I needed this. I’m sad Sam is so uncomfortable, but she has earned it- when she traveled with us, she never had to spend a single night at camp. Besides, she got to take hot baths whenever she wanted- turnabout is fair play, no?”</p><p>“You certainly have a point,” Cullen replied. “At any rate, I think she may try to murder us if we send her there again.”</p><p>“Meh,” Leli said with a shrug, wiping her eyes as she put away the letter. “It would be worth it."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. The Herald's Rest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After the Fallow Mire, everyone needs a minute</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>When we arrived home, I let out a sigh of relief. “You know, I sure hate leaving,” I said, spying Cullen as he waited for us at the entrance of Skyhold, “but I have to admit, I love coming home.”</p><p>“Finally calling it home, I see,” Lana whispered, squeezing my hand. “I must say, I'm glad to hear it.” </p><p>I shrugged, rolling my stiff neck. “My family is here… it just makes sense. Especially since now that Ali’s back,” I replied, looking at the warden walking ahead of us with Dorian. “I have no idea how he does it, but I swear, that man makes himself at home wherever he goes.”</p><p>“It isn’t the worst thing,” Lana said quietly, staring at the two men who had gone over to greet the Commander. “For the first time, I feel like I have everything, Sam- I’ve got you, the love of my life, friends, a family…” she trailed off, chuckling to herself as she watched Ali and Cullen laughing over something. “And... I’m scared,” she admitted. “It seems like I can be happy despite all the things we must do… and that frightens me.”</p><p>In response, I threw my arm around her waist and leaned my head on her side. “I get it,” I replied. “But sometimes we just gotta take the win, Lana Banana. You were given a second chance,” I said slowly, trying to tamper the resentment in my chest that popped up every time I thought about the reason why she left, “so use it- be happy.”</p><p>Lana, however, wasn’t fooled- this was my sister and she knew me better than anyone in Thedas, even my husband. “Can you ever forgive me?” Lana asked quietly. “Sam, you must know I never wanted to hurt anyone… I just wanted to do what was right.”</p><p>“I know,” I replied with a sigh. “And I do forgive you,” I said, squeezing her hand. “It’s just <em>hard</em>, you know? I lost you for so long… and even though I know it's stupid, I’m a little jealous too.”</p><p>“Of what?” Lana asked curiously. </p><p>“The other me,” I said sheepishly. “She got to have you with her when I was crying for you almost every night…" I felt myself tearing up so I wiped my eyes, giving her a shaky smile instead. "I would’ve given the world to have you with me again, Lana Banana.”</p><p>For a moment, Lana didn’t say a word- she just held me, ignoring the others that passed us to head inside. Finally, she sighed, looking over at me with a sad smile, “You did,” she said as she hugged me. “You left your world to find me, and that is something I can never repay you for.”  </p><p>“You never have to,” I said. “You’re family, Lana- no matter what you do and no matter how mad I get… I’m always gonna have your back.” </p><p>“I know,” she replied, staring off into the distance. “Just as I always have yours, dear sister.”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>After checking his secret spot and finding the message, Varric decided he needed a minute. If all went as he thought it would, it was going to be a while before he got a moment of silence, and that was assuming he still <em>had</em> a head after Cassandra got ahold of him. The Seeker had softened slightly over the past few weeks, but Varric knew better- she was just as deadly as ever, and no amount of laughter with the others was going to change that. The dwarf knew he was already on her shit list for hiding Sparrow from her, and this was just going to be the icing on the cake- he’d have to hope that Curly would be able to keep the Seeker from murdering him before she heard what they had to say. <em>I need a drink</em>, he thought.<em> Or two. Or three.</em></p><p>Exhausted, he headed over the tavern, which had now been dubbed the Herald’s Rest. To Varric’s surprise, the place was shaping up rather nicely- <em>a few more finishing touches and this place might even rival the Hanged Man one day</em>. As he grabbed his drink and looked around the crowded building, he noticed Bull drinking a mug of ale and laughing with the Chargers in the corner. However, as much as he enjoyed a good story, the dwarf just wanted a moment to himself- instead of going over, he gave the Charger captain a wave and headed upstairs, happy to get away from the noise for a bit. Exhausted, he leaned against the railing and sighed, only to find the strange boy sitting in a corner by himself. </p><p>His need to be alone overridden by a sense of concern for the young man, Varric made his way over to Cole. “You alright, kid?” </p><p>Surprised, Cole looked up and blinked, almost as if he was seeing the dwarf for the first time. “You can see me?”</p><p>Looking around to see if Sera had put the boy up to such a strange question and not finding the cheeky elf anywhere, he just nodded. “Yep,” he said simply, sitting down next to him. “How are you doing? Haven’t seen you around much, kid.”</p><p>“I’ve been helping,” he said in that dreamlike manner he often used. “There’s so much hurt… I help, ease the pain.”</p><p>“I guess that’s good,” Varric said carefully, not quite sure what Cole’s help might entail but choosing not to question it. “But that’s not what I asked you.” When Cole gave him a blank look, he smiled. <em>Not that much different from talking with Daisy</em>, Varric thought. <em>Just a little quieter, is all.</em>  “I wanted to know how you felt- we’ve had a lot going on lately, and I haven’t gotten the chance to talk to you.”</p><p>“Why would you want to talk to me?” Suddenly, Cole’s face twisted into a sneer- at first, Varric was startled, then he realized Cole was doing that thing where he started voicing what someone else was thinking. “Abomination, shouldn’t be here- Should banish him to the Fade and be done with it.” Then he gave Varric a sad smile. “She wants me gone, but he knows I want to help. I want to <em>help</em>,” he said frantically, wringing his hands. “I’m helping- I ease the hurt and they forget about me.” </p><p>Varric patted the boy on the leg, causing Cole to look at him curiously- the dwarf just smiled. “Kid, I know you want to help. Who wants you gone? Was it Lana?” </p><p>Cole shook his head. “She's made of ice, iron, and steel. Unyielding, she will not bend or break,” Varric groaned, but Cole continued. “Hates the others because they are different, but wants them to need her.” He cocked his head, then looked down, closing his eyes. “I don’t know how to help her.” </p><p>“Vivienne… is a special case, so don’t take it personally. If it helps, <em>I</em> want you around,” he said with a smile, causing Cole to look up at him eagerly. “And if you’re willing, I could use a little help.” When he said that, Cole looked like he’d just been given the biggest cinnamon bun ever, and Varric had to bite back a laugh. “Can you tell me about what’s happened around here while we were gone?” He turned to the boy and gave him his full attention, vowing to spend a little more time with Cole so he wouldn’t get lost in the shuffle. “I’ve been hearing some weird shit around here, but I think you might be able to shed some light on things for me.” </p><p>"I can," Cole replied seriously, then gave the dwarf a big smile as his large hat flopped over his face. "I'd like to help."</p><p>His eager expression made Varric smile in return, and instantly the dwarf felt better- whether he meant to or not, being around Cole certainly had made him feel better. “Well,” the dwarf said, rubbing his hands together. “You know anything about some missing cheese and mint, kid?"</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Cullen knew something was up when Sam and Alistair walked off, faces scrunched in concentration as they ’talked’ amongst themselves. Resigned to not knowing what was going on and happy that no mayhem had broken out, he shook his head. Just as he was about to head off toward the training grounds, he heard a loud sigh from behind him. When he turned around, the commander noticed the Altus staring sadly at his friends and smiled, knowing exactly how it felt to be left out when those two got started on one of their benders. </p><p>“They certainly do that a lot, don’t they,” Cullen remarked casually, crossing his arms and standing next to Dorian. “Though it’s quite rude, I can assure you that they don’t mean anything by it."</p><p>“Rude is an understatement,” Dorian agreed. “If I actually cared about what they were talking about, I might be very put out.”</p><p>The Commander fought to hide a smile, knowing that the mage cared more than he wanted to admit- since his arrival in Haven, Dorian and Sam tended to be in each other’s orbit most days, gossiping and drinking together while Cullen worked.  The arrival of Ali had done nothing to slow this down- in fact, their duo had quickly become a trio, with Sera often joining as she saw fit. No matter how unintentional, the two old friends excluding him had to sting a little, so Cullen decided he could take a moment and talk with the Tevene- once upon a time, he’d filled the role of the outsider in their group, and he could easily sympathize with his current position. </p><p>“By the way,” he remarked casually, “I had some free time and fixed those rickety steps- it wouldn’t do to have any of you becoming too inebriated and crashing through the stairwell.” Feeling the eyes of the Altus on him, Cullen smiled. “I figured it was the least I could do for the two men who saved my wife’s life.”</p><p>Dorian shifted his weight from foot to foot, uncharacteristically silent for once. “Yes, well,” he said with a slight stammer, “we could hardly have had an Inquisition if our two figureheads froze to death, now could we?” </p><p>“I suppose not,” Cullen replied, walking toward the garden and shaking his head. “Those two look like they might be a while,” he remarked as he shot a glance at his wife, who gave him a bright wave. “That's unfortunate- I was actually looking forward to challenging Alistair to a game of chess this evening.”</p><p>“What, not interested in playing with your wife?” Dorian asked, following him and looking around the garden in surprise- the level of cleanup that had occurred since they had been here last was quite remarkable. “Sam seems like she’d be an interesting opponent.”</p><p>Chuckling, Cullen sat down at the chess game he’d set up earlier. “Hardly- it’s bloody impossible to play anything but a game of chance with her- she can see every decision you make, remember? I had to stop her and Varric from fleecing people at Wicked Grace- the way they played was practically criminal.” </p><p>The mage let out a laugh. “Somehow, that does not surprise me in the least.” Then he stared at Cullen, crossing his arms. “Don’t tell me you’re about to play by yourself?” </p><p>Cullen shrugged as he arranged the pieces on the board, not even looking up. “It wouldn’t be the first time,” he admitted. “I don’t mind- it relaxes me.” </p><p>“How dreadfully boring,” Dorian scoffed, pulling up the other chair and settling in it. “If this is how you plan to spend your free time, then I simply cannot allow the commander of our forces to look like a friendless cad.” He leaned over the board, his dark eyes sparkling with excitement. “I do hope you’re at least somewhat good, otherwise I may have been better off letting you play alone.”</p><p>“Oh, I do alright,” Cullen replied, giving the mage a genuine smile as he tented his fingers. “Well, then… shall we play, Dorian?” </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>After speaking with Leliana and confirming some of the items from Sam’s report, Lana headed off to her quarters for a much-needed bath and a moment to herself. Stripping off her clothes, Lana let out a sigh of relief as she stepped into the tub- the warm water surrounding her was soothing, slowly ebbing the stresses of her travels away. Though her language was colorful, her sister hadn’t really exaggerated in the report- the Fallow Mire was trying, causing her to have flashbacks to their time in Redcliffe. More than once she would catch Sam in combat with an undead creature and feel her heart stop, remembering the aftermath of that battle and the toll it had taken on the girl. Luckily, they’d combined and taken out swaths of the monsters at once, but the effects of such magic were draining, leaving Lana exhausted by the time they'd arrived home. For all her stoicism during their travels, she was quite happy to take a moment and bask in the peace and quiet of her room. </p><p>Just as she was starting to dose off in the water, she heard the heavy footfalls approaching and Lana smiled as Alistair entered the room they now shared. From the other side of the screen, she could hear him taking off his boots and had to suppress a giggle when she heard a crash. The giggle ended up escaping her lips as he let out a string of colorful curses, and after taking a second to compose herself, she called out into the room. “Everything alright?”</p><p>“No!” Alistair replied quickly. “Blasted boots and bloody armor getting stuck-“ then he paused. “Are you in the bath?”</p><p>“I am.”</p><p>There was another pause, then she heard the sounds of items hitting the floor. “Can I join you?” </p><p>“I’d be rather put out if you didn’t,” Lana replied, leaning over the edge and smiling at the sight of her beloved emerging from behind the screen. When he’d settled behind her, she let out a soft sigh and rested her head against his chest. “Now my day is complete,” she said happily as her red hair began to turn auburn from the shifting water.</p><p>“Would you like me to wash this for you,” Alistair asked, lifting some of the wet tendrils with his fingers. When she nodded, he began to run his hands through her hair. “I imagine you could use someone taking care of you for once.”</p><p>She closed her eyes, savoring the sensation as she leaned over to the locked box she kept next to her bath and handed him the shampoo Sam had given her. Confused, he looked at the tiny bottle with the writing he couldn’t read. “What’s this?”</p><p>“Shampoo,” she replied. “Mom gave them to us, so we may as well use it.” Lana looked over her shoulder at Alistair, a grin creeping across her face. “It smells amazing.” </p><p>“Right now, not smelling like dirt and death is amazing,” he replied as she poured some of the liquid into his hand and guided his palms to her hair, working up a lather and causing her to practically chirp with happiness. “Mmmm,” he murmured while breathing in the floral scent, “As usual, you’re right- this smells wonderful. Of course,” he said as he placed a kiss on her cheek, “it could just be that it’s you.” </p><p>For the next few moments, they didn’t speak- the two of them just sat in silence as he finished washing her hair. Lana sighed at the gentle sensation of the suds running down her back as he rinsed her hair and he scrubbed her clean, filling the room with the warm floral scent of the shampoo and soaps. Desiring nothing more than to run her hands through his hair, she shifted to face him, resting on her knees as he silently pressed his head to her bosom, making Lana's lower lip quiver. They rarely had moments like these, and for the first time since they'd reunited there was nothing to stop them from simply enjoying each other's presence- taking a moment to enjoy him resting contentedly against her, Lana slowly washed his hair, memorizing the feel beneath her fingers and being soothed by the rhythmic sounds of his breathing. </p><p>When she began to scrub his back, Alistair rested his head on her shoulder, wrapping his strong arms around her. “I’ve missed you so much, my love."</p><p>“As I you,” Lana replied, relishing in the warmth of his body and the feel of his skin on hers. “Is this real, Ali?” He tilted his face to hers and her eyes searched him, finding nothing but happiness there. "Do we finally get our chance?”</p><p>He smiled, running his hands through her wet hair. “I’d say the world owes us at least this much, Lana.” Finally clean, he stood up, extending his hand to her as he stepped out of the bath, handing her a towel. “And this time I fully intend to collect.”</p><p>Pausing, Lana turned to look at him with a quizzical expression, sure her heart was thumping so loud he could hear it as she draped the towel around her. “What are you saying, Ali?”</p><p>Toweling off and drying his hair, Alistair gave her a sheepish grin as he wrapped the towel around his waist. “I’ve always been shit for timing, Lana.” He walked out into the room, leaving a stunned Lana behind, running a hand over her hair and drying it absentmindedly as she heard rustling outside. “But maybe that’s just our way,” he said from the other side of the screen.</p><p>Stepping out into the room, Lana gasped when she saw Ali on one knee, a glittering ring in his hand. “I’ve been waiting ten years to do this,” he said, slipping the ring on her finger as she approached him, moving as if by instinct. “I don’t care about where we are, what we look like, or anything else just as stupid. So Lana,” he said, his voice shaking as he stared up at her,  “will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” </p><p>Lana turned bright red, clapping her hand to her mouth and nodding furiously, not trusting herself to speak. Finally, the lump in her throat loosened and she opened her mouth, hoping her voice would at least be audible. “Ali,” she croaked, “I would love nothing more.” </p><p>At that he stood up, clutching her in his arms and whirling her around in a circle, letting out a peal of laughter. “So that’s a yes?” When she nodded again, he gave a small whoop and kissed her, taking the small breath she had left away and leaving her grinning like an idiot. “Maker, I am now the happiest man in all of Thedas!” Then he looked down at the two of them in their towels and let out another laugh. “But when we tell the others, we’re going to pretend we were dressed when all this happened, ok?”</p><p>Lana laughed and nodded, wrapping her hands around his neck. “Your secret is safe with me, husband of mine.”</p><p>“Husband, huh?” He kissed her softly and she smiled, feeling the cool droplets of water from his hair as he rested against her forehead. “I believe I could get used to that, love."</p><p>"I certainly hope so," she replied happily, "because I plan on saying it for the rest of our lives."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>3 of my favorite relationships in one chapter? If this keeps up, I just might swoon.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. It's popcorn time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Judgment, letters, and the arrival of an old friend make for an interesting day at Skyhold</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>“Rutherford!” Alistair sang, throwing open the door to Cullen’s quarters, “I’ve got news!”</p><p>Looking up from the pile of papers on his desk, Cullen scowled at his friend. As Alistair grinned at him, Cullen put his hand to his temples and tried to debate if he should go find another one of Sam's tablets to help his headache- he’d been up for hours dealing with bouts of nausea and pain, so he’d gotten up and taken some pills, water, and fruit from her pack to relieve his maladies. She’d undoubtedly notice the missing items when she awoke, but getting even a modicum of relief now would be worth the potential chiding she’d give him later. </p><p>Ultimately, he decided to go without the additional medicine and engage with the very energetic warden in front of him, lowering his hands to staring at Alistair. “Might I inquire as to what has you so chipper at this early hour… while your sister is still asleep upstairs?”</p><p>Alistair gave a bright laugh. “Sam could sleep through a battle and you know it. I, on the other hand, come bearing news that I figured I should share with family first.”</p><p>“Oh?” Cullen asked as he leaned back in his chair, slightly intrigued. “I suppose this must be fairly important to get you here even before training.”</p><p>“Definitely,” he replied, plopping himself in the chair across from Cullen and putting his feet up on the desk. “I,” he said proudly, “am engaged!” </p><p>It was Cullen’s turn to laugh. “Well, I suppose that is important news- so much so that I won’t hit you for placing your horrible boots on my workspace.” He smiled, then leaned over to shake his hand. “Congratulations, Alistair- Lana is a lucky woman.” Then he chuckled to himself, shaking his head. “At least now I won’t be the only one Sam’s father hates.” </p><p>“I’m afraid the title of worst son-in-law is still yours, dear brother,” Alistair said with a laugh, tossing him a letter. “Contrary to popular belief, I am a tiny bit smarter than you sometimes.”</p><p>In response, Cullen gave him another scowl, which only deepened once he began to read the letter the Warden tossed him. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Alistair,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I have to say, I’m impressed- I was a little surprised to get your letter, but I was pleased to see you took the time to actually ask us for permission instead of being like that idiot son-in-law of mine. When it comes time to have the ceremony, send word to Nia and we‘ll see what we can do- I’d love to be at the wedding of at least one of my damn daughters. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>In return, all I ask is that you be careful with her- she’s more fragile than she seems. I understand better than most what it’s like to come back to a world that’s different from what you remember, and it’s not something you get over all that easily. Even if she won’t say it, she needs you to be there for her- don’t let her tell you otherwise. So, if you think you can be there through everything and stand by her through the hard decisions she’s going to have to make without making things worse for her, I’m more than happy to give you my approval.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Welcome to the family, Theirin- maybe you can show Rutherford a thing or two on how to do things properly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>-your future father-in-law,</em><br/>
<em>Dean</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“This has to be a mistake,” Cullen growled, tossing the letter back at the smirking warden. “Someone else wrote this- her father has never been this nice.”</p><p>“It’s real,” Alistair said happily, stuffing the letter back in his pocket. “You’re just mad that I’m the better son-in-law, Rutherford. Finally,” he said with happiness, “I’m the good one and you’re the fuck up- I’m thinking I should get Varric to immortalize this moment in print.”</p><p>“Some days I wonder why I even talk to you,” Cullen grumbled, shoving Alistair’s feet off his desk and getting to his feet. “Since you’re so perfect, you can show everyone how to run laps this morning for drills.”</p><p>Alistair stood up and saluted, giving the Commander a wink. “I figured the black sheep of the family would strike back at the golden boy sooner or later.” He gave Cullen a deep bow, causing his friend to laugh and clap him on the back, despite his irritation over the letter. “Well, no sense in dawdling- there are troops to bless with my shining example.” </p><p>He pointed to the door, marching to the entrance and holding the door open for Cullen, his eyes glinting with amusement while Cullen shook his head, his aches momentarily forgotten. “After you, Commander.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>As Lana sat on the ornate throne, she blinked when Josie brought her the first criminal for sentencing. “Can you please… <em>repeat</em> that for me? I’m quite certain I misheard you, Lady Montilyet.” </p><p>Josie shook her head, then turned to look at the gigantic Avvar man shackled in front of them. “I’m afraid not, Inquisitor. You see, this man… was found outside after you returned from the bogs.”</p><p>Lana nodded slowly as she turned to Sam, who was biting her lip as she tried to look solemn but failing miserably.  Sighing, she turned back to the ambassador. “And I believe I heard you say he was attacking the building?”</p><p>Josie looked down, trying not to laugh. “Yes, I did,” she replied slowly. "We discovered this man attacking... the building...with a...goat.”</p><p>Unable to reconcile the words her friend was saying with anything remotely rational, she put her head in her hands. “That’s what I thought you said,” she mumbled before looking at Sam again, who was now turned around to avoid the crowd as she shook with laughter. <em>Sam</em>, she said wearily as the prisoner began to remark on why launching goats at the walls was a reasonable action to take,<em> I can not- I simply cannot with this.</em></p><p>Still turned around, Sam replied in her head. <em>Well, looks like you have to, your Inquisitorness. Assault by goat,</em> she chuckled,<em> that’s certainly a new one. I wonder if Grace ever heard something like that in court. </em></p><p><em>Sam!</em> Lana hissed, trying to not roll her eyes in public, <em>what am I supposed to do about goats? No one said anything about goats, Sam!</em></p><p><em>Fuck this,</em> Sam said as she froze the room, then turned to Lana. “You know I can’t help with anything you don’t decide, Lana Banana.”</p><p>“I know,” she said, folding her hands in her lap. “It’s just... I fight things. I seal rifts. But this,” she said, waving her hand at the prisoner, “is beyond my realm of expertise. I’m not diplomatic, I’m blunt. What if I say the wrong thing and start a war with his people, Sam?”</p><p>“You won’t,” Sam replied with a smile. “I’ve stopped time and you have a moment, so just breathe, sis,” she said softly as she put a hand on her shoulder. “No matter what, you’ll be fine. Use this time to weigh your options.”</p><p>Grateful for her sister being the voice of reason for once, Lana nodded. “Okay,” she said shakily, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, “he said his idiot son was supposed to go to Tevinter...”</p><p>“So…” Sam said, tapping her cheek with her finger, “maybe we should send him there… have him round up his crew and get the fuck outta our airspace.” </p><p>“Well,” Lana replied, a plan forming in her head as she smiled at her sister. “What would happen if I decided to send him and his clan there... with as much as they can carry?” </p><p>Sam paused, then smiled. "Not only did you just find your answer, but I think you're about to gain an agent, Lana Banana.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>I was sitting on the battlements, shaking my head as I watched a very happy Avvar stroll out of the gates when I heard a throat clear behind me, causing me to jump. Startled, I turned around and saw Varric strolling up and looking around as if he were checking to see if we were alone. "Something you need, my dude?"</p><p>“Nah,” Varric said casually, leaning against the wall. “See anything interesting lately, Sparrow?”</p><p>“Just a man tossing goats that’s now Tevinter’s problem,” I replied cheekily, watching as the workers tried to retrieve a very confused goat from the ramparts. “Hmmm… I wonder what Dorian’s going to think about that.”</p><p>“Problems for another day,” Varric replied with a smile. “At any rate, you busy? Feel like taking a walk with me?”</p><p>“Why not?” I shrugged, then turned to the dwarf. “I’ve got nothing else to do for a few hours since we all know my husband is going to be working till he can’t see straight- may as well do something fun.”</p><p>“Well, I don’t know how much fun it’s going to be,” Varric said carefully, looking over his shoulder. “But I think I’d like to get your opinion on something before I talk to other folks.”</p><p>As we walked, I tried to check his threads, but everything was swirling- nothing was settling in place and I frowned as I watched the storyteller carefully. “Are you not deciding things on purpose, Varric?"</p><p>He didn’t miss a beat as he guided me to the other side of the ramparts, still not focusing on one thing. “Yep. Curly taught me that trick- kinda useful, actually.”</p><p>“Which doesn’t bode well for this,” I said casually as we rounded the corner. “Usually when people do things like that, it’s because-“</p><p>“Hello, cousin,” a voice interrupted that caused me to stop dead in my tracks. “How've you been? I must say, you’re looking decidedly more Ferelden these days, Sparrow.”</p><p>“You,” I growled, balling my fists at the dark-haired rogue who was standing in front of me and grinning as if we’d just been drinking at the Hanged Man together, “are the absolute last person I want to see, Hawke.”</p><p>“Oh come on,” he said, ignoring the murderous look on my face as he enveloped me in a bone-crushing hug. “You can’t be like that, Sam- we’re family. Besides, I’ve missed you and Curly- it’s been a long time.”</p><p>Trying to get away from him and failing, I scowled. “Yeah, well that’s what happens when you run off with the asshole that started a war, you dumb motherfucker!” I tried to push away but he wouldn’t let me, holding me even tighter. “I vouched for that sonofabitch! I fought with you to save your goddamn town and then you fucking left us all to go chase after him!” I felt tears welling behind my eyes and started beating him with my fists, but Hawke didn’t flinch. “I <em>trusted</em> you, Hawke!"</p><p>Despite my assault on his person, Hawke didn’t release me. Instead, he stroked my hair and waited until I relented, finally wrapping my arms around his waist. “Sparrow,” he said in an uncharacteristically gentle tone, “if it were you and your husband, what would you have done?” </p><p>“I… I… <em>not that</em>!” I said loudly, finally pushing away and wiping my eyes. “You fucking Amell bastards,” I growled. “You’re all the same- you don’t give a shit who you hurt as long as you get to do what you think is right and I’m <em>sick of it!</em>” </p><p>“Sparrow,” Varric said quietly, “while I don’t agree with what Blondie did at all, don’t you think you might be yelling at the wrong person?” He reached over and carefully placed a hand on my arm. “No one was stopping you from reaching out to him, kid.”</p><p>“He chose Anders over all of us,” I spat as I glared at Hawke. “The man who almost got him and Bethany killed was more important than his friends and family.”</p><p>Turning to look out over the courtyard, Hawke let out a long sigh. “Everyone else except you understood,” he said sadly. “You’re the only one still mad at me, Sparrow.” I started to twist my mouth to say something, but he cut me off. “And before you ask about your husband, think on it for a moment- how do you think we got out of the city?”</p><p>At that, my mouth opened and closed a few times, but no words came out. Every time I tried to say something, the words would just fade on the air and eventually, I turned away from them, shoving my hands in my pockets. “What did you want to ask me, Varric,” I said plainly, ignoring Hawke for the moment. “I’ve got things to do.” </p><p>I could hear Varric shuffling behind me and I sighed, turning around to give him an irritated look. “Sparrow, I’m sorry to spring this on you, but I've- <em>we’ve </em>got a story to tell you two… and considering what happened at Haven, I’d say it’s pretty damn relevant.” He glanced at Hawke, who nodded. “Look, can you do your freaky weird thing and get Hero and Curly together? We’re gonna need some privacy and if I’m being honest, we’ll probably need some drinks.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>It had been a very long and exhausting day- all Lana wanted to do was retire to her quarters and curl up with Alistair. But when she trudged up the stairs and opened her door, instead of just finding her fiancé waiting for her, she found a slew of people- Sam, Varric, Cullen, and a man she didn’t recognize were all in her room, while Alistair was waiting for her by the door. </p><p>“Love,” he said nervously, glancing between the others, “it appears we all need to have a chat.” Looking around the room, he squeezed her hand. “But I would highly suggest you cast a silence spell- I’d prefer if the entire stronghold not hear about this right now."</p><p>Lana cast the spell and turned to her sister, who looked positively furious with every person in the room. “What’s going on, Sam?” </p><p>“This is our cousin, Hawke,” she said flatly. “He’s here to help his boyfriend- I mean us,” she said irritably. “I thought he might actually be here to help his family, but...” Sam got a fake smile on her face, then tossed her hands in the air. "Naive old Sam, that’s me!" </p><p>“Oh come off it!” Hawke said angrily. “It’s both, you bloody git! How do you think I know as much as I do? Not everyone can see the future like you, you moron!”</p><p>Sam shot up from her seat and tried to poke the man in his chest- at that, Cullen got up and pulled her over to the other side of the room. Locked in his arms, she scowled. “If you bothered to remember anything, you’d know I <em>don’t</em> see the future, you selfish old fucktard!” </p><p>Alistair looked at Lana, who was watching the two of them in amazement. “And this has been going on since I got in here,” he said grimly. “It seems your sister and cousin are not on the best of terms right now.”</p><p>“Understatement,” Sam growled from her corner of the room, then glared at Hawke. “Start talking or I’m walking, asshole.”</p><p>Hawke rolled his eyes at her and turned to Lana, giving her a bright smile. “My apologies,” he said cheerily. “You seem to have caught the two of us in yet another spat.” He extended a hand to Lana, ignoring the huff from Sam behind him. “Garrett Hawke, your cousin and the Champion of Kirkwall, at your service. Also a dashingly handsome rogue and normally an all-around delight to have around, but that goes without saying.”  As he shook her hand, Hawke gave her a look. “I must admit, you’re quite sprightly for a dead woman, dear cousin.”</p><p>“And considering you ran off with the man who started a war, you’re quite an ass,” Lana replied sweetly, earning her a smile from Sam. “But I digress- Solana Amell-Roberts, Hero of Ferelden and Inquisitor,” she said kindly. “It’s nice to meet you, cousin."</p><p>“Don’t forget Herald of Andraste,” Sam teased. “You know everyone loves that one around here.”</p><p>“Just as they love the Savior of the Inquisition,” Lana retorted. “I’d prefer to leave off the meaningless titles if you please.”</p><p>“Course,” Sam replied, reaching in her pack and pulling out her cookies and turning to Hawke. “So, now that we’ve had our family reunion, how about you get to the part about how you’re here to-“ she clasped her hands to her chest and fluttered her eyelids, “-save the love of your life… who started this entire fuckshow.”</p><p>“Sam,” he replied, putting his hands on his hips, “could you try to be reasonable for a minute? I’m here… out of hiding… and in the thick of the Inquisition. Don’t you think there’s a damn good reason for me to be here? Don’t you even want to hear it?” In response, Sam rolled her eyes and Hawke let out an exasperated huff. “For fuck’s sake, could you stop being a brat for a moment and just talk to me, please?” </p><p>“Enough, Sam,” Lana said tersely. “From this moment on, the past will remain in the past. Though I will admit,” she said slowly, “I am curious as to why you showed up now, Hawke.”</p><p>“To start, Varric invited me,” he replied, turning to the dwarf. “Said it sounds like we have a mutual friend- ghoulish, bird-like fellow who fancies becoming a god? Goes by Corypheus?” He looked around the room, his expression looking far more serious than his tone implied. “Well, there's a funny thing about that bloke- we killed him a few years back. Seeing as how he’s supposed to be dead, I thought it kind of odd to hear he paid a visit to your town.”</p><p>At that, Sam straightened up. “Wait, what? You killed him?” Hawke nodded and she frowned, chewing her bottom lip. “I don’t know about you, Lana Banana, but he looked pretty damn alive to me. Ugly than a motherfucker, yes, but quite fucking alive.”</p><p>Alistair walked over, taking a cookie from her bag as he sat next to them. “And that’s not the worst of it, Lana. Turns out Anders is hearing the false calling… just like I was.”</p><p>“So,” Sam said thoughtfully, her ire at the rogue temporarily forgotten. “You think what’s going on with your boo thang and bird-brain are connected?” She turned to Ali as she munched on a cookie. “When did you start hearing the Calling?” </p><p>“A few months back,” he admitted. “Thankfully, it stopped when you gave me your charm, Sparrow. And Lana, you never heard it at all, correct?” </p><p>She shook her head. “No, not at all- but remember, I’ve had my locket on since my return.” Absentmindedly, she fingered the charm around her neck. “It seems Mom warded me, for which I am eternally grateful.” </p><p>“Maybe,” Alistair said, looking at Sam. “Or… you just don’t have the taint anymore.” When Lana’s eyes widened, he nodded. “I can’t sense you anymore, love.” Then Alistair looked down, then to Varric, whose eyes began to grow as wide as saucers. “The only one I can sense is-“ </p><p>Varric whirled around to Hawke, his face furious. “You <em>didn’t</em>! Please tell me you weren’t that fucking stupid, Chuckles!” </p><p>Cullen looked at Hawke, who was actively trying to avoid looking at anyone in the room and pretending his shoes were fascinating. “Hawke,” the Commander said calmly, trying to not look at his steaming wife, “is Anders here?”</p><p>Hawke started to say something, but before he could say a word, Alistair piped up. “Yes!” Then he clapped his hand over his mouth and looked down, his expression apologetic. “Sorry, guys, but you know I lie about as well as Sparrow can behave.”</p><p>“That doesn’t mean you have to blab everything you know, you prat!” Hawke said angrily. “He’s trying to hide-“</p><p>“Because he’s a mass murderer!” Cullen exclaimed, turning red in the face and looking for all the world like he was trying his best not to explode in a cloud of fury and rage. “This is all his fault, Hawke!”</p><p>“And I know that,” Hawke said quietly, causing the room to pause for a moment. “Which is why I’m sitting here getting reamed by you lot as I try my damndest to put things right.” He sighed, staring down at his shoes and resting his head in his folded hands. “Look… I’m not going to pretend that sheltering him was right- I know it wasn’t. But I’ll be damned if I get judged by you lot when every single one of you in here would do it for the person they loved.”  </p><p>When no one replied, Hawke got up and moved to the window, suddenly looking a lot older - beneath the dark hair, his hazel eyes were shrouded in dark circles, and his stance looked weary... as if he’d been traveling for days on end with little to no sleep. “At any rate,” he said with a sigh, "I’m here to fight with my cousins. As you once told me, Sam… family comes first.” At that, the rogue crossed the room, placing his hands on Sam's shoulders, his unwavering gaze locked to hers. “And this time, I intend to prove it,” he said quietly as he turned to Lana. “My blades are yours, Solana.” </p><p>“Call me Lana,” she said, crossing the room to extend her hand. “It’s a pleasure to have you with us.” She shot Sam a glance, then gestured to Hawke. <em>Let it go</em>, she thought. <em>If you can forgive me, you can forgive him. </em></p><p>Sam started to scowl, then sighed when she saw the expression on Lana’s face. “Family is family, I suppose.” Then she turned to Lana, pointing angrily. “But this motherfucker is <em>not</em> on Team Mage, you hear me?” </p><p>“Noted,” Lana said with a grin as she took two cookies from Sam's bag and offered one to Hawke. “And with all that taken care of, I’d like to welcome you to the Inquisition.” </p><p>Then Sam offered a smile to the room as she popped one of the confections in her mouth. “So,” she asked brightly, staring sweetly at the rogue, “who’s going to be the one to tell all this to Cassandra and Leliana?”</p><p>“Shit,” Varric said as he looked at Cullen, no doubt running scenarios in his head and not coming up with one where the Seeker and Nightingale wouldn’t want his head on a pike. “I’m a dead man, aren’t I?”</p><p>“Probably so,” Cullen replied seriously as he clapped the dwarf on the arm. “Probably so."</p>
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<a name="section0025"><h2>25. You should've told me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Some issues come to a head and truths have to be revealed</p>
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<hr/><p>I woke up in the morning with a feeling of dread in my gut as I watched my shirtless and drenched husband trying to silently puke his guts up in a nearby bucket. Horrified, I leaped out of bed and raced over to his side, placing my hand on his shoulder. “Cullen, what’s wrong?” I rubbed my hands on his back, trying to ignore the stench coming from the bucket and the fact that I could cook eggs on his bare skin. “Holy shit,” I whispered, “you’re burning up.”</p><p>With one last heave, Cullen hung his head over the bucket, his curls flush to his head with sweat. “I,” he groaned, then heaved in the bucket again, “my apologies for waking you, beloved. I… was not feeling well.”</p><p>“Understatement,” I said as I reached in my bag for a towel and began mopping his face. “You look like garbage, hon- why didn’t you tell me you were sick?”</p><p>“I didn’t want to worry you,” he said as he sat on the floor and rested against the wall. “It’s nothing… really.” </p><p>“Bullshit it’s nothing,” I said, looking at him angrily. “You look like you’re about to jump headfirst into your grave, Cullen.” I sighed, looking at the ceiling. “I’m going to get Lana- I need a mage to help me so I can get you taken care of.”</p><p>At that, his eyes opened wide. “No,” he whispered. “Not Lana- she’s got too much to worry about now. I…” he paused, then closed his eyes again. “I will be fine.” </p><p>“Damn asshole,” I snapped. “Fine… I’ll get someone else. In the meantime,” I grabbed two glasses of water and the toothbrushing supplies. “Brush your teeth and get back into bed after you take two of these,” I told him as I plopped two pills in his hand. “You won’t be a stitch of good for the rest of the morning, but you weren’t exactly going to win any awards for that today anyway.</p><p>He frowned at the pills, then looked at me. “These are different from the ones you give me for my headaches. The symbols are different.”</p><p>“Oh, so that was you in my stash of ibuprofen?” I said with a grin, watching as my husband squirmed from his position on the floor. “Good to know that even in Thedas, I’m gonna need a childproof cap.” When he looked thoroughly dejected, I sighed. “It’s not a big deal- I just wish you’d told me. I might have been able to tell you something different based on everything you’ve got going on. These,” I said as I pointed to the pills in his hand, “are good for fevers and pain. But before you go chugging them like candy, I gotta warn you- they’re a lot stronger than the others, so you never take them unless you aren’t going to be doing anything else. Like now,” I said pointedly. </p><p>“But I have training duties,” he said weakly. “I have to-“</p><p>“Ali can handle it,” I replied firmly. “And Blackwall can also get off his weird little ass and help out too- between the two of them, the troops will be fine.” I thought about it for a moment, then smiled. “If you really want to be annoyed all day, I can loan you Ali’s token- this way, the two of you can communicate… right from this bed. Cause you aren’t moving,” I replied firmly. </p><p>“That won’t work,” he said weakly. “That charm is for you two, not I.”</p><p>“Worked when Lana gave it to him, so I don’t see why it won’t work for you,” I replied with a shrug. “Face it, you and Ali are as close as he and I are- deal with it." I put my hands on my hips and glared at him. "Best I got for you- take it or leave it."</p><p>“I suppose I have to take it,” Cullen said, his tone defeated as he swallowed the pills. "But my reports- they need to be-“</p><p>“Nope,” I retorted. “Cass and I can handle those. She’s got the strategy knowledge and I can verify her decisions." When he gave me a tortured look, I rolled my eyes. "But if it makes you feel better, we can do it up here with you."</p><p>He let out a sigh of relief. "It does, thank you." Then he closed his eyes, sweeping his wet hair from his forehead. "But I am still sorry to leave this at your doorstep, Sam- these are my responsibilities and I should handle them... not my friends."</p><p>"Um, I don’t care if I have to get someone to tie you to the bed, but you are not leaving this room until that fever breaks, Cullen.” When he frowned, I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “Look here, I don’t give a shit how much you pout, how much you protest, or how much you think you don’t need to listen to me. I’m your wife, and when I see my husband looking like he’s about to make me a grieving widow, I take action. So sit your ass down while I go get Dorian and get you a bath together. Once you’ve bathed and this room no longer smells like hot garbage, I’ll call Ali and Cass up here so we can start getting your orders together. Deal?”</p><p>Resigned and finally realizing that it was pointless to argue, Cullen sighed. “Deal.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>After speaking with Sam and Cass, Lana entered the Herald’s Rest, trying to make sense of her day- she was supposed to be leaving for Crestwood, but with Cullen falling ill, her plans had been turned upside down. While she knew she could go without Sam and Alistair, she didn’t want to- they had been part of her traveling party for so long that doing anything else seemed practically unheard of. </p>
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  <p>“Penny for your thoughts, Boss?” Bull’s rumbling voice startled her from her pensive thoughts, and she gave the captain of the Chargers a sheepish smile. “You seem like you’re stuck in your own head over here.”</p>
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  <p>“I suppose I am,” she said thoughtfully. “We’ve got a mission of importance in Crestwood, but Ali, Sam, and Cass are unavailable to accompany me.” She bit her lip, then looked at Bull. “I don’t suppose you’d mind-“ </p>
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  <p>“Wouldn’t mind at all,” he replied, giving her a rather painful slap on the shoulder. “Hey, this might be good for you- give you a chance to see how you work in a new kind of situation.” He guided her over to a chair near Krem, who was in an animated conversation with someone she thought was named Stitches. “That’s how the Chargers work, anyway.” </p>
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  <p>“I’m not sure that I know what you mean," Lana said, taking a seat next to the elf named Dalish who she remembered would steadfastly deny that she was a mage. “I’ve been working in that way so long that I tend to forget how to work with others- contrary to popular belief, I’m not exactly a social person, Bull.”</p>
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  <p>“Meh, you don’t have to be,” Bull said good-naturedly, patting her on the shoulder. “You just gotta know how to work with what you got, and be ready for anything.” He gestured to the crew of people around him and grinned. “Krem knows he’s my right hand,” Bull proclaimed proudly- Lana watched as the young man began to beam with pride. “But when he was a stupid drunk and got himself tangled up in one of Dalish’s weak traps-“</p>
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  <p><em>“Hey!”</em> Dalish replied, looking indignant. “It was a damn good trap!”</p>
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  <p>“You hid it with magic!” Krem yelled, glaring at the elf. “If it had been in the open a bloody child would’ve been able to disarm it!” </p>
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  <p>“I just know how to camouflage things really well! There was no magic involved whatsoever,” she retorted angrily, chugging the last of her ale. “You just don’t want to admit that I did a good job!”</p>
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  <p>“Anyway,” Bull said with a laugh, “while Stitches got Krem back on his feet, Skinner and Rocky took up the mantles, no problem.”</p>
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  <p>Rocky, a dwarf, looked at Skinner and smirked. "Though the elf’s mouth did cost us a few extra coins on our job- right, Grim?”</p>
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  <p>The one called Grim let out a grunt in response while he sipped his ale, and Bull just shook his head with laughter. “That's how we do things over here- we just flow how we need to." He smiled, then raised his mug toward his team. "The Chargers are always ready to be horns up at a moment’s notice, right?”</p>
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  <p>As if they were one, all the Chargers raised their mugs in the air and grinned. “Horns up!”</p>
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  <p>Bull then turned to Lana and winked. “See? Just learn how to go with it- you’ve got a good team all around. No matter what the formation, we’re always gonna support you. Perks of being a good boss,” he said with a smile as he slid her a mug of ale.</p>
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  <p>Looking gratefully at her mug, Lana smiled at the Quinari, feeling much better about her decision than she did before. “Thanks, Bull- I do believe I owe you one.”</p>
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  <p>“I know you’re good for it,” Bull replied, smiling at her over his mug. “I’ll just take my payment when we get on the road.” </p>
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<hr/><p>Cullen sighed as Sam, Alistair, and Dorian came in with pails of water, dumping them into the cask. As much as he wanted to snap at all of them, his body was too weak- the pills that Sam had given him were starting to work and he was finding it difficult to keep his eyes open. While he fought to stay awake, he had to hand it to his wife- no matter what she thought, her talents as a healer were extraordinary.  Despite being fussed over like a small child, he was grateful that he no longer felt like his brain was trying to run out of his ears and his aches and pains were turning into rapidly receding memories. </p><p>“Okay, big guy,” Alistair said quietly, “in you go- we can talk about what you need us to do when you get inside and get cleaned up.”</p><p>“I hardly think I want to take a bath in front of you lot,” Cullen said angrily, trying to steady himself and failing- his friend caught him, holding him upright while Sam undid his breeches. “Sam, for goodness sake, stop!”</p><p>“No, Rutherford, you stop,” Alistair said gently. “I’ve traveled with you for months on end and I’ve been privy to your naked ass more times than I care to admit, so cut the shy crap- everyone here knows you just don’t want us thinking that you’re anything less than a -“ he waved his arms around in exasperation- “…whatever you think you are. So stop being such a prat and get in the blasted tub so we can get out of here!” </p><p>“Fine,” he said grumpily, stepping out of his clothes and settling in the tub. As the water flowed around him he closed his eyes, then let out a sigh of relief when he felt something cool on his forehead. “Maker,” he breathed, “what is that? It feels heavenly.”</p><p>“It’s an ice pack,” Sam replied. “I want your fever to go down as quickly as possible.” Keeping his eyes closed, he could hear his wife rummaging through things, and then he felt the sensation of her scrubbing his scalp with her shampoo. “Plus, you smell horrible, so while I’m doing this Ali is doing me a favor and changing the bed.”</p><p>“And Dorian is sitting here and turning away every git that tries bursting through your door to bother you,” the mage called up from below. “I daresay, being in power rather suits me… or at least this desk does. I’d so look fetching behind a desk, don’t you think?”</p><p>“Don’t mess up my things, Dorian,” Cullen grumbled, trying to fight the lightheadedness that was rapidly approaching him. “Really, there is no need for all this,” he groused, letting out a soft sigh as his wife rinsed his hair and started cleaning him off. “I am more than capable of taking care of myself.”</p><p>“Yes, because you’ve done such a bang-up job at it so far,” Alistair retorted, causing him to open his eyes. “You’re an idiot, Rutherford- you have a beautiful wife willing to help you out while you recover and yet you're over here grousing like Morrigan was the one being forced to do it.” His friend shook his head, then pointed at the Commander. “Just let go for a moment- there are just some battles you won’t win, Rutherford- this is one of them.”</p><p>Alistair’s words made his eyes go wide, and at that moment he felt Sam pause- she’d recognized them too. Swallowing, he nodded, trying to not let the warden know how profound his offhand statement had been. “I suppose you’re right, Alistair- I’m just not used to being fussed over.” </p><p>“None of us are,” his friend replied, keeping his eyes focused on his task. “It’s going to take some time for us to get used to other people giving a shit about what happens to us.” Then Alistair turned to him, his expression kind. “We care about you, Cullen... <em>all</em> of us.” </p><p>Sighing, he stood up, taking the towel from his wife as she helped him dry off and get dressed in his smalls. “And I appreciate it,” he said finally. “But please, don’t let me keep you here- the troops need leadership, Alistair.” </p><p>His friend sighed, helping Sam guide him to the bed. “I have it direct from a very good source that if we decided to start a few minutes later that the world won’t fall apart, Rutherford.” As they got him lying down, Sam pressed the compress on his head again, making Cullen sigh with relief. “But, since I’m now sure you won’t fall over and squash Sparrow, I can head out.” Alistair looked at Sam, then shook his head. “You sure you want to leave your token with him? He’ll never relax if you do.” </p><p>“Trust me,” she said with a smile, kissing Cullen on the forehead. “It’ll work out.” </p><p>“Whatever,” Alistair said with a shrug, then looked thoughtful for a moment. “But before I go… Sparrow, do you mind going to the kitchens and get some soup sent up for this big lug? Plus, you can get Cass and bring her back here.” When Alistair winced, Cullen realized that Lana had probably already talked to her about Hawke’s return- for the first time today, he was immensely glad that he was unable to be present for that conversation. </p><p>Sam frowned and started to protest, but Ali smiled and cut her off. “Don’t worry- Dorian and I will wait here until you get back. He’s gonna be fine, Sparrow.”</p><p>Looking resigned, Sam gave him a curt nod before heading off, leaving the commander alone with Alistair, and after a few beats, Alistair sat on the bed next to Cullen. “Does she know?”</p><p>Cullen looked at him strangely, trying to focus on his breathing and staying awake. “Does she know what?”</p><p>“That you’re in withdrawal,” Dorian said as he looked at him from the doorway with concern. “This isn’t a normal illness, and I shudder to think of what maladies they have in Sam’s world if she thinks otherwise.”</p><p>The commander opened his mouth to protest, but Alistair shot him a look. “Save that for someone else who doesn’t know you and doesn’t know the order, Rutherford- very bad templar, remember? I saw what they did to those templars who got caught stepping out of line- they denied them lyrium.” He swallowed, looking sadly over at his friend. “And they looked like you.” When Cullen didn't immediately respond, Alistair just sat and watched his face carefully. “How long, friend?” </p><p>Defeated, he sighed and closed his eyes. “Since I joined the Inquisition.”</p><p>“And Sam? Lana? Do they know?”</p><p>“No,” he whispered. “Before this, only Varric and Cassandra knew,” he said sadly. “I didn’t want to say anything…”</p><p>“In case you failed,” Dorian finished as he leaned against the wall. Cullen could only nod. “Well, I have news for you, Commander- you're one of the toughest bastards I know. If there is anyone that can do this, it most certainly is you- I have the utmost confidence that you will not fail,” the mage said resolutely. “In fact, I’m sure if you asked your wife, she’d tell you the same thing.” Dorian paused, then walked over to place a hand on Cullen's shoulder. “Wait… is that why you haven’t told her?”</p><p>Once again, Cullen said nothing- he turned his head to the wall, not wanting his friends to see the shame on his face. </p><p>"You don’t want her to tell you that you fail,” Dorian said finally. “Because then all this pain would have been for nothing.” </p><p>“I cannot fail,” he whispered. “But I feel like I am giving the Inquisition less… like I’m giving my wife less than what she deserves.” He balled up his fists, hitting the bed in frustration. “I gave everything to the order,” he hissed. “And now, look at me! I’m a wreck, unfit for command.” He looked up at the ceiling, avoiding the faces of his friends. “I should have Cassandra relieve me… have you take over, Ali- the troops deserve more than this broken man I've become.”</p><p>“Never, Rutherford,” Alistair replied, putting a hand on his arm. “These are your men, through and through. Besides, don’t you remember what happened when I tried to lead? We got lost in the woods and chased by werewolves, remember?” </p><p>Cullen let out a snort as Dorian sat next to them, squeezing his arm. “This doesn’t make you weak, Cullen- it’s the opposite,” the mage said firmly. "You’re doing what your Chantry says is impossible, and you’ve got a veritable slew of people that give a shit if you live or die,” he said pointedly, giving him a look so stern that it made him squirm. “Give us a chance to help you.” </p><p>“We’re family,” Alistair said as he stared at the commander, his face serious for once. “No matter what, we go through this together, Rutherford.”</p><p>“Agreed,” Dorian affirmed. “I'd be an absolute ass to leave a beautiful man such as yourself to suffer alone.” When Cullen and Alistair chuckled, Dorian smiled at the two of them, standing up with a flourish. “And with that, I believe we have all had enough of this maudlin conversation.” </p><p>“I’d say,” a voice said from the other side of the room. At the sound, the three men jumped, turning guiltily to the small brunette standing with the bowl of soup, her green eyes looking sadder than they’d ever seen them. Ali started to say something, but she cut him off. “No,” she said firmly, sitting the soup down on the table and staring at the other two men in the room. “I appreciate everything you both have done, but right now I need to speak to my husband… alone.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>After Alistair and Dorian shuffled off, I went downstairs and asked Cass if she could station someone outside- Cullen and I needed to talk without any interruptions.  She took one look at my tight face before nodding, saying she would handle it. Breathing a sigh of relief and offering the Seeker a grateful hug, I locked the door and I returned inside, trying my best to figure out how I wanted to approach this conversation. On the one hand, I felt lied to- everyone seemed to know what was going on except me, which made me mad enough to spit. However, I also realized how hard it must be for him to tell me that he was going through something that was life and death in Thedas when all he wanted to do was be the best husband he could.</p><p>I sighed, leaning against the door- in this case, there was no winning or losing… there was just existing, which was a sobering thought. </p><p>Once I had gathered enough of my resolve, I went upstairs and found my husband turned toward the wall, unwilling to even look at me. Without a word, I picked up the soup and walked over to the bed, extending the bowl out to him. “You need to eat,” I said firmly. </p><p>He shook his head. “I do not deserve your kindness, beloved,” he said quietly. “I understand if you… no longer wish…”</p><p>I rolled my eyes. “Take the damn soup, love- I’m not going anywhere. Like it or not, you’re stuck with me.” I extended the bowl again and he slowly rolled over, tentatively reaching out for the bowl. “Sit up first,” I chided, then handed him the bowl as he adjusted himself in the bed. While he ate, I went in the drawer, pulling out one of the blankets and folding it up behind his head so he could relax. When I finished he paused, but I waved him on. “Eat- while you do, I want to tell you a story.” </p><p>The confusion evident on his face, he just nodded, slowly beginning to eat. I sighed as picked up my bag, setting it at my feet as I pulled out my water bottle for him. “I already knew, Cullen,” I whispered. “I knew a long time ago that you were going through withdrawal- from what, I still don’t know. But I’ve known something was wrong for a while now.” His face twisted into an expression of shock, and I let out a mirthless chuckle. “Like I said… I want to tell you a story.” </p><p>Taking a deep breath, I leaned against the wall. “You know Grace and I are super close, right?” He nodded, so I continued, folding my hands. “But, did I ever get the chance to tell you why?” </p><p>“No,” he said carefully, looking down at his bowl. “If I’m being honest, I simply thought it was because you were sisters.”</p><p>“That could be the reason,” I replied. “But there’s a little more to it than that.” I let out a deep breath, feeling like I was betraying my sister, but I knew I had to share- living with mom had taught me that there was no such thing as coincidence, only building blocks of knowledge that reveal themselves at the appropriate time. “Grace and I didn’t grow up together- we’ve got two different dads,” I said softly, staring upward and recalling the memories.</p><p>"Do you think hers would like me better?" Cullen asked as he finished his soup, trying to smile weakly. "I think my relationship with my own father-in-law is a wash, and I fear this will do nothing to improve it."</p><p>"Somehow, I doubt it," I said with a soft smile. "Want me to continue?"</p><p>"Please do," he said quietly. "I'd like to hear more."</p><p>I sighed, then continued. “So yeah, I’d see Grace ever so often and she was great to me, but she had her own life.” I twiddled my hands, trying to steady myself. “But then mom kept getting calls about how Grace was ditching school, getting into fights, and just generally doing stupid shit. I was too young to remember most of this, but then there was one day I just remember feeling ‘Grace needs me right now’.” I smiled sadly. “Now this was super weird to me because Grace never liked to show emotion or affection- when I was little, I used to think she hated me."</p><p>“Your sister could never hate you,” Cullen said as he sat his empty soup bowl on the table and gestured for me to sit next to him. Without a word, I settled on the bed and allowed him to lean on my chest as I rubbed his head. He was still warm, but nowhere near the five-alarm fire that he was this morning. “Sory,” he said softly, "continue your story, please?”</p><p>“Of course,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Well, when that feeling never went away, I snuck through the door we used to connect our houses, even though I wasn’t supposed to use the passageway without Mom’s permission. So, I went over to her house, and-“ I paused, trying my damndest not to cry, “I'll never forget it- I found her frozen in place and crying in the kitchen.”</p><p>Cullen looked up, his eyes wide. “What happened?</p><p>I took a deep breath and tried to focus. “Grace came back from school and found her dad passed out on the floor- he’d overdosed,” I said quietly. “If I hadn’t come over, her dad would've died that day.” </p><p>“Why didn’t your mom come?” Cullen asked angrily. "Why didn’t she help Grace?” </p><p>“You know how she is- that woman is always playing the long game,” I said bitterly. “And hindsight being twenty-twenty, I get it- her dad wasn’t going to do a damn thing until he lost everything." He looked horrified, and I looked down. "We committed him that day, you know… sent him to a treatment center.” I bit my lip, trying to give voice to the memories I didn’t want to bring up. “Grace went to live with us while he got better, and that’s when we got closer.” I looked away, stroking his hair absentmindedly. “And even though she was a tough-ass thirteen-year-old girl, she’d be in her room every night, crying her eyes out for her dad.” </p><p>“Maker,” he said, “that’s terrible.” He paused, and I could tell he was choosing his words carefully. “But what does this have to do with me, love?”</p><p>“Well, when you’re that addicted to something,” I said slowly, “your body isn’t just going to let you stop taking it- it… fights back.” I swallowed as I looked down, feeling ashamed about the memory. “Well one night, I was hoping to help Grace, so I decided to use my gift and check on him. It wasn't like what I can do with you guys,” I said quickly, “I was just watching- no interference. But when I found him-“ I let out a sigh, shaking my head, “the man was <em>broken</em>, Cullen… he was stuck in a room, sweaty, puking his guts up,” I shuddered at the memory. “And the worst part was, this man is freaking brilliant- he’s one of the best doctors in New Jersey.  Seeing him like that… let’s just say that was a little too rough for an eight-year-old to see.”</p><p>“Was I like that?” Cullen asked. When I looked over at him, I could tell he was dreading the answer. “Tell me the truth, please?”</p><p>I shook my head. “You were getting there, that’s for sure. After that, I started looking up what was wrong with him- hoping I could fix him, you know? I wanted my sister to be happy again, and I figured if her dad was healthy, then she’d go back to being Grace.” I chuckled mirthlessly. “I was a stupid kid, but my heart was in the right place.”</p><p>Cullen’s eyelids were drooping so I tried to shift away, but he caught me, hugging me tightly. “Please don’t leave yet- I’d like to know what happened.” </p><p>“Well, when Mom finally noticed me swiping her medical books, she sat both of us down and told us point-blank that if Grace's dad wanted to get better, we couldn’t do it for him- all we could do was be there for him afterward.” I smiled, rubbing his arms absentmindedly. “And he did, but as a result, I’m kind of an expert on withdrawal symptoms- I never stopped watching the man for them, so when I saw you…”</p><p>“You knew immediately,” he finished, closing his eyes. “So if you knew, why didn’t you say anything, Sam?”</p><p>“Cause it was just like my mom said,” I replied. “I can’t do anything- this is something you have to do on your own, Cullen. All I can do is be there for you… if you want me to be.” </p><p>Cullen didn’t speak for a few moments, but finally, he shifted, burying his face in my chest again. “Lyrium,” he said in a voice that was almost too quiet to hear. “All templars take it to enhance their abilities. But after Kirkwall… I wanted nothing to do with them- I… stopped taking it. And I’ve been in hell ever since,” he said quietly. </p><p>“I can help with that,” I said quietly. “I’ve been trying to, at any rate- it’s kind of hard when I don’t know the full problem, though.” </p><p>He sat up, looking thoughtful for a moment. “Your pills,” he said softly. “You knew they would help.”</p><p>“Some of the symptoms, at least,” I replied. “There are other things we can try, as long as you talk with me about how you’re feeling. Hell, I was a walking encyclopedia on this shit. Plus, Mom’s book has some info on it.” I kissed him on his forehead. “Don’t worry,” I said confidently, “we’ll get through this. After all,” I teased, “the Inquisition needs it’s Commander, you know.” When he smiled, I took his hand. "And I need my husband."</p><p>Cullen looked at me nervously, then took a deep breath. “Sam,” he said quietly, “I need to ask you a question.” </p><p>I closed my eyes- I knew this line of questioning was going to happen at some point. “You want to know your consequences, don’t you?” When I felt him nod, I let out a deep breath. “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yes,” he said firmly, taking my hand and threading it in his. “I need to know if what I’m doing is right.” </p><p>“If you’re doing it and you think it’s right, it’s right,” I said kindly. “You don’t need me to tell you that, Cullen.” </p><p>“That may be,” he said, “but I would feel better… knowing.” He took another deep breath and closed his eyes, focusing on his decision. “Samantha, what happens if I continue refusing to take lyrium?”</p><p>Focusing on his threads, I came across a large branch- this was an important decision for him. After searching the threads, I let out a sigh of relief and opened my eyes, kissing my husband and stroking his messy curls. Noticing my reaction, Cullen scanned my face, his eyes pleading with me to verbalize what I’d seen. “Well?” Cullen asked, his voice somewhat panicked, "What happens?"</p><p>“Everything,” I whispered, kissing him and hugging him tightly. “Everything happens.” </p><p>"I don't know what that means," he replied nervously. "Do I have a future if I continue on this path?"</p><p>"If you do this, your future is yours, Cullen," I said happily. "And we’ll all be with you… every step of the way."</p>
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<a name="section0026"><h2>26. A different perspective</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lana has to find a new way to work while Sam and Ali remain at Skyhold</p>
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<hr/><p>Alistair left Cullen's quarters with Dorian, feeling very apprehensive after leaving his friends. "Today is just turning into an all-around, no good day," he said to the mage. "Between Cass punching Varric and this, I’m sort of hoping that I’m asleep somewhere.”</p><p>“Pardon?” Dorian asked, turning to face him and leaning against the stone wall. “Do you care to run that by me again? It appears I’m woefully behind on my gossip." The mage cocked his head and put one hand on his hip, the other being used to brandish a finger in his friend’s face. "Shame on you for holding out on me, Alistair!”</p><p>He chuckled. “It was early… I’m not knocking on your door at that time of morning for any reason and you know it.” Looking around and seeing no one nearby, he draped his arm over the mage and dropped his tone to a furtive whisper. “So, you know Lana’s cousin is here, right?” </p><p>Dorian raised his eyebrow. “The dark-haired man with the scar across his nose?” When Alistair nodded, Dorian shook his head. “I’m starting to feel like this whole Inquisition is nothing more than an Amell family reunion,” he groused. “But yes, I’ve seen him- what of the man?”</p><p>“That would be Garrett Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall,” he replied as they walked toward the tavern, the morning still quiet as the denizens of Skyhold slowly awoke. “Cullen and Varric both knew he was alive, but no one told Cass about where he was… they were looking for a figurehead for the Inquisition before Lana showed up, so she was quite pissed to discover Varric could’ve found the man any time he wanted.” </p><p>“But we have Lana,” Dorian said plaintively as they entered the Herald's Rest. “Surely she knows that we’re better off having her guide us than whoever this Hawke person is?”</p><p>“Hindsight is everything,” Alistair said as he grabbed a plate of food from the cook. “At any rate, I don’t know if that was the Seeker's first thought when she saw the dwarf and punched him in the face- I had to hold her back while Varric scurried off somewhere.”</p><p>Dorian gingerly took a sweet roll, eyeing his other choices with equal measures of disdain and horror. “It seems I’ve missed quite a bit this morning, least of which is edible sustenance,” he said sadly. “I swear, I hate this country sometimes- if it weren’t for you lot, I’d most likely have drowned myself in the ocean long ago.” </p><p>Suddenly, there was a clatter next to them, as the small elf slammed her plate down next to them. “Oi! You two blokes hear what happened this morning?” She looked over at Dorian scowling at his food, then tossed an apple at the mage, who looked extremely grateful. “Looks like Angryface is givin’ out punches for brekky this mornin’. Best to stay away- Dwarfie is upstairs and lookin’ a bit colorful right now.” </p><p>“I was there, Sera,” Alistair replied, smiling at the girl and shaking his head. "Varric ok?”</p><p>She shrugged, digging her spoon into the slop on Dorian’s plate and grinning from ear to ear as the mage slid the food toward her while he munched happily on his apple. “It’s his pride that’s bruised mostly. ‘Bout time someone knocked him on his arse a bit- thinks he’s so smart, that one does."</p><p>“She’s not wrong,” Dorian remarked, earning him a beaming smile from the elf. “He’s lucky that’s all she did- considering how mad she was at him not mentioning Sam, I’m surprised she didn’t take his head off and make a trophy out of it.”</p><p>“Bloody ugly trophy,” Sera muttered, causing the two men to snicker. “Just sayin’,” she said as she waved her spoon at them. “Folks who get too big for their britches always get knocked down a peg… one way or the other.” </p><p>“I thought you liked Varric,” Alistair said, staring at Sera in confusion- he knew he had to get to the training grounds and assist Blackwall, but right now, he’d rather chat with his friends. “What’d he do to you?”</p><p>“Eh, he’s a’ight,” Sera replied, shrugging her shoulders. “Can drink a good pint and tell a damn good story, so I’ve got no whiff with the bloke. But he thinks he knows more than Quizzy and her folk sometimes, which he don’t.” She shoved a spoonful of slop into her mouth before she continued. “Gettin’ a note on why he'd want to act like normal folk won’t be the worst, I’ll tell ya that. Anyway,” she said, tilting the bowl up and licking it loudly, “I’m off- got shit to do and sittin’ ‘round yakkin’ wit' you lot ain’t gettin’ it done.” She jumped up and clapped him on the back as Alistair squeezed her around the waist, making her scowl and grin as she punched him in the arm. “Later, fuckers!” </p><p>As the elf bounded out the door, Dorian looked at Alistair with a slightly amused expression. “Will wonders never cease- it appears that even Sera can make a modicum of sense now and again.” He shook his head, eating his apple with delicate nibbles. “I’m starting to agree with you- today may very well be a dream.”</p><p>“I certainly hope so,” he agreed. “Otherwise, today’s excursions are going to be massively entertaining.”</p><p>Dorian gave him a suspicious look. “What aren’t you telling me,” he asked, leaning back in his chair and finishing his apple. “It seems as if once again, you know something I don’t, Ali.”</p><p>Alistair nodded. “Well, with Cullen in such bad shape, you know Sam isn’t leaving today, but Lana still has to look into something going on in Crestwood. Which means,” he said thoughtfully, finishing the last of his breakfast, “that she's going to have different teams going with her today.” He quickly looked down, not willing to share what Lana had told him after Sam and Cass left the room- Dorian was about to have a fit that would rival anything Sparrow could throw.  “And you’re going out with her today.”</p><p>Dorian narrowed his eyes, causing Alistair to squirm. “And?” When Alistair closed his eyes, he felt the mage poke him in the arm. “Well? Finish up- you can’t just leave it like that!” </p><p>“She wants to take Hawke and Varric so she can keep Cass from killing them…” he looked around the tavern, his eyes settling on Bull sitting in the corner, then resumed talking. “And…”</p><p>The Altus’s eyes went wide. “She <em>wouldn’t!</em>” When Alistair refused to look at him, Dorian began to swat at him furiously. “Why not you! You’re her blasted fiancé- you should be going with her!” </p><p>“I would, but I <em>can’t!</em>” Alistair pleaded as Dorian's face twisted in rage. “I gotta stay here to work with the troops for Cullen while Cass stays here to handle the reports!” As Dorian’s slaps grew angrier, Alistair put his hands over his head, trying to deflect his smattering of hits. “It wasn’t my decision!” </p><p>“But it’s <em>him!</em>” Dorian wailed. When some of the other patrons began to stare, he finally realized the scene he was making and flopped back into his seat, crossing his arms angrily. “And you <em>knew!</em>” </p><p>“When you get back, I’ll give you a bottle of that Antivan Red I found,” he cooed, patting him on the shoulder. “Just make sure my future wife comes home safe, ok?”</p><p>“Make it two,” Dorian replied, sending daggers at him with his eyes. “I’m going to need to be very inebriated to wash away the memories of this trip, thank you very much.” </p><p>“As long as Sparrow and I get to hear all about it when you come back, then you have a deal,” Alistair said, getting up from the table so he could start his day.</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Lana looked at her cousin as they made their way toward the camp in Crestwood. The trip was rather strained- Dorian was decidedly put out about traveling with Bull again without his two buffers and Varric and Hawke were decidedly talking amongst themselves, leaving Lana alone with her thoughts. Though she'd felt better after talking with Bull, she couldn't help feeling like the odd one out. </p><p>Missing her sister and Alistair, she walked a little ahead of her angry little troop and reached out for Sam. <em>How are things going?</em></p><p><em>Better, now that we’re talking about it,</em> Sam replied. <em>Fuck me sideways, that man was willing to kill himself to keep a damn secret… that Cass already knew.</em> When Sam paused, Lana could tell that she was shaking her head with exasperation. <em>This macho bullshit, man… I can’t deal. </em></p><p><em>It’s his way,</em> Lana replied gently. <em>He’s always been like that- keep everything inside and forget that we’re here for him.</em> She looked around at Varric and Hawke, and let out a sigh of her own.<em> I wish you were here- it’s a bit awkward, to say the least. I feel like I'm the intruder in my own damnable party,</em> she said sadly. </p><p><em>How’s Varric,</em> Sam asked, changing the subject. <em>Cass… is still mad. I didn’t want to pry, but it's starting to look like she’s pretty set on never talking to him again and you know as well as I do that she’s certainly the person that could pull that off. Seeing as how we’re trying to stop an evil nutjob who wants to be a god, we might want to do something. </em></p><p><em>But what?</em> Lana asked. <em>She won’t let Varric near her without growling at him, and I hardly want to have them in the same party until we can ensure she won't lop his head from his shoulders. </em></p><p><em>Hmmm,</em> Sam replied. <em>I might have an idea- remember the books we all talked about at breakfast that day? </em></p><p><em>I do, yes.</em> Lana frowned. <em>But what does that have to do with anything? </em></p><p><em>Well, one of the ones she loves,</em> Sam said slowly, <em>isn’t finished, remember? And if I’m correct, it’s the one Varric wrote… Maybe we can convince him to give her a sneak peek at what he’s sending the publisher? </em></p><p>Lana’s eyes widened, a plan starting to form in her head. <em>And if we can get them talking over the book, she just might forgive him!</em> Lana let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and smiled into the distance. <em>Even apart, we make a great team, sister. </em></p><p>She could hear the smirk in Sam’s reply. <em>Was there ever a doubt? But I gotta go- Cass has color-coded Cullen’s reports and I have to verify if her threat levels are accurate. Keep your chin up- I’m sure it won’t be that bad, but if it gets really hairy, let me know and I’ll come running, ok?</em></p><p><em>Don’t worry about us</em>, Lana replied, wishing for all the world Sam could come right now. <em>Just make sure our Commander gets the care he needs- we’ll be fine. </em></p><p><em>If you say so,</em> Sam said with a smile in her voice.<em> Love you, Lana Banana- call me if you need me.</em></p><p><em>I will,</em> she replied, cutting the connection and sighing. Though she used to complain about having her in battle with them, Lana found that she missed having Sam with her- her presence was both an irritant and a salve, and she was finding it hard getting used to being without it.</p><p>“You know, if you keep frowning like that, mother says your face will get stuck that way,” Hawke said from beside her as he poked her in the side, jostling her back to the present. “Penny for your thoughts?”</p><p>“Hello, Hawke,” Lana said kindly as she looked up at him. “Are you doing ok? Is there anything you need assistance with?”</p><p>“Yes,” he said quickly. “I need to understand why my long-lost cousin is avoiding me like the plague.” He turned to look at her, his hazel eyes sparkling with amusement. "Care to offer me any assistance with that?”</p><p>Lana sighed. “I’m not avoiding you,” she said, then paused. “It’s just- you were talking with Varric, and-“</p><p>Hawke cocked his head and gave her a wry grin. “And because talking with Varric means that we could <em>never</em> include you in that conversation,” he intoned dryly. “And especially since I’ve known Varric for the last decade and I’ve never had the pleasure to chat with you one-on-one, I’m sure he would have never forgiven me for such a flagrant transgression.” </p><p>Despite her melancholy mood, Lana let out a laugh that made Hawke smile. “There! That’s better- unless you were secretly Carver, we Amells are never meant to be such a dour bunch,” he said as he squeezed her shoulder. “So, talk to me, cousin dearest- what’s on your mind?”</p><p>“No one wants to be here,” she said sadly. “I fear I’m not doing too well in the morale department- I don't know, maybe Sam was the reason we all had so much fun together.” Lana shrugged her shoulders, then kicked a nearby rock. “I just feel like I’m doing everything wrong.”</p><p>“If that’s how you feel, then you’re doing at least one thing right,” Hawke said gently. “I never felt like I was doing the right thing- I just had to go with what I thought was appropriate, property damage be damned.”</p><p>“How did you do it?” Lana asked curiously, making their way toward Scout Harding, who was waiting for them at the top of the ridge. “I feel like everyone is looking for me to do the right thing, but I’ve got no bloody clue what to do!” </p><p>“Then we’re more alike than I thought... because that was my motto,” he replied as he hugged her. “Just find something that everyone can do together- it’s amazing how much better people get along when their asses are on the line.”</p><p>She nodded and approached the camp, where Scout Harding was waiting for her. “Um, where’s everyone else?” She looked at the rest of her crew, then frowned. “Where’s your sister?” </p><p>“At home, handling things,” Lana said sadly. “I’m afraid you’ll be dealing with us today, Lace. In the meantime, I’d like to introduce you to my cousin, Garrett Hawke, also known as the Champion of Kirkwall.” She gestured to Hawke, who bowed and kissed the dwarf on her knuckles, causing her to giggle. “He’s assisting me while Sam is indisposed.”</p><p>She turned to Lana with a smirking expression. “You sure Sam didn’t pull one over on you, Inquisitor? Cause we’ve got reports of undead in the flooded ruins of Old Crestwood, bandits in the countryside, and a dragon roaming around somewhere out there- seems to me like she chose the perfect time to sit this one out.”</p><p>“Wait, did you say… a <em>dragon?”</em> Bull’s eyes were practically aglow with excitement. “Boss… we gotta fight the dragon,” he pleaded, sounding uncharacteristically excited. “Cheesy and Sparrow are gonna be so jealous that we got to do it- we can’t go around <em>not</em> slaying dragons, Boss!” </p><p>Lana crossed her arms, giving Bull a sly grin. “I’ll have you know that Ali, Leli, Cullen, and I have fought a dragon before, Bull.”</p><p>“But <em>we</em> haven’t done it!” Bull replied eagerly, shifting his massive bulk from foot to foot in anticipation. “C’mon, when are we ever gonna get a chance like this again?”</p><p>“If it will shut him up,” Dorian growled, “then I say let’s go fight the bloody thing. With any luck, it just might eat him and I’ll be spared his breath down my neck on our return home.” </p><p>Lana ignored him and turned to glance at Hawke, who simply shrugged and took out his knives, inspecting them casually. “Sounds like a plan to me, cousin- I’m willing to do it if you are. Besides, Varric and I have fought a dragon before- it’ll be nice to have one up on Curly and Alistair.”</p><p>Varric groaned, but he was smiling. “If I recall correctly, a large portion of that fight was spent with you running around in a circle with your knickers on fire while the rest of us tried to avoid becoming dinner, Hawke.”</p><p>“But we <em>won</em>,” he said proudly, thrusting a finger at the dwarf triumphantly. “And not only that, I’m still the proud owner of part of that mine.” The rogue turned to Lana with a wide grin on his face. “I think we’re all ready. Shall we take care of these other trivial tasks so we can get to the fun stuff?” </p><p>“I love the fact that you view clearing out swaths of the undead and bandits as trivial, Garrett,” Lana said with a shake of her head. “Something tells me I’m going to regret this down the line…” she looked at her teammates, who were eagerly (well, except Dorian, who was doing his best not to look like he wanted to murder the lot of them) awaiting her decision. “But why not- let’s get these other things taken care of so we can kill a dragon, guys!”</p><p><em>“YES!”</em> Bull exclaimed, grabbing the Altus and twirling him around, causing Dorian to let out a startled yelp. “I swear, you take me to the nicest places, Boss.”</p><p>“I try,” Lana replied with a giggle as Dorian scowled and furiously tried to smooth his robes. “I’m just glad you’re happy, Bull.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>As Varric was cleaning the remnants of the dragon from Bianca by the fire, he heard Lana’s voice from behind him. “Hey Varric, do you have a moment?”</p><p>“For you, always,” he replied, patting the space next to him as he folded and put away the cleaning cloth. “What’s on your mind, Hero?” </p><p>She sat down, her strange green eyes reflecting the light of the fire. “Well… I wanted to talk to you about something,” she said carefully, looking uncomfortable. “It’s about the-“ she gestured to his eye, which was still a nice shade of purple. “-that.”</p><p>“Ah,” he replied, getting why she seemed so nervous. “I knew it was coming, Hero- nobody’s fault but my own, but at least I finally did right by everyone involved.” He folded his hands behind his head as he gazed solemnly into the flames. “Damn shame, though- the Seeker was just starting to tolerate me, too.”</p><p>“That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about,” Lana said, pulling out a copy of Swords and Shields from her bag. “Did you write this?”</p><p>He took the book and laughed as he flipped through the pages. “<em>Swords and Shields?</em> Not my best work but hey, everyone’s entitled to a miss sometimes, right?” He handed her back the book and gave her a curious look. “Wait, don’t tell me… are you into that kind of thing?”</p><p>Lana squirmed, then looked away. “As a matter of fact, I am,” she said through gritted teeth. “We were going to start a book club,” she admitted, “but no one knows when the third one is going to be released.”</p><p>“It’s not,” Varric said good-naturedly. “It’s a hack job that no one reads… well, except you,” he said quickly. Then, something she said clicked in his head. “Wait a second… when you said ‘book club’, who were you talking about?”</p><p>“That’s the thing,” Lana said, looking away. “It was me, Sam… and Cassandra.” She turned to the dwarf, giving him a pointed look. “We were really looking forward to the third installment of this… surely you have a draft somewhere we can read?”</p><p>Hearing what she was saying and figuring he should put the Inquisitor out of her misery, he decided to cut to the chase. “So, the Seeker wants to read the rest of the series, huh?” Then his face grew thoughtful. “Well, I did have a draft… it’s not finished though. If she’s such a big fan, maybe she could give me some notes- always nice to get some feedback while I can actually do something about it.” He turned to Lana, his expression hopeful. “You think she’d actually want to read it?” </p><p>“I know she would,” Lana said quietly. “And I think seeing something in progress before anyone else would go a long way toward showing how much you value her opinion.”</p><p>He sighed. “I’ll think about it,” he said finally, knowing that he was already trying to recall where he’d stored his notes on the damn thing. Varric hated that series- he’d only started it to mess with Aveline after Cullen told him to leave out Sparrow of his work, but if it would make Cassandra happy, he’d gladly dig up the rubbish and start trying to make a silk purse out of a nug’s ear. “You think Sam might be willing to do a few illustrations?”</p><p>“Varric,” Lana said with a bright smile as she got up, dusting off her pants as she stretched. “For you, I think she just might."</p>
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<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Reunions and Rationales</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alistair has tea; a familiar face comes to work for the Inquisition</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So apparently, I thought today was Saturday... go figure. </p><p>Oh well, quarantine brain- enjoy a pretty fun bonus chapter, and see you Saturday!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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<hr/><p>When Cullen was finally asleep under a codeine-induced haze, I turned to Cassandra, trying to get the woman to crack even the ghost of a smile. She’d been amazing this morning- with her help, we’d managed to organize his reports and requisitions pretty quickly. After we had reached the last missive in the huge stack, I gave the seeker a wide grin. “And that's a wrap! Looks like Team Mage gets shit done, eh, Cass?” </p><p>In response, she only gave me a harrumph, making my smile falter as I stared at my friend. When she noticed me fall silent, she looked up and immediately got an apologetic look on her face. “Oh no, dear Sam- I didn’t mean to insult you. Today was fine- it’s just…” she let out a loud exhale as she pounded the desk with her fist. “It’s that damn Varric! How could he!”</p><p>“If it’s any consolation, I’m not too pleased to see Hawke again either,” I grumbled. “Varric could’ve left him right where he was.” </p><p>At that, Cassandra turned to me with a confused look on her face. “I would have thought you’d be overjoyed to see your cousin again, Sam- why is that not the case?”</p><p>“Because he’s a dick,” I said angrily, gathering up the extra scraps of paper and tossing them in the fire. “He left me… <em>us</em>… to go chase after that mass-murdering Anders!" I growled. "Hawke was the first new person I trusted after Lana died, but that bastard ran out on everyone that cared about him!” </p><p>“But you still trust <em>Varric</em>,” Cass said, frowning and saying his name as if it tasted bad. “And you’ve forgiven Lana for her omission... so why not him?” </p><p>"Varric never lied to me," I replied as I stood up, leaning against the fireplace and relishing in the warmth of the flames. “And unlike Lana, I don't think our cousin will ever put us first.” I looked over at the Seeker, who was resting in the chair as she looked at me. "Hell, even Varric put saving the world over saving his own skin- he could’ve cut bait and ran a long time ago, but he didn’t, so I give him mad props… even if I don’t like that he lied to my friend,” I said, causing the woman to finally smile. “Hawke…” I shook my head, then turned away. “I just don’t know about him.” </p><p>Cass just looked at me. “You seem to be really upset, Sam- have you talked with Hawke at all?” I started to say something but she cut me off, holding up a finger. “Not screaming at him, but talking to him?" When I paused, she started to chuckle. "I’m starting to think that you and Lana share the habit of not talking to the objects of your irritation, whereas I am a little too quick to lash out at those that annoy or anger me.”</p><p>“Maybe we need to combine,” I joked. “Who knows? We might even end up being functional humans.” </p><p>She laughed. “Possibly.” Then she shook her head and gestured to the door. “Go- get out of here and get some air. If you leave the medicines you wish the Commander to have, I will make sure he has them when he awakes.” When I began to protest, she cut me off. “I’ll hear none of that, Sam- you’ve been here all day, and you need some air. Go and find your friends, Sam- take a moment for yourself while you can, for I’m sure our friends are going to need you at their sides soon enough. Plus,” she said with a smile, “I can tell you’ve been lost in your head for quite some time- you've been looking over your sister, I presume?”</p><p>“Yeah, you caught me- those idiots went off and fought a dragon,” I replied sheepishly. “I’ve been worried outta my mind this entire time.”</p><p>“Without <em>me</em>?” Cass exclaimed, her face turning red. “Those bastards!” </p><p>I gave her a look and she calmed down a little. “Why does everyone think this sounds like a good idea?” When Cass crossed her arms in an adorable pout, I gave in and laughed. “If it’s any consolation, I’ll make sure you get to fight the next one.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>The training sessions were ending for the day, leaving Alistair exhausted- how Cullen did this day in and day out all while suffering from withdrawal symptoms was beyond him. As he rolled his aching shoulders, Alistair made a mental note to give the man a bit of praise for his efforts when he was feeling better.  </p><p>From the other side of the training grounds, Blackwall was talking with a group of recruits, laughing and praising their efforts over the course of the day. Whenever he saw Blackwall, Alistair realized that the man was a mystery to him- his fighting technique and styles were solid and he could probably give him a run for his money in a fight. But just as he had told Sparrow before, Blackwall was definitely <em>not</em> a member of the order- every warden knew that others in the order could sense the taint in them. <em>However</em>, he reasoned,<em> Lana can’t sense the taint anymore, and she and Sam were the first to encounter him. Or... </em></p><p><em>He’s not a warden,</em> he thought, his eyes wide. <em>Blackwall is pretending. </em></p><p>Suddenly, Alistair discovered that he had caught the attention of the man in question- not wanting to draw undue suspicion before he got a chance to talk to Lana and Sam he waved at Blackwall, then turned to head toward the fortress. <em>I need to talk to Sam</em>, he thought. <em>We need to come up with a plan. </em></p><p>As he lost himself in his thoughts, the warden nearly stumbled into Solas. “Oh crap,” Alistair said, embarrassed. “My apologies, Solas- I wasn’t watching where I was going, and-“</p><p>The elf cut him off with a slight shake of his head and a soft smile. “It’s no trouble, Warden. Accidents happen, and I assure you- I was just as preoccupied as you were.” He gestured to his room. “As a measure of my apology, would you like to join me for a cup of tea?” </p><p>Alistair frowned. “But I thought you hated tea?” </p><p>“I keep trying it,” he admitted. “Lady Montiliyet keeps insisting that there are flavors out there that don’t taste absolutely horrendous, but I cannot say I’ve found one yet that makes me think that drinking the beverage is anything remotely resembling a good idea.” He smiled at Alistair. “Perhaps having company would make the drink more… palatable.”</p><p>“I don’t know about that,” Alistair said with a grin as they entered his room. “I thought having others with me as I cooked might make my food better. Spoiler- it just means more people are mad at you.”</p><p>At that, Solas let out a genuine laugh. “I can see that,” he replied, moving to his teapot and pouring two cups and gesturing for Alistair to have a seat. “I must say, it is quite a feat to have both surviving wardens from the first blight with us in the Inquisition.”</p><p>Alistair took a sip of his tea, which wasn’t as bad as he’d been expecting- it tasted like wet spindleweed, to be sure, but it wasn't as bad as some of the things he’d eaten. “Well, Lana and Sparrow are involved, so I’m not surprised by anything that concerns the two of them.”</p><p>“Really?” Solas folded his hands and stared politely at him. “Do strange things happen with them often?” </p><p>“A better question would be when do normal things happen with them,” he replied with a grin and sitting down his cup. “But Lana is my heart and Sparrow is the sister I've never had- I can’t imagine my life without them.”</p><p>“You all share an interesting tale,” Solas said calmly. “I believe that you and Samantha spent ten years without Solana, is that correct? How did you manage to maintain your faith in her return over such a long time?”</p><p>“You just know,” he said, not able to think of a better way to explain what he’d felt for all these years. “Before she… died, Lana gave me her locket so I could talk to Sparrow, so the two of us kept in touch. She kept me grounded,” he admitted. “Whenever I thought I couldn’t deal, I’d talk to her and she’d pull me back. I’m sure it was the same for her- I don't think that Sam would've come back to Thedas otherwise.”</p><p>Solas raised an eyebrow as he sipped his tea, then grimaced, sitting the cup down. “I would think that she would have wanted to stay- you and her husband were here, after all."</p><p>Alistair shook his head, taking another sip of the tea. “Nope. Sparrow was dead set against coming back, which would have made Rutherford miserable.” </p><p>“What changed her mind, then?” Solas asked. As the elf leaned forward, Alistair heard the shuffle of wings and looked up, noticing that Baron Plucky had perched on the railing above them. Remembering the nips the bird had given him once before, he set his cup down and gave the raven a tentative wave, shivering a bit as the bird ruffled its feathers in response. If Solas noticed the bird, he made no mention of it- he just took another sip of his tea and patiently waited for Alistair to answer.</p><p>“Well, Sparrow and I started having these weird dreams,” he said thoughtfully. “At first, I thought it was just me, but then after talking to Sam, we noticed we were sharing the same dream. Since that usually isn't possible, we figured that something weird was going on.”</p><p>“But Samantha is a Dreamer,” Solas replied, stirring his drink. “By all rights and reasons, she should be more than able to share a dream with you.”</p><p>“We thought they were dreams too, but it turns out they weren’t- Lana’s mom had sent her to another world, and we were just… <em>watching</em>. Somehow, when I saw her again, I was able to get connected with Lana and give her back the locket,” Alistair replied, fingering the absent space on his neck. “It was the first time I’d really seen her in ten years, and I knew I loved her just as much as I did before. After that, I made it my mission to find a way back to her.”</p><p>“And now you have,” Solas said as he smiled at the warden and frowned when he noticed the agitated bird. “Well, I must say that while the tea was still dreadful, the conversation was quite enlightening. I do appreciate you taking a moment to chat with me, even if it was over such a sub-par beverage.”</p><p>“Meh, it was nothing,” Alistair said with a shrug. “Let me know next time Josie gets another one she wants you to try- I’m always up for eating something I don’t have to cook. It’s usually safer that way.”</p><p>“I will keep that in mind,” Solas replied, gesturing toward the door. “However, I think the arrival of our feathered friend means that others have returned, so I suppose we should get back to our duties.” </p><p>“Probably so,” the warden agreed. “See you around, Solas- hope you find a tea that doesn’t make you angry soon.”</p><p>The elf laughed, shaking his head as he rose from his chair. “You and I both, Alistair.”<br/>
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<hr/><p>When I stepped outside my apartment, I heard a whoosh and a thud come from behind me, and I jumped about a foot in the air. <em>“What the fuck!”</em> I screamed, whirling around to see who had just tried to take years off my lifespan. “What’s the big idea?”</p><p>“Hahahahaha! You damn near shat your breeches, you did!” Sera tittered, making me scowl before punching her in the arm- this only served to make the elf giggle even more. “Been a right strange day over here- no one’s where they should be.”</p><p>Shaking my head, I looped my arm over the elf's shoulders as we walked- even if she did just scare the piss out of me, I was still happy to see the girl. “Strange is putting it lightly, Sera. What’s on your mind today?”</p><p>She shrugged. “Well, everyone’s uptight and wonky, ya know? You ain’t out with Quizzy, FancyPants is out on the road, and Cheesy's out sippin’ tea like a hoity-toity bloke with the egg.” She paused, taking a moment to spit over the railing. “Feels like nothin’s right around here.” </p><p>“Well,” I said carefully, “I got put out of the room because I’m apparently driving Cass up a wall, so you feel like coming with me to spy on our new arcane enchanter? I heard they should be arriving today- may as well get a feel for who’s gonna be rollin’ up in our castle and blowing shit up, right?”</p><p>Sera’s eyes sparkled. “Hell yea, Sam- race ya!” Then she glared and wagged a finger at me angrily. “And no funny magicky stuff- no poppin’ up and out like a weirdo, k? Just good ol’ legs- no cheating’!”</p><p>I laughed as I began to race down the ramparts, not wanting to run but having absolutely nothing better to do. “Sera, you’re the goddamn queen of cheating!”</p><p>“Damn right,” she said as she threw a jar of bees at me. “Suck on that, you bloody tosser!”<br/>
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“I won!” Sera crowed as we stood at the entrance of the Undercroft. “Face it, Sam, you’re too bleedin’ slow to keep up!”</p><p>“You're a fucking bitch, Sera!" I screamed, still shivering from the image of a jar of bees flying at me. As she giggled uncontrollably, I glared at the elf and thrust the intact container at her. "You tossed a container of bees… at my face!” </p><p>“Eh, I knew you’d stop it,” she said with a shrug. “Figure those weirdy powers o’ yours were good for sumthin’.” I frowned and she pushed me toward the wall, laughing the entire time. “Come off it, you know you had fun!"</p><p>“Whatever,” I muttered as we walked down the stairs. When we emerged in the open, I let out my own laugh when I saw the small dwarf pouring over notes. “Dagna?” I asked incredulously. “Is that you?”</p><p>“Huh?” The dwarf looked up from her notes, her ruddy face bright with excitement. “Samantha!” Dagna exclaimed, running over to greet me. “By the stone, I can’t believe it’s you!”</p><p>Sera cocked a finger at me, then gave the girl a look. “Wut, you know this one?”</p><p>Dagna nodded enthusiastically. “My word, yes! She’s the one who convinced the enchanter to let me study there! When I heard the Inquisition needed an arcane enchanter, I had no idea I’d be seeing you guys again!” She hugged me, then stared up at me. “How have you been! Are you still able to come and go from other worlds?”</p><p>Sera practically turned pale at this, but I laughed. “Nope, just this one now- I’m a permanent resident,” I said with a grin. “Lana, Leliana, and Cullen are here too-this assignment is gonna be quite the reunion for you.”</p><p>“As long as you guys don’t break my house this time,” she said with a laugh. Then she noticed the jar of bees Sera was holding and her eyes grew wide. “Are those…<em> live bees? </em>In a jar?”</p><p>“Course it is,” Sera said with a sniff. “Wut else would it be?” </p><p>“Genius! May I?” Dagna exclaimed, reaching out for the jar. Sera shrugged and the dwarf took the item, looking at it enthusiastically. “This is amazing! How do you keep them so docile in here?”</p><p>“My own special mix,” Sera said proudly, puffing her chest out. “Makes ‘em quiet in the jar, bloody pissed when they get out. Works great to scare the shit out of some bloke who thinks I can’t make them piss their pants like a tot.”</p><p>“How fascinating!” the dwarf gushed, rolling the jar from side to side. “It makes sense- tons of living projectiles, completely unpredictable!” She looked at Sera, curiosity shining on her face. “This is incredible- would you mind if I asked you a few questions and took some notes?”</p><p>“Meh, I ain’t got shit else to do.” She looked at me and I smiled as I headed for the stairs. “Oi! You stayin’ or wut?”</p><p>“Hard pass- I’m gonna go find Ali,” I replied, tapping my head and breathing a sigh of relief- Sera alone was bad enough, but two of them experimenting did not sound like it would bode well for anyone involved. “Just got a message.” </p><p>“Take your weird arse on, then,” she said with a wave, turning back to the dwarf as Dagna began taking notes and trying to unscrew the lid. “I’ll be here.”</p><p>“And I will be far, far away,” I replied, bounding up the stairs two at a time, slamming the door shut just as the swarm began to emerge from the jar. </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Lana made a beeline for Cullen’s room as soon as she returned, barely even noticing the sounds around her. All she could think of was how she was torn between checking to make sure her brother-in-law was ok and slapping him upside the head for letting his condition get this far. <em>If he killed himself over this, it would’ve destroyed Sam,</em> she thought. <em>How could he do something like this to her?</em></p><p>Flinging open the door, she saw a surprised Cass sitting at his desk. “Inquisitor! I wasn’t expecting you-“ </p><p>Shaking her head, Lana began climbing the ladder to the upstairs quarters, trying her best to not grow angrier and angrier by the minute. By the time she reached the top, she found Cullen shirtless in bed, his lower half-covered with a blanket as he sat up and read. When he turned and saw her, he blushed, then smiled at her. “Lana-“</p><p>She didn’t give him the chance to continue- angry beyond measure, she reached over and yanked his ear, hard. “You absolute <em>moron!</em>” Lana yelled. “How could you do something so <em>bloody stupid!</em>”</p><p>Cullen screamed in pain and Cass scurried up the ladder, but Lana was having none of it, tugging on the commander's ear as if she wanted to take it off. “Do you realize you could have <em>died!</em> You’d make my sister a widow because you think your stupid pride is worth more than being honest with her? I have half a mind to kill you myself, Rutherford!”</p><p>“Lana!” Cass yelled, running over to them, “you have to let him go!” She tried to yank her off, but Lana sent a small jolt of electricity through her friend's arm, making the Seeker yelp and leap backward.  </p><p>“I will <em>not!”</em> Lana screamed as she yanked harder, causing Cullen to yowl. “You want to stop taking lyrium- <em>Fine!</em> I hate the Chantry and everything it stands for anyway, so you can go tell the lot of them to take a flying leap for all I care! But if you are determined to do something so Maker-blasted foolish without telling your wife and your sister what you’re doing then I will positively <em>murder</em> you and resurrect your idiot corpse before you can ever do anything this <em>fucking stupid</em> again- <em>do I make myself clear!”</em></p><p>The commander was bright red and screaming in pain, but Lana held his ear steadfast, leaning in his face and pointing angrily. “You are the <em>ONLY</em> one my sister has other than me, and I will be <em>damned</em> if I let you do something to leave this world without telling her, do you understand!” Cullen nodded rapidly and Lana scowled, releasing his ear in a huff. Seeing the redness, she then sent a wave of healing magic over him, causing her brother-in-law to exhale with relief. </p><p>“Lana,” he croaked, rubbing his ear and looking between her and Cass tentatively, “it was not my intention to hurt anyone with my choice- if you desire that I resume taking it-“ </p><p>“Why in the world would I want that?” Lana asked, putting her hands on her hips. “I want you well and I want my sister happy- that is all. If not taking the horrible stuff will do that for you, then I am behind you with my full support. However,” she warned, her green eyes still glinting with fury, “if you <em>ever</em> pull something like this again, I will gather your wife and nug roast you without a second thought!” She huffed, then crossed her arms. “I care about you, you moron,” she said after a moment, sitting on the bed next to him. “I don’t understand- why wouldn’t you talk to us about what was going on?”</p><p>“I…” he hung his head, turning away from her and letting out a deep sigh. “I was afraid you would think less of me.”</p><p>“Never,” Lana said with absolute sincerity. She took his hand in hers and Cullen smiled at her, and he looked like the young man she'd kissed in Kinloch Hold all those years ago. “You're my brother, Cullen- no matter what you do, I will always support you." </p>
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<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Oooh, I love parties</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lana and co get a few important invitations</p>
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<hr/><p>“So,” Dorian asked as we headed to the baths that evening, “when are you two going to announce your upcoming nuptials?”</p><p>Alistair looked at him, then at me- I shrugged. “Don’t look at me- I didn’t even go with Lana.” I laughed as we headed down the steps. “Besides, it’s not like he’s not blind, Ali.”</p><p>“As usual, your sister is correct- I spied a certain Inquisitor sporting a certain piece of special jewelry today,” he twittered as he began to undress and lower his body into the warm water. “My goodness, this feels amazing after the horrible day I’ve had.”</p><p>“Was it really that bad?” I asked, settling into the water and letting out a sigh. “I mean, judging by the reactions around here, fighting a dragon seems to be the shit.”</p><p>“Barbarians, the lot of them,” Dorian huffed. “The way the big lummox was acting, you would have thought he’d gotten a hard-on by the mere thought of it.” </p><p>I let out a barking laugh, then splashed the mage in the face. “Dorian!” I exclaimed, “don’t spring shit like that on me!” </p><p>“Why not- it’s true?” Then he squinted at me and put a finger to his lips. “Don’t take this the wrong way, dear Sam, but why is our dear Commander positively not beside himself with you bathing with us? Aren’t you Southerners more uptight than this?” </p><p>“Why would he be?" I asked, confused at the sudden observation. "I'm wearing underwear, you guys always turn around when I get in, and it’s not like you can see anything- my head barely comes above the water.” Then I looked over at Ali and fought to stifle laughter. “Plus, I traveled with Ali during the Blight, and I’ve seen him naked more times than I ever care to admit- he kind of has a habit of taking his clothes off whenever he feels like it-“</p><p>“Damn it, Sparrow, it was <em>one</em> time! Will no one let me live that bloody spectacle down!” Then he glared at me, handing us each a glass of wine before splashing me in the face with water. “And <em>she’s</em> got a nasty habit of getting piss drunk and needing assistance with even the most basic of bodily functions,” he retorted. “I remember there was this one time we went to a tavern-“</p><p>“Don’t”, I said warningly, glaring at the warden. “If you tell that story, I’ll-“</p><p>He sipped his wine, then grinned at me evilly. “You’ll what? Sit there and pout while Dorian and I sip our wine and laugh? Oh, I’m positively quaking, Sparrow.” </p><p>Dorian sat forward, stroking his damp mustache absentmindedly. “And now I simply must know what happened- you can’t bring up a tale like this and not share the details, Alistair.”</p><p>“The only thing that happened was I got drunk in some shitty little town and…” I stopped, blushing furiously. “… and I couldn’t find a bathroom.”</p><p>“Oh no, that’s not it,” Ali said, ruffling my hair and smirking- I swatted him away. “Sparrow here bursts into the bar, sauced as all get out, and declares to everyone in the bar that she’s ‘gotta piss like a racehorse’. When they all just look at her, she walks out the door, flips up her skirt, and goes right there… at the entrance of the bar!” I hang my head, mortified while Ali laughs uproariously. “I had to dump her in the river and get her cleaned up before anyone else noticed- it was by the grace of the Maker no one knew who we were, or I think the world might have a few different tales to tell about the Savior.” </p><p>“I hate you,” I grumbled, folding my arms. “You’re the worst brother ever, you know that?”</p><p>“I’m the only brother you have in Thedas, which means I am the best brother ever,” he chided, splashing me. Then he held his hand out and gave me a grin. “That being said, may I have some of that soap you use, dear sister?”</p><p>“Fuck you,” I said, but I squeezed a little in his hand anyway. “So, now you know my shame, Dorian. And as for you, I know you’re just not interested in women, so I could strut around completely naked and you wouldn't even bat an eye.”</p><p>At that, the Altus spluttered, almost dropping his glass. “Why- what- what makes you say that?” Dorian said nervously. “I never said-“</p><p>I shrugged. “You didn’t have to. Now I could be wrong, and if I am, I apologize, but I just never got the impression you were into women.” </p><p>“And you… don’t mind?” He asked tentatively, looking between me and Ali. “It doesn’t bother you?"</p><p>“Why would it bother us?” Ali asked, looking at me with confusion. “Is that type of thing something that people usually take offense to?” He turned to me, then sipped his wine. “Do they get upset in your world, Sparrow?”</p><p>“Only the really stupid ones,” I replied, draining my glass and waving it at Dorian for a refill. “You’re one of my best friends- why should who you want to be with bother me?”  </p><p>Dorian poured more wine in our empty glasses, avoiding our eyes. “I… have never had people that didn’t judge me… for my preferences before,” he said carefully. "It is a unique feeling, to say the least.”</p><p>“Well, then you haven’t had a bunch of real friends then,” I replied, giving him a big grin. “The only thing I judge you for is always taking the last glass of wine.”</p><p>“Or stealing the last bit of cheese before Sparrow gets to refill it,” Ali replied. “Or forcing me to do all the dirty work... like waking up Sparrow when we’re traveling- that’s the real travesty, Dorian.”</p><p>“She throws things,” he said with a shrug, then gave us both happy smiles as he sipped his wine. “Can’t have her marring this beautiful body of mine- what’s one more scar on yours, warden?”</p><p>“I hate you,” Ali said with a grin as he splashed the Altus. “Remind me to not include you in our next meeting of the Wine and Cheese club, you uppity git.” </p><p>“You wouldn’t dare,” Dorian replied, relaxing against the wall of the bath. “Apparently, I provide the much-needed culture to these uncouth proceedings.” </p><p>Leaning over, I wrapped an arm around his waist and placed a kiss on his cheek. “Damn right you do, Dorian- left to our own devices, this would be madness, I tell you... madness!”</p><p>“Oh, do shut up, you insufferable girl,” he retorted as he pushed me away from him, causing me to yelp with laughter as I went under the water. </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“So, it appears we have gotten invitations to the ball at Winter Palace,” Josie remarked, staring out at the faces in the War Room. Other than Sam and Leliana, no one looked particularly pleased about this news- Lana had no desire to attend anything in Orlais, and Cullen looked like he would rather fall on his sword than dress up and hobnob with the snotty Orlesians. Alistair and Cassandra just looked plain nervous, as if they couldn’t figure out whether they should be doing something else that would take them both far away from any talk of dancing and balls. </p><p>“And that would be the be the perfect time to announce your betrothal,” Leli said, glancing down at Lana’s ring. “Since it seems you haven’t seen fit to openly divulge that information yet,” she teased. </p><p>“I wasn’t hiding it,” Lana protested. “I’ve just been busy! Sealing rifts and saving the world is hard work! She looked at Cass, who nodded furiously. "It’s much more important than going to some stuffy ball with a bunch of bloody Orlesian busybodies-“</p><p>“Seconded,” Cullen grumbled, crossing his arms. “I have no desire to go to a blasted ball, either.” </p><p>“Then it’s fortunate that this isn’t up to you, isn’t it,” Leliana said, giving the two of them looks that sent chills down Lana’s spine. “Unless you’ve forgotten, the vision of the future you saw showed the Elder One assassinating the Empress, and if I wanted to start chaos, I’d do it in a way so public that all of Thedas would have to take notice… which is a ball.” Then Leli fixed Cullen with a look. “And seeing as how the Inquisition is being led by the former Hero of Ferelden… whom the world believed dead, I think showing our strength would not be the worst thing.”</p><p>Then Josie gave a small smirk as she glanced at Lana and Cullen.  “Not to mention being seen with your significant others might reduce some of these marriage proposals we keep receiving,” she said teasingly. “Answering all of them is starting to become rather exhausting.”</p><p><em>“Excuse me?”</em> Cullen squawked, looking at Josie and Leli- Leli just shrugged, the barest hint of a smile on her lips. “Who is doing such a thing?” </p><p>“Everyone,” the spymaster replied, looking casually at her hand. “Nobles everywhere are trying to win the hand of the Savior and Inquisitor.  I cannot blame them- Lana and Sam are two beautiful and powerful women who are constantly seen saving the world, yes? Why wouldn’t someone want to elevate their station and win their hand?”</p><p>“But Samantha is already married!” Cullen said angrily, looking back and forth between the two women. “How dare they?”</p><p>“How would they know, Commander,” Leli replied slyly. “It isn’t as if there has been any instance where you two have been seen together.” She pursed her lips together thoughtfully, then cut her eyes over to Sam. “Maybe we should let them continue to think-“</p><p>“Absolutely <em>not</em>,” he replied firmly, taking Sam’s hand- Lana noticed that Sam was fighting to keep a smirk off her face, so she chose to remain silent. “Though I think this whole affair is foolish, I will <em>not</em> let my wife attend this charade without her husband.” He looked over at Sam with such intensity that Lana almost felt like she was intruding on the two lovers. “I’ve missed my chance to attend an event without my beautiful wife on my arm once before- I would be an idiot to commit the same mistake again.”</p><p>“Well, we all know you’re an idiot, Rutherford,” Ali said from the corner of the room- Cass elbowed him in the side. “But I think it’d be kinda fun to show those snotty brats that the two wardens that saved their asses are still alive and kicking…” He turned to Lana, and she found herself blushing. “...and <em>together</em>.” </p><p>“Then that settles it!” Josie said, clapping her hands together. “We’ll get on with getting uniforms-“</p><p>“Hold the fucking phone,” Sam said, looking around the room and holding a hand up to Josie. “<em>Uniforms?</em> For a<em> ball?</em> You’re shitting me, right?”</p><p>“Well, no,” Josie said nervously, “I thought that we should have a standard look, to show a unified front-“</p><p>“Josie, I love you to death,” Sam said, crossing her arms and glowering at the ambassador, “but if you try to send me to my first ball in matching uniforms, I promise you I will act like the biggest ass Thedas has ever seen and make you all so fucking ashamed to be associated with me that my ass is going to be talked about across Thedas until the end of time.” The tiny girl looked around the room, her face defiant as she dared anyone to contradict her statement- Lana had no doubt she meant every word, so she kept her mouth shut as the corners of her mouth twitching with laughter. “I want a <em>goddamn</em> dress and I want to look like a motherfucking <em>princess</em>, goddamn it. And I want my sister to look like the goddamn queen!" Sam thrust a finger at Lana while Ali tried his best not to snicker. "She runs this bitch and everyone needs to put some respect on her goddamn name.” </p><p>Then she turned to Leli, grumbling and pulling out her sketchbook. “<em>Uniforms</em>...  goddamn it, no one would ask Beyonce to go to the fucking VMAs in a uniform,” she groused, looking through her drawings and then shooting a look at the spymaster. “Fuck it- I’ll design the motherfuckers myself. All I need is you guys to get me someone that can get this shit sewn together.” </p><p>At that, Leli got a wicked smile and Lana inwardly groaned- she knew that look. “Of course, Sam- I’d be happy for you to assist with designing our looks. However, as your tastes are decidedly… not from here,” Leliana said politely, glancing at Lana and causing Lana to widen her eyes at the spymaster- she could tell where this was going, and she feared it was either going to end in bloodshed or someone hanging from the rafters. “...I fear you might need some assistance in making garments that are appropriate for an occasion such as this.”</p><p>“Sure- as long as I don’t end up looking like a damn nutcracker, I’m down for anything,” Sam replied with a shrug. “I assume we don’t have sewing machines here, so we gotta get started as soon as possible, right?”</p><p>“We sure do,” Leli said, causing Lana to put her head in her hands. “So, since time is of the essence, I’ll tell Vivienne to expect you this afternoon so you can get started.” </p><p>Nervously, Lana looked at Sam, whose mouth was opening and closing like a gaping fish- her sister kept clenching and unclenching her fists, looking like she was having an internal debate and wasn’t liking the outcome in the slightest. If she had to guess, Lana thought the girl was checking thread after thread and not seeing a single outcome that didn’t involve her in a garment she hated or working with the Iron Lady. Personally, Lana would have just taken the uniform, but it seemed Sam’s desire for fashion was taking precedence over her hatred for the Enchanter. </p><p>Lana started to say something to the girl, but Sam just shot her a murderous look, shaking her head. “Don’t… don’t make this worse, Lana. I’m in hell- I’m in my own personal hell, and I can’t see any way out of it,” she said sadly. Then, she took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and stared defiantly at Leli and Josie. “Fine. But I get approval rights, and if I don’t like what she says, I have full authority to tell that bitch to fuck all the way off,” she said firmly. “I’m not having her treat me like her own little miss sweatshop- if that’s what she thinks is gonna happen, then the bitch has another thing coming.”</p><p>“Your conditions are agreeable,” Josie agreed, glancing over at Lana, no doubt making contingency plans in her head for uniforms for when the two women inevitably came to blows. “I’ll make the necessary arrangements.”</p><p>“Well, this should be fun,” Alistair replied from the corner as Sam stomped out of the room. “Anyone want to take bets on who goes nugshit first?”</p><p>“I’ve got 20 sovereigns on Sam lasting an hour,” Cass said quietly, causing Lana to chuckle into her palm. “I’ve seen the two of them together- I assure you, it isn’t pretty."</p><p>“Make it 50 and you’ve got a bet,” Cullen replied, staring after his wife and shaking his head. “We’ll need all the money we can get to cover the damages to the castle."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>When Varric looked up from his papers and saw Hawke strolling into his room, he frowned. “Don’t you ever knock?” </p><p>“When it comes to my oldest friend, then no,” the rogue said casually, plopping down on the bed and staring at Varric with an impish grin. “Have you heard yet?”</p><p>“I haven’t heard anything,” Varric admitted, careful not to look at Hawke. Though the bruise was pretty much gone, he'd been avoiding the Seeker as if his life depended on it. “I’ve been hiding out here all day.”</p><p>“Writing, searching, thinking, he immerses himself in his words, hoping to find the right ones,” Cole intoned from his perch near the window. “Wants forgiveness and friendship, needs things to go back to the way they used to be.”</p><p>“Kid, didn’t we already have a talk about not saying everything others were thinking?” Varric stared at the young boy but sighed when he noticed that Cole looked crestfallen. “You know what, never mind- I would’ve told Hawke all that anyway. He’s my best friend.”</p><p>“What’s that?” Cole asked, his expression curious. “I have not had one of those before.” </p><p>Hawke looked at the spirit boy with interest, extending his hand to Cole with a smile. “That’s because there is no one like me, Cole- the name is Garrett Hawke, and I’ve known this man for longer than people have known his name. Pretty hard not to be best friends when you have a history like that.”</p><p>Cole just nodded sagely, then turned to Varric. “I don’t have any friends,” he said quietly, “but I help.”</p><p>“Nonsense!” Hawke exclaimed, walking over and throwing his arm around the boy. “Anyone who is a friend of Varric’s is a friend of mine. And, it looks as if you’re just as sneaky as I, if not more so- In fact, I’m willing to bet that you could even teach <em>me</em> some tricks!”</p><p>Varric shook his head, laughing at Hawke. “Chuckles, I think the world is safer if you <em>don’t</em> learn anything new- I’m not sure we could take it around here if you got any worse.”</p><p>“But I want to help,” Cole said eagerly, looking at Hawke in admiration. “I can make people forget- they don’t notice me when I do.” </p><p>“Now that is a handy skill,” Hawke replied, looking over at Varric. “C’mon, how can you deny him?” The rogue pointed to the kid and made an exaggerated puppy dog face. “He wants to help, Varric- I say we let him.”</p><p>“You are more trouble than you’re worth, Hawke,” Varric replied with a frown. “Anyway, you burst in here for a reason- what did you want?”</p><p>“To fuck with you, mostly,” he replied, moving back to the bed and putting his feet up. “Also, I'm here to officially inform you that the Inquisition has been invited to the ball at the Winter Palace- looks like these Ferelden boys are gonna get to show these stuffy Orlesians how we do it.” </p><p>“How do we do what?” Cole asked thoughtfully, looking at the two of them. “What is a ball?”</p><p>“Oh, Cole,” Hawke said, folding his hands and placing them behind his head. “A ball is when people get together and dress in fancy clothes and eat horribly extravagant food while pretending to like each other.” He turned his head to face the other two men. “And it’s a veritable <em>feast</em> of gossip! Trust me- with the three of us handsome and dashing rogues on the case, there isn’t a secret in that place that we won’t know about.” </p><p>“I’m like you?” Cole asked, looking back and forth between the two of them, causing Varric to smile. “You want me to go with you?”</p><p>“Of course!” Hawke said, sitting up and looking aghast. At that moment, Varric could kiss the Champion- he’d done more to make Cole feel at home in five minutes than others had this entire time. “You can read people’s thoughts, I’m an absolute delight that can charm the pants off any noble, and Varric is a damn good storyteller- if there’s information to be had, we’re the ones to get it.” Then he tapped his chin with his finger, looking thoughtful. “But, I believe we need a code name, don’t you?”</p><p>“Well, if they can include new folks in Team Mage, then I think we can make the kid an honorary member of the Kirkwall Crew… whatcha think?” He looked at Hawke, who winked. “I always did say we could use a few more members… keeps things fresh, you know.” </p><p>“Missing sunshine and flowers, while longing for stormclouds and pirates, but happy to be with friends both old and new,” Cole said happily. “So I would like to help.” </p><p>“That’s the spirit,” Hawke replied with a laugh. “I’ll let Lana know that the new and improved Kirkwall Crew will be happy to offer their services when we attend the soiree at the Winter Palace.” Then he turned to Varric, a sly grin on his face. “But before we do, don’t you have something you need to get off your heaving, ample bosom first? Something that sings along to the melodies of the heart, and graces her with rays of sunshine that even the darkest clouds could not dim?”</p><p>“You’re a right ass, you know that?” Varric sighed, then brightened as he turned to Cole. “Hey kid, you feel like doing me a favor and going on your first Kirkwall Crew mission?”</p><p>Extending his hand, Cole gave Varric the biggest smile he’d ever seen. “The Seeker will never know I was there,” he replied happily. </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>After days upon days of trying sessions with the Iron Lady, I found myself trapped in her quarters with what I viewed as two very incompetent seamstresses, who seemed determined to treat my body as their own personal pincushion. After being pricked with pins by the tailor for what felt like the umpteenth time in the Iron Lady’s parlor, I squirmed in a desperate attempt to keep my body from looking like Swiss cheese. Next to me was Lana, draped in swathes of fabric- unlike me, they seemed like they were trying to keep her in one piece. </p><p>Apparently, I was supposed to just sit there and take the death by a thousand cuts- the enchanter scowled as I moved out of the way of the madwoman wielding sharp objects. “Will you please hold still!” Vivienne said, her velvety voice tinged with annoyance. "I’ll be damned if I let your incessant fidgeting ruin such beautiful work!”</p><p>Feeling like someone had just scratched a record at a club, I shot a look at Lana, who seemed just as surprised as I.<em> Did she just… compliment me?</em></p><p><em>I think she did,</em> Lana replied, shooting a look at the mage. <em>But in all fairness, the gowns you’ve designed really are gorgeous, Sam. </em></p><p><em>Meh, all I did was sketch out a few things I had saved on my phone,</em> I replied, but I held still and gritted my teeth while the seamstress took more measurements and poked me... yet again. <em>You know she made me change her outfit like fifteen times, right? I wanted to beat the woman with her goddamn hat by the end of it. </em></p><p><em>But you didn’t,</em> Lana thought as she held her arms out, grumbling as the apprentice draped even more swatches of fabric around her. <em>I daresay you’re starting to show growth, dear sister. It’s been quite entertaining to see everyone grumble about how much money they’ve lost on you. </em></p><p><em>You mean those assholes bet on me?</em> I asked, wishing I could just leave a copy of myself to deal with being poked like a voodoo doll. <em>What was the bet? </em></p><p>Lana smirked. <em>That you’d beat Vivienne within an inch of her life if we kept you in a room with her. Let’s just say I’m happy you’ve kept your temper in check, and not just because I want to avoid bloodshed. </em></p><p><em>At least you thought I could do it,</em> I grumbled, relieved that the seamstress had started to put her pins away and was making notes on her piece of parchment. <em>Wait… is that why you agreed to come to these fittings? </em></p><p>My sister shrugged and I scowled at her. <em>Maybe</em>, she replied with a grin. <em>Or, I could just want to spend time with you- I suppose you’ll never know, will you?</em></p><p>“The amount of mana swirling in the air is starting to become quite oppressive,” Vivienne said as she walked over and stared down her nose at us. “What are you two doing over there?”</p><p>“Having a sisterly chat,” Lana replied politely before I could tell the Enchanter to fuck off. “At this point, I’m afraid it’s become a habit,” she said sheepishly. “We mean no ill by it.” </p><p><em>I do</em>, I said as I fought to not roll my eyes. <em>This was an A and B conversation, so she can C her uppity ass on out of it.</em></p><p>Lana let out a guffaw, causing the apprentice to stick her with a pin. “Ow!” she said, rubbing her arm. “Maker, that hurt!”</p><p>“That’s what I’ve been dealing with this whole time- apparently it’s ok to stab the sister, but the Inquisitor gets a little more courtesy.”</p><p>“Beauty is pain,” Vivienne said, touching the swatch of fabric draped on my shoulder and trailing a finger along my exposed skin. “You’d do well to learn to deal with it if you desire to look more like nobility and less like a soldier.”</p><p>I was about to snipe at the woman, but as soon as she touched me I saw a decision that made me gasp and crumple into a heap. Startled, she jumped back, no doubt remembering the time I bestowed the contents of my lunch upon her expensive clothes. However this time, I just hung my head. “Wow,” I moaned. “That’s a bit of a raw deal, even for you, Vivienne.”</p><p><em>Did you just see something?</em> Lana looked at me curiously and when I nodded, her face hardened, and she turned to the seamstresses. “Do you have enough information?” Lana asked curtly. </p><p>The seamstress nodded. “Yes, we-“</p><p>“Good- go see Josephine about your wages, then,” Lana said quickly. "We require you to leave… right now, as the savior is ill and we must see to her.” </p><p>The two women nodded, scurrying out the room. I looked over the threads, then scowled at my sister. “You know they’re running off to tell everyone I’m knocked up, right? You basically just handed them gossip on a silver platter, Lana Banana.”</p><p>Thinking about it for a moment, Lana’s eyes went wide as she helped me to a sitting position. “Oh.” Then she narrowed them at me. “Wait a minute, you aren’t-“</p><p>“I certainly fucking hope not!” I squawked. “I can barely take care of myself, let alone another human being- if there is even a modicum of justice in the world, then I'm praying that my womb is as barren as arctic tundra.” </p><p>To my right, I saw Vivienne’s lips twitch into what on anyone else might be called a smile. “But something has caused you to collapse, Samantha,” she said in a tone that was nowhere near as icy as it was when she usually spoke to me. “Care to explain what you meant earlier?”</p><p>I swallowed, looking at the Iron Lady, then to Lana, who nodded. “When you touched me, I saw the consequences of a decision, Vivienne. One that you’re making- I didn’t expect it because you’re a stone-cold bitch, but it seems you do have a heart after all.”</p><p>“Stop antagonizing her,” Lana said quietly as Vivienne pursed her lips together. “What did you see?”</p><p>“No matter what you choose, he dies,” I replied quietly. “You’re making multiple choices but nothing leads to a different outcome. I don’t know what it is or who it’s about, but I don’t see a path that goes to anything else- I’m sorry,” I whispered. </p><p>After fixing me with a look that could melt steel, Vivienne turned to Lana. “Is she telling the truth? Or is this another one of the little games that she and the elf have designed to toy with me?” </p><p>Lana looked at Vivienne sadly. “I’m afraid not,” she replied, gathering the yards of fabric from her waist and sitting on the floor with me. “Sam sees the consequences of decisions- it appears that you were making or avoiding a very important decision one her to know about it without you asking. My sister is a right asshole a majority of the time, but even she has limits.”</p><p>For a moment, there was the glimmer of emotion on the face of Madame de Fer, and she turned away from us. After taking a deep breath, she turned around and looked at me, her expression unreadable again. “How certain are you about this,” she asked icily. </p><p>“There are no other paths,” I said sadly. “Sometimes, no matter what we try, some outcomes are just fixed,” I replied. “We don’t get to choose, but at least now that you know, you can do something before you have to say goodbye.” I shrugged, then forced myself to be a human and offer the woman a smidge of empathy. “Would it help if you talked about it?”</p><p>“No.” </p><p>“It was worth a shot,” I replied, getting shakily to my feet and turning to Lana, wishing more than anything that I could make a quick exit. “So, on that dismal note, I’ll leave you alone- thank you for your help with the outfits and sorry I couldn’t give you better news on weirdo radio, Vivienne.”  Gathering the pinned fabric carefully so I didn’t end up with any more pinpricks, I headed for the stairs. “I’ll let Josie know that she can get someone else to handle the fittings for the others.” Lana took my hand and we quietly began to head out the room.</p><p>Just as we reached the first stair, there was a loud sigh from behind us. “Wait,” Vivienne called wearily. “I believe I may require your assistance, Samantha."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Cullen stood at the war table, looking at the map intently. “This could be a rare opportunity,” he said to Leliana. “And you’re sure the information is good?”</p><p>“It’s me, Cullen,” Leli said wryly. “What do you think?”</p><p>“I think,” he replied slowly, choosing his words carefully, “that an opportunity to ally with the Qun could prove invaluable if it’s made in good faith. And you say that they asked to speak with Lana and Iron Bull about securing the details of this Alliance?”</p><p>She nodded, folding her hands behind her back and looking thoughtful. “Yes. However,” she said, staring at him, “we should ask Sam about the consequences of such an action- an event like this could have far-reaching consequences that we couldn’t even begin to understand.” </p><p>“I suppose you’re right,” he said with a sigh. “However, I do not know when they shall return from their dealings with Madame de Fer.” Cullen looked thoughtful. “Do you think we should bring in Bull to discuss the offer when they return?” </p><p>“Hmmm…that isn’t the worst idea,” she said as she glanced over her reports. “Maybe he can give us some additional insight into what possible hidden meanings may lie within this request.” Smiling, the Nightingale offered a slender hand to him. “In the meantime, will the Commander accompany me to the garden for a game of chess?”</p><p>He laughed, taking her hand and escorting Leli toward the door. “Well if the Nightingale asks, then I suppose I must,” he said with a grin. “Otherwise I might be afraid she would stab me in my sleep.”</p><p>Laughing, she danced ahead of him, opening the door and offering him a sweeping bow. “Dear Cullen,” she said with a smile, “you know me better than that- why would I wait for you to be asleep to do such a thing?”</p><p>Shaking his head, they started walking toward the garden, causing people to fall over themselves in an effort to avoid the two advisors. “It seems like seeing the two of us in the same place is positively terrifying to our recruits,” Cullen noted as a messenger scurried to get out of their path. “Maker, what have you been doing to these poor souls, Leli?”</p><p>“Me?” Leliana asked innocently. “I seem to recall a very loud and red-faced commander roaring around here like a lion most days- I think you might be selling your presence short, Cullen.”</p><p>Cullen winced. “Was I truly that bad?”</p><p>Leli nodded. “In the throes of your withdrawal, yes,” she said in a voice so soft he could barely hear her response as they settled down at the chessboard. “Since you’ve been open with Sam and Lana, you’ve been a lot more in control lately.”</p><p>“I’ve been sleeping,” he admitted quietly as he set up his pieces. “When Sam is home, I don’t have nightmares- she says that she wards my dreams somehow, and the proper doses of her magic tablets offer a great deal of relief from the headaches and pains. They’re not gone,” he clarified, "but they are manageable. I no longer feel like I’m constantly approaching death’s door."</p><p>“Then that certainly is a positive,” Leli replied as she gathered her pieces and set up her side of the board. “I must admit, I was rather worried about you.”</p><p>He gave a soft laugh, staring at the woman across from him. Somehow, against all odds, this woman had become one of his most trusted friends, and he hated the fact that he'd added her to the list of people he’d made suffer because of his foolishness. “Did you know?” Cullen asked, gesturing for her to go first.</p><p>“Of course I did,” she replied as a slender hand moved a piece across the board, then tapped the table softly. “I’ve known you for years, friend- I can always tell when something’s wrong with you.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you say anything?” He thought for a moment before moving his piece, contemplating the move and the subsequent ones after it. “Did everyone know?”</p><p>“Your wife always knew,” she said, answering his unspoken question and confirming what Sam had told him. “She never knew what exactly was causing your suffering, which makes sense, but she is your better half in every way, Commander.” Her eyes glossed over for a second, then she moved again, smiling as she raised her eyes to his. “I should only be so lucky to find someone who looks at me the way she looks at you, friend.”</p><p>Looking over the board, Cullen smiled to himself, seeing the mistake even if she didn’t yet, and made a move designed to entice his friend. “It might be possible, if you didn’t terrify every person who crosses your path, Leli.” He looked up and gave her a genuine smile. “You know, it’s okay to still be that woman I met all those years ago from time to time- it won’t make you any less dangerous, I promise.”</p><p>She made the move Cullen expected, then gave one of her tinkling laughs. “Cullen, I’m afraid that I haven’t been that girl in so long that I wouldn’t even know where to start,” she replied honestly. “I fear that side is lost to me now.”</p><p>“No,” he replied, taking one of her pieces and causing her to frown. “As long as we remember how we used to be, it’s never impossible. Lana and Ali are a testament to that- Maker knows that the two of them still act like besotted teens around each other.” </p><p>Leli shook her head, smiling as she made her next move, then giving the Commander a devilish grin. “And I suppose you and Samantha are so much better,” she teased. “Even all these years later, you’re still a jealous schoolboy when someone else threatens to give your wife even a modicum of attention.” </p><p>He rubbed the back of his neck and she grinned as he made a hasty move, causing him to silently curse at himself. “I wish I could deny that,” he replied, trying to plot his next move. “But every time I see her, I’m reminded that she could have so much more than me.” Seeing an opening, Cullen made his move then raised his eyes to the spymaster. “And after being apart for so long, I often have to remind myself that this is real."</p><p>“She has exactly what she wants,” Leliana said, frowning at the board as she made her move. “As do you, I would think.” </p><p>“Most of it,” Cullen admitted, setting his final moves in motion. “Though I would hesitate to expect anything more until after this conflict is over.”</p><p>“True,” she replied, squinting in concentration at the board. “Times such as these rarely lend themselves to future planning.” She made a move, then smiled at the commander. “Have you responded to your sister as of yet? I’m sure she’s going to be thrilled to learn you’ve been hiding a sister-in-law from her for a decade.”</p><p>Cullen jerked so hard he almost knocked the remaining pieces off the board. “Shit,” he replied, looking around frantically, then putting his head in his hands. “With all of this going on, it slipped my mind.” He let out a groan as he looked up and frowned at his friend, who looked as though she were a cat who had gotten into a barrel of fresh cream. “I’m a dead man,” he moaned as he took his turn. </p><p>“You would be,” Leliana replied smoothly, “If I hadn’t already sent word that there was news that you had to share with her after the ball at the Winter Palace,” she said casually as she made what appeared to be a good move. “I ever so politely implied that secrets were being kept for the good of the country and to not be too put out with you when you got the chance to write to her.” </p><p>He looked up in amazement, then laughed so loudly he startled a group of birds that were roosting nearby. “Leliana, I adore you, you delightfully sneaky woman,” he said as he moved his piece into play. “And for that brilliant move alone, you have placed me squarely in your debt.” </p><p>“If I recall properly, it was I who was in your debt, Cullen,” she teased. “But as you are such a true friend, you never sought to collect, so I found my own way to repay you.” She smiled at him, the frowned as she stared at the board. “Hmm,” she said, placing a finger to her lips, “It appears I have no other moves.”</p><p>“I know,” Cullen replied with a smile, knocking over her king. “That’s because this is checkmate, dear spymaster.” </p><p>She scowled at the board for a moment before letting out an amused laugh, shaking her head at him and smiling. “So it is, Commander… so it is."</p>
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<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Moves and Choices</h2></a>
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<hr/><p>As they walked Vivienne to the coach, Lana couldn’t help but feel sorry for the enchanter. Eventually, she had informed the two women that her lover, Bastien, was dying- according to Sam, there was no cure for his condition, despite Vivienne's impressive skills. While they walked, the enchanter grilled the girl incessantly, constantly asking questions about potential decisions and the outcomes. Lana could see that Sam was getting annoyed, but to her credit, she was holding her tongue- Lana supposed it was partially due to seeing her own husband ill so recently that made her a bit softer to the mage, but Lana was happy for the slight truce that was occurring between the two women, whatever the reason. </p><p>“And you’re positive a potion made with a Snowy White Wyvern won’t work?” Vivienne asked. “I know that it’s unconventional, but-“ </p><p>Sam smiled sadly as she cut her off. “No, the path still ends there, I’m afraid. She sighed, then looked at Lana for a moment as they passed beneath her quarters. “Wait here for a moment,” she said, holding out a hand. “I’ll be right back.” </p><p>Her sister disappeared, causing Vivienne to look at Lana with surprise. “The girl can fade step? Color me surprised- I didn’t think she had that much talent.”</p><p>Pinching her nose, Lana fought not to roll her eyes at the woman’s rude comment. <em>The intent is not the same as tone, she reminded herself. Morrigan taught you that... if nothing else.</em> “Although Sam is not a mage in the traditional sense of the word,” she said evenly, “her abilities are quite extraordinary, as you have undoubtedly seen.”</p><p>Vivienne sighed. “I mean no disrespect- I just find her methods… <em>unorthodox</em>,” she replied. “It just baffles the mind that one so untrained can rise so high in the ranks of the Inquisition.”</p><p>“She fought the blight and helped save Kirkwall,” Lana said plainly- the woman was trying her patience. “I have learned long ago to never dismiss help, regardless of the form it appears in. That open-mindedness has allowed me to not only meet the love of my life, but also make some of the best friends I’ve ever known.” </p><p>“I suppose you’re right,” Vivienne replied, looking off into the distance. “At any rate, it will give me something to ponder as I set off to be with my love at least one last time.” </p><p>Just then, Sam returned, extending a small basket to the woman. “I.. don’t know exactly what’s wrong with him- I couldn’t see him so I couldn’t diagnose it fully, so I just gave you a few things that might help,” she said softly. “There are instructions on each vial, with how much to give and for what- you might not need them all, but I wanted to send them with you... just in case- I know what it’s like to see a loved one suffer,” she said as she looked away. “I hope it helps.”</p><p>Lana looked at the enchanter, who was now quietly staring at the ground. Vivienne had clutched the basket so tightly her knuckles were beginning to turn white, but she kept her expression flat. “This is quite kind of you, Samantha,” she said stiffly. “You didn’t have to do this.”</p><p>“I know I didn’t,” Sam replied, pausing for a moment and looking away. “But I can see that you’re going to do anything that you can to have a few extra moments with this man, and even you aren’t going to turn down anything that will give him a little peace." She shrugged, shuffling her feet in the dirt. "So if I can give you two that, then I will.”</p><p>“Will it work?” Vivienne asked quietly, looking at the girl for the first time. “Will he be in pain?” </p><p>Sam thought about it for a moment, her eyelids fluttering, and Lana had to turn away to avoid either of them seeing her wipe her damp eyes. “Between these pills and your magic, no,” she replied. “He’s going to pass in your arms, but he won’t be in any pain when he does.” She sniffled and Lana wrapped an arm around Sam. “I wish I could do more for you.” </p><p>“You’ve done more than I would have ever expected,” Vivienne replied as she made her way toward the carriage. “And though it may mean little to you, I offer you my sincere thanks for your efforts- you’ve given me a gift I could never expect to have received from someone I have treated so poorly.”</p><p>“Don’t get it twisted,” Sam said with a sniffle, burying her head into Lana’s arms and trying to muffle her soft cries. “We ain’t friends, bitch- this is just… a cease-fire for the moment.”</p><p>“I would expect nothing less,” Vivienne replied as she stepped into the carriage. "But regardless of the circumstances, you have my thanks, Samantha.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>After I had freshened up in Lana’s room, Leliana knocked on the door and found me curled up in Lana’s lap, with her stroking my hair. “I do hate to interrupt,” she said, looking between us with concern, “but how did everything go with Madame de Fer? I noticed she left on her own accord in a carriage- there is no need for me to do any reconnaissance, is there?” She leaned over and whispered in my ear, but loud enough for Lana to still hear. “Do I need to poison the haughty bitch, because you know I will- I do not tolerate unearned disrespect toward my friends, dear Sam.”</p><p>At that, I let out a laugh, leaning over and hugging the woman. “No murder necessary, Leli- I’m just mad that the bitch has a heart and made me feel bad for her.” </p><p>“Ah, her lover,” Leli said, causing Lana and me to look at her in awe- the spymaster gave a dismissive gesture. “It’s nothing- I would be remiss in my duties if I didn’t keep track of the possible weaknesses of those in my vicinity,” she remarked casually. “But, as much as I hate to trouble you after such a trying day, would it be possible for you both to meet with us the War Room?  We’ve received an offer that I need to discuss with you.”</p><p>“Lead the way,” I replied, sitting up and wiping my face. “You ready, Lana Banana?”</p><p>“It seems that I have no choice but to be,” she replied, letting out a weary exhale and flexing her palm- the excess energy sent chills up my spine as it flowed into my ring and I shuddered, reaching in my bag and pulling out the cookies. Shooting me a smile, she reached over and took one, gesturing to Leli to come and get one if she liked. The redhead smiled, taking a cookie for herself as we walked down the steps, all three of us lost in our thoughts for the moment. </p><p>When we entered the War Room, Cullen, Josie, and Cass were there, along with Bull and Alistair, which was a surprise. “Um, Bull,” I remarked with a smile, “is this room even big enough for you?” </p><p>“Hardly,” he said with a grin. “How you been, Squirt? Haven’t gotten a chance to talk with you lately- I see you’ve been too busy playing dressmaker to have drinks with us.” </p><p>“Keep a cup with my name on it,” I replied, reaching over to hug the Quinari. “You know I love playing Wicked Grace with you and the Chargers.”</p><p>“That’s because you cheat,” he said affably- in response, I gave him a wink, which only made him laugh even more. “Whatever the case, glad to have you with us, Sam.”</p><p>Cullen shook his head as he smiled at me. “I would second that,” he replied. “We require your talents, love.” He turned to Leliana, who nodded. “We’ve received word that the Qun is offering us an alliance.”</p><p>Lana frowned. “You think it’s a serious offer? Should we take it?” </p><p>“I’ll admit, that’s… unusual,” Bull remarked, sounding surprised as he looked at Lana. “They don’t offer something like that lightly, Boss.” He turned to me, fixing me with his good eye. “What do you think, Sparrow? What happens if we take them up on it?”</p><p>I nodded, realizing why I was brought here for this- at this point, I was the life-sized magic eight-ball. Closing my eyes I checked the threads, only to see something that made me cover my mouth in horror. “You can’t take this deal, Lana,” I replied quickly, staring at Lana. “Yeah, they’re serious about it, but it’s a big fuck you to Bull, no matter what.”</p><p>Cullen frowned. “You’re not making sense, love- what did you see?” </p><p>I looked down, playing with my hands nervously and picking at my fingernails. “It’s going to come down to the Alliance or the Chargers,” I said quietly. “I see two paths if we go with this decision- one leads to the death of the chargers and an alliance, the other leads to Bull being an outcast to the Qun.” </p><p>“Tal-Vashoth,” he said quietly, looking at me closely. “For the alliance, they want me to sacrifice my men?” </p><p>“I don’t know if that was the plan,” I said quickly. “But that’s what it’s going to come down to- I only see two choices right now.” </p><p>“Do you see how this happens?” Leliana asked as she looked between me and Lana- I could tell that she was trying to find a polite way to ask me to see what happened in the middle, and I bit back the urge to tell her to stuff it. Upon seeing my expression, the spymaster quickly changed tactics. “Is there anything we can do to stop this from happening?” </p><p>“I don’t know,” I admitted. “With the decisions you’ve made right now, I can only see those two paths- you guys would have to decide something else if I wanted to check out another path.”</p><p>“What happens if I choose to save the Chargers,” Bull said quietly. “Do you see any other paths that can open up from that decision?” </p><p>Checking the threads, I frowned. “I still see the same outcome- you being cast out,” I replied. “But I do see another possible branch- it just doesn’t change the outcome.”</p><p>“Different paths, same destination,” Cullen remarked- he got it. Thankful for his support, I nodded, and he took my hand before speaking again. “Does this new path save anyone besides the Chargers?” </p><p>I nodded. “It uses a shit-ton of magic from me and Lana, but I think it’s going to help in the long run. Don’t quote me on it,” I said quickly, looking at the hopeful faces around the table. Sighing, I glanced at Bull and wrapped my hand in his, feeling extremely small next to the quinari. “No matter what, I’m gonna do whatever I can to save our friends, but ultimately the decision is up to Lana and Bull."</p><p>“You’re a good kid,  Squirt,” he said solemnly, squeezing my hand lightly as he looked at Lana. “And no matter what, I trust the Boss.”</p><p>“And I’m with the Chargers,” Lana said quickly, earning a nod from Bull and me. “Sam, talk to me about this alternate plan- what do we need to do?”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Weeks later the plans were settled, and Bull, Lana, Sam, Hawke, and Alistair were traipsing along the Storm Coast. Looking at everyone’s faces, she could tell that even if they weren’t in the dreary and wet locale, no one would feel at ease about the meeting with Gatt, the Qun representative. If Dorian had hackles, they would surely be raised- even knowing they had no ultimate plans on aligning with the Qun, the mage was positively livid with Gatt. More than once, Alistair had to pull him to the side and talk to him, holding the mage back while he shot daggers at the elf with his eyes. Sam was the only one who was completely silent for once, preferring to not give anything away about herself until it was deemed necessary. Hawke, who had strangely decided to go with, them was uncharacteristically calm, displaying none of the manic energy that Lana had come to see as his trademark- he wasn’t her first choice for the mission, but Sam had insisted. Any other time Lana would have questioned her motives, but she was not inclined to argue with the girl when it came to something as delicate as this. </p><p><em>I hate this waiting,</em> she said in Lana’s head. <em>I also feel like shit that I can’t talk to Dorian directly- I feel like I’m leaving him out. It’s also killing me to have Hawke this close- I keep waiting on him to go absolutely apeshit and ruin everything.</em></p><p><em>You invited him,</em> Lana teased, trying to stop herself from smiling. <em>Besides, you can give our cousin a bit of credit,</em> she replied as she glanced at Hawke. <em>In addition, Ali is translating for you, so if this goes as we hope, Dorian should forgive the slight soon enough.</em></p><p><em>You must be talking about a different Dorian,</em> Sam replied with the ghost of a smile as she walked with the two men, holding Dorian’s hand. To Lana's surprise, Dorian wasn’t sniping directly at Bull for once, which meant that he had to be feeling extremely on edge about this whole affair. Lana, however, was nervous- Sam had told them the outcome, but not how things would occur, which meant that though she wanted certainty, she had to wait for the point Sam saw in her vision to arrive. </p><p>Thankfully, Gatt was talking with Bull, so he didn’t notice that Lana was barely listening to the conversation. Ever so often she would look over at Alistair, who would toss her a reassuring smile in return- Sam had assured her that the plan would work, but she was still uneasy. Soon they stopped and Lana watched as Sam’s face began to tighten- <em>we must be at the point she saw in her vision,</em> Lana thought.</p><p>“We need to make sure the dreadnaught can dock,” Gatt was saying. “But we have to attack the Venatori on both shores.” He looked at Bull, then over to the Chargers. “Do you think your men can handle one of the sites while we handle the one up here?”</p><p>Lana shot Sam a look, afraid that the girl was going to say something that would give them away, but she said nothing, standing quietly and looking patiently at Bull and Krem. Swallowing, Lana looked over at Bull, who was nodding and moving to brief Krem on the plan. </p><p>“Okay,” Bull announced. “Krem is going to lead the second party while we attack up here. That should be-“</p><p>“No,” Sam said quietly. “Inquisitor, I think you should go with the Chargers.” She shot Lana a calm look, her expression giving nothing away. “Hawke can help us up here, but the Chargers need you down there."</p><p>Surprised, Gatt looked at Bull, then cocked his thumb at Sam. “Hissrad, who is this girl? Why is she making decisions for the Inquisitor?” </p><p>“She’s an advisor and strategist,” he lied smoothly. “And if she says this is the best play, then I think we need to listen.” He looked over at Lana, who nodded. “You willing to get your hands dirty with the Chargers, Boss?” </p><p>“Bull,” she replied as she looked over at the Chargers, “I’m always ready to go horns up.” Lana turned to Hawke- the only indication that he thought something might be amiss was a slight widening of his eyes that she might have missed if she didn’t know the man better. “Keep them safe, Hawke,” she said seriously. “While I’m gone, you’re in charge… is that clear?” She turned to Alistair, then gave her fiancé a nod. “Warden Alistair, I’m leaving you as second-in-command- you know what to do.” </p><p>He nodded, and his expression was a mix of fear and determination. <em>He’s losing his shit,</em> Sam said in her mind as she began to walk down the embankment with Krem. <em>Got a message for him? </em></p><p><em>Tell him we’re going to have a wonderful dinner at home when all this is over,</em> she thought, forcing herself to not look back at her family. <em>I’m going to steal all your cheeses and the hot dogs and we’re going to have a veritable feast. </em></p><p>
  <em>What you're going to have is a fucking nightmare, Lana Banana- with that man, that combo is deadly. Dude, Sera could bottle that smell up and destroy an army with it.</em>
</p><p><em>Don’t make me laugh,</em> Lana said, the corners of her mouth twitching.<em> I’m supposed to be the stoic leader of the Inquisition forces, remember? </em></p><p><em>Oh, I remember,</em> Sam replied with a smile in her voice. <em>Looks like Krem wants your attention, Lana.</em></p><p>Looking up, she saw the young man staring at her intently. “So, the Boss is fighting with us today,” he said with approval. “What’s your plan, Inquisitor?”</p><p>She shook her head. “This is your show- I’m here as support,” she replied as she glanced at the rest of the Chargers, who were all getting ready for battle. “Just here to make sure everyone gets home safe, that’s all.”</p><p>“Ah,” Krem replied, giving her a look that meant he knew something was amiss but was wise enough to not question it. “Well, just follow my lead and get in where you can, Inquisitor- we’re happy to have you with us.”</p><p>“You have no idea,” she muttered as she trudged toward the Venatori encampment. “Let’s just hope my sister does.”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Just as I had seen earlier, the Venatori were much more numerous than Gatt had led us to believe. Throughout our travels, I had been checking the threads and hoping for a different outcome, but every path I searched was the same as before- the threats of death or banishment loomed large once Lana left and the only path that remained was banishment. Personally, I was of the same mind as Dorian- the Qun sounded like a bunch of Borg-based dicks, so I wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about the thought of throwing our lot in with them. Couple that with the fact that I had seen what they would do to the Chargers, and you had a grade-A case of me wishing they’d just go and suck a fat one far, far away from me. </p><p>I’d chosen Hawke for this mission on purpose- whatever else I might think about my cousin, he was a damn good leader and fighter. While Ali would probably have been Lana’s first pick, I knew this was too important to have him freeze or try to do something heroic. Like it or not, Hawke was the better choice, so I had swallowed my pride and went to find him after the meeting, catching him as he sat on the ramparts, quietly staring off into the distance. </p><p>“Looking for someone?” I asked, shoving my hands in my pockets, unsure as to how to start a conversation with a man I’d been angry at for years. “Seems like a hard place to have a conversation, huh?”</p><p>He’d looked over at me, a slightly bemused expression on his face. “It would be if they were around to hear it.” Then he sighed, sitting down next to the wall and turning to look at me. “What’s so important that it brings my little cousin out here to chat with the scourge of Thedas?”</p><p>Feeling like an absolute dick, I’d sat down next to him, staring up at the sky. “I need to ask you a favor,” I told him, my face flushing with embarrassment- I knew I’d treated him badly, but I was out of options. There were no other options for us- I only saw this working with him, and if he decided against it, a lot of people would die during this mission. </p><p>He paused, looking at me for a moment- most likely trying to see if this was some kind of trick. When he’d searched my face and only found traces of humble pie, he reached over and squeezed my shoulder. “What do you need, cousin?”</p><p>Wide-eyed, I’d stared at him in shock. “You’re going to help me? Just like that?” I’d gaped at him with my mouth open so wide that I was pretty sure someone could use me to catch flies. “But I’ve been an absolute shit to you!” </p><p>“Yes,” he agreed, “but you’re also family. And I know that if it was something that made you come up here to seek me out, then it had to be a damn good reason,” he said to me with a smile. “So, dear cousin, you have successfully caught my attention... what can I do for you.”</p><p>“I need you to come with us on a mission,” I told him slowly, watching as the wheels started to turn in his head, “and I need the Champion of Kirkwall when you do.”<br/>
—<br/>
As Lana walked away, I heard Ali’s voice in my head as Gatt practically stared a hole in my head. <em>Are you sure about this, Sparrow? </em></p><p><em>Positive,</em> I replied, watching my sister until I couldn’t see her anymore. <em>Long as Hawke steps up and keeps you guys safe up here, this works.</em></p><p>Ali frowned, causing Dorian to poke him angrily- giving him a sheepish grin, he leaned over and began whispering to the Altus, who snickered. Clearing his throat and trying to put on his serious face, Ali turned to Hawke. “What are your orders?” </p><p>“Clear out these Venatori,” Hawke said firmly, staring at Gatt, who nodded. “It won’t do for us to have the Inquisitor finish the ones at the shore off only for us to be overrun up here.”</p><p>Closing my eyes unnecessarily but wanting to play the part, I pointed to the trees. “The Venatori are just beyond that sightline,” I said in my most mystical voice, which only made Bull raise an eyebrow at me. “The battles will start soon.”</p><p>“Are the Chargers in position?” Bull asked, glancing between me and his contact and readying his weapon. From behind me, Ali and Dorian were preparing as well, so I moved behind them and out of view of the Ben-Hassrath representative. “We all set?” </p><p>“Ready,” Hawke replied looking at all of us with a serious expression. “Let’s clear this camp.”</p><p>We charged over the ridge, with me trying my best to stay out of the way of the fighting. Through glimpses, I was able to check on Lana, who was doing just fine with the Chargers- I knew we weren’t at the tipping point yet, so I wasn’t worried about them at all. However, Ali would look over at me between bouts, and I would reassure him that all was well, allowing him to take up his mantle with renewed vigor. In addition, Bull and his friend were decimating the Venatori troops- seeing them fight together was so impressive that if I didn’t know the outcome, I might have been tempted to honor their offer.</p><p>Soon, as if I was in a waking dream, we came to the cliffside I’d seen in my vision, where a Dreadnaught was rolling in the waves and being attacked by Venatori troops. The number of Venatori was massive, and I could see why the decision had to be made- with numbers like that, there was no way the Chargers would survive an onslaught like that. Looking around at the faces of our companions, I saw that same fear that I felt- despite knowing the outcome, no one was acting, which was a good thing.</p><p>“We have to pull them back!” I screamed, giving Hawke a wild-eyed look. “They can’t survive that!”</p><p>“They’re soldiers!” Gatt shot back. “They knew what they were doing when they went down there- if they leave, that Dreadnaught is lost!”</p><p>My ire shot through the roof and I had to pull my temper back, forcing myself to see his decision- when I settled on a thread, my eyes went wide for a moment, then narrowed. “You knew,” I said angrily. “You knew the bulk of the forces were down there.” He started to say something, but Ali stepped to my side, fingering his sword and staring at the elf menacingly. “Hawke, get our forces out of there,” I growled. "Now!"</p><p>Playing his part perfectly and appearing to weigh all options, Hawke looked at Bull. “These are your troops, but these are your people, Bull-“</p><p>Bull put a hand up to stop him before he could continue, looking sadly at Gatt. “I'm getting our people out of there, Hawke.”</p><p>“The Qun are your people!” Gatt screamed. “You’d leave your people to die for a few soldiers that knew the risks? You’d be willing to toss away an alliance?”</p><p>“MY SISTER IS DOWN THERE!” I screamed, lunging for the elf- Ali caught me, swinging me away from him at the last minute. “Bull, if you don’t sound that fucking retreat I’m going to make a goalpost out of your goddamn skull!”</p><p>He looked at me and then turned to Hawke, giving him a nod as he reached for his horn. Just before he could put the horn to his lips, Gatt reached for his arm. “Hissrad! If you do that, you’ll be Tal-Vashoth! Are they worth it?” </p><p>“His name,” I said through gritted teeth as I strained against Ali, “is The Iron Bull. And he’s special to us!” I tossed a look at Bull, pleading with him- he had to save his team… he had to. “Blow that goddamn damn horn, Bull!”</p><p>“You got it, Squirt,” he replied sadly, putting the horn to his lips and blowing, the sound carrying across the wind to his troops below. Turning to Ali, I gave him a look and stormed off- that was my cue to head over to Lana. <em>Coming</em>, I told her as I watched the Chargers retreat from the beach. <em>You ready to show these motherfuckers how Team Mage does it? Do you want original recipe Venatori or extra crispy, Lana Banana? </em></p><p><em>Extra fucking crispy,</em> she thought angrily, channeling her magic as she waited for me. <em>This is my team- no one messes with them. </em></p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Alistair looked at Dorian in horror as he saw the Chargers pulling back from the shoreline and Gatt throwing a fit behind him. “You idiot!” Gatt yelled as he leaned into Hawke’s face. “You just threw away an alliance with the Qun! You were the acting Inquisitor- you could have-“</p><p>“I could have saved my cousin,” he said calmly, giving the elf a look that would cut glass. “And I did. Not to mention we just saved the world, unless the Qun have a means of closing rifts at their disposal that I don’t know about.”</p><p>Stunned by the news, Gatt opened his mouth and started to say something, but a look from Dorian made him reconsider his words. Angrily, he turned to Bull. “Hissrad-“</p><p>“Like my sister said,” Alistair replied through gritted teeth, “his name… is Bull.” Just as he was about to stalk forward and give the elf a piece of his mind, he heard a prickle in his head and snapped his attention to the shore. <em>I’m here,</em> Sam said in his head. <em>Get ready- make sure that motherfucker sees this. </em></p><p>“Wait- why isn’t Lana moving?” Alistair asked, knowing his time was coming. He raced over to the edge, the others following suit- sure enough, Lana was staring down an army of Venatori, her mark flaring and sending green sparks in the air.  Even though he knew what was happening, he couldn’t stop the panic creeping into his voice as he saw his beloved, her red hair whipping in the breeze as the army approached. “LANA!” </p><p>Suddenly, the air felt charged with electricity, and Alistair instantly knew what the rest of Sam’s plan was- wide-eyed, he turned to Dorian and Bull. “Dorian, give us a barrier, NOW!” The mage nodded, conjuring a barrier around the men as the sky turned dark- Alistair hoped the Chargers were far enough away to not feel the effects of what Lana was planning on raining down upon them.</p><p>Despite seeing the effects of the bomb-dot-com before, this display of magic was like nothing Alistair had ever seen- Sam was still hidden, but Lana had sent out a pulsating shockwave of green light, knocking everyone in their direction backward. As he watched every single Venatori on the beach crumble to ash, Alistair looked over at Hawke, who was staring at the scene in open-mouthed horror. </p><p>“You were right about one thing,” Sam said from behind him, staggering to her feet. “There will be no alliance. I hear the Inquisitor in my head- she sends a message to you, Ben-Hassrath.” She fixed her strange green eyes on Gatt, which caused the elf to lurch backward as he tried to get away from her. “Those that would leave our friends to die do not deserve our loyalty,” Sam said in a toneless voice, her eyes distant. “The Inquisition seeks allies, not petty tyrants that try to force the hand of fate. Leave now with your ship and your lives, and trouble us no more.” Then her head drooped and she started to slump forward, causing Ali to rush and catch her before she hit the ground. Alistair was pretty sure that she wasn’t even pretending this time- a display like that had to use up quite a bit of her reserves, so he gently sat her down and looked at the others. </p><p>Walking over to Sam’s side, Bull picked up the girl and looked at Gatt, who was creeping away as quickly as he could. “You heard the woman,” the Quinari said quietly as he cradled Sam in his arms. “The Boss says no deal.” Then Bull turned to the others, who were watching in awe as Lana and the Chargers made their way slowly toward them, all their faces grim. “Besides, I think it’s time we all go home."</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>That evening in Skyhold, Lana was sitting in the Herald’s Rest with her companions- Bull had walked over to chat with the Chargers, leaving her alone with the others. Dorian had insisted on a drink immediately upon returning, and Lana could find no fault with his request, especially not after the day they’d had. </p><p>“Though I don’t particularly care for the big ox,” Dorian said as he looked over at Bull, who was clinking glasses with Krem, “do we want to make sure he’s ok?” He took a drink of his wine, then drummed his fingers on the table thoughtfully. "The Qun aren’t exactly the type to let one go without some sort of a fuss, you know.”</p><p>Sam frowned, staring over at the captain of the Chargers and watching as Bull laughed at something a bit too loudly to be sincere. “He’s resigned,” she said sadly. “Bull has accepted that it’s his fate to be the outcast-“</p><p>“Tal-Vashoth,” Dorian corrected. When Alistair gave him a look of surprise, he just sipped his wine. “What? Is it my fault I remember what he said?” </p><p>“No,” Hawke replied, taking a large swig of his ale. “Don’t mind this big lug, Dorian- if it’s not fighting or my cousin, he can’t be bothered to remember anything.” He cut his eyes at the warden, the gestured to the ring on Lana’s hand. “I used to think him stupid for pining after a dead woman, but it turns out he was right all along- go figure."</p><p>Alistair opened his mouth to offer a retort, but Sam placed a hand on his arm and shook her head. If it had been anyone else, Lana would have been out of her mind with jealousy, but she knew that her sister and Alistair shared a bond that even she couldn’t understand- they’d had ten years together that Lana would never get back. Even so, Lana felt a twinge in her gut when she saw the looks that Ali, Dorian, and Sam shared- seeing how close they were made her feel like the odd one out. Looking over at Bull, Lana could easily imagine how he felt- though he was surrounded by friends and chosen family, there was always something that would prick at the back of your mind, always reminding you at the most inopportune moments that you could never go home again.</p><p>Her decision made, Lana pushed out her chair and stood up, placing a quick kiss on Ali’s cheek. “I’m going to go over and have a chat with Bull,” she said to the others at her table. “For the love of the Maker, don’t get into too much trouble while I’m gone."</p><p>“I make no promises,” Hawke replied, but when Lana glowered at him, he let out a laugh and patted her hand. “Oh fine- I suppose we can act like respectable folk for a few minutes. But if they start anything, I reserve the right to finish it with a flourish and style- I still have to uphold the Amell name, after all.”</p><p>“I’d expect nothing less,” Lana said with a laugh, crossing the room and heading over to the Charger captain.</p><p>When she got to Bull, he had not only known she was coming, he had ordered a drink for her and cleared a seat. “Hey, Boss- figured you’d be over soon enough.”</p><p>She shook her head and smiled, taking the drink while she settled next to him. “How are you doing, Bull?”</p><p>He gave her a slight shrug, looking over at his team, who was being regaled by a story from Stitches. “Better than I thought I would be,” he admitted. “Thought this would hurt a little more… but it doesn’t.”</p><p>“That’s because you’re with family,” she replied, looking over at the Chargers. “It makes it easier. Not that being cast out doesn’t hurt,” she said, looking down at her hands, “but having people you care about around you helps."</p><p>“Wise words,” he said thoughtfully, looking as if he were scanning the bar for something. “Sounds like you’re talking from experience, Boss.”</p><p>“Yes, I suppose I am,” Lana said quietly. “I don’t have much of a real family anymore either,” she said after a moment, finishing her drink and setting the cup on the table. “Not the traditional one, at any rate. Other than Hawke, my family has chosen me… and I think I’m okay with that.”</p><p>Bull laughed, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Similar indeed.” He stood up, then offered a hand to her. “Care to join me for a walk, Inquisitor?”</p><p>She looked up at the massive man, then took his hand and rose to her feet. “I’d be happy to, though I don’t know how enjoyable my company will be. Fun and merriment is my sister’s department, Bull.” </p><p>“I know who I’m asking,” he said with a smirk. “Besides, I think you’re selling yourself short, Boss- I think you got a lot more going for you than you think.” </p><p>“I’ll take your word for it,” she replied as they walked out of the bar and into the chilly night air, causing Lana to rub her arms to fight the chill. “I’m not terribly social on the best of days,” she said as they walked around the grounds, the twilight settling around them like a shroud. “If I’m being honest, I’d say I'm a terrible friend and sister.”</p><p>“What makes you say that?” Bull asked, turning to look at her before staring off into the distance. “Seems like you’re doing just fine to me.”</p><p>“I…” She sighed, looking down at the ground. “I have a new family and I don’t know how to deal with it,” Lana said finally. “I have sisters now, but… how do you talk to someone you’ve never met? How do these people who’ve never met me care about me so much when my own flesh and blood cast me out like garbage?” She kicked a pebble with her foot, watching it skip along the road. “My fiancé and sister are closer with people here than I am, and though I know I shouldn’t be, I find myself jealous of them…but truth be told, I’ve always been a little jealous of Sam,” she admitted, disgusted with herself for voicing her hidden anguish. “She gets to <em>be</em>, and I get to lead… she gets to have her love and enjoy it, while I get to serve and do my duty. She got ten years with the love of my life while I had to perish for a country that hates me,” Lana said bitterly. “How can I not be somewhat upset?”</p><p>“And your sister got to watch the person she loved the most die right in front of her,” Bull pointed out. “She had to comfort the man who lost the love of his life and live in the shadow of a dead woman for those ten years.” He paused, leaning against a wall and gesturing to a spot next to him. “Though you got both your eyes, it seems like you’re seeing only part of the picture, Boss.” Lana let out a sigh, and Bull pulled her in for a hug. “It’s okay,” he said in a low voice. “You’re allowed to be a bit angry now and again- it’s good for you. Maybe I should show you how we deal with some of these feelings sometimes.”</p><p>Lana twisted her neck to look up at him. “I’m engaged to be married, Bull.” </p><p>At that, he threw back his head and let out a bellowing laugh. “Not what I was referring to, Boss- though now that you mention it, I might need to handle that soon.” Bull looked over at her, then shook his head good-naturedly. “I was talking about a sparring match- work through some of that tension.” </p><p>Feeling foolish for her assumption, Lana looked away. “Oh,” she said simply. “Of course you were.”</p><p>“No need for that,” Bull said, squeezing her shoulders, making her instantly feel better about her gaffe. “And as for that family of yours, you can send them letters, right?” </p><p>“I can,” she said, twisting her hands. “Grace has requested that I send her a letter, and my nephew has sent me a gift, but I’ve yet to reply.” Lana looked down, feeling foolish- she’d come over to comfort Bull, but he’d ended up being the one to soothe her nerves. “I fear I don’t know what to say- how do you compare to the person that someone crossed the universe to save?”</p><p>“I suppose she could ask you the same thing,” Bull replied, staring off into the distance, then turning to give her a knowing look. “Considering that Sam is now here with us permanently and not with her.” </p><p>“Once again, you see more than I ever could,” Lana said as she let out a loud sigh. “I was supposed to be out here comforting you, Bull- how did this turn into you comforting me?”</p><p>“I’d say you did just fine,” he said with a smile as he escorted her back to the tavern. “It’s not always about saying or doing the right thing, Boss- sometimes it’s just nice to know that you aren’t alone."</p><p>--</p><p>After Ali was asleep, Lana stole over to her desk and settled into her chair, more determined than ever to be a better sister and earn her place in the family. Remembering her conversation with Bull, she pulled out a sheet of parchment and one of the pens Sam had left for her from a drawer and began to write a letter to her older sister for the first time. </p><p>
  <em>Dearest Grace,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hope you can forgive my lack of correspondence- I seem to have lost the ability to form words outside of nattering with nobles about nothing and issuing battle orders. Honestly, I’m not sure what to write- how does one like me compare with someone you’ve had a lifetime with? Just know that my silence is not a reflection toward you- I find myself in a constant state of shock that I’ve found this new family that loves me, as it’s everything I’ve ever wanted but I don’t know what to do with it.  But, instead of being hesitant and stand-offish, which is my default, I’m going to try something different and reach out to you today. Forgive me if my tone is too familiar, but I feel like I know you- I’ve heard so many stories about you and your relationship with Sam that I’m somewhat envious. However, we will never get to know each other if I don’t try, so I beg of you, please bear with me as I clumsily try to come up with something worthy of the sister I’ve never met. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Where to start?  I’m not sure what Sam has told you, but we are in the midst of a war- I fear that in trying to lead everyone, I am remiss in being a good sister, both to you and our Sam. However, she’s doing fine- her husband is finally doing right by her and acknowledging our wonderful sister as his wife, and she’s found friends here- my betrothed, Alistair and Dorian, a mage from Tevinter, seem to get along famously. In fact, they are so close that I am often the odd one out, but I suppose that is what happens when you spend your day engaged in politics instead of having drinks and conversations. I’ve been recently appointed Inquisitor, which to me feels like a fancy way of saying I’m the face of this little movement and if something goes wrong, the people have a clear person to stone. From what I’ve heard, it appears that you are also involved in politics- if it’s not too much trouble, do you have any advice for me? How do you stay sane when the weight of the world is on your shoulders? In addition, we have a cousin here- Garrett, who Sam met in Kirkwall, who has arrived to serve the Inquisition, which has put Sam out to no end. Do you have any idea why? I’ve tried to inquire about what has caused her ire with him, but the only answer I ever receive from Sam is a huff and a scowl.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>On a lighter note, may I offer my congratulations on your healthy and beautiful family? Please, send my love to Shaun and Jenny- I’ve never been an aunt before, but I’m positively giddy at the idea of having children in the family to spoil and shower with gifts. In addition to this note, I wish to send this peace offering to my nephew, who was so kind as to send us these wonderful figurines and bracelets- I wear my gift every day, and the tiny statue sits on my desk, a proud reminder that for all my faults, there are people across the stars that love us and wish us well. Please let him know that his aunt has fought a dragon, and brings him this tooth as a reminder of how his gifts have given us the courage to be victorious in battle. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>With love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lana </em>
</p><p>—</p><p>Feeling incredibly awkward at sending such an intimate note to a woman she’d never met, Lana dropped the dragon’s tooth into a pouch and called out softly to Baron Plucky, hoping the bird would still be awake. She wanted to send the letter out before she lost her nerve, and she feared if he didn't come quickly, she'd be tempted to toss the missive into the hearth.</p><p>But just as she was putting away her materials, Lana heard the soft rustling of wings and turned to see the bird staring at her, his bright red eyes shining in the moonlight. Being careful not to move too suddenly, she padded over to the windowsill, smiling at the bird in greeting. “Hello, Baron Plucky,” she said quietly, “If it’s not too much trouble, would you be able to take this message to Grace for me?”</p><p>The bird let out a soft caw as it hopped closer to her, first looking down at his feet, then back to Lana.</p><p>Confused, she stared at him for a moment, then her eyes widened in understanding. “Oh, you want me to tie this to your feet?” </p><p>In response, the bird nodded, causing Lana to peer at him in amazement as she tied the parcels to his legs. “My word,” she breathed. “What are you... really?” </p><p>Baron Plucky looked around, his eyes lighting on a pile of ashes scattered around the fireplace, then hopped over to the sooty floor.</p><p>As Lana’s eyes grew wide, the bird began scratching in the dirt… revealing the word <em>More</em>… in Sam’s language. </p><p>“More,” Lana said thoughtfully. “More than just a bird?” When he nodded, Lana felt her breath hitch in her throat. “Are you human?” The bird paused, then turned back to the ashes, scratching something else on the ground before flying away, leaving a stunned Lana standing in the middle of the room.</p><p>Feeling as if she was in a dream, Lana walked over to the fireplace and kneeled in front of the ashes, feeling woozy when she read the message the bird had left for her. It was enough to knock the wind out of her, and she vowed to have Sam with her when the bird returned.</p><p>In the ashes, the bird had written one word, his meaning unmistakable.</p><p><em>Once</em>.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. A trio of sisters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sam has a hangover; Lana gets a letter</p>
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    <p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>No matter how you tried to look at it, I had a hangover. </p><p>As the bright light spilled through the hole in the ceiling, I groaned and rolled over to try and drown out the blinding rays of the sun. Desperately, I felt around the bed for my husband, hoping that he would be there and could give me an Advil and a glass of water so I wouldn’t have to face the day like this. However, he was nowhere to be found, which wasn’t surprising since the sun was way too high in the sky for Cullen Rutherford to remain in bed- he had troops to torture. So, out of options other than getting up and taking care of myself, I reached out with my locket, and called out to my sister, hoping she was around and could save me from the aftereffects of my night of stupidity. <em>Lana</em>, I croaked. <em>Are you around? </em></p><p>“I’m downstairs!” I heard her call out, making me raise my head in alarm. However, as soon as my head left the pillow, I realized the error of my ways- instantly, the room began to spin and I flopped back against the bed, feeling as if I was dying a slow death. “I’m not long for your world,” I groaned. “Send wine as a parting gift, please.”</p><p>“Wasn’t it the wine that got you into this state in the first place?” Lana asked as she climbed the ladder with a mug of tea and my first-aid kit, sitting it on the nightstand next to me as she sat on the edge of the bed. “I must say, you look a fright, Sam.”</p><p>“I feel like one,” I muttered as she ran her hand over my head, sending just enough healing magic to ensure sitting up wasn’t a herculean endeavor. Sighing happily at the minimized throbbing in my head, I leaned over and hugged Lana, closing my eyes and resting my head against her side. “You… are the best. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” </p><p>“I’ll take the compliment, though I know it was made under duress,” she said lightly as she reached over and handed me the kit and the tea. “Now that I assume you are not dying, do you have a moment for some conversation? I feel like unless I’m questioning you about a life or death matter, I never get to talk to my sister anymore.”</p><p>“Lana, for you I have all the minutes,” I replied honestly. “I always want to talk with you.” Feeling the dull throb in my head start to return, I unscrewed the cap of the medicine and amended my statement. "Well, not when my head is trying to run away from my body, but you get the idea.”</p><p>“As to be expected,” Lana replied casually. “So, I just wanted you to know a few things, namely that I wrote to Grace last night. And,” she said, looking around the room furtively, a devious smile creeping across her face. “I wanted to let you be the first to know that no one has seen Dorian this morning… or Bull.”</p><p><em>That</em> made me shoot straight up in bed, forgetting the pain in my head for a moment. “Are you shitting me? <em>Dorian</em> and <em>Bull</em>?"</p><p>She nodded with a smirk. "Ali told me last night- he said he saw Dorian slink off to Bull's quarters as he was carrying you out of the bar. I'd say this might be a very interesting development, don't you?"<br/>
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</p><p>"Oh, that's for damn sure." I gave a soft snort, then gently shook my head. "I so need details about this. If that shit went down, then I'm <em>really</em> starting to question how much we drank last night.”</p><p>“Well,” Lana said, putting a finger to her lips and trying not to laugh, “I’ll put it like this- if Ali wasn’t a warden, I suspect you’d still be in the tavern right now.” </p><p>“Can't argue with that,” I said, finally taking the tablets and washing them down with the foul-tasting tea. “Ugh, that shit is horrible- what did you do?” </p><p>“Be lucky it wasn’t the green sludge Solas gave me,” she chided. “Drink it all- it’s to help with the aches of your revelry.” I scowled at her but sucked down the tea as fast as I could, quickly giving her back the cup. “Good,” she said as she checked to make sure I had drunk what I should, “now that we've taken care of business, we can have ourselves a chat.”</p><p>“I thought we already were,” I replied as I made my way over to the face bowl and prepared to brush my teeth. “Also, why are you here so goddamn early?”</p><p>“Ali warned me what shape you were in,” Lana replied. “And I figured the least I could do was be here to help in the morning since the two of them headed off to train the troops. Besides, we don’t have any meetings today, so why not spend the time with you?”</p><p>“We don’t?” I replied, mouth full of toothpaste. After spitting out the foam and rinsing my mouth, I stared at Lana. “That’s new- what the hell are Leli and Josie up to?”</p><p>“The ball,” she said plainly. “It appears that I have to make an ass of myself in front of the whole royal court and dance at this bloody affair, so we all have dancing lessons today.” She crossed her arm, looking like a petulant child as I washed my face. “Please tell me you’ll be participating with me, at least.” </p><p>“I don’t mind dancing,” I said, drying myself off. “Used to always dream I’d get to go to prom. Sadly, no one wanted to go with the creepy girl, so I stayed home and watched cable instead. It didn't matter- Hallmark movies were way better than some stupid dance, anyway.” </p><p>“Well, it looks like you’ll be getting your fill of frilly dresses and pandering,” Lana grumbled. “I, on the other hand, would rather study. Or be mauled by a pack of wild dogs if that’s the other option.” She flopped on the bed with me and I giggled, leaning back against my pillow. “This whole event sounds like a recipe for absolute disaster.”</p><p>“I don’t know about that,” I replied, closing my eyes to block out the bright light. “I think it’ll be fun- us getting all dressed up with gorgeous men on our arms, eating tons of fancy food, and dancing to wonderful music.” I let out a happy sigh at the thought. “Come on, even you have to admit- it’s gonna be fun to be treated like a princess for a night!"</p><p>She rolled her eyes. “You realize that this is Orlais, Sam- that place is the capital of backstabbing, lying, and deceit.” Lana started to give me a frown but I tickled her, causing her to burst into loud, snorting laughter. “Stop! Stop that this instant!” She began to swat at my hands, then started to tickle me back, causing me to shriek with laughter.  Soon, we both had erupted into fits of giggles before collapsing against the bed, each of us gasping for breath. “Maker,” she wheezed, “I haven’t laughed like this since before we got to Skyhold.”</p><p>“That’s because you’re always too busy to hang out with me,” I teased, poking her lightly in the side. “You got all important-like and forgot about me, Lana Banana.” Instantly, her face fell and I felt terrible- I wasn’t trying to hurt her feelings, but Lana was now laying across from me looking like I had just kicked her puppy. “Hey, I didn’t mean anything by it,” I said in a rush. “I was just-“</p><p>“You’re right,” she said sadly. “I’ve been wrapped up so tightly in what I was doing that I forgot about who I’m doing this for.” Lana looked up at the hole in the roof, twisting her hands together. “I’m sorry Sam- I’ve been a terrible sister to you.”</p><p>“Oh stop,” I said as I leaned my head on her shoulder. “You’ve been a diplomat, sis. I get it- hell, you’re talking to the woman who went the equivalent of ten years without really being with her husband- if I can handle that, I can handle a few weeks of you being legit busy saving the world,” I teased, causing her to finally crack a smile. “Besides, Ali and Dorian have been around- it’s not like I’m lonely or anything.”</p><p>She turned away to face the wall. “That’s just it- you are close to people, Sam- I feel like an outsider. Like I might have been better off staying dead,” she replied morosely. “I fear I don’t belong here."</p><p>“Whoa, did the tables just turn? Are we in the Thedas version of Freaky Friday?” Lana gave me a confused look and I waved my hand. “Never mind that- bad reference. What is important,” I continued, “is that you are being dumb even thinking something like that. Granted,” I said as I got to my feet and grabbed the bag of Jolly Ranchers out of my backpack, "you’re distant as hell and you forget to let loose now and again, but no matter what, you do have friends, Lana Banana. And I'm not talking about those snooty bitches who just wanna glom on you for the titles and shit- I mean down for the cause type friends. Hell, most of Team Mage is here- how could you <em>ever</em> think that you don’t belong?” </p><p>“It’s just-“ Lana blew a stray curl out of her face and scrunched up her nose with the effort, “I feel like you know Ali better than I,” she whispered. “And I feel like I don’t measure up to <em>you</em> after all this time.” </p><p>I couldn’t help it- I laughed in her face. “Are… are you fucking serious?” I gasped for air as I continued to laugh, tears streaming down my cheeks. “For <em>once</em>, I finally get to call the great Solana Amell an idiot!” I pumped my fists in the air, still laughing so hard my sides started to hurt. “Good lord, I haven’t heard something this stupid from a sober person in a long ass time, Lana!” </p><p>“I don’t know why it’s that funny,” Lana said quietly. “I’ve been gone ten years and you’ve been with him the entire time… it’s a reasonable assumption, Sam.”</p><p>“But... it’s <em>Ali!”</em> I wheezed, trying to recover and bring myself back to reality. "That man fucking worships you! I’ve never seen anything like it… and I’m married to Cullen!” Finally able to suppress my laughter, I looked at my sister, my eyes serious. “Do you realize that he never <em>once</em> gave up on you? Like, not once?”</p><p>"Really?" Lana asked, glancing over at me before turning away again. "Was there truly never another woman that caught his fancy in all that time?" </p><p>I raised my eyebrows, then poked her in the side, forcing her to look back at me. “You don’t get it, do you? There was never any room in his heart for anyone else, Lana- that man was a shell when you left us." I frowned at the memory, then sighed. "Truth be told, I was scared he wasn't going to make it without you."</p><p>She finally looked up at me, her eyes wide with horror. "You can't possibly be serious, Sam- Alistair would never do something like that!"</p><p>I just looked at her sadly. "Lana, it wasn’t until we realized that you were out there somewhere that I started to see some life in him again- he’s your second, remember?” Now that I had finally sobered up and stopped laughing, my tone was gentler than before. "It doesn’t matter if it’s been ten years or ten minutes- time doesn’t matter. Trust me on this- Ali is yours, through and through.” I paused for a bit, watching as she processed what I was saying. “However, if you want to know the other side of that goofball that I see, then hang out with us a little more. Hell, take us with you when you go on one of your missions."</p><p>Lana gave me a tentative grin. "I'm afraid Dorian will be rather put out if I send him away from his tomes and his wine."</p><p>I waved a hand at her dismissively. "Fuck that- Dorian just doesn't want to leave his hot spring. Don’t believe him when he bitches- he won’t die if you take him out of here for a few days.”</p><p>At that, Lana finally cracked a true smile, and I hugged her tight. “I suppose you’re right,” she replied. “Very well, Sam- I’m relying on you to make sure I remember to have a bit of fun now and again.” </p><p>“That,” I said confidently, “is something I can most certainly do, sis.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>When Lana returned to her quarters that afternoon, she found Ali emerging from behind the screen with a towel wrapped around his waist, drying off his hair. “Hey love,” he said, reaching over and giving her a kiss, “that note came for you- the bird looked pretty anxious to get it off him, so I took it. I hope you don't mind.” </p><p>Whirling around and looking for the bird, she found the note sitting on her desk. “Is he still here?” </p><p>“Who? Baron Plucky?” When Lana nodded, Ali let out a laugh, shaking his head. “Nope, as soon as I took that note, he took off like a shot- must’ve had something else to do.”</p><p><em>Like avoid me</em>, Lana thought. “Did he say anything?”</p><p>Ali looked at her like she was knackered. “Besides ‘caw caw’? Last I checked, he only talks to Sam- you might want to ask her if you’re dying to get insight into the mind of the bird, my love.” He smiled as he went into the chest of drawers, looking for a fresh pair of smalls to change into- she realized then that he must have come back to change after training all morning. When she frowned, he started to chuckle. “Must be a pretty important note, then,” he said mildly as he got dressed. “Should I be worried? Is it a marriage proposal? Do I have to go fight a dragon to show my devotion to you?” Alistair came over and placed kisses on her neck, causing her to squeal. “Because I’m pretty sure Bull would go out and help me find one if I needed to.”</p><p>“Bull wouldn’t even need a reason,” Lana agreed, turning the missive over in her hands. “But I’m afraid our upcoming union is safe- it’s a letter from Grace.” </p><p>“Now that <em>is</em> unexpected,” Ali said, sitting on the bed and pulling on his boots. “Do you need a moment to yourself while you read it?” </p><p>“No,” she replied, taking the note and moving next to him. “In fact, if you have some time, I’d like you to stay… if that’s all right with you?” She swallowed, staring anxiously at the parchment she was holding. “I have to admit, I didn’t think she’d write me back- I’d only written her last night.” </p><p>“Why wouldn’t she?” Ali asked as he smoothed her hair. “You’re her sister- if she’s anything like Sam, I’m sure she was delighted to hear from you.”</p><p>“That’s just it,” Lana said nervously, trying to will herself to calm down. “She and Sam have a relationship… not I.” She blew out a deep breath, hoping her heart would stop galloping in her chest for a second so she could think. “What if she’s written to tell me she never wants to hear from me again?” </p><p>He let out a soft laugh, rubbing his warm hands up and down her back. “I highly doubt that she’d send a letter to you so quickly to simply be cruel, Lana. But,” he said carefully, “if it will make you feel better, you can always have Sam read the letter first.” </p><p>“No, I can’t,” she said wearily. “She’d only tell me I was being an idiot and stare at me obstinately until I read it.”</p><p>He paused, then placed a hand over hers. “Would it help if I were to do that? Because I think that’s a pretty sound course of action at this point.”</p><p>Laughing, she gave him a light punch in the arm. “You are a terrible man, Alistair Theirin.”</p><p>“But I’m yours,” he chided gently, turning her face to him and placing a soft kiss on her lips. “And your future husband thinks you should read what your sister took the time to write to you.” He paused, then gave her a wicked grin. “I wonder if her husband had a similar debate with her when she received your missive?”</p><p>“Oh stop it!” Lana said, unfurling the note. “I’ll read the blasted note, but if it’s bad news, you’re responsible for going to Sam and getting me all the snacks in her bag so I can soothe my hurt feelings with food.” </p><p>“You have a deal,” he said as he tapped his finger on the note. “Now stop stalling and read the bloody thing.”</p><p>—<br/>
<em>Lana, </em></p><p>
  <em>Oh shit, it’s MY NEW LITTLE SISTER! I didn’t know you could read English! Sam showed me all the freaky looking writing and my Pip-boy couldn’t translate it, so I had no idea if I even could write to you! I swear, this whole letter by bird thing is a goddam pain- every time I see that bird, I have to debate if I want more letters or chicken for dinner. But before I accidentally put him in a stew,  I’m gonna talk to mom and see if she can hook us up with a family group chat- she’s done freakier shit before, so I’m sure she can hook her kids up with this, at least.  I’ve been dying to talk to you, Lana- Sam told me so much about you, and I’m so jealous that you two get to be together out there! John practically did a happy dance when I showed him your letter, cause that meant I can finally stop bitching about how my family doesn’t love me now that they’re off in the Middle Ages fighting dragons and shit. </em>
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  <em>Before I answer your questions, let me just tell you that I gave Shaun your gift, and I swear to god that boy looked like he was about to jump on the back of that bird to get to you. All I heard was “Auntie Lana is fighting dragons! Dragons are real, Mom- the other kids aren’t gonna believe it!” You’re so lucky all the proper history books got blown to bits- there's no one to correct him out here, but a word of advice-  you don’t tell an eleven-year-old boy that you fight dragons if you don’t want his parents to hear about how uncool they are until the end of time. Never mind the fact that his mom and dad blew up an evil organization and saved the entire Commonwealth- his aunt fought a dragon, so she's the shit. I swear, if you weren’t related to me, I’d find a way to ship him to you so you can experience this first hand- as it is, John is over here trying to play ’make my son think I’m fun again’, so I’m sure he’s thrilled with you right now. </em>
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  <em>I kid, of course (not about what happened- all that is true)- I’m loving the fact that my sisters are doting on their niece and nephew from another world. And in case you’re wondering, you can NEVER be too familiar with me, sis- we’re family. Actually, I’d be kinda pissed if you treated me like one of those weird nobles you have to talk with all the time. We have enough to deal with on the day to day, so always feel free to say whatever you want to me. </em>
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  <em>As I mentioned before, I know how it feels to be thrust in the middle of a war you didn’t start or want to fight, and I also know what it means to find a new family you never expected. So I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Sam- embrace it. These people you got by your side are there for you, but you gotta let them in. I know it’s hard- hell, I’m a general and the wife of the mayor, so I get the whole ‘heavy that wears the crown’ thing you got going on. Just remember, it is what it is, sis- do the best you can with the hand you’ve been dealt, and know that your family and friends are going to have your back, no matter what. Oh, and I suggest lots of drinking- my drink of choice is whiskey, which makes all the people that can go fuck off seem a little less annoying. However, I admit that I have more than a passing fancy for booze, so take that suggestion with a grain of salt.</em>
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  <em>Speaking of family, it feels like it’s just raining new family members! You and Sam are just destined to never have a wedding your sister can come to, huh? I’ll say congratulations, but just know that I’m a bit huffy that I’ve never met either of my sister’s husbands. Also, if Garrett is who I think he is, then Sam’s a bit pissed because he ran off with his boyfriend after he blew up a town or something- either way, she doesn’t take too kindly to people ditching her, so that might be it. </em>
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  <em>Anyway, I’ve gotta go get your niece and nephew ready for bed, but please, please write back and tell Sam I said hi. You both don’t write enough and I’m stuck here with children, which means doing cool stuff like you two is almost always out of the question. Right now, I’m living vicariously through you guys, so do your goddamn jobs and keep me posted on what you’re doing! In the meanwhile, I’ll be over here cheering for my little sisters, but I’m not worried- no matter where we are, us Roberts girls always kick major ass. </em>
</p><p><em>With a crapton of love from your big sis,</em><br/>
<em>Grace</em><br/>
—<br/>
“Well, that certainly sounds like correspondence from someone who hates you,” Alistair teased, poking Lana in the side. “You know, it sounds like she’s the meanest person ever- I think you may want to hide away, love.”</p><p>“Oh shut up,” Lana said as she thwacked him on the arm, hearing the warden chuckle as she got up to sit the parchment on the desk. “I didn’t expect that,” she said after a moment, leaning against the wall. “She… <em>wanted</em> to hear from me. My… sister wants to know me, Ali.”</p><p>“See,” he replied, crossing the room and wrapping her in his arms. “You’re lucky,” he said softly. “I told you, not all family is like mine, Lana."</p><p>Suddenly, Lana felt like a horrible person as she remembered how Alistair’s sister treated him in Sam’s vision all those years ago. “Oh no-“ </p><p>“Don’t,” he said, shaking his head. “Sam and I went back a few years ago and looked her up… and it was just as you said. Trust me,” he said bitterly, “there’s no love lost between me and that shrew- I’m just glad your sister didn’t punch her.” </p><p>“I would’ve,” Lana growled. “Sam seems to be remiss on her duties- I’ll have to have a chat with her about that.”</p><p>“I'd prefer if you didn't,” Alistair said with a laugh. “I think you have more positive things to focus on, don’t you? And besides,” he said with a grin, “This development just means I’ll have another sister too- hanging around with you seems to have grown my family tenfold.” </p><p>“It’s always about you, isn’t it?” Lana teased, turning to face him and wrapping her arms around his neck. “You’re such a selfish man.”</p><p>Laughing, he reached a hand up to her hair, twirling her red curls around his fingers as he brushed her lips with his. "I’ll be that,” Alistair said as he sat on her desk, guiding her into his lap and pressing his hand into the small of her back. “Especially if it means that I get to have you like this for the rest of my days.” </p><p>“Like I said,” Lana breathed, leaning so her forehead pressed against his and her hair framed his face, “you’re a selfish, selfish man, Alistair Theirin."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Nia was sitting in the kitchen, sipping her coffee as she watched Shaun and Jenny playing with a set of legos. She’d finally found a set of blocks that were too big to be inhaled into the gaping maw that was otherwise known as the little girl’s mouth, so all was well with her grandchildren for the moment. Today, they were building some strange tower on the floor, with Jenny carefully taking each piece, inspecting it with her tongue, and placing the sticky block on the wobbling construction. After the piece had been taste-tested and Jenny-approved, Shaun would affix it to its proper place, making the tiny redhead clap and squeal with delight every time. Nia knew the older boy would rather continue working on one of the kits he’d started with her husband, but she also knew he’d do anything to be a good big brother. </p><p>In fact, she was counting on it. </p><p>As she watched them, she wondered about how pissed her daughter and son-in-law were going to be when they found out what she was about to do- she knew it was a gamble, but it was a necessary one. The elder Watcher hadn’t gotten to where she was by playing it safe and she had no intentions on starting now, so Grace and Hancock would just have to get over it. She knew they'd forgive her... eventually. </p><p>As the children played, Nia calmly checked her watch, then looked back at the kids.<em> One hour left,</em> she thought with as she got up and placed a kiss on Jenny’s head, ruffling her red and unruly curls. “You know,” she said casually, “Jenny looks a lot like your aunt Lana, Shaun.” </p><p>This made the little boy perk up, “But I thought Jenny looked like Fahr, Grandma- how can she look like both of them?” </p><p>Nia laughed, handing Jenny another block, which she promptly tasted and declared satisfactory. “She can look like both, Shaun.” She leaned over and tickled him, making the boy squeal with laughter. "Just like you look a lot like your dad and a little like your grandpa.”</p><p>“I guess so,” he said as he placed another block on the strange-looking tower. “I miss Auntie Sam though- she was fun to hang out with.”</p><p>“What about me and your grandpa Dean?” Nia said with an amused laugh, cocking an eyebrow at the brown-haired boy. “Are we not fun?”</p><p>“You guys are nice,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone, “but Auntie Sam and Auntie Lana have some super awesome adventures- I want to be cool like them one day,” he said wistfully. “Baking cookies and playing with you is alright, but I wanna go fight dragons and stuff!” </p><p>Nia bit her lip to keep from laughing, choosing to pat him on the shoulder instead. At the request of his parents, she had never shown the boy all the tricks she could really do, but maybe she’d underplayed things a little <em>too</em> much. Nia felt the urge to boast rear its ugly head and she quickly pushed it aside- there were bigger things at play than her pride right now, namely keeping her grandchildren safe.</p><p>“Don’t worry,” she said with a smile as she surreptitiously slipped the small token into his pocket. “I’m sure you’ll see them soon.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Holy smokes, this little fanfic has hit over 1K views! I'm so humbled and excited to know that you guys are on the Team Mage bandwagon and chilling out over here while the world has lost its mind! Right now, I'm still chugging away at additional chapters (I'm currently writing chapter 37, planning on starting 38 over the weekend), and we're like WAAAAAY ahead of schedule here. </p><p>I'm so excited- we got the Winter Palace coming, not to mention I'm over here biting my own nails, because... Adamant. </p><p>Here's to each and every one of you, cause without you, this would just be a drabble in my brain. Have a great weekend, and enjoy some candy (if you can) for Sam!</p>
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<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Unexpected Additions</h2></a>
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<hr/><p>“Hold your back straight, Commander!” Vivienne barked, thrusting a hand into the small of Cullen's back as he practiced dancing with Sam. While he normally would enjoy dancing with his wife, the daily lessons they were being given were enough to make him never want to hear another piece of music again. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to smile and try the move again as Sam let out a snicker, clearly enjoying someone else being the target of the Iron Lady’s ire for once. As he guided Sam across the makeshift dance floor for the umpteenth time that day, Vivienne finally gave a soft grunt of approval and turned on her heel, setting her sights on Lana and Alistair instead. </p><p>“Thank the Maker,” he whispered into Sam’s ear as they followed the beat of the music. “I was beginning to lose my mind.”</p><p>“And now you know how I felt when I had to work with her,” she said softly. “I told you, that bitch is insufferable.” Casting a furtive glance over her shoulder and checking for Vivienne’s position, she blew a stray hair from her face. “Lana had to make me promise not to disappear when she made me demonstrate these steps with Hawke.”</p><p>“You do know your cousin isn’t that bad,” Cullen replied, spinning her around in a slow circle. “It seems that the git has had some time to grow up… a smidge.” </p><p>“Hrmph,” Sam replied. By now, he knew this tactic of hers well- it was a way for her to try to avoid the conversation without agreeing or disagreeing with him, which usually meant that he would deal with the results of her indecision later on. “Not this time, darling,” he chided gently. “He’s your family and as much as it pains me to say this, it appears that he is trying.” When she sniffed dismissively, he cupped her chin gently and gave her a soft smile. “This effort is bigger than any grudge that you may have, Sam- if possible, can you give him a chance? If not for him, then for me?”</p><p>“You play dirty,” she growled. Then she smiled, placing a quick kiss on his knuckles. “But fine. I’ll do it… for you.” </p><p>“I’m sorry,” an icy voice said from behind him. Startled, Cullen almost jumped out of his skin at the sound and had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. “Did you become proficient at this dance when I wasn’t looking, Commander? Are you confident that your skills will not make the Inquisition the laughingstock of Orlais?”</p><p>Desperate, he looked to his wife. <em>Help me</em>, he thought. <em>For the love of all that is holy, please come up with something to get this woman away from me, Sam. </em></p><p>Rolling her eyes, Sam shot a scathing look at the mage, then back to him. <em>You owe me</em>, she replied, breaking away from him and whispering something in Vivienne’s ear. After a moment, the woman gave a curt nod and moved away from them, causing Cullen to let out a sigh of relief as Sam began to guide him from the hall. </p><p>“Hey!” Alistair called out, giving them a panicked look as the enchanter pushed his shoulders forward. “How come they get to leave? Why don’t they have to keep being tortured- I mean, practice?”</p><p>“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Cullen replied, wrapping his arm around his wife. “Enjoy your lessons, friend.” Smirking, he gave Alistair a jaunty wave as they left the grand hall, feeling extremely grateful for whatever his wife had done to give him a reprieve from the public torture. </p><p>Once they were out of earshot, he breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness that horror is over- I have so much paperwork-“</p><p>“Sorry to burst your bubble,” Sam said with a grin as they walked along the ramparts and headed toward their quarters, “but I just requested a change of venue. We still have to practice, but she’s letting you do it privately with me instead of tripping over your feet with everyone watching- I told her you’d do better with private instruction.”</p><p>“Oh,” Cullen said flatly. “Sam, must we-“</p><p>“Didn’t I tell you that you’d owe me for this?” Sam replied as she opened their door and disappeared the moment she crossed the threshold. Shaking his head, Cullen crossed the room and began to head for his desk- <em>if she takes a long time,</em> he reasoned, <em>I may very well be able to complete a report or two while I wait. </em></p><p>Just as he was getting settled in, he felt a tap on his shoulder. “For someone who commands my sister’s army, you don’t listen well at all, do you?”</p><p>Sheepishly, he smiled at his wife. “Alas, I cannot even refute you on this one.” He took her hand and stroked it gently with his thumb, hoping he might be able to convince her to abandon this horrible endeavor for the evening. “But maybe we can find other ways to spend a free evening together?” </p><p>To his dismay, his wife didn’t take his suggestion. “Honestly? You aren’t that bad- you just do a few things wrong when you lose focus,” she said with a smile, moving to place something on his desk. Soon, she began to fiddle with the contraption she called a phone, bending over as she checked her reflection on the screen. “There!” Sam said happily, standing up and beckoning to him with one hand. “Come here, please.”</p><p>He looked at her, then stared at the device dubiously. “Why?” </p><p>“I want to do something,” she said as soft music began to fill the room. “Dance with me.” </p><p>“I…” he glanced over at the box on the desk, still unsure as to her motives. “I think I would rather not, Sam.”</p><p>“Stop being such a wuss,” Sam retorted, putting her hands on her hips. “I promise, I have a reason for this. You trust me, don’t you?”</p><p>“With my life,” he replied with no hesitation. “It’s just-“</p><p>“Dance with me,” she repeated, ignoring his protests and extending her hands to him. “One dance and I promise, I’m going to give you the tools to be a better dancer in this one lesson.” When he scowled, she let out an exasperated sigh. “Look, I’ll make you a deal- if you don’t see the benefit to my plan afterward, I’ll let you get back to work and I’ll deal with Vivienne for you, no questions asked.”</p><p>He raised an eyebrow. “You’re serious?”</p><p>“As a heart attack,” she replied. “Now dance with me before I change my mind.” Though he thought the whole ordeal to be foolish, Cullen did as she asked, watching as her eyelids fluttered when she rewound the song to the beginning. He rolled his eyes, but undaunted, his wife began to count. “And a one, and a two, and a three…”</p><p>Trying to be a good sport, he followed along, dutifully trying to remember the steps that Vivienne had taught them as she murmured hints to him throughout the song. As they moved to the music, Cullen did have to admit that dancing in their home was a lot more relaxing- he didn’t have to worry about someone correcting him at every turn and he could simply focus on the woman in his arms. Finally feeling relaxed, he smiled as he pressed his hand on her hip, allowing himself to get lost in the melody.</p><p>When the song finished, Cullen gave Sam a bow and retreated to his chair. Though he felt more at ease, he had no expectations that her little experiment had made him anything remotely similar to a better dancer, so he prepared to get back to work while she went to fiddle with the device on the desk. </p><p>“Uh, what are you doing?” Sam asked, walking over to stand next to him. “I didn’t say we were finished.” </p><p>“Yes, you did,” he replied. “You asked for one dance- I gave you that. And now, I’m getting back to work… as you promised.”</p><p>“No,” she said, placing her tiny frame in his lap. Instinctively he wrapped an arm around her waist and smiled as she placed a kiss on his forehead. “I said when I finished, that if you didn’t see the merits you could go back to work.” She tapped the item in her hand, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “And I’m not finished yet, Metal Man.”</p><p>“Really? Pray tell, what instruction do you plan on giving me from my lap?” He leaned over and brushed her hair off her neck, nuzzling her ear and savoring the aroma of the fruit-scented soap she used. “I must admit, now I’m curious.”</p><p>“This,” she answered, tapping her fingers on the glass. “I want you to see what you’re doing… if you study it, then you can correct it.”</p><p>Cullen watched in amazement as he stared at their forms dancing across the small device. Ever so often, Sam would pause the screen, making motions to make things larger as she pointed out where his hands were in the wrong place or how he had made a move out of step. The more he watched, the more he could see the things she was pointing out, and Cullen groaned inwardly.  With every moment that he watched them dance, he knew his wife had him dead to rights- seeing his mistakes being pointed out so clearly meant that there was no way he could let this go, particularly when there were easy solutions to be had. “You are a terrible wife,” he grumbled, "but I have to admit that you are not a bad teacher.”</p><p>“Does that mean you’ll practice some more?” Sam’s eyes were sparkling with excitement. “Please say yes- I really don’t want to go deal with that bitch again if I don’t have to.” </p><p>Laughing, he guided her off his lap and gestured to the desk. “Set that contraption up again,” he said with a smile as he headed to the center of the room. “Now that I’ve seen what we look like, I’m almost certain we can do better.”</p><p>“There's the man I married,” she replied with a laugh as she arranged the device on his desk again. “Now, let’s knock this out so that crazy woman will finally leave us alone."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Alistair had been practicing with Lana and Dorian for days on end, but he still felt like he was as coordinated as a newborn foal every time he stepped on the dance floor. Each session always ended with several pokes and cold looks from the enchanter, and he was quite envious of Sparrow and Cullen- his friend had started this endeavor just as bad as him, if not worse, but now he practically floated along the dance floor. “I don’t understand,” Alistair complained, flopping on the ground next to Sam, who had once again dashed out of lessons early. “How in the world did you get Rutherford to stop looking like a lumbering beast on the dance floor, and why haven’t you done it to me so I can get out of these horrible lessons?” </p><p>Since Lana had been called away for a dress fitting, Alistair had taken advantage of the distraction and snuck off, joining Sam while she read in the garden beneath a tree. “Well, for starters, he practices at home.” Ali glared at her, but she threw her hands up in apology. “Sorry, but it’s true- I made him record himself dancing, and now he watches the videos to study his weaknesses.” She shook her head, laughing as he felt his dreams of freedom crashing around him. “I think I may have created a monster- I can tell he’s itching to have me surreptitiously record a training class so he knows who to single out for torture.”</p><p>“That’s… actually not a bad idea,” Ali said thoughtfully, his mind running through all the possibilities. “Might make our jobs a bit easier, Sparrow.”</p><p>“Or harder when people start screaming about me trying to capture their souls with my magic box,” Sam teased. “Or have you forgotten the levels of shit you gave me when you first saw it?” </p><p>“I forgot about that,” he said with a laugh. “Now that you mention it, that is a strong possibility,” he replied, reaching over and grabbing a handful of her trail mix. She shot him a look, but he hardly cared- he was hungry after all that dancing. “But I still say it’s worth the trade-off if I get to have a leisurely breakfast now and again.” </p><p>“You would,” she said, hitting him in the arm. “I swear, I don’t know why I put up with you, Ali.” </p><p>“Pardon me for the interruption,” a voice interjected softly, “but I have a favor to ask the two of you.”</p><p>Startled, he turned around to find the Revered Mother walking over to them, a serious look on her face. Sam recovered first, swallowing her snack and looking at the woman warily. “Um, yeah- what’s up, Mother Giselle?"</p><p>“As I understand it,” she replied, looking between the two of them, “the two of you are close with Mister Pavus, correct?”</p><p>“Ye-e-s,” he said cautiously. “What’s he done now? Whatever it is, I can assure you that I had nothing to do with it."</p><p>“While I am sure that you three have certainly done something I am unaware of, I’m afraid this has nothing to do with it.” She sighed as she reached into her robes, pulling out a letter. “I have received correspondence from his father requesting a meeting with a retainer from his household, but we fear Dorian will not attend if he knows the reason for the meeting.”</p><p>“So,” Sam said carefully, “let me get this straight. You, a woman of the cloth, want us to lie to our best friend to get him to go to a secret meeting?” She turned to Alistair, crossing her arms. “Is that what it sounds like to you?”</p><p>He grabbed another handful of the mix and popped it into his mouth, hoping it would give him a reprieve from the conversation.  When he noticed they were still staring at him, Alistair rolled his eyes. “Yup,” he replied with his mouth full, glaring at Mother Giselle. “And I’m hoping she doesn’t expect an answer other than us laughing about her wonderful joke while we get ready to have drinks this evening."</p><p>“I would not ask you if it weren’t serious,” she said with a sigh. “I’ll leave it you to do what you think it best to approach the subject with him, but if you could get him to that meeting, it would give his family no small measure of peace.” She gave Sam a hard look that caused her to shift in her seat. “Besides, I’m quite sure that you two know what it’s like to worry about family.” Sam sighed, then the woman patted her on the shoulder. “If you can get him to the tavern in Redcliffe in a few days' time, I’m sure the Pavus family would be eternally grateful.” </p><p>“We’ll see what we can do,” Alistair said firmly. “But we are not lying to our friend, Mother Giselle.” </p><p>“Do what you must,” she replied as she started to walk away. “Thank you for your time, both of you.” </p><p>“Well, shit,” Sam said, flopping back on the grass. “We leave for the ball in a few days- if we’re gonna do this shit, we gotta do it now.” She glanced over at him, biting her lip. “So, who do you think-“</p><p>Before she could finish the statement, Alistair cut her off, wincing at the memory of the last time she’d tricked him into being the messenger. “Oh no,” he protested, “you tricked me into asking about his drunken tryst with Bull and I got a bolt of lightning in the ass for my troubles- this one is all you, dear sister.” </p><p>“Well fuck me sideways,” Sam grumbled, crossing her arms and glaring at him. “I can see that this is just going to be buckets of fun.” </p><p>Shrugging, he lay back down on the ground, crossing his arms behind his head. “Better you than me- besides, I think he likes you better, so he might be less of a shit if you talk to him about it.”</p><p>“Fine, I’ll pass the message,” Sam growled. “But you gotta come with me or I’m telling Regina George that you skipped out on dance lessons today.” </p><p>“Fuck,” Alistair replied, tossing a rock across the way and scowling. He was starting to get the feeling that he was going to be blamed for this message and there was nothing he could do about it. “Sometimes I really don’t like you, Sparrow."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“I’m sorry, you want me to what?” Dorian asked, putting his hands on his hips and staring at me with a dumbfounded look on his face. “I know we drink quite a bit, but I find it quite impossible to believe that you just said what I think you just did.”</p><p>“Well,” I said, shuffling my feet nervously, “I kinda did.” Alistair let out a low whistle and I shot him a nasty look. “Look, I’m just telling you what I was told, Dorian- if you want to know anything else, then I need a decision from you first.” </p><p>“So,” he replied in a clipped tone, “what happens if I agree to this foolishness?”</p><p>I paused as I checked the threads, then winced at the results. “Something good… eventually.”</p><p>Dorian narrowed his eyes at me as Alistair tried backed away, with limited success- Dorian’s cozy library nook left no real room to escape unless he wanted to jump down into the middle of Solas’s room on the first floor. “Did you forget that you’re talking to me, dear Sam? I know you’re hiding something, so out with it- what did you see?”</p><p>I tried to hide behind Alistair, who promptly shook his head and shoved me toward the angry mage. Scowling at Alistair, I closed my eyes. “Its-not-a-retainer-its-your-dad,” I said in a rush, ducking back behind the warden. </p><p>For a moment, no one spoke- then I felt a hand on my shoulder. Tentatively, I looked up and came face to face with the Altus, who was staring at me. “Are you sure, Sam?” </p><p>“I wouldn’t joke about something like that,” I replied seriously. “If you go, you won’t regret doing it, though you get pretty pissed in the meantime,” I admitted. “I didn’t check too far out, but I get the feeling that this is something you need to do, Dorian.”</p><p>“Look, if you need us… we’re happy to go with you. Safety in numbers and all that good stuff.” Alistair put a hand on his shoulder and smiled at Dorian. “Can’t leave a member of the Wine and Cheese club out in the lurch- it’s bad for morale.”</p><p>“I think I would like that, yes,” he said quietly. “However, I think I would like Lana to accompany us- having the Inquisitor there might deter them from conking me on the head and trying to drag me back to Tevinter by my hair.”</p><p>“Deal,” I replied, smiling at my friend. “Besides, I’d never let something like that happen to you- it’d be a shame if someone messed up that beautiful hair of yours.”</p><p>“I’m glad someone understands,” Dorian replied, wrapping us both in a tight hug. </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>As they set out for Redcliffe, Lana tried to push past the feeling that she was the odd one out in this excursion. As Alistair and Dorian engaged in an animated conversation, she looked over to Sam with a sad smile. “I fear that I’m out of place here, dear sister.”</p><p>Thankfully, Sam hopped over, draping an arm over her shoulder. “Nah, you just gotta know how to find a way into the conversation. Watch,” she whispered, grinning as she took a piece of candy out of her bag and handed one to Lana. “Hey, Lana Banana,” she said in her normal tone, “are you ready for the ball? Not gonna lie, now that I don’t have to work with Vivienne anymore, I’m super pumped.”</p><p>Lana scowled. “That’s because you already know how to dance, Sam- I fear my abilities on that front leave much to be desired."</p><p>“Nonsense,” Dorian replied, walking over to them. <em>Told you,</em> she heard Sam say in her head. “You’ve improved by leaps and bounds- your betrothed, on the other hand…”</p><p>“Is hating this idea more and more by the day,” Alistair grumbled. “I’m still black and blue from where that horrible mage keeps pinching me. I think you and Rutherford are the only ones excited about dancing at this thing, Sparrow.”</p><p>“I don’t know about that,” Lana replied with a smile. “Even if we do it terribly, I would never pass up a chance to dance with you, Ali.” </p><p>“And Cullen is only excited to show off how much he’s learned,” Dorian piped up as he reached into Sam’s bag and took a piece of candy. “He won’t admit it, but that man is  secretly dying to show off his new skills.” As he popped the candy in his mouth, he folded his arms and stared at Lana. “And why, pray tell, have you neglected to attend any of our meetings, dear Inquisitor?”</p><p>“Maybe it’s because you keep calling her ‘Inquisitor’, you big dip,” Sam replied with a grin as she punched the mage in the arm. “Her name’s Lana, or Lana Banana if you’re really special… like me.”</p><p>Never before had Lana felt more gratitude toward her sister than she did at that moment. “I always felt like I was intruding,” she admitted. “I didn’t think you’d want me there.” </p><p>“No,” Dorian corrected. “We don’t want the <em>others</em> there- you, I’d love to see get piss drunk every now and again.” He looked her over and shook his head. “You’re so uptight, dear Lana- if I didn’t know better, I’d say you’d need a handsome man in your bed.”</p><p>Before she could stop herself, Lana raised an eyebrow and gestured to the mage. “Was that an invitation, Pavus?”</p><p>At that, the three of them looked at each other and burst out laughing. “Love,” Alistair said between fits of laughter, “an invitation like that is far more likely to be directed at me than you, I’m afraid.”</p><p>“And he’s nowhere near my type,” Dorian replied with a huff, earning himself a playful shove from Alistair. “How you can put up with him is beyond me, Lana.”</p><p>“Practice,” Lana said seriously, causing Sam to giggle. When Alistair pouted and Dorian began to grin, Lana couldn’t contain her laughter anymore and let loose, erupting into loud, snorting laughter. Soon, the others had joined in and Lana realized that Sam was right- the problem wasn’t them, it was her behaving like that little circle mage from all those years ago. “Maker,” she wheezed, “is it always like this with you three?”</p><p>“Only when we’re sober,” Alistair said, placing a kiss on her cheek as they approached the tavern.</p><p> </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“Thanks again, Mom,” Grace said as she packed up Jenny’s things and placed them in the diaper bag, blowing a stray curl out of her face. “Ordinarily we’d have taken them with us, but making sure John behaves at a wedding is hard enough- adding two kids to that would have been suicide.”</p><p>“No problem at all,” Nia replied, handing Shaun the bag and watching as he placed the bag over his shoulder. “Be careful with that, kiddo- there’s some sandwiches and juice in there for you, too.”</p><p>Shaun grinned but Hancock frowned, scooping up Jenny and trying to wrench a lego from her chubby fist. “You’re spoiling them, Ma,” he complained, wincing as Jenny hit him with the block. “Besides, I hope you got enough in there for the other one at home- if not, I’m gonna hear her bitch and moan while she tries to steal from these two.”</p><p>“Then go make her some,” Nia replied, chuckling at the endearment from the man. “You know where the kitchen is, John- help yourself.”</p><p>“Don’t mind if I do,” he said, placing a kiss on the chubby little girl and setting her down as he headed toward the kitchen. “Plus, I’m sure Sunshine won’t mind not pretending to cook for the night,” he teased.</p><p>He laughed as Grace stuck her tongue out at him, whacking his hat. “I’ll have you know my cooking has improved by leaps and bounds,” she retorted. In response, Hancock gave a snort and Nia chuckled, watching out of the corner of her eye as Jenny stole a block and started to run off. When Grace saw the tiny girl moving as fast as her feet could carry her, she sighed and turned to her son, who was hovering nearby. “Shaun, can you go get your sister while your dad finishes up?”</p><p>Shaun immediately nodded and ran off, leaving Grace shaking her head as she stared after him. “I don’t know how you did it, Mom,” she said wearily. “I feel like I’m constantly three steps behind whatever that tiny little hellion can cook up.”</p><p>“Well, look who she belongs to,” Nia said with a laugh as John let out a chuckle from the kitchen. “If she wasn’t hell on wheels, I’d be worried.”</p><p>“Anyway,” Grace said, slumping into a nearby chair. “How are my sisters? By the way, Lana finally wrote to me,” she said happily. “I gotta admit, I was getting worried.” </p><p>Nia got up and headed toward the kitchen with Hancock. “It’s just different out there.” She went into the fridge and grabbed two sodas, then sat back down in the chair across from her daughter and handed Grace one. “Though I must admit, I miss those two.”</p><p>“Don’t you go visit them?” Hancock asked between bites of his sandwich as he walked out of the kitchen. “Not like you can’t pop over there whenever you want, right?”</p><p>“Not exactly,” she replied. “Only one of us over there at a time, otherwise things get out of whack- as it is, I shouldn’t have gone when I did. Not supposed to meddle in her affairs, you know.”</p><p>“Like that’s ever stopped you before,” Grace muttered as she sipped her soda, causing Nia to raise her eyebrow at her. Instead of backing off, Grace just grinned. “What? I didn’t lie.”</p><p>Hancock chuckled, then looked around and frowned. “Hold on- does it seem way too quiet to you two?” He paused and listened a little more, then his face grew taut. “Um, Sunshine-“</p><p>He didn’t have to finish his sentence- his wife had already shot to her feet, her head whipping back and forth as she scanned the living room. “Dad!” Grace screamed as she raced to the foot of the stairs, “Are the kids up there with you?”</p><p>“Nope!” Dean called down. “Are you guys about to leave? Hold on, I’ll come down,” he replied, but it was of no use- Grace wasn’t listening. </p><p>She was pulling at her blonde and brown curls, sending them in every direction as her green eyes grew wide as saucers. “Oh no,” she moaned to herself, “not again, I can’t… they can’t…” </p><p>In an instant, Hancock pulled her over to him, hugging her tightly. “Calm down, Sunshine- we’re in the house, so they can’t have gotten too far. They’re probably just hiding somewhere,” he said gently, then he turned to look at Nia. “Right, Ma?” </p><p>Nia paused, searching for the answer she already knew. She’d done the best she could to mitigate the circumstances, but the event was going to happen no matter what- it was just a matter of how and when. “Well,” she said as Dean flew down the stairs, his face full of concern. “They’re okay,” she said quickly, looking at her daughter and son-in-law. “But…” she looked at her husband and let out a sigh- Dean frowned at her, and she could tell he knew exactly what had happened. Nia knew there was always a price for changing things, and seeing her daughter out of her mind with fear was hers. “I’m afraid they aren’t here."</p><p>“Ma,” Hancock said evenly as he held onto Grace, who was now sobbing uncontrollably, “I’mma need you to tell me where my kids are. Now.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Varric was strolling through the courtyard and noticed Cassandra, sitting on a barrel of hay and reading. “Hey, Seeker,” he said casually, careful to stay an appropriate distance away in case she was still feeling a little punchy. “Enjoying your book?”</p><p>She narrowed her eyes at him, then she let out a deep breath and closed her eyes. “It’s wonderful,” she gushed. “I’ve been dying to know what happened with the Knight-Captain! Does she end up with her true love?” She clutched the pages to her chest and sighed, then looked guiltily at the dwarf. “Thank you, Varric,” she said. “I… am sorry I punched you.” </p><p>“Yeah, well,” Varric shifted uncomfortably. “Look, I’m sorry I lied,” he said gruffly. “How about we just promise to do neither of those things again and we can call it even, okay?”</p><p>“Agreed,” she said quickly. Then she looked around and scanned the courtyard before turning back to him. “What brings you out here?”</p><p>He shrugged. “Just felt like taking a walk. Hero and Sparrow are still out with Sparkler, so I figured I’d take advantage of the quiet, seeing as we don’t get too much of that around here."</p><p>That made Cass laugh. “On that, we agree,” she said. Varric was about to say something else and see if he could gauge the extent of her good mood when she began to stare past him with a frown on her face. “Varric... who is that with Cole and Hawke?”</p><p>The dwarf turned around, only to see Hawke with a tiny girl in one arm and a boy of around ten or eleven holding his other hand. Cole was staring at the boy, who was quietly looking around with wide-eyed wonder. “What is Narnia?” Cole asked curiously just as the girl grabbed a fistful of Hawke’s hair and pulled it, squealing with glee as the rogue winced. </p><p>Surprised, Varric looked at Cass, who had a gotten a funny look on her face. “Well, that’s certainly new,” he muttered as he turned to Hawke, chuckling as the man struggled with the child in his arms. “Picking up strays now?” Varric asked, gesturing to the two children. “Didn’t take you for a kid person, Hawke.”</p><p>“I’m not,” he grumbled as he tried to untangle the girl from his hair- every time he tried to unwind her fingers from his hair, she’d only grab on even harder, her peals of delight ringing out over the courtyard. “I was perfectly happy minding my own business when our friend told me I had to follow him- said these two needed my help finding the Commander.” Finally getting the girl to let go of his hair, he thrust the child at Varric and Cassandra. “Would someone <em>please</em> take this little monster away from me?”</p><p>The small boy scowled, staring up at him. “Jenny's not a monster, she’s my baby sister."</p><p>Once he was free, Hawke gave the boy a good-natured grin as Cass took the girl from him and stared at her in shock. “Oh, you speak now? For a while there I thought you were mute- good to know.”</p><p>“Did you say <em>Jenny?</em>” Cass asked, looking at the little girl’s eyes as she scanned the courtyard nervously. When the boy nodded, Cass swallowed, looking at Cole. “Please go get Commander Cullen right now,” she asked. “Bring him here right away and tell him to hurry- it’s of the utmost importance.”</p><p>Cole nodded seriously and disappeared, leaving Hawke and Varric staring at the Seeker as she kneeled down to the little boy. “My name is Cassandra,” she said in a tone Varric had never heard her use before as she extended her hand to the young man. “May I ask for yours?” </p><p>The boy took her hand and shook it. “I’m Shaun,” he said proudly. Then he stared at her sword with wide-eyes. “Are you guys knights? Are we in Narnia?"</p><p>“Something like that,” Varric said, staring at the boy curiously. There was something about them that was familiar, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “How’d you get here, kid?”</p><p>“Jenny ran into the closet,” he said seriously. “Mom sent me to get her, but when I turned back around, the door was gone.” His lip quivered a little, then he jutted his lip out.  “She was crying, but I wasn’t even scared when the other man found us!” </p><p>“That’s awful brave of you, kid,” Varric said, taking the kid by the hand and offering him a seat next to him. “So, you got any ideas on how we get in contact with your parents?”</p><p>Shaun shook his head. “Grandma always comes to get us cause our phones don’t work,” he said matter-of-factly. Just as the boy's eyes were starting to water his eyes suddenly grew wide and he got a huge smile on his face. “Oh wow! It’s you!” Shaun screamed as he leaped to his feet. “I’ve got a picture of you on my wall!” </p><p>Intrigued by the boy’s instantaneous change in mood, Varric turned around to see the Commander running up, his mouth open in surprise as he raced over to the boy. As soon as Cullen approached, the boy threw his arms around him, causing Hawke and Varric to look at each other with confusion. “Uh,” he said as the little boy draped himself in Cullen’s arms, “do you know this kid, Curly?” </p><p>Nodding, Cullen turned to the dwarf, clearly in shock. “I do,” he replied, patting the boy on the back. “Hawke,” he said slowly, “It seems that you’ve met your cousins.”</p><p>“Cousins?” Hawke squawked, looking back and forth at the kids with wide eyes. Suddenly, Varric took another look at the girl and he could’ve <em>kicked</em> himself- the tiny girl clearly had the same weird green eyes as Lana and Sam. </p><p>“Yes,” he said, “Otherwise known as my nephew and niece,” Then he turned back to the boy, who was looking up at him with adoration. “Shaun, does your mother know you two are here?”</p><p>“Nope,” Shaun said cheerily. “We didn’t get the chance to tell her.”</p><p>At that, Cullen went slightly pale. “Cassandra, Hawke, can you take these two to my quarters? I have to contact Sam right away.” He shook his head. “I’ve heard about how my in-laws are with their kids- I want no part in Grace being upset.” </p><p>“Me neither,” Shaun said, scuffing the dirt with his shoes as he looked around with wonder. “Mom and Dad are pretty scary when they’re mad, Uncle Cullen."</p><p>“Well,” Cass said quickly, “let’s get you two to your uncle’s quarters and get you settled with something to eat while Cullen contacts your Aunt Sam. How does that sound?” Shaun looked at Cullen, who nodded. Varric could tell the kid was nervous, but he could also see that he was related to Sam- swallowing, the little boy gathered his resolve and took Hawke’s hand. Though he looked back at Cullen like he wanted to stay with him, he dutifully followed after seeker and his sister.</p><p>”Let me get this straight,” Varric said, staring as the others went off with the children. “These are <em>Grace’s</em> kids? The same one who Sam said blew up a building to get him-“ he pointed at the boy, “- back home? And we’ve got <em>her</em> kids here... <em>without</em> her permission?”</p><p>“Shit,” he muttered, looking over at Cullen, who looked just as panicked as he felt. “I think I’d rather be fighting demons.” </p><p>“Me too, Varric,” Cullen muttered, staring after the kids and shaking his head. “Me too.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you’re like, whoa, who are Grace and John, feel free to check out “Nothing Ever Goes Right the First Time” to get their story!</p>
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<a name="section0032"><h2>32. I can't bring you anywhere</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lana gets to meet her niece and nephew while figuring out how to get ready for their trip to the Winter Palace</p>
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<hr/><p>As Cullen hurriedly sent a runner with a message to Blackwall telling him to lead the training sessions for the rest of the afternoon, he reached out in his head to contact his wife. <em>Sam</em>, he hissed,<em> I need you right this instant. </em></p><p><em>Uh, are you sure?</em> Sam asked.<em> I’m kinda in the middle of something. </em></p><p><em>Yes, I’m very sure,</em> he replied as he ran towards his quarters, looking around furtively to make sure Grace and her husband weren’t lurking around a corner and waiting to eviscerate him.<em> We have a situation here and I need you and Lana with me, post-haste. </em></p><p>Sam paused, and he could tell she had tensed up. <em>The town is okay, right? No one’s attacking? </em></p><p><em>Not yet,</em> he replied. <em>But if you don’t get here and help me figure this out soon, I think your sister and her husband might.</em> He walked into his quarters to see Jenny bouncing on Hawke’s lap, smacking him in the face and Shaun sitting on the floor, thumbing through one of Sam’s sketchbooks. <em>If you’d like more insight, just take a look and see what I’m seeing, dearest.</em>  As he started to chuckle, the rogue gave him a tired look as he mouthed “please save me”.  </p><p>There was a pause, then all of a sudden, Sam began to scream in his head.<em> Holy shit!</em> Sam exclaimed, making Cullen wince. When he did, Cassandra looked at him with concern and started to stand, but he shook his head, waving her off. <em>Sorry</em>, she said quickly, <em>but seriously- what the fuck are they doing there!</em></p><p><em>No clue</em>, he replied as he settled on the floor with Shaun, who was practically beaming at him. <em>I have to go, but please, get here as soon as possible.</em></p><p><em>On my way shortly</em>, she promised.<em> In the meantime, get Baron Plucky and write a letter to Grace- the sooner we do that, the less likely she and John are to murder everyone. </em></p><p><em>Will do,</em> he replied wearily. <em>Love you.</em></p><p><em>Love you too,</em> she replied, leaving him alone in his head again. Once she was gone, he plucked the girl from Hawke and smiled at her. When she let out a giggle and buried her face in his pauldrons, Cullen felt a pang of regret for not contacting Mia and checking on his other nieces and nephews.<em> I’ll write to everyone as soon as we get back from the Winter Palace,</em> he thought to himself. <em>They deserve to know what’s going on. </em></p><p>“Uncle Cullen!” Shaun exclaimed, tugging on his shoulder and startling him out of his thoughts. “Can you show me how to use your sword? I wanna slay a dragon, just like you and Auntie Lana did!” </p><p>Instinctively, Cullen felt his face draw up in horror, picturing his sister-in-law hoisting him up by his collar at the mere thought of letting her son play with a blade. “Absolutely <em>not</em>,” Cullen said, aghast. "Your mother and father would have my head!"</p><p>Instantly, the boy’s face fell and he sighed, realizing just how much he’d disappointed the lad, so he tried a different tactic. “My sword is way too large for you to use,” he said carefully. “But, if your mother doesn’t come and collect the two of you right away, you’re welcome to accompany me to the training grounds and watch your uncle and I train the recruits.” When his eyes grew wide, he waved a finger at him. “I must warn you, it is very, very early in the morning, and your aunt Sam is never up at that time- are you sure you want to join your uncles at such an hour?”</p><p>“Course I do! Don't worry, I’ll be up!” Shaun promised, moving over to Hawke while Cullen grabbed a piece of parchment, settling Jenny on his knee while he began to write. “So, you’re my cousin?” </p><p>“Looks that way, kid,” Hawke replied, then looked at Cullen with a devilish grin. “Say," he said conspiratorily as he leaned toward the boy, "how about I show you how to pick a lock?” </p><p>Shaun gave Hawke a withering look and scoffed, making Cullen chuckle as he tried to keep Jenny from snatching the quill from his hands. “I already know how to do that," he said proudly. "Mom taught me, and she's the best lock picker in the Commonwealth- even Grandpa Nick says so.”</p><p>“Oh really?” Hawke said, the respect evident in his voice as he tossed Shaun his set of lockpicks and guided him over to the locked chest in the corner of the room. “Care to show me your skills, cousin? Fastest one wins?” </p><p>“Oh, <em>man</em> is this the best day ever!” Shaun cried, pumping his fists with glee. “Seriously, I hope Mom and Dad wait a <em>really</em> long time to get us!”</p><p>Cullen looked at him and laughed at the boy as he came to terms with the fact that the happy little girl was not going to let him pen his missive- in the end, he had to give Jenny to Cassandra so he could write. “I wouldn’t go that far, nephew. Though I love having you here, I’m sure your parents miss you two very much and want you both home safe and sound.”</p><p>“I <em>know</em>, “ Shaun whined, scuffing his feet on the floor. “But it’s so much <em>fun</em> here and it’s boring at home. Nothing happens there,” he huffed, giving Cullen such a petulant look that the Commander had to bite back a laugh. “I wanna go out and see dragons and wizards and elves and stuff!"</p><p>"How do you know all of this, Shaun?" Hawke asked curiously, settling in on his knees and resting against the footlocker. "You seem to know a lot about what's happening for someone who isn't from here." </p><p>Shaun drew himself to his full height, puffing his chest out with pride. "Cause Auntie Sam drew all kinds of cool things- she told me about all the battles you guys fought.” Then the boy looked over at Hawke, who had taken off his daggers and set them on the floor. “Whoa,” Shaun breathed as he stared at the knives, his fingers twitching at his sides. "Are those real?" Just as he started to reach out for them, Cullen cleared his throat- instantly, the boy drew his hand back, looking guiltily at his uncle.  “Those are wicked cool, Mister Hawke!” </p><p>“Call me Garrett,” he said with a smile as he ruffled the boy’s hair. “Mister Hawke was my father, kid.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Hancock was not feeling this situation in the slightest. When his mother-in-law told him that his kids had disappeared to wherever the hell it was that Sam had run off to, he felt his knees go weak. But instead of passing out or tossing shit across the room in frustration, he chose to guide his shaken wife to the couch, trying desperately to process what they needed to do next. He looked around the room and focused his gaze on Nia but she was silent, and when a few more moments passed without a word, he let out an irritated sigh. “So, what do we do?”</p><p>“Well, we’ve got a few problems,” Nia said after a minute, settling on the other couch next to her husband. “One, in order to get over there, you both need a token, something that bridges this world and that one.”</p><p>“My kids are there,” he said tersely, not in the mood for any of her riddles or games. “That should be enough.” </p><p>Her lips set in a harsh line that made him want to run away, but he didn't back down- it wasn't his way, even against her. “Are you willing to bet your kids on 'should be'?” Nia asked, staring at him intently. Realizing he didn’t have a good enough answer, Hancock sighed and shook his head, and Nia gave him a curt nod before continuing. "Shaun could do it because he sent those figures to them, so there’s a tie to him over there- he must’ve been holding Jenny when they left.” </p><p>At that, Grace spoke up, still looking at the floor. “What’s the other problem, Mom?”</p><p>“Your husband,” she said simply. “They’re a different world- they’re not going to understand John. They’ve had a few problems with monsters that loosely resemble him, and I don’t want anything happening to my son-in-law.” She sighed, then looked at him with an apologetic look. “It might be best if John stays here-“</p><p>“Fuck that,” Hancock spat. “Those are my kids- if Sunshine goes, I’m going. End of story,” he said flatly, staring at Nia and noting that she didn’t flinch under his steely gaze. “Ma, I know you’ve got a plan- you don’t ever do anything without one.” </p><p>Nia paused, then folded her hands as she stared off into the distance. “I might,” she admitted. “Not sure if you’ll like it, though." </p><p>Just as she was about to continue, a soft caw came from the window- turning around, Hancock saw the large, soot-colored bird in the window, its red eyes staring at them intently. "Wait," John said carefully, "Ain't that Squeak's bird?" </p><p>“It is,” Nia said as she crossed the room toward the bird. “And it appears he has something for us." She reached for the letter and turned the paper over in her hands, then looked over at him and Grace. "It seems that we're lucky you were here when this happened," she said as she extended the paper to them. "Looks like he's got a letter for you that would have taken a lot longer to receive had you been at home.” </p><p>Hancock had to stop himself from practically snatching the rolled-up piece of paper from her fingers. As he tried to read it, a frown crossed his face as he looked at the paper. Though he saw his son’s blocky print spelling out ‘Grace,’ the rest of the letter was unintelligible.  “I can’t read this, Ma," he said angrily. "What’s it say?” </p><p>Nia frowned as she took the paper from him, but her face lit up in a smile as she read the letter. “The kids are fine,” she said, looking over at him and Grace. “They’re with their uncle.” </p><p>Hancock let out a sigh of relief, but Dean rolled his eyes. “It would be Rutherford,” he grumbled, then let out a deep sigh as he stood up and headed for the kitchen. “I’m getting a beer- you want one, John?” </p><p>“Yes,” he said quickly, then turned to Nia- Dean had always been nice to him and he trusted his father-in-law's judgment implicitly, so the way he said the man’s name set John on edge. “Um, is there something I need to know about this man?” Hancock asked warily. </p><p>Dean started to say something, but Grace cut him off, rolling her eyes. “Nah, she said, her voice finally back to normal. “Dad’s still a little pissed that Sam got married without telling him- I swear, he holds a grudge about as long as you do.” As the color returned to her cheeks, she let out a deep breath. “Can you read this, Mom?”</p><p>Nia nodded, then began to read the letter aloud. </p><p>—</p><p>
  <em>My dear sister, Grace,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>First and foremost, Shaun and Jenny are safe and in my care, so please do not worry- also, I have alerted Sam and Lana as to what is going on. In addition, my wife has reminded me that that time moves differently in our worlds, so I am hopeful that this letter reaches you immediately- trust that in your absence, they will be cared for and treated as if they are our own. They are lovely children, though I must admit, young Jenny is rather precocious- she has taken a shine to her cousin Hawke and has made it her mission to pull his hair every chance she gets, delighting in making him grimace in pain. I have chosen not to chide her for this, as the man is a git and deserves every minute of it. On the other hand, Shaun is a brilliant young lad, though he is every bit of an eleven-year-old boy- don’t fret, I have stopped him from trying to play with our swords, though Hawke is now letting the boy break into a footlocker. He says that you are the prized rogue of the Commonwealth (not to mention his aunt shares a penchant for picking locks) so I have allowed it, but if this is unacceptable behavior, I apologize in advance. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I look forward to hearing from you- I just wish I had the opportunity to write to you and your husband under better circumstances. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your brother-in-law,</em><br/>
<em>Cullen Rutherford</em>
</p><p>—</p><p>"He sounds like a stuck-up prick," Hancock grumbled, fiddling with his knife as he glowered at the letter. To his right, Dean let out a low, approving laugh, which he promptly tried to stifle when Nia shot them both a particularly nasty look. "Well, he <em>does</em>," John said flatly, crossing his arms. "He talks like he thinks he's better than us."</p><p>“I don't care if he talks like the goddamn pope,” Grace said as she looked at the others in the room, “as long I know my kids are safe. Doesn’t solve how we’re gonna get them, but I can definitely say I feel a lot fucking better,” she muttered. Hancock just nodded- he felt the same, even if the way the man talked rubbed him the wrong way. “Can you write him back, Mom?” She paused, running her hands through her hair. “Send him a note to tell him thanks for the heads up and let them know we’re working on getting over there?” </p><p>“I got it,” Dean said, taking the paper from his wife and heading off to the kitchen. “C’mon, bird,” he said to the red-eyed raven. “I got a few hot dogs that you might want to chuck down while you wait.” </p><p>The raven let out a happy squawk, then hopped off toward the kitchen with Dean- realizing this was approaching the standard level of crazy around here, Hancock just shook his head and looked at Nia. “So, you said you might have a plan?” </p><p>“Yes,” she said, glancing at him and his wife. “You’ll need to go home and get your bracelet, Grace- I can charge that enough to send you both there, but once you use it, you’ll have to wait a day to use it again.” She gave a helpless shrug. “It’s the best I can do, considering John doesn't have any magic.”</p><p>“My kids don’t have magic,” Hancock complained. “So how did they get over there without this magic bullshit?”</p><p>Nia just gave him a slightly indignant look. "They’re my grandchildren- they most certainly have a little of this 'magic bullshit'." She then turned to Grace with a slight smirk on her face. "Even your wife has some, John."</p><p>He blinked at her statement, but now wasn’t the time to question it- his kids were more important. “Whatever- its a day. We can deal with that.” </p><p>At that, his mother-in-law cleared her throat and glanced over to Dean, who scoffed and shook his head. “Um, I meant a day… here,” she said quietly. “As Cullen mentioned, time moves differently over there.”</p><p>“How much differently?” Hancock asked, staring hard at the woman, who had now begun to fidget- this made him extremely nervous, as Nia never did things like that. “How much time are we talking?”</p><p>“Ten days,” Nia said with a sigh. Hancock stared at her, incredulous- she wanted his family to be trapped out there for <em>ten days?</em> “But, I have to confess, there’s a favor I’d like to ask of you, if possible.” </p><p>“Of <em>course</em> there’s something,” Grace said, rolling her eyes. “Because when do you do <em>anything</em> without getting something in return?” </p><p>“It’s not for me,” she said quickly, causing her daughter to stare at her- curiosity flashed over Grace's face, but it was quickly replaced with understanding. “It’s for your sisters, Grace.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“Well, this is amazing,” Lana remarked. “Not only has Dorian spoken to his father, but we also get an impromptu visit from our family.” Then her face brightened. “Do you think this means we get out of attending the ball?”</p><p>“I think Leli would murder someone first,” Sam said, giving Lana a look that said she thought she was being stupid. “You’re going to the ball, Lana Banana- give it up."</p><p>“I suppose you’re right,” Lana agreed. The two sisters were heading back to Skyhold to help Cullen, while Alistair waited in Redcliffe with Dorian. Lana was quite eager to meet her niece and nephew, but she was still anxious, twisting strands of her hair around her fingers. “Oh, Sam,” she said nervously, “do you think they’ll like me? I’ve never been around children before- what if I do something wrong?” </p><p>“Trust me,” Sam replied. “Shaun thinks you’re the coolest woman on the planet- you fight dragons, Lana.” She grinned happily, staring off in the distance. “And Jenny just wants to be the center of attention and fed- give her food and lots of hugs and you’ll have a friend for life.” Sam paused, then let out a soft laugh. “I just realized that she looks a lot like you, Lana- looks like you and Ali are gonna get to see what your spawn could look like.” </p><p>“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Lana replied with a frown. “What, do you not want children, Sam?”</p><p>“Nope,” she said quickly. “I want to be the cool aunt for eternity. My philosophy is to love ‘em all day and leave them with their parents when I’m done- I’m not feeling the motherhood gig.” </p><p>“That’s surprising,” Lana remarked- she’d always thought her sister would have a family and she’d be the childless one, but with her new lease on life, she and Alistair had a chance of having a family of their own. “I always pictured-“ </p><p>“Then picture something else,” Sam snapped, then put her hands to her mouth when she saw Lana frown. “Sorry, didn’t mean to snap at you, sis- it’s… a touchy subject, that’s all.”</p><p>“I see,” Lana replied, squeezing Sam’s hand as she let the subject drop, wondering what it about the topic that had her sister so on edge.<br/>
—<br/>
“Thank the Maker,” Cullen said as the two of them entered Sam’s quarters. “I am prepared to lead armies into battle, I can handle fighting legions of the undead, and I can plan battle strategies to win a war. But I cannot, for the life of me, get this lovely young lady to go to sleep,” he said wearily, extending the toddler to Lana. “Could one of you please assist me?” </p><p>As she looked into the bright green eyes that mirrored her own, Lana felt her heart melt. “Oh my goodness,” she exclaimed softly, hugging the little girl close to her chest. “I saw your sketches, but I never <em>imagined</em>…” She turned to Sam with a huge smile on her face as she sat in a chair, stroking Jenny's back as she nestled into her bosom. “She’s <em>adorable</em>, Sam.”</p><p>“It’s a trick,” she said with a laugh as she looked around the room. “Did she come with a bag, Cullen?” </p><p>He looked confused, then understanding flashed across his face. “I do believe Shaun had something of the sort with him when he arrived.” The commander raced up the ladder, then gave a triumphant cry as he arrived back down. “I believe this is what he had,” he said, placing the pink bag on the table. “I didn’t think to even look through it.”</p><p>Sam frowned as she leaned over to sniff her niece, then began to rifle through the bag. “She's not rank, so you obviously handled one of her death bombs- how did you change her, then?” </p><p>He gave her a look. “I went to one of the women outside and asked for a diaper- what else would I do?” He smiled at the girl in Lana’s arms, poking her gently in the nose. “Other than the fact that she’s adamant about not going to sleep, we’ve had a perfectly pleasant afternoon, though I suspect she may be hungry- I was loath to locate a wet nurse, as I thought Grace may take offense, so I found some mush instead.”</p><p>“Good call, considering she’s not on the boob anymore,” Sam replied, making Cullen wince. Lana, however, was unphased- she just looked at Jenny, who seemed to be entranced by her curls. “Jenny's a moo-cow kinda girl… ain’t that right, nubbin?” She handed a small, cold tube to Lana. “Here’s her bottle and here’s her teddy bear- give those to her and if she’s dry, she’ll go out like a light.” Then Sam turned and looked around the room, a frown crossing her face. “That takes care of this one, so where’s my nephew?”</p><p>“With Cass,” Cullen replied. “He seemed very disappointed that he couldn’t partake in a sword fight or go ride a dragon, so Cass and Hawke decided to go and spar for him- I’m sure you’ll find them on the training grounds.” When Sam rolled her eyes, Cullen hugged her. “Be nice, love- once Hawke realized that the children were his little cousins, he’s been quite good with them. However, Jenny must know how you feel, as she’s been a right terror to him all day- I daresay he’s going to have quite the headache from those little hands in his hair this morning.”</p><p>Lana let out a laugh as the tiny girl took her bottle, her large green eyes slowly closing with each sip. “I just want to take her with me,” Lana breathed, stroking the girl on her chin as she drank greedily, letting out loud smacking sounds ever so often. “I’ve never gotten to do this before.” </p><p>“Who knew all it took was a baby to turn the fearsome Lana Banana to Jell-O,” Sam said wryly. “Don’t forget, while you’ve got baby on the brain, we still have a mission to handle, sis.” </p><p>“I know,” she said sadly, resting her forehead on Jenny’s and letting off a soft sigh. Then she snapped her head up and stared at her sister. “Wait a minute,” she said suspiciously, “Sam, do you understand what she’s saying?” </p><p>“Duh,” she said with a grin. “Makes me the best babysitter on the planet.” When Cullen shook his head, Sam just smiled. “C’mon, “ she said. “Let’s make her a pallet on the floor- she can nap in here while her uncle works, and we can go find my favorite nephew.” </p><p>“You know,” Cullen said, stretching out the blanket for the sleeping toddler, “you do have other nieces and nephews- my sister has kids, too.”</p><p>“Well, when I meet them, I’ll work on my rankings,” Sam replied as she watched Lana set the sleeping toddler down. Lana felt a pang of guilt as she left her arms, and Sam patted her on the arm. “She’s not going to disappear on you, Lana- I’m pretty sure Cullen will gladly give her back to you when she wakes up.” </p><p>“Of that, you can be sure,” Cullen said with a smile. “But now that you’ve soothed the savage beast, please leave my office- I have work to do, you two.”</p><p>“Spoilsport,” Lana retorted as she walked out the door, hitting her brother-in-law on the arm on her way out.</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>That evening, most of us were having dinner in Lana’s quarters, with Jenny asleep in Alistair’s arms. I had to admit, the two of them did look like natural parents doting over their kid- Ali had taken a shine to her, just as Lana had. It probably didn’t hurt that Jenny <em>did</em> look just like a tiny version of Lana- I had no doubt that the two of them were imagining their future together the entire time they were spoiling their niece rotten. Sadly, Dorian wasn’t with us, but Ali told us not to worry- he wasn’t exactly in the best of moods after our trip today, so we decided to let him be.</p><p>Shaun, on the other hand, was passed out on Lana's sofa. I had almost lost my mind when I saw the little boy bound up from the training yard with a red stripe across his nose, but Hawke had quickly raced up and assured me it was paint- apparently, Shaun wanted a tattoo like his cousin, so Hawke had painted it on for him. According to Cass, Shaun had been ecstatic over everything he'd seen so far, even trying the food once. He'd balked about eating something as mundane as juice boxes and PB &amp; J sandwiches, but after Cullen told him that it didn’t matter what his warriors ate, as long as they finished their dinner, he conceded and contentedly ate his meal.</p><p>When Alistair had returned and introduced himself to the boy, Shaun was beside himself with joy- he'd stuck to his uncles like glue for the rest of the evening. Alistair was only too happy to spend time with his new nephew- to Cullen's chagrin, the warden had taken to running around the grounds with the boy on his shoulders, bellowing to anyone that would listen that he was training and this was his tiny instructor.  When I arrived at Lana’s apartment, I didn’t even get the chance to make him take a bath- Alistair informed me that he’d passed out the moment his tiny body hit the couch. </p><p>“So,” Hawke said, looking around the room at all of us, “while I find my cousins quite wonderful, we do still have to leave for our trip to the Winter Palace.” He gave me a pointed look and I sighed, knowing he was right. “You know your family best, Sparrow- what do we do with our new flock of baby birds?” </p><p>“We take them with us,” I said firmly, causing Cullen to look at me and Lana to smile brightly. “Time passes differently there, and while I’m sure Grace and John are working on getting us a reply or getting over here, we just don’t have the time to wait for them.”</p><p>Cullen frowned. “You want to take your niece… and your nephew…<em> to Orlais?</em>” My husband shook his head. "Have you lost your mind, Sam?”</p><p>Looking up from her notepad, Josephine scowled at him. “Contrary to popular belief, there are children in Orlais, Commander.” He scowled back at the Ambassador, but she continued unabated. “At any rate, we’ll be staying in Gaspard’s estate- our uniforms and clothing are all set to be delivered over there. We can simply say that these are Cullen and Samantha’s wards, and ask one of our colleagues to keep an eye on them during the ball.”</p><p>“Krem or Dalish,” Bull replied, stroking his chin thoughtfully. “Those two wouldn’t mind doing it, especially if it’s a favor to you, Squirt. They’re still riding high from that clean sweep you helped them pull off on that asshat of a nobleman the other day.” </p><p>“Always happy to help,” I said with a slight bow, making Ali chuckle. “See?” I turned to my husband with a wide grin. “All settled, no issues- looks like we’ve got kids for the time being."</p><p>Cole was sitting next to Varric and Hawke, mumbling something to them that I couldn’t catch- I shot the dwarf a look, but he shook his head before addressing the group. “So, while Hero and Sparrow are playing nice with others,” he looked at Leliana, “what do you need the Kirkwall Crew to do?”</p><p>Leliana nodded at the dwarf. “Look for any secret they don’t want us to know about,” she replied smoothly. “This place will be a nest of vipers, and we want every advantage we can get going in there.” She turned to Sera and Solas with an apologetic look. “My apologies, but we were only able to secure you servant roles-“</p><p>“Pshh, ain’t no better place to be,” Sera replied, rocking back and forth on her heels. “All the stuffy blokes want to thumb their noses all night- running around as a lesser makes you more, cause we ain’t gotta play nice with all those twats out there.” I gave her a thumbs up and she grinned. “Too bad this one’s gotta play at being a tosser- we could have lotsa fun with her magic bobbles in that place.” </p><p>“Blackwall and I can keep an eye on things while the rest of you mingle,” Cass replied, stroking Shaun’s hair as he slept. The Seeker had taken to the boy, which wasn’t surprising- Shaun was just as blunt as she was, so the two of them communicated perfectly. “I do not trust anything in that town,” she said darkly. </p><p>“My sentiments exactly,” Cullen replied as I laid my head on his shoulder. “Lana, this all rests with you- do you have any objections or suggestions?” </p><p>“Other than not going at all?” When Leliana shot her a dirty look, Lana laughed. “If that’s not an option, then I suppose not,” she replied as she looked out at all of us and yawned. “In the meantime, I suggest we all get some sleep and prepare- in two days, we must leave for the Winter Palace.” </p><p> </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>As they returned from Lana’s quarters, Sam cradling Jenny and him holding a fast asleep Shaun in his arms, he chuckled to himself at the sight of his wife with the small girl. Lana had not-so-subtly suggested that they leave the kids there, but Sam had just laughed and asked her sister when was the last time she or Ali had ever changed a diaper. When Lana and Ali just looked at her, Sam grinned, promising that she could gladly come over and help her get the little one ready in the morning. This seemed to mollify Lana, who reluctantly handed over her niece with a warning that she would be over bright and early, whether Sam liked it or not. </p><p><em>What are they going to do when Grace comes for her kids,</em> Cullen mused, shaking his head at the thought. When they got inside, he lay Shaun on the bed while Sam carefully arranged Jenny next to him, then stood up and proudly looked over the two sleeping kids. “Not bad for two impromptu caregivers,” Cullen remarked, placing his arm over Sam’s shoulder. “I didn’t know you were so good with children, love.”</p><p>Sam just shrugged, stretching and settling in on the pile of blankets that would serve as their bed for the time being. “They’re my nubbins- I spent every moment I could with them once I was able to get in contact with Grace again.” She got quiet as he finished getting undressed and settled in next to her, wrapped her in his arms. “I do have to admit, it is nice to have them around again, though.”</p><p>“I agree,” he replied, placing a kiss on her shoulder. “Though I admit, it is strange to be wearing so many clothes at night.”</p><p>“Joys of parenting,” Sam murmured, closing her eyes and snuggling against him. “At least it’s not forever, right?”</p><p>He started to say something, but he was interrupted by a soft caw from the windowsill. When Cullen rolled over, he saw Baron Plucky, illuminated by the light of the moon. “Hello, Baron,” Cullen said softly, trying not to wake the sleeping children. “Did they receive my letter?” </p><p>His wife shifted, staring at the bird intently as Baron Plucky nodded. “Are they on their way?” Sam asked, moving to a sitting position next to him. “How about GraceFace? Is she okay?”</p><p>The bird made a noise and Sam listened for a moment before turning to him to translate. “He said there was a bit of an uproar, but things are settling. They're coming over here, but he says when they come, mom said that they can’t go back immediately.” </p><p>Cullen stared at her. “You got all that from that one little noise?”</p><p>Sam just shrugged. “What can I say? Bird language is efficient.” Then she gestured to the bird’s foot. “He also has a letter for you… it’s from my dad. Thought you might want to get that in case it was poison or something.”</p><p>He gave her a look of feigned shock. "And I see my darling wife would have just let it happen- good to know."</p><p>Sam just grinned. "Hey, I can heal you- who's gonna heal me? And besides," she teased, "do you <em>really</em> want to tell him about how you let me get poisoned on your watch?"</p><p>Shooting her a dirty look and fighting the urge to groan, Cullen got up and took the note from the bird, preparing himself for the written tongue-lashing he just <em>knew</em> he was about to receive.<br/>
—<br/>
<em>Rutherford,</em></p><p>
  <em>Glad you wrote when you did- World War III was about to break out in our house. However, you’re kind of a dipshit, kid- did you forget nobody except me and Nia can read your crazy-ass writing? I gotta say, I was kinda impressed with how fast you pissed John off, which I would advise against doing in the future- it's not good for your life expectancy. Speaking of which, you’re about to meet them both, so good luck and try not to get stabbed- Sam might miss you. Your mother-in-law has a plan, but that should surprise exactly no one- I'm guessing the bird told her something because Nia says don’t worry about changing your plans, whatever that means. You know she’ll help them get there, but heaven help you all when they arrive- I love her to death, but Grace is... opinionated, to say the least. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>In the meantime, you better keep my grandkids safe- we haven’t told Grace’s dad what happened yet, but I suspect he’d poison you if anything happens to those kids, and you better believe I’d help him do it. Until they get there, keep an eye on Jenny- that girl looks sweet, but she’s hell on wheels. Don’t fall for the cute act- it’s how she lures you in. Shaun’s a smart kid and loves to build things, so if you got anything that needs fixing you should run it by him- he'll help you out.  By the way, Grace and Sam learned how to pick a lock from me, so he’s goddamn right his mom is the best. Let me know if his cousin beats him- if he does, we got some training to do the next time I see the kid. </em>
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  <em>Anyway… thanks for the heads up, and keep my family safe out there- I’m still looking for a reason to kick your ass. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Dean</em>
</p><p>“That… was shockingly polite for him,” Sam said as she looked over the note with approval. “He must be warming up to you.”</p><p>Cullen smiled as he put the note on the table and settled back down on the floor, lazily stretching out an arm to his wife. “Yes, only one death threat this time," he said with a smirk. "I believe he might even like me now.” </p><p>Sam laughed, snuggling into his arms before pulling the covers over them. “I don’t know if I'd go that far, hon.” </p>
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<a name="section0033"><h2>33. A little help, please</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Inner Circle navigate the Winter Palace</p>
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<hr/><p>As he rode in the carriage on the way to Halamshiral, Cullen looked over at the children sleeping next to him. For the past two days, he had seen as much of Ali and Lana in the mornings as he had his wife- the two of them had practically raced over to their quarters to dote on their niece and nephew. Though Cullen thought Shaun might forgo training instead of sleeping in like Sam was prone to, the little boy was awake as soon as the first ray of light streamed in through the hole in the ceiling, shaking him awake and bouncing from foot to foot. By the time Alistair had arrived, Shaun was already fed and chomping at the bit to see the soldiers. He’d also chuckled when he saw Lana making a beeline to get back in the bed with the little girl- he only hoped that Sam was in a decent mood when she woke up and found her there. </p><p>They'd been invited to have lunch with Josephine the next day, and Cullen had to bite back a laugh when he’d given his nephew the news about his parents- the little boy scowled and crossed his arms, begging his aunts and uncles to let him stay a little longer.  When Sam informed Shaun that his mom and dad planned to stay with them for a few days, he let out a whoop of joy and raced off to find Hawke, yelling about how his cousin needed to meet his mom. Lana just laughed, preferring to give Jenny lots of kisses as Josephine braided her wild curls, watching as both of them began oohing and ahhing after outfitting her in a dress that he’d never seen before. He’d tried to protest, saying that the women were treating the girl like a tiny doll, but Lana and Josie just gave him looks that made him shake his head and retreat before they took a chunk out of his hide. </p><p>“Deep in thought over there?” Alistair asked as he softly patted the back of the little boy stretched out across his lap. “I rarely see you this quiet, Rutherford.” He looked over at Lana, who was singing a soft lullaby to the little girl in her arms while Sam snored against Cullen’s shoulder “Maybe you’re saving all your energy for the dancing?”</p><p>“Hardly,” Cullen snorted. “I’m just thinking about these two and what may happen when their parents arrive. From what I’ve heard, Grace and John are…” he thought about it for a moment, trying to figure out a polite way to phrase his thoughts, “… interesting.” He looked over at his friend, then sighed. “You know of John’s deformity, do you not?” </p><p>“I’ve seen sketches,” he replied, looking down at Shaun before glancing over to his betrothed. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned. However, Sam seems to be content, so I’ll leave the worrying to you on this one.” He leaned back against the seat, then closed his eyes. “So… did having these two around for the last few days show you anything, Rutherford?”</p><p>“Yes, that sleeping on the floor is uncomfortable and that you and Lana are as soft as one of Josephine’s silks when it comes to children,” Cullen teased. “It seems like you two are naturals in the parenting department, however.”</p><p>“Don’t know if we’ll ever get the chance to test it,” Alistair said softly as he looked over at Lana and Jenny, who had drifted off to sleep together. “The taint doesn’t lend itself to Grey Wardens becoming parents, I’m afraid.”</p><p>Cullen frowned. “I thought I heard you say it was difficult… not impossible.” He glanced over and gestured to his sister-in-law, who was currently resting against the window. “Lana certainly seems as if she’d be willing to try.” </p><p>“So would I,” Alistair replied, closing his eyes again. “But enough about me- are you and my sister planning on giving us a nephew or niece?” He smiled at Cullen, then gestured to the boy in his lap. “You and this one seem to get along famously.”</p><p>“We do, don’t we?” Cullen smiled at his nephew’s sleeping form. “Honestly, I hadn’t given it any thought- Sam has never brought up wanting children of our own.” He let out a deep breath, gently stroking Sam's hair. “I’ve only just gotten used to the fact that I finally have my wife with me- I haven't had time to think about anything beyond that.”</p><p>Alistair shifted, placing his hands behind his head. “Fair enough, I suppose.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>As Hancock talked with Dean, Grace was in the living room, frantically shoving their things in a chest and grumbling to herself the entire time. <em>Stupid Middle Ages,</em> she muttered. <em>What’s wrong with having a backpack? Sam has a backpack, so why do I have to lug this behemoth with me? </em></p><p>“Because you’re trying not to stand out,” a voice said from behind her. Grace turned to see her mom, holding an extremely fancy dress and a very nutcracker-like suit in her arms.  “Speaking of, I brought you two some clothes- you’ll need them.”</p><p>“Haven’t you sent us with enough clothes?” Grace pointed angrily to the trunk, blowing a stray curl out of her face. “For fuck's sake, Mom, we’re not moving over there!”</p><p>“You’re going to need these,” Nia said, extending the clothes to Grace. “It’s going to be very important that you two blend in as much as possible out there.”</p><p>Grace looked at her mother, wondering if the woman had finally lost her mind. Frowning, she put a hand on her hip and leaned against the couch. “Um, I don’t know if you noticed, but…” She gestured to the kitchen where Dean and Hancock were chatting over slices of leftover pie, both looking remarkably relaxed despite the situation, “…my husband doesn’t exactly scream normal, Mom.” She looked at her husband and smiled. Despite being well-built and having a smile that could charm the pants off anything, his black eyes, radiation scars, and missing nose ensured that Hancock would never be considered classically handsome. However, how he looked never bothered Grace- he was perfect for her and she’d fight anyone who said otherwise. “No matter what we do, we’re gonna have a time of it over there."</p><p>“But your family loves him,” Nia said with a smile. “And the same is going to be true over there.” When Grace gave her a confused look, her smile brightened even more. “Your family will see him for who he is, scars and all, but everyone else will see what he used to be.” </p><p>Part of her was grateful, but another part was indignant- why should he have to hide who he was at all? “Before you go off on a tirade,” her mom said, raising a slender finger, “I did it that way for a few reasons. One, the kids have never seen their dad any other way- changing that for them would only freak them out.”</p><p>At that, Grace nodded. “I get that, why do we have to change it for anyone? Who gives a shit what they think?” </p><p>“You’ll be thankful for it,” Nia said softly. “Just remember, Thedas is different- it’s not like your home. Remember, not everyone in that crew is family, Grace.” She gave her a severe look, then glanced off in the kitchen. “You’ve always been a good judge of character, so look out for your sisters, would you? A lot is going on over there, and I’m not sure they’re getting the full picture yet.” </p><p>Grace frowned slightly, scanning her mom’s face for a clue- as usual, the woman gave away nothing. “You’re playing at something, aren’t you?” When her mom didn’t respond, Grace felt her frown deepen. “Tell the truth, Mom,” she whispered. “You sent my kids there on purpose, didn’t you?” </p><p>Her mom sighed as she sat down on the couch, tucking a long, dark curl behind her ear. “Yes… and no.” Grace was about to say something, but Nia cut her off. “I changed the way and when, but it was always going to happen.” Grace sighed, and her mom gave her a tired smile, giving a tired shrug of her shoulders. "I just wanted you to be able to help your sisters… that’s all.”</p><p>“Not a fan of you using my kids, but considering you did it for Sam and Lana, I guess I can’t be all that high and mighty about it.” She held her head in her hands, trying to wrap her brain around the situation- her mom had always been deliberately obtuse, but she’d never done anything without a damn good reason. Looking into the kitchen and making sure her husband wasn’t listening, she lowered her voice and turned to her mom. “Is this like what you did for me?”</p><p>“Different method, but yes,” she said softly as she set the clothes on the couch next to Grace. “Lana’s too blunt and Sam is too emotional- they need you, GraceFace.”</p><p>“What, you think adding even <em>more</em> sarcasm to the mix is going to solve something?” Grace scoffed. “Those two are magical powerhouses- I’m pretty sure they got this.” </p><p>Nia smiled, then moved over to hug her eldest daughter. “You know better than most that having magic isn’t everything, kid.” Her mom held her by her shoulders and looked her in the eyes, making her feel like a weight was settling in her stomach. “You read people better than almost anyone, Grace- use that skill of yours. I need you to be the one who sees what they don’t so they get through this... in the best possible way.” She sighed, then let Grace go, sitting on the trunk and staring off into the distance. “Because if what I see is correct, those two are gonna need their big sister.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Looking at my reflection, I felt like a princess from a fairytale. To my delight, the dresses came out beautifully- my sleeveless satin dress was a deep blue, with a sheer high neck made of lace that had gold flecks in it, making it look as if I’d been dusted in gold glitter. I’d drawn a large skirt on purpose- I figured the bigger the skirt, the narrower my waist would look, making them less likely to try and corset me to death. After I’d let them loosely tie me into the dress, I pulled on my detachable arm cuffs- I wanted to be able to freely move, so I’d put my foot down and made some adjustments to Vivienne’s design. Immensely satisfied with my look, I slipped into my gorgeous blue and gold heels, grinning like an idiot as my hair was pinned into a braided crown around my head. “Man.” I sighed happily as I stared at my reflection, “this is beautiful.” </p><p>Lana gave a huff as she walked into the room. “I’m glad someone is happy, dear sister. I, on the other hand, feel ridiculous.” Even though Lana was complaining, I had to stifle a gasp when I turned and saw her. Her dress was similar to mine, but instead of being blue like mine, hers was red with gold accents. Unlike me, the poor girl was corseted within an inch of her life, and her bell sleeves were attached to her dress, flowing down to her fingertips. She scowled as the young elven woman began to curl her hair, sending it down her exposed back in cascading waves. “This is maddening,” she groused with exasperation, lifting the dress angrily and letting it flutter to her side. “Who even dresses like this!” </p><p>“Tonight?” I gave her a bright smile as I started to put on my makeup using the kit Josephine had given each of us. “We do.” I sank into a seat, my legs sticking straight out from the abundance of crinoline. “This is amazing,” I breathed, stroking the seat beneath me. “It’s just like prom, Lana Banana!”</p><p>“If prom is a ripe breeding ground for rumors, backstabbing, and assassinations, then I’d say yes,” Lana grumbled as I finished up my face and started to work on hers. “This whole ordeal is nonsense.” </p><p>“Funny, you describe high school like you’ve been there,” I teased. “How long <em>did</em> you spend with Mom?”</p><p>“Haha, dear sister,” she replied dispassionately as I worked on her eyes, smacking her hand as she started to squirm. “I’m glad you’re amused, at least.”</p><p>“For once in your life, shut up and enjoy yourself a little,” I chided, sweeping blush on her cheeks and stepping back, admiring my handiwork. “All done- you look fab, sis. Ali is gonna lose his shit when he sees you.” </p><p>The elf curling Lana’s hair looked at me strangely and I shrugged, not the least bit interested in curbing my language. When she muttered something under her breath, I just smiled and responded that this is how we usually are together. Instantly, her face went as white as a sheet. “I- I’m so sorry, missus! I didn’t mean-“</p><p>Confused, I looked at her, then at Lana. “Um… am I missing something?” </p><p>Lana sighed. “You were speaking another language again, dear Sam,” she replied, looking at the girl pointedly. “I’m afraid that my sister understands every language she hears, which makes for some interesting situations. Please don't fret," she said with a smile, placing a hand on the girl's arm. "She means no harm, I assure you.” </p><p>"Yeah, what she said," I told her, earning an eye roll from Lana. "Seriously, you’ve done a beautiful job, and we can't thank you enough,” I said sincerely, hoping to put the girl at ease. “So,” I asked casually, trying to relieve the awkward tension, “how long have you worked here?”</p><p>“I…” the girl stammered, looking nervously between Lana and me, “I was brought on to assist with the ball, missus.” </p><p>“Missus sounds plain weird- call me Sam,” I replied with a smile. “And don’t let the weird glowy hand fool you, she’s just Lana. I promise, if you give her treats, she’ll be your friend… just like a Mabari,” I said with a grin, laughing as my sister hit me in the arm. “So with all the niceties out of the way, what’s your name?”</p><p>She stared at me in shock. “You want to know who I am? Why?”</p><p>“Um, because you’ve been in here with your hands in our heads for the last few hours- truth be told, I should have asked when you started, but I was too busy having my breath taken away, then I had to annoy the shit out of Lana here,” I answered. “So, now that I'm behaving like I haven't been raised by wolves anymore, if you’ve got a name, we’d like to know it.”</p><p>Lana nodded in ascent, and the girl gave us both a nervous smile. “Cirrelle,” she said shakily. When she noticed us smiling at her, she visibly relaxed a little. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both.” She swallowed, then looked over at me in amazement. “It’s not every day you meet a human that speaks our language.”</p><p>“Yeah, well I’m a bit of a special case,” I said brightly, walking over to my bag and getting three jolly ranchers. I plucked an apple one in my mouth and handed Lana and Cirrelle one, watching as the elf looked at me in confusion. “It’s candy,” I replied, gesturing to Lana, who was greedily opening the wrapper. “Look, even she’s eating it, so I promise it won’t poison you.” </p><p>Cirrelle laughed, then opened the wrapper. “If you insist.” When the sugar hit her tongue, her eyes went wide. “This is amazing- I’ve never had anything like this before!” </p><p>I grinned, clapping my hands at her delighted reaction. “Glad you like it- personally, I think the grape ones are crappy, but to each their own.” </p><p>As the girl finished Lana's hair, I asked her about where she was from, how she learned how to do hair so well, and how she was liking this whole thing so far. At first, Cirrelle was hesitant to talk, but a few more candies and a few stories from Lana and I made her open up a bit. Eventually, a perfectly done-up Lana emerged, and I stood back to admire our work. "Motherfucking princess," I breathed, twirling my sister around in a circle. Lana and Cirrelle giggled, then Lana gave me a mock curtsey, which I promptly returned.</p><p>After she rose, we looked at each other as we both turned to Cirrelle, giving her a deep curtsey that made the elf blush. "Oh, none of that, please! This was my pleasure, ladies!"</p><p>"You put up with our shit, Cirrelle- you deserve that and so much more," I insisted, reaching over to hug her. "You did amazing- thank you for everything,"</p><p>Her eyes widened in shock as she returned the gesture, looking back and forth between the two of us in amazement. "You... are not what I was expecting," she admitted. "Thank you for a lovely afternoon, ladies- I wish you all the best tonight."</p><p>Just then, Leliana came into the room, looking beautiful in her dress but visibly unnerved- her perfectly done face was pale, while her crimson lips were almost completely hidden as she pressed them together. “Ladies, I’m sorry to interrupt, but I am afraid we need you both in the parlor… right now.” </p><p>In a flash, Lana went from person to Inquisitor- her face went taut and her eyes narrowed, making her look like a stoic queen. “Of course, Leliana- what seems to be the issue.”</p><p>“Well,” she said slowly, not taking her eyes off me, “it seems that your brother and sister have arrived.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>With a thudding heart, Lana grabbed Sam’s hand and walked toward the parlor. She had been hoping for and dreading this day ever since her niece and nephew arrived in Thedas, but now that it was finally here… </p><p>Nervously, she looked at Sam. “I don’t know if I can do this,” she whispered. “Meeting my sister in addition to navigating this ball… I fear I might lose my mind, Sam.”</p><p>“It’s Grace,” she replied, squeezing her hand tightly. “And remember that no matter what, I got you. No one fucks with my sister… not even my other sister.” Lana shot her a grateful smile, which Sam quickly returned. “We’re family, Lana, “ she whispered back. “I know you didn’t have much to do with yours, but in our family that means something. No matter how you came to join us, we stick together… no matter what.”</p><p>Lana nodded, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath as Sam opened the door. “I love you, Sam.”</p><p>“Love you too, Lana Banana.”</p><p>Just as the doors swung open, Lana heard an ear-splitting shriek. “Oh my fucking god, my little sisters are here!” Snapping open her eyes, Lana watched in shock as the small curly-haired woman in the blue dress came barreling toward them, enveloping them both in a tight hug as she placed a big kiss on Sam’s cheek. “I’ve missed you so much, Squeak!” Then she turned to Lana, stepping back for a moment before looking her over and smirking. “Holy shit, you’re tall- where the fuck were you when we were growing up and mom hid the treats on the top shelf?” Lana started to stammer out a response, but Grace just smiled, pulling her in for a tight hug. “It’s amazing to finally meet you in person, sis,” she whispered. “Welcome to the family, kiddo.”</p><p>Still flustered from the whirlwind of activity, Lana jumped as a throat cleared from behind her. When she turned around, she was surprised to see a man about her height in an Inquisition uniform smiling at her and Sam. He looked different from when she saw him last, but the smile on his face was unmistakeable- this was John Hancock, through and through. “John?” Lana asked tentatively. “Is that you?” </p><p>“In the flesh,” he said with a grin. “Well, what’s left of it, anyway.” </p><p>Without thinking, Lana burst out laughing, causing her brother-in-law to chuckle as he walked over, tentatively extending his hand. “Good to finally meet ya- heard that you’ve been out here causin’ a ruckus,” he said with a grin as he jerked a thumb at Grace. “Suppose it makes sense, you are related to this one, after all.” </p><p>Ignoring his hand, Lana reached over and hugged the man, noticing the scent of cloves and something else she couldn’t name as she wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you for everything,” she whispered. “I hear you saved our sister... for that, I am eternally grateful.”</p><p>"Anytime," he said softly as he patted her on the back, then pulled away. “What’s with you girls and all these hugs?” John said in his normal tone as he looked her over. “Guy like me could get used to being showered with hugs by beautiful women.”</p><p>“Well, duh,” Sam said, racing over and giving John an embrace that almost knocked him off his feet. “I’ve missed you, you evil sonofabitch!” </p><p>“Same here, weirdo, he said as he hugged her back. “Still fucking shit up with your crazy-ass powers, huh?” </p><p>“You know I am,” she said with a grin. “Didn’t think you’d be coming, John- what gives?”</p><p>“Wherever Sunshine goes, I follow- you know that,” he replied, looking over at Grace. “Plus, I think you and your husband have something of ours.” He looked around the room, then frowned. “So, where you guys hidin' my kids, Squeak?” </p><p><em>Squeak?</em> Lana looked at Sam, who winced.<em> Today is the first I’m hearing of that nickname, dear sister- I must say, it suits you,</em> she thought with a grin.</p><p><em>Not you too,</em> Sam groaned as she glared at John.<em> I swear, I’m going to murder both of them.</em> Then the connection died, and Lana was confused for a moment before she realized that she was reaching out to Cullen. Her supposition was confirmed when the Commander came into the room a moment later with Shaun, followed by Ali holding a very sleepy-looking Jenny in his arms. </p><p>Shaun was engrossed in a conversation with Cullen, but once the boy noticed his parents, his eyes widened. “Mom! Dad!” Shaun exclaimed, letting go of Cullen and racing over to hug his mom. “Did you guys ride the carriage to Orlais too? I got to ride with Uncle Cullen and Alistair and hear about the time they fought a dragon cause Auntie Lana said it was something Auntie Sam would want them to do- it was so cool!” Then he pulled away, giving Grace a stern look. "We're not leaving right now, are we?"</p><p>Shaking her head no, Grace laughed as she clutched the little boy in her arms while Jenny reached for her dad, screaming bloody murder the whole time. She chuckled her head as her daughter practically launched herself into John’s arms, burying her chubby face in his shoulder. “Looks like she missed you, John.”</p><p>“Feeling’s mutual,” he replied as he kissed the top of her head. Then he glanced over at Cullen and Ali, who hadn't moved from their positions by the door. “So, these my new in-law's?" John looked Cullen up and down, then let out a soft huff. "Gotta say, Rutherford, you don’t look like the type of bastard Dean made you out to be."</p><p>"Oh, I assure you he is," Ali said, earning him a scowl from Cullen. "Be sure to go back and tell their father he's every bit of an asshole and I am the brother you prefer." </p><p>"Hey!" Shaun said, heading over to poke Ali in the side, making him chuckle. "Dad can't tell Grampa Dean that- Uncle Cullen is super nice!" He turned to his dad with a pleading look. "You won't, right? I like them both- hanging out with them has been awesome!" </p><p>"All right kid, but only because you vouched for him," John said good-naturedly. "Guess if my kid likes you, you might not be as big of a prick as I thought, Rutherford.” </p><p>This made Alistair snort, adjusting the collar of his matching uniform. “Hey John, how’d you get roped into wearing this horrible suit? I don’t know about you, but it itches something terrible.” Then his eyes got wide as he stared at him. "Wait- did Vivienne and Josie get to you, too?" </p><p>John looked thoughtful for a moment, then pulled a candy from a tin in his pocket. “Wait, is Vivienne the barbie doll?”</p><p>When Cullen made a show of looking around and nodding, Grace let out a snicker and gestured to her similar-looking blue dress. “Nope- this is all Mom’s doing. Looks like she’s been peeping in your windows, guys- it seems like we’re going as a trio. Thedas version of TLC? Can I be Left Eye?” When Sam opened her mouth, she cut her off. “Nah, that’s you, Squeak- no one wants to hear you sing. I’ll be T-Boz instead. Lana can be Chili.”</p><p>Stunned, Lana looked at John, who seemed just as confused as she did. “Don’t worry about it,” he advised. “I’ve learned to just go with the crazy shit that flies out of her mouth.” Then he smiled at Alistair, hooking his hand in his waistband and looking extremely relaxed despite the formal attire he was wearing. “Since that's Rutherford, you must be Alistair, right?” </p><p>“The one and only Alistair Theirin, at your service,” he replied, extending his hand. "I'm the good brother-in-law- it's a pleasure to meet someone with such good taste," he said with a wink. </p><p>Grace shot Alistair and Lana a look, then put her hands on her hips. “What the hell? Did you guys get married already and not tell us? For fuck's sake, you couldn’t wait till we got here?” </p><p>Lana smiled as she grabbed Alistair’s arm. “Not yet, dear sister. But I still think of him as my betrothed- we’ve spent too many years apart for me to think of anything else.” </p><p>“Good!” Grace said, then she pulled out her phone. “Now that I’m not ready to murder you, can you two please get your butts over here and take a picture with me? We all look amazing and I want at least one picture together where we look like we believe in soap and water!”</p><p>She started to protest, but Sam just smiled, shaking her head. <em>I got this,</em> she said in her head.<em> Time is stopped out there- no one's gonna know about this but us, Lana Banana.</em></p><p><em>Do they know?</em> Lana thought, glancing over at Grace as she fiddled with the device. <em>Is it safe for us to be like this?</em></p><p><em>For a little while, yeah,</em> Sam said. <em>Don't worry- I'll restart everything when she finishes. Gotta give her this, at least- I have been gone for a minute. </em></p><p>Lana nodded, relaxing as she watched Grace hand the phone to John, who gestured for the girls to get together as he took their photo, with Cullen and Alistair looking surreptitiously over his shoulder as he did. </p><p>“Got it,” he replied, showing the other two men the picture as Grace returned to his side and put the phone in her pocket, kissing him on the cheek.  He gave Sam a grin, and she rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “Besides, I’m pretty sure Squeak’s gonna take that and make a sketch out of it.”</p><p>Just then, there was a soft knock on the door, letting Lana know that Sam had restarted the flow of time. “I do apologize for the intrusion,” Leliana said as she entered the parlor, frowning slightly as her eyes rested on John and Grace, “but we have to leave for the ball." As her eyes roamed over John, Lana could see the slight downturn in her lips. "I’m sure we can catch up with your family upon our return, Inquisitor.”</p><p>If Lana wasn’t sure if her sister and brother caught the slight, one look at Sam confirmed it. <em>Shit</em>, Sam said in her head, <em>they’re the wrong ones to try it with, Leli.</em> She looked at Lana and bit her lip.<em> Grace and John read people like books- I can tell by the way his hand is twitching at his side that John heard exactly what she didn’t just say. </em></p><p>Lana groaned as she looked over at Grace, who was muttering to herself and staring at the ceiling while John squeezed her hand. <em>I have to intervene, don’t I?</em></p><p><em>If you want our friend to keep her head on her shoulders or not get punched in the face, I’d suggest you step in.. and soon.</em> Sam sighed, walking over to her sister and giving her a look. <em>Grace… is diplomatic when she has to be, but the moment you insult her family all bets are off. I swear, the girl could be cast as one of the Real Housewives of New Jersey… and she'd still get in trouble. </em></p><p><em>Oh! Is that similar to the show about the ladies that reside in that place called Atlanta?</em> When Sam shot her a look, Lana rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. “Leliana,” she said politely, “I believe my mother’s intent was for John and Grace to accompany us tonight.”</p><p>"Yep," Grace said with a smile. "Mom put us on the guestlist- the Inquisition's got a plus two for the night, so no worries there."</p><p>“Oh.” Leliana went pale for a moment before her face resumed its mask of composure. “Lana, Sam... may I speak with you for a moment in the other room?”</p><p>At that, Sam put her head in her hands as they both watched Grace's face contort into an expression of controlled rage. “No, you can say what the fuck you have to say right here,” Grace shot back, her hands on her hips. “You might wanna try that shit with someone who doesn’t know better, but I can assure you, we’re <em>not</em> the ones.” She turned to Sam and Lana, pointing furiously and shooting daggers with her eyes at Leliana. “You two are <em>damn</em> lucky you consider her family, ‘cause otherwise I would be all up in this prissy bitch's ass like a motherfucking <em>thong</em> right now.” </p><p>"Grace..." Sam said softly, looking down at the kids and then back to her sister. "Little ears, remember?" </p><p>"Fuck that- those are my kids, Squeak," she spat. "They've heard worse!"</p><p>John just chuckled, shaking his head as he tried to calm his wife down. "That they have... But how's about we try using our words <em>before</em> you start a fight with the racist lady, Sunshine?"</p><p>Leliana blanched at his casual statement and Sam bit her lip, looking as if she was trying not to laugh. "I... I meant no disrespect, John," the spymaster said quickly. "It is just... it is just that Orlais is a very odd town, and-"</p><p>Lana just stared at her sister, quite perturbed at the outburst going on around her and trying to make some sense out of it. Grace must’ve noticed the confusion on Lana’s face because she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Mom hit John with some weird hocus pocus,” she said irritably. “Anyone who’s like family to you sees your family as they are… but anyone else sees John how he used to be.”</p><p>"So," Lana said carefully, "Then that means..."</p><p>"Yep, you got it, sis." Grace turned back to Leliana, who was now standing stock-still next to them- though her sister seemed calmer, Lana was still afraid that the two of them would come to blows at any moment. “ Anyone you’re trying to impress is only gonna see exactly what they expect to see, which is a man that looks a hell of a lot like Lana.” Blowing out a deep breath she turned to John, who had placed his hands on her shoulders to calm her down. Lana also noticed that he was also in a good spot to restrain the woman if she lost her temper again, and she wondered how often this type of thing happened with Grace. “Does that about cover it, hon?” </p><p>“Well, considering we’ve been here less than thirty minutes and you’ve already shown your entire ass, I’d say so,” he replied with a smirk, turning to Leliana. “And I have to let you know that even though it looks like she’s been raised by rabid Yao Guai, I can assure you that Sunshine does, in fact, know how to behave.” </p><p>“Since when?” Sam muttered under her breath, causing Cullen to elbow her in the ribs. At that, Alistair began to chuckle, turning away from them to hide his face. </p><p>Shaking his head, John smiled at the spymaster and carefully walked over to her, pausing to whisper something in Leliana's ear. For a moment, Leliana went tense, but as he spoke, her lips broke into a slow smile and she turned to look at the man next to her. “An astute way to turn the situation to our benefit… thank you for your insight, John.” Then she turned to Grace and cleared her throat, lowering her eyes. “And again, I apologize, Grace- I meant no offense. I was only thinking of the success of our mission” </p><p>“Whatever,” Grace said as she narrowed her eyes at her husband. In response, John simply smiled and walked back over to the woman, placing a kiss on her cheek. “If he isn’t mad, then I guess I can let it go.”</p><p>"Appreciated," Leliana replied, looking over the room. "Lana, per John's suggestion, take your sisters with you. John will arrive separately with Cullen and Alistair." She looked over at the Commander, who simply nodded. "Cullen, I need you to behave tonight- no grimaces, and engage in small talk, please!" </p><p>"Must I?" Cullen asked with a scowl, which only softened when his wife slipped a hand around his waist and stared straight ahead. After a few moments, the Commander began to adjust the collar of his uniform. "Well... I suppose I could manage a few conversations," he stammered. "I... will do my best, Leliana."</p><p><em>What in the Maker did you just tell him?</em> Lana asked her sister, noting the flush on her brother-in-law's face. <em>Do I even want to know?</em></p><p><em>Not in the slightest,</em> Sam replied happily. <em>It wouldn't go well for you or anything you've eaten today.</em></p><p>Oblivious to their conversation or simply choosing not to care, Grace turned to look at her son, who was simply sitting on the couch with a sweet roll he’d stolen from the table. “Do we have someone to handle these two munchkins while we go storm the Middle Ages version of the Met Gala?”</p><p>“And I thought Sparrow was bad,” Ali whispered in her ear- Lana poked him in his side. Undeterred, he looked at the group. “Is it terrible that I’m now looking forward to going to this horrible spectacle for Grace's reactions alone?”</p><p>“We all have parts to play,” Grace replied. "I used to work for the District Attorney’s office- I used to shake so many hands and kiss so much ass that my lips were constantly chapped.” Sam just rolled her eyes, but Grace just smirked. “I think I can handle this, guys.”</p><p>“I certainly hope so,” Leliana replied, looking at Lana pointedly. “Because tonight, we’re here to stop an assassination.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>When we arrived at the palace, I let out a gasp of shock. “Holy shit,” I whispered, nudging Lana and Grace as we walked toward the gates. “This place is huge!”</p><p>“Ladies,” Josephine said as she strode up to us, “Leliana has made me aware of the new additions to our operation tonight, so I wanted to make sure you were given sufficient information, Grace.” She smiled at her. “I’m afraid we didn’t get the chance to formally meet- my name is Josephine Montilyet, ambassador to the Inquisition.”</p><p>“Grace Hancock, general of the Minutemen,” she said with a smile as she gave Josie a curtsey. “A pleasure to meet you.”</p><p>I looked at my sister, shocked. “Um, who the fuck are you and what did you do with our Grace?” </p><p>She smirked at me, twirling a curl around her finger. “Told you… I know what to do, Squeak.” When I frowned at her, she punched me lightly in the arm. “Ok, full disclosure, Mom taught John and I a bunch of this ages ago- we thought Lana must’ve been a princess or something. Just goes to show that woman never does anything without a reason.” </p><p>Josie just laughed. “Whatever the reason, I’m happy to see it- this place is a stickler for decorum. However, I must warn you that everything is a part of the Grand Game from this point onward- how you respond, how you move, who you’re seen with, Lana... it all plays a part in how well-received the Inquisition is tonight.”</p><p>“Long story short, don’t fuck up, right?” When she looked at me and nodded, I gulped and nervously smoothed my dress. “Great- no pressure, guys."</p><p>Grace just nodded serenely, extending her elbow to Lana. “Then let us be off - we can’t keep Lana's adoring public waiting, now can we?”</p><p>Mentally reeling at the whiplash my sister was giving me, we headed over to be introduced to our host for the evening. After feigning interest at whatever Lana and Gaspard De Chalons had to say, the three of us began to make our way toward the palace. “Guess your friend was right,” Grace said with a sigh as we walked. “Something is gonna go down tonight, guys.”</p><p>Lana glanced over at Grace, keeping her head facing straight ahead. “What makes you say that?” </p><p>Grace scanned the garden, then frowned slightly. “If I was trying to assassinate someone, you better believe it’s going to be during an event like this. However,” she said, putting a finger to her lips, “that was real sketch back there.” </p><p>I started to turn my head, but Grace gave an almost imperceptible shake of her head and I resumed facing forward. “I’m not an advisor, Squeak- don’t give them any more of a reason to think I’m important.” I nodded slightly, then she continued. “Anyway, it’s sketchy- we just meet the man and all of a sudden he’s pointing fingers at someone? That’s quite convenient, don’t you think?”</p><p>“He invited us,” Lana said quietly as they stood by the gate. “Why would he want us investigating an event that he had a hand in?”</p><p>“Because he thinks he’s smarter than you,” Grace said quietly, her eyes darting around the garden. “Give you a target to go after, while he does whatever it is he’s planning right under our noses.” Suddenly, she folded her hands in front of her chest and let out a loud sigh. “This place is absolutely beyond compare!” Grace said in a normal tone, holding Lana’s arm and smiling at her. “To think, it took the Hero of Ferelden becoming the Inquisitor to finally visit the Empress of Orlais!”</p><p>“Grace, how do you know about that, and have you lost your flipping mind?” I hissed under my breath, my face locked in a smile as I tried to think of a way to explain to Leliana why we’d gotten put out before the ball even started. “What part of ‘don’t fuck it up’ wasn’t clear to you earlier?”</p><p>She didn’t reply- instead, she just leaned over to Lana and let out a laugh as if she’d been told a joke. “Oh, I suppose saving the world and rebuilding the Grey Wardens was more pressing- I’m just glad that you were able to make it here tonight!” </p><p>Before I could muzzle my sister, two women in masks came up to us, staring curiously at Lana. “Pardon me,” one said in a thick Orlesian accent, “but we absolutely must know- you are Solana Amell, leader of the Inquisition, no?” </p><p>Lana’s face was a polite mask as she smiled at the woman. “I am, yes.” </p><p>The woman tilted her head, her expression hidden beneath the mask she wore. “And you are the Hero of Ferelden? The mage who stopped the blight?” </p><p>I felt her bristle slightly, but I reached out in her head. <em>Careful</em>, I told her. <em>Looks like they’re trying to get a reaction. </em></p><p>“Yes, she said simply, offering a polite smile. “Though I must say, the success of the Inquisition is my utmost concern these days.” Then she turned to me and Grace. “I’m afraid we must get inside,” she said with as much sincerity as she could muster- I could practically feel the irritation coming off her. “Have a wonderful evening.”</p><p>As soon as we turned around, I heard the women begin to talk amongst themselves. “Ah, so that is why the woman is in such a high position- surely they wouldn’t have had a <em>mage</em> representing them otherwise.”</p><p>I glanced over at Grace, trying to hide my amazement- Lana had a smirk on her face. “GraceFace, how did you know those two were up in their feelings about Lana being a mage?”</p><p>“I didn’t know that,” she said sheepishly. “I just could see them whispering and pointing- usually that means gossip. They kept it up when we got closer, then clammed up as we passed- figured I’d drop a few of her achievements and see if that might shut them up a little.”</p><p>“I can’t believe you paid attention to my stories,” I said, shaking my head. “Who would’ve thought that our rooftop chats would save the day?” </p><p>“I always listen,” she said with a smile, threading her hand in mine as we waited to be introduced at court. “Those skills tend to come in handy, you know.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>After being introduced, Cullen made a beeline to get away from the throngs of nattering nobles. Cullen had hoped that introducing Samantha as his wife would deter the nobility from harassing him, but he was having no such luck- no matter which way he turned, the Commander was accosted by nobles asking question after question. For Josie’s sake, he tried to remain polite, but all his composure flew out of the window when someone reached over and tweaked his rear. Instantly he went pale, feeling his chest constrict as he struggled to find his voice.</p><p>Just as he felt as if he was going to run out of his skin, a smooth voice came from behind him. “Pardon me,” it said as the man sidling up to him. Cullen glanced out the corner of his eye, noticing his brother-in-law swaggering over to this particularly handsy group of nobles, then casually resting a hand on the pillar. “Ladies, gentlemen,” John said, taking the hand of one woman and placing a kiss on the knuckle of another, causing the two women to titter with glee, “I’m afraid I have to steal the Commander for a moment. But,” he said as he smiled at the women and nodded at the man clutching his chest, “when I finish up with him, I’d be happy to join y’all out on the dance floor for a bit.”</p><p>The woman gripped John’s hand tighter, fanning herself with a garish-looking plume and sending over a cloud of putrid perfume that made Cullen’s eyes water. “I…we…yes!” </p><p>When no one moved, John squeezed her hand and placed the other on the man’s shoulder. “Now you lovely bunch know that I can’t rightly talk with my Commander with you standing here.” Then he tapped the other woman on the nose, causing her to let out a happy sigh. “Promise, I’ll find you all when we finish- there’s no way I could miss such a gorgeous bunch of people.” Then he leaned over, whispering conspiratorially. “Do a man a favor? Keep the others away till I get to the dance floor?"</p><p>“Of course!” The man said eagerly as he escorted the two women away. “We’ll be looking for you, handsome.”</p><p>“Counting on it,” John called after them, giving a jaunty wave. Then he leaned against the pillar, turning his head to Cullen. “You a'ight, brother?” </p><p>Grateful and amazed, Cullen looked at John and let out a sigh of relief. “Maker,” he breathed. “I thought I was going to be eaten alive by those vultures,” he said with a shudder. “Thank you, though I am sorry you’re going to have to dance with them later.”</p><p>John just shrugged. “Won’t happen- they’re gonna be too busy fighting over who gets to go first that none of ‘em will do it. Ain’t no better way to start a catfight, trust me.” </p><p>For the first time since he’d entered this horrible building, Cullen let out a laugh. “I’d chide you on your behavior, but seeing as how I’m reaping the benefits, one supposes I can’t say too much, can I?”</p><p>“Nope,” John said, reaching for a pastry. Quickly, Cullen grabbed his hand. “Don’t eat anything here unless Sera tells you it’s okay,” he whispered. “Sera’s working in the kitchens tonight and trust me, you don’t want to be on the receiving end of one of her pranks.”</p><p>“Good call,” John said, watching the elf scuttle past them. “Anyway, I did come over here for a reason.” He looked around, then folded his hands behind his back. “Been ear hustling for the redhead, and she wants me to work with Squeak and send Lana over to talk with her.  Have you seen the two of them yet?” </p><p>Cullen shook his head. “They’ve been shaking hands and making introductions since we arrived. However, I’ll give her the message,” he replied with a smile, tapping his head. “Seems that this will come in handy tonight.”</p><p>“Man, I wish Sunshine and I could do that,” John said with a chuckle and shake of his head, patting his pockets for something and letting out a sigh when he found nothing. “Do you know how much easier that would’ve made my life?”</p><p>“Ask your sister about it,” he said as he closed his eyes. <em>Sam</em>, Cullen said, L<em>eliana needs Lana as soon as possible, not to mention she wants you and John to work together. Can you send her over to our spymaster, please?</em></p><p><em>Good, I’m tired of all of these people anyway-  I’ve never met a more insincere bunch of people in my life</em>, she groused. <em>I have to check almost every single decision that Lana makes to see if it’s offending someone or another and I’m exhausted already. How much longer before someone tries to get stabby with it?</em></p><p><em>Hopefully never, love</em>, he replied. <em>At any rate, come find me and John quickly, please- I don’t want Leli anymore riled up than she already is.</em></p><p><em>Will do,</em> she replied. I see him. Then she let out a gasp, and Cullen instantly tensed up. <em>Holy shit,</em> she said quietly,<em> I didn’t know he looked like that before- damn, John was a cutie back in the day.</em></p><p>Cullen felt himself frown. <em>I’m of two minds here- part of me wishes to know how you can make such a statement and the other part wants to chide you for making it in the first place. </em></p><p>Sam let out a laugh. <em>When I see things this way, I can see what he looks like to everyone else- seriously, it’s like Lana merged with a cute guy that has a penchant for drugs and sharp objects.</em> His wife chuckled. <em>Now I see why Jenny looks so much like her. </em></p><p><em>Enough, please,</em> Cullen said pointedly. <em>Can you get out of my head and over here in person so I can start using my wife as a shield from all these vultures? </em></p><p><em>Have no fear,</em> she giggled, making him smile despite his irritation over the evening. <em>Super Sam is on the way. </em></p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>After leaving the empress, Lana made her way over to Leliana, who was whispering to Josie about the shoes of a woman passing by. Amused, Lana cleared her throat, causing the two women to startle and look up at her sheepishly. “Lana,” Josie said, looking over at Leliana, “we were just-“</p><p>“Taking part in the national pastime of Orlais?” Lana teased. When the two women gave her slightly embarrassed grins, Lana smiled. “Oh I could care less- these people are giving me a headache anyway. Sam said you wanted to see me?”</p><p>“I did,” Leliana agreed. “What have you found out during your time here?”</p><p>“That Gaspard suspects Briala of wrongdoing, but Grace is convinced it’s him that is up to no good. Also, I’m learning that despite her initial reactions, Grace is, in fact, quite shrewd- she has already foiled an attempt to besmirch my name and danced with some smelly noble so that I wouldn’t have to.” Lana shook her head, shuddering to think about being forced to dance any more than she was required to. “I owe that woman whatever drink she wants."</p><p>“And I may owe her a job offer,” Leliana said approvingly. Lana scoffed, causing Leliana to let out a soft laugh. “I don’t discount her knowledge, but I think we should still follow up on Briala." Lana started to say something, but Leliana quickly cut her off. "However, I think the Kirkwall Crew might be able to assist with that task, as I have a job for you.”</p><p>“There is no dancing involved, I hope,” Lana replied, crossing her arms and frowning. “I swear... if one more person tries to paw at me tonight-“</p><p>Again, her friend laughed. “No dancing… just information that I think a mage such as yourself is in the best position to determine."</p><p>Lana paused, her ego now sufficiently stroked by her friend's vagueries. "I find my interest piqued, Leli."</p><p>I’m hearing rumors of an occult advisor that has gotten extremely close to the Empress lately… almost supernaturally so.” Leliana stared at her, her blue eyes darting across Lana’s face. “This seems like a great method for someone to strike at Celene, no?”</p><p>Finding no fault with her logic, Lana had to agree. “I’ll look into it,” she promised. “Besides, what’s one more suspect in this nest of vipers?”</p><p>Leliana squeezed her shoulder, then kissed her on the cheek. “I knew you’d understand,” she replied with a smile. "Maker be with you, Inquisitor." </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“This uniform is positively awful,” Hawke complained as he adjusted himself, causing a man nearby to put his hand to his mouth and smile, giving the rogue a flirty little wave. Varric rolled his eyes as Hawke smiled and waved back. "What?" Hawke asked innocently. "I was being polite- no harm in that, is there?"</p><p>Before the whole mess could get out of hand, Cole walked over to the man and whispered something in his ear. When the man nodded and walked off, the boy returned to Varric and Hawke. “I helped,” he said proudly. “He remembered other things he had to do, so he left.”</p><p>“You sure did help, kid,” Varric replied, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Now we just gotta get someone to talk to us so we can figure out what’s going on with this Briala woman.”</p><p>“Agreed- it’s like the moment these elves see a human, they immediately go mute." Hawke huffed as he leaned against the wall. “I swear, I wish Merrill was here- maybe they’d talk to her.”</p><p>Varric started to say something, but Cole cut him off. “Something’s happening, don’t want her involved.” The boy stared after the small elven woman running through the hallway. “She was nice to me, can’t let them hurt her."</p><p>“He’s better than a town crier,” Hawke mumbled, closing his eyes and slouching his shoulders. “So, care to share who is our dear elf is looking for?”</p><p>“Our Sam,” he replied. “She likes her- she speaks her language, makes her feel normal, gives her sweet treats.” Cole looked at them, his wide eyes serious. “She wants to help.”</p><p>The boy's words had caught Hawke's attention and he immediately straightened up, glancing around the ballroom. “Fuck... looks like my cousin will need to lend us a helping hand,” the rogue said, pushing himself off the wall. “Cole, do you know where she is?”</p><p>He paused for a moment to think. “She’s with her brother from far away, listening to secrets others don’t want them to hear. They think she doesn’t know, but she does.”</p><p>“Oh, he means Shaun’s dad,” Varric said thoughtfully. “Heard him and her sister were here- was wondering when we’d get the chance to see them.” He looked at Hawke, who nodded. “Lead the way, Cole- let’s go find Sparrow.”</p><p>Cole nodded and after a few twists and turns, they made their way to a balcony, where Sam and a man who had his back to them were having a conversation. When Sam saw them, her expression faltered for a moment before giving them a small wave. “Sup,” Sam said, her eyes scanning over them. “We’re on a mission from Leli, so…”</p><p>“Looks like our missions are overlapping,” Varric replied amicably, hoping to ease his friend. “We can’t get any of the elves to talk to us, but a certain elven serving girl is looking for you, Sparrow- think you can see what she wants and help us out?”</p><p>Sam got a worried look on her face. “You mean Cirrelle? What’s wrong- is she ok?”</p><p>“Not sure,” Hawke replied. “We saw her as she was running off. Cole heard- I mean read- oh bloody hell, I don’t know what he did, but he knows that she needs to talk to you.” He gave his cousin a look. “Can you still do that thing where you can find anyone you’ve ever seen?"</p><p>The man with her turned to face them and Varric had to stifle his surprise at his appearance. However, he must not have been fast enough, because the man gave him a smirk. “Yeah, sorry ‘bout hittin’ you with the full force of the ugly. On the plus side, I know Squeak thinks you’re family, so I won’t hold it against ya. John Hancock, mayor of Goodneighbor,” he said, extending his hand. “I’m Squeak’s brother-in-law.”</p><p>“Varric Tethras, author, Garrett Hawke, your cousin, and Cole,” Varric said, shaking his hand and pointing to each of them in turn. “Glad to finally meet you- I gotta say, your kids are something else.”</p><p>“In so many ways,” he replied cheerily before turning to Sam. “So, Squeak, you got a weirdo people-finder now?”</p><p>Sam scowled, hitting him in the arm. “I wish you two would stop calling me that!” Then she blew out a deep breath, closing her eyes. “Yeah, I can find her. Guys," she said to Varric and Cole, glancing over Hawke, "cover me.”</p><p>John looked surprised, but the other three men huddled around the girl, hiding her from view. In the blink of an eye, Sam had disappeared, leaving them with a very confused-looking John. “Well, that’s fucking new,” he said with a mild bit of amusement. “I swear, this family…” he shook his head and sighed. “I really want a goddamn cigarette right now.”</p><p>“Don’t know what those are, but if you’re heading back to Skyhold, I got a couple of drinks with your name on it if you help us out,” Varric replied, looking to make up for his earlier slight to the man. “Any good at cards, John?”</p><p>“I play a wicked hand of Caravan, but I don’t think that’s what you mean,” John said as he stared out over the balcony. “But give me a few drinks and a couple of Mentats and I can learn just about anything.”</p><p>“Are you from the same place as Sparrow?” Hawke asked curiously. “I remember her saying something a long time ago about not being able to find Grace... where did you guys disappear to?”</p><p>“Nah, Sunshine and I live somewhere else,” John replied. Varric noticed the man had dodged the rest of the question, but he figured he wouldn't push it. After a few moments of awkward silence, the man took a look at Hawke and cleared his throat. “So, you’re the one Squeak's pissed at, huh?”</p><p>It was now Hawke’s turn to sport the confused look, making John laugh as he relaxed against the railing. "What makes you say that?" </p><p>“That girl is usually disgustingly happy, but when she saw you, she toned it down to normal levels, which must mean she’s pissed. Plus, she flinched when he-“ John pointed to Varric- “-introduced you. Two plus two and all that jazz.”</p><p>Varric gave John a nod of approval. “Not bad, Mayor. Yeah, he pissed her off a while back- it seems like Sparrow holds a grudge.”</p><p>“Must be a family thing,” John mused. “Her sister-“</p><p>“Can be left out of this conversation,” Sam replied, reappearing behind them, placing her hands on her hips. “Looks like your trio is about to become a quintet- mind if we tag along?"</p><p>Varric opened his arms wide, then let out a laugh. “Sparrow, you know you’re always part of the Kirkwall Crew,” Varric said as a mischievous grin spread across his face. “Lead the way, Squeak."</p><p>“Call me that again and I’ll string you up by your toes, Varric,” Sam growled, poking him in the chest. “I’m trying to get them to stop- don’t you guys start.”</p><p>“Duly noted,” he replied, chuckling as Sam lead their group toward the servant’s quarters.</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Lana walked up to a balcony overlooking the ballroom, waiting to catch word about this mysterious occult advisor. No one she’d encountered had heard too much of anything, and she was running out of options. Her last resort would be to go and find Vivienne, but she had the sinking suspicion that the moment the Iron Lady sensed her presence, she’d be swept up in a sea of dresses, masks, and grabby hands on the dance floor. Letting out a disdainful sniff at the mere thought of more painful interaction, she rested her hand on the railing and sighed, cupping her chin in her hands as she thought about how futile this whole endeavor was turning out to be. <em>Hopefully, the others are having more luck than I</em>, Lana thought wistfully. <em>If this effort is waiting on me to do something other than shake hands and hear whispered conversations, then I’m afraid the Empress is as good as dead. I’d much rather be fighting something right now.</em></p><p>Right when Lana was about to lose herself in her melancholy revelry, she heard the swish of skirts behind her. Straightening up and putting on her best polite face, she turned to the newcomer…</p><p>…only to be greeted by a dark-haired woman with familiar yellow eyes. </p><p>Blinking, Lana took a step back, grateful for the railing next to her. “Morrigan? Is that you?” When the woman gave her that smug look she knew so well, Lana clutched a hand to her chest. “Maker, I’ve never seen you in quite so many clothes before!”</p><p>At this, the woman laughed. “Why does it not surprise me that after all these years, my wardrobe is the first thing you comment on?” Then she looked her up and down and gave Lana a slight nod of approval. “So it appears that for once, the rumors are true….Solana Amell, the woman who stopped the blight and cheated death.”</p><p>“Oh, there was no cheating,” Lana said with a frown as she stared at the woman she'd once considered a friend. “I was quite dead for the last ten years- you leaving us at the end made that a certainty, as I’m sure you already know.”</p><p>Morrigan frowned. “You made your choice, Solana- I gave you an offer and you thrust it in my face.” Then she peered closer at Lana and placed a finger on her lips, her purple skirts rustling as she walked around her. “Though unless I’m misremembering some things, ’tis something different about you, is it not?” </p><p>Lana nodded. “Something like that, yes.” </p><p>“Ah,” Morrigan said, coming to a stop beside at her side and leaning against the rail. “But, you and I both know you were not seeking me out for idle conversation- you’re here to determine if I pose a threat to Empress Celene.”</p><p>“That was the initial goal,” Lana admitted, looking over at the other woman. “Though now, I am not so sure.”</p><p>Morrigan raised an eyebrow at her. “Never let your emotions blind you to the task in front of you, Solana- remember, a soft touch can murder you more painfully than a sharp blade."</p><p>“Are you? Here to kill the Empress, that is,” she elaborated, staring coldly at the woman at her side. “Or is the Morrigan I used to know long gone?” </p><p>“She’s changed, much as you have,” Morrigan replied. “But I assure you, at least for tonight, our goals are the same. There is definitely a threat to the Empress, but ’tis not I.” She looked over the balcony and spotted Cullen leaning against a pillar with Leliana standing next to him, and Lana wished that her friends were here with her right now. "I've seen your companions and sister running about tonight- I’m hoping your sources can find out more than I.”</p><p>“Trying to use me yet again, old friend?” Lana asked, looking Morrigan up and down. “Haven’t we outgrown these games of cat and mouse? I grow weary of playing a game I don’t know I’m taking part in.”</p><p>“Then you’ve come to the wrong place, as everyone is playing a game here,” Morrigan snapped. “It’s only a matter of whether or not you know the stakes you’re playing for.” She reached into her skirts, pulling out a key and handing it to Lana. “Here, take this… use it to find out the things they don’t want you to know.” Then the witch gave her a look that Lana could have sworn was remorse, locking her yellow eyes to her green ones. “Maybe this time, you’ll accept my help and save a life."</p>
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<a name="section0034"><h2>34. May I have this dance?</h2></a>
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            <p>Team Mage and their guests figure out what's going on at the Winter Palace.</p>
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<hr/><p>“So, what have you heard so far that might give us a leg up?” I asked, trying to avoid my cousin as much as I could while we exited the servant’s quarters and emerged in a garden. I didn’t want to outright punch Hawke anymore, but I wasn’t exactly looking to get all cozy with the man, either. “Find anything useful?”</p><p>To my dismay, Hawke chimed in. “Looks like Briala and Celeste were a lot closer than they want us to think- every single person we’ve talked to says that they used to be an item.” </p><p>“Makes sense,” I said thoughtfully, scanning the landscape. “Lana asked the Empress about Briala too… wonder what happened with those two?” </p><p>He shrugged. “It’s Orlais, Sparrow- any number of juicy happenings could’ve occurred. Or, it could’ve been something as mundane as she left the food out overnight- with this town, who knows?” </p><p>“True.” Having gotten my answers I tried to walk ahead, but Hawke gently grabbed me by the arm, forcing me to stop. “Um,” I said warily, looking at his hand and back at his face and wondering where he'd gotten the slightest impression I wanted him touching me, “Did you need something?”</p><p>“Yes,” he said softly, his eyes serious. “If you please, I need my cousin back, Samantha.” </p><p>“Back?” I gave him a confused look. “What the fuck are you talking about, Hawke? I’m right here.”</p><p>“You know damn well what I mean,” he replied as we paused to examine a locked chest. When he couldn’t get it open, I gestured for him to let me try. “I miss you, Sam. We were better in Kirkwall… you wanted me around, you talked to me, you smiled at me." He gave a simple shrug of his shoulders, looking at me with earnest. "I’ve missed that.”</p><p>“I’m trying,” I replied honestly, giving a triumphant grunt when the lock popped open, revealing a small dagger that I promptly slid under my dress. “It’s just hard… I’m already not one that’s all 'forgive and forget', and when you just left me without a word, that hurt like a motherfucker, Hawke.” I stood up, looking around and scowling at the others behind us who were deliberately allowing this conversation to take place. No doubt Cole had something to do with it, but if it was his doing I was screwed- there was no way I could stay mad at the boy. “First Lana, then you…” I shrugged, not willing to go into it any further. “I’d say you understand, but I don’t think you do.”</p><p>Hawke raised up from his stooped position, his face turned away from me. “Oh, you mean how I wouldn’t understand you thinking your own family hates you?” he asked as we continued forward. “Or do you mean like how my mom blames me to this day for Carver’s death and losing Bethany to the Circle?” He gave me a look and I squirmed a little, instantly wishing I was anywhere that wouldn't involve having this conversation right now. “ I know how it feels to think your family doesn’t love you, Sam. But that was never the case for us- I love you, you stupid girl,” Hawke said as he wrapped an arm around me and placed a kiss on my forehead. “I always have and I always will. What Anders did shouldn’t have changed that… it should never have changed us, Sam- we’re family.” </p><p>“While this is touching as fuck,” John said from behind me, making the two of us jump, “I think there's someone’s taking a permanent nap up ahead.” He pointed by the fountain, and sure enough, there was a figure lying motionless on the floor. Slowly, we approached it, only to confirm that sure enough, it was the body of a man. John nudged the corpse with his boot, then turned back to us with a look of concern. “Welp... looks like we got ourselves a murder on our hands. Question is, who the fuck was he and why did they kill him?”</p><p>“I can answer one of those questions,” Varric said as he bent over to examine a nearby sword. “I remember seeing this guy while Hero was dancing with one of the nobles earlier… this guy is an emissary for one of the Council of Heralds.” He looked him over and winced. “Well... not anymore.” </p><p>“This ain’t good,” John said. “Squeak, we better get back and tell your stabby little friend about this. No one likes dead important people lying around, especially not when there’s folks out here trying to assassinate the head honcho.” </p><p>“Agreed, but I think we got other problems,” I said quickly, pointing at the other side of the fountain. “My vision was right… the Venatori are here.”</p><p>“The vena-what?” John asked, pulling his knife from underneath his coat. “Who the fuck are they?”</p><p>“Talk later! Sparrow, get to doing your pop-in-pop out thing and go get Bianca!” Varric yelled, then whirled around to the others. "We’ve got company!”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>For what felt like the umpteenth time that evening, Lana wished Sam was with her- she needed to get into the apartments and she was itching for her staff. Alas, she’d listened to Josie and left it at their residence, which made her feel completely vulnerable as she walked outside to the gardens. As her eyes scanned the crowd, she suddenly let out a sigh of relief, rushing over to see Grace and Dorian cattily talking about the nobles that moved past. </p><p>Lana looked over at her sister and her friend, chuckling as Grace laughed at something Dorian said but she couldn’t hear. Feeling amused despite the dreary situation, she gestured to the two as they continued to snicker amongst themselves. “Enjoying your evening, I take it?”</p><p>“This man is everything,” Grace answered, resting her head on Dorian’s shoulder. “If you aren’t careful, I’ll be taking him home with me.”</p><p>“In your besotted dreams,” Dorian replied, poking Grace in the side. “From the tales I hear of your world, I’d rather bed down with that wretched Quinari before subjecting myself to those tortures.” Lana's eyes opened wide and she started to say something, but Dorian quickly cut her off. “At any rate,” he said in a rush and glaring at her, “what brings you out here with the dregs of the Inquisition? Shouldn’t you be hobnobbing with the nobility, my dear?”</p><p>“My dear Dorian, first of all, you are never the dregs, and second, if I see one more blasted noble, I’m likely to smite someone,” Lana grumbled. “At any rate, we have some uninvited guests that I need to be investigating, but I can’t find Sam- do you guys mind helping me?” </p><p>“<em>YES</em>,” Grace hissed, looking up at the sky. “Finally, something to do!” She turned to Dorian, who was chuckling at her outburst. “You staying here?”</p><p>“And miss the chance to see you in action? Perish the thought,” he replied, taking Grace’s arm in his and making Lana snicker. “And though I think your wit is as sharp as a rapier, Grace, I'm afraid that you don’t have a weapon- having a little more magic on your side might prove useful.”</p><p>“Speak for yourself,” Grace said with a laugh, surreptitiously lifting her skirt and flashing them the knife strapped to her thigh. “John and I don’t leave home without at least a knife- it’s a habit at this point.” When she lowered her skirt, she looked over at Lana and Dorian, who were both staring at her with expressions of shock and bemusement. “Oh, so I’m the only prepared one in this party? Good to know.” She gestured to Lana, who turned to lead her new team toward the apartments. “Let’s make this quick, sis- I think they’re gonna notice if you’re gone too long, and these people already look like they just want a reason to throw us out of here.” </p><p>“Duly noted,” Lana replied as they crept off. “It’s about bloody time I had something to do besides smile and look pretty.” She took the key out of her pocket and was about to slide it into the lock when she noticed it was already slightly open. “That’s odd,” she muttered. “This door was supposed to be locked.”</p><p>Grace raised an eyebrow. “You sure you weren’t sent into a trap, sis?” She looked around and started to say something else, but then cut herself off and she held up a hand. “Wait… do you guys hear that?”</p><p>“Hear what?” Dorian asked, pausing as he scanned the entrance. “I don’t hear-“ </p><p>Suddenly, they heard the sounds of metal on metal, followed by the sound of arrows sailing through the air. “I hear it!” Lana said. “That sounds like-“</p><p>“Sam, get back!” A voice yelled out, followed by a crash and a wet slurping sound. Immediately, the three of them looked at each other in shock, then raced toward the sounds of fighting. Sure enough, John, Hawke, Cole, Varric, and Sam were taking on a group of Venatori in the garden. Hawke was standing in front of Sam with his daggers extended, while John and Cole were taking on two other agents. Varric was sniping from behind the fountain, and with another shot from Bianca, the last agent went down in front of them. </p><p>“Lana!” Sam cried, racing over to hug her sister. “What the fuck are you doing out here?”</p><p>“A better question might be ‘why are you guys fighting Venatori out here?’” Lana looked around the gardens at the chaos that had ensued, then frowned at the disheveled state of Sam’s dress. “Are you all right, Sam?”</p><p>“Yeah, that fucker tried to stab me, but I froze him and Hawke skewered him like a piece of meat. Works out great, they only bleed when we’re far enough away and I restart time, so we won’t go back in looking like we partied with Hannibal Lecter.” She looked over at Grace and grinned. “Welcome to Thedas, Grace.”</p><p>“I wish I could say I was surprised,” Grace replied as she looked over at John, who was helping Cole up. “Also not surprised to see my husband in the middle of this, either.” She then jerked her thumb at Lana. “Lana Banana found a key to the apartments, but the door was open- did you guys do that?”</p><p>Varric shook his head. “We were about to head there next- looks like someone murdered one of the emissaries from the Council of Heralds. Had a Chalons weapon nearby, seems suspicious. We were about to go tell Leli about it when these guys showed up to the party.” </p><p>Lana sighed. “Well, someone needs to let her and Cullen know we have Venatori prowling about the place.” She looked over at everyone, then turned to Sam. “John, Dorian, and Varric can you go tell the two of them what is going on here? The rest of us will split up and search inside the apartments- if someone is waiting for us in there, I want to be prepared.”</p><p>John frowned. “Sis, you sure you want us leaving you? You and Squeak don’t have any weapons-“</p><p>At that, everyone except Grace let out a peal of uproarious laugher. Confused, Grace looked at Dorian. “What’s so funny?”</p><p>Dorian wiped his eyes, trying to regain his composure. “Grace, your sisters have some of the most powerful magic I’ve ever seen- when they get together, they can obliterate small armies. I daresay you should be more worried about them leveling the palace than not being strong enough to handle something.”</p><p>“Oh,” Grace replied with an amused expression. “Good to know.” Then she turned to Sam and laughed. “Leave it to you to find the one person that you literally become a bomb with, Squeak.” When her sister shrugged, she just smiled. “Well, as long as they’re on our side, I’m good with it. C’mon- we better hurry. We’ve been out here too long as it is, guys.” She walked over to John, then placed a kiss on his cheek. “Keep my new friends safe, hon?” </p><p>“Always, Sunshine,” John replied as he hurried after the two men, leaving the others to begin their search of the apartments.</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“Well, fuck,” Grace said as she surveyed the remains of the Venatori in the dining room. “Dorian wasn’t lying, was he?”</p><p>“Nope,” I said as I reached in my pocket and pulled out a Jolly Rancher, offering one to her. She slowly took it, looking at me like I had lost my mind, while Lana reached in my pocket and pulled out two more of the candies for herself and Hawke. “What?” I said as I unwrapped the blue-colored candy. “Doing that takes a lot out of me- candy helps.”</p><p>“So does the ring of mom's and this horrible glowing fissure jutting out from my hand,” Lana replied with a smirk. “While I’m glad we were easily able to dispatch these vermin, I’m growing more concerned by the minute- this is a bit too reminiscent of that dark future we encountered, Sam.”</p><p>“No arguments here,” I replied, looking around and pausing at the door with the strange carvings. “That’s odd,” I wondered aloud. “I haven’t seen anything like that before.”</p><p>“I can help,” Cole answered, looking over at Hawke. My cousin nodded at the strange boy, then pulled out three statues from his satchel. “They are the key.”</p><p>Confused, I stared at him, but Hawke interjected. “We’ve been finding these weird things all night. Cole told me it was important to keep them, so I did- it turns out they open these types of doors. Why these things have to be so complicated, I have no blasted clue. ” He looked at the markings again and scoffed as he handed Cole the statues. “Bloody Orlesians.” </p><p>“Well in my experience, if the door is that fucking hard to open, there’s usually something important inside,” Grace said, heading over to the door with Cole. “And in this place, I’m trying to have every scrap of information I can find at my disposal, so let's crack that open, huh?” Nodding, Cole obliged, and Grace hugged him as the door began to open. "Thanks, Cole.”</p><p>The boy blushed at the sudden contact, then gave Grace a wide smile. “I like helping,” he said seriously. Then he got a faraway look on his face as he stepped into the room. “She leaves but stays in her heart, betrayed but can’t throw the memories away. Wants to keep it but can’t wear it, she likes to keep it close.” He pointed over to a chest in the corner of the dimly lit room. “It was a gift… she doesn’t know she has it.” </p><p>“What doesn’t she know?” Hawke asked curiously, going to the chest and opening it. Suddenly, his eyes grew wide. “My word,” he breathed. “It's the locket.” </p><p>“What locket?” I asked, looking at Hawke and Cole with confusion. “I think I missed something, guys.” </p><p>“This was Briala’s,” Hawke replied, fingering the chain lightly before dropping it in his bag. “She gave it to the empress- we heard a little about it earlier from some very pretty women that were hanging around Celene.” </p><p>“I’m willing to give your right nut that Leli would practically fall over herself if we bring her something that juicy,” I said thoughtfully as we started walking back to the ballroom. “But as much as I like it better out here, we should all get back before some noble asshole complains- wouldn't want anyone having a fit about Lana not falling over herself to dance with them tonight.”</p><p>“Really, we don’t have to rush on my account,” Lana grumbled, lifting her skirts as we made our way down the corridor. “Sam, you wouldn’t happen to have any way that we could just pretend to be each other for the night, do you?”</p><p>“Nope, fresh out of weird magic fortune cookies, plus I think Disney would sue us if we tried to remake one of their movies,” I teased. “Even in Thedas, copyright laws are no punk.” </p><p>Lana frowned but Grace let out a laugh, shaking her head at me. “Damn, do you know how much I’ve <em>missed</em> having someone get our goddamn jokes, Squeak? You’d think I was talking French half the time at home- I’m pretty sure John is just smiling and nodding at me by this point.”</p><p>“Only pretty sure? I know for a fact that everyone except for Lana Banana thinks I’ve got a screw loose. At this point, I just embrace it- it keeps them on their toes.” I pushed open the door, turning to wink at Lana. “She gets it, though I’m sure she just plays dumb to make me look-“</p><p>“Squeak, look out!” Grace yelled, shoving me to the ground as a Venatori flung a bolt of lightning at my head. Reeling from the impact, I looked around the room and my eyes widened when I saw someone dressed as a Harlequin brandishing some wicked-looking weapons alongside a large fucking group of Venatori. Quck as a flash, Grace rolled off and stood in front of me while Cole and Hawke prepared their daggers. “Lana, whatcha got for this!” She flipped up her dress, pulling out an extremely large knife and brandishing it menacingly. “They don’t look like they’re here to play, guys!” </p><p>“Sam!” Lana yelled. “To me!” </p><p>In an instant, I had transported myself next to Lana, grabbing her hand and feeling that searing pain as her magic connected and she sent out a large pulse of lightning, destroying every enemy in sight.  Dropping her hand, I wheezed and stumbled, looking surprised as Hawke caught me. “Thanks,” I mumbled, trying to steady myself. “You didn’t have to do that, you know.”</p><p>“And you don’t have to keep talking, but there you go and here we are,” he teased, bopping me gently on the nose as he made sure I was okay. “Do you truly think I’d let my baby cousin fall flat on the floor after she helped save us all?” </p><p>I was about to offer a retort, but just as I opened my mouth there was a noise from the other side of the room. Immediately everyone tensed up, only to see Briala emerge from behind a pillar. “I’d heard the rumors, but to see the Inquisitor and the Savior in battle…” She gave the two of us an approving nod. “I was here to find information on the murders of my agents, but it seems your people may well know more than I.” </p><p>Instantly, Lana’s Inquisitor mask was on her face, making her emotions unreadable. “Ambassador Briala,” she said casually, treating us as if we hadn’t just been in a battle for our lives. “Are you responsible for this?”</p><p>“After discovering the body of the emissary in the courtyard, I was going to ask you a similar question,” Briala replied, her voice giving nothing away. "However, I don’t think that’s quite necessary.” She looked at Lana cooly, her arms crossed. “Do you have any clues?”</p><p>“We found a blade nearby with the Chalons crest on it,” Hawke said, standing in front of Lana and looking very imposing. “Any idea why?”</p><p>Briala just looked at us. “Gaspard is most certainly behind his murder- I’ve been told that he’s been smuggling in chevaliers tonight.”</p><p>“Just like you’re smuggling in spies,” Lana replied evenly. “Would adding Venatori to the agenda be so far-fetched?”</p><p>Briala shook her head. “Gaspard is many things, but I cannot fathom him aligning with the Venatori- I’m afraid there must be something else at play, Inquisitor.” </p><p>She started to turn away, but Grace stopped her. “Ambassador… I believe we did find something tonight. “ She looked at Hawke and he nodded, reaching in his bag and holding up the locket. “Would this be yours?” </p><p>For the first time, Briala’s face showed an emotion- surprise. “She kept it,” she whispered. “After all these years, I cannot believe she still has it.” </p><p>“It was in a vault,” Grace said softly. “And it was well protected, I might add- it looks as if it’s important to her.” She stared at the elven ambassador with a gentle smile. “Briala, is there anything you else you can tell us about what’s going on around here?” </p><p>The ambassador shook her head. “At this point in time, I’m afraid not. However, I think you will be involved in the discussions here tonight, Inquisitor- perhaps you can be persuaded to keep the elven people in mind when the rest of Orlais tries to banish us to the shadows.” She turned to look at me, and the ghost of a smile played across her lips. “My advisor seems to think that your sister is one we can trust.”</p><p>“Your advisor?” I paused for a moment, then looked at Briala. The elf was watching my expression with well-concealed earnest, and a smile played across her lips when my eyes widened with understanding. “Wait… do you mean Cirrelle?"</p><p>She nodded. “My network is… extensive, Inquisitor. I hope we are able to assist each other in the days to come.” Just then a bell rang, and we all looked at each other, confused. Briala, however, just gestured to the door. “It appears it is time for the festivities to resume- I think you should get back, Inquisitor.”</p><p>Not willing to stay in the apartments any longer, the five of us made our way back to the ballroom, trying to make sense of the events that had transpired that evening. </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>No sooner than they had returned to the ballroom, Lana felt a hand on her arm. Biting back the urge to tell the offender how she actually felt, she gritted her teeth. “Yes?” she responded, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice. "May I help you?"</p><p>“Dance with me,” the voice purred. “We have much to discuss, but the eyes of the court are upon you tonight, Inquisitor.”  </p><p>Lana looked over and saw a beautiful woman extending a slender hand in her direction. <em>Sam</em>, Lana thought.<em> This is Gaspard’s sister- can you stay nearby? Judging by what Gaspard is up to, I’m not confident that this is an innocent encounter.</em></p><p><em>Hawke and I will be nearby,</em> Sam promised as Lana let Florianne lead her to the dance floor. <em>I’ll also tell Cole to listen in. Can you get me close enough to touch her? Maybe I can catch her decisions, see what she wants with you? </em></p><p><em>That I can,</em> Lana replied as she smiled at the woman, giving half-answers just as Leliana had taught her to do. She could tell that she was infuriating the woman, but there was nothing she could do- short of making a scene, all Florianne could do was smile and nod. On a particular twirl, Lana made sure to twirl Florianne right to Sam, allowing their hands to briefly touch during the appropriate portion of the dance. But before she could catch Sam’s eye they had to rotate again, and the woman trailed a finger lightly along her arm as the song ended. </p><p>“You may want to check the royal wing,” she whispered in her ear as the song ended. “I believe you may find what you seek in the gardens.” Lana started to say something, but she quickly interrupted her. “Ah, it appears our song is over,” Florianne remarked in a normal voice as she curtseyed. "It’s been a pleasure, Inquisitor.” </p><p>Lana nodded, then scanned the room for Sam. Before she could even lay eyes on the girl, the room went completely still and she felt a tug on her arm. “We need Leli… now,” Sam whispered. “I’m so sorry for the freaky time shit, but we got a lot to talk about, sis- let’s go round up the crew.” </p><p>As she looked around the room, Lana felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end- no matter how many times she did it, Lana still wasn’t used to her the way her sister paused time. Quickly, she began leading Lana around the ballroom plucking the frozen friends they could find from stasis and guiding them all to the nook where Leliana and Cullen had been talking.</p><p>“Look, we got about thirty minutes at a pop before everyone feels like I just smashed their brains against a rock, so we better get to this, fast,” Sam said as she stared at everyone they could gather. “Right now we got about 99 problems… and that bitch is number one.”</p><p>John scowled. "We better get to it- trust me, she’s not lying about that headache," he said quickly. “What’s going on, Squeak? This got anything to do with those venison people we fought earlier?"</p><p>“Venatori,” Leliana corrected him before looking at me. “And who are you referring to, Samantha?”</p><p>“Florianne,” Lana interjected. “She just sought me out for a dance, then suggested that I investigate the royal wing.” She turned to Sam with a frown. “What did you see when you touched her, Sam?” </p><p>“Long story short, that bitch is cray- she’s trying to set Lana up,” Sam spat, looking at the other advisors. “She’s the one who invited the Venatori to the party.” </p><p>Lana frowned- she knew Sam’s speech got worse the more upset she was. “What did you see?” </p><p>“She’s decided to kill you,” she said quickly. “I could hear it, loud and clear- she’s going to try to have the Venatori kill you while she assassinates the Empress.” Sam scowled. “For fuck's sake, can we just have <em>one</em> fucking day where people aren’t trying to kill us?”</p><p>“But then we wouldn’t be in Orlais,” Ali quipped, causing Sam to punch him lightly in the arm. “Seriously, Sparrow- what in the world have you all been up to tonight? All I’ve been doing is sitting here avoiding people pinching my rear and eating fancy cheeses- you guys get to have all the fun.” </p><p>“You need better definitions of fun,” Cullen growled, ignoring the warden as he stuck his tongue out at him. “So, now what do we do? We cannot have Lana go off to a trap-“</p><p>“Actually... we have to go,” Sam said wearily. “There’s a rift there.” Cullen groaned and Lana rolled her eyes, but her sister continued. “Like I said, 99 problems, man.” </p><p>Throughout all of this, Grace had looked thoughtful. Now, she smiled at them all and reached in her pocket, pulling out her phone. “Sis, you got magic, right?” Before Lana could give her a withering look, she continued her thought. “Is there any way you can make something really fucking loud, like loud enough where everyone in the room can hear it?”</p><p>“I suppose,” Lana said, unsure as to what Grace was getting at. “What would you need me to amplify, Grace?” </p><p>Her green eyes sparkled as she looked at the other advisors. “Well, I’m thinking the three of us go down there-“</p><p>“Like hell you will, Sunshine,” John spat, cutting her off. “There’s no fucking way we’re letting you guys go out there alone when we know for a goddamn <em>fact</em> that the crazy lady wants the weirdo soldiers to kill your sister!”</p><p>“I’m with John,” Cullen replied, crossing his arms. “If there is to be a battle, we should be at your side.” </p><p>Grace tapped her cheek with a finger as she stared up at the ceiling for a moment, then leveled a look at her brother-in-law- though she was half his size, she didn't look intimidated by Cullen in the slightest. “Yeah, I’mma go with no on this one,” she said with a smirk. “We need her to think we’re helpless- three innocent girls with nary a big strong man around. We need her to think she’s <em>won</em>,” she said, staring directly at Sam. “Because what do bad guys do when they think they’ve won, Squeak?”</p><p>Sam’s eyes grew wide, then a big grin stretched across her face. “They <em>monologue</em>,” she breathed as she looked at Grace’s phone. “I fucking love you, GraceFace… “ Then she paused, looking at everyone else. “But how do we make sure she doesn’t try to -“ she dragged a finger across her throat- “the empress in the meantime?” </p><p>Grace looked around and gestured to Hawke, Ali, Cullen, and John. “We got the Champion of Kirkwall, a Grey Warden, the Commander of the Inquisition, and a dashing soldier at our beck and call.” She smiled at the men and Lana felt herself laughing despite the situation. “Surely the four of you guys can keep her dancing and out of trouble until we get back.”</p><p>Leliana’s eyes went wide with delight. “That… is a very sound plan, Grace. One I am remiss to think I might not have thought of so quickly.” She nodded at Lana before turning to the men. “I’d say we have a sound plan for the interim… but what of after? How should we use this confession to deal with Florianne?”</p><p>“Obviously, she's expecting a fight,” Grace said thoughtfully, “But... I was thinking Lana could use that amplification spell and let everyone hear that bitch spout off her own crimes right then and there.” Grace looked at Lana with a shrug. “They already know Lana's a damn powerful mage- may as well use that shit to our advantage, right?" Grace looked at everyone, then shrugged. "Plus, everyone here loves the Inquisitor, so who are they gonna believe- the one who’s trying to kill the empress, or the one they can see trying to save her?  Besides, we got Briala on our side already- I’m sure she’ll back us up.”</p><p>“Holy shit,” Sam said incredulously as she stared at their sister. “Have you gotten into John’s stash of brain candy or something? I didn’t know your mind even worked this fast, GraceFace!” </p><p>“Who’s my dad, Squeak?” Grace said with a smirk. “C’mon, are you really that fucking surprised?” Then she turned to Lana and Leliana. “Am I missing anything?” </p><p>Leliana shook her head, a devilish grin spreading across her face. “The only thing I think we may also wish to do is send Varric, Dorian, and Cole to further explore the royal apartments- there may yet be more things to uncover, and any additional information we can uncover will only serve to enhance our stance tonight.” </p><p>“Gotcha,” Varric replied as he looked over at Cole. “You ready to help, kid?” Cole nodded, then Varric looked over at Dorian. “You think you can pry yourself away from Sparrow and Cheesy long enough to kick some ass with us, Sparkler?” </p><p>“I’m not even going to dignify that with a response,” Dorian said. “I’ll just pretend you didn’t say anything and hope that I don’t need to save you on this hellish endeavor.”</p><p>“Then that’s settled,” Cullen said firmly, looking over at Sam. Though she couldn’t hear it, Lana could tell that he was telling her to be careful. “We’ll see you all back in the ballroom."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Cullen was anxiously scanning the room, waiting for Florianne to return. Though he knew that Grace and Sam had a solid plan, it didn’t alleviate the worry that he’d sent his wife and sisters to face off against what was quite obviously a trap. He wished he could have been out there with them and he sighed, feeling very helpless at the moment. </p><p>Before he could get lost in his thoughts, the warden moved to his side. “It’s Lana, Rutherford,” Alistair whispered in his ear. “If there’s anyone I trust to keep her sisters safe, it’s her.” Then he paused and chuckled. “It's strange- with those three, you’d think they’d all grown up together fighting over toys in the crib." He shook his head.  "I’ve never seen sisters so close.”</p><p>“It <em>is</em> a wonder,” Cullen replied, closing his eyes for a moment to center himself. “Though it pains me to admit it, you are right, Alistair- Grace is a capable rogue, and Lana and Sam are more than capable of winning a battle they know is approaching.” He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “It’s just... difficult to know that danger is approaching and not being able to do a blasted thing about it.” </p><p>“We’re doing our part here,” John said quietly, creeping up next to them and folding his hands behind his back. “Gotta admit, it’s kinda wild to be on a mission to save the world with my in-laws,” he said with a chuckle. “Though I can’t say I’m all that surprised, considering the family- it’s like trouble is wound around their DNA or somethin'.” </p><p>“What’s DNA?” Ali asked, staring at him curiously. John laughed and started to answer, but before he could start, the warden’s head suddenly snapped up. “Oh no, here she comes,” he whispered, staring at Florianne as she strode into the ballroom. “Should one of us approach her, wait for her to come up, or-“</p><p>“Y’all are a mess,” John said, shaking his head. “Just sit tight and keep an eye out for our girls- Hawke and I got this. I swear, how you two managed to charm those two is beyond me,” he said with a laugh as he started to walk away.</p><p>“We were both young and ruggedly handsome!” Ali called out, making Cullen groan as John waved back at them. Then Ali turned to the commander and adjusted his collar. “Looks like it won’t be long now,” he said in a low voice. “You think they'll use the bomb-dot-com?”</p><p>Cullen started to answer, but at that moment, the night sky shone with a bright white light, followed by a sickening green one. “I’d say that’s a pretty safe bet,” he said seriously. “Come- if we noticed this, Florianne certainly will have come to a similar conclusion.”</p><p>Alistair nodded and they made their way toward the would-be assassin. However, Cullen needn’t have worried about her trying to run- without a soul noticing, John had positioned a blade right at her ribs as he held her close, making it impossible for her to escape from him. “Saw the flash and figured they might be involved,” he said with an even tone. Once again, Cullen began to wonder just what <em>exactly</em> a mayor did in his world, but decided not to question it. </p><p>Soon, he felt a prickle in his head. <em>We’re coming in,</em> Sam said. <em>But before you guys freak out, just know we’re all okay, I promise</em>. </p><p><em>Sam, what do you</em>- before he could finish the thought, the doors to the ballroom blew open with a bang, revealing a very disheveled Lana, Grace, and Sam. Their dresses were torn, and their hair was in a state of disarray, but he could see a fire blazing in Lana’s eyes from across the room. His mouth dropped, and he had to put a hand on John’s shoulder to stop him from skewering the woman right then and there. “Don’t,” Cullen whispered. “Not yet.” </p><p>“Celene!” Lana yelled, staring up at the empress. “Your life is in danger!” She glanced over at Florianne, pointing angrily. “Florianne de Chalons has tried to murder us… and assassinate you!"</p><p>There was a gasp in the ballroom, and Florianne began to squawk indignantly. “I’ve done no such thing! I’ve been here dancing!"</p><p>“I just need a reason,” John hissed, his hand on the knife and pressing it into her side, causing her to gasp. “Just <em>one</em> goddamn reason…” </p><p>“Patience, brother- let them handle it,” Ali said, carefully placing his hand over the knife. “Grace has a plan, remember?”</p><p>As if on cue, Lana raised her hands in the air and a pulse of green light flashed from the mark as Florianne’s voice began playing across the ballroom, causing everyone to gasp. “Why are you doing this?” Lana was heard saying. “Why would you ally with the Venatori, Florianne? Is ruling Orlais that important to you?”</p><p>The woman could be heard scoffing. “Orlais? Orlais is <em>nothing!</em>” Cullen watched with a bit of joy as Florianne grew paler by the second, squirming against John's firm hold. “Corypheus will give me all of Thedas to rule once I’ve destroyed the Inquisition and Celene!” Then her laugh rang out across the walls, causing every person in the room to look at her with shock. “Venatori! Finish the job and be rewarded by the Elder One in my new world while I remove this footnote on his path to ascension!” </p><p>“Footnote, huh?” John said, clucking his tongue. “That’s rough… wonder how the empress is gonna take that?” Then the three men looked up and saw the empress, her delicate face a thundercloud of rage as her soldiers descended upon the dance floor. “Guess she’s got a slight problem with it,” he remarked as they clamped the woman in irons and dragged her away, screaming bloody murder- John just shrugged, reaching in his pocket and pulling out what looked like a mint. “Go figure.”</p><p>“Inquisitor,” Celene said loudly, her tone barely calm, “this woman has threatened our lives, not to mention the whole of Orlais. As she has wronged you and you have saved my life, I ask you- what shall we do with her?”</p><p>Cullen could tell that Lana was conversing with Sam, and he wondered what was going on in her head. “Detain her,” Lana said after a moment, sending up a gasp of surprise throughout the room. “There are many here that have worked with me to stop these machinations tonight.” At that moment, Cullen saw Morrigan step out from the shadows and his eyes went wide- he was sure the warden behind him was having a fit, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away from the situation in front of them. "Let there be no bloodshed on an evening that was supposed to conclude with talks of peace.” She turned to Celene and bowed, her ragged dress hanging from her shoulders. “I apologize for the outbursts, Empress.”</p><p>“Of that, there is no need,” Celene said, her tone returning to one much more even and calm. “For your service, Orlais owes the Inquisition a debt… as do I.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Lana was sitting on the balcony, trying to catch her breath. She’d changed into another dress and washed her face, but she still felt like all eyes were on her and waiting for her to say or do anything- she’d never felt like she was under so much scrutiny in her life. Resting her head against the railing and closing her eyes, she gasped when she felt a hand on the small of her back- when she realized it was Alistair, she immediately relaxed. "Careful," Lana chided as she turned to look at him. “You almost got a bolt of lightning in your ass for that move, love,”</p><p>“To see you out here and looking like this? It would’ve been worth it.” He kissed her on the side of her neck and she blushed, leaning into him as the breeze gently blew. “Besides, I figured Sparrow told you I was coming.”</p><p>She shook her head. “Her and Cullen raced back to the estate like their knickers were on fire- I suppose it has something to do with whatever she told him earlier.” Then Lana sighed, looking out over the gardens. “Can’t say I particularly blame them for it, though.” </p><p>“Ah,” Ali replied, leaning against the rail. “So, is Orlais safe? Did you save the day again, my love?” </p><p>Lana chuckled, moving a curl out of her face. “For a time, I suppose. Celene and Briala have reconciled, so there is that, at least. Gaspard has been exiled- turns out Hawke and company got more evidence of those chevaliers he was smuggling inside in an effort to overthrow Celene. At any rate, we now have the tenuous loyalty of both Briala and Celene, so Leliana and Josie are happier than a pile of nugs right now.”</p><p>“And you?” Alistair asked, trailing a finger along her cheek. “How are you feeling right now?” </p><p>She gazed up at him gratefully. “Do you realize that other than my sisters, you are the first person that’s asked me that?” </p><p>“Do you realize that you finally said ‘your sisters’?” Ali teased, taking her chin and tilting it up to place a soft kiss on her lips. “All that worrying was for naught- you three came together tonight as if you’ve been with each other your entire lives.” He smiled at her and pulled her close to him. “I’m proud of you, Lana.”</p><p>“For what? All I did this evening was dance, smile, and nod- everyone else did the hard parts,” she said irritably. “I fear I’ve shifted the burden onto everyone else tonight.” </p><p>“Quite the opposite,” he replied, running his hands along her back. “You led, darling. You trusted your team and let them do what needed to be done- I seem to remember a beautiful young woman that would have been twisting herself into knots at the mere thought of letting others take on a single task she even thought was hers.” </p><p>Lana laughed, resting her head on his shoulder. “Have I truly changed all that much?”</p><p>“In all the right ways,” he said, placing his arm around her waist. “You’re confident now and able to make the hard decisions. I suppose it makes sense- once you decide to die by destroying an old God, everything else must seem positively mundane in comparison."</p><p>“Well, I have a very, very, good team,” she replied, gazing up at him. “Team Mage seems to have some truly phenomenal members in its ranks.” </p><p>“That we do.” Alistair chuckled, then his face darkened slightly. “Speaking of that, shall we talk about the yellow-eyed demon that reared it’s ugly head this evening?” </p><p>“I assume you’re referring to Morrigan,” Lana asked, watching as her beloved tried and failed to not roll his eyes. “She <em>did</em> help tonight,” Lana chided gently, poking him in the ribs. “And you’ll never believe what happened.” Ali looked at her and raised an eyebrow as Lana burst into laughter. “Celene drafted her into the service of the Inquisition. It’s almost as if she’s destined to be pawned into my service, whether she wants to be or not- at this point, it’s almost comical.”</p><p>“Oh yes, the very bane of both mine and Rutherford’s existence, living right under my nose and whispering in the ear of my soon-to-be wife… hilarious,” Alistair said dryly. Lana just chuckled again, then laughed out loud as he began to pout. “And here I thought we’d gotten rid of her- you’re not going to let her try to perform any dark rituals on me, are you?”</p><p>“Never,” Lana said, wrapping her arms around him. “You are mine, Alistair Theirin, and the whole of Thedas should know it.” She leaned her head into his chest, then let out a soft snort. “I also find it funny that Vivienne made us take all those lessons, yet you and I never danced together a single time the entire night.”</p><p>“Well, that won’t do,” Ali said, his eyes twinkling in the starlight. “We should remedy that, post-haste.” </p><p>“Oh no,” Lana replied quickly. “I’m not stepping a foot back inside there until it’s time for me to leave. In fact, I’m considering jumping from this balcony- I’ve spent a great deal of time contemplating my odds of survival if I leaped from here.” </p><p>“Then… let’s not do that,” Alistair said with a laugh, wrapping an arm around her waist and taking her hand in his. “Let’s dance out here instead.” </p><p>“Here?” Lana said, looking around and laughing. “On the balcony?”</p><p>“Why not?” Alistair replied as they started to sway in time to the faint stirrings of music coming from the hall. “I don’t need fancy people, music, or clothes, love.” Lana opened her mouth to protest, but he placed a finger on her lips before resting his head atop hers, placing a soft kiss on her now unruly curls. “To me, none of that matters- all I need is you, Solana Amell… wherever you are is perfect for me.” </p><p>And so, underneath a starry sky, Lana ignored all the pomp going on around her and rested her head on Alistair’s shoulder, content to simply relax and share a simple dance with the man she loved with all her heart. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>For those in the states, happy Memorial Day! </p><p>I can't believe that we're in the back half of this adventure- I'm working on chapter 43(!) right now- only 12 more to go after that! *cries*</p><p>Thank you, so, so much for sticking with this twisty ride with our awesome Team Mage and I hope you're enjoying their honorary members during this story arc!</p>
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<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Family Reunions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Everyone comes back to Skyhold</p>
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<hr/><p>“Well, I haven’t had a night like that in…” Grace put a finger to her lips, pretending to think about it, “… a really long fucking time.” She smiled at the little boy who’d curled up in her lap and stroked his hair. “Kinda glad you two got yourselves into massive amounts of trouble, kiddo.” </p><p> “We didn’t mean to, Mom,” Shaun said sleepily, hugging her waist. “It was Jenny’s fault, honest.” He lazily pointed to the girl who was sucking her thumb in Lana’s lap and staring intently at her dad. “I promise, we weren’t trying to run off- it just happened.”</p><p>“No harm done,” Cullen said from his perch on the floor. “I’m very happy to have had the chance to spend some time with you, nephew.” He looked over at Ali, who was stretched out on the floor and holding his stomach. “And you and your sister have made your aunt and uncle over here very happy as well.”</p><p>“Agreed,” Ali said, his eyes still closed. “If I’m not dead in the morning, I will be ecstatic to return home.” Then he turned to Shaun and raised an eyebrow. “So, are you two riding back in the carriage with us or latching onto your mom and dad?” He looked at Lana and shrugged. “Eight people in a carriage is a bit much, I’m afraid.” </p><p>John and Grace exchanged looks. “Well,” John said slowly, “how much time does it take to get back? We don’t have that much more time here, Squeak.”</p><p>Sam, who was resting against Cullen, frowned, while Lana quickly felt her face do the same- this couldn’t be the only time they’d get to spend with their sister. Hoping to avoid an incident, Lana quickly looked over at Grace. “It takes about four days to return- surely you can make the journey back with us?” She glanced at Sam, who was giving her sister a pleading look. “We’d very much like you to return to our home- I’d like to spend some time with you both outside this dreadful affair.” </p><p>“Yeah, I’m pretty interested to see what John can do with a proper sword,” Ali said with a smirk. “There’s no one to charm out on the battlefield, unless he’s got some weird power I don’t know about.” Then he opened his eyes and turned to Sam. “He doesn’t, right?” </p><p>“Nope,” Sam replied with a laugh, reaching over to chuck Jenny on the chin. “Nothing that would apply out here, anyway.” Then she turned to her nephew with a grin. “Your mom is quite the strategist, kiddo- what have you guys been up to while I’ve been gone?” </p><p>“‘Course she is,” Shaun said proudly. “She’s super smart… like me.” </p><p>“Oh, the kid is humble too,” Hawke replied from his seat by the fire. “Looks like there’s a little Amell in you yet, dear cousin,” he teased as he got up to ruffle the boy’s hair. “I must admit, it is strange to go from practically no family to a room full of it in the span of an evening. I only wish Bethany were here to see it.”</p><p>“Jeez, it’s not like they're dead, Hawke,” Sam said with exasperation, throwing a bit of her trail mix at him. “It’s not like this is the last time we’ll see each other- we'll all get together again one day.” </p><p>Hawke grabbed the projectile and popped it in his mouth, stretching out on the floor and putting his head in her lap. “So you do still adore me? Good to know.” Before Sam could react, he’d leaned up and gave her a kiss on the cheek, causing her to splutter and Cullen to glower, pushing him gently out of her lap. “Curly, I’ll have you know that hurt,” he said with a mock pout. “But seeing the look on her face was worth it.” </p><p>Sam started to say something, but Lana cut her off before the situation could escalate. “I’m inclined to agree with Hawke- until I met Sam, I had no one. Now, I have more family and friends than I could ever dream of…” She looked at Hawke and smiled. “It’s also nice to know that not everyone in my bloodline hates me.”</p><p>“I could never,” Hawke admitted. “We’re much too handsome.” Then he looked at John and Jenny, then squinted. “Are you sure you aren’t related to us? I hear that you looked very similar to our dear Lana, and your daughter is the spitting image of her.” He glared at the chubby little girl in Lana’s arms, who squealed with delight and reached out, grabbing a fistful of his hair. “And she’s such a delight, Grace… really.” </p><p>“Would be pretty fucking awkward if I was, all things considered,” John said with a laugh as he got up and unwound the tiny girl from Hawke’s hair. Lana scowled as John took her away, crossing her arms and glaring at the man, who just chuckled. “Sis, you’re being fooled- trust me, this one ain’t all that sweet. She’s just lullin’ you into a false sense of security… ain’t that right, doll?” </p><p>In response, Jenny just babbled as she buried her head into John’s shirt- Cullen just laughed. “Somehow, I don’t think Lana cares.” Then he paused, resting his head on his chin. “Do you have any other family, John?”</p><p>“Nah, besides my other daughter, I’m in the same boat as Lana,” he replied. “Got a helluva family now, thanks to Sunshine. These two girls collect people like trading cards- must be a thing with them.” He looked at Grace with adoration in his eyes. “Wouldn’t change it for the world, though.”</p><p>“Same,” Lana replied as she looked over at her brother-in-law. Right then, she knew he understood better than most what she’d been through, and she vowed to have a conversation with the man, if he was willing. “But on the brighter side, this family saved Orlais- not bad for our first night out together, right?”</p><p>“Well that sucks,” Grace said mischievously. “If that’s the fucking bar, then what the hell are we gonna do for the next family reunion, save the world or something? Do I need to bake a cake or some shit for this?” </p><p>“We’d all prefer if you didn’t,” John said gently, grinning as Grace hit him in the shoulder. “No one needs to die like that, Sunshine.” </p><p>Immediately Ali perked up, looking at Grace with absolute joy. “So you’re shit at cooking too? Thank the maker, I was scared you were perfect,” he said with relief, making Lana laugh as she grabbed Jenny from John again. “I don’t know, Sparrow,” he teased, giving Sam an evil grin. “Grace might now be my favorite sister… just saying.”</p><p>“Remember that when you can eat again,” Sam said, lobbing a cushion at his head. “Cause you know I hold grudges, you bastard.”</p><p>“That she does,” Hawke agreed, getting a genuine smile from Sam. “So if I were you, I’d apologize if you ever want to see your precious cheese again."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“Mom! Dad! You gotta come see all this stuff” Shaun said, practically leaping from the carriage as soon as we arrived back at Skyhold. “It’s so cool! Auntie Lana has a throne, Uncle Ali and Cullen go fight with the soldiers, Aunt Cass and Hawke practice with these really wicked dummies and a lady plays music at the bar-“ </p><p>“All right, all right!” John said, grabbing the boy by the collar before he broke his neck in excitement. “We’re gonna be here for a few days, kid- we got time, don’t worry.” Then he looked at Lana, his expression a bit more serious. “Y’all sure it’s ok if we stay for a few more days?”</p><p>Lana gave him a withering look, putting her hands on her hips. “Are you daft, John? Makers breath, I’m trying to recruit you, not send you home!” She laughed, reaching out to place a kiss on his scarred cheek. “If there was any way to convince the lot of you to stay longer, I’d do it without hesitation.” </p><p>“And I’d look for every thread that might get you to stay,” I replied as I helped Shaun out of the carriage before he leaped to his doom. “He’s a little excited, but I do have to admit, we’ve done a lot to make this place not feel like a medieval torture chamber.” I gestured to the main hall, then let out a yawn. “The guest quarters are that way- I’m sure Josie’s got a room all set up for you by now.”</p><p>“But I wanna room with Auntie Sam and Uncle Cullen,” Shaun huffed, crossing his arms. “They have a ladder in their room and a hole in the roof! Plus, how am I gonna know when it’s time to go to training if I don’t? You gotta get up early if you want to train properly… right, Uncle Ali?” </p><p>To his credit, Ali was doing an amazing job of not laughing at the small boy. “Absolutely right,” he replied, ruffling his nephew’s hair. “But seeing as how I want John to attend a few training sessions with us, having you to guide him to the grounds wouldn’t be the worst thing, right?” He gave John a look, who promptly rolled his eyes in response. “You know, since you were curious what made these two think we were the most amazing men on the planet.” </p><p>“Fair warning, Squeak, I just might murder your brother…” John said as Cullen started to laugh. “Hope you weren’t too attached to this one.” </p><p>“Be my guest,” Cullen replied with a sweeping bow, and groaning when Ali punched him lightly in the ribs. “What’s one less warden around these parts, anyway?”</p><p>“Anyway,” I said, patting my husband on the shoulder. “I’m exhausted. Four days in a carriage is enough to make me want to murder someone- you’re lucky I like y’all, otherwise I’d have been back here already.” I glanced over at Lana and waved, then pointed a finger at my nephew. “Your aunt is going to take a nap… and you’re not stealing my bed this time, kiddo.”</p><p>“Love you, Auntie Sam,” he replied, then quickly turned to Ali. “Can we go give Mom and Dad a tour? Please?” </p><p>Ali looked at me, and I could tell he was exhausted, but he also didn’t want to let the little boy down. “I suppose a short tour wouldn’t be the worst thing,” he agreed, looking over at Lana, who smiled good-naturedly. “Lana, will you keep Jenny while Shaun and I show them around?” </p><p>“Did you even have to ask?” She snuggled her face into Jenny’s, making the girl squeal with delight. “Come, we’ll walk with you to your quarters, Sam- the walk will do me good as well.” </p><p>We said our goodbyes and watched as the others set off, letting out a collective sigh that was a mix of exhaustion and relief.  “Maker, how are children so energetic? Shouldn’t he be exhausted by now?” </p><p>“Nope,” I replied. “He’d go nonstop if we let him. I love him to the moon and back, but I’m damn happy his parents are here,” I said honestly. “Kids are exhausting.”</p><p>Cullen chuckled as he placed a kiss on my forehead. “And so are you... but you don’t see me complaining.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Later that evening, Ali had returned to their room, looking haggard but otherwise fine. “And our family has been delivered to their quarters,” he said with a flourish. He was about to say more, but Lana quickly shushed him. “Um,’ he said, looking down at the sleeping girl in her arms, “I thought we were returning these to their rightful owners?” </p><p>“I told Sam to let them know I had her,” Lana replied, stroking her curls. “I wanted to let them get some sleep for a moment.” </p><p>“And what of us getting some sleep for a change?” Ali asked, placing a soft kiss on her neck as he took off his boots and sat next to her. Then he looked at Lana for a moment and smiled. “I never thought you’d enjoy children so much, love.” </p><p>“I didn’t either,” she admitted. “It’s just been… refreshing to have my family here. I didn’t realize how much I wanted something like this until I had it.” She looked over at him and smiled sadly. “One day, I’d love to try to have children of our own.”</p><p>His smile faltered for a moment. “Are you going to be okay if that… never happens?” He looked at Jenny and placed a kiss on her head, softly twirling one of her red curls around his finger. “With the taint and all…” Alistair sighed, then looked back up at Lana. “I would love to give you everything you want, but I don’t know if I can promise you this, Lana.”</p><p>“You’re enough,” Lana assured him. “Besides, we have a magister trying to be a god that we have to handle first, remember? Not to mention a wedding t plan and a country to unite, so I think that this is a discussion for another time.”</p><p>“Speaking of weddings,” he said, looking at her hand and tracing the ring with his thumb, “I was talking with John and Grace about that, actually.” She raised an eyebrow and he grinned sheepishly. “How would you feel about having a small one, while they’re here? Grace seemed excited about the idea of being able to attend a ceremony for you, and she said that in her world, talented artisans were even able to make dresses in a day-“</p><p>“Oh, she means the project of runways!” Lana said, clapping her hands with delight. When she did, Jenny shifted in her sleep, so she immediately lowered her voice. “I remember seeing an advert for that show before.” </p><p>“That world never ceases to amaze me,” Ali said, shaking his head. “At any rate, John said he planned theirs in a day, and he’d be happy to help… that is, if you want to,” he said quickly, looking at her eagerly. “I gather it might take longer than a day, particularly once Josie gets wind of the idea, but I thought with your family here…” </p><p>“Yes!” Lana said excitedly, squealing loudly and waking the tiny girl next to them. Jenny yawned, then glared at them before she rolled over and snuggled into Ali’s side, quickly going back to sleep. “Yes," Lana whispered, making Ali snicker. “A thousand times, yes.” </p><p>“Seriously? We’re doing this?” He searched her face expectantly and Lana could feel her face heat up with excitement. “After all this time, you won’t be mad that it’s not going to be the wedding of your dreams?”</p><p>“Who said it won’t?” Lana replied, tweaking his nose and laughing quietly. “You still have that armor, Grace is going to do what the chief artisan says and ‘make it work’ for a dress, and Sam has Oreos in that bag of hers- as long as you or Grace don’t have a hand in baking the cake, I think we’ll be fine. The bigger question is, are <em>you</em> ready?” </p><p>“I’ve been ready for the last ten years, Lana.” He let out his own laugh and leaned over the sleeping girl, kissing her excitedly. “Are you ready to become Solana Theirin in front of all our family and friends?” </p><p>“Absolutely,” she said, feeling nothing but love in her heart as she stared at him. “Absolutely and without question.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“You know, you’re a sneaky bitch,” I said as I grinned at my sister, holding a cup of hot chocolate in my hands as we sat outside on the ramparts. “Did you really just work Ali and Lana over just so you could attend a goddamn wedding?” </p><p>Grace sipped her hot chocolate, her curls whipping around in the nighttime breeze. “Maybe,” she replied with a shrug. “What? It wasn’t like they weren’t gonna do it anyway… I just sped it up a little, you know?” She smiled sadly, then looked up in the night sky and frowned. “The stars are different here, Squeak- we don’t share a sky anymore.” </p><p>“I know,” I said sadly. “But we’ve got each other again, which is all that matters.” I turned around and picked up the other cup. “And we’re a trio now,” I said with a smile as I handed the now-cold beverage to Lana. “Fashionably late as always, Lana Banana.” </p><p>“Well, I was in the middle of planning a wedding,” she said with a grin. “I hear I have you and John to thank for this accelerated timeline, sister?” Lana wrapped her hands around the cup, heating the beverage inside. “Mmmm,” she breathed, taking a sip and leaning over the rail with us. “I remember you telling me about nights like this, but I never thought I’d have one, Sam.” </p><p>Grace just stared at Lana in amazement. “And I thought Squeak was weird,” she mumbled, shaking her head sadly. “I’m always gonna be the odd one out, aren’t I? Just normal ol’ Grace with the super sisters, huh?”</p><p>Lana gave Grace an incredulous look. “Are you joking right now?” She turned to me, confused. “Sam, is she serious? With you two, I can never tell.” </p><p>“I hope not,” I said, looking from Lana to Grace. “Wait, you guys didn’t let her go drinking with Bull, did you? He’s got some shit that’ll have you speaking in tongues if you aren’t careful.” I squinted at Grace and cocked my head. “You still feel normal, right? There’s nothing growing where it shouldn’t?”</p><p>“You two suck, you know that?” Grace said, settling down on the blanket I’d spread outside our door and leaning against the stone. “I’m just a little jealous, that’s all. Nothing new,” she said, resting her hands behind her head. “It’s not you, Lana- I’m just always the fuck up, you know? You two… you just seem perfect.” She smiled sadly at us. "You’re a goddamn powerhouse, Lana, and Squeak… you’re gonna be just as badass as mom one day. Then there’s me,” she said glumly. “The functioning drunk with a mean right hook.”</p><p>“Who just outplayed every single person in Orlais,” Lana said, settling next to her and placing her head on her shoulder. “A woman with no magic went in and fought at the side of the woman who’s barely related to her and protected her at every turn.” Lana wrapped her arm around Grace and hugged her tight. “I wish I had your strength, dear sister.” </p><p>I plopped down on the ground on her other side, reaching in the bag for the Oreos. “Goddamn it, Grace, you <em>know</em> you’re a fucking rockstar. You’ve always been the mastermind behind any fucking scheme, and you’re fucking brilliant.” She scowled, but I pinched her arm and handed her a cookie. “Everything I know, I learned from you. Anytime I did something, it was because I wanted to be as awesome as you. I learned how to do half of the shit I can do because I needed to find you. And,” I said, looking over at Lana with a smile, “the only reason I know this girl that I love to death and back is because I was looking for you. So you brought us together, GraceFace- like it or not, you’re part of this.” I looked up at the sky, then down at my sister. “You’re our anchor, Grace.” </p><p>“Y’all are some sappy bitches,” Grace retorted, looking up at the sky for a moment. Then she looked back down, and I could tell that she was trying not to cry. “I’m so proud of you two,” she whispered. Then she wiped her eyes and I could see a smirk creeping across her lips. “Now, before John and I head back home... I had a thought.”</p><p>“Uh oh,” I said cautiously. “I don’t like that look, Lana- usually that look results in property damage and assault charges.” I leaned over and looked at Lana. “The last time this shit happened, she convinced me that it was cool for us to sneak into a frat party and jump off the roof into the swimming pool.” </p><p>“Hey,” she said, pointing a finger at me, “that was goddamn fun and you know it! You saw that shit in that movie and you wondered if it would be a good idea!” She shrugged. “I just obliged.” </p><p>“Was it?” Lana asked curiously. “A good idea, I mean.”</p><p>“Hell no it wasn’t!” I said with a laugh. “This bitch was fine- apparently, she heals like Wolverine. I, on the other hand, broke my goddamn arm and had to spend the whole fucking summer in a cast. On the plus side, I was able to get a lot of reading done.” </p><p>Lana let out a loud laugh, reaching over and taking another one of the cookies. “Before we get to whatever shenanigans Grace has in store for us, I have a proposition of my own, if I may.”</p><p>"Shoot,” Grace said, dunking a cookie in her mug. “Whatcha got for us?"</p><p>“I would like to have that sleepover you talked about,” she said shyly. “You, Cass, Grace, and I. Maybe even Leli and Josie, if they’d like.” She looked down, avoiding our faces as she continued. “I’ve thought that sounded like a fun time ever since we discussed it, but with Grace here and my upcoming wedding…” </p><p>“Holy shit,” I said, looking over at Grace. “We could have a sleepover bachelorette party!” </p><p>Her eyes grew wide and she got a huge grin on her face. “I <em>so</em> have a bottle of rum in my trunk.” When I looked at her stupid, she shrugged. “Sam, I have two fucking kids and I’m traveling to another world- why the fuck wouldn’t I bring alcohol?"</p><p>“You raise a valid point,” I said thoughtfully. Then my eyes grew wide. “Lana… you can freeze things!” </p><p>“Yes,” she said with a slow nod, looking at me as if I was stupid. “That tends to happen when you have the ability to control ice, dear Sam.” </p><p>Grace just looked at me, cottoning on to what I was thinking. “Are you thinking… <em>mixed drinks?</em> Icy, beautiful drinks?” She let out a happy sigh, then slumped her head against the wall. “And no fucking kids? Seriously, am I dead? Did we fuck up somewhere, cause I swear, this sounds like heaven right now.”</p><p>Lana looked back and forth between us, a tentative smile on her face. “Though I haven’t the foggiest what you two are talking about, it sounds as if the two of you think this might be a good idea?” </p><p>“Lana, it’s the <em>best</em> goddamn idea in Thedas,” I said happily. “Or the worst, depending on what the hell happens afterward- can’t be sure just yet.” She laughed, and I rubbed my hands together.  “Get everyone together- we’re <em>so</em> fucking doing this.” </p><p>“Before we get too lost in the sauce,” Grace said, that maniacal grin still fixed on her face, “there’s still the little thing I wanted to ask Lana about, if you guys don’t mind.” </p><p>“Oh lord,” I muttered. “What’s up?”</p><p>She looked at us with a gleam in her bright green eyes. “I want to go on a mission with you,” she whispered, looking furtively back and forth. “And… I know it might mean us staying out here a little longer, but if you can swing it…” </p><p>Lana looked at her, trying to figure out what Grace was getting at. “Can we swing what, Grace? You already know that I’m wholeheartedly in favor of whatever would keep you and John in our company for any length of time, so what is it that would you like to do?”</p><p>“I want to fight a motherfucking dragon,” she said with glee. “An honest-to-goodness fire-breathing dragon.” </p><p>I groaned, putting my head in my hands. “Of course you fucking do."<br/>
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<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Ain't no party like an Inquisition party</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Grace and Lana go dragon hunting; Sam shares a dream with Solas</p>
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</p><hr/><p>“But Sam,” Cass pleaded, “you simply must come! It would be your first time hunting a dragon!” She looked over at Bull, who was nodding enthusiastically. “You would leave your sisters alone for such a momentous occasion such as this?”</p><p>“Hard fucking pass, Cass,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m a walking cheat code- if Lana and Grace want to go fight a dragon, they’re gonna have to do it on their own. If shit gets real, Lana can call me- otherwise, I’m gonna sit this one out and work on getting stuff together for this wedding. Besides, I’ve had enough of weird locations in Thedas- hit me up when you guys go somewhere tropical.” I glared at my sisters. “Do <em>not</em> come back here battered and bruised, Lana- Grace is a goddamn trap, remember?” Instead of answering, my sisters just grinned, so I sighed and turned to Solas. “Please, keep them safe- John didn’t agree to stay here just to have her become dragon food.”</p><p>Solas nodded while Grace just shrugged. “She’s kinda got a point- I don’t bruise or scar, so as long as nothing’s broken on the inside, I’m always ready to rock and roll.” She rubbed her hands together, then pumped her fists in the air with glee. “So enough sitting around- I’m ready to go fight a motherfucking <em>dragon!”</em> She paused for a second, then looked at Lana. “Wait, you guys can heal me if shit goes sideways, right?” When Lana nodded, she did a happy dance. “I can’t believe it- I’m gonna slay a dragon!” </p><p>“I think I’m in love,” Bull murmured, looking over at Grace with adoration. My sister grinned, but John shot Bull a look- despite the fact that Bull was probably three times his size and built like a goddamn freight train, John gave him the quintessential “come at me bro” look, which made Grace giggle as she leaned over to kiss her husband on the cheek. Seeing John's glowering expression, Bull let out a rumbling laugh. “Don’t worry, Mayor- I’m just kidding around.” </p><p>“Uh-huh,” John said mildly, looking over at Lana and Grace. “Y’all <em>sure</em> this is what you want to be doing before your wedding? Ain’t y’all supposed to be doing something a little less… fucking stupid, maybe? Are we <em>really</em> staying here an extra week just so you guys can go fight a dragon, Sunshine?”</p><p>“Don’t look at me,” I told my brother-in-law. “I’m staying the hell out of it. I’m in for the decidedly less murder-y festivities when they get back- they can keep this one.” As I huffed and fumed a little more, I looked over and saw Hawke standing near the gates and prepping his things. “And why the hell are <em>you</em> involved in this lunacy?”</p><p>“Because it’s Grace’s first dragon,” he replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “At this point, I think you’re the only one in the family that <em>hasn’t</em> fought one… are you sure you want to miss out on all the fun, Sam?”</p><p>“It’s not a goddamn joint, Hawke,” I retorted, crossing my arms. “You guys aren’t going to peer pressure me into fighting a fire-breathing monster!” </p><p>“Suit yourself,” Grace said, shrugging her shoulders and adjusting her knapsack. “While you’re over here chickening out, I’m gonna go become the coolest person in Boston.” Then she leaned over to Lana, handing her phone over to her. “You remember how to use that, right? I need pics or this shit didn’t happen, sis.”</p><p>“Oh my fucking god,” I muttered, throwing my hands up in the air and walking off in a huff. “I hope that fucking lizard eats you all.” </p><p class="p1">
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</p><hr/><p>As they stopped to make camp, Lana smiled at the amount of sheer exuberance Grace had. Though they’d been traveling all day on horseback, she never complained- she just sat and watched, listening to the stories of Hawke and Bull with pure joy. Lana had been worried that handling a mission with Grace would be hard without Sam around to intervene, but she was finding it quite relaxing to be with her older sister. She had a sense of humor that was similar to Sam's, but she was more world-weary and strategic. She noticed there wasn’t a single instance where Grace wasn’t trying to think at least three moves ahead of everyone, and she was grateful for it.  </p><p>When they made camp for the evening, Lana quietly sat next to Grace, who was laying on her back and looking up at the stars. “You know, I daresay our brother-in-law would love to play chess with you,” she remarked, watching her sister with a smile. “I think you may actually be the only one of us able to beat him... without cheating.” </p><p>“Is he that good?” Grace asked, turning her head to look at her. Lana nodded, making her sister smile as she turned back up to the sky. “Guess I should try it out- can’t tell John though." Lana looked at her quizzically, and Grace giggled softly. "If I lose, I’ll never hear the end of it.” She paused for a moment, then folded her hands behind her head, her brown and blond curls splayed out behind her. “Thanks for taking me out with you guys… I know you’d rather have Sam here, but I really wanted the chance to get to know you better.” </p><p>Lana felt herself blushing by the firelight. “Grace, there is no need to thank me- I wanted to spend time with you. I must admit, I was fearful that you’d hate being out here on the road, but it appears my fears were unfounded- you seem quite at home out here.”</p><p>Grace snickered. “Yeah, well, that’ll happen when you have to walk or travel by weird mutant cow everywhere.” Lana looked at her curiously, making her laugh even more. “Hate to break it to you, but Squeak is the only one who got to live in the lap of luxury for the last few years- my life has been a constant exercise in roughing it, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.” </p><p>“Why do you two call her that?” Lana asked curiously. “She seems to be quite put out by the name.”</p><p>“Because Dad calls her Pipsqueak, so I shortened it to Squeak. Plus, when she gets really mad, her voice squeaks like a tiny mouse,” She imitated Sam squeaking, then put her fingers next to her cheek like tiny whiskers, chuckling softly. “Also, I guess it’s my way of reminding her that no matter what she does, she’s always gonna be my baby sister.”  Then Grace rolled on her side and gave Lana a cursory glance. “Plus, I wouldn’t laugh at her nickname too much if I were you- you’re gonna get one soon enough, you know.” </p><p>“Lana Banana is fine,” she replied with a laugh. “It was quite interesting when I got to her world and figured out what a banana actually was. Tasty thing, that fruit.” </p><p>Grace laughed, then rolled onto her back again, putting her hands behind her head. For a few moments, they were silent, but then Grace spoke again. “Hey, Lana?”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“I just wanted you to know that if no one else understands what you’ve been through, I think I might,” she said softly. “I didn't die, per se, but I know what it’s like to leave everything you know and feel like a stranger when you come back. I know how hard it is to learn that the people you love are gone and discover your whole world has turned upside down.” She cut her eyes over to Lana, who was now staring at her in shock. “Yeah, there’s still some stuff I haven’t even told Squeak about yet,” she said softly. “She knows most of it, but she doesn’t know about the nightmares, the feeling like you're constantly out of step, or that it can feel like everyone’s in on a joke that you don’t know anything about.”</p><p>“Or that you sometimes think everyone might have been better off if you’d stayed gone,” Lana replied quietly, laying down on the ground next to her. Grace nodded, then extended her arm out, inviting Lana to lay next to her, just as Sam always did. “Sam and I do this too,” Lana said softly, laying on Grace’s shoulder as her sister put her arm around her. </p><p>“Who do you think she got it from,” Grace asked with a smile. “Look, Lana, I’mma tell you something- don’t always feel like you have to be the strong one, ok? You got family for a reason- we’re here for you when you need it. Trust me,” she whispered. “If you don’t… it comes out later. You’re a lot like me, kid,” she said firmly, kissing her on the forehead. “They think we don’t care… but that isn’t it at all, is it?”</p><p>“No,” Lana replied. “I care very deeply. I just… don’t always know the best ways to show it,” she admitted. “Everyone is counting on me- I can’t be weak.”</p><p>“Look here, Lana- no matter what… if there’s no one else you can count on, always know that you can count on your sisters,” Grace said, her tone a little softer as she stroked Lana's hair and hugged her tight. “I’m just a letter from that stupid-ass bird away if you ever want to talk, and if you ever need me here, you better believe I’m coming.” She gave Lana a mischievous grin that made her look years younger. “Hey, if you fuck with one of us, you fuck with all of us- that’s the family credo.”</p><p>“Quite catchy,” Lana replied, looking up at Grace with a slight smile. “Should we put it on a coat of arms?”</p><p>“Only if you can get mine put on the back of a motorcycle jacket,” she replied, poking her in the ribs. “I wear a medium, in case you’re wondering.” </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>John had been busy while Grace and Lana were gone. </p><p>True to their word, Cullen and Alistair had taken him down to the training grounds, and he could see why his son was so impressed. Watching the two men fight was like something out of one of Shaun's books, and he had to admit that what his in-laws lacked in nerves, they more than made up for it in brute strength. Alistair had tried to teach him a few tricks, but he vastly preferred the feel of his shotgun to a sword and shield- after finding himself flat on his back more than remaining upright, John quickly bowed out of their training exercises. What he <em>had</em> done, however, was ask Sam to refill his container of Mentats and watch their practices, offering the men hints on where they’d left an opening or a way they might surprise an opponent. </p><p>Initially, he thought he’d be left alone with the kids in the apartment that Josie had set up for them, but that wasn’t to be. Every evening before dinner, Shaun had raced off to be with the other kids in Skyhold, eager to head to the stables and listen to one of Blackwall’s stories. The first few evenings, John dutifully followed behind his eager son, sitting with Jenny in his lap and watching as the bearded man enraptured the children with his booming voice, telling them stories about pirates, monsters, and captains. Despite wanting to be in bed with his wife by his side, John often found himself listening just as eagerly as the children were, enjoying the tales from a world that was remarkably different from his own. </p><p>On the third evening, he was settling in for the story and trying to stop Jenny from trying to run after Shaun and the older boys playing with wooden swords. He had just scooped up the tiny girl when he felt a soft tap on his shoulder and he jumped, surprised at the encounter- no one had ever managed to get the drop on him before.</p><p>“They seem to be having fun,” Leliana said softly, watching the children as they ran around with the bearded man, then smiling at the little girl in his arms. “This one wants to play too, no?” </p><p>“Yeah, she does,” he replied, hoisting the protesting girl on his hip. “‘Fraid she’s a little too small for that, though.” </p><p>“It would seem that way,” Leliana said in that soft voice of hers, chucking Jenny gently on the chin. “But if you don’t mind, I may have something that she can do.” </p><p>“If it’ll burn off all this energy, I’m all ears,” John replied. “Lead the way.”</p><p>The spymaster laughed. “We have a friend here that loves small children,” she replied. “And he’s more than happy to run around, I assure you.”  She led them to the other side of the stable, where a large brown dog was resting nearby, watching the boys run back and forth with interest. “Dog," she called out, "are you busy?”</p><p>The dog barked, looking at Leliana and stretching before walking over to her and sitting down, wagging his stump of a tail.  John just smiled, shaking his head- Shaun had told him about the dog but he wasn’t in a hurry to meet another canine, as the one they had at home was more than enough for him. However, Jenny loved their mutt, so when she saw Dog she reached her chubby hands out to him and squealed, trying to break free from her father's arms. “Whoa, kid, slow down," John exclaimed as he tightened his grip on his renegade daughter, "I don’t know if he wants to be bothered wit’ cha.”</p><p>However, Dog was unconcerned by Jenny's advances- he yipped happily, running around in circles with a big doggy grin on his face and his tongue hanging out his mouth then sat in front of John, looking to Jenny expectantly. <em>Let her down,</em> his expression seemed to say as his stump tapped against the ground. <em>I want to play!</em></p><p>At that, Leliana turned to John and smiled. “On the contrary, John- as you can see, Dog loves kids.  He spends the afternoons helping the teachers corral the smaller ones- he always brings back the ones who try to run off when the teacher's backs are turned.” She scratched the canine behind the ears, causing his foot to thump repeatedly on the ground. “Seeing as he is her aunt’s dog, I figured he should meet this little wonder of yours.”</p><p>“That so?” Carefully, John put Jenny down, watching closely as the little girl took off like a shot to the dog, wrapping her hands around his neck. When the dog rested his head on her shoulder, he let out a loud laugh. “Well I’ll be damned,” he said, then his eyes widened as his daughter started wrapping her legs around the dog, climbing on his back. “Wait!” John called out, heading over to the girl. “We don’t ride the dog, kiddo.”</p><p>In response, Dog just barked, lowering himself down and waiting until Jenny had gotten on his back. When he was confident she was settled, he stood up and began walking slowly around the barn, woofing lightly as the tiny girl buried her face in his neck.</p><p>“What the…” John said, looking at Leliana, who was crossing her arms and smiling. “Is that dog <em>seriously</em> letting my child ride it like a brahmin?” </p><p>“He fought with us during the blight,” Leliana replied with a shrug. “Dog is one of our most trusted allies- I wouldn’t introduce him to your daughter otherwise.” She looked over at the barn, where Jenny was now making woofing noises, and Dog was responding in kind, walking around the yard in slow circles before returning to John’s side. He tried to grab the girl from the dog, but when Jenny buried her face in its neck, Dog gave a huff and turned away from John, trotting back off to the other side of the yard with his tiny passenger still in tow.</p><p>“The dog just stole my daughter,” he said to the spymaster, gesturing to the two of them now sitting on the ground, Dog's head in her lap and his eyes closed as the girl patted him on the back. “Should I be concerned about this at all?”</p><p>Leliana just laughed. “Not in the slightest,” she replied. “Now that he knows who she is, your daughter couldn’t ask for a better guardian.” She shook her head and smiled. “However, I fear you may have a roommate for the remainder of your stay.”</p><p>“Joy,” John said, staring at his daughter, who had now stretched out in the grass and cuddled up to the large war hound. “But she better leave him here when we leave- we ain’t got room for that motherfucker at home.”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>I was listening to some music in my headphones and sipping a hazelnut latte at a small outdoor cafe, lost in thought as I chewed on my pencil. The air was crisp and clean, with the sounds of cars whizzing by tempered by the melody swirling around me. Smiling and bobbing my head to the song, I sat down my cup and resumed my drawing, only to be interrupted by a tap on my shoulder. “Huh?” I said, startled as I quickly yanked the bud out of my ear. </p><p>Solas looked around, his eyes wide with interest. “Such a detailed world,” he remarked. “Is this often how you spend your time in the fade?”</p><p>Relaxing a little, I smiled at the elf. “It’s quiet here,” I admitted. “I can do what I want and I don’t have to hide. I know it’s not real, but sometimes, it’s real enough for me.”</p><p>“Do you ever seek out others to join you?” Solas asked as he sat down across from me, frowning at the signage he couldn’t read. “I suspect others would enjoy exploring your world, even if it is just through your memories.” </p><p>“Oh, this isn't one of my memories,” I corrected. “I never got a chance to go here. Always wanted to, though- it was set to open right before I left.” I held up my cup, staring at the now-full latte again. “On the plus side, that means the service will never be slow, the food will always be great, and the weather will never be rainy.” I gave him a small shrug. “Plus, I don’t know about inviting others to my party- it’s kinda private for me.” </p><p>“Interesting," he said with a smile. "Am I intruding?” The elf questioned, sitting in his chair and folding his hands. “If so, I do apologize.”</p><p>I shook my head. “Nope, you’re fine. I know you’re really here, unlike the others.” I took another sip of my beverage before staring at people playing frisbee in the park across the street. "I’d never be sure if anyone else was real or not- so I find it best to just be alone with my thoughts for the little time I'm here.”</p><p>“Isn’t that lonely?” Solas remarked, taking a tentative bite out of one of the scones from the tray I made appear on the table. “You don’t converse with friends in the fade?”</p><p>“I barely have friends in the real world, Solas.” I shoved a scone in my mouth, letting the crumbs fall out as I talked. “I’m definitely not into making any new ones in my head.” He shook his head at me, laughing while he offered me a napkin to wipe the frosting from my face. “Why," I asked with a grin. "Don't tell me you have friends here.”</p><p>He nodded. “The denizens of the fade,” he replied serenely. “My friends are spirits, showing me much, and teaching me more. You should meet them sometime.”</p><p>“I’m not doing anything now,” I remarked. “Let’s go to your room and play with your toys for awhile- I’d invite them over here, but,” I shrugged nonchalantly. “Don’t want any uninvited guests showing up at my party- it’s peaceful here and I’d like to keep it that way.” </p><p>“A wise decision,” Solas agreed, rising from his seat and extending his hand to me. “You are smarter than your frivolity gives you credit for, Samantha.”</p><p>“Had to happen sometime,” I said, feeling awestruck at the way the scene changed. Instead of being in a park in the middle of New Jersey, Solas had shifted to us to a forest, where a nighttime sky loomed over a crystalline river- lush flora and fauna surrounded us, and fireflies were everywhere, dotting the scene with pinpricks of colorful light. “Whoa," I breathed. “This is gorgeous, Solas."</p><p>“Thank you,” he replied, waving a hand in greeting to the shimmering form of a woman sitting next to the waters edge. “Well met, Wisdom.”</p><p>“Well met, friend,” the spirit replied, standing up and walking over to us. “I see you have a visitor with you.” </p><p>“Yep,” I said happily, giving Wisdom a light wave. “Nice to meet you, Wisdom.” Then I paused for a moment and turned to Solas. “Wait a sec, you don’t mean like legit wisdom, do you? That name is code for something else, right?”</p><p>Wisdom shook her head. “Dearest Samantha, you of all people should know that things take different forms- in this world, spirits can be manifest and made real.” She smiled at me, then placed a shimmering hand on my shoulder. “And to those with knowledge or need, we come when called. For us spirits who are pure, we come to offer assistance, while those with ill intent offer treachery- two sides of the same coin, but answers are always given to those who seek them.”</p><p>As she touched me, I felt a shudder roll through my body as a branch flashed in front of my eyes. “Um,” I said carefully, looking between the two of them, “I didn't know spirits could cause this, but I just got a vision.” I swallowed, then looked at Solas. “Something is going to happen to Wisdom,” I said. “I see you going to help some people, but then you change and you turn into a demon.”</p><p>The spirit paused for a moment, then frowned. "I can see the knowledge within you, child,” Wisdom replied, looking at me sadly. “It appears you have the gift of sight across time and space.”</p><p>“Yeah, but I’d like to use this gift to stop you from turning into something that wants to kill people,” I said quickly. “Solas, if I search for the people I saw, would you be able to come with me? Could we stop this from happening to your friend?”</p><p>He shook his head. “My travels are limited, Samantha. I do not have the same ability to traverse distance as you. But you still have the ability to control the Fade," he said slowly. "Do you think you could show me what you’ve seen?”</p><p>“Duh!” I replied, smacking myself in the head. “You’re a goddamn genius- one second.” In a flash, I had set up a movie screen on the lake, playing the vision I had glimpsed- Wisdom turned into a Pride demon, surrounded by crystals and a bunch of scared-looking mages in a lush green landscape. “That’s what I saw,” I whispered. “I can go by myself, but I can’t do anything to stop a demon without Lana there.” </p><p>Solas’s face darkened. “I know this place, Samantha. We are not far from there- your sisters are with me, sleeping. It is daylight when this happens, correct?”</p><p>I gestured to the screen, nodding. The scene was sunny and bright, a stark contrast to the horror playing out on it. “Yeah. So I guess if it’s still night, we have some time to stop this from happening, right?”</p><p>He gave a curt nod of his head, then stood up straight. “Quite right. And stop it we shall.” Then he turned to the spirit, caressing its arm with a gentle hand. "I will not let this fate befall you, friend- this I promise you.” </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“Wake up,” a voice said in her ear as it shook her by the arm. “I need you, Lana Banana.” </p><p>Groaning, Lana opened an eye, then yelped as she saw Sam sitting at the end of her bedroll. “Maker preserve us, what are you doing here, Sam? Is everything okay?”</p><p>“Yes and no,” Sam replied, looking over at Grace, who was still snoring. “Everyone at home is fine, but there’s an issue out here and I need your help.” Lana looked at her sister with confusion- Sam never requested help, unless…</p><p>“Who requires our assistance?” Lana asked quickly, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “What did you see, Sam?”</p><p>“I had a super strange dream in the fade,” she said slowly. “Solas was there, and after we had a snack he took me to meet a spirit of Wisdom. Turns out my powers and spirits also don’t mix, cause I got a straight future flash- someone’s going to corrupt his spirit friend and turn it into a big fucking demon.” She sighed, looking around the tent. “On the bright side, it was a perfect storm- it’s about to happen out here, so I need your help to stop it.” Sam gave Lana an apologetic look. “I wasn't trying to crash your lizard party, but if we pull this off we’re avoiding a really powerful spirit turning into a gigantic fucking demon, so that has to count for something, right?”</p><p>“Count for what?” Grace asked sleepily, yawning. “How’d you get here, Squeak? Am I dreaming?”</p><p>“Nope,” Sam said quickly as she glanced at their sister, taking note of her wild hair and sleepy eyes. “I can teleport out here. Very useful in certain cases… like now. So, long story short, Solas needs your help, Lana.” </p><p>“Considering I’d have died again quite quickly if he didn’t save me, I think I owe him at least this much,” Lana said wearily, getting to her feet. “Grace, feel free to stay- hopefully, this shouldn’t take that long.”</p><p>“No way, Jose,” Grace retorted, climbing out of her bedroll and pulling on her boots. “I’m not letting my little sisters go skulking off alone in the dead of night to go find a group of emo kids that think summoning a demon is a good idea.” She shot them both a look that would have killed a snake. "Jesus fucking christ, Squeak, how has that your husband of yours not had a heart attack yet?” </p><p>Lana shrugged as she grabbed her staff, climbing quietly out of the tent. “Luck?” <br/><br/>After gathering the rest of their party (after hearing Sam's request, no one was willing to stay behind), they trudged off in silence for a few moments. Soon, Lana noticed a group of three mages huddled next to a tree- one was crying, holding their arm while another cast a healing spell on them. “There, there, it’s all right,” the man said. “We’re going to be okay, I promise- no one is going to hurt you anymore.” </p><p>“But…but… they killed Miriam!” The woman began to sob uncontrollably, flinging her arms around the man. “I didn’t leave the Circle to die like this! We must do something!”</p><p>“I know,” he said. “She was my love too, Anna. Trust me, I want nothing more than to have her back.” Then he looked over at the chubby mage holding a book in his trembling hands. “Cedric, have you found anything yet? We can’t continue on like this?”</p><p>“I... I think so,” Cedric said shakily. “There’s a spell right here,” he replied, tapping a page with his finger. “It says we can summon a spirit for help. Maybe-“</p><p>“Maybe you can think of a better way to do that,” Sam snarled, walking up to the group with a very angry Solas at her side. “Cause if you do that, I can’t guarantee that all of you won’t die.”</p><p> At that, Sam looked over at their traveling companions, who did not look happy with being torn from sleep to deal with this stupidity. Hawke was glaring, but it was Cass who finally spoke. “There is an Inquisition camp nearby,” she replied flatly. “We will take you there… if you surrender that book and cease meddling in affairs you know nothing about.”</p><p>“Either that or die out here,” Grace said mildly, twirling a dagger in her hands. “Hate to tell you this, but my sisters ain’t fuckin’ around. According to Lil’ Miss Prophet, y’all were about to do some next-level damage. And he,” she jerked a thumb at Solas, “was looking like he was about to tear your heads from your bodies.” She glanced over at the elf, who was now gritting his teeth in anger. “Choose wisely, folks.” </p><p>“Who are you?” Cedric spat. “You’re probably templars sent to capture us. Haven’t you monsters done enough?”</p><p>“Monsters?” Lana replied quickly. “I’m with the Inquisition,” she replied, not wanting to give away her status if they didn’t know it. “And I can assure you, if you head to that camp, no harm will come to you, be it from demons or Templars.”</p><p>“Decide wisely,” Solas snarled, his voice vibrating with rage. “And know that if you’re being deceitful, we’ll know.” </p><p>Lana had never seen the elf so angry before, and she readied her staff- these people were terrified, but she was well aware that fear only served to make people more dangerous. She didn’t want to hurt them, but she knew firsthand how dangerous untested magic could be. “I know you’re afraid,” she said gently, “but I can assure you that dabbling in magic you know nothing about is not the answer.” </p><p>“I just want to be safe,” the woman named Anna answered, tears glistening in her brown eyes. “I don’t want to die out here.” </p><p>“You won’t,” Hawke replied gently, reaching out for her hand and helping the injured girl to her feet. “Please, I understand you’ve been witness to horrors aplenty out here, but let us help you- this isn’t the way.”</p><p>Cedric turned to his traveling companions, his face questioning. Finally, the other man relented, lowering his head as he watched Anna collapse in Hawke’s arms. “All right,” he said quietly, looking at Lana with defeat. “We will come with you- it’s better than waiting here for our deaths.” </p><p>Lana looked over at Sam, who had closed her eyes. Suddenly, her eyelids fluttered open and she smiled, resting a hand on Solas’s shoulder. “It’s done,” she whispered. “The branch is gone.” </p><p>“Ma serannas,” he replied, clutching her hands in his. “You’ve done myself and these imbeciles a bigger favor than we’ve got a right to, Samantha.” He looked over at the three mages with disgust. “What they deserve is to be left to their fate,” he hissed. “They were willing to sacrifice a spirit to save themselves- why should we offer them a life they’d steal from another?”</p><p>Sam just shook her head, saying something in elven that Lana couldn’t make out. When she finished, Solas gave her a grimace and shook his head furiously, storming off in a huff. When Lana gave her a look, she sighed. “I told him that we can’t condemn someone for what they might do- we can only judge the actions they take.” She stared at the retreating form of the elf, then stuck her hands in her pajama pockets. “I’d leave him alone for a while, though.” </p><p>Taking a look around and seeing the grim faces of her companions, Lana let out a sigh and clapped her hands. “Well, that’s enough of that- let’s get these people to the camp and get a few more hours of sleep, shall we?” To his credit, Hawke just nodded, helping Cass usher the mages toward the camp without a word while Grace and Sam hung back with Lana and Bull. </p><p>“What a night,” Bull murmured, yawning as the others got a small distance ahead of them. “Good work, Sparrow, but really, this couldn’t have waited until morning?”</p><p>She shook her head. “They were going to destroy his friend,” she replied. “I couldn’t let that happen.” Sam looked over at the ridge and frowned. “I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think Solas is coming back anytime soon- you guys sure you still wanna do this?’</p><p>“Damn right I do,” Grace replied, putting her hands on her hips. “I haven’t been out here collecting rocks and fighting demons for nothing, Squeak- I was promised a dragon and I’m gonna <em>get</em> a goddamn dragon.” </p><p>The quinari let out a bellowing laugh, clapping Grace on the back. “I’m telling you, we need to keep this one, Boss- what do we have to do to convince them to stay?” Then he turned and looked at Sam with a smirk. “Are you sure we can’t convince you to come with us, Squirt? You're already out here with us, what's the harm in having a little fun?" </p><p>“Um, I'm damn sure this isn't fun,” Sam replied, letting out a yawn so wide that Lana was tempted to throw something in her mouth. “I have delivered my message and saved people. Now I must go back and practice baking a wedding cake for you, Lana. Unless you’d rather me sit around and make you end your dragon party in two seconds flat… which I would… out of spite.”</p><p>“Fine- go home, you petulant girl,” Lana grumbled, staring at her sister and bumping Sam with her hip. “I’d much rather have cake upon our return anyway."</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“And then,” Blackwall said, lowering his voice and leaning in toward the eager children, “the dragon <em>swooped</em> down from the sky and plucked the wardens from the tower, carrying them high into the night-“ he leaned over and grabbed Shaun and another boy by the shoulder, making the two jump and squeal with delight, "holding each one in a giant talon!”</p><p>“And then what happened?” Shaun asked eagerly. “C’mon, Warden Blackwall- you gotta finish telling us what happened!” He looked over at his new friend before the two boys stared at the warden. “Right, Will?”</p><p>The little boy named Will nodded excitedly, causing Cullen to shake his head with laughter at his nephew. Ali had already told Lana, Cullen, and Sam that he suspected the man was not a Grey Warden, but no one could find the proper way to broach the subject. In the meanwhile, everyone had continued to pretend it was business as usual- if he tried not to think about it too much, Cullen could easily forget that the man before them was carrying some sort of a secret. He knew it would come out eventually, but for now, the falsehood was enough- they kept him out of Inquisition business as much as possible and kept an eye on him because of it, but other than his odd determination to stick to what was now becoming an obvious lie, Cullen could find no fault with the man. Chuckling, he leaned over and ruffled the boy’s hair. “Having fun, I take it?”</p><p>“Yup!” Shaun said, twisting his neck to stare up at Cullen. “Will and I have been tryin’ to get Warden Blackwall to tell us the rest of the Blight story, but he keeps teasin’ us!” </p><p>Blackwall looked thoughtful. “Maybe it’s because you two lads haven’t helped Will’s ma with the chores yet?” In response, Shaun gave the man a twisted mock pout, causing Blackwall to let out a hearty laugh at the two boys before getting to his feet. “If she says the horses are brushed, I’ll give you each a piece o’ wood and I’ll tell you more while we carve… how’s that?”</p><p>“Deal!” Will said, dragging Shaun away and towards the stable. “C’mon, Shaun- we can use that brush you made to get this done faster!” </p><p>The two boys ran off, and Cullen just shook his head. “Having kids around sure does make things different,” he said good-naturedly. “It appears that you’re good with them, however.”</p><p>“Boys just want to grow up to be men, and men just want to go back to being boys that play in the fields all day,” Blackwall replied as he gathered his things from the ground. “If you keep that in mind, you’ll never go wrong.” Then he looked over the ridge and let out a laugh. “You may want to tell your wife to get your brothers- there appears to be a very proud group of travelers approaching.” He clapped Cullen between his shoulder blades and shook his head. “Maker knows this place is never boring.” </p><p>“That it is not,” he replied as he reached out in his head for Sam. <em>Is John still with you, love?</em></p><p><em>Yep- him and Jenny are helping me making sample cakes,</em> she responded. <em>Well, he’s helping and Jenny is just running around outside with Dog and Cole- why, what’s up?</em></p><p><em>You two might want to get out here,</em> he said as he tried to control his laughter. <em>Your sisters have arrived… and I think you should witness this.</em></p><p><em>I’ll get Ali,</em> she replied. <em>Be right there- is everything all right?</em></p><p><em>You’ll see,</em> he replied. <em>Don’t look, just come. I promise- it’ll be worth it. It needs to be seen <span class="u">and</span> heard, darling.</em></p><p>A few moments later, Sam, Ali, and John emerged from the kitchen, their eyes wide with shock when they saw what Cullen had witnessed. The five travelers were approaching Skyhold with a massive dragon skull being pulled on a cart, with Grace perched atop its bones with a bandaged ankle. Lana was sitting next to her, and the two girls were holding hands and singing at the top of their lungs while Bull pulled them toward the castle. </p><p>“We… are the champions, my friends!” Lana and Grace sang out, “and we’ll keep on fighting… <em>till the end!</em>” Grace let go of Lana for a moment, then pointed to Bull and Hawke. “All right, guys- sing it like I taught you!” </p><p>On cue, Bull and Hawke joined in. “We are the champions,” they sang out, raising their fists in the air. Cass was shaking her head at the lunacy unfolding around her, but Cullen could see a smile playing around her lips and saw her mouthing the words along with them. “We are the champions!”</p><p>Sam was staring at them in shock as they all continued to sing in unison, with Grace and Lana holding hands while screaming into Lana’s staff. “No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions… <em>of the world!</em>”</p><p>“Jesus H. Christ on crispy toast,” Sam said, looking at the cadre of idiots as they approached. “These motherfuckers just rode in here on a dragon head... to Queen.” She shook her head and looked at her brothers. “That right there is <em>exactly</em> why I wouldn’t stay with them.” </p><p>“Sam!” Grace called out, hopping off the skull and hobbling over to them, looking slightly charred and covered in soot, but otherwise beaming with pride. “Holy shit, that was <em>amazing!”</em> She grinned wildly as she gestured to the head, then looked at John with a smug expression. “I killed a dragon, hon!”</p><p>Her husband pointed to her ankle. “And you broke yourself,” he said in that mild tone Cullen was learning meant the man was highly irate but not willing to show it. “Didn’t we <em>just</em> have this discussion before you left about being careful?” </p><p>She shrugged. “Meh, I tripped over a rock and fell into a pile of grass that was on fire- no big deal.” She turned around to the skull and sighed happily, putting her hands on her hips. “So, do you think we can hang that up in the living room?” </p><p>Cullen could only walk over to Sam and put his arm around her, trying his best not to laugh at the scene unfolding in front of him. Ali wasn’t even trying to hold it in- the warden was doubled over in laughter, then turned to his future brother-in-law with tears in his eyes. “I… <em>cannot</em>…” he wheezed. “Not only did she get hurt in the stupidest way possible, but she also got Cass to sing!” He gripped his side, then leaned against the wall for support. “This… is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a very long time."</p><p>In response, John just shook his head. "No," he replied, glaring at his wife and rolling his eyes. "For us, this is Tuesday."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Not gonna lie, I don't want Grace to leave her sisters- these girls are too much fun together. </p><p>Next stop- Inquisition bachelor and bachelorette parties!</p>
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<a name="section0037"><h2>37. But where has the rum gone?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Team Mage hosts sleepovers and bachelor parties!</p>
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<hr/><p>After John had been reasonably assured that Grace was not, in fact, going to die from a sprained ankle and Grace was assured that her hard-won kill would be waiting someplace safe, Sam had insisted that her sisters needed to get ready. “Lana, help me get our resident daredevil to her room and cleaned up before our party tonight.” She nodded, moving so Grace could lean on her, and Sam turned to Ali, hands on her hips. “I love you, but you are not invited to this tonight, Ali- find somewhere else to sleep, cause I call dibs on your bed.” </p><p>“But you made cake,” he whined, earning him a look from Sam that would have peeled paint. “And I helped you gather herbs and fruit all day- I thought those were for our drinks!”</p><p>“No, those were for <em>our</em> drinks,” Sam said, pointing to herself, Grace, and Lana. “We’re having a bachelorette sleepover. “ Then she looked over at Lana and put her finger on her lips. “Wait, you still have that hangover recipe, right? I’m not doing this unless I know we’re not going to all feel like death tomorrow.”</p><p>Lana patted her satchel proudly. “I have the ingredients right here. As soon as we finish settling our dear accident-prone sister in, I will start preparing it.”</p><p>Grace sighed happily. “I <em>really</em> like magic, Sam. Like, you have no idea how much I’m loving this right now.” Then she stepped wrong and winced, picking up her swollen foot and scowling. “Well, I’m not loving this sprained foot thing, but you get the idea.” She turned to Lana and pointed to her ankle. “You sure it’s going to be better by the time we have the ceremony?”</p><p>Lana nodded. “I’m not as good as Solas, but I can do a little. Give it a day and it will be right as rain.” Then she paused, turning to the others with a concerned look. “Speaking of that, has Solas returned yet?”</p><p>Alistair nodded. “He came back a few hours before you. Locked himself in his room and hasn’t come out since.” He gave Lana a look. “What happened out there?” Cullen knew Sam had left to meet them in the field, but apparently, she hadn’t had time to get all the details to everyone yet. </p><p>His soon-to-be wife looked at the warden and groaned. “Some mages were going to summon his spirit friend, but Sam stopped them by recruiting them to the Inquisition. Solas wasn’t too pleased about that, I’m afraid.”</p><p>“So he left you,” John said flatly, crossing his arms across his chest. “After Squeak hopped all the way over to god knows where to bail his friend out, he threw a fit and <em>left</em> you guys there?" </p><p>“It wasn’t so bad,” Hawke replied, looking over at Bull and Cass. “We had it covered, though how someone that deadly can be so clumsy is beyond me." The rogue frowned at his cousin. "The battle would have gone swimmingly had this one not tripped over her own two feet and set herself on fire.” </p><p>John started to go pale again, but Bull gave him a tight squeeze around the shoulders. “Hey, there’s nothing to worry about- we got her patched up and she was able to come home with her prize. You got yourself a fine wife, Mayor,” he said with admiration. “She’d make an excellent soldier- you should see her in battle.”</p><p>“Already seen it more times than I care to,” John replied, sticking his hand in his pocket and frowning when he realized there was nothing there. “Just glad she’s home.” He gave Sam a look, then gestured toward his quarters. “Y’all gonna go fight another legendary creature, or can I take my wife to our room and patch her up?” </p><p>“Nope, we got this,” Sam replied, waving dismissively at her brother. “Cass and Lana are here to help and besides, I got plans that involve getting some shit from your room. Have fun down here with the rest of the crew…just don’t stab anyone, ok?” </p><p>John just scoffed and Alistair looked at Lana, who shrugged unhelpfully before heading off to help Sam get Grace to her room. As he watched the women retreat, Alistair frowned, turning to the remaining onlookers. “But what am I supposed to do?"</p><p>Hawke just laughed. “Have your own party, of course!” He clapped the warden on the back, draping his arms over his shoulder. “This is a joyous occasion for you as well, Alistair- we should all head over to the tavern and get piss drunk in honor of your upcoming union!” </p><p>Cullen glared at the rogue, who had walked Ali over to him and draped himself between the two of them. “And how, pray tell, is this different from any other day for you?” </p><p>“Easy,” Hawke replied. “I’ll be with you sanctimonious assholes.” Ali twisted his head in disbelief, making his future cousin laugh. “Wait, I take that back- Alistair has a sense of humor- you, dear cousin, seemed to have left yours back in Kirkwall.” </p><p>“I should have killed you when I had the chance,” Cullen grumbled, rolling his eyes at Hawke as the rogue gave him a cheeky grin. “I daresay no one would have minded.” </p><p>“But you didn’t,” Hawke sang out, dancing gleefully in front of them. “And now we’re here, ready to celebrate Alistair officially joining our madcap family." He poked Cullen in the chest, earning him a growl from the commander and a snicker from the warden. "Will you deny him such a gathering?” </p><p>“I had no such thing,” Cullen replied. “The night before my wedding, we were trapped in the deep roads and trying not to die. I consider the fact that I made it to my wedding day joyous enough.”</p><p>Obviously remembering the battle and their near-death experience, Ali let out a small shudder. “Yeah, not helping, Rutherford- fighting a crazy dwarf is not how I want to spend my last days as a single man.” He turned to Hawke, then shrugged. “So, in an effort not to mirror the mistakes of my friend here, I accept your offer, cousin- let’s go raise a glass to me marrying the love of my life.”</p><p>“I fully approve this plan,” Bull said as he began to wheel the skull toward the dungeons. “What time should we meet?”</p><p>“Considering we’ve been traveling for days on end,” Hawke replied, taking a deep inhale and wrinkling his nose. "I’d support having a bath first.”</p><p>Finally able to move, Cullen grimaced, shoving the man off him. “I wholeheartedly endorse that endeavor, you bloody git!”</p><p>Hawke just laughed as he moved away, making Cullen wonder if Lana would be terribly upset if he tossed her cousin off the ramparts when no one was looking. Smirking, Ali looked over at John, who just shook his head and laughed. “Was the night before your marriage like this, John?”</p><p>He shook his head. “Nope- I’m with Rutherford- Grace got kidnapped and had the shit kicked outta her the day before we got hitched- not exactly what I’d call a party.” </p><p>“Maker’s breath, has no one had a good evening before their marriage?” He looked at the two men, who both just smiled. “Does this mean I need to go out and have a battle first if I want a happy union?” Alistair let out a moan. “I don’t want to go out and fight again- I was starting to enjoy the idea of an evening filled with drinks and delicious food.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it,” Cullen replied. “You’ve lost the love of your life for ten years- I think you being without her for that time counts as a battle neither of us would have had the strength to fight, friend.” He looked over at John, who just nodded. “So, tonight, there will be no battles, no fights, and no worries.” Then Cullen gave him a smirk, folding his hands behind his back and walking toward his quarters. “This evening, the golden boy can be the black sheep of the family.”</p><p>John let out a loud laugh, clapping Cullen on the back. “You wish, Rutherford- from what I hear, that title is yours, full stop."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“So,” I said to my sisters, rubbing my hands together happily, “are we ready?</p><p>Grace held up a bottle of rum while she continued to muddle strawberries and basil in a large bowl. “Damn right I am. We’re about to make high-class rum punch in this bitch.” She laughed and shook her head at the empty juice box that I had refilled over and over again. “Is it terrible that I just used my kid’s juice boxes on a mission to get absolutely fucked up?”</p><p>“I’m just happy you remembered to send some with them,” I said cheerfully, pouring the contents into the bowl and refilling the boxes again. “You know you gotta leave these with me, right? I need something to drink besides ale that tastes like piss.” Then my eyes grew wide as Grace proceeded to pour half a gallon of rum into my mixture. “Jesus Christ, Grace- are you trying to kill us?” </p><p>She added the muddled fruit to the beverage, then poured in some whiskey from her flask. “No… I just decided against punch in favor of jungle juice. Figured it was more appropriate.” Then she extended the flask over to me, waggling it in front of my face. “Refill, please.” </p><p>“This is <em>not</em> a trick I should’ve shown you,” I grumbled. “At this rate, you’re gonna die of alcohol poisoning.”</p><p>“Look, we’re celebrating all of us here- a little fun won't kill you,” she replied simply, looking over with happiness as Lana rested her hands on the glass, sending crystals of frost creeping up the sides. “Oh man, Squeak, I love you to the moon and back, but Lana is creeping up on your spot for best sister ever… I think we have a tie now.”  She took a sip of her chilled concoction and squealed with delight, placing a hand over her chest and draping over a chair. “Wait- can any of you turn into a blender? If that’s a thing then I’m not leaving… ever.”</p><p>Lana gave a light laugh, shaking off the frost from her fingertips. “I feel the same way about Sam’s snacks,” she replied, taking a piece of cake and popping it into her mouth. “Goodness, Sam… this is delicious! It’s even better than the pastries we had at the palace!” </p><p>“That’s only because Sera practically poisoned all the good stuff,” I grumbled, taking a slice of the strawberry frosted cake. “Be careful, you human garbage disposal- I can’t rewind these, so once they’re gone, they’re gone.” </p><p>Lana sighed and sat down on her bed, but not before she took another piece of cake. Grace, however, gave me a frown. “Why can’t you rewind the cake?”</p><p>“It’s from this world,” I replied. “Only works on things from home. Such as a bottle of rum and juice boxes, since I know you got these from Mom’s before you left- last I checked, Costco didn’t survive the apocalypse.” </p><p>"Works on stuff from my time too- last I checked, you can't pick up Mentats from the 7-11, Squeak." She grinned, taking a sample of the cake for herself before looking over at the door. “Shouldn’t the others be here with the food by now?” She hobbled over to a more cushy chair, sinking in with a groan. “So, who’s all coming to this shindig? Do I have enough punch?”</p><p>“You have enough punch for the whole inner circle, you goddamn lush,” I retorted, creating a plate of cheese and feeling woozy. Sighing, I reached in my bag and pulled out my Red Bull, only to be stopped by Grace, who’d practically shot out of her seat. “What?” I asked, confused at her renewed vigor. </p><p>“I have something for that… something I was saving for a very special occasion,” she said seriously as she reached into the diaper bag and pulled out a tiny bottle of vodka, carefully holding it up as if it were a newborn baby. “You cannot have a Red Bull and vodka and not make a Red Bull and Vodka, Sam- it’s un-American. You’d be drummed out of the club for it.” </p><p>Lana’s eyes grew wide as saucers. “Give that to me… <em>now</em>. I love those damnable drinks of hers, and now you’re telling me you can mix it with <em>spirits?”</em> She vaulted over her bed, racing to Grace and plucking the bottle from her hands. “This happens <em>now</em>, Sam.” </p><p>“Seriously? Not you too?” I groaned, but obligingly, I poured the contents in a cup and mixed them, then rewound it and repeated it two more times. “To Lana,” I said, raising my cup in the air. “May the best of us have the best of life.” </p><p>“Well said,” Grace replied, sipping her drink and groaning with pleasure. “So, who’s in for movies, snacks, and pizza?”</p><p>I looked over at my odd creation, frowning at the cheese-covered blob that could only loosely be called a pizza. “Um, Cass, Leli, and Josie are in for sure. I told Sera about it,  but she told me that she and Dagna had some things to do, so she wasn’t going to be able to come.” </p><p>My sisters nodded, taking sips of their drinks just as there was a gentle knock on the door. “Coming!” Lana replied as she headed for the door, drink still in hand. “I daresay it’s about bloody time you lot showed up,” she said playfully. “We were just about to-“ </p><p>Before she could finish her sentence, she took a look at the entryway and paused, her eyebrows shooting practically to her hairline. “Oh, hello everyone,” she said, blinking rapidly before looking back at me. “Glad you could come and join us for our first sleepover and movie night in Thedas.” She looked at Grace, then swallowed. “Grace, let me reintroduce Leliana, one of my oldest friends, our wonderful ambassador, Josie, and… Vivienne. Friends, this is Grace Hancock, my sister.”</p><p>I was speechless, but Grace didn’t miss a beat. “So, you're Black Barbie, huh? Heard a lot about you.” Looking the mage up and down, she resumed sipping her drink. “’ Sup.”</p><p>Vivienne didn’t rise to her bait. “Hello, Mrs. Hancock,” she said stiffly before turning back to Lana. “As this is a party celebrating your upcoming nuptials, I had a tray of petit fours sent in from Orlais for the occasion.” She extended the tray to Lana, who took it graciously- she was doing a hell of a lot better than I, cause I would have slapped that shit out of her hands. “It’s a pleasure to be with you all.” </p><p><em>Sam,</em> Lana said in my head,<em> do not make a scene. Please, for the love of the maker, just sip your beverage quietly and let this pass for the sake of my party. </em></p><p><em>Did you know?</em> I asked, looking at my glass as if the contents were fascinating. <em>Tell me you did not know that I’d be trapped in this room with this bitch all night. </em></p><p><em>I didn’t,</em> she said quickly. <em>I assume this is Josie’s doing- you know how the woman hates to be impolite. </em></p><p><em>Fuck being polite,</em> I hissed, refilling my glass and downing it in practically one gulp- the combination of booze and energy was amazing for me, and I did it once again for good measure, making my head swim in the process. <em>She’s got one time to come for me and I’m sending Grace after her.</em></p><p>“So,” Josie said brightly, rubbing her hands together as she placed a large box on the table. “Dear Sam, can you tell us what we should do first? I brought a collection of cosmetics for the celebration- I hear we are to use them to paint each other’s faces!” She gave a happy chirp and looked over at Leliana, who was arranging sandwiches near the cheese and pizza. “This is so exciting! I’ve never seen a movie before- what is it like?”</p><p>“Well, you’re in luck,” Grace said, stopping me before I could say a word. “My son is the tinkerer extraordinaire- he made a mini-projector so we could watch movies together at home.” She took my phone and slid it into a small box, then pressed a button. Instantly, my phone screen bloomed bright on the wall, showing the contents of the home screen for all to see, much to the amazement of the four newcomers. Lana looked at me with a smile, and I found myself feeling quite proud that stuff from my world was now old hat for her. “So, what’s on the agenda for the night, Squeak?”</p><p>“I have the perfect one,” I said quickly, not wanting to give anything away too soon. “Tonight, we’re going to play music, watch movies, drink ourselves stupid, braid each other’s hair,” at that, I looked over at Vivienne and her close-cropped head, then shrugged, “-well, if you have hair,” I said quickly. “Then, we’re going to eat snacks, talk mad shit, paint the fuck out of our faces, take pictures, and hope we make it to a bed or a blanket before we pass out.” I looked over at Grace, who was trying not to laugh as she hobbled to the snack table. “That sound about right?”</p><p>“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” she agreed. “Lana Banana, how does that sound to you? It is your party, after all.”</p><p>Lana looked over at me, then hugged me. <em>Thank you,</em> she said in my head. <em>This night means a lot to me.</em>  “Sounds perfect,” she agreed. “Spending a glorious night with no responsibilities surrounded by family and friends? I could ask for no greater gift,” she whispered as she looked around the room. “Thank you, each and every one of you.”</p><p>Leliana walked over, giving her a big hug. “This, dear friend, is nothing- you deserve it all and so much more. I’m just happy I get the chance to share it with two of my oldest friends.” Then she looked over at Grace, raising a slim hand clutching a glass of punch in the air. “And I am thankful for the chance to make new ones.”</p><p>Grace raised her glass in return and smiled, then downed the contents in one shot. “Well, enough of this sappy shit,” she said, standing up and placing her phone on the table. She bent over and started fiddling with the screen, opening her music library and settling on a playlist. “Lana, you know the deal,” she said with a grin. “Silence this room and let’s get this goddamn party started!"</p><p>“But of course,” Lana replied. Soon, the sounds of ’Single Ladies’ filled the air, and I started to forget about our interloper and focused on dancing and humming along to the music, making Lana shake her head and smile brightly. "I do believe we're ready, Sam."</p><p>“Then ladies,” I said with a flourish, arms open wide, “the first-ever Inquisition sleepover has officially begun!"</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Cullen had no idea how he’d gotten roped into hosting a party for Alistair, but as he found himself racing around Skyhold with Dorian, it was becoming more and more apparent that he was partially responsible for the festivities that evening- he groaned as Grace handed them a jug of liquor and slammed the door in their faces. “Dorian, remind me again why I’m involved in these shenanigans when this was all Hawke’s idea to begin with?” He let out a sigh, then looked longingly across the yard at his quarters. “Doesn’t John need someone to watch the children? I’m sure they wouldn’t mind spending the evening with their uncle.”</p><p>Dorian clucked his tongue at him, holding one of the small cakes Sam had begrudgingly given them. “Oh my dear commander, I’m afraid that excuse won’t work this time- Will’s mother has graciously agreed to host Shaun and Jenny for the evening since that gargantuan Mabari of Lana’s is occupying the tiny one. And I require your services in getting things done, as no one is inclined to tell you no.” The mage patted him on the arm. “Cheer up, friend- this will be fun. Plus, your attendance means that the women were willing to provide us with decent libations and confections instead of the swill they serve down there- I’d say that alone was worth it.”</p><p>Staring at the bottle in his hands as they walked into the Herald’s Rest, he frowned. “Do you really think they have succeeded in drinking a container of this already?” </p><p>“If Sunshine is involved,” John said as he approached the tavern, “then they’ve probably already gone through at least two of those.” He gave a tip of his odd hat to Dorian, giving the mage a wink as he held open the door. “I’m surprised she let you take that away from her.” </p><p>“Only with the promise we return the bottle so your sister can refill it,” Dorian replied as he patted John politely on the shoulder. “To be fair, they looked a little sauced already- even Josie seemed rather out of sorts.” </p><p>“I shudder to think what’s going on in there,” Cullen replied. “All I could hear was music and giggling from a bunch of grown women, not to mention Sam and Vivienne were in the same room and no blood was being shed- it was rather terrifying.”</p><p>“Liquor will do that,” John replied as he helped Bull push some tables together, then headed over to get some mugs from the bar. “So, where’s the Golden Boy?” </p><p>Cullen shrugged. “No idea. He and Hawke are nowhere to be found, but seeing as this is their foolish idea, I imagine they’ll be along shortly.” He looked over at the table and sighed, putting his head in his hands as Dorian sat a glass of ale in front of him. “I’m starting to think I’d rather be at home.”</p><p>“That’s because you’re a lovesick puppy my cousin has wrapped around her finger,” Hawke replied as he walked in with Varric and Cole. “Sorry I’m late- had to get the Kirkwall Crew… and a guest.” Varric and Cole moved, only to reveal a tall, blond elf grinning at everyone. “I figured we couldn’t let those two get married without this one there.”</p><p>“Zevran!” Cullen exclaimed, hopping out of his seat to give the elf a tight hug. “I can’t believe you made it!”</p><p>“But of course,” the elf replied, giving him a wide smile and taking the seat next to him. “How could I let our dear Lana get married to our young warden without my presence gracing their nuptials? When I got the message from our feathered friend, I simply had to stop by.” He looked around at everyone and let out a laugh. “It appears Team Mage has grown decidedly larger since our travels, dear Templar.”</p><p>Cullen shook his head. “No longer a Templar, as I’m sure you already know, you devious twit,” he said with a grin. “Just a devoted husband and the commander of the Inquisition forces, if you please.” Looking over at the man he hadn’t seen in years, he laughed and took a sip of his ale, placing another glass in front of Zevran. “Does Ali know you’ve arrived.”</p><p>“My dear friend, what kind of spy would I be if I telegraphed my movements?” Zevran replied with a smirk. “I figured the surprise would be delicious for them both. Only Sam, Leli, and this lot know.” He looked over at John, Dorian, and Bull then sipped his beverage. “And who are our newest members?”</p><p>“This is my friend, Dorian Pavus, my brother-in-law, John Hancock, and The Iron Bull, leader of Bull’s Chargers,” he replied, pointing to each of them in turn. “Everyone, this is Zevran Araini, the worst lockpick I’ve ever seen and one of the best traveling companions I could have had.” </p><p>“Pleasure,” Bull said, taking Zev’s hand and shaking it. As Zevran smiled languidly at the Quinari, Cullen couldn’t help but notice a slight glower cross Dorian’s face, and he had to take another sip of his drink to stop himself from saying something that might embarrass his friend. Instead, he chose to clear his throat, causing Bull to let Zevran’s hand go and take a seat next to Dorian. “So, you wouldn’t happen to be the Antivan Crow that Squirt and Boss were talking about, would you?”</p><p>“Guilty,” he replied, taking a sip of his drink. “I spent a lovely year of my life with those beautiful sisters, fending off attacks, blood mages, demons, and dragons.” He let out a wistful sigh, then rested his head in his hands. “Ah, those were fine days indeed.”</p><p>“Y’all make no goddamn sense out here,” John muttered under his breath, taking a glass of ale and chugging it down. Grimacing, he replaced his glass on the counter and poured a bit of the liquor in the glass. “Yo, Pavus, can you help me out with some ice?” </p><p>“I am not your personal ice maker, John,” Dorian huffed, but he filled the glass with an ice ball anyway. “What is that beverage, anyway?” </p><p>“Rum, otherwise known as real fucking liquor,” he replied, taking a sip and closing his eyes. “That is the best fucking drink I’ve had since I’ve been here.” He stared at the glass, rolling the amber beverage around and watching it coat the sides. “Granted, I’d rather have whiskey, but beggars can’t be choosers.”</p><p>“Then give me that,” Dorian said quickly, filling his glass with ice and pouring some rum into the glass. He sputtered a bit after taking a sip of his drink, but then his eyes widened and he stared at the glass in his hand. “She’s leaving <em>that</em> with us,” he replied quickly. “In fact, I think I’m going back up there to have Sparrow make us another.” </p><p>“Hey!" A voice called out from the doorway. "Did you lot start my own party without me?” Alistair teased as he entered the bar with Blackwall and Solas. “All I did was recruit a few more people and you guys start drinking without me!”</p><p>“We had a surprise guest,” Cullen replied, moving so Ali could see the elf sitting next to him. “Figured it was only right to offer this man a drink.”</p><p>When Ali noticed Zevran his eyes went wide, then a huge grin broke out across his face. “You magnificent bastard!” Ali yelled, running over and hugging the elf. “I can’t believe you came!” </p><p>“As I told our former templar, I couldn’t let the union of my two favorite people go uncelebrated,” he replied with a grin. “This celebration is well-earned, dear friend.”</p><p>"That it is," Ali said happily. “Well," he remarked, rubbing his hands together, "it looks as if everyone is here! Rutherford, drinks for all, if you please!"</p><p>Cullen started to complain, but when he saw Alistair look around the room with such joy, Cullen instantly forgot his misgivings about the evening. He might grouse and grumble, but Alistair was his brother and he deserved to be happy- seeing him like this was worth the minor inconvenience of putting him up for the night, so he got up and grabbed glasses for everyone, pouring a bit of the rum into everyone’s glass. “To Alistair,” he said, raising his glass and waiting for the others to do the same. “My oldest friend and brother, may your upcoming days be filled with enough joy and happiness to make everything else seem like a dream.” </p><p>“To Alistair,” they all said, clinking their glasses and drinking their beverages. Solas and Cole winced at the liquor, but everyone else drank theirs with approval, then migrated to get something to eat, milling around and starting random conversations amongst themselves. Soon, the bar became a flurry of activity and voices and Cullen settled into the corner, watching as everyone stopped to congratulate or tease the groom-to-be, who had a smile a mile wide affixed to his face.</p><p>After a few minutes, the future groom walked over to stand next to Cullen, two slices of cake in his hands. "Figured you could use some before this lot ate it all."</p><p>"Much obliged." Cullen smiled as he took the confection, then leaned against a post as he watched Zevran and Hawke challenge each other to an arm-wrestling contest. "Having fun?"</p><p>"Very much so," Ali said with a grin, shoveling a hunk of cake in his mouth. “I take it that all of this is your doing, Rutherford?”</p><p>“I suppose- the liquor is technically from Grace, but it was Sam’s promise to refill it that convinced her to let it go,” Cullen replied as he ate his cake, watching as Bull and Dorian chatted without any of the venomous barbs the mage usually slung toward the Quinari. “She wasn’t going to let you have a shoddy celebration, you know. All I did was ask her to supply things so you wouldn’t bemoan your lack of involvement in their festivities."</p><p>“Oh come off it,” Ali said lightly, jostling him with his arm. “You know you wanted to make sure I had a decent party,” he teased. “Admit it and I promise I won’t tell anyone that my brother actually has a heart inside of that metal casing.” </p><p>In response, Cullen rolled his eyes at Alistair, then smirked as he raised a single finger to his lips. </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“Oh no!” Cass said, staring at the screen in rapture, “Elizabeth will not give in to the ways of Jack Sparrow, will she?” She turned to Sam, her eyes wide as she held a drink tightly in her hand. “Her true love is Will Turner- she cannot give in to his dashing pirate charms!” </p><p>Lana did her best to bite back a smile. As soon as the charismatic pirate swaggered on the screen, she was instantly reminded of all those years ago when she’d met Isabela- this was undoubtedly the man that Sam was referring to. “Hush, Sam," Lana chided. "Cass is just mad that she can’t race to the end like she would one of her books.”</p><p>“Well, actually,” Sam started to say, but Lana gave her a look and she smiled, going back to her food with nary a word. As Lana continued to sip her drink, she secretly started to wonder if her elder sister was secretly an alchemist, for her intoxicating potions had done wonders for the mood in the room. Surprisingly, even Vivienne had been somewhat pleasant this evening- she’d only gotten a warning look from Grace once when she suggested that Sam’s pastries may well be sufficient for presentation at the celebration, and when Grace’s face had started to darken, Lana quickly jumped in. She informed the enchanter that no one else could make the cake of her dreams but her sister, as the materials were only available in her bag, and Vivienne gave a slight nod. The only response Grace had given was a soft snort, but no blows were tossed and the evening continued uneventfully. </p><p>As the others continued to watch the film Lana felt a soft tap on her shoulder and she rolled over, seeing Leliana staring at her with a soft smile. “Thank you for indulging Josie this evening,” she whispered, looking over at the ambassador currently putting braids in Grace’s curly hair. "She only wanted to be nice- you know how she hates being put in the middle of a difficult spot.” </p><p>Lana nodded, watching over the room and sipping her drink as they leaned against the bed. “I know. I’m just surprised you didn’t invite Morrigan, though she’d never admit to wanting to do something as inane as having fun with us.”</p><p>“Oh, I tried,” Leli trilled softly. “All I got in return was a disdainful sniff and a swish of her skirts as she rebuffed me- it made me nostalgic for our previous travels.” Lana laughed, but Leliana just smiled and continued, "However,” she said with a nod toward the window, “it would appear that we’ve had company this evening regardless.” </p><p>Lana glanced over at the windowsill, only to see a small black raven sitting and watching the screen with fascination. “Would this be why you sat a slice of cake on the ledge?” When Leli nodded, Lana let out a soft chuckle. “I thought it was simply one of your messengers you decided to reward with a treat.” </p><p>She laughed, glancing into the room at Sam, who was trying to furtively whisper in Cassandra’s ear. “No… I know all my birds, my friend. And this one seemed particularly curious about the happenings in here tonight… much like someone we used to know.” Leliana turned to her, her blue eyes glassy with drink but still sharp and deadly. “But, now that you know, what do you wish me to do about it?"</p><p>Lana thought about it for a moment, then sighed, leaning her head on her friend’s shoulder. “Not a thing, dear Leli- it’s fitting that everyone should be here to celebrate in their own way. For an event I thought would never come to pass, it’s turning out to be a rather spectacular occasion.” </p><p>Leliana laughed as she hugged Lana to her side. “This is quite the inverse of the last time we embraced on the eve of an important event, is it not?”</p><p>“Agreed- I much prefer this one, as it's filled with friends and tears of laughter,” Lana agreed, remembering that evening in Redcliffe all those years ago. “And I love you just as much now as I did back then, Leliana.” </p><p>“I should hope a bit more so,” she replied with a laugh, earning her a small pinch in the arm from Lana. “One thinks that my dedication to you over a decade would count for something.”</p><p>“Oh, I think you squandered most of that goodwill when you tried to murder me,” Lana teased, making Leli roll her eyes. “I was a bit put out by that, you know.”</p><p>“It was a tense situation,” Leliana replied with a smile, pinching Lana back and making her giggle. Sam glanced over at the noise, but simply smiled and said nothing, leaving the two of them to their conversation. “And as I recall,” the bard continued, "you never were all that bothered by a few murder attempts amongst friends.” </p><p>“If I were, I probably wouldn’t have that many friends in the first place,” Lana agreed. “Is it terrible that I don’t know what that says about me?” </p><p>“It just means that you are as forgiving as you are loved,” she said simply. “Once you get the pleasure of your friendship, you can't bear to have a world where you are not a part of it,” Leli said quietly. “Anyone who meets you knows this to be fact.” </p><p>At that, Lana got up, walking to the window and resting against it, being careful to make sure the tiny bird could still see inside. “I’m sorry,” she said softly, “for everything.” Lana shook her head, then gazed around the room at all the happy women. “But I don’t know if I would have had a life like this if things were different… and based on the joy I feel right now, I don’t think I’d want it any other way.”</p><p>Then Lana leaned down, careful to make sure that the bird could hear her next words. “However,  I think we are still short a person at this gathering.” She glanced down at the raven, who gave a soft caw as it turned away. “I do wish they could be with us this time- if I’ve learned nothing else, I’ve learned that friends do not abandon each other, no matter how bleak things seem.” She looked at the bird, who was now staring out over the ramparts, preparing to hop away. Seeing its tension, Lana quickly continued. “But I’ve also learned that sometimes, even when we do things we think are unforgivable, the ones we love eventually welcome us back if we truly seek redemption.”</p><p>When she finished the bird flew away, and Lana let out a sad sigh- she’d tried her best to make amends, and yet again the witch rebuffed her. <em>Oh well</em>, she thought,<em> it’s Morrigan- it’s not as if this is anything new</em>. Shaking off her sense of disappointment, she turned to her friends, who were finishing up with the movie. “All right,” she said cheerily, “what’s next on this bridal party agenda, dear Sam?”</p><p>“Well, I think it’s time for games,” Sam replied with a twinkle in her eye. “And the ones we used to have for bachelorette parties were a mess, from what I hear.” She paused, then gave Lana a wicked grin that made her roll her eyes but secretly jump for joy in anticipation. “You ready for this, Lana Banana?”</p><p>“Born ready,” Lana replied, just as there was a soft knock at the door. Hoping the guest was who she thought it might be, she turned to Leliana, who nodded and hopped off the bed, softly padding toward the entryway. “But before we do, we should wait a moment- I think someone may be joining our party."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“So,” Hawke said as he downed another glass of rum, “does anyone have any advice for this poor soul as he joins the ranks of our glorious family?” He gave Alistair a small shake of his head. “Maker knows why you’ve waited this long, but who am I to comment?”</p><p>“Yeah, especially since you’re currently canoodling with the most wanted man in Thedas,” Cullen muttered under his breath, sipping his drink. “Maker’s breath, Alistair, the only thing you need to do is exactly what you’ve been doing.” Then he paused, putting down his mug for a moment. “Wait, I take that back- there is one thing you may do well to remember.”</p><p>“What is it?” Alistair asked, staring at him with interest. “I’m listening- if there is a secret that you have that's kept Sparrow from shoving you out the window all these years, then I’m all ears.” </p><p>Cullen looked thoughtful, then stared around the tavern. “I suppose there is,” he replied. “The one thing I’ve constantly had to learn was that the things that made me fall in love with Samantha were the same things that irritate me as her husband.” John chuckled as he sipped his drink, earning him a nod from the curly-haired blonde man. “Lana is a force to be reckoned with,” the commander said, earning him a cheer from the others in the bar. “Respect that and don’t try to change it, Alistair- just cherish the fact that no matter what happens out there, she’s fighting to come home to you.” </p><p>“Surprisingly well said, Curly,” Varric replied, nodding in approval. “Took you long enough to learn that.” Cullen scowled at the dwarf, earning him a laugh from the consummate storyteller. “I haven’t known Hero as long as this lot,” he said, gesturing to Cullen and Zevran, “but I have known you for a minute, Cheesy… and I gotta say, you are without a doubt the most devoted man I’ve ever seen. There’s no one more deserving of this moment, so now that you’ve got her, stay that way… she’s a tough one, but she’s got a heart underneath all that bluster, so treat her like it. Surprise her now and again… bring her flowers-“ </p><p>Alistair cut him off with a laugh. “Varric, I think I can say with confidence that I’ve got the flowers well in hand already.” </p><p>Varric rolled his eyes, but Cole piped up. “Vibrant, plucked long ago from a bush filled with death, handed to his heart when all seemed lost. Hidden in a box and kept in bloom by the magic of another it sleeps, waiting to be in her hands once again.”<br/>
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The warden looked at the boy, then blinked. “Well… <em>yeah</em>, but it was kind of supposed to be a surprise, Cole- don’t go telling Lana that, ok?” </p><p>Cullen frowned. “Is that what you and Sam were hiding in my footlocker?” When Alistair gave him a wide grin, Cullen just gave an exasperated sigh. “You two are going to be the death of me, I swear.” Then he turned to John, who had been quiet the entire time. “What of you, brother? You’ve been married nearly as long as I have- what advice have you for the idiot over here?”</p><p>John took out a Mentat from the case and thought about it for a moment. Seeing all these people gathered in one place to celebrate made him marvel at how alike all three girls were. No matter the time, place, or circumstances, these women that brought them all together inspired nations- what possible advice could he have to complement something like that?</p><p>But as he mulled the thought over in his head John relaxed, turning to the men that were waiting for his answer. “I got nothin’, cause you’re doin’ it already. Accept her family, even though they’re weird as fuck,” he said with a laugh, pointing at himself. “But, if I have to say something, I guess it’d be always stand by her side- you never want her to wonder if you’re going to be there for her.” He thought about his wife for a moment and he smiled, fingering the rim of his glass absentmindedly. “I’ve followed Sunshine through hell and back, and there ain’t a single bit I’d ever take back- without her, my world ain’t shit.”</p><p>He raised his head and smiled at Ali. “And I’ve seen the way you look at Lana- you’re the same way. So like I said, I got nothin’, cause you’re already there, kid. All this hoopla we’re about to do,” he waved his hand around, gesturing to the festivities taking place around him, “is bullshit, cause you’ve always been hers and you didn’t need some fucking ceremony to tell you that.” The others were silent, so he cleared his throat and settled back into his seat. "So just sit back and enjoy the fact that you get the chance to show the whole world what you were lucky enough to know the whole damn time.” </p><p>Dorian sipped his drink, then gave John an approving look. “Quite eloquent and crass at the same time- politics in your world must be quite interesting, John.” </p><p>He gave the mage a shrug. “What can I say? I see things and tell it like it is,” he replied, darting his eyes to the large man sitting nearby shooting glances at the dark-skinned man. “I’m all about taking chances- worst that can happen is I get told no, right? Seems like it's worked out ok for me so far if someone with a mug this ugly could tie Sunshine down.” At that, Solas gave him a curious look but didn’t say anything, so John just shrugged and sipped from his glass while the others went back to their celebrations. “I’ll be back,” he said to Cullen, who was talking with Varric and Zevran- when his brother-in-law gave him a slight incline of his head to let him know he’d heard him, John pushed his chair out and got up to leave. “Got a minute to walk wit’ me, Dorian?” </p><p>“Of course,” he replied. “Wait, it doesn’t involve getting your children, does it?” Dorian gave a slight shudder. “I apologize if that’s offensive- I mean, I appreciate them from afar, but direct interaction with the tiny humans is decidedly not my forte.”</p><p>The man looked so tortured that John couldn’t do anything but laugh. “No kids involved- just wanna get something from my room and I could use the company. So, how ‘bout it? You up for a stroll?”</p><p>“Ah,” Dorian replied, looking much more at ease. “In that case, I’d be happy to accompany you.” He got up, following him out of the tavern and into the cool night air. “So,” he said after a moment as they headed toward his quarters, “what are you heading off to get? Is it more of your off-world spirits?”</p><p>“Nah,” he replied as they entered his room. “Cigarettes. I’ve been dyin’ for a smoke for the last few hours. Figured you and Ali would be the only ones who wouldn’t look at me like I kicked a puppy or grew three heads if I pulled one out.” The mage nodded at him as he rifled through the trunk, and John let out a happy sigh of relief when his hand closed around the packet. “Fina-fucking-ly,” he breathed, staring at the pack. “I’ve wanted one of these for a minute.” He stepped out on the balcony, then handed the mage his flask as he took out a cigarette. “Mind if I trouble you for a light?” John asked, gesturing to Dorian’s fingertips. “Also, I gotta confess that I left my lighter at home, so I kinda needed one of you with the magic fingers to gimme a flame so I could light it.” </p><p>Dorian let out a laugh, then created a small ball of flame with his fingers that John used to light his cigarette, taking a deep inhale and letting the nicotine wash over him before blowing out a smoke ring. “You’re fucking amazing,” he replied. “Again, I think we need to take you home with us.”</p><p>“Hardly,” Dorian replied as he took a swig from the flask, then looked at it approvingly. “Though I must say, the quality of your spirits is proving to make your offer quite tempting.” Then he leaned against the railing, his eyes darting over John’s face. “Out with it, John- I’ve seen the way you work. You’ve got something on your mind, don’t you?” </p><p>“Well ain’t you just the observant one,” John said mildly, taking a puff of his cigarette and watching the embers creep up the shaft. “Guess I’ll get right to it then. Figured I’d pull you away and keep this between us, though I reckon Rutherford already sees one of the things I’m seein'.” </p><p>“And what, pray tell would that be,” Dorian asked, looking at him with a curious smirk. “Do you see things like your sister-in-law? Are you getting visions around my destiny as well?”</p><p>John laughed, then shook his head. “Nothing that grand- I see people, just like Sunshine does. You learn to read folks pretty fucking well when everyone wants to shoot you at a moment’s notice. “Two things- one, what’s up with the egg?”</p><p>“Who? Solas?” When John nodded, Dorian frowned. “To be honest, I barely know him,” he replied thoughtfully. “Always seems nice enough, but never really hangs around with anyone. Why? What makes you bring it up?”</p><p>“First, he left my goddamn wife out there,” John said, feeling his face darken. “They asked him to go with them to help keep them safe, and he bounces without a word as soon as he doesn’t like what happened?” He shook his head angrily, then took another drag to calm himself down. “He’s lucky her sis was around, cause if she wasn't you’d still be diggin’ my foot out of his ass right about now.” Dorian just smirked, which made John let out a deep breath. “Family don’t do that kind of shit.. which brings me to my next point.”</p><p>John could tell that now Dorian was really curious- the mage leaned against the railing and stared at him. “Which is?”</p><p>John aimed his cigarette at him. “I don’t trust him… and you guys should keep an eye on that one. I’m not telling Ali this cause it’s his day and Squeak's too soft, so I’m tellin’ you, Pavus- something’s up with him.” </p><p>Dorian gave him a nervous chuckle. “John, I appreciate your levels of concern for your sisters, but I have to ask- was it just this that brought that on? I hardly think that one incident is indicative of the man’s character- he’s saved their lives quite a few times if I recall correctly.”</p><p>“That may be true, but I know people, Dorian,” John said quickly. “You can do a good turn for someone and still have your own agenda. Hell, one of the people at home would try to steal my wife from under my nose if he thought he could get away with it and not get a face full of lead in the process- doesn’t make him any less useful or helpful. Don’t conflate help for friendship- it ain’t good for your life expectancy.”</p><p>“I hear what you’re saying,” Dorian said slowly, “but I also get the feeling that there’s more to this than you’re telling me, John.”</p><p>“Yep,” he said, finishing his cigarette and stubbing it out beneath his shoe. “He ain’t family and I know it.” Dorian gave him a questioning look, but John just stared back- he wasn’t in the habit of spouting off what he didn’t know and he didn’t have any intentions of starting now, particularly when his family was involved. “You know about their mom, right?” </p><p>“Very scary woman? Looks like them, talks in useless riddles, and wields an inordinate amount of magic?” Dorian asked dryly. When John nodded, Dorian sighed. “Then yes, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting her,” he replied. “What of it?"</p><p>“Well, she cast some hocus pocus on me before I left- said family would see the real me, but everyone else would see the old me.” He looked over at the mage and gestured to his face. “I assume you see the scars, right?” </p><p>“And the lack of a nose, if we’re pointing out obvious things,” Dorian replied, making John laugh. “No one else minded, so I figured it just was what it was," Dorian said with a shrug, taking a sip from the flask. "People were up in arms about me being from Tevinter, so I figured it certainly wasn’t my place to give you grief over something you obviously couldn’t control.”</p><p>“And that’s why you’re family,” John replied. “But Solas? He ain’t family and I can tell... ‘cause he sees me as human.” When Dorian’s eyes widened with understanding, John just nodded. “So, watch that one, ok? We’re leaving soon, and I ain’t gonna be around to take care of them… but I trust my brothers and I trust you, Pavus- I need you to guys to keep my family safe.” </p><p>“I’m honored,” Dorian said, without a hint of sarcasm in his voice. He turned around to stare out over the ramparts, then turned back to John. “Wait, that’s one thing. Granted, one heavy thing, but one thing nonetheless. What was the second thing you wanted to discuss?”</p><p>“Oh that,” John said with a smile. “So, you gonna handle that thing with you and Bull or what?” At that, Dorian jerked his head up and looked as if John had stuck him with a red-hot poker- and he laughed, flinging the ashes of his cigarette on the ground. “Oh come the fuck on… anyone wit’ eyes can see that the two of you have been in the sack together, and you damn near lit the new guy on fire when he was flirtin’ earlier. Rutherford saw it too, and if that man took notice, you <em>know</em> it’s obvious.” He reached for his flask, but Dorian had it tilted into his mouth and was rapidly draining the contents. “Drinkin’ the last of my whiskey ain’t gonna change things- you want that man... any idiot can see it.”</p><p>“Then it appears I’m fucked,” Dorian replied as he folded his arms and leaned over the railing, staring at his hands. “Completely and utterly fucked.” </p>
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<a name="section0038"><h2>38. I should've done this long ago</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alistair and Lana fulfill a dream from long ago</p>
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<hr/><p>Way too early in the morning, Ali and Dorian were peering over my shoulder as I worked to make a usable frosting for the cake. “How do you do that?” Dorian asked, reaching his finger toward the frosting. Instantly, I froze my hungry friend for a moment, moving the bowl just out of his reach before he contaminated the whole batch of frosting. “Don’t <em>do</em> that!” I admonished, swatting him on the hand and handing them each a spoon, which they each began to lick greedily. “I swear, you two are worse than kids!” </p><p>“I’m providing you with much-needed input,” Ali replied, sticking the entire spoon in his mouth and moaning with joy. “Maker, that is delicious,” he replied happily. “Now, how are you going to make this cake out of those Oreos of yours?”</p><p>“By being a very exhausted person,” I complained. “Do you know how many packages of Oreos I needed to create to make this fucker?” I pointed to the bowl and snarled as he took one of my hard-won cookies from it. “My ring is practically black from this shit, guys- I’ve been creating candies all morning for this fucking cake. By the way,” I added, shaking the spoon at Ali, “baking in this weird-ass oven has been the bane of my existence. I’ve been pausing and rewinding time so much I have no idea what time of day it is anymore.” I huffed and wiped my face, getting a streak of frosting on my head and making the two of them titter at me. “You’re lucky I love the hell out of you two, cause I’m never doing this again.” </p><p>Ali reached over and grabbed the mixing bowl, swirling his finger around it and collecting the leftovers. “My goodness, it tastes like one of the cookies!” He grinned at me again, then handed the bowl to Dorian, who took a taste and nodded with approval. “I don’t care what you say, Sparrow- this is the work of magic.” </p><p>“No, just a dad who really loves his baked goods,” a voice said from behind us. Laughing, I turned around and saw John and Cullen leaning against the windowsill with amused smiles on their faces. “Never thought I’d see the day someone domesticated you, Squeak.” </p><p>“Call me that one more time and I’m going to bake <em>you</em> into a pie, John,” I warned, brandishing a long wooden spoon at him. “Trust me, this oven is really big- you’ll fit.” </p><p>“It’ll just add to my sexy,” he replied, making me roll my eyes. “But,” he said, pointing to my face, “you got a little something on your face, sis.” </p><p>Cullen peered at me and laughed, beckoning for me to come over. When I did, he kissed the leftover frosting off my nose. “Now why is it that I was never the recipient of your baking prowess, dear wife?” </p><p>“Because you were always too busy to eat,” I retorted, kissing him back and ignoring the gagging sounds John was making next to me. “Oh I know you aren’t talking- with as much as you and GraceFace are always making out, this is chaste,” I snapped, sticking my tongue out at him. “Bite me, John.”</p><p>“Nah, I’d rather bite Sunshine,” he said with a wink. “Besides, I hear Rutherford has that covered, weirdo.” </p><p>Blushing and vowing to destroy whoever told him that story, I whacked him with a nearby towel. “Remind me why I saved you again?” I said with a sigh, rolling my eyes as I went back to my frosting, eyes widening as I saw Ali and Dorian in my cookies. “Get out of that, you goddamn vultures!” I reached over and thwacked both of them with the spoon I was holding. “Why the fuck are you two even in here!” </p><p>“Unlike him, I am useful,” Dorian replied, pointing at the cake on the side of the room. “I chilled your large confection, remember?”</p><p>“Well, I hope this event is small, cause I ain’t baking anything else,” I said angrily. “Whoever doesn’t get any is just shit outta luck. Hope they like whatever other weird shit they decide to serve up.” I looked at the large cake and sighed. “While I have to thank Seggritt for making me this big ass cake pan, I’m really sad that I still have to frost and decorate this monstrosity- in my world, people charge for this kind of thing, you know."</p><p>“Not our fault no one here knows what your cookies or candies are,” Ali replied as he snuck another M&amp;M from the bowl. I sighed, using the dregs of my energy to replace what I knew the two idiots had eaten. “But I love you for it, dear sister,” he said as he pulled me in for a one-armed hug. “Thank you for making Lana's dream come true- she’s going to be beside herself when she sees this.”</p><p>Looking out at the massive cake in front of me and the daunting amount of work left to do, I turned to the men in the kitchen. “Look, I hate to ask, but-“ </p><p>“Don’t worry about it,” John said, rolling up his sleeves and hopping over the windowsill, landing gracefully in the kitchen as if he did this sort of thing all the time. “I gotcha, Squeak- whatcha need me to do?”</p><p>Ali stared at him in shock. “You know how to do this sort of thing too, John?” </p><p>John nodded. “I got kids, Ali. Hell, I’m not letting my wife kill ‘em trying to make a birthday cake- someone had to learn, so I got the job.”</p><p>“His cake was pretty damn good, too,” I admitted. "I had no idea what the hell a muttfruit was, but he made it taste pretty good. Everyone seemed happy with it, so I considered it a win.” I looked at my brother-in-law with a thankful smile as I crushed up more Oreos, but he just shook his head while he washed his hands. Admittedly, the mini hand washing station drew me a couple of weird looks, but I was damned if anyone was poisoning my family at her wedding because someone decided to scratch their ass while cooking. “I could really use the help- this big ass cake needs to be frosted… and it needs to be covered in M&amp;M's.”</p><p>John looked at the cake, then at the vat of M&amp;Ms, then back at the cake before staring at me like I had lost my mind. “Are you fucking serious? That’s a big ass cake, Squeak! Ain’t that party tonight?”</p><p>“It is and yes, I know I’m screwed. Blame physics and chemistry- the oven wasn’t cooperating. My small-scale tests were fine- this one just went all kind of sideways, so between that and these two bastards eating my materials, I’m a bit fucked."</p><p>“Guess you’ll need more help,” Ali said, staring at Dorian. When Dorian didn’t move, the warden glared at him and inclined his head at the cake, causing the mage to let out an agitated sigh and nod. “We’re happy to help, Sparrow," Ali replied, ignoring the small huffs from the Altus. "Just tell us what you want us to do.”</p><p>Breathing a sigh of relief, I looked at my friends, then smiled even wider as my husband entered the kitchen. “Okay,” I said, clapping my hands together at my impromptu crew, “let’s get this behemoth together- Thedas is not ready for a cake this awesome, guys.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“I- can’t-<em>OOF</em>- breathe, Leli!” Lana hissed as her friend shoved her knee in her back, tightening up the strings of the accursed corset. “Maker’s breath, <em>must</em> we go through all of this- it’s a wedding, not a torture session!”</p><p>“You-“ Leli let out a soft grunt as she braced herself against the bedpost, trying to get some leverage while she manhandled her best friend. “-need to be-“ she stopped for a blessed moment and Lana took a relieved breath, only to have the wind knocked out of her when the spymaster jerked her backward, “-absolutely breathtaking today!”</p><p>“Then mission fucking accomplished, cause I don’t think my sis has any breath left in her,” Grace said from her perch in the corner. “I’m pretty sure you can lighten up, Leliana- Lana looks like her stomach just moved into her throat.”</p><p>“<em>Thank you,</em>” Lana wheezed. “I cannot breathe in this thing!”</p><p> She glared at Leliana, who was standing next to her as she looked over her handiwork. “I daresay that dress can still be laced tighter-“ </p><p>“Touch me again and I will call Sam to nug roast you,” Lana growled. “Speaking of Sam... where is that blasted girl, anyway?” Then she scowled at Grace, who was sitting in the cushy chair with a glass of juice, her foot propped up on a cushion. “Why aren’t the two of you being subjected to such misery? Sam didn’t go through such ministrations on her wedding day- did you?”</p><p>“Nope,” Grace said cheerily, sipping her drink. “But I wasn't the figurehead of an entire movement- I just led a teeny little revolution, so…” Her sister gave her a wide smile. “Looks like you get to have this covered for the both of us, sis.” Then she looked around and noticed the empty room. “We seem to have lost our whole squadron- what, did you drive them off by screaming your damn head off?” </p><p>Leliana laughed, gesturing for Lana to sit (which she did, painfully) in a chair so she could adjust the braids in her hair. “Josie is frantically puttering around in the hall in preparation, and Cassandra is barking Josie’s commands at anyone who has the misfortune of appearing not to listen. Lana knows more of Sam’s whereabouts, but she does need to come soon and apply your faces- it was her wish to do so, after all.”</p><p>Lana sighed as best she could, then reached out for her sister. <em>Sam</em>, she thought, <em>where are you? </em></p><p><em>I’m coming,</em> came the hurried reply. <em>I had to put the finishing touches on your cake- I swear, that thing is like diabetes on a plate, but it’s exactly what you asked for, Lana Banana.</em> She could hear her sister give an irritated little snort. <em>This dress sucks, Lana- I thought we’d get a pass on shitty bridesmaid dresses in Thedas.</em></p><p><em>If I’m suffering, you shall suffer as well, L</em>ana thought, wincing at the pain in her ribs. <em>I’m starting to wonder if these dresses are purposefully miserable so we are grateful to whomever we marry just for getting us out of them. </em></p><p>Sam gave a little huff as she appeared in the room with them, causing Grace to shake her head. “I have done my goddamn best to avoid being in a corset, and yet you rope us into wearing one today.” Then she looked at Lana's red face and laughed. "At least it doesn't look as painful as yours- Leli's a monster with those things."</p><p>“I dunno, Squeak,” Grace replied, gingerly standing up and running her hands down her hourglass shape. “I’m kinda feeling this look- I haven’t looked this good since before I had kids. Might have to take a few of these fuckers home with me.” </p><p>“And the radroaches would eat you alive while you were trying to figure out how to breathe,” Sam retorted as she walked over to the makeup case. Watching her sister hobble back to her seat, Sam frowned.”You sure you’re gonna be alright out there, GraceFace? You don’t look like you’re a-ok over there.”</p><p>Even though she earned a scowl from Leli, Lana turned to look at her sister, who did not, in fact, look fully healed. “I think we need to call Solas up here,” she said quickly, giving Grace an apologetic look. “I fear my skills as a healer seem to have left something to be desired.”</p><p>Grace just shrugged and took another sip of juice. “Meh, I’ll be fine- it’s not your fault I fell trying to pole dance with your staff,” she replied with a grin. “To be fair, it seemed like a good idea at the time.” </p><p>“How you are responsible for children is beyond me sometimes,” Sam groused. “Do you ever think more than ten seconds at a pop, Grace?” </p><p>“Only when it counts,” she said with a wink. “If I did it all the time, I’d be as boring as you, Squeak.” </p><p>At that, Sam gave an indigent squeak, making Leli and Lana chuckle- Grace just raised her glass. “And there you have it, folks- the reason for the moniker is clear at last.” She took a sip, then gave a tip of her imaginary hat. “You’re welcome.”</p><p>Though she was uncomfortable beyond belief, Lana felt a surge of warmth at being in the room with her best friend and sisters as she prepared to marry the love of her life. To be sure, there were still issues, and there were still many, many things that required her attention, but for today, she was able to just relax and enjoy herself. By this time tomorrow, she would be Solana Amell Roberts Theirin, and she couldn’t be happier about sharing this moment with her family and friends. “Sam,” Lana asked shakily, reaching for her sister’s hand, “can you believe that after all this time, we’re finally here?” </p><p>Sam just smiled as she continued to paint Lana’s face. “I still remember the day you met Ali,” she teased. “You damn near lost your mind around him.” Leliana let out a giggle, and Sam smirked, pausing for a moment to look back over at the other two women. “She wakes me up after being up all night then runs off to save him, because lord knows that boy can’t go five minutes without pissing someone off.” </p><p>“To be fair,” Lana replied with a grin as Sam applied color to her eyelids, “he was being yelled at by a particularly snippy mage- I wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to be zapped with a lightning bolt for his troubles.” </p><p>“Tell that story to someone who doesn’t know you,” Sam retorted with a grin. “I was there, remember- as soon as you got over to him, you started babbling like an idiot- it was almost sickening to watch how cute you two were about it.” She shook her head, then looked over at Leli. “Do you know how long we were all waiting on the two of you to just bone already?” </p><p>Lana let out a gasp just as Grace gave a hearty guffaw. “<em>Sam!</em> You did no such thing!” When Sam just gave her a look, Lana turned to Leli for support, only to find the spymaster innocently looking off into the distance. Frustrated, Lana crossed her arms and flopped back into her seat with a huff. “I see that I truly have no friends here.” Then she turned to look at Grace with a haughty look on her face. “Since you weren’t involved, I won’t lump you in with these two traitors, Grace- it appears that you, dear sister, are the only one I can trust.” </p><p>Lana tried her best not to smile as Grace raised her cup and Sam scowled and poked her in the side. “All right, if that’s how you want to play it," Sam grumbled, tossing a piece of candy in her mouth and sticking her tongue out at Lana, "I’m gonna pop out of this room, change out of this tight-ass dress, and then I’m gonna go tell Ali he can eat that whole big ass cake I spent all day making after a full night of drinking with your ass… since I’m a traitor and all.” </p><p>Laughing, Lana leaned over and wrapped an arm around Sam, placing a kiss on her cheek that left a bright pink stain. “Oh sister,” she said with a smile as Sam scowled and hugged her back, “you know I couldn’t do this without you there- who’d refill the candy trays for me?”</p><p>“I hate you so much, Lana Banana,” Sam muttered, placing a kiss on her cheek. “You’re lucky you’re cute today, you human trash disposal.” </p><p>“Love you too, Sam,” she replied, looking up at the girl who made her feel so loved that she could barely sit still. “And from the bottom of my wicked little heart,” she said, smiling at the three women that each held different parts of her, "know that I thank you all… for everything."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“What if I mess this up?” Alistair moaned, pacing back and forth in Dorian’s chambers. “What if I say the wrong thing? Or if I spill something on her? Or-“</p><p>“Would you bloody calm down?” Cullen said, rolling his eyes before crossing the room and placing a hand on Alistair’s shoulder. “For the love of all that is holy, it’s just Lana, Alistair- there is no need for this level of histrionics!” He looked over at John, who was sitting in the chair and staring at the two of them as if they had lost their minds. “And how can you remain so calm while this one brays his head off, dear brother?”</p><p>John gave Cullen a wink, then shrugged. “Drugs.” </p><p>“Fasta vass, this entire family is a bloody mess,” Dorian huffed. “Look,” he said, poking Alistair in the chest. “You will stop this incessant worrying at once- do I make myself clear? I have gotten you cleaned within an inch of your life, our dear commander has polished your armor to levels that one could practically consider blinding, and your brother…” he put his finger on his lips and looked over at John, who just smiled and gave him a jaunty wave. “Well, I’m actually not sure what your brother has been doing, if I’m to be honest.”</p><p>John gave Dorian a look. “Since you seem to have forgotten, John spent his whole goddamn morning helping Squeak frost that goddamn monstrosity of a cake while you two tried to eat every scrap that wasn’t nailed down,” John said drolly. “And now John is relaxing with his goddamn drugs while you all flap your gums.” He tipped his hat at the three of them, then pulled it over his eyes. “So there you go.”</p><p>Alistair just gave a strained laugh, then shook his head as the assassin chuckled at him, propping his feet up on a nearby table. “Zevran, what is your excuse? You’re looking almost as relaxed as my brother.” He glared at John for a moment. “Wait, you didn’t give him any of your poisons, did you?”</p><p>“Nope,” John said with a chuckle. “I don’t share if I can help it.” His brother-in-law rose from his seat, then stood in front of Alistair. “I was as nervous as you were,” he said with a laugh. “Take it from me, kid, you’re going to be fine. As soon as you see her, you’re going to forget why you were ever nervous about this and realize that this is the best goddamn day of your life.” John walked over to the door and opened it a crack, then turned back into the room. “Hey, Zev, you ready to do this? Looks like we’re almost up.”</p><p>“To escort one of the most deadly women in Thedas along the aisle?” Zevran purred. “Always. Perhaps I might have the chance to escort our wonderful spymaster to other places later... if she so desires.”</p><p>Alistair looked at Cullen, who just shrugged before looking back at the grinning elf. “Wait a <em>minute</em>,” he said, putting some pieces together, “did you and Leli…” his voice trailed off noncommittally, and when his friend just smiled, the warden put his head in his hands. “You can’t be serious,” Alistair exclaimed. “<em>How?</em> You were flirting with Lana and Sam every chance you got!”</p><p>Zevran just shrugged. “What can I say? I can partake in the pleasures of one while I appreciate the beauty of others- a true connoisseur endeavors to sample as much of life as possible.” The elf gave Cullen a wink, and the Commander rolled his eyes in response. “But alas, my darling sisters only had eyes for these two dashing young men… and they were never willing to share.”</p><p>John cocked a thumb at the elf winked at them as he headed out the door. When the assassin had left, John looked over at Cullen. “He for real?”</p><p>Alistair sighed. “Unfortunately. Cullen and I have been propositioned more times than I care to remember.” He was about to say something else, but then he realized for the first time since he’d gotten dressed, he finally felt calm again. Alistair looked over at the faces of his friends, both old and new, waiting to see him embark on his new path and realized that they were right- there truly was nothing to worry about. </p><p>Soon, he felt a tingling in his head and the warden closed his eyes. <em>Yes, Sam,</em> he asked in his head, <em>are we ready?</em></p><p><em>Unless you’d like to stay single, I think we are,</em> she replied. <em>But before you even remotely consider that, I would like to point out that Josie is out here in her element and looks like she would tar and feather your ass if you even think about wrecking her beautiful plans.</em></p><p><em>Fair enough,</em> he replied, laughing and shaking his head. Dorian looked at him curiously for a moment, then his face relaxed into an expression of understanding as he inclined his head toward the door. <em>I’ll see you both soon, Sam.</em></p><p><em>You better</em>, Sam said in his head, then paused for a minute before continuing. <em>I love you, Ali- I’m so happy for you.</em> His sister paused again, and Ali knew what she was going to say before the thought entered his mind. <em>This should have happened years ago, Ali.</em></p><p><em>Well, it’s happening today,</em> he replied as he stepped out of the room and made his way to the front of the room, happy to have Cullen walking by his side just as he had done for him on his special day all those years ago. <em>Now bring my soon to be wife to me, Sam- I don’t want to wait another minute. </em></p><p>
  <em>As you wish, Ali. </em>
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<hr/><p>When she saw him at the door, Lana almost burst into tears. “Zevran! I cannot believe you’re here!”</p><p>The elf gave Lana a dazzling smile, wrapping her in his arms and twirling her around. “Ah, my darling Lana, how could I miss such a wonderful occasion!” When he’d finally set her back down, he leaned over and whispered in her ear. “I promised that I would protect the things that mattered most to you… and I always keep my promises.” Then he brushed her cheek with his lips, making her blush as she gently pushed him away. “When Sam wrote to me and asked that I attend the ceremony, I was honored to do so.”</p><p>“Per Sam and Grace’s traditions, it is usually the father that gets to escort the bride down the aisle,” she said, looking over at her old friend with pure joy. “How does it stand to reason that you’ve been given such an auspicious honor?”</p><p>Zevran took her hand as they prepared to enter the hall. “Because I thought it only fitting,” he replied. “Lana, you are the woman who saved my life and stole my heart all those years ago- it is only fitting that I escort you into the arms of the man you love.”</p><p>“Somehow, I am unsure if you mean what you say or if you’re just plotting a way to weasel into my marriage bed,” Lana replied as they stood at the door and waited for their cue. Leliana and Grace were singing softly, making Lana’s heart skip a beat as she realized that just beyond this door stood the man she’d waited a lifetime for. “But I thank you anyway, friend.”</p><p>“My darling,” Zevran said as he opened the door and guided her through, “the honor is mine… as it has always been.”</p><p>She started to say something else, but the moment the doors parted and she saw him standing at the end of the hall waiting for her, all the words and thoughts in her head immediately vanished- all that was left was the sight of him, holding that same rose he’d given her all those years ago and looking resplendent in his brilliant blue and white Grey Warden armor. Her soon-to-be husband beamed as he watched her, entranced at her approach, and Lana felt a lump in her throat as she floated toward him, her blue and white gown flowing behind her and gliding over the blue flower petals Jenny and Dog had scattered on the floor for her entrance.</p><p>Lana didn't have the proper words for what she was experiencing-  all she could do was stare at him in amazement and disbelief, still convinced that any moment, she would wake up and cry from leaving such a wonderful dream. But when she kept moving and didn’t stop until she was by his side, Lana realized that this was real, she was here, and he was hers- in the midst of all this chaos, they would, after all this time, get the one thing she wanted but thought she would never have. Fully aware of the protocol that Josie had drilled into her head but no longer caring one whit about it, Lana reached up and touched the side of Alistair’s face, then looked around in amazement as the music faded away and the world went still all around them.</p><p>Shocked, she looked over to her sister, who was standing at her side with a huge smile on her face. “What’s this, Sam?” Lana asked quietly. “Why did you stop time?” </p><p>“Because this day is for you two,” she said quietly. “If I could go away, I would- you guys have been waiting for this for over ten years- I figured you’d want a moment that was yours, without all this-“ she gestured over at the sea of faces that had practically tripped over themselves to be invited to the nuptials of the two wardens that had stopped the blight, “then it was the least I could do.” Then she gave Lana a cheeky grin as she reached in her pocket, pulling out a pair of headphones and popping them in her ears. “Let me know when you’re ready,” she said, smiling at the two of them. “I’ll be over here, staying out of the way and keeping myself busy.”</p><p>When Sam had turned away, Lana turned back to Ali and let out a chuckle. “She’s something else,” she murmured, leaning into his warm embrace. “Though I cannot lie, I am thankful for this moment, for the moment I saw you, all I wanted to do was run straight into your arms, my darling.”</p><p>“I’ve been dreaming of this day ever since we discussed it all those years ago,” he admitted. “I wanted every detail to be perfect for you, love- you deserve this and so much more,” Alistair murmured, leaning over to place a soft kiss on her cheek. “But I plan to spend the rest of my life trying to give the world to you.” </p><p>“There’s no need,” Lana replied, leaning up to cup his face in her hands and place a soft kiss on his lips. “You’ve already given me the world, Alistair. You’ve found me across the universe, loved me even when it threatened to break you, and you’ve kept a piece of my soul next to your heart- I have no need for anything else,” she whispered. “I have everything I could ever want right here.” </p><p>He smiled, touching his forehead to hers and running his hands along her arms, and Lana knew he was reassuring himself that she was real and not just a figment of a weary mind. “Then that means I’ll just have to find new ways to show you how much I adore you, Solana Amell Roberts Theirin.” </p><p>Lana laughed, returning to her position and preparing to head back to the present- now, she wanted nothing more than to finish this ceremony and be his wife. “I look forward to it, beloved.”</p><p>And if anyone noticed the sudden smear of pink across her husband’s lips as they professed their love for the world to see, no one ever said a word. </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“Fancy meeting you out here, Sparrow,” a voice said from behind me as I rested against the balcony, eating a slice of the sugar-laden cake Lana had squealed with delight over. “Shouldn’t you be in there dancing with all our phony guests while they try to suckle at the Inquisitor’s teat?"</p><p>“That would be precisely why I’m out here, Hawke,” I replied, turning to face the rogue. He had two glasses of wine in his hands, and he extended one to me. “You didn’t have to bring me a drink, you know.”</p><p>“Of course I didn’t,” he said good-naturedly. “But you looked like you needed one. You think no one noticed, but I saw you scrambling about to make sure that this whole sordid affair happened as it should.” He pointed to my finger, then gave me a slight frown. “I daresay that little jewel on your finger has been black every time I’ve seen you.”</p><p>“It was worth it,” I admitted, taking the glass of wine and letting out a sigh as he rested next to me on the wall. “She got her happily ever after… even if it wasn’t after,” I said softly. “They’d waited long enough.” </p><p>“Never took you for the sappy type,” Hawke said with a grin. I started to scowl at him but he kept bumping me with his hip, eventually making me smile and return the gesture. “There we are,” he said softly, wrapping an arm around me as we sipped our wine. “That’s my Sparrow.” He placed a kiss on my forehead, then rested his head against mine, his dark hair tickling my skin. “Thank you for this,” he said softly. “Thank you for letting me have a new family too, Sam.” He stared out into the hall, letting out a soft chuffing noise as he watched Lana and Ali put those dance lessons Vivienne had insisted upon to use. “I never did tell you how much that meant to me.”</p><p>I closed my eyes, then let out a sigh as I leaned my head against him, finally allowing myself to relax around the man who was there for me when Lana was gone, whether I wanted him to be or not. “Loving you is hard, Hawke,” I admitted. “I keep getting scared you’re going to leave me again… and it hurts so much,” I whispered. “You left and you never told me goodbye- after Lana…” I blew out a breath, blowing away a stray hair that had made its way into my face, only for the offending strands to return to their previous position. “I can’t take letting you back in and watch you leave me again, Hawke.”</p><p>“But… you admit that you do love me,” he teased, tapping my nose and tucking the renegade hairs behind my ear. When I scowled at him he laughed, squeezing my shoulders and rubbing his hand up and down my arm. “I can’t remember when I’ve been around so many people,” he admitted. “It’s been just Anders and me for a very, very long time,” he said wistfully. “Meeting my family, seeing my best friend again, seeing you again… it’s more than I could have hoped for, Sparrow.” </p><p>Not having the words to respond, I just leaned against him, listening to the sounds of merriment taking place inside the room. “To our family,” I said simply, raising my glass and turning to my cousin. “Always together, never apart, maybe in distance but never in heart.”</p><p>“To our family,” he replied, clinking his glass to mine before taking a drink. “That was surprisingly elegant from you, dear Sparrow- did you make that up on the spot?”</p><p>I gave Hawke a wide grin, then took a sip from my glass. “Nah,” I said casually. “I just found it on Pinterest once."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>As Lana and her new husband were sitting at a table and laughing with Cass, she felt a light tap on her shoulder. “Sis, can I borrow you and Ali for a minute?”</p><p>She looked over and saw Grace’s smiling face peering over at her, and instantly Lana knew her sister was plotting something. “I suppose,” she said with a careful smile. “Why, what deviousness do you have planned now, dear sister?”</p><p>“Nothing devious, just need to borrow the fam for a minute,” she replied. “No offense, Cass- you know you’re cool.” </p><p>“None taken,” Cass said with a smile, then got up and gave Grace a slight nod. “I’ll leave you to it,” the seeker replied, then placed a hand on Lana's shoulder. “Once again, congratulations, Lana- it was a beautiful ceremony and I am honored that you allowed me to share it with you.” </p><p>“C’mon, you two!” Grace said, practically bouncing up and down with excitement. “We need to get to my room, like now- Squeak, Hawke, and Cullen should be up there with John already!”</p><p>“You got Sparrow and Hawke together? Funny, I didn’t hear yelling." Ali teased, rising from the table and helping Lana to her feet. “When did that happen?”</p><p>“John is persuasive,” Grace replied noncommittally as they left the main hall. “Besides, I think you’ll enjoy this, so hurry up and get your asses moving- we don’t have much time."</p><p>“Now I'm wondering if I should be concerned, as this sounds very ominous,” Ali said as they headed through the halls to John and Grace’s quarters, “So, care to share what is so damn important that you had to wrangle all your relations into a room at once?”</p><p>Grace just grinned as she stood in front of their door. “Not much,” she said, opening the door, “just some folks wanted to get all the family together on a very special day.”</p><p>Lana stepped inside the room and let out a small gasp of joy as she rested a hand on Grace’s shoulder. To her surprise, her mother and father were in the room with the others, standing next to each other and beaming at Lana and Ali. “Congratulations!” Nia said, crossing the room and giving her a large hug. “I’m so happy for both of you.”</p><p>“I never thought I could have something like this,” Lana whispered, burying her face in her mother’s shoulder. “Thank you… for everything.”</p><p>“The pleasure is truly all mine,” Nia replied, holding her at arm's length and looking her over. “You look amazing Lana.” Then she elbowed her husband, who was busy glaring at Cullen. “Doesn’t she, Dean?”</p><p>Turning away from the very nervous-looking commander, Dean brought his attention to Lana and Ali. When he noticed Lana standing next to her mother, his face lit up as he ran over and swept her up in a crushing hug. “Lana!” He swung her around, making her squeal with delight as she threw her arms around the man who’d taken her in as one of his own. “I’m so proud of you, kid!” Then he set her down and looked over at Ali, nodding at him and extending his hand. “Alistair,” he remarked, taking her husband’s hand in a firm grip. “Happy to meet the <em>one</em> son-in-law who actually asked me about getting married before he just went ahead and did it.”</p><p>“Hey!” John said, grinning as he snaked his arm around Grace’s waist. “Don't lump me in with Rutherford- I asked Ma first, remember? Hell, she even gave me the rings!” </p><p>Dean laughed as he clapped Ali on the shoulder. “True. Also, it doesn’t hurt that you make a mean pie and know your way around a beer- can’t hold too much of a grudge against you.” He turned back to Lana, smiling as he looked her over, then nodded in approval. “You happy, kid?” </p><p>Lana nodded, trying to hold back the tears in her eyes. “Very much so.” </p><p>“Then that’s all I needed,” he replied, hugging her. “I got to meet my nephew and new son-in-law, all my girls are together, and everyone looks like they have a modicum of home training- I feel like it’s my birthday.” He glanced over to his wife, who had walked over and whispered something in his ear, making him scowl. “And I got to meet Rutherford… and I didn’t want to punch him in the face,” Dean grumbled. “Color me surprised.” </p><p>“Dad!” Sam said in exasperation, leaning over and kissing her father on the cheek. “Be nice!”</p><p>He gave his youngest daughter a look of mock surprise. “<em>What?</em> I thought I was!” When Sam just gave him a pointed look, he let out a sigh and walked over to Cullen, extending his hand. “Thanks for looking out for my daughter,” he mumbled. “I guess you didn’t fuck up as much as I thought you would.” </p><p>Cullen looked at him with wide eyes before taking his hand and shaking it enthusiastically. “Thank you… thank you so much!” Realizing he was still shaking Dean’s hand and grinning like a moron, Cullen quickly dropped it, running his hand nervously through his hair. “I, uh, appreciate it. Samantha means more to me than anything else, sir.”</p><p>Dean gave him a dismissive wave. "Whatever- it’s been long enough and I haven’t had to shoot you yet, so Dean is fine,” her father grumbled, then turned back to Ali and Lana. “We can’t stay long, but I couldn’t let another one of my kid’s weddings go by without being there- I'm just sad we missed the ceremony.” </p><p>“Oh, I had that covered,” Sam replied. “Helps when you can stop time and hide the camera somewhere, right?” She handed her mother her phone. “Can you get a copy of the video I took and send it to everyone?” </p><p>Nia looked at the device and rolled her eyes. “I <em>hate</em> technology, Sam- you know that.” She thrust the phone at Dean, who’s lips quirked up. “Here- do whatever it is you need to do with this, please.” </p><p>Dean just laughed, placing a kiss on his wife's cheek. “You know it’s bad when I’m the tech expert here- this is your uncle’s job, not mine.” He punched a few buttons, then paused, looking at his daughter. “I’m not gonna accidentally see anything I don’t want to see, am I?”</p><p>Sam went pale. “Oh dear god no!” Then she got a wicked little smile on her face. “Unless you want to see me and Cullen having dance lessons, I think you’re safe.” </p><p>“Oh, I think I might want those videos- you can never have too much blackmail material,” Dean replied, his fingers moving over the glass then handing the phone back to Sam. Suddenly, multiple beeps rang out in the room, and he smiled. “We got it,” he said as he turned back to Lana. “But now, I gotta get some family photos for the wall at home- Sam’s sketch is beautiful, but I need proper pics, too- pretty hard to brag on my kids without 'em.” </p><p>At that, Hawke gave a slight bow. “Although it’s been absolutely wonderful meeting your wife and seeing my cousin about to piss himself in your presence, sir, I suppose should be taking my leave now,” he remarked, trying to make his way to the door. “Well met, family.”</p><p>“Fuck you goin’?” John asked, leaning against the desk. “He said ‘family’ photos- last I checked, that meant you too, Hawke.” </p><p>Nia nodded. “I seem to have no pictures of my nephew- it would be a shame to not remedy the situation. Sam,” she said kindly handing her phone to the beaming girl, “can you take this wretched thing and set it up for all of us to take a picture together?” </p><p>“Sure thing.” Sam moved over to the desk and fiddled with the phone for a few moments. “All right,” she said finally. “Here we go- one big ass family photo, coming up. I’m just glad everyone bathed today, or this would get super awkward... fast.” </p><p><em>I have a family,</em> Lana thought with pride as she looked up at her beaming mother and father next to her. <em>I never thought I would see the day that something like this would happen.</em> Though it was unconventional, her heart swelled with joy at the sight of her whole family gathered together in honor of her special day, and she giggled with laughter as Nia made all the men pose with Dean. Her giggles gave way to outright laughter as everyone fought to take pictures with her and Ali, and settled into contentment as her father and mother wrapped their arms around her for a photo together, making her feel more loved than she ever had in her life. </p><p><em>You know what,</em> she mused to herself as her husband kissed her on the cheek,<em> If this is the result of waiting, then I’m glad we didn’t do this a long time ago.</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>My heart- I love this crew so much!</p><p>Also, I bit the bullet and finally kicked my <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/danypooh80">Tumblr</a> back up- follow me if you want to send a message, share memes, post fic recommendations, and get previews of the upcoming chapters! </p><p>Next stop... the journey to Adamant begins (I put it off for way too long... sigh)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Seriously, has anyone learned a goddamn thing?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Team Mage heads out to the Western Approach</p>
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<hr/><p>The day was an absolute mess, and I was not here for it.</p><p>Our main tribe was in Grace and John’s room, preparing to see them head back home. We’d expected a few tears, but no one could have predicted (well, I could’ve, and in retrospect,  I probably should’ve) the kids losing their entire minds when John told them that it was time to go home. We’d all been having a blast together, but the bracelet Grace was wearing had started to glow an angry shade of purple, which was mom’s favorite color. Usually, something like this happening would mean that Mom was trying to send a message, but Grace was the queen of ignoring direct instructions on a good day- this situation was no exception. It was only when the bracelet had taken to sending small jolts of electricity into her wrist that Grace decided it was probably time to take mom seriously and pay attention. </p><p>However, Shaun and Jenny did not give a single shit about what Mom wanted- they were both screaming their heads off and clinging to their aunt and now-official uncle. “But I don’t wanna go home!” Shaun wailed, his tiny face buried in Alistair’s stomach. “I wanna stay here with Auntie Lana and Uncle Ali!” </p><p>Not to be outdone, Jenny kicked her howling up a notch, clutching Lana’s neck and filling her big green eyes with tears, causing Dog to add to the madness with howls of his own. “No no no no no!” The tiny girl turned her face into Lana’s chest, even refusing to go into her father’s arms. “Nooooooo!”</p><p>Watching the carnage unfold in front of me, I leaned over to Dorian, who had an expression of absolute horror on his face. “And this right here is why I don’t want kids,” I whispered, causing the mage to twitch his lips with laughter. “I swear to fucking christ I’m getting a goddamn headache.”</p><p>“Imagine how I feel,” he whispered back. “I only came to say goodby and see if I could steal the bottle of rum from John before he left- I did not sign up to watch these two little urchins bleat their brains out about wanting to stay in Thedas.” He gave a derisive snort, then looked over at Jenny, who was now trying to climb up Lana’s shoulders. “For the love of all that is holy, who’d want to stay here that damned badly?”</p><p>Ignoring our commentary and looking extremely helpless, Lana glanced over at Grace, who looked as if she’d do anything to make this noise stop. Visibly frustrated but trying to keep it together, my eldest sister tried a different tactic. “Honey,” she tried again, kneeling so she was eye-level with her son and placing a hand on his shoulder, “we gotta go home- don’t you want to see Grandpa Nick and Fahr again? They miss us, kiddo- we’ve been on vacation for a while, but now it’s time for us to go back, ok?”</p><p>Shaun didn’t even turn around, keeping his face buried in his uncle’s stomach. “But mom,” he sniffled, his voice muffled by Ali’s shirt, “I want to stay with my friends! I’m not weird here,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around Ali’s waist. “I’m just me and it’s fun- no one makes fun of me for making things or talking funny, and I get to go outside and hear cool stories.” My anger relented a little as he brought a hand to his face and wiped his eyes, trying not to let everyone in the room see him cry. “<em>Please</em> Uncle Ali,” the boy pleaded, looking up to stare at his uncle, “<em>please</em> let me stay- I’ll do anything! I’ll get up and brush the horses with Will! I’ll eat all the weird food and I won’t complain or nothin’! I’ll help with Jenny, I’ll make Dagna more cool stuff, I’ll-“</p><p>“Shaun,” I said gently, finally kneeling next to my sister and staring at my nephew, “we have to go on a really dangerous mission and we won’t be back for a while,” I told him as I brought him close and stroked his hair. “But, when we get back and we finish with everything, I’m gonna see about getting you back for a visit, ok?” I stared at him, knowing what he was deciding and I put up a warning finger- smart little boy or no, this was still Grace’s son. “But,” I warned, “if you try to use the doors and come back without permission, I’m gonna tell your Grandma to make you forget all about your visit over here.”</p><p>Shaun’s eyes grew wide, then he frowned. “You don’t mean that,” he whispered. “Gramma can’t do that kind of thing.”</p><p>At that, John let out a loud snort and turned away, moving to go sit on his trunk while I fought to not laugh at the little boy. “I’m afraid she can,” I replied honestly. “And I don’t want to ask her to do that, but it’s too dangerous over here for little boys who won’t listen, and I gotta keep you safe- you’re my favorite nephew, kiddo.” </p><p>He wiped his nose with his shirt in that disgusting way little boys do, then gave me a tentative smile. “I’m your only nephew, Auntie Sam.” </p><p>I gave him a non-committal shrug. “Maybe. I hear that you’ve got a few more cousins on your Uncle Cullen’s side. Maybe one of them will be my new favorite.”</p><p>“Nuh-uh,” Shaun said, reaching over and hugging me around my waist. “You already told me I was- no take-backs, Auntie Sam.”</p><p>“Fine, no take-backs,” I said with a grin as I kissed him on his head. “Now, come on, let’s get you guys home before your gramma loses her shit, ok?"</p><p>“Fine,” Shaun said begrudgingly, then looked over at all of us. “But you promise we can come back, right? I still want to see my friends, and I want Hawke to finish telling me all the fun stories about Uncle Cullen when he was younger!”</p><p>Cullen looked over to glare at Hawke, who walked over to the boy and ruffled his hair. “I’ll do you one better- Varric wrote a whole book about it,” he said as he looked over at Cullen with a grin. “I’ll go get you a copy and you can read all about it- how’s that sound?” </p><p>His eyes brightened for a moment before his face fell. “I can’t read the writing out here, Hawke- it all looks like squiggles to me.” </p><p>Finally, John spoke up from across the room. “Your grams and gramps can, kid- I’m sure they’ll read it to you if you ask ‘em nicely.” Stretching his arms, he got off the trunk and headed over to Jenny, who had mercifully gone silent once her brother had calmed down. Careful to not start a new riot, he took the girl in his arms, he leaned over and placed a kiss on his son’s head. “And you can always write a letter- that big ol’ bird that hangs around sometimes gets us letters from the folks over here.” Then he looked around the room at all of us, fixing each of us with a stare in turn. “And all of y’all are gonna write to us, right?” </p><p>Suddenly, Shaun’s face lit up and he turned to his mom, eyes aglow with excitement. “Mom! You still got your pip-boy, right? <em>Please</em> say you have it! Please?” </p><p>She stared at her son, her confusion evident as she nodded. “Yeah, it’s in the trunk- gramma told me to take it with me. Why?” </p><p>The little boy got a manic look on his face, then wheeled around to Lana and me. “Ok, I <em>know</em> we need to go,” he said quickly, holding up his hands and looking so much like Grace when she was trying to talk her way out of trouble, “but I need to go see Miss Dagna for a few more hours- if you let me do that, then I’ll go home and I won’t say a word, honest!”</p><p>“A few hours in exchange for that?” Cullen teased, glancing over at Grace. “Sounds like we’re getting the better end of the deal here, sister.” </p><p>“Says the man who’s not getting zapped every fifteen minutes,” Grace retorted, rubbing her wrist- no matter how much she tried to take it off, the bracelet was stuck fast, meaning that mom was not fucking around with her. She started to protest, but one look at her son and the way he was jumping from foot to foot made her sigh, rolling her eyes and giving me a resigned look. “All right, Squeak- you’re the magic eight-ball out here- what happens if we wait a little longer?” </p><p>I paused, then let out a laugh, shaking my head. “Trust me, you can afford to wait,” I answered as I stared over at my nephew. “Wow... you really are a fucking genius, aren’t you?"</p><p>“Yep,” the boy said proudly, staring up at me before returning his attention to the room. “Now… Auntie Lana, Auntie Sam… I need your phones, please.  And mom, gimme your phone and your pip-boy, ok?” Then he paused, looking over at his mom nervously. “It’s ok if I mess with it, right? You won’t be mad or nothin’, will you?”</p><p>“Not at all,” she replied as she walked over to the trunk and gave him what he asked for. “You’re the smartest guy I know,” she said with a smile. “If anyone can make magic happen with tech, it’s you.” Then she looked over at her husband and smirked as Shaun dove into the trunk and grabbed his tools, spouting off a bunch of other things he needed as he raced toward the undercroft, Hawke quickly following behind him. “Well, I’ll be damned… looks like our boy does have some of that 'magical bullshit' in him, eh hon?”</p><p>“Reckon so, Sunshine”, John replied, shaking his head as Lana deftly plucked Jenny from his arms and headed out the room, Dog trotting happily behind them. "Color me surprised.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Now that her family had left, it was time to resume their campaign- they’d set out soon after Shaun had returned their phones, proudly demonstrating that he’d reworked them so they could send messages to each other. She had no desire to talk to Dagna and see what else the tiny dwarf had done with the knowledge, instead choosing to be content that she had a way to stay connected with her family. Sam had chosen not to make much of a fuss, simply shaking her head and thanking the boy while John spoke with Cullen, telling the normally stoic man something that made him nod, his expression unreadable. </p><p>But as they traveled, Lana was becoming more and more convinced that there was not a single location in Thedas that Sam would ever find acceptable. Upon hearing from Leliana that there were rumors of warden activity at an old Tevinter tower in the Western approach, they’d set out immediately. To be sure, the acrid and dry desert air was certainly unpleasant, but Sam had begun to act as if she were dying the entire time. </p><p>“This is… <em>Arizona</em> levels of hot,” Sam groused, taking off her boot and shaking the sand out of it. “There is now sand everywhere, guys- I have sand in places that sand certainly should <em>not</em> be, and I am ready to melt like cheap-ass ice cream! I don’t get it- how are you not dying, Lana Banana?” Sam looked over at her and yanked her hair up in a ponytail, staring out at the expanse of desert in front of them. “And to top it off, I don’t feel right about this, guys- something feels <em>wrong</em> out here.” </p><p>“Well, it wouldn’t be a job for us if stuff weren’t going to hell in a handbasket, now would it?” Ali asked, looking over at Hawke and frowning. The rogue had been uncharacteristically silent since they’d embarked on the mission, which had made everyone concerned. Lana gave her husband a look, who nodded before returning his attention to Hawke. “Are you alright, cousin?” </p><p>He started to shake his head, but then Sam gave him a look. “Don’t lie, my dude- I’m only just now starting to like you and I’d hate to go back to wanting to throat-punch you for being macho and stupid.” She shot Lana a quick look, then crossed her arms. “Team Mage doesn’t keep shit from each other, so get your shit together, Hawke.”</p><p>Realizing the depth of meaning behind her words, Hawke gave Sam a startled look, then sighed as they settled down in camp. “My apologies,” he said sadly. “I understand that you are all concerned, but none of you lot wants to hear my problems, I assure you.”</p><p>Dorian sniffed as he eased past Cassandra before settling down next to Hawke. “I’m afraid you won’t get a moment’s peace until you come clean,” he said as he looked over at the others. “Our darling Sam is like a Mabari with a bone when she wants something, and Lana is just dreadfully scary at times- you’d do better to confess and have them give you their looks of disdain for being stupid,” he said with a smirk. “The confession rarely warrants all the buildup, and more often than not you’ll just ruin the bets we’d placed on whatever was the matter.” </p><p>“Yeah, what Sparkler said,” Varric replied, looking over at Hawke. “Besides, I’ve known you for ten years, Chuckles- what gives? I haven’t seen you this despondent in.. well, <em>ever</em>,” he said simply. “So what’s got your knickers in a twist now?”</p><p>Lana thought about it for a moment before she sat in front of her cousin, crossing her legs and staring at him. “It’s about Anders, isn’t it?” Lana asked gently. “Are you concerned for him?” Quickly, before Sam could react, she sent a thought to her sister. <em>Do not chide him for this,</em> she warned. <em>He is truly upset, and I’ll not have you berating him for how he rightly feels, Sam. </em></p><p><em>Then I’m out</em>, she said simply, looking over at Ali. <em>I’ll go take Ali and Dorian and do some recon- you guys stay here and sort him out. Maybe if I’m gone, he’ll talk to you,</em> she said curtly. <em>I think he’s scared that I’m gonna yell at him about it. </em></p><p>Lana looked over at Hawke, who now had his head in his hands. <em>Are you? </em></p><p><em>I’m gonna take a walk,</em> Sam replied, not answering her question as he walked over and patted Hawke on the shoulder. <em>I’ll see you in a bit, Lana Banana.</em></p><p>Lana sighed as Sam began to stretch, shooting looks at Ali and Dorian as she walked toward Scout Harding. The two men glanced over at Lana, who nodded before turning back to Hawke, hoping to figure out what was going on with her cousin. “Though I fear I’m not as good as Varric, I’ve been told I’m a decent listener,” she said kindly, placing her hand on his knee. “I’d like to know what’s troubling you,”</p><p>“That little exchange was because of me, wasn’t it?” Hawke said quietly, picking up a handful of sand and letting it run slowly through his fingers. “Once again, it seems I’ve made Sam angry with the mere mention of his name.”</p><p>Cass sat across from them, looking out at the expanse of desert that lay ahead of them. “I’d say this was progress, Champion- no one was slapped and your aunt did not have to intervene. For Sam, this shows much growth.”</p><p>“As terrible as that statement makes my sister look, I’m afraid I have to agree,” Lana said with a smile. “So, while it is just us, care to tell me what has one of the most dashing men I know in such a state?” </p><p>“You were correct before,” he said sadly. “It is Anders- he… is not doing well,” he whispered. “The false calling is growing stronger by the day- I fear that if we do not do something…” He cut himself off as he shot a look at Varric, who had a neutral expression on his face. “You have happiness, Lana- I’m fully aware I’ll never have what you and Sam have found, but…” he looked out into the distance, letting out a heaving sighing before turning back to Lana and giving her a sad smile. “My love is nothing like yours, but it’s mine and I hold it dear- I’ll do anything within my power to keep him safe.”</p><p>She nodded, reaching for his hand- if no one else understood the desire to protect what they loved, she certainly did. “You have no idea how much I understand what you’re going through,” Lana replied softly, avoiding the looks from Cassandra and Varric- they both knew the details of her choice from what seemed to be a lifetime ago. “We will save him,” she said firmly. “Though I do not agree with his choices, I do stand with you, Hawke- if nothing else, I will help my cousin save the man he loves.” She smiled at Hawke, resting her hand on his. “I have saved the world from the blight, sealed the breach, and stopped the Empress of Orlais from being assassinated- I can at least endeavor to give my cousin some measure of happiness.”</p><p>After giving Lana a grateful look, Hawke closed his eyes and leaned against Varric, who gently patted him on the back. “Thank you,” Hawke said wearily. “You have no idea how much your support means to me.”</p><p class="p1">
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  <em>Stabby,</em>
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  <em>I’m not even gonna sugarcoat this- we got problems. </em>
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  <em>Positive: Cheesy, FancyPants, and I went out exploring, and we found where the griffins have been hiding out. </em><br/>
<em>Negative: they’ve been kicking it hard with the murder venison. </em>
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  <em>We were right, there’s a bootleg version of everyone’s least favorite song playing on repeat out here- turns out it’s all part of Birdman's master plan to fuck shit up. The lead Griffin struck some kind of stupid-ass deal, and now the magical ones are carving the others up like thanksgiving dinner so they can get their demon on. Tell the leader of Dumbledore’s Army they’ve been beaten out for asshat of the year by a landslide- she can send the crown FedEx, cause there ain’t no question on that vote. Banana and I were able to put a very sad and crispy stop to the party, but the head murder deer got away. Cheesy thinks they’re heading to the griffin treehouse and wants to go check it out, but we ix-nayed that shit real fast- we need all hands on deck before we start taking on psycho griffins. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>We’re headed back home- there’s still a lot of shit to be done out here, but your eight-ball says it can wait. I’m usually the one that’s not too worried cause I can skip ahead in the book, but I’m getting the feeling we’re gonna need a bigger boat, guys- this is a tour I’ve never been on before, and that ain’t good.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Sparrow</em>
</p><p>—</p><p>Leliana looked over at Cullen, her face taut. “Does this letter mean what I think it means? Are the wardens truly mad?” </p><p>Cullen nodded. “And it looks like the Venatori leader has fled to Adamant,” he said tersely. “A fortress full of corrupted Grey Wardens, all under the thrall of Corypheus.” He shook his head, looking sadly over at the other two advisors. “Maker’s breath, we’re going to need an army to take on that place.”</p><p>“Good thing you’ve been training ours for such a fight,” Leliana said seriously, then she looked around the room. “Come,” she said quickly. “We have plans to make and much to discuss in the meanwhile- I fully intend to ask our dear Sam about every possible outcome.” Her lips set in a tight line as she locked eyes with Cullen. “This will <em>not</em> be another Haven,” she hissed. “This time, our destiny is our own… and I will <em>personally</em> see to it.” </p><p>The spymaster turned on her heel and stormed out of the room, making Cullen a little uncomfortable with the dark glint he’d seen in her eyes.</p><p> </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>When we returned to Skyhold, no one was in a good mood- Hawke was still somber and Ali and Lana were silent, no doubt still processing the things we’d seen out there. Desperate to get away from this oppressive mood, I hopped from my horse and headed over to Leli, who was waiting at the gates for us. “Hey!” I called out brightly, “I'm surprised to see you at the gates- what, was everyone else too busy?” </p><p>Before I could say another word, Leliana practically snatched me by my collar, dragged me into the war room, then plunked a sweet roll down in front of me. “Here is the map,” she said tersely. “What happens if we try to take Adamant fortress?” She gestured to the roll, then crossed her arms. “Eat that if you must- I need all the information you can give me, Samantha.”</p><p>I looked at her with wide eyes, debating on if I should just stop time and leave- I knew she was on edge, but this was new, even for her. “Um, Leli, why do I get the feeling you’re trying to keep me prisoner here?” </p><p>“Because I am,” she replied without a trace of humor in her tone. “I want no jokes or excuses- you are an advisor and you will do your job today,” she hissed. “This is too important- the wardens cannot fall. If this spreads, if it begins to affect Lana and Alistair…” her voice trailed off before she fixed me with an eagle-eyed glare. “Your mother was cryptic about Haven, but she knew. <em>You</em> saved the empress,” she said through gritted teeth. “You <em>will</em> save the wardens. Sam.”</p><p>I let out a sigh. “Leli, the calling is a fake- Lana and Ali are safe from this, I can promise you that,” I said, placing a hand on her arm and hoping she wouldn’t stab me. “The other wardens…” I thought about what I’d seen in the approach, shuddering at the memory of seeing the mages cut the throats of their fellow wardens and turning themselves into demons. “I don’t know,” I said simply. “This is new for me.” </p><p>“Then write your mother,” she said angrily, plunking down a piece of paper and a quill in front of me. “Tell her to help you see it. She sent Grace here- surely she can answer your question.” </p><p>She crossed her arms and I stared at my friend, trying to make myself understand where she was coming from. Sadly, I pushed the paper back to her, watching as her eyes narrowed into slits. “Leli, she’s not going to answer me and you know it- Mom doesn’t work that way.” I could feel the threads swirling around her and I quickly reached out for Cullen and Lana to get in here to diffuse this situation- Leliana was not in a good place right now. “And my friend threatening to hurt me to get her to come won’t do much good, either,” I whispered, extremely saddened by the fact she’d even considered such an option. “Leli, I love you, but this isn’t you- come back to me, please.” </p><p>“That’s enough,” Cullen said from the doorway, Lana and Ali standing cautiously by his side. “Leli, step away from Sam, please.” His tone was even but his jaw was tense, signaling he’d understood just how bad this thing was. “You and I both know she’ll tell us what she can- there’s absolutely no need for this.” </p><p>For a moment, Leli's lip trembled- then just as quickly, her face hardened and she stared at the three of them. “You three are willing to coddle her when the lives of the order are at stake? What of the lives of our troops? What of Ali and Lana? <em>Why</em> are you not seeing that we must do everything we can in order to save her-" She shook her head, catching herself as Alistair closed the door behind him. “-save everyone!”</p><p>“Leli.” It was just a single word, but when Lana uttered it the spymaster paused, her body vibrating with tension as she clenched her fists. Slowly, Lana moved closer, watching her friend carefully as she approached. When Leli made no moves, Lana moved to her side and pulled her into a hug. “Leli,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around her friend and stroking her hair, “It’s ok… <em>I</em> am ok… you will not lose me again, all right?” </p><p>For the first time since I’d known her, Leliana began to shake rapidly before letting out a guttural cry, burying her head in Lana’s chest and clinging tightly to her best friend. “I failed you so many times,” she sobbed softly. “We lost you in Denerim... then we almost lost you at Haven… I love you too much to let you down again, Lana.” </p><p>“You’ve never let me down,” Lana said with a smile as she held Leliana close. “Whenever I have needed you, you have been there- just as Sam is my sister, so are you, dear Leli.” Then she pulled back and gave her a soft smile as she wiped the tears from the redhead’s face. “So, in the meanwhile, can you refrain from trying to sacrifice Sam for what you believe is the greater good? I daresay my mother would be quite put out with you over something like that.” </p><p>Leliana slumped forward, almost as if she was coming out of a dream, and when I got up from my seat she turned to me with wide, horrified eyes. “Oh Sam," she whispered, clutching a hand to her mouth, her eyes darting between Cullen and I. “Maker preserve me, I am so, <em>so</em> sorry…” She looked up at Cullen, who was still stiff with rage and glaring at his friend. “I… don’t know what… I don’t know why…” </p><p>She reached out for me, but the moment she did my husband stepped in front, his form imposing and stern. “No,” he said, looking down at her outstretched hand. “Don’t you <em>dare</em> touch her, Leliana- you’ve done enough for today.” </p><p>Seeing the look on her face as her old friend stared her down, Leliana stood frozen in front of us, looking as if the world was crumbling around her. In an instant, I had my hand on my husband’s arm, pulling him away and reaching out for her. “It’s ok,” I said, hugging her and letting her sink into me, her soft cries wetting my shirt. “Why didn’t you tell me you were holding all this in,” I asked, whispering in her ear as I rubbed her back. “I would’ve been there for you, Leli… you <em>know</em> that.” Understanding that my friend was in no condition to respond, I gently guided her to the couch, signaling Lana to join us. “We’re here for you,” I said. “No matter what.” </p><p>As the two of us held the weeping girl in our arms, I looked over at the two men standing in the doorway, watching. My husband was staring and almost stuttering with rage, but Ali quickly placed a hand on his shoulder before whispering something in his ear. Instantly, his lips went tight and he inhaled, glaring at us one more time before storming out the room, slamming the door shut behind him. </p><p>Ali let out a sigh as he walked over to us, placing a kiss on Lana’s head before looking over at me. <em>I’ll be outside</em>, he said, looking over at Leli and placing a hand on her shoulder. <em>Reach out if you need anything, ok?</em></p><p>I nodded and he left us to sit with our friend, leaving both my sister and me with the sobering realization of just how much weight our friend had been carrying and silently contemplating how we had failed the one who needed us most.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>AUTHOR'S RANT: Ordinarily, I don't like to offer justifications, but I think it's warranted here. </p><p>In case you haven't noticed (and it's ok, cause I didn't, lol), Leli is NOT okay. She's lost Lana, lost Sam when she decided to say a big F you to Thedas, lost the Divine, then Haven got destroyed, and now Sam is telling her that mage Wardens (who would be Lana) are killing the warriors (Ali) and turning into demons? That's a whole lot for one person to deal with, and we all know she's not sharing with anyone- I'm surprised she's held it together as long as she has, TBH. </p><p>And... now I've just gone ahead and analyzed a fictional character. I think this is the point where I officially need to be let out of my house.  </p><p>See you soon- we've got one more chapter before Team Mage sets out for the fortress!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Catching water in a paper bag</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Adamant is approaching, and no one is okay.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>Lana walked out of the war room, visibly shaken- she’d never seen her friend in such a state, and she knew that with the upcoming battle, it was likely that everyone was feeling similar levels of stress. Sam had agreed to walk with Leli back to her quarters, and though Lana wanted to accompany them, she understood that her sister had reasons for her actions- she needed the woman to know that she still trusted her implicitly. Still, knowing something didn’t always equate to certainty, so Lana leaned against Ali, letting out a breath as the two women went past.</p><p>“That… was something else,” Ali said quietly, leaning his head to look at Lana. “Are you okay, love?”</p><p>She nodded. “Just…” Then she sighed- lying to her husband would serve no one. “No,” she admitted, “I’m not.” They started to walk toward their quarters, and she twisted her fingers in her hands. After a few moments, Lana found her voice, turning to look at Alistair. “How could I not notice that my best friend was in such a state? What kind of person am I to-“ </p><p>“Stop right there,” Ali said as they entered their room. “I will not have you berating yourself for this, Lana.” He guided her to the bed, slowly removing her boots and kneeling at her feet. “Just because you’re the Inquisitor doesn’t mean you know everything about everyone, darling.”</p><p>“I know,” she said with a sigh. “But I should have known- she’s my best friend! I’ve been laying item after item at her feet, never checking to see how she was doing along the way.” Lana dropped her gaze, looking down with a sigh. “If it weren’t for Sam being able to reach out to us…”</p><p>“But she could, and she did,” Ali said softly. “And we all have gotten a harsh yet needed reminder that we need to stop and be human a bit more.” He rose from his position on the floor, then sat next to Lana on the bed. “You’re doing things that are unprecedented, love- as much as it hurts to say, you have to remember that you’re going to miss things, and it’s not fair of us to hold it against you when you do.” </p><p>“You should,” Lana mumbled. “This is vastly different from forgetting a name day, Ali.” She glanced up at him, remembering the nightmarish scene in the approach. “If it weren’t for mom, that might be us,” she whispered. “I might have… you would have…”</p><p>“Hush,” he replied, cradling her head in his hands. “We will not spend another minute worrying about things that never will be, understand?” Sliding off her cloak from her shoulders, Ali placed a soft kiss on the delicate area between her neck and collarbone. “For now, we will stay here and bask in the warmth of each other’s company.” Slowly, he traced his hands down the front of her robes, his hands tracing the outline of her breast band before pulling her close to him. “Let go, Lana,” he murmured in her ear, his warm breath sending a shiver down her spine. “Take a minute to remember what we’re fighting for.” </p><p>She started to protest, started to say that this wasn’t the time for such endeavors. But once her husband placed his lips upon hers, she realized that he was right- she was doing all this to make sure that they had a home to come back to. Above all else, Lana wanted him- it was always him she was fighting for, the one she was constantly trying to save- no matter what, she was going to fight to have a lifetime more of moments like these. <em>It won’t ever be easy,</em> she thought,<em> but with him here I can do anything</em>. Lana felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude to everyone who was working so hard for her to enjoy a future that she had no rights to, and from that moment on she vowed to always let everyone just how much their love and support meant to her. </p><p>As she clung him tightly, Alistair smiled as he rested his head against hers, the stubble that had arisen from their travels still tickling her lip. “Feel better?” </p><p>She smiled and nodded, feeling the heat from his gaze as his eyes took in the pink of her cheeks and the rapid rise and fall of her chest. “Thank you,” she whispered, stroking his cheek and closing her eyes. “Thank you for everything, Alistair.”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>When Varric entered the tavern, he was greeted by a disheveled Hawke sitting in the back of the room surrounded by a bevy of empty glasses. Taking note of the state of the rogue, he gestured to the barmaid to follow him and clear the table, quietly settling down in the seat next to his friend. “Looks like one helluva party, Chuckles,” he remarked casually. “So, where was my invite?”</p><p>“Lost in the post,” Hawke mumbled, tracing his finger on his glass. “I’ll be sure to hand-deliver it next time.”</p><p>Varric stared at the man, noticing the purple bruises that had started to bloom around his wrists. “Trouble in paradise? Or is that from a new skincare regime that I want absolutely no part of?”</p><p>“Oh, no trouble at all,” Hawke replied with a forced cheerfulness that made Varric’s heart dip into his stomach. “This is an improvement- I only received these beauties today when I tried to restrain him. I’d like to think he’s getting better, or his aim is, at least.” The rogue chugged the last of his ale, setting the now empty glass on the table and gesturing for another. “He also only asked me to murder him five times today- I think we’re making progress.” </p><p>“Shit,” Varric said, frowning. “The draughts aren’t helping anymore?” </p><p>“Not particularly. When I came back, Cole said he was crazed while I was away- he barely ate, barely slept…” Hawke shook his head, then rested it against the table. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take, Varric- if it weren’t for Cole…"</p><p>Though he knew it was a dangerous suggestion, Varric knew he had to give it. “Have you talked to your cousin about this?” </p><p>Hawke’s head flew up so fast that the dwarf was scared the man would fly backward out of his chair. “Are you mad?” When Varric didn’t respond, his friend gave a mirthless chuckle and grabbed the new drink from the barmaid, draining it in one gulp. “You absolutely must be stark raving mad if you propose that I let those two anywhere near each other!”</p><p>“It’s not the worst idea, Hawke,” Varric said plaintively. “Sparrow’s gotten some new tricks since we last hung out with her- she knows how to make these potions that I’ve seen accomplish some really freaky shit.” Then he sighed, looking at the dark circles under his friend’s eyes. “And she made the two charms that are keeping Ali and Lana from hearing that weird song, kid- Maybe she’d be willing-“</p><p>The rogue cut him off with a dirty look. “She’d let him die first and you know it, so please don’t patronize me with dreams and platitudes.”  Hawke scoffed, then stared into the empty glass, gingerly rubbing the bruise on his wrist. “I can take the pain, Varric- what I can’t take is hope where there is none to be had.”</p><p>Looking over at Hawke and seeing that there was nothing more he could say, Varric just nodded and moved closer to his friend, resting a hand lightly on his shoulder. The drunken rogue looked over at his hand but said nothing, so Varric took the silence to mean the conversation had run its course. “C’mon,” he said, getting to his feet. “You need a bed, and I’m gonna be up writing for a minute- let’s head upstairs and take a breather.” When Hawke didn’t reply, the dwarf patted him gently between his shoulder blades. “Thedas is still gonna be burning whether you get a good nap in or not,” he said with a gentle smile. “May as well go out looking dapper and well-rested, right?”</p><p>This got a smile from Hawke, and to Varric’s relief, the man shakily rose to his feet, letting out a deep sigh as he rested an arm on the dwarf for balance. “I suppose you’re right,” he said with a half-hearted grin. “After all, there’s no sense in leaving an ugly corpse- I’ve got a reputation to uphold.” </p><p>Chuckling at the bleakness of the rogue’s statement and vowing to do something about it, Varric escorted his friend to his room. “I’d expect nothing less, Hawke."</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>After settling Leliana in her room for the night, I returned to my bedroom and found my husband pouring over a stack of papers. He barely looked up when I entered, so I knocked quietly on the doorframe, hoping to get the argument out of the way. “You busy?” I tentatively asked, trying to gauge his reaction. “If you want, I can go room with Dorian tonight- I’m sure he won’t mind.”</p><p>Cullen didn’t even look away from his papers. “Now why would I want my wife to do that?” </p><p>I scoffed and then pointed to him before turning away. “I'm just going off the fact that you’re not even looking at me and you’ve barely said two words since I got home. In my book, that’s usually code for ‘get the fuck away from me’.”</p><p>“Then you need a new book,” he said curtly, looking up at me with a frown before returning to his papers. “It seems the fact that we now have to prepare for an assault on a fortress controlled by possessed Grey Wardens has escaped your mind. Seeing as how you were almost murdered over it, I would have thought these things would be at the forefront of your brain. So, my darling wife, forgive me if I don’t rush from my desk and leap into your arms while I try to work out a way for our troops to enter this fray and live, not to mention prepare myself for whatever foolish plan that you and your sister decide to enact while I try valiantly to save you from yourselves.”</p><p>Not willing to engage with him any further, I just nodded- it wasn't worth it to say something I'd regret later. “You do that. I’ll be at Dorian’s.” </p><p>I didn’t even bother walking away- instead, I just closed my eyes and searched for the mage, disappearing from my quarters and finding him as he was relaxing alone in the Wine Club bath. “Hey,” I said sadly. “Got room for one more in here?”</p><p>Raising his eyebrows, Dorian looked around at the empty room and extended his arms wide. “I’m afraid there is simply no room, dear Sam. <em>Do</em> go try to find another nearly empty hot spring to soak that dejected little body of yours in.” </p><p>I started to laugh, but before I could come up with a witty retort, I felt tears start to roll down my cheeks as my laughs turned into loud, hiccuping sobs. “I… I…” I stammered, trying desperately to gain some control over myself, “I can’t do this anymore,” I told him. “It’s too much.” </p><p>When he noticed my reaction, Dorian didn't lose any time- in one fluid motion, the Altus had hopped out of the water and shrugged into his robe, enveloping me in a soggy yet warm hug. “Dear Sam,” he whispered, “what’s the matter? Talk to me.”</p><p>“Cullen’s mad because Leliana tried to kill me,” I said, realizing how stupid that sounded the moment the words left my mouth. “God, that sounds crazy, even for me.”</p><p>“Crazy, but considering the source, hardly surprising,” Dorian said, guiding me to a seat on the stone bench along the wall. "Talk to me, Sam."</p><p>I wanted to say something, <em>anything</em>, but no matter what I tried, the only thing that came out was more tears. Eventually, I just gave up on talking, burying my head in his chest and letting out sob after sob that drenched his robes. All the events of the day had left me feeling like a rubber band that had been pulled way too taut- it was as if the last vestiges of my control finally snapped, leaving me with nothing but a sea of emotions that I couldn’t reign in if I wanted to. I just knew that Dorian would give me shit for ruining his clothes, but surprisingly, the Altus said nothing- we just sat in silence, him holding me close and rubbing my back as I let out a torrent of tears. </p><p>Finally, my sobs subsided into soft hiccups, and my friend lifted my face from his now drenched robes. “So, is that your solution?” Dorian asked, lightly wiping away a trail of tears from my cheeks. "You and the commander get into a tiff and you immediately think of leaving me with the rest of this motley crew? I should be sending a bolt of lightning straight into that plump little rear of yours for even thinking such a thing, Sam.”</p><p>Despite my tears, I let out a chuckle as I wiped my eyes. “It’s not polite to say that I have a fat ass, Dorian.” </p><p>“But if it’s true…” Grinning, he leaned over and repeatedly poked me in the butt, making me squeal and slap at his hands. “Look, it’s so damnably <em>squishy!</em> I’m not sure I’ll ever understand how even fit it into those tight pants you insist on pouring yourself into!"</p><p>“Dorian,” a voice called from the stairs, “No matter how good of a friend you are, I’m not quite sure how I feel about you manhandling my wife’s wonderful posterior.”</p><p>Looking up, I saw Cullen standing over us in his nightclothes, holding two towels and my pajamas in his hands. “Pavus, would you mind giving us a minute? I believe I need to discuss some things with Sam for a moment.”</p><p>Scowling, Dorian looked Cullen up and down. “And you’ve decided to ruin my bath with even more yelling? I had plans of settling in with a nice glass of wine after I calmed this one down.” </p><p>“I have no intention of yelling at her,” he said, giving me an apologetic look as I clung to my friend. I just sighed and looked down, but I felt Dorian squeeze my hand as Cullen continued. "I would just like to talk, as I should have done in the first place instead of behaving like a petulant child.” </p><p>Dorian crossed his legs, narrowing his eyes at Cullen from our seat. “Give me one reason why I should believe a word you’re saying, Commander.”</p><p>“John left the bottle of rum with us- it's in my lower desk drawer.”</p><p>At that, Dorian stood up, gently patting me on the arm. “Have a wonderful chat, dear Sam.” </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>Cullen woke up in the morning to the soft sounds of cawing coming from the windowsill and groaned as he opened his eyes. Blinking in the light of the slowly rising sun pouring through the hole in his roof, he rolled over in his bed, only to find the red-eyed raven staring at him. “Hello, Baron,” he said softly, making sure not to disturb his wife, who was still sleeping soundly. He wasn't surprised she was still asleep, as they’d had a late night- Cullen knew he had gone too far when Sam didn’t even try to argue with him and simply winked out of existence. He only remained at his desk for a moment before rushing over to Dorian’s chamber, only to hear Vivienne grousing about how the Altus refused to tell her where he was always running off to with his bath clothes. </p><p>Knowing exactly where the two of them were, he raced back to his quarters and got dressed for bed before stealing off to the hidden spring, Sam's nightclothes and towels in hand. It had taken bribing the Altus with the spirits his brother-in-law had left for him, but being able to spend a few moments with his wife was well worth the effort- he’d been unnecessarily curt with Sam and he knew it. After a long soak and a much-needed conversation, the commander found himself in a much better mood, which he sincerely hoped wasn’t about to be interrupted by an angry missive from his father-in-law. </p><p>To his surprise, the note was not from Dean, but from Leliana, asking him to meet her in the gardens. He thought about balling up the paper in a fit of pique, but he realized he would be acting childish if he did such a thing. So, instead of scowling and wrapping his arms around his wife and protecting her as long as he could, Cullen found himself walking toward a bundled-up spymaster. </p><p>“Commander,” Leliana said stiffly, glancing at him before looking away, “I was unsure if you’d actually come… thank you for that.”</p><p>“Leli,” he said, wanting to dispense with the formality as quickly as possible. He extended his arm to her, escorting her out of the gardens and to the open fields outside the castle gates- he wanted no one to hear their conversation. “I need you to talk to me,” he said quickly, sitting down on a nearby rock cropping. “I’ve heard the story from Sam, but I need to hear it from you- what in the world would make you do such a thing?”</p><p>She sighed, staring out over the snow-covered mountains. “There is no answer I can give you that would be satisfactory,” she said quietly. “It was… I don’t know what it was,” she admitted. He frowned and she folded her hands together, unable to look at him. “Sam reasoned that after losing Lana the first time, then losing Divine Justinia, I…” Her voice trailed off, but she turned to look at him, a sad smile on her face. “I can’t say what would’ve happened had you not come in, and for that, I will forever be sorry, commander."</p><p>He made a show of looking around, then turned back to Leliana, pointing to himself. “I’m sorry, did my wife send us back into the past? Because I was quite sure that we had moved past our titles, Leli.”  When she gave a slight chuckle, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, breathing a sigh of relief when she finally relaxed against him. For a while, neither of them spoke, just sitting and staring off into the distance, each taking comfort in the quiet and settling in the presence of each other. “You need to talk to me,” he said without looking at her. “There is no one here that knows what you’re going through like I do, friend- if you need someone to share your burdens, then I am here for you… just as I have always been.” </p><p>“The commander of the Inquisition has more important things to contend with than the ramblings of a broken woman,” Leliana said in a voice that was almost impossible to hear. “I do not wish to trouble you.”</p><p>“But there is nothing more important to your friend than making sure that you are okay,” he replied, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. “I’m sure the Commander will understand if I carve out a few moments for that.” He leaned over and whispered in her ear conspiratorially. “I hear he’s a bit of an ass, but I’m sure I can take him. If not,” he said with a smirk, "I can always talk to his wife… I hear she’s close to the Inquisitor.” </p><p>At that, Leli let out a bright laugh, then laughed even harder as she brought her hands to her mouth, trying to muffle the noise with little success. “Funny,” she said between laughter, "I heard that the current spymaster is a bit of a raging bitch- who do we talk to about her?”</p><p>Cullen let out his own snort as he looked over at Leliana, giving her a bright smile and getting a true one from her in return. “I swear,” he said softly, "how did we ever end up working for such dreadful people, Leli?”</p><p>Leaning against him and watching the sunrise, she shook her head and patted his hand. “I have no idea- I think we may have made a few missteps along the way.” She looked up at him with a grateful smile. “Thank you, Cullen- I do not know what I’ve done to deserve your friendship, but know that I cherish every minute of it.” She looked down, then turned away. “I hope you can forgive me for my transgressions against your wife,” she said softly. “But if you cannot-“</p><p>“Hush,” Cullen said quickly, stopping her before she went down a path that led nowhere good. “I, of all people, understand what it is like to say or do something when you’re unwell that you regret with your very soul. So if you want to apologize, you can do so to my wife, but you don’t ever have to apologize to me for being broken, friend.” He looked at her, his eyes serious. “All I ask is that you talk to me… just as you asked me to do with you all those years ago.” </p><p>Nodding, she squeezed his hand before standing up, smoothing her tunic and adjusting her hood. “Then let us be off- we’ve spent enough time out here, and I daresay the commander and the spymaster will be looking for us, no?” </p><p>“Good idea,” he replied, feeling his lips turn up into a smile as he stood up. “Maybe if we hurry, they won’t catch us out here.” He looked over at his friend, noting that she looked a little better than she did when they first arrived out here. “I think we need new jobs, Leli.”</p><p>In response, Leliana gave him a genuine smile, graciously taking his arm as they headed back inside. “On that, we most certainly agree.” </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>Varric found Sam reading against a tree, and decided that it was now or never. <em>The worst she can do is say no,</em> he thought to himself, then winced. <em>Well, technically that's not the worst thing she can do, but she seems to be getting along a bit better with Hawke nowadays- maybe she won't try to get Hero to nug roast him if I ask her this. </em>Taking a deep breath, he walked over to the girl, hoping that she was in a decent sort of mood. "Sparrow, can I talk to you for a minute?"</p><p>Sam closed her book, looking at him with a kind smile. "Sup? Whatcha need, Varric?" </p><p>He sat next to her on the grass, doing his best not to fidget. "Look, I need to ask you for a favor," Varric admitted. "It's for Hawke."</p><p>"This sounds ominous," she said cautiously, staring the dwarf in the eye in a way that made him slightly uncomfortable. "What kind of favor?" He started to open his mouth, but she cut him off, brandishing a finger in his face. "And don't lie to me, either- I know how you work, Varric."</p><p>Varric grinned, turning his palms up in surrender. "Guilty as charged, I can't get mad at you for that." He looked down at his hands again, then sighed. "Anders isn't well- you know that. He's going absolutely nugshit insane-"</p><p>"Like he wasn't that way before," Sam groused, crossing her arms. "What the fuck does this have to do with me?"<br/><br/>"It's that false calling," Varric continued. "We've been keeping him drugged up so he can't hear it as much, and Cole stays with him when he can, but with us all about to head to Adamant..." He let his voice trail off, hoping she'd get the hint. When he noticed her shoulders slightly slumping out of the corner of his eye, he looked up at his friend again. "It's gonna be bad, Sparrow, and we need Hawke at his best if we want to get through this." He placed a hand on her leg and she looked over at him. "Look, I know you don't like him, and I don't blame you one bit. But this isn't about him, it's about your cousin- you've seen what he was like out in the Approach, but when I got back..." Varric gave an involuntary shiver. "It's getting worse- the drugs aren't working, and even if they were, we're heading out for weeks." </p><p>"Anders won't survive that long without help," Sam said flatly. "Is that what you're telling me?" </p><p>"Yeah," Varric admitted, thinking about the bruises on Hawke's wrists and the others he probably wasn't telling him about. "Your cousin needs help, Sparrow." </p><p>She sighed then stood up, dusting off her pants. "Lead the way- I promise I won't go back on my own and murder the man. I'd rather stay here, but I need to be with him and Hawke if I want to do something about it."<br/><br/>"As long as you and Hero aren't on the hunt to make extra crispy Apostate this evening, then I think I'm fine," Varric teased. "But seriously, thank you, Sparrow- Hawke's the best friend I got, and I don't like seeing him like this."</p><p>Sam sighed, rolling her eyes. "Just... gimme five minutes," she said, glancing at her apartment. "I need to go upstairs and get some supplies."</p><p>He waited as she disappeared, and for a moment Varric wondered if she would leave him there out of spite- it wouldn't surprise him and he knew full well Anders would deserve it.  But he soon discovered his fears were unfounded when Sam reappeared with a small satchel on her back and a scowl on her face. "The only reason I'm doing this," Sam replied as they walked along, "is because it's you asking me, Varric. I know I haven't always been a good friend to you, but you've never done me wrong before and I owe you one."</p><p>"I'll take the assistance any way it comes," he said gratefully as they entered a grove of trees. "They're in this cave up ahead."</p><p>"Great," Sam grumbled. "Not only do we have a shitload of bears in Thedas, we now got apostates in caves. What's next, murder unicorns?" </p><p>"Depends- if its Thursday, then maybe," Varric said teasingly as they entered the cave. "I'm warning you in advance, be careful," he warned as they drew deeper into the cave. "Anders isn't himself-"<br/><br/>"When was that motherfucker <em>ever</em> himself," Sam snapped. "Don't worry- if he goes loco, then I'll stop time and hit him with my little friend." She patted her backpack lovingly. "Gotta love mom for sending me with enough drugs to start an empire in Thedas." She turned to Varric and grinned. "I'm actually kinda sad I have a few too many morals, cause I could've been swimming in sovereigns with this stash I got right here." </p><p>"Well, Thedas thanks you for your scruples," he said jokingly as he stared at the two huddled shapes in front of them. "You ready?"</p><p>"Course," she said, then put her hands to her mouth. "Yo, crappy fortune-teller coming through!" Sam yelled. "Tell your psycho boyfriend to keep his shit together or I'm gonna send him on a medicinal time out, ok?" </p><p>At the sound of his cousin's voice, Hawke jumped about a foot in the air. "Maker!" He looked over at her, then at Varric, then frowned. "Sam, this is not the time to have an argument... please."</p><p>"No arguments, just a house call," she said quickly, putting down her backpack and pulling out a small book. "I'm here to see if I can make you a charm so that fuckboy of yours doesn't go all MurderCult 5000 on everyone while we're gone."</p><p>"I can hear you, you know," Anders growled from the corner. "I'm not trying to murder anyone... except myself, but Hawke here won't let me." </p><p>"Well, that's because the Calling you're hearing is fake," Sam said, shivering as a breeze blew across the cold stone walls of the cave. "Since Mom did claim you as family, Hawke, I might be able to help, but it's gonna mean you're pretty much tied to el crazy over there for life- you sure you want that, Hawke?" <br/><br/>Varric sat on a log near Anders, who was facing the wall and rubbing his arms. He looked so much skinnier than he had the last time Varric had seen him- his robes were falling off him, and his cheeks were gaunt and pale. Even angry, Sam had guessed right- he wasn't going to make it too much longer. "Stay with us, Blondie," Varric said quietly, watching as Sam walked around the cave with Hawke. "She's got a plan."</p><p>"I've got one too," Anders said softly. "I want to die so he can live- this is no life for him, guarding me like this." He closed his eyes and sent a wave of healing magic over himself. "I love Hawke too much to let him suffer for me." </p><p>"Then shut up and let Sparrow work," Varric replied, shifting positions as Hawke and Sam approached. "Believe me, all Hawke wants is you at his side." He took in the determined look on his oldest friend's face, then glanced back at the mage on the ground, patting Anders gently on the shoulder. "That man gave up everything for you, Blondie," Varric said softly. "The least you can do is live for him."</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>The next few days were filled with a flurry of activity- if I thought we were in panic mode before Haven, it was nothing compared to the organized chaos before Adamant. Ali, Cullen, and Blackwall were perpetually grim, constantly training and arguing about troop formations. I’d given up on seeing any of them for the moment, considering I barely saw my husband unless I went downstairs in the middle of the night to find him passed out at his desk. In those moments, I would stop time for as long as I could, letting him get the sleep he needed without affecting his duties. It wasn’t a perfect solution and I knew I wasn’t doing him any favors, but I couldn’t let him burn himself out- he’d come too far to slip back into his old habits and nightmares. I’d taken to popping into his office ever so often and leaving him a cup of hot chocolate or something quick to eat, only to earn a sheepish grin and a quick peck on the cheek as he realized his mistake. </p><p>Above all, I was trying desperately to check his paths, constantly trying to reassure myself that my family would be okay. What worried me most, though, was Ali- his branches were strange, even for him, and these branches twisted my guts in knots every time I checked them. The paths were strange- it was complete darkness in the middle, which I understood to mean a fixed point, but what was strange was the <em>after</em>. Every time I tried to look, I’d see that darkness, but there were three shimmering paths behind it, and that was new to me- I reasoned that there was a decision that was there, but no one knew what it was so there was no choice to be had. When I scanned Lana, I saw the same thing, except there were only two of the shimmery paths- it was making me more and more nervous by the day, but there was nothing I could do. </p><p>One day, I was sitting on the fence with my bag of Jolly Ranchers and watching Ali lead drills in the training yard when I heard a tentative throat clear behind me. Startled, I turned around, only to see a young soldier standing nervously behind me. “Sorry… I don’t mean to bother you, but you’re the Savior, right?” </p><p>Exhausted from searching threads and fighting back the urge to snap over the ridiculous title, I smiled and looked over the man. He couldn’t be any older than twenty, and his thin frame was packed with solid muscle from days spent outdoors. The blond hair on his head was dark with sweat, and his stance was still guarded as if he was supposed to be somewhere other than talking to me. Eventually, I decided to take pity on him and smiled at the young man. “I’m Sam,” I replied politely, wiping my hand on my pants and extending it to him. “Pleased to meet you, uh…”</p><p>The man instantly stood up, giving me a hasty salute. “The name is Harris, ma’am,” he stammered, looking at my hand with wide eyes. “It’s... it’s an honor to meet you, Savior!” </p><p>Not wanting to make him any more uncomfortable than he already was, I sighed, extending the bag of candy to him. “Again, the name is Sam… would you like some candy, Harris? Makes these conversations a lot smoother when we have a tasty treat to share… at least, I think it does.” I smiled at him, rattling the candies in the bag and taking another for myself, unwrapping the plastic from the watermelon-flavored candy and dropping it back in the bag. “The blue ones are my favorite,” I said with a stage whisper as I took the paper off and handed it to him. “Try it and let me know what you think.” </p><p>Wordlessly, the stunned young man took the candy, popping it in his mouth and mirroring my movements. “Maker! This is… amazing!” He looked at me, eyes wide, then leaned toward my ear. “Is this how you do your magic, Sa-“ He started to say that damn title again, but I gave him a stern look and he instantly corrected himself. “Is this part of your magic, Sam?”</p><p>Making a show of looking around the field, I put a finger to my lips, then grinned at the young soldier. “You should probably keep that quiet- I can’t have all my secrets getting around, can I?”</p><p>He shook his head rapidly, then straightened up immediately, trying his best to look as if nothing had happened. “N-no, certainly not!” </p><p>Giggling, I turned to face the nervous recruit. “I doubt you snuck all the way over here to share a piece of candy with me, now did you?” Pausing for a moment to hear the voice in my head, I gave the young man a smile. "Warden Alistair seems to be concerned about you sneaking away from training, Harris, so how about you tell me what’s on your mind?"</p><p>If his eyes could’ve run off his face, they would’ve. “I… I just wanted to thank you,” he stammered. “My brother… was at Haven. He said you came and brewed a potion that saved him when he got injured in the mountain pass.” He turned away, and his voice got a little stronger. "If it weren’t for you, I’d have lost the only family I have left… so I needed to tell you how much that meant to me."</p><p>“Harris, you never have to thank me for something like that,” I said, patting him on his hand. Instantly, I got a vision of him on the battlefield, rushing in front of another young man, receiving an arrow in the chest for his heroics. My face went pale and I swallowed, grateful for the candy in my mouth and it’s sugar to soothe the lump in my throat. “You’ve decided to join the troops at Adamant, haven’t you?”</p><p>He nodded proudly. “Aye. I’m from Ferelden,” he said quickly. “Warden Alistair and the Hero saved me and my brother from Lothering.”</p><p>His words were like a knife in my gut, and I tried to smile at the young man who’s path was short yet so blinding it brought a tear to my eye.   “Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked carefully, trying not to give anything away- this battle was going to be tense enough without me monkeying about with destiny. “You’re young, Harris… there’s a lot of other things you can do besides joining the front lines.”</p><p>“Compared to what you and the Inquisitor do every day, this is nothing,” the soldier said proudly. "I owe the wardens my life- whatever I can do to save them, I will.” He pointed to a man in formation, a huge smile on his face. “That’s my brother over there,” he said. “Fighting alongside him and serving my country is the greatest honor I could ever hope for. I’ve seen the blight first hand,” he said darkly. “It took our mother, our father, and our youngest sister. The only reason my brother and I are alive today is because of the wardens- if they are lost, we all are lost.” Now his face took on a hard look, and he appeared a lot older than my initial estimates. “I… just wanted to ask you a favor, if I may,” he whispered. Suddenly, a throat cleared in the distance- Harris whirled around and grimaced when he saw a stern-faced Ali staring at him. “But if I’m being impertinent-“ </p><p>“It’s no trouble,” I said, trying to avoid crying in front of anyone- the sooner I ended this conversation, the sooner I could get out of here. “Ask your question, Harris.”</p><p>“Will you look out for my brother?” He asked, staring at the younger man training fiercely with a sword on the battlefield. “He’s all I have, Sa… I mean, Sam,” he said quickly. “I know you’ve already done it once before, but if you could find it in your heart to do it again-“</p><p>The lump in my throat felt like it was growing into a boulder and Ali frowned when he noticed my face. “Harris,” I said honestly, noticing that the man in my vision was indeed the same one he had just pointed out to me, “I couldn’t do anything that you’ll do a million times better.” Quickly, I froze time, taking a minute to wipe my eyes and get my face together before I looked at him again. “But yes,” I said as I resumed time, “I can do that for you.” </p><p>“Thank the Maker,” he breathed, looking as if a ton of bricks had been lifted from his chest. “Well met, Sam… I’ll never forget this.” Then he gave me a wide smile, pointing to the bag of candy. “And your secret is safe with me.”</p><p>Smiling back, I gave him a soft kiss on the cheek, causing a few recruits to miss their moves and get whacked with practice swords. “Anytime, Harris.” </p><p>He looked at me with awe, then held his hand to his face, racing back to the other recruits that were eagerly awaiting a full report from our interaction. Feeling exhausted and drained, I shook my head and hopped off the fence, trying to hurry back to my quarters without anyone else stopping me. I would’ve just disappeared, but seeing as I was already in the spotlight, I didn’t want to do anything to add to it. </p><p>No sooner than I had gotten out of view of the training grounds, I felt a prickle in my head. <em>Sparrow, are you ok?</em> Ali asked softly. <em>What was all that about?</em></p><p><em>No</em>, I answered as I broke out into a run and headed for my quarters, <em>I’m not okay. I am so far from okay that okay is living in a different country right now without a forwarding address and a do not disturb sign on their door. </em></p><p>
  <em>Sparrow, wait-</em>
</p><p><em>No,</em> I spat back, not even trying to fight the tears in my eyes. <em>You have to train them, Ali. Make sure they all come back- every goddamn one of them, ok?</em></p><p><em>That’s not going to happen,</em> he replied sadly.<em> I love you to the moon and back, but you know I can’t promise you something like that, Sparrow.</em></p><p><em>Then figure out a fucking way to make it happen!</em> I screamed, flinging open the door to my apartment. The door hit the wall with a loud bang, making Cullen jump as I raced inside, climbing up the ladder without a word to him or the soldiers at his desk. “If you can’t save them, then what fucking good are you!” </p><p>Ignoring the calls in my head, I flung myself on the mattress, letting loose a torrent of tears. As I cried, I realized for the first time why my husband was always lost in thought, why he was always staying up till the last possible minute, trying to work every single angle out in his head. He wasn’t seeing numbers or ranks when he made plans- he was seeing Harris and others like him. A single loss was unacceptable to me, but he had to plan out who was likely to live or die, give an order that sent someone’s son, their daughter, their sister, their brother, out on that battlefield, never to come home. How he could sleep at night, dealing with something like that, was beyond my comprehension. </p><p><em>Maybe that’s why he doesn’t,</em> I thought to myself. <em>Maybe every time he closes his eyes, he sees them, too. </em></p><p>In the edges of my mind, I heard the door close, then I heard the soft creaks of someone climbing the ladder, and finally felt the weight of someone sitting on the bed next to me. “Sam,” Cullen said softly, rubbing his hand on my back. “Please, talk to me.”</p><p>“You don’t have time!” I cried, pointing back downstairs. “Go plan! Please, do something, anything! You’re the best strategist I know,” I whimpered, burying my face deeper in the pillow. “If anyone can think of something, it’s you!” </p><p>I felt his hand pause on my back, then felt strong arms pulling me up to look at him. “Love,” he said quietly, running a hand over my tear-stained face, “what’s this all about?”</p><p>“They’re going to <em>die</em>,” I said, feeling more panicked than I ever had in my life. “All those men we have and I can see who’s not coming back, Cullen! It’s… It’s…” Exhausted, I buried myself in his chest, inhaling the scent of leather, sun, sweat, polish, and pine coming from his armor. “How are you not insane, Cullen? How are you not out of your goddamn mind right now?” </p><p>“You,” he said simply, pressing a heavy arm into my back as he placed a kiss on the top of my head. “Because I need to be here for you. I need to make these decisions so people like you don’t have to,” he said quietly. “That’s my burden, Sam, and if I have to take it so you never have to feel a single minute of it, then that’s what I’m going to do.”  He sighed, then squeezed me even tighter. “Everyone in that army feels the same way, darling- we’re all fighting so the ones we love don’t have to. We know there’s a chance we won’t come back, but if it means that the ones we love are safe…” He trailed off, kissing my head once more. “If we can keep them safe, then it was worth it.” </p><p>Before I could protest, I thought about Harris again, and how his request wasn’t that I keep him safe, but that I watch over his brother instead, and I felt that lump rise up in my throat again. “I never want to see this again,” I said softly. “These are decisions no one should have to make, Cullen.”</p><p>“That’s why we’re fighting,” he said softly, rubbing my back and rocking me back and forth. “And after each battle is over, we hope to never do it again.” </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Adamantly Shifting Blame</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The trip to Adamant is not easy</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Bonus posting!</p><p>While I lay on the couch all day and play everyone's favorite game, "Cold or COVID", I figured let's have another chapter while we wait- enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>The march to Adamant was grueling. They were making good time, but Lana noticed that the closer they drew to the battle, the more her sister withdrew into herself, growing quieter by the day. Lana could tell Sam wasn't eating much or sleeping, but whenever she’d try to talk to her about it, she would shake her head and wander off, leaving Lana alone with her thoughts. She'd tried to be patient, but after the fourth time this happened, Bull came over to her. “Squirt’s not doing so well, Boss,” he said in that low rumbling voice. “We’ve been keeping an eye out for her, but if she doesn’t get some sleep soon, she’s not going to be a stitch of good to anyone.” He fixed Lana with a look, then crossed his arms as he stared out over the sea of troops. “Might want to do something about it. I hear you mages have spells that can make people sleep… wouldn't be the worst thing if someone hit her with one.” </p><p>“She wouldn’t forgive me, Bull,” Lana said softly. “Who knows what’s going on in her head- trapping her with it may very well make it worse.” </p><p>“Then maybe you might be able to get some insight on that,” he said quietly, looking over at the warden. “Seeing as she isn’t talking to Ali or Dorian right now, they might be interested in helping you out.” He sighed as they watched Sam reappear next to the lake, her dark fluttering in the breeze as she held her head in her hands. “Hate to say it, but I think the Commander is too lost in his own shit to even see how far gone she is… but you do.”</p><p>“What am I supposed to do?” she asked, staring out at her sister. “Every time I try, she shuts me out, Bull. It’s also pretty hard to force someone who can hop through time and space to sit still for a conversation they want no part of.”</p><p>“True.” Bull looked thoughtful for a moment, then patted Lana on the shoulder. “But just cause it’s hard doesn’t mean you quit trying.” He gave Lana a smile and a crushing hug before heading off to his tent for the night. “Just remember… even heroes need help too, Boss.”</p><p>With a sigh, Lana grabbed a few things and cast a silence spell over herself, hoping Sam wouldn’t hear her approach. Praying that her ring would have no energy and her sister wouldn’t run from her again, she sat down next to her sister, draping the old green blanket over her shoulders. “Figured I should finally return this,” she said softly. “Looks like you could use it more than I.” </p><p>Wordlessly, Sam accepted the familiar blanket, looking up at Lana. After a few more silent moments, she extended a corner of the fabric to Lana, placing the blanket around both of them before pulling the other corner to her chest and resting on her sister's shoulder. “Thanks,” she whispered, closing her eyes. “I just… I just need a minute, Lana Banana,” she said tiredly. “Would you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?” </p><p>“You’re not sleeping alone up here,” Lana said gently. “Let’s go to my tent and curl up together… maybe even have a glass of hot chocolate and a call with Grace?” She rubbed Sam’s shoulders, trying hard not to remark on what she was sure were tears - she was terrified that if she brought it up, Sam would try to run away again. “Besides, I didn’t bring any pillows with me,” she joked.</p><p>“I’m not putting Ali out of his tent,” Sam whispered. “It’s okay… you don’t have to do this, Lana. I…” her voice trailed off and it was a few moments before she spoke again. “I just wanted to be away from everyone for a while.”</p><p>“Well that settles it, then,” Lana said, standing up and extending her hand to Sam. “Since my tent is the furthest away from everyone, then we’re taking my tent- end of story.”</p><p>Sam just looked at her wearily, but eventually nodded, taking Lana's hand and rising to her feet, still wrapped together in the blanket to fight the chill. They were both silent as they walked down the hill, but Lana could swear she saw her sister’s lips moving as her eyes roamed over the campground. Casting a small amplification spell, she felt a chill run through her body as the words Sam was uttering fluttered up to her ears.</p><p>
  <em>Dead, dead, wounded, dead, lives, defects, dead, wounded, lives…lives, wounded, lives…</em>
</p><p><em>She’s seeing their fates,</em> Lana thought with dread<em>. Every single one of them.</em></p><p>Looking back, Lana realized her distress made a sad sort of sense- Sam had no true experience with war. At Haven, there’d been no time, Sam hadn’t fought at Ostagar, and in the final battle of Denerim, she was partnered with Lana, draining her reserves dry in an effort to save everyone on their team. For all their battles, they’d had wounded, but no casualties.</p><p><em>Well, besides Riordan and I,</em> she thought grimly. </p><p>“Shhh,” she whispered, pulling the blanket tighter over her sister’s shoulders. “Let’s go shut this out for a while, shall we?” She hurried to her tent, ignoring the worried looks from Dorian and Cass as they rushed past them. She might go back and explain, but right now, getting Sam away from everyone was more important- she could handle anything else later. </p><p>When she got the girl inside, Ali was there- his head snapped up when they entered, looking first at Lana, then at Sam with confusion. “Sparrow?” His voice was full of concern as Lana got her settled in the bed, casting a silence spell around the tent. “Love, what happened to her?”</p><p><em>Can I tell him?</em> Lana asked, stroking Sam’s hair. <em>If you don’t want me to, then I won’t… but I need you to stay here, Sam- you need rest. </em></p><p><em>Do what you want,</em> she said sadly, turning away from her and burying herself in the blanket. <em>I don’t care what happens… I’m just glad it’s finally quiet, Lana- it’s been so loud I can’t sleep, can’t move without hearing everyone, everywhere. </em></p><p>Lana let out a strangled sob and her hand flew to her mouth, realizing just how much pain her sister had to have been in over the last few weeks.<em> Oh, Sam,</em> she thought, pulling her sister close to her. <em>If I knew that’s what was happening…</em> </p><p>"He has to be there," she said out loud, too exhausted to even answer in her mind. "They’re relying on him. But when he’s not there, the voices are <em>so</em> loud… I just want it to stop- I don’t want to see anymore. I… want it to be <em>quiet</em>, Lana. I’m tired of hearing them."</p><p>“Shh…Sam, I’d never do this without your permission, but…” she swallowed nervously. “Do you want me to put you to sleep? Would that help you?”</p><p>“Long as I’m not alone,” she said, rolling over and looking at Lana. “Cause I’ll be honest... if I’m alone again…” </p><p>Realizing what Sam wasn’t saying, Lana nodded and hugged her sister, wrapping the blanket around her as she tucked her into the cot. “I’ll be right here,” she said. “If it’s not me, it’ll be Ali. If it isn’t him, it’ll be Cullen… I don’t care if I have to go down the whole damn inner circle, but I can promise you this, Sam… when you wake up, you’ll not be alone.”</p><p>“As long as you don’t include Vivienne in that rotation,” Sam said with a weak smile, “then you have a deal, Lana Banana.”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>Alistair was silent as he watched the sisters, feeling a sense of dread as Sam drifted off to sleep and Lana sat up, wiping her eyes. “What the hell just happened? Did she just say what I think she did? Why would she say such a thing?” </p><p>Lana shook her head, resting a hand on Sam’s shoulder and leaning over to hear her slow, deep breaths. “Sam can’t sleep out there, Ali.”  She swallowed, and Alistair felt the air change again- he assumed she’d cast another spell over them to muffle the noise. “She’s seeing their fates,” she whispered. “All of them.” </p><p>He started to protest, then he remembered Sam's conversation with him after she'd spoken to the soldier. “Maker…” he looked over at the sleeping girl, and realized that Sam looked exhausted- he doubted she’d slept much since they left Skyhold. “Does Cullen know?”</p><p>His wife sighed. “I doubt it- he’s been so wrapped up in plans that I don’t think he’s noticed anything.” Lana looked over at Sam, then stroked her back. “Other than not having her here, which isn’t an option, the only thing I can think of is to keep her away from everyone except us.”</p><p>Ali felt a growl rise in his throat, but he bit it back, giving his wife a curt nod instead. “Stay here with her," he said tersely. “I’ll be right back.” </p><p>Lana gave him a curious look, cocking her head in his direction as she settled in bed. “Where are you going?” </p><p>“To discuss plans,” he answered honestly, leaning over to place a kiss to her lips, then on Sam’s now sleeping head. “I’ll be back in a moment, so if you could get me a pallet on the floor ready, I’d appreciate it. I'll take your flattest of pillows and your scratchiest of blankets, please.” </p><p>She didn't smile but gave him another look, hoping he'd give her more information. When he didn’t elaborate anymore, his wife simply nodded. “Sorry about the sudden company," she apologized, "but I figured you would understand.” </p><p>"You know me so well, love." He gave her a genuine smile, then kissed her on the cheek. “I'll be back shortly- stay with her, ok?” </p><p>His smile lasted until he got out of the tent, hearing the roar of the camp rushing back to him. Feeling that snarl of anger rising in his throat, he stormed toward the command tent, hearing the noise from soldiers every which way he turned. </p><p>“Ali, what in the <em>blazes</em> is going on?” Dorian asked, racing toward him with Cassandra hot on his heels and stopping short when he saw the look on his face. “We just saw Lana and Sam-“</p><p>Angrily, Ali cut him off, pointing at his tent. “Cass, go to my tent and stand in front of it. If anyone that is not on Team Mage even <em>breathes</em> near that damnable tent, find a way to set them on <em>fire</em>- do I make myself clear?”</p><p>Taken aback by the harsh tone, Cass just blinked, then nodded. “I’ll see to it that Lana and Sam are not disturbed,” she said quietly. Then she reached out and placed a hand on his arm. “Are you all right, Alistair?” </p><p>“No,” he growled. “I most certainly am not all right, and I would like to not take it out on anyone who doesn’t deserve it,” he replied, trying not to shake with rage. “Please Cass, as my friend, just do me that favor."</p><p>Wordlessly, she headed to the tent, leaving Ali and Dorian standing there. “So," Dorian asked, looking at Alistair with concern, "are you going to try to bite my head off too, or shall we talk like decent human beings, Ali?” </p><p>“Sparrow isn’t well,” he said flatly. “She’s been slowly going mad these last few weeks, and that ignorant sonofabitch up there didn’t notice!” He pointed his finger at the command tent angrily. “He should’ve known!”</p><p>“Did you?”</p><p>Dorian’s words hit him like a bucket of ice, forcing him to stop in his tracks. Vibrating with rage, he turned to his friend, trying to stop his fists from clenching at his sides. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw the fluttering of black wings heading toward his tent, but he couldn’t process it. “Did… I… what?”</p><p>Undaunted, his friend just stared at him, his hands crossed over his chest. “Did you know? You’re her brother, Ali- you communicate in her head all day long, you’ve known her almost as long as he has, and you spend even more time with her than he does.” Dorian's demeanor and tone were so calm that it made Ali even more furious. When he didn't respond, the Altus leaned over in his face, not bothering to raise his voice. “So, while you’re going around roaring your fool head off, I’ll ask you again…. Did you know what was wrong? Are you mad at him for not noticing, or are you mad at yourself for not being bothered to see what you believed didn’t concern you and your wife?”</p><p>“Dorian,” Ali said in a shaky voice, “Please know that you are one of my dearest friends, but right now is not the time to do this,” he warned. “This is not a fight you want to wade into, Pavus."</p><p>“Oh, I think it is,” he said calmly, not moving or flinching. “Tell me… is it easier for you to dismiss her as his problem because she shares his last name? Have you not noticed the way she disappears whenever people are around? Have you not seen her sitting up all night, walking past the fire, and talking to herself?” He put a finger to his lips, then stared up at the sky before turning his icy stare back at Ali. “Oh that’s right, you <em>don’t</em> notice! But Bull and I have! Who do you think got your lovely wife to try to talk her down today, because if I recall correctly, it wasn’t you, that’s for damn sure!” </p><p>Ali felt his face going red, and he was practically seething with anger, but the Altus wasn’t done. “So, you want to go in there and storm the Commander’s tent to vent your frustrations about your sister? Fine- be my guest! That lout is absolutely deserving of a thrashing since he should’ve been the first to see it! But when you’re done, you better make <em>damn</em> sure to wallop yourself upside the head a few times, because you’re just as much to blame, you insensitive bastard!” </p><p>Before he could do anything else, he felt large arms pulling him back, and bucked in the grip of whoever was holding him. “Let me <em>go!</em>” Alistair bellowed, sick with rage. “Get off me!”</p><p>“‘Fraid I can’t do that,” Bull said quietly. “But I am gonna need you to calm down, because you’re both causing a damn scene right now.” He looked over the camp, only to see a very angry Cullen storming over to him. Bull noticed at the same time he did, holding Ali even tighter and clearing his throat. “Commander," Bull warned, "I wouldn’t be over here right now if I were you.” </p><p>“The hell you say!” Cullen roared. “I’ve got people running over left and right talking about how the <em>Grey Warden</em> and a member of the <em>Inner Circle</em> are out here damn near engaged in fisticuffs just as I’m planning a siege on a fortress!”  He pointed at Ali angrily, causing the anger in his chest to surge to a boil. “You <em>know</em> better!” Cullen hissed, leaning in Ali’s face. “You’ve seen-“</p><p>That was the wrong word to say to him right then- before Ali knew it, he'd reared back and head-butted his friend in the face, causing Cullen to stagger back. “Shut the fuck up!” Ali roared, glaring at the Commander. “Don’t you <em>dare</em> talk to me about what someone has seen, you pompous prick! This is all your fault, Cullen!” He was infinitely grateful he didn’t have his sword because he couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t have used it on the man right then and there. “If she’d hurt herself, how long would it have fucking taken you to notice?” </p><p>Holding a hand to his head, Cullen went still as he stared at Alistair, his voice coming out tight and strained. “<em>Excuse</em> me?” </p><p>Bull let out a sigh. “We’re going to my tent,” he said in a weary tone that brokered no argument. "Follow me."</p><p>Ali was silent as he followed the Quinari, trying his best not to strangle the other two men keeping pace with him. “Bull,” he said he approached the tent, “I’m… I’m just gonna go- I need to check on Lana and Sparrow.”</p><p>“No,” Bull said simply, placing a meaty hand on his shoulder and guiding him inside the tent. “You wanted to talk, you’re gonna do it. But what you two are <em>not</em> gonna do is show those troops out there that their leadership is over here losing their fucking minds… do I make myself clear?” </p><p>“Bull,” Cullen said stiffly, “I appreciate your intervention, but you have no right-“</p><p>The Quinari looked at the Commander and crossed his arms. “Respectfully, I’m gonna need you to sit down and shut the fuck up… Commander.” When Cullen’s face got red, Bull just shrugged. “After we finish here, you can get as mad as you want to. But for right now, you both need to listen to Dorian before either of you say another word, understand?” </p><p>The two men nodded, and Bull inclined his head at the Altus, who stood in the corner of the tent, glaring at the two men. “Our Sam is not well,” he said angrily. “No one has been able to get through to her since we started on this blasted journey.” Ali stole a glance at Cullen, only to watch the commander's face settle into an unreadable mask. “She won’t eat and she doesn’t sleep- I’ve taken to casting a sleeping spell on her ever so often to get her to get some rest, but it’s hasn't been enough- she wakes up in the middle of the night and paces around the camp, muttering to herself. If you try to talk to her, she just gives you that fake smile and disappears until we’re on the move again, then the cycle repeats.” He looked up at Bull, who nodded. “I had Bull talk to Lana about it today, to see if something could be done-“</p><p>“She’s my wife,” Cullen said quietly. “Why didn’t you bring it to me?” </p><p>“Because you sleep with her every night,” Dorian spat as he sat down on a nearby stool. “If you didn’t notice it first, you were never going to notice, Cullen.” </p><p>Cullen flinched, but the warden just let out a long sigh. “She’s hearing too many voices…” Ali admitted, looking down at the floor. "Lana says she knows the fate of almost every person out there.” There was a strangled gasp from his right, and Ali felt his shoulders droop as he held his head in his hands. “She says she can’t sleep out there… it’s too loud and whenever she’s alone, Sam says that’s all she can hear.” Unable to look at anyone, Ali continued to stare at the floor. “If it weren’t for Bull getting Lana to calm her down…” </p><p>“Where is she now?” Cullen asked, causing Ali to raise his head. He thought he’d still be angry at his friend, but he found that he wasn’t- instead, the warden was left with an emotional type of exhaustion, one he hadn’t felt since he was on the road and alone, and he watched carefully as Cullen put his hands to his head, his eyes tired. “I need to see my wife, please.” </p><p>“She’s resting,” Ali said firmly. “For the time being, she’s staying with us. Lana cast a sleeping spell over her and warded our tent, and Cassandra is outside standing guard- no one is getting in unless we say so.”</p><p>Cullen’s eyes narrowed. “I know you two mean well, but I’m not going to let you keep my wife there, Alistair.” </p><p>“And why not?” Alistair felt that anger rising back up again. “She doesn’t want to be alone- we can stay with her. She can’t handle the noise- her sister can keep her from it. Face it, Rutherford- right now, you can not keep your wife safe, so let her be with those who can!"</p><p>“Alistair Theirin,” Cullen said evenly, looking Alistair the eye and giving him a look of pure fury as he spoke. “Make no mistake, you are my brother. I would fight for you, I would take a blade for you, and I would ride into battle at your side without a second of hesitation.” Alistair crossed his arms, glaring at the man and trying to see what crazy thing was about to pop out of his mouth. “But Sam is my wife… <em>not</em> yours. You seem to forget that your duty is to Lana… not Samantha.”</p><p>“My <em>duty</em>,” Ali spat the word back at the commander as if it tasted bad, “is to <em>both</em> of them. Samantha is my sister,” he said pointedly. “I’m sorry that we all didn’t grow up with boatloads of family members that we could just abandon at a moment’s notice, but that woman was the only family I’ve had for the past ten years,” he said firmly, staring his friend down. “I’m sorry it bothers you that she has room in her heart for both of us, but I’m <em>never</em> sorry for loving her, Cullen.” He sighed, realizing that this was going too far and for the wrong reasons, so he tried something else. “I want to keep her safe, just as you do- nothing more. Trust me,” he said, hoping the other man was willing to listen, “you are her heart, Cullen, and that is what makes me so angry right now- how did you not notice that we were so close to losing her? I let her be because I knew you’re there to watch over her- it should never take her friends to tell us what her family should have seen.” Then he turned to Dorian, knowing that he owed the mage an apology. “I’m sorry,” he said sadly, “I didn’t mean-“</p><p>“Stop right there,” Dorian said, holding up a hand. “We don’t need to do that- I understand what’s going on... I just needed you to understand it,” he said quietly. “You are just as responsible for her as he is, Alistair. He may share her bed, but you share her heart, warden- both of you need to prove yourself worthy of that honor.” </p><p>"I endeavor to," Cullen said sadly, looking over at Alistair, who nodded. "Thank you all... for everything."<br/><br/>"My pleasure," Dorian replied, getting up from his chair and heading to the entrance of the tent. "Now, let's stop acting like morons and figure out what we can do for that stubborn girl of ours out there."</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“That was a close one, kid,” a male voice said to me. “You feelin’ all right now?”</p><p>Opening my eyes, I looked over and noticed I was in a tiny bed, with the expanse of space beckoning outside the window. The room was metallic, outlined with strange posters and alien animal heads, and a clock with a giant moon was looming over me from the other side of the room. Shifting carefully, I turned over and noticed a tall man leaning over a chair, wearing khaki pants and boots, with a white t-shirt peeking out from beneath the brown leather jacket. His dark hair was falling in his face, and while his lips were turned up in a crooked smile, his strange grey eyes were staring kindly at me. “Who are you?” I croaked, feeling like my throat was on fire. “Where am I? I’ve never been here before.” </p><p>He didn’t answer me- he just shook his head. “I never thought about what that day looked like from this side of the room,” he mused. Then he leaned his elbows over the back of the chair, staring at me with a wistful smile. “You look a lot like her, you know.” </p><p>“Like who?” I asked curiously. “And you still haven’t answered my questions!” </p><p>I tried to get up, but he got up from his seat, gently holding me down. His hand was cold, almost icy, causing me to shiver at his touch. “Sorry about that,” he said, looking at his hand and giving me an apologetic smile. “I forgot how that feels to people.” Then he gestured to the bed, and I laid back down, looking at him intently. “You need to rest, Sam- it wasn’t looking too good for you out there.” </p><p>“But where is <em>here?</em>” I asked, trying to figure out if I’d seen this man before- he felt familiar, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on why.</p><p>Though he was certainly strange, I could tell that he was safe, so lacking a better option at the moment, I decided to rest in the tiny bunk and the man leaned back, shaking his head. “Law knows what your mom would’ve done if something happened to you out there.” </p><p>“You know my mom?” I asked tentatively. When he nodded with a smile, I frowned. “But who are you? And how do you know her?”</p><p>“You can call me the pilot,” he said with an affable smile. “I was hired a long, long time ago to do a job, and I think my contract is coming to a close.” He got up from the bed, settling back in the chair. “Though, seeing how well you’re doing out here, I’m wondering if I might need to renegotiate my terms."</p><p>I stared at the pilot, confusion on my face. “You still haven’t told me where I am,” I said, gesturing to the room. “I’ve never seen this place before, so how the hell did I get here?”</p><p>“You’re in my part of the between,” he said simply. “Or fade, whatever you guys call it out there… but you and I both know what it does.” </p><p>Looking around the room once more, a realization was starting to creep in my brain. “This… this is a <em>gateway</em>," I stammered. "You’re a gatekeeper,” I said in a low voice, trying to fight down my panic. “Wait… are you here to take me home?” </p><p>“If that’s really what you want.” He shrugged, then pointed to a glass of tea on the table. “Long as you drink that to forget everything first.” </p><p>I eyed him curiously, propping myself up on my elbows. “Forget what?” I tried to wrack my brain for what my mom had said about the gatekeeper, but I couldn’t find a single thing in my memory that seemed like it would be relevant. “What would I have to forget?”</p><p>“Everything,” he said casually. “We’d go back to when you first started looking for Grace. Can’t revoke half a pass, you know- gotta take back the whole thing.” </p><p>“Wait, you mean I’d never have come here? Never met Cullen? Or Lana? Or Ali?” I shook my head furiously, instantly regretting the motion but not caring. “If I didn’t meet them, I wouldn’t have saved Grace! No, I can’t go back- there’s too much that has to happen!” </p><p>The pilot laughed, settling back in the chair and folding his arms behind his head. “You really are like your mom, you know that? Well, the version I used to know, at least.” He gave me a look that sent a chill over my spine. “She was squeamish over threads like that, too, but she didn’t give up.” He scoffed. “Must be the human part of you, I guess.”</p><p>“Fuck you,” I huffed, crossing my arms. “You don’t hear them. You don’t know what it’s like, to hear their fate and see their faces, knowing who’s gonna come back and who’s not! You just travel from world to world- you don’t have to live through any of this!” Frustrated, I pointed to my chest. “But I do!”</p><p>“And yet, you don’t want to forget,” he said, leaning forward in the chair and staring at me. “That sounds like a conundrum to me, kid.”</p><p>“Leave me alone,” I whispered, looking down at my knees. “Just let me go back to sleep for a few hours so I can try to deal with this shit tomorrow.”</p><p>“I can’t do that,” he said sadly. “I promised your mom I’d keep an eye on you when she couldn’t, and right now it looks like you need someone. So,” he said, getting up from his seat, “I’m here, Sam.”</p><p>“I don’t know you,” I said bitterly, glaring at the tall man standing next to the bed. “Why would you help me?”</p><p>“You know me,” he said with a laugh. “You’ve known me for a long time, and I’ve watched you do some amazing things, kid. This…” he looked around sadly, then turned back to me. “I know it hurts, but it’s a speed bump, Sam- I need you to buckle up, cause you've got a long way to go, and you’re gonna hit a few more.” When I frowned, he smiled, gesturing to my hand. “It’s your ring, kid… coupled with your sister’s mark, it’s making things stronger…. Like the voices. Something's going on out there that's got everyone on edge.” I paused and the pilot nodded, walking over to the desk. "C'mon, kid, I know you've noticed everyone's been actin' a bit squirrely around here... didn't that strike you as a little bit weird?"</p><p>Shocked, I stared at my hand, seeing the crystal pulsate with that sickening green light. “No,” I whispered. “I don’t understand…”</p><p>“There’s something nasty coming,” he said, looking at a tablet he’d picked up from the desk behind him. “But then, you already saw that… didn’t you?” When I stared at him with surprise, he laughed. “I’ll give you a freebie,” the pilot said as he walked over and sat next to me on the bed. “Take that ring off till you get ready to go with your sister… long as you don’t touch anyone, that should chill some of the voices out.”</p><p>“Why are you telling me about my future?” I asked curiously, letting out a deep yawn that made the pilot laugh. “Doesn’t that always come with a price? I didn’t agree to anything… I know I didn’t!”</p><p>“Calm down,” the pilot said. “I can choose what I want to do- one of the perks of being dead is that I exist outside your little watcher rules,” he said with a smirk. “Besides, I ain't scared of your mom- she wasn’t always as puffed up as she is now, kid, trust me. Looks like she's learned a lot over the years.” </p><p>Trying to pin down when and where this man might be from, I narrowed my eyes. “When did you meet Mom?” </p><p>“When she first tried on being human again for size,” he answered, sending me reeling with shock- if that was truly the case, then this man was ancient. “Kid said she needed a guide, so I threw my lot in with the tiny murdering space hobo… been with her ever since.” </p><p>Something about the way he said that last part made me realize that the conversation, though interesting, was the beginning of the end and I sighed, laying back against the pillows. “Will you stay with me?” I asked the pilot. “Can you keep me company… just until I fall asleep again?” </p><p>He chuckled, and when he nodded I leaned my head against his side, the coolness of his body soothing my aching body. “You are so much like your mom,” he said with a smile, his cold fingers running across my aching temples. “I swear. if I didn’t know better…” Then he sighed, shaking his head and running his hand up and down my shoulders. "So, talk to me," he said softly. "Judging by your letters, looks like you enjoyed those Harry Potter books, huh? Bringing fine literature to Thedas, I see." </p><p>I gave him a smirk as I snuggled into the covers. "Since when did Gatekeepers start boning up on pop culture?"</p><p>The pilot just huffed, poking me gently in the side. "When you've existed as long as I have, you learn to find ways to pass the time." In response, I giggled and placed my head on the pillow, sighing as the pilot stroked my hair like mom or dad would whenever I was little and had trouble going to sleep. "Humor me- who was your favorite character?" </p><p>"That's a tough one," I said, closing my eyes. "I always wanted to be as smart as Hermoine, but if I'm honest, I'm probably closer to Ron- loyal to a fault, but kind of a mess." When he laughed, I opened an eye. "What about you? Got a secret hankering to be a Potter character?"</p><p>"I was just trying to get you to relax, not have a nerd debate," the pilot said with a grin. "Go to sleep, kid."</p><p>"Nope," I said, adjusting myself to sit up a little bit more. "You should know better than to start something like that with the queen of the nerds- you're not getting out of here without an answer, Mr. Pilot."</p><p>"Fine, if it'll shut you up, I'll answer." He paused, his hand resting on my shoulder. "If I had to choose, I'd say Sirius." I started to chuckle, but he just smiled. "And if we're thinking about it, you're a lot more like Harry than you think, kid- you certainly get into enough trouble, that's for damn sure." </p><p>"Can't argue with you on that point," I replied. "Kinda nice to have someone other than Lana that understands about things back home- stupid as it sounds, it makes me feel a little safer."</p><p>"I figured," he replied, settling me back down in bed and covering me with the blanket. “But, I've answered your question, so its time for you to get some sleep, kid." When I started to protest, he put up a finger. "Don't worry- as long as I’m here, nothing’s gonna touch you… that’s a promise."</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>Alistair looked over at his wife, who was holding his hand as they looked out over the troops. She’d tried to fight against him going with her, but each time Lana protested he felt himself return to Denerim, to that day when he almost wasn’t by his wife's side when the end came. Alistair shut down her protests every time, sometimes a bit more forcefully than necessary, and in the end, Lana had relented, forming them into three teams- Bull was leading a secondary assault with Cole and Sera, while Blackwall, Solas, and Vivienne were assisting the troops. That left Sam, Varric, Hawke, Cass, Dorian, and Lana with him to lead the main charge, but Alistair couldn’t help but feel deep in his gut that something was going to go wrong today. </p><p>He was so lost in his thoughts that he jumped about a foot when he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Sorry,” Cullen said quietly as he emerged from behind him. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” Ali gave the commander a nod, watching as Cullen began to rub the back of his neck. “Take a walk with me, Alistair?”</p><p>Alistair nodded, squeezing Lana’s hand before he followed behind Cullen, looking over the troops as they prepared for the siege. He felt his innards twist again and he quickly tried to shove down the feelings of dread that were pooling in his stomach. “So, are we ready?”</p><p>“As ready as we’ll ever be,” Cullen said with a sigh, coming to a stop in a small clearing. “Sam wanted to go and scout ahead, but she says she can feel the red lyrium in the air- it’s too dangerous for her to try and travel in these circumstances.” He gave Ali a look, and instantly he knew what it meant. “I don’t suppose-“</p><p>“You and I both know there’s no way Sparrow is going to leave Lana,” Ali interrupted, wishing he could put the man at ease. “If I could stop her, I would... you know that.”</p><p>“I...” Cullen stopped, looking over at the fortress looming over them in the distance. “It’s different this time, Ali- I have to lead the men...I can’t be there with her.”  He looked at Ali with desperation in his eyes. “Keep her safe,” he whispered. “Make sure she comes back to me, Ali.” He felt a strong hand clamp on his shoulder, the pressure from both the hand and the expectations of his brother threatening to press him into the ground. “Promise me.” </p><p>Logically, Ali knew he couldn’t do that- they were headed into a battle, and in battles, casualties were an inevitability. But, as Ali looked into the face of the haunted man in front of him, Ali did the one thing he knew he shouldn’t.</p><p>“I promise.”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>As they stared out at the looming fortress, Sam crept up next to Lana, threading her arm in hers. “Are you ready?” Lana asked quietly, checking Sam over while the others marched ahead. Slowly, Lana moved them over to the side, being extra careful to keep distance between her sister and the others. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”</p><p>“Like hell I don’t,” Sam returned sharply, looking out at the troops filing past. “We’ve come this far, Lana Banana. I've never let you down before... why would I start now?” </p><p>Lana winced in pain as the mark surged, sending a searing pain throughout her body. Ever since Sam had given Lana the ring for safekeeping, it had been a bit of a double-edged sword- it had served to drive the voices away, but her flare-ups had gotten more frequent and more painful the closer they got to the fortress. “You know why,” she hissed through gritted teeth. “I wouldn’t blame you if you chose to sit this out.”</p><p>She had been trying her best not to let Sam know what was going on, but even with her dampened powers, her sister could still tell what was wrong. “Meh, I’m allowed one nervous breakdown per battle... it’s in the contract.” Before Lana could respond, another surge hit her and she screamed in pain. “Lana,” Sam said quickly, grabbing her arm and yanking Lana around to face them, “you need to give me the ring back.”</p><p>Lana shook her head, trying to avoid the look of hurt on Sam's face. “You need a break, Sam.” She looked over at Sam sadly, trying to breathe through the pain and putting on a fake smile. “It is not that bad... I can manage.”</p><p>Sam rolled her eyes. “If you don’t give it to me, you know I’m just gonna freeze you and take it out of your pockets, Lana Banana. I’m tired of everyone trying to be a martyr around here- if you’re gonna rearrange your life for me, the least I can do is make you feel better.” Sam gave Lana a smile that was brighter than any she’d seen on her face since Skyhold, then extended her hand. “Don’t worry about me,” she whispered. “I trust my sister to keep me safe.”</p><p>With a heavy heart, Lana reached into her robes and handed Sam the jewel, instantly feeling a sense of relief as soon as the bobble got into her sister's hands. “Thank you,” Lana said as she squeezed her hand. “Are you ready to do this?” </p><p>“Always,” Sam replied, reaching in her bag and grabbing a piece of candy. “Welp, we’ve all had enough fuck ups for a minute,” she said with a grin. “So let’s go take back Adamant, shall we?” </p><p>Despite the impending sense of doom at the upcoming battle, Lana felt a sense of relief as she took a piece of candy, looking over at the small woman standing beside her with pride. “With pleasure, sister.”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p><br/>The fight through the fortress was hard, but Varric was surprised to see Hawke in such a state as they incapacitated the wardens left and right. After ascending the ramparts, he looked over at the rogue as they cleared a path for Hero and Sparrow to get through. “You alright over there?” he asked quickly, knowing that there was no way anyone was actually okay in the slightest, considering the levels of fuckery going on around them. “Need a break?”</p><p>“Oh sure,” Hawke wheezed as he raced over to shove a warden off the blocks while Varric subdued the man with a bolt from Bianca, “I’ll be sure to get right on that.” Hawke turned to the crazed warden that was sniping at the troops below, then cleared his throat loudly. “Excuse me, Mr. Possessed Warden!”</p><p>The man turned to Hawke, the confusion evident on his face. “I know you’re in the middle of trying to murder your fellow man," Hawke lilted, "but do you mind pausing for <em>just</em> a tick?” He flashed the man a dazzling smile before gesturing over his shoulder. “I have to take a second and freshen up before I go and kill that idiot magister of yours up there.” When the man stared at Hawke in disbelief, Hawke knocked him out cold. He looked over at the dwarf and grinned. "See? They’re not all that accommodating, Varric. Rude bastards.” </p><p>Varric shook his head as they crept along the ramparts, watching as Lana and Sam stunned the whole lot of wardens that were collected nearby. “Good to see that you’re in a better mood, Chuckles.” </p><p>“Oh yes,” Hawke replied as he elbowed a warden in the throat. “Feeling positively rejuvenated- nothing gets the blood pumping like being able to take down the bastard that’s sent your life into even more of a tailspin than it usually is.” He scowled as he looked over the pile of unconscious wardens they were leaving in their wake. “Remind me why we’re taking such pains to not kill these people that are trying to maim and murder us?”</p><p>“Because we can save them,” Sam said pointedly, freezing a man before Ali hit him in the head. “I can see it- some of them can still be saved.”</p><p>“Well,” Hawke replied, watching as Cullen and his troops began to race inside the fortress, “I hope this effort was worth it because you look positively wretched right now, dear cousin.” </p><p>Varric scowled at Hawke, but he knew his friend was right- Sam had been using so much power that her ring was black, and the red lyrium scattered throughout the fortress wasn’t helping in the slightest. She’d been trying to play it off, but he’d seen her reach into her bag a few times to pull out what she called her liquid first-aid kit. “Sparrow, you sure you’re-“</p><p>“I’m fine,” she said curtly, wincing as Lana’s mark flared up and flowed into the ring. “See? Instant battery, just add mage.” After giving a small shiver, she squared her shoulders and exhaled. “Right,” she mumbled, looking out at the group of wardens fighting Shades near the main Bailey. “The wardens need help- they’ve decided to stand against Clarel.”  Before anyone could protest, Sam had raced toward the wardens, sending out a wave that froze time. Ali raced behind her, his face pale as a sheet, followed by Lana, prepping her magic as she ran.</p><p>“Finally,” Hawke muttered as he raced to Varric’s side, “these are something that we can kill instead of treating the murderous bastards like fluffy kittens."</p><p>Varric didn’t respond, simply watching as Lana and Sam took down the shades and gathered the wardens to assist with their cause. “I hope Sparrow knows what she’s doing,” he said to himself as they raced up toward the battlements. “Cause this isn’t looking good from where I’m standing.”</p><p class="p1">
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</p><hr/><p>When they got to the courtyard, Lana was struck dumb by the sight of Warden-Commander Clarel standing next to Erimond, preparing to sacrifice an old Grey Warden. “Clarel!” Lana screamed. “Stop this foolishness at once!” </p><p>“Don’t listen to her,” Erimond purred in her ear, grinning evilly at Lana. “She just wants your power… she seeks to deny the Grey Wardens the power they need to stop the blight. Why should any more of your people have to suffer the calling? Why not take the power to defeat the archdemon now? You have it in your hands,” he hissed, “<em>do it!”</em></p><p><em>“Clarel!</em>” Lana screamed. “I am the Hero of Ferelden and I have slain the Archdemon... <em>without</em> blood magic!” Immediately, she raced in front of the group, shooting a bolt of lightning that knocked the knife out of Clarel’s hand. “I stand in front of you, alive and well! I’ve saved your wardens!” Lana screamed. “Do not trust his plan- he serves Corypheus! He’s put you under a thrall and wishes to bind you to demons!”</p><p>“Corypheus is dead,”  Clarel said nervously. “We have handled that long ago-“</p><p>“Afraid not!” Hawke yelled. “I thought I killed him too, but he’s attacked again- he killed the Divine! You must listen to reason, Clarel!” </p><p>“They're lying!” Erimond hissed. “They cannot have done those things! You and I know that to fight is death- she is an <em>impostor</em>, trying to take your power away from you! And you said it yourself- you have dealt with Corypheus.”</p><p>“The Inquisitor saved us!” A man piped up from behind Lana. “They could’ve killed us out there, but they didn’t!” </p><p>Another cry came up from the back of the crowd. “And they saved us! It’s true- our mage brothers and sisters are not themselves, Clarel! We must save them!” </p><p>The rising cry of the wardens behind her gave the Warden-Commander pause. “Erimond,” Clarel said nervously, her eyes darting back and forth between the magister and Lana, “I… I must consider the words of my people,”  she said slowly, backing away from the dais. “This… this is <em>wrong!” </em></p><p>At that, the last traces of his act fell away, and the true intent of Erimond was visible. “Oh, <em>now</em> you decide to grow a conscience? Where was this clarity when your brothers and sisters were being slain at your behest, Clarel? Was the lust for power too much for you?” He sent up a spark in the air, and suddenly a screech tore through the courtyard that sent vibrations through Lana’s bones. “It is of no consequence- the elder one will have the Wardens, in life or death!” </p><p>In an instant, the red lyrium dragon was soaring above them, with Erimond fleeing away from them. “Wardens! Aid the Hero!” Clarel screamed as she raced after Erimond. “I will stop the magister!” </p><p>Lana’s face fell, then she set her lips in a frown. Clarel may have been misguided, but she didn’t deserve to die for her mistake. “Quickly, everyone- we must go after her!” </p><p class="p1">
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</p><hr/><p>Cullen and his troops were heading into the fortress, fighting alongside the wardens as the demons seemed to spring up from every direction. He’d frantically been looking for Sam and Lana, but the throngs of enemies were making it difficult to focus on anything except what was right in front of him. “Bull!” Cullen screamed out to the Quinari fighting alongside him, “can you see them?” </p><p>“No!” Bull called back. “No sign of them yet, but we’ll keep these demon assholes back!” He shoved away a rage demon that was a little too close for comfort and Sera put it down with an expert arrow. When Cullen looked up at the elf, she gave him a cheeky salute before bounding over to assist the Quinari. "Push for the courtyard!” Bull yelled, turning to Cullen. “The main fight sounds like it’s in there!”</p><p>“Understood,” he said, just before he heard a screech that made his blood freeze inside his veins. Cullen had never forgotten that sound, the sound that cost them all so much- it took center stage in many of his nightmares, swapping out Lana for Sam whenever he’d thought he might finally be able to breathe again. Looking up and seeing the corrupted dragon in the sky, Cullen no longer noticed anything that was going on around him- the scene around him was pure chaos. He stared in shock at the uncorrupted Wardens fighting the demons, then turned to see a warden and a Venatori were engaged in a fierce struggle on the ramparts above him. However, this wasn’t what concerned him- it was the other thing he’d seen that made his world stop as surely as if his wife had paused time. </p><p>On the ramparts, he saw Sam and Lana racing toward the combatants, with Ali and the others following closely behind. Just as the warden was about to take down the magister, another screech tore through the air as the dragon settled behind the warden, knocking her away from the dazed man on the ground and picking up the woman in its massive jaws. A scream carried across the wind and sent him on a mad dash to find a way to get to his wife, but it was too late- suddenly, an explosion tore through the air, sending the walkway shattering right before his very eyes. Cullen couldn’t hear anything as he tried to race to the crumbling bridge, only to be caught by two strong arms. </p><p>“You can’t go up there, Commander!” Bull yelled, pulling him back. “That whole thing is coming down!”</p><p>“Samantha is there!” Cullen screamed. “I have to get there! <em>I have to get to them!” </em></p><p>Cullen heard the screech of a raven before he yanked free from Bull's grip, his newfound strength fueled by his terror as he watched everyone fall off the walkway… </p><p>…and instantly disappear into the middle of a rift.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Welp. Here we go.</p>
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<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Memories Faded</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Team Mage enters the fade.</p>
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<hr/><p>The first thing Lana thought when she opened her eyes was <em>oh no, not again. </em></p><p>“‘Bout time you woke up,” a voice said. “You do know that this is a shitty place to take a nap, right?” </p><p>Gingerly raising her head, she slowly sat up and gasped- sure enough, this was the fade and she was physically here… <em>again</em>. “What… why?” She blinked rapidly, then her stomach gave a violent lurch and she heaved, losing the contents behind a nearby rock. “This can’t be happening,” she moaned. “I can’t be here again.”</p><p>“Well, you are,” the voice said from behind her, and she whirled around to see a tall young man with dark hair falling in his face staring at her, his piercing grey eyes taking in her disheveled state with interest. “Need some help?” He extended his hand to her and helped Lana get shakily to her feet. “Your friends are around here, but they haven’t woken up yet… you might want to give 'em a little assistance.” </p><p>Lana stared at the man in front of her, too stunned to say a word. Slowly, her brain began to piece things about him as she gathered her bearings and she inwardly groaned at the realization. She was quite sure the man was some sort of spirit- even though his hand felt warm and steady in hers, it was almost as if his very body was made up of solidified smoke. “Are you a demon?” Lana blurted out without thinking, then grimaced as she quickly realized that she might have offended the spirit. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to offend-“</p><p>Thankfully, the spirit just laughed. “Seriously, do you think I’d tell you if I were a demon?” Wanting to kick herself for the blunder, Lana bit her lip and shook her head, but the man just waved her off. “Nah… I'm more of a family friend- figured you and your sister could use a hand out here.” Then he stared at Lana curiously, stooping down and peering into her face. “How much do you remember, newbie?” </p><p>“Newbie?” Lana asked, confused as she looked around for the rest of her party- she had no idea who had entered the rift besides her and Sam. “What do you mean?”</p><p>The ghost shrugged. “Not important… let’s go find the kid- she can help you get everyone else walking and talking again. This ain't the best place to stop for a nap, after all” </p><p>“I appreciate the assistance,” she replied, nervously watching the man stride across the chaotic landscape with silent purpose. After a few minutes of them walking together and not speaking, she cleared her throat, desperate to cut through the eerie silence. “Excuse me,” she said tentatively, thankful she still had her staff on her back, though she wasn’t quite sure what she would be able to do to the strange spirit with it, “while I am rather thankful for your help and company, I find that I still don’t know what you are.”</p><p>“That’s because I didn’t tell you,” he remarked affably, not slowing his pace. “Kinda thought you’d gotten the hint after the last time you asked me.”</p><p>“Last time?” Lana was confused, but she forced herself to be patient- spirits often had no sense of time, and rushing them tended to serve no one. “I’m afraid this is the only time I’ve asked you that question…”</p><p>At that, the man chuckled, pausing to put his hands in his pockets and grin at her in a way that made her feel strangely at ease and on edge at the same time. “You can call me the pilot,” he said simply. “And I can tell you with absolute certainty that this wasn’t the first time you’ve asked me that, newbie.”</p><p>Lana just stared at him, but the pilot wouldn’t say anything further on the subject- instead, they continued to move across the hideous landscape, and soon he pointed to a crumpled figure on the ground. “There’s the kid, which is my cue to take off,” he said quietly. “But before I go, I need you to do one thing for me.”</p><p>Never one to rush into a deal with a spirit, Lana frowned as she approached Sam’s sleeping form. “Why would I do that, pilot?”</p><p>“Because it’s about her,” he answered wistfully, staring down at Sam. “When you get everyone together, take those stairs up ahead,” the pilot said as he pointed to the jagged cropping of rocks shaped into an ominous staircase. “But when you're in here, I need you to listen to your sister, ok?” </p><p>His strange grey eyes searched her face and Lana felt a knot settling in the middle of her stomach, but she nodded. “I always do.”</p><p>The pilot let out a loud laugh as he clapped a hand on her shoulder. “Tell that lie to someone who doesn’t know you, newbie. Just remember that no matter what, your family is always gonna be by your side- things ain't gonna be easy in here this time around. ” </p><p>Lana started to frown. “Things are never easy for us- why should now be any different?” </p><p>"True," he replied, kneeling next to Sam's form, then glancing back up to Lana. "I'm just saying… try to have a little faith in her, ok?"</p><p>"As I have already told you," Lana said curtly, as she ran healing magic over her sister, "I always do."</p><p>This answer seemed to satisfy the pilot and he started to walk away, but something was tickling Lana’s mind- before he disappeared, she realized what it was. “Pilot?”</p><p>At the sound of her voice, he stopped. "What, you can't get enough of me already? Don't you and the kid have people to see and things to do other than bugger off with me?"</p><p>Lana just stared at him, trying to organize her swimming thoughts before she spoke again. "Before you go, I have one last question.” He gave her a curious look but didn’t leave, so Lana quickly continued. “Why do you keep calling me 'newbie'?"</p><p>At that, the pilot broke out into a wide smile, giving Lana a light pat on the back before turning away. “You’ll see,” he said, his laughter trailing off as he faded out of sight, leaving Lana with far more questions than answers. </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>After waking the others and getting over the fact that we were physically stranded in the fade, Lana had squared her shoulders and proceeded to guide us forward. "This way," she said quickly, pointing to an ominous-looking staircase looming in the distance. "We have to head in that direction if we want to get out of here."</p><p>Nervously, I glanced over at the jagged staircase, then over to my sister. “<em>That’s</em> where you want us to go? You know, in the movies, when you go up the creepy stairs, you usually don’t get the chance to come back down, Lana Banana.” When my sister scowled and rolled her eyes at me, I shrugged my shoulders. “Hey... just saying.” </p><p>“Trust me,” she replied, staring at the staircase. “I… I just know.” </p><p>I frowned as I looked over her pinched face, but I decided to keep my mouth shut for the time being- we had more important problems. “Lead the way… up the murder stairs we go, I guess.”</p><p>As Lana headed in front with Cass, Ali leaned over and whispered in my ear. “Sparrow, you doing all right? I know you start talking as if you’ve lost your mind when you’re upset, so…”</p><p>His voice trailed off and I shrugged, watching Dorian shiver as we passed the skeleton of what I assumed was once a man. "Why wouldn’t I be upset?” I replied with a laugh. “We’re all stuck in the fade and there’s red lyrium everywhere- the one goddamn place I should be able to run on god mode-“ when he winced, I gave a sheepish shrug. “Well, seeing the current situation, I can see where that analogy might be a little tasteless,” I said apologetically. “But the fact remains, the one time I should be kicking ass and taking names, I’m damn near useless.”</p><p>“Damn near doesn’t mean fully useless,” Hawke piped up from behind me as we made our way toward the staircase. “I’d take even a modicum of the power you and Lana have right now- it would serve to relieve the shivers in my mind.” The rogue shuddered, then rubbed his arms. “It feels like spiders are crawling around in my brain."</p><p>“Thanks for that <em>wonderful</em> visual,” Dorian replied with a huff, brandishing his staff in front of him as he walked next to us, his eyes darting to and fro nervously. “For goodness sake, I never wanted to be this close to magic in my life!”</p><p>“You and me both, Sparkler,” Varric said. “Dwarves don’t dream, remember? And if your dreams are anything like this place then I’m kinda glad about that fact, because I don’t think I’d ever sleep again. As a matter of fact, I still might not,” he muttered as a creature skittered past. “I swear, I’m starting to think that there isn't any fucked up shit on Thedas that you lot won’t find."</p><p>“I’m inclined to agree,” Dorian said, looking around and gripping Ali's shoulder as we crept up the stairs. “Sam, you and your sister were awake before us… what did you find? Have you seen any way out of this place?”</p><p>I shook my head. “Nothing. Everything is…” I frowned. “It’s not even dark- it’s just… wavy,” I said finally. “Like a TV when you can’t get a signal.” They looked at me with confusion, and I sighed, realizing none of my friends would know what I meant. “There’s <em>something</em>, but nothing is clear,” I told them, feeling extremely nervous as we continued our ascent. “It’s like there’s interference or something.” </p><p>“That… doesn’t sound promising, Sparrow,” Varric said nervously. “I don’t know I feel about that.”</p><p>“I know,” I said warily, looking at the glowing figure at the top of the staircase and realizing that we were about to have an encounter with a local, and since I wasn't exactly sure if the fade had a welcome wagon, I tensed up. “I don't feel too good about it either.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>When Lana and Cass reached the top of the stairs, they were greeted by the figure of an older-looking woman in chantry clothing. Lana was confused, but Cass was staring at the spirit in front of them with a look of amazement and horror. “Divine Justinia? Most Holy?” She turned to Lana and pointed at the figure angrily. "How is this possible?"</p><p>Unsure as to what was truly taking place in front of her, Lana looked back and forth between the spirit and the seeker. “Cass, you knew the Divine…” she turned to her friend, hoping for anything resembling certainty for a moment. “Is this truly her?”</p><p>Cass studied the woman for a moment, her expression sad and hurt. “I… do not know. It is said that sometimes the souls of the dead linger in the fade, but we also know that spirits lie.” She sighed, then hung her head. “Be wary, Lana.” </p><p>The figure in front of them just gave them a serene look. “Why must I be a spirit?” it asked. “You are here, just as I am, no?”</p><p>Sam looked at Lana, answering the question even before she’d asked. “You are a spirit, Most Holy. A nice one, to be sure, but a spirit just the same.” Her sister sighed, looking over at the spirit with a sadness that Lana couldn’t understand. “I just know.”</p><p>"I’m afraid there is precious little time to confirm or deny your knowledge, my child.” The Divine looked at the seeker sadly, then turned her gaze to Lana. “Do you remember what happened at the temple, my child?” </p><p>Dazed, Lana just shook her head- she was still reeling after the events of the last few hours. “I’m afraid not,” she admitted. “It has never come back to me.”</p><p>“That is because the Nightmare stole them from you when you escaped,” the spirit nodded sadly. "He serves Corypheus as a member of his army, feeding on the terrors of those that find themselves in his clutches.” Then she turned to Hawke, her tone urging. “The false calling that has driven the wardens to madness, Champion? That is its work." She gave Ali a look filled with pity. "The unrest in your camp lately? His doing.”</p><p>Just then, a shriek came from the valley below and the spirit looked down, pausing for a moment before returning her attention to them. “Go,” she urged. “The demons that approach guard your memories… dispatch them. Once you have recovered what was stolen, I will help you find your way home.” </p><p>Before Lana could say another word, the spirit disappeared, and Lana could see a gathering of four huddled shapes screeching in the distance. “I suppose that we have no choice,” Lana said as she pulled out her staff and looked at Sam. “Do you have enough energy for a welcome gift, sister?” </p><p>“To get the fuck outta here?” Sam asked, reaching in her pocket and pulling out a candy. “You’re damn right I do.” She grabbed Lana’s hand, then squared her shoulders. “C’mon… let’s fry these fuckers so we can get your memories back.” </p><p>Lana nodded, leading the group into the valley below. Thankful for the boost in power her sister provided, she called on her now-heightened magic to send a ball of flame over the demons, . For a moment, she was scared it might not work for them since they were physically in the fade, but just like always, the magic incinerated their enemies instantly. As the flames receded, the demons began to crumble into ash and their charred remnants floated away on the stale wind, leaving four glowing and smoking orbs in their wake. </p><p>“Well, I must say,” Dorian remarked, looking over the shimmering objects, “that was still rather effective, Sam. It looks as if you aren’t all that useless after all.”</p><p>“Maybe not, but I’m not all that happy about it either,” she croaked, falling to her knees and heaving behind a nearby rock. “That… did not feel good… at all.” She wiped her mouth, taking Hawke’s hand and letting the rogue help her to her feet. "The air feels… <em>dead</em>, Lana. Like life and joy are gone, and there’s nothing but blackness and death here.” </p><p>“Well, maybe this will help,” Lana said, reaching over and placing a hand over the shimmering orb. “I’m curious to see what that bastard has stolen from me.”</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
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    <em>“Are you ready?” Nia asked, looking at Lana with sadness and concern. “I must warn you, once you open that door, nothing will be the same.” Her mother looked her over sadly, cupping Lana's cheek gently in her hand. “This will be a world of chaos, pain, and suffering, but you will also have things you only thought existed in your dreams, kid.” </em>
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    <em>Lana paused, letting her hand rest on the doorknob. “Will I have Ali and Sam if I go back?” </em>
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    <em>Her mother didn't answer immediately- instead, Nia just looked at her, the expression on her face unreadable. “Is that what you want, Lana?” When she nodded, Nia gave her a sad smile. “Then may I ask you a question?”</em>
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    <em>Lana nodded again, not knowing where the woman was going with this. “What if I told you that I could take your memories of that old life and let you stay in this reality… where there would be no undue suffering or pain? You could just be a normal girl, with a loving sister and a doting boyfriend… maybe even a husband one day. You could live your days in peace and comfort, Lana- no battles, no wars, no death or destruction.” Nia placed a soft hand on her shoulder, her green eyes carefully searching her face. “Lana, is the life you had <span class="u">really</span> the life you want to go back to?”</em>
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    <em>“It’s not,” she admitted. “But it’s the life they’re living right now, and if I can help them and ease their suffering in any way, then that’s what I’m going to do.” Lana closed her eyes for a moment, then smiled as she recalled the words the woman had told her long ago. “You once told me that I needed to remember my bravery when the door appears, and if I can step through with no hesitation, then I can change my destiny.” She looked up at the door, then back at her mother. “I see the door and I get it now… thank you.”</em>
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    <em>Nia just smiled, kissing Lana on the forehead. “You are my daughter, through and through… remember that in the days to come.” Her mother stepped aside, watching Lana with pride as she opened the door, fading into the darkness that enveloped the room. “I love you, Lana… and I’m sorry.” </em>
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    <em>Lana nodded and stepped through the door, only to be greeted by a horrifying sight- a gigantic skeletal darkspawn with red crystals jutting out of his skin at various angles was holding a shimmering orb and standing with a group of mages in grey warden robes. The mages had magically suspended a woman in the air, her face panicked as she struggled against the spell. “Prepare the sacrifice,” the darkspawn intoned. “It is time.”</em>
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    <em>Lana let out a gasp, her mouth hanging open in shock as she took in the scene in front of her. "What's going on here?"<br/>
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    <em>Her outburst surprised the mages, making the woman suspended above the table jerk her gaze to Lana. “Run!” The woman hissed. “Warn them!”</em>
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    <em>Suddenly, Lana felt like she was stuck in mud- everything seemed like it was going in slow motion, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get herself to think clearly. In a panic, her eyes roamed the room, finally alighting on the orb in the creature’s hand. As she stared at it for a moment, her mother’s words came back to her... </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>’When someone shows you something, you’ll know how to handle it…'</em>
  </p>
  <p><em>Seeing the creature looming over the woman, her stomach clenched- instantly, Lana knew without a shadow of a doubt that she had to get that orb away from the creature. </em> <em>Snarling, she raced toward him, trying to knock the orb out of his hands. For a split second, it was like time had stopped- Lana felt like she was swimming through mud, seeing everything happen in slow motion. The creature must have realized her plan at the last minute because it began hastily casting a spell, just as Lana placed a hand on the ball…</em></p>
  <p>
    <em>… and the room exploded in a flash of green light.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>“Lana,” Ali urged, the rising panic creeping into his voice, “are you all right?" He raced over to her side, helping Lana to her feet as he looked around wildly. "What in the Maker was that?”</p><p>“My memories,” Lana said shakily. “It was…Corypheus and the wardens who did this to the divine.” She shook her head sadly, staring out over at her friends. “I never would have imagined…” </p><p>Sam frowned as she looked around the fade, shivering and biting her lip. “We can do the whole  ‘he was such a nice boy, I never thought he’d eat his family’ spiel later- time to get up and get the fuck out of nightmareville, Lana.” </p><p>“Your sister is right,” the spirit said as it appeared behind Sam. “The nightmare now knows you are here- more of his sentinels will be coming for you.” She stared off into the distance for a moment, then turned back to the group. “I will go and prepare the way ahead.”</p><p>“But we don’t know where we’re going!” Dorian shouted angrily. “How are we supposed to get out of here if you keep running off!”</p><p>“Follow the path ahead,” the spirit said as she began to fade from view. “Do not worry… your guide will find you.” </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Just as I was starting to get used to what I might consider a manageable level of terror, a new player decided to enter the arena. “Ah, so you’ve found your way back here,” the voice boomed overhead, rich with menace and venom. “You’re fighting a war you cannot win, little mage. You’re playing at things you don’t understand, trying to elevate yourself to a station that is beyond your reach... just like before. You know you'll never be enough, mage- aren't you tired of trying?” </p><p>At the sound of the voice, Lana’s body went rigid and I felt her clutch my fingers. <em>That’s Corypheus’ voice,</em> she said in my head. <em>Do you hear it, Sam?</em></p><p><em>I do,</em> I replied.<em> But it’s a fake, Lana Banana- I think it’s the Nightmare- it feels different from how it was the last time.</em> I looked around, trying to pinpoint a source for the voice but finding nothing. “Shut the fuck up!” I screamed into the air, whirling around angrily. “You don’t know shit about Lana!” </p><p>“Ah… says the one who refuses to do her duty because she's terrified to fail.” The voice paused for a moment, then let out a jeering laugh. “Your fear is <em>delicious</em>… it spans across space and time, to a world far away from here… why I could feed for an eternity off of you, watcher.”</p><p>“Leave them alone!” Ali screamed as we fought through a group of shades that had emerged, blocking our path. “Sam, Lana, don’t listen to it!” His sword cut through a wraith that was coming toward me, sending its body toppling to the ground. “You know it's all lies!” </p><p>“Says the warden who knows he should have been king,” the Nightmare sneered. “You abandoned your duty to follow in the shadow of your lover, but what did you get instead? Ten years alone, debating how best to throw yourself on your blade. Envious of the man you call your brother, wishing he knew how much you hated him for having what you could not…” </p><p><em>Don’t listen to him,</em> I told Ali, grabbing his shoulder. <em>Fuck that guy- we know you love us both… that will never change- you’re our brother, full stop.</em></p><p>The nightmare scoffed. “Watcher, you talk a lot about family, but does your family even know you? Do they know the memory that makes you want to hurl yourself into the void, what makes you cringe with fear every time you close your eyes?” He gave a sinister chuckle, then the ground began to shake behind us, knocking Lana and me into a darkened cavern. “Maybe it’s high time you got a taste of what you’ve tried to forget, little girl.” <br/>
<br/>
I started to say something, but the area went completely black and I screamed, clutching for something to hold onto. When the darkness faded, my skin started to crawl when I discovered that the cave was gone- I was standing in the middle of an empty locker room.</p><p><em>Oh no,</em> I thought,<em> not here… anything but this…</em> </p><p>I scanned the room, hoping for an exit, but I knew exactly what I was going to find- my blood ran cold as I listened to the hiss of the showers echoing off the concrete walls, and the sounds of menacing laughter were rolling around me in waves. Looking around at the empty benches, I felt my legs turn to jelly when I noticed I was clad in only a towel, and I had to fight back another scream when I heard the sounds of footsteps approaching.</p><p>“Surprise, surprise… the freak is hanging out alone… again.”  a voice wheedled from behind me. Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard, the nasal whine rising to a crescendo. “I didn’t know she even knew where the gym was- all she does is sit in the art room all day!” </p><p>The other voice with her laughed evilly. “I wonder who she bribes to get out of all her other classes,” the girl purred as she walked closer to me. Instinctively, I backed away, moving closer to the lockers and wishing like hell they’d just leave- I didn’t know who these girls were, but somehow I had gotten on their radar.</p><p>The girl was taller than me, clad in a tight-fitting gym uniform, her long brown hair feeling like the legs of a million spiders as she leaned over me, making the dark strands brush against my face. “What’s wrong, freak?” The scent of pear-scented lotion and stale bubble gum wafted off her, her painted red lips twisted in a menacing smile. “Why so scared? We just want to talk to you… right, Kris?”</p><p>“Right,” Kris said, her shoes clicking across the tile as she came on my other side. She noticed me trying to back away and put up a hand on the locker, trapping me in front of her. “Aww,” she said mockingly, placing a perfectly manicured finger to her lips and brushing her jet-black ponytail off her shoulder, anger flashing in her pale blue eyes. “Miri, I think the little freak is scared.” She picked up a lock of my dripping wet hair, letting it flop to my shoulders. “I can’t imagine why… we’re friendly, right?”</p><p>“Please.. just leave me alone,” I whispered, lowering my eyes. “I… I just want to get dressed.”</p><p>“Kris,” Miri said, flipping her eyes to her friend, twirling one of her long, dark locks around her finger, “I think she’s being rude… don’t you?” </p><p>“She sure is,” Kris sneered, boxing me in. All of a sudden the air around me felt heavy, like smoke seeping into my lungs. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping that if I just stayed still long enough, the scene would go away, but I wasn’t that lucky- they stayed right where they were, their oppressive scents threatening to overpower me. “Maybe we should teach her a lesson… what do you think?”</p><p>Miri reached up, touching a fingernail to my cheek. “It’d only be fair… we can’t let her be this mean to anyone else, right?”</p><p>The instant she connected with my skin, I felt a burning sensation that made me scream with pain- this girl hated me, and I couldn’t even understand why. “Leave me alone!” I screamed, squeezing my eyes shut. “I never did anything to you!” </p><p>“You won’t get the chance to,” Miri said in a low voice. “I don’t like you... and I don’t want you around, <em>freak</em>.” </p><p>Suddenly, I no longer cared about getting dressed- my only goal was getting out of there as quickly as possible. I tried to push through them, but they both linked arms and caught me between them, hauling me back toward the steaming hot showers. </p><p>“You want a bath?” Miri snarled, dragging me to the showers by my hair, ignoring my screams. <em>Why won’t anyone come to see what’s going on!</em> I thought, desperately scanning the room for someone, <em>anyone</em> to help me. “I’ll give you a bath, you ugly fucking bitch!"</p><p>“Don’t do this!” I screamed, kicking and trying to claw my way away from the two girls. “I didn’t do anything to either of you! I’ve never even talked to you before!” </p><p>Miri ignored my pleas, instead choosing to look over at Kris. “Is Tia still outside?” Kris nodded, and Miri grabbed me by my throat, cutting off my air supply and causing me to gag. "How long do we have?” </p><p>“About fifteen minutes- she convinced that pervy coach she wanted to bang him, so we got some time.” Kris looked over with an evil smile as she turned the temperature of the shower to full blast. “Go for it, Miri.” </p><p>"You shouldn’t have come here, you filthy bitch,” she said as she pushed me toward the hot spray of water. “Enjoy your goddamn shower!”</p><p>Just as I knew I was about to be scalded, I felt strong arms wrapping around me, the cool sensation soothing my sensitive skin. “Shhh, it’s ok, kid- I gotcha... It’s not real,” the voice said softly, stroking my hair. “Sam… I need you to think and remember what <em>actually</em> happened, not what <em>could’ve</em> happened- he’s playing on your fears, kid.” </p><p>Struggling, I tried to bring things into focus, reaching back in my mind as I tried to find the truth that was slipping away from me. I remembered the feel of her hands on my neck, the fear clawing at the back of my brain, telling me that I was going to die…</p><p>“What were you thinking,” the voice prodded, his hands wrapped protectively around me. “What did you tell yourself then?”</p><p>I thought harder, trying to push away the sense of impending doom that was freezing me in place. “I…” I swallowed, feeling the steam in my throat, burning my eyes. “I thought…” </p><p>"Keep going," he urged, running his hands over my hair as he placed a kiss on the top of my head. “What did you think, kid?”</p><p>“That I refused to die like this.” Once the words left my lips, it was like the fog cleared from my brain- instantly, I saw the scene change. Instead of hitting the water, the world froze all around me, leaving my tormentors as still as statues. </p><p>Slowly, I looked up and found myself staring at the pilot before taking in the scene around me. “I stopped time,” I whispered, curling up into a ball and hugging my knees into my chest, rocking back and forth on the cold, wet, floor. “They <em>tried</em>… but they didn’t…"</p><p>“That’s it,” he said, as the world slowly shifted back into focus. “You saved yourself, Sam- you were always strong enough.” I heard him stand up beside me, and when I looked up, he was extending his hand to me. “Take my hand, kid.” He gave me a dazzling smile, his grey eyes shining with pride. “Take my hand and save yourself again.”</p><p>Nodding, I reached for his hand- the moment we connected, the scene exploded into flames. “Sam!” Lana cried, clutching me in her arms. “Oh, <em>maker!</em> I thought…” she shuddered against me. “You know, it doesn’t matter… you’re here. If he hadn’t found me….”</p><p>Something she said stuck out in my mind, and I looked at my sister with curiosity. “Who found you?” </p><p>“The pilot,” she said quietly, her eyes darting along the landscape. “He reminded me that Ali pulled me out of the snow, that I didn’t let you die at Haven.” Her eyes ran across my face, almost as if she was trying to reassure herself that I was real. “I thought I lost you, Sam.” </p><p>“Never,” I whispered, clutching her close. “Team Mage for life, remember?” </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>As the others caught up with them, Lana noticed that Sam was silent, a concerned look etched on her face as they continued through the cavern. “Sam,” she whispered, “what’s wrong?” </p><p>Looking around as if she had just realized that there were others with them, Sam blinked. “Why is he helping us? He's not supposed to interfere with things like this,” she mused, twisting the hem of her shirt in her hands. “And why did he come to you, too?”</p><p>“Who are you talking about?” Cass asked as she carved a path through a few more demons. “What did you two see in there?”</p><p>“You didn’t see it?” Sam asked, turning toward the seeker. “I thought it was like when Lana got her memories back… thought you all could see what was happening,” she said sadly. Noticing the shaken look on Sam’s face, Lana took her hand in hers, giving her sister a reassuring squeeze. “What did you guys see?”</p><p>“A group of spider-like creatures surrounding you,” Cass admitted. “We tried to get in, but there was a barrier blocking us. We were scared that we would not be able to reach you, but suddenly Lana reached out for you, and the barrier shattered,” she said, looking over at Lana with a concerned look. “I…am just glad that both of you are all right.”</p><p>“How touching, seeker,” the nightmare jeered from overhead. “You couldn’t save the divine… how could you possibly expect to save anyone?” When Cass just growled, not giving the demon the satisfaction, it turned its focus to Hawke. “And we have a failed champion, clinging to his cousin’s coattails like the nobody he truly is… the lover of a murderer, the man who abandoned his family in pursuit of a happily ever after that will never exist. No matter what you try, you will always be unworthy, Hawke.  You know it, and they know it too… you can see the truth in her eyes, how she judges you every time…”</p><p>“Oh, <em>do</em> shut up,” Hawke said pithily, sending his daggers into a shade that had jumped into their path. “If you’re going to list my faults, the least you can do is list them properly.” He turned to Sam, and Lana could see the hope in his eyes. “Our family fights- it’s our love language.” </p><p>“Course,” Sam said with a reassuring smile, taking an arm and wrapping it around Hawke's waist. “How else would we know that they give a shit about us?” </p><p>“Touching,” the Nightmare retorted. “You give so much affection to those that travel with you, but you abandoned your real family, Watcher- why? Too scared to live in your mother’s shadow? Too afraid to take on the mantle you were destined for?”</p><p>At that, Sam turned to the sky, her face enraged. “You know what? I’m so fucking done with this shit! You want to play? ” She whirled around, arms outstretched wide. “You want to see what I can do? Bring your creepy ass out here so we can fucking <em>barbecue</em> you, you irritating piece of shit!” </p><p><em>Sam</em>, Lana thought, grabbing her arm and pulling her back. <em>Stop… don’t let this get to you. </em></p><p><em>I’m tired,</em> she spat. <em>It’s taunting us, trying to pull us apart… I’ve been fucked with too long, Lana Banana- I will <span class="u">not</span> have this piece of shit torture us!</em></p><p><em>Put it aside,</em> she told her sister, noticing the demons converging on the spirit of the Divine at the mouth of the cavern. <em>Right now, we must make haste- our spirit is in trouble. </em></p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>If we were expecting an acknowledgment of our assistance, we were sadly mistaken- as soon as we defeated the demons, the spirit faded away, leaving us standing alone at a split in the road. “Well, that was fucking helpful,” I groused, looking between the two paths. “Not even a ‘thanks for saving my vessel, here’s my phone number, call me up later.”  Lana frowned at my flippant statement, and I sighed. “Look, I don’t know which way to go, Lana. I was kinda hoping Casper was gonna tell us something, but I guess she had more important shit to do.” </p><p>Cass frowned, looking at the spot the spirit once stood, then turned hopefully to me. "Sam, you said you can track people- can you not just track the spirit and send us in that direction?"</p><p>"If it was a person, then yeah, but I can't track what doesn't have a body," I grumbled, shoving my hands in my pockets and kicking a nearby rock. "I swear, I <em>hate</em> this fucking place!"</p><p>“While I’m sure throwing the equivalent of a hissy fit at every turn is doing <em>wonders</em> for your mental state,” Dorian groused, “it is doing quite the number on mine, dear Sam. I say we pick a path- the worst thing that happens is we backtrack and take the other one.”</p><p>“No,” Hawke said, eying the Northern path. “The worst that happens is we all die gruesome deaths. Personally, I'm not a fan of such an outcome, so I’d like to have a bit more to go on before I go trouncing off into the bloody fade!”</p><p>Suddenly, there was a chuckle from behind us and I looked up at Lana, my eyes just as wide as the ones looking back at me. “Y'all just can't stop causing a commotion out here, can you?” When I looked over at the young man, I swallowed- just as I thought, our visitor was none other than the pilot, smirking at us with his hands in his pockets. “Newbie… kid…” After he looked over at the other confused faces, he turned back to us, his smirk even wider. “I see you picked up the rest of your crew… nice job.”</p><p>“The pilot,” Lana breathed, staring at him in amazement and inching closer to me. “So… it wasn’t a dream, then?” </p><p>“Nah… it ain’t never that easy.” He glanced at me, then looked over at Lana and crossed his arms casually, appearing remarkably relaxed despite our confusion. “Looks like you guys are a bit lost, huh?”</p><p>“Somewhat,” she admitted, looking over the two paths and biting her lip. “We are unsure which way to go- the Divine has left us, and we seem to be at an impasse.” </p><p>“Guess you need a guide,” he said, his face faltering for a moment before his lips turning up into a smile. “For verity’s sake, that woman plays the longest con I’ve ever seen,” he muttered to himself. When I looked at him with confusion, he just squared his shoulders and tossed his dark hair out of his eyes, looking over at me with a sad smile. “You ready for this, kid?”</p><p>“To get the hell out of here? You’re goddamn right I am,” I replied. “Which way, o great spiritual guide?” I gave the pilot a mocking bow, my eyes never leaving his. “Which way leads to our salvation and which way to our doom?”</p><p>“Both,” he replied simply, once again ignoring my confused look before turning back to Lana. He held out a glowing orb to my sister, the light reflecting off his ethereal face and giving it an unearthly glow. “Seems like you’ve left a memory or two behind… you ready to claim your shit, newbie?” </p><p>Lana nodded, and I could feel the anchor surging into my ring as her mark flared. “Show me- it’s high time we left this place.” </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>When Lana opened her eyes, all she could see was a jagged landscape, with a sickening green haze in the air. She tried to open her mouth to speak, but she felt as if all the air had been sucked from her body- she coughed, the acrid air burning her lungs. But before she could begin to ponder where she was, Lana heard an unearthly screech that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. Trying her best not to panic, she reached on her back and frowned when she realized she was still in her earth clothes. For a split second she felt panic rising in her throat at the thought of being stranded somewhere with no weapons with her, but she calmed down when she was able to feel her magic swirling inside her again. “This… is not good,” she muttered to herself. “What in the world have I gotten myself into now?”</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>“Can’t tell you that,” a voice said from her right. “But I can tell you that you probably don’t want to stay out here too long.” </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>“Who are you?” Lana asked, staring at the man who had appeared next to her. “And where am I, for that matter?” </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>“From what I can tell, you guys call it the Fade,” he replied, helping her to her feet. “But I’ll be honest, this place ain’t the friendliest stop on my route, ‘specially not for someone who just started breathin’ again- best to get you out of here, newbie.”</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>“I appreciate the help,” she said quickly, but I find that I don’t quite know what you are,” she admitted. “How do I know you aren’t a malicious spirit sent to kill me?” </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>“First, if I was gonna kill you, why wouldn’t I do it when you were passed out in front of me? And second, why would I keep you safe from those little spider-thingies that were trying to take a bite out of your pretty little hide?” Another screech rolled over the landscape, and the man stiffened up. “Looks like it’s time for us to get moving," he remarked, pulling her in the opposite direction. “Come on, time to get you out of here, newbie.”</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>As they ran across the strange landscape, Lana felt like her brain was reeling- in her haze, she stumbled on a rock, but his warm hands caught her before she hit the ground. “What in the Maker are you talking about?” </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>He paused for a second, peering into her face.“You’re a Roberts, ain’t ya?” Then he shook his head, helping her back to her feet. "You’d have to be, with those freaky eyes of yours, plus I don’t think she’d have called me out here otherwise.” When she was stable once again, he removed his hands from her shoulders and put them in his pockets. “How’d you get mixed up with the kid?” </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>“Who?” Lana was tired- everything on her body ached, and her hand was burning something awful. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean or who you are, sir.” </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>“Sir?” The man chuckled, offering her a canteen of water he’d pulled out of the pocket of his coat. “That’s a new one- I don’t think anyone has ever called me ’sir’ before. Can’t say I don’t like it, but how about you just call me the pilot for now.” He gave her a sweeping bow, and she found herself smiling, despite the horrible circumstances. “Sit,” he said, gesturing to a rock next to her. “You look like you’re about to pass out- take a drink and get your bearings.”</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Not sure why the strange man was helping her but deciding she was in no position to turn down the help, Lana rested on the rock and drank greedily from the canteen, immediately feeling better the moment the cool liquid touched her tongue. “So,” she asked carefully, “when you say ‘her’, you mean…”</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>“Nia,” he answered as if it were obvious. “I’m curious about why she chose you, though- she usually doesn’t take people unless there’s a reason.” </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Lana gave a mirthless chuckle. “So it would appear.” She drank some more of the water, then handed the container back to the pilot. “She warned me it wouldn’t be easy, but I didn’t think I’d die so soon after coming back- I fear I’ve done something wrong.”</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>“With her, it never is.” He drank the last of the water, returning the canteen to his pocket. "Plus, I can say with certainty that you’re not dead-you’re a newbie.” His eyes roamed over her and he gave Lana a sad smile.”Be thankful- not too many dead people get an opportunity like this, trust me."</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>“Why do you keep calling me that?” Lana huffed, staring at him and trying to figure out just what in the world was going on. “Again, I have no blasted clue what you're talking about!”</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>“Your brand-new,” he replied simply. “Looks like Nia gave you a new body,” he said approvingly. “Nice touch on her part, considering the old one was obliterated- when that happens, getting a new one is the best option, trust me. Super painful to come back from that kind of thing, you know.”</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>She stared at him, his words seeing a chill across her spine. “How do you know what happened to me?” </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>He just gave her a look. “Who do you think took you across?” When Lana just stared at him with her mouth open wide, the pilot gave her a dazzling grin. “Oh yeah,” he replied. "The kid left that particular job to me… she’s not a fan of being over there too much. Never did tell me why, though.”</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>“You-“ she started to say something else, but a scream tore through the air, silencing her instantly. “What was that?” Lana asked, pulling her puffy silver coat tightly around her. “I thought the spiders were gone.” </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>“Guess they had friends,” the pilot replied, helping her to her feet. “Break time’s over- best get moving.”</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>After reclaiming Lana's memory, our weird little party trudged along in the fade, not saying too much to each other- Varric and Cass were eyeing the pilot with something between distrust and terror, while Ali and Hawke were pressed against Lana and me so tightly that I could barely breathe. Dorian was the only one who wasn't displaying outward nerves, but I suspect he had long since reached peak 'fuck it all' and was just along for the ride at this point.</p><p>"Well, there ya go," the pilot said as he gestured to the glowing rift in the distance. "Kinda poetic, ain't it? Jump in, jump out- I hear there's an old Earth song that's kinda similar to that."</p><p>Ignoring his reference, I just shook my head. “So, if we want to get home, we gotta jump through another rift,” I asked as we came to the end of the path, eyeing the pilot nervously. When he nodded, I scowled. “Last I checked, guides don't usually travel by fade rifts,” I said pointedly. “Care to share why you got us hopping through one? Why don’t you just take us all back right now?”</p><p>“You know it doesn’t work that way, kid- one passenger at a time… you know the rules.” He made a big show of counting the heads of the members of our party, placing a freezing hand on my forehead. “And I know it’s been a minute since I was last alive, but seven seems like a helluva lot more than one.” </p><p>“Since when did you start going by rules?" He scowled at me and I shoved his hand away. “Whatever," I groused. "I’m tired, cold, and hungry. Let’s get to jumping so we can get the hell out of here.”</p><p>“Gladly,” Dorian said before taking my hand and walking me a small ways away from the group. “Sam,” he said quietly, “when you called him a guide, I get the feeling you weren’t talking about him showing us the proper path in this blasted place...what did you mean?” </p><p>“Guides handle travel between worlds,” I told him. “Mom can do it, but she never really liked to… She said that if you’re human, it’s too easy to lose yourself when you travel someplace for the first time, so a guide usually shows you the way.” I looked over at the pilot, who now looked a little bit grim. “Looks like he's ours… I saw him when we were heading here… he stayed with me when I wasn’t feeling well, and he helped me out when Lana and I were fighting those weird things back there… but he <em>knows</em> mom,” I whispered. “And to be honest, that scares me.” </p><p>“Noted,” Dorian said, giving an askew glance at the pilot. “Look, we’re almost at the rift- just… get to your sister. If any more baddies pop up, you two can do your weird explosion thing, and we can all get out of this blasted place, ok? Then we can all march home in the cold and muck, retire to our lovely bath, and you can tell me all your theories over a nice glass of wine- how does that sound?” </p><p>“Sounds perfect,” I said, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek, causing the Altus to smile at me. “Last one in the hot tub gets to fight Ali for the last piece of cheese,” I teased. “And as a prize, they get the last glass of wine.” </p><p>“You have a deal, Sam.” He tweaked my nose and I swatted his hand away, laughing for what felt like the first time in ages. “By the way, I shall be pouring tiny glasses in an effort to make this whole endeavor worth my while.” </p><p>“Cheater,” I chided him as I walked up to Lana, who was talking with Ali and Hawke. “Lana, you ready? I feel… <em>strange, </em>like something huge is gonna happen, you know?”</p><p>“Oh, you mean like us possibly having to fight a horrible demon that has stolen my wife’s memories?” Ali asked. “Or is it the prospect of us jumping into another rift just because your spectral little friend over there says it's a good idea?”  </p><p>He gave me a worried look, and I bit my lip. “I know,” I told him, unable to reassure him about anything. “But it checks out- there’s a dark spot ahead, which means that whatever is going to happen is going to happen, no matter what we do. It’s just those damn shimmering threads that are bugging the shit out of me, Ali,” I admitted. “I still see them and I can’t understand why.” </p><p>Ali started to respond, but before he could answer, the ground began to rumble, almost knocking us off our feet. Instantly, the spirit of the Divine appeared again, looking panicked. “You must go! I will keep it busy, but you must get clear-“</p><p>Without warning, a gigantic spider-like creature roared out of the ground, looming in front of us. “<em>GO!</em>” The Divine yelled. “Tell Leliana that I’m sorry… I failed her, too.” </p><p>Before we could say a word, the pilot dragged Lana and me toward the rift, only to be met by another explosion. “<em>Fools! You dare to think that you can enter my lair, and leave without recompense!</em>” The nightmare’s voice echoed all around us, making my ears hurt as the cadre of demons swarmed around us. "<em>I will destroy you!</em>”</p><p><em>Ali!</em> I thought, reaching out in my mind in a panic, <em>while we’re distracting this thing, get everyone else through the rift! </em></p><p>I didn’t have time to think about his response since the swaths of spider-like creatures and the visage of the Nightmare were both coming close, and I was almost out of energy- we had to make this count. I looked over to Lana, squaring my shoulders and gathering all the energy I had left. <em>You ready for this, Lana Banana? </em></p><p><em>Bomb-dot-com?</em> Lana asked with a worried smile. When I nodded, she grabbed my hand. <em>Extra crispy? </em></p><p><em>Just add mage,</em> I replied, grimacing as an explosion of lightning erupted all around us. </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
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    <em>I was in the swing on our sun porch, and mom had just finished helping me practice stopping time. My body was covered in welts from getting shot at with ping pong balls all day, but I didn’t mind- it meant I didn’t have to think about how I had failed everyone by not being strong enough. As I rested my head against the back of the swing,</em>
    <em> mom came back with two glasses of lemonade, smiling as she handed one of the icy beverages to me. Exhausted from her training session, I took the drink gratefully, letting the cool liquid slide down my tongue.  “God, I suck- this is too hard,” I said, rubbing my arms. “I’m never going to be able to do this."</em>
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    <em>“You don’t have a choice,” she said simply, taking a sip from her glass. “You’re a Roberts, kid- we hold the world in our hands.”</em>
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    <em>“Technically,” I said, glancing up at her over the rim of my cup. "I’m a Winchester."</em>
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    <em>“Well, nobody’s perfect,” she said as she poked in the ribs, laughing as she kissed me on the head, “ Trust me, when you do get this right, you’re gonna be amazing, kid.”</em>
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    <em>“But seriously, what do I do? How do I stop being scared?” I looked out over the garden, sitting my glass down and trying not to cry. "I’ve already lost everything, mom”</em>
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    <em>“That’s the best time,” she said, smoothing my hair back from my face. “When you’ve lost everything, you’ve got nothing left to lose.” She sighed, leaning against the back of the swing and resting an arm behind my back. “I already told you… once you finally just let go and stop being so damn afraid, you’re going to do amazing things, kid.” </em>
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    <em>I started to scowl but Mom just smiled, hugging me tightly and rubbing my back. “You’re my daughter, Sam… trust me.” </em>
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</blockquote><p>“Get up, you fools!” I heard a voice hiss from my side. “I’m not leaving without you two!” </p><p>Trying to stop the ringing in my ears, I struggled to focus on the voice next to me, and my vision cleared just enough to see Hawke and Ali pulling Lana and me to our feet. “Did we get them?” I croaked, wobbling in Hawke's arms and looking around wildly. “Where are the others?” </p><p>“Through the rift,” Ali answered, dragging an injured Lana over his shoulder. “Come, let’s get you both through- I’ve had enough of this blasted place to last me a thousand lifetimes!”</p><p>“Same,” Hawke replied as he helped me get my balance. “After this, I want a dreamless draught on draft poured for me every night,” he huffed as we headed toward the rift. “I don’t ever want-“ </p><p>His last words died out as the spider demon from before rose in front of us, looming large over the rift. “<em>You dare think you can escape!</em>” The nightmare roared, the horrifying legs waving back and forth menacingly. “Foolish girls,” it hissed, “I <em>AM</em> your fear! I thrive on it, wrap myself in it!” The eyes stared down at us, the hatred radiating from every surface. “Your fear will sustain me for eternity!”</p><p>We dove under a rock for cover, desperate to figure out our next move. The screeching was loud, but for the moment, the creature wasn’t advancing. “We’re not getting past that thing easily,” Hawke said nervously, looking over at Ali. “We need a distraction.”</p><p>Suddenly the shimmering paths solidified in my head, and I looked up in alarm. <em>Lana</em>, I thought, <em>Ali and Hawke have to get out of here… Now. </em></p><p>Her head snapped up in alarm and she looked at me carefully, wincing at the sudden movement. She had a large cut over her eye, and even from here I could see that her arm was jutting out at an odd angle- she needed to get out of here, and fast. <em>What aren’t you telling me, Sam?</em></p><p>Swallowing, I looked over at my sister, cousin, and brother, and realized what I had to do. “Hawke, Ali… I need you to get Lana out of here,” I said. “She’s in bad shape.” </p><p>“What about you!” Hawke spluttered, gesturing to me in frustration. “I.. I fucked this up in the first place- I should have made sure Corypheus was dead the first time... I should have paid more attention to what Anders was doing,” he said sadly before giving me a steely look. “I’m not letting my family suffer for my mistakes, Sam.”</p><p>“Get her out of here,” I said firmly, unable to look him in the eye. “I’m going to use what I have left to lure him away and stop time,” I said. “But I don’t have the energy here to be selective- I need you guys out of here to do it.” </p><p>Quickly, I looked over at their faces, realizing the weight of my decision as the threads settled into place. Lana still had a part to play- Mom brought her back for a reason, and she needed her family. There was no way I was going to let her husband or her cousin take this on- this was too big. “When I go out there,” I said, fighting a lump in my throat and putting on my best cocky expression, “I’m gonna run in the opposite direction. I mean, he said it earlier,” I told them with a grin I hoped read as sincere, “I <em>am</em> the tastiest morsel of the group. Like John says, gotta give the people what they want, right?” </p><p>“Sam,” Ali said slowly, looking between Lana and me, “there’s got to be another way. We’ll think of something, we’ll-“</p><p>“You’ll take care of my sister,” I said, stopping him before he could continue, placing a kiss on his cheek as I tapped the side of my head. “Crappy fortune teller, remember? I got this.”</p><p>Before I could stand up from cover, Lana gave me a stern look. “You’re coming back.” It wasn’t a question- it was a statement that brokered no argument, and I wished like hell I could give her the certainty she was looking for.  She must have seen the indecision on my face, so she grimaced and pointed a finger at me. “Don’t argue with me, Squeak- you are coming back, and that is an order.” </p><p>I nodded as I hugged her, being careful not to hurt her more than she already was. “I love you, Lana Banana… and if you ever call me that again, I’m going to murder you, just so you know.” </p><p>“Then come back and I won’t,” she whispered in my ear. "Promise me," she said fiercely, her eyes locked to mine. "Promise me, Sam."</p><p>I didn't want to promise her, but the look on her face made me relent, my mouth choking on the words I knew I shouldn't say. "I promise."</p><p>“I love you,” Lana whispered, pulling me into another firm hug before she stood up, wiping her eyes before looking over at Hawke and Ali. “Ready?” </p><p>Before I could say a word, Hawke raced over and gave me a crushing hug. “You better come back,” he whispered in my ear. “I’m not losing my baby cousin to some stupid monster in the fade- it would be embarrassing." </p><p>“Perish the thought,” I said, kissing him on the cheek. “Get our cousin out of here safe and prep a glass of ale for me, ok?” </p><p>“Only the best for you,” he said, hooking an arm under Lana. “Just hurry up and come back so we can start scrubbing this horror from our brains.”</p><p>Ali didn’t say a word to me- he just hooked his other arm under Lana, nodding as we all took our places. “Ready,” he replied flatly. “Sparrow… we’ll be waiting for you.” </p><p>I nodded, not wanting to lie to them any more than I already had.</p><p>Taking a deep breath and steadying myself before I could lose my nerve, I dashed out from behind the rock, waving my arms and jumping up and down. “<em>Hey!</em>” I screamed, tossing a rock at the creature, hitting it in the leg and watching as it swiveled its head toward me. “Hey, you evil sonofabitch! You want me? You think it’s gonna be that fucking easy?” I watched out of the corner of my eye as the others crept unnoticed from behind the rock and I breathed an inward sigh of relief. “Then come get me, you piece of shit!” </p><p>When it still hadn’t moved enough to allow them to clear the rift, I drew on the dregs of my energy, thankful I was still in the fade- <em>here, I can create anything,</em> I thought as I conjured a ball of fire, hitting it in the eye and making the thing let out a scream of pure rage. "<em>YOU!</em>” The creature roared, rearing on its legs and racing toward me. “<em>YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT</em>!”</p><p><em>I’m counting on it,</em> I thought, hauling ass in the opposite direction and breathing a sigh of relief as it moved away from the rift. Soon, I felt Lana’s connection go dim, and I knew she’d left the fade- the only one I could still feel was Ali. <em>Go,</em> I told him.<em> Go be with your wife… please.</em></p><p><em>Sparrow! </em>Ali cried, and I could hear the sadness in his words, <em>I can’t watch this again… I can’t watch you die too, Sam.</em></p><p>“Then don’t,” I said, feeling one last tear roll down my cheek as I turned to my brother just as the nightmare surged forward. For the first time, I finally understood what my mom was saying that day, and I looked up at the creature barreling toward me. In addition to that feeling of fear, there was also resolve- it was the same resolve I felt when I saved my life that day, or when I took charge and saved John from that bullet, or when I chose to come back to Thedas for my sister. As soon as I realized it, I felt a spark deep in my gut, and those shimmering threads morphed into a solid, short, and blinding path.</p><p>When the threads had all settled I smiled to myself, realizing that this was what Lana must have felt like that day. For the first time in ten years, I wasn't angry at her for it- I finally understood why she did it, and I had never felt more proud of someone in my entire life. "Tell them I love them... and I'm sorry."</p><p>Knowing that I’d never get the chance to do something this cool again and unable to resist the final chance to be a smart-ass, I looked up at the creature and hissed, “I warned you… don’t fuck with Team Mage, you ugly bitch.” </p><p>And just as I’d seen in my vision, the nightmare loomed over me as I called upon the last of my very essence, enveloping the world a blinding storm of purple light.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm so sorry! I tried to fight this outcome, but this has been in the works ever since part one. </p><p>If you're curious, the pilot comes from Nia's story (the Whistling in the Darkness series), which talks about her background and how she came to be how she is...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. You Promised</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>the aftermath of Adamant</p>
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<hr/><p>After shielding his eyes from the blinding purple light, the pilot crept through the now desolate landscape, feeling the dry wind blowing his dark hair back. Scanning the area, he was secretly hoping that Sam would have pulled a rabbit out of her hat and would pop up unharmed, despite the decimating-levels of magic she’d just unleashed. <em>I mean, she is her daughter,</em> he thought as he made his way over to the epicenter of the blast, shooing away the ashes floating in front of his face. <em>Maybe she’s got a million and a half lives like her mom… stranger things have happened, right? </em></p><p>As he lowered himself in the crater, he felt his heart seize up when he saw Sam’s tiny and broken form, steam still wafting off her body. Scrambling over to her, he scooped the girl in his arms, trying not to gag at the smell of charred flesh wafting up to his nostrils. <em>You evil bitch,</em> he spat as he sat next to Sam, stroking her singed hair and fighting tears. <em>She was your kid, Nia! How could you let this happen to her?</em> He looked around, expecting to see Nia appear and save Sam, just as she had done with Lana, but there was nothing but stillness- Sam had obliterated the area, leaving nothing but stone and ash in her wake, and the only sounds were the frantic taps of his fingers against her blistered skin and the whistle of the acrid wind as it carried away the last of the Nightmare. <em>You saved the other one- why not her?</em></p><p>The pilot gazed around the pit for a few more seconds, hoping that maybe something had changed, but it was pointless- the girl nestled in his arms remained still and cold, and he felt a sense of sadness he’d never felt while he was alive and only had glimpses of during his long tenure in the afterlife. He’d never been a good person, he’d always been the first to admit that. But when Nia had taken him with her that day, the pilot had gotten the chance to do more than he’d ever dreamed possible. When she’d asked him to watch over Sam as she trekked through Thedas, he’d scoffed at first, but just like he always did when she asked him for something, he’d paused and stared at his oldest friend curiously. “Why can’t you do it, kid?”</p><p>Nia didn’t even look up from tending her flower garden. “Because I’m not supposed to be there… you know that.” </p><p>The pilot frowned, watching her carefully. Though she hid it very well from most people, he was one of the few that could always discern when she was hiding something. “No,” he mused, crouching next to her and blocking her hands. "There’s more to it, isn’t there?” </p><p>In all the time he’d known her, she’d never lied to him, and it didn’t look like she was about to start now. Sighing, she paused what she was doing, rocking back on her heels. “There always is,” she admitted. “But I can’t tell you about it.” </p><p>“I’ll do it… but on one condition,” he said, his grey eyes sparkling with joy at the fact that after all this time, he’d finally gotten some leverage over his friend. “If I do this for you, then I get to tell her who I am.” </p><p>She frowned, crossing her arms and staring at him intently. He squirmed under her gaze, grateful that she still couldn’t read his thoughts after all this time. “Why are you in such a rush? She isn’t.”</p><p>“Because of your irritating ass husband,” he retorted, jerking his thumb toward the driveway, where Dean was tinkering underneath a black car. “I swear, it’s like you pick the most unlikeable men in the universe on purpose, kid?”</p><p> The sound of her laughing was enough to make the pilot feel alive again. “Funny, looks like you’re the common denominator in all these situations- ever think of that?” </p><p>“Haha,” he replied flatly. “Those are my terms, kid- take ‘em or leave ‘em.” </p><p>Nia let out a soft huff, but the pilot just crossed his arms and stared at her, unblinking. Finally, she looked away, and he grinned, overjoyed at being able to win at least one battle against her after all this time. “You can tell her at the end,” she said quietly. “That’s when she’ll need to know- but not a minute before, ok?” He started to reply, but she put up a warning finger. "No matter what happens, you can’t interfere, understand? She has to do this on her own.” </p><p>“Fine,” he said dismissively, extending his hand to her. “You’ve got a deal, kid.” </p><p>Now, the pilot rested his forehead against Sam's, trying to make some sense out of everything that had happened. <em>Fuck it</em>, he thought as he stood up, cradling her body in his arms. <em>Squeak deserves better than an end like this. Besides, he thought as he opened the doorway, you promised, kid.</em></p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Cullen felt like his world was crumbling as quickly as the walkway in front of him- even though the sounds of battle were raging on around him, he was as still as a statue. No matter what he did, he couldn’t bring any part of himself to move- all he could do was stare at the spot where the most important people in his life had vanished from. “Samantha,” he said, choking on the words as soon as he’d let them slip from his lips, “please… come back to me.” </p><p>Just then, he heard the shriek of a demon right next to his ear and he whirled around with his blade, only stopping when he saw the sallow face of Cole staring back at him, his knives buried in the flesh of the demon. “Connected by space and time,” Cole said, looking at his ring. “It hums even when her voice is silent, a sign her soul still touches yours.” </p><p>Too stunned to speak but understanding exactly what he was telling him, Cullen nodded mutely, taking a deep breath and forcing himself to focus. No matter what else was going on, he was the leader of the Inquisition’s forces and he owed his full attention to his troops- his wife had almost lost herself with grief at the thought of them not doing what they could for them, so he would fight with every fiber of his being to make sure the men and women under his command returned home. Once he was satisfied his message had been delivered, the strange boy rushed off, quickly hidden from view by the melee raging on around him. </p><p>Fighting with every ounce of strength he had, the commander fought his way to the rift that had opened in the courtyard. Ever so often he’d take a breath, taking reassurance from the slight warmth that he’d grown accustomed to feeling beneath the ring on his finger. Focusing on that sensation brought him back to his senses, allowed his mind to start working again. <em>Even though I can’t talk to her, we’re still connected,</em> he thought. <em>She can feel you too, so you have to be strong for her.</em></p><p>Seeing the swarms of demons pouring through the rift and no sign of his wife and sister, Cullen tried desperately to keep the panic that threatened to overwhelm him at bay. Gathering his resolve, he raced into the fray, fighting alongside Blackwall and Solas as they worked together to dispatch a small horde of rage demons. Before he could stop himself, Cullen found himself reaching for the arm of the elven apostate, desperate for any sign that his hope was not in vain. “Solas,” he panted, out of breath from exertion and worry, “could they have survived? They could still be alive, yes?”</p><p>The elf’s blue eyes were calm as they met his, his expression giving nothing away. “They are two of the strongest women I know, Commander.” Solas turned back to the rift, brandishing his staff as more demons prepared to exit the rift. “If anyone can do it, it would be them."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“Well, that was certainly worthy of being included in a serial,” the pilot drawled, extending a hand to me. “Mind telling me where ‘don’t fuck with Team Mage, bitch’ came from?”</p><p>“If I was going out, I figured I might as well go out like a boss.” I took his hand and stood up, then frowned when I noticed it felt warm and solid inside my own. “Did you dip your hands in an oven or something? You’re usually freezing, man.” </p><p>He glanced down at me, and an expression of concern flickered across his face before being replaced with the kind of smile that a counselor might use. “Eh, don’t worry about it, kid,” he said. “More importantly, how are you feeling?”</p><p>I shrugged, my eyes roaming around the room and trying to figure out where I was- this time, I wasn’t in a bedroom, but in a weird kitchen-like place. “I feel fine, surprisingly. “Thought turning myself into a bomb would have left more of a mark- guess I’m better at this than I thought.”</p><p>“Guess so.” His smile faltered a little before settling back into place, but he got up and went to the fridge before I could say anything, getting two bottles of water and setting them down on the table. Feeling as parched as if I was traveling through the Western Approach again, I took a seat and grabbed for the bottle and drank it greedily. Shaking his head at my thirsty demonstration, the pilot sat across from me then noticed my now completely blackened ring. “Where’d you get that, kid?” </p><p>“Mom gave it to me,” I said with a shrug as I set the bottle down on the table. “Seems to help Lana with her mark, so it’s been pretty nifty all around as far as I’m concerned.”</p><p>His expression was unreadable as he sipped his water. “I bet it is.” After a minute, he pointed to my wedding ring, then shook his head and let out a soft laugh. “I didn’t know she still had that.. can’t believe it’s still here after all this time.” I gave him a confused look, and he just smiled. “I remember helping the guy who gave that to her pick it out,” he said, finishing his water and letting out a deep sigh. “She’s pulling out all the stops… can’t say I’m surprised- that woman wasn’t ever subtle.”</p><p>“I feel like I know you from somewhere.” I fixed him with a hard stare, trying to put some pieces together in my mind and leaning toward him. “I’ve seen you somewhere else… I know I have."</p><p>He didn’t waver under my stare at all. “You have.” When I glared at his non-answer, the pilot sighed. “Grande cafe mocha, no whip, tall peppermint tea, and a venti coffee.” </p><p>“Huh?” I blinked at him, cocking my head in confusion. ‘What the hell are you talking about?” He just gave me a slight smile, the corners of his mouth turning up just enough to reveal the dimples in his cheeks. I had no idea how old he was, but that was par for the course when it came to anyone who had the fortune… or misfortune… to be associated with mom. “While all of those things sound delicious, I’m at a total fucking loss what a Starbucks order has to do with anything.”</p><p>“It was your order,” he replied. “Best I could do for you till your mom and dad came through… figured you two would appreciate it.”</p><p>I paused, turning his words over in my mind, then stared at him in open-mouthed shock as I remembered when Lana and I were waiting in the Between for Mom. “You were the cashier at Starbucks?”</p><p>“Hey,” he said, leaning closer and pointing at me, “I’ll have you know I was a <em>barista</em>, kid.” Then he gave me a wink and folded his arms behind his head and kicking his feet on the table, his boots landing on the metal with two loud thuds. “And a damn good one, I might add.” </p><p>“So if that’s the case…” I replied, watching his expression carefully, “then you know my mom kinda well, huh?” </p><p>He nodded, and for just a moment, his eyes flitted to my hand before returning to my face. “Yeah... the kid and I go way back.”</p><p>“What?” I asked, looking down at the blackened stone and back up to him, trying to see if he would give some indication of what he was thinking. “What’s the deal with you and my jewelry?" I asked, twisting the ring back and forth on my finger. "You keep looking at it and it’s making me nervous- what’s your deal?” </p><p>He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “You ever look at the inscription on that one?” When I looked at him with surprise, he gestured to my hand. “Maybe you should take a look, then.” Nervously, I took off the ring and peered inside the gold band. Sure enough, written inside was a worn, faded inscription- <em>Whenever you need a guide, I’ll be there</em>.</p><p>“Ok, I said nervously, “we gotta get his out the way right now- you’re not my dad anything like that, are you? Cause that’s some Maury level shit that I’m <em>so</em> not in the mood for right now.” </p><p>“Not that kind of ring, kid", he said with a laugh, almost falling backward out of his chair, “Trust me, you’re Dean’s kid, through and through. To be honest, I’m surprised to see that she still kept it- thought she would have tossed both of these bobbles a long time ago.”</p><p>“Good to know,” I replied, settling back in my seat and getting a distinct feeling that my family tree was <em>probably</em> a little more fucked up than I initially thought. “Cause that would’ve been awkward.” </p><p>“Yep,” the pilot said, his eyes never leaving my face as I slid the ring back on my finger. “I suppose it’s almost as awkward as two dead people having a conversation, huh?” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Varric felt like his legs were on fire as he raced toward the rift, hoping with every fiber of his being that he wasn't running headfirst into his own destruction. “Hurry!” Alistair cried as the green light loomed in front of them. “You have to get out of here!” </p><p>“And what of you?” Cass asked, easily keeping up with the group and looking as if the punishing pace had been nothing more than a pleasant jog. “Sam and Lana told us all to go ahead!”</p><p>Varric looked at the warden, then realized what was happening. It was obvious that Alistair had no intention of leaving the women behind- he was trying to ensure that everyone else got to safety first. “Cheesy,” Varric said, placing a hand on his friend’s arm as they arrived at the rift, “you have to bring our girls home.”</p><p>“Don’t worry,” Hawke said as he placed another hand on Ali’s arm. “I’m not going to let him take all the glory for bringing my lovely cousins back to the fold.” He looked over at Varric, and his cocksure expression faltered for a moment. “I already abandoned her once,” he said softly. “I don’t intend on doing it again.”</p><p>“Hawke-“ Varric felt a lump rise in his throat, and he looked up at his best friend with dread and admiration. He wanted to beg him to come with them- he had to fight the urge to drag him through the rift by his collar and make sure that for once, his friend was safe, but in the end, he just closed his eyes. “Be careful,” was all he could say. “You’ve got family out here, too.”</p><p>“Just in case,” Hawke whispered, “tell Anders I’m sorry. Tell him-“</p><p>The thought of having to deliver those words to Anders… to Bethany… hell, to <em>anyone</em>, made Varric almost fling the rogue into the rift himself. He glanced over at Ali and Dorian and knew that the two men were probably having a similar conversation. <em>This is too much</em>, he thought. <em>No one should have to make a choice like this- haven’t these kids been through enough? </em></p><p>Not trusting his voice to do what he needed it to, he looked away. “Tell him yourself,” Varric said quickly. “Just hurry up and bring your ass back here with our favorite ladies, ok?” </p><p>The last words Varric heard before the rift swallowed them up were a faint “I promise.”</p><p class="p1">
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</p>
<hr/><p><em>“Excuse me?”</em> I yelled as I launched myself out of the chair and stood up, enraged. “How the fuck am I dead? I’m inside the Between! If I’m dead, I wouldn’t be here!” I scanned the kitchen wildly, pressing my hands to my hair. “MOM!” I screamed, staring at the ceiling, “MOM, I NEED YOU!”</p><p>The man sitting across from me didn't say a word, which only served to enrage me even more. “How are you so calm!” I cried, pointing angrily at the door. “My family is out there! My friends are out there- I can’t leave them like this!” Frustrated, I flopped in the seat, my eyes burning with hot tears. “I need to go back,” I said frantically. “How do I get back? What do I have to do?” In a panic, my eyes darted around the room, frantically searching for an exit. “Mom can fix this,” I wheezed. “She can find a way to make it so-“</p><p>The pilot just looked at me, his face giving nothing away. “Trust me, reaching out for her ain't gonna do you any good at this point.” He gestured to the chair next to me and he sighed. “Sit down.” When I scowled, he raised an eyebrow as he crossed his arms, casually adjusting his legs and staring at me. “You ever notice that you use your mom as a crutch a lot? When Lana died, the first thing you did was look for your mom. I tell you that you’re dead, and you immediately start yelling for her- ever think about trying to handle things for yourself, kid?” </p><p>“But mom can fix this!” I screamed, standing up again and shoving his feet off the table. “I didn’t want to do it, but there wasn’t another choice,” I cried. "I was the best option!” I looked around, trying my best not to panic and failing spectacularly. “I don’t have any way to change this!” I yelled, shoving him in the shoulder and trying to push him out the chair. “Mom has all the powers, not me!” I said tearfully, beating on his arms and back before sinking to the floor and crumbling in a heap. “I can’t do anything,” I whispered. “I need Mom.”</p><p>From above me, I heard the scraping of metal across the floor, then felt strong arms wrap around me. “Funny, I think you’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.” I scoffed, and he pulled me closer to him, rubbing my back gently. “You just saved everyone, Sam. That wasn’t your mom,” he whispered in my ear. “That was all you, kid… and I’m proud of you.”</p><p>“Why do you care?” I mumbled. “I don’t even know who you are… all I know is I’m dead and that you probably banged my mom somewhere down the line.” I wiped my eyes with my hand and sniffled. “Which makes this whole situation extra fucking creepy when you think about it.”</p><p>“That’s not all you know… you know I’m dead too,” he said with a laugh. I snorted, making him laugh even louder. “Law knows your mom would either laugh her head off or hurl herself off a bridge if she heard you talking about me and her like that.” He sighed, and I turned my head up to look at him. “Alex Hawthorne,” he said before letting out a soft laugh. “Man, I haven’t used that name in a long fucking time,” he said bitterly. “Been kind of a relief to leave that part of me behind, but hey, the past always catches up with you, I guess.” </p><p>“Nice to finally meet you, Alex,” I said quietly, rubbing my hands together. “Still doesn’t explain why I’m stuck spending my afterlife with a dead guy who looks like he's still got the hots for my mom.”</p><p>“That’s easy,” he said, shifting so I could rest my head in his lap, closing my eyes while I continued to cry silently. “It’s cause I’m your godfather,” he whispered, stroking my hair. “And when you were born, I promised my best friend that I'd always look out for you."</p><p class="p1">
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</p>
<hr/><p>When the demons stopped emerging and people tumbled out of the rift instead, Cullen felt a sigh of relief escape from his lips. However, his relief quickly turned into trepidation when he realized the whole party had not returned. He scanned over the figures that had emerged and felt his knees go weak when he realized that only Varric, Dorian, and Cass had come back. He waited a minute more, then tried not to scream when the others didn’t pop out of the rift.</p><p><em>The ring is still warm,</em> he thought. <em>If I can still feel her, then she’s still alive. </em></p><p>“What happened!” Cullen screamed. “Where are the others?” </p><p>“Still inside,” Varric wheezed. The dwarf was practically doubled over, but Cullen was paying him no mind- his eyes were frantically turned up to the rift, waiting for a sign that the others would be along at any moment. “Ali and Hawke went back for Hero and Sparrow- they did their magic thing to buy us time to escape, but something backfired- they went down right afterward.”</p><p>He felt his chest tighten with every word, and Cass quickly pulled him to the side. “They went to bring them back, Commander- focus on that.” When his eyes were still going wild with shock and scanning the rift every few moments, she turned him to face her. “You cannot do this now. Fall apart later if you must, but right now we must protect this area so they can come through- do you understand?”</p><p>Without thinking, he touched the ring on his hand, feeling the steady thrum as he ran his fingers over the metal. </p><p><em>Still warm,</em> he thought with relief. <em>She’s still there. </em><br/>
 <br/>
Nodding, he went back to the others, taking up arms and allowing his rage and frustration to be taken out on the throngs of demons in the courtyard. One by one, the demons fell under his blade, but he never stopped glancing at the rift, hoping to see his family tumbling out.</p><p><em>What if something has happened?</em> Cullen thought worriedly. <em>What if they are incapacitated? Should I try to go in and get them? </em></p><p>Whenever he would creep too close to the rift, that temptation got a little stronger, sounding less and less like a foolhardy idea and more and more like a sound plan. However, it was as if his companions knew his every thought- each time someone would appear at his side, giving him a curt nod and moving him toward something on the other side of the field that needed his attention or his blade.</p><p>
  <em>Still warm.</em>
</p><p>Just when he thought he could take no more, the air sizzled with electricity and Cullen jerked his head in time to see Hawke and Lana emerge from the rift.  Lana was in terrible shape- the mark was seizing and sparking with an intensity he’d never seen before, her face was bleeding from a gash on her forehead, and her arm was twisted at such an angle he knew it had to be broken in multiple places. However, she was alive, and that made his heart sing with joy. <em>Lana wouldn’t leave her sister,</em> he thought.<em> Sam should be coming with Ali.</em></p><p>
  <em>She’s still there… I can still feel her.</em>
</p><p>“Lana!” Cullen said, racing over to her and Hawke, resting Lana against a wall and wincing at her injuries. “Maker, what happened? Are you all right?” </p><p>“I took on a monster,” she said groggily, “and I didn’t win, as you can see." As she shifted, Lana let out a hiss, then looked around as Solas raced to her side, channeling magic into her mangled arm. “Ali… Sam… are they back yet?” </p><p>Cullen shook his head. “No,” he answered, a feeling of dread creeping into his gut. “Everyone else is back, but the demons keep coming through the rift.” He swallowed, staring at his sister intently and leaning in so only she could hear him. “Can you call out to her?” He asked quietly. “I can feel her, but I cannot reach her.” </p><p>“I can try,” she replied, closing her eyes. Just as she was about to say something, there was a loud shout from behind them. “Lana!” Ali cried, rushing over to his wife and holding her hand. “Thank goodness you both made it out!”</p><p>Instantly, Cullen whirled around, looking for his wife, but he couldn’t locate her anywhere in the courtyard. That sense of dread became overwhelming as he whipped his head back to the warden, feeling his knees start to give out when he noticed that his brother was avoiding his gaze. “Ali,” he croaked, “where is Sam?”</p><p>Ali opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again as he turned away from Lana and Cullen. “I-“ he began, his voice hitching in his throat. “She wouldn’t let me stay,” he croaked, turning to his wife with wide pleading eyes. “I tried to stay... but she wouldn’t let me.”</p><p>Before he could say another word, another explosion rocked the courtyard, knocking everyone to their feet and bathing everyone in an eerie purple light. As Cullen staggered to his feet, all he could focus on were the spots behind his eyes and the ringing in his ears, trying to take in the surroundings. He blinked a few times, and when he was finally able to see, Cullen breathed a sigh of relief. <em>This is Sam’s magic,</em> he thought as he stared at the frozen demons, watching as they slowly faded out of existence. The strange sight reminded him of the day she’d saved him and his soldiers at the Temple of Sacred Ashes, and for the first time since they'd returned, he felt a bloom of hope. <em>She’s doing this. She’s still out there.</em></p><p>Then he looked at Alistair and felt the bottom drop out of his world when he saw the look on his brother's face. “She said she was sorry,” he whispered. “And that she loved you.”</p><p>“NO!” Cullen screamed, trying to race toward the rift, only to be stopped by Alistair and Bull grabbing him and yanking back. “YOU PROMISED!” he howled, dropping to his knees. “YOU PROMISED ME!”</p><p>Frantically, he felt for his ring. <em>Maybe they’re wrong,</em> he thought desperately, clutching the worn metal band in his hands. <em>She’s still out there… she has to be. </em></p><p>The ring remained silent and cold.</p><p class="p1">
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</p>
<hr/><p>“If I’m dead, then you’re doing a shit job at looking out for me,” I retorted, staring at my hands. “And if I’m dead, why don’t I feel… well, <em>dead?</em> Shouldn’t I be all ghostly and shimmery and shit?” </p><p>Alex gave me a weird look. “Why would you look like that to yourself? What good would that do?” When I just frowned back, he squeezed my shoulder and sighed. “Look, kid, you see yourself how you want to. Other people…” he shrugged. “You can’t control what they see. Well, most ghosts can’t,” he said with a grin. “I’m a special case.” </p><p>“Bully for you,” I grumbled, shoving my hands in my pockets. “Look, this has been an absolute blast getting to know all about my spectral side of my family tree, but can you get me in contact with mom or not? I have people to get back to, and this whole being dead thing? Sorry, but being dead ain’t gonna cut it with me." </p><p>Alex just looked at me, his grey eyes full of pity. “It doesn’t work like that, kid.” </p><p>I stood up, putting my hands on my hips. “Apparently, it does. Lana came back from the dead, so I am one-hundred percent positive it does work like that.” When he just looked at me, I narrowed my eyes. “Get. Me. My. Mom.”</p><p>The pilot wasn’t intimidated in the least. “Can't do that," he replied flatly. "You made your choice- you saw the path, just like I did. Yeah, it ended, but you saved everyone- you did good, kid." </p><p>“But I want my life back, Alex.” Feeling the tears burn behind my eyes, I folded my arms and placed my head on the table and sobbed. “I want my sisters... I want my husband... I want my <em>family</em>, Alex,” I whispered. “That’s all I want.” </p><p>“I'm sorry,” Alex said quietly. Soon I heard the scrape of a chair moving next to me, then a warm arm draped itself across my back. “You sure have grown up, Sam. I’m proud of you.” </p><p>“How would you know,” I sniffed. “Outside of the coffee shop, I’ve never seen you.” </p><p>“Just because you’ve never seen me doesn’t mean I haven’t been there,” he replied. “I’ve been watching over you for a long time.” When I shifted to look at him, he sighed. “I couldn’t-“ Alex paused for a moment, then started again. “You were the next best thing to having a kid of my own,” he said wistfully. “No matter what, even if you didn't know it, I was always there for you, Sam.” </p><p>“Thanks, I guess,” I said, playing with my hair sadly. “Considering I’m dead, it looks like you’re off duty now.” I laughed mirthlessly, folding my hands behind my head and staring at the ceiling in an effort not to cry. “So, now that you’re off the clock, what do you plan on doing with all that free time? I hear the guitar is a good hobby.” </p><p>“You’re a bit of a shit, you know that?” He laughed, then poked me in the side. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you got that from me.” </p><p>“Yeah, well, I guess you are my godfather- it seems that all my dads could earn Ph.D.’s in sarcasm,” I replied. “It’s the love language in our house.” Then I realized what I said, and the tears welled up in my eyes again. “At least, it was- hell, maybe it still is… I guess I don’t get to know about that anymore, do I?” </p><p>“Sam,” Alex said with a sigh as I started to cry, “I’m so sorry this happened, kid. I really am.” </p><p>“Not as sorry as I am,” I choked out between sobs. “I’ve lost everything. I mean, I’m happy they made it out, and I know they’ll be okay, but I wanted to <em>be</em> there. I want to grow old with my husband. I wanted to see Lana save the world. I wanted to see my niece and nephew grow up, I wanted… I didn’t want to die,” I whispered. “I just wanted them to live."</p><p>He didn’t say anything for a moment, but then he stood up, sighing as he extended his hand to me. “Then I guess you’re right- it looks like I am off-duty, kid.” </p><p>I just looked at him, then looked away. “No shit,” I said glumly. “So, do I move on or some shit like that, or do I just stay here and crash on your couch for eternity? Either way, let’s get this over and done with- I don’t… I don’t want to think about this anymore.”</p><p>Alex didn’t say anything, but he walked over and kneeled in front of me, his face level with mine. “Didn’t that ring have a purpose,” he said, pointing at my wedding ring. “I know it did for the guy who gave it to her- I wonder if it’s the same for you.” </p><p>“Why do you care? Dead, remember?” In anger, I chucked the ring at the wall, letting out a scream of rage. “Who gives a shit! It doesn’t matter anymore!”</p><p>Giving me a look, Alex crossed the room and picked up the ring, running his finger across the emerald stones. “We picked this out because it matched her eyes,” he said wistfully.  “He said it was to let her know that no matter what, she always had a home.” </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Lana felt like her body was trapped in one of Sam’s time manipulations when she saw the burst of purple light envelop the courtyard, but it was her heart that stopped when she felt the locket against her chest go cold and silent. Immediately, she looked over at Ali, who had gone ashen and collapsed to his knees. “No,” he whispered, clutching at his pocket. “She <em>can’t</em>… it can’t be.” He looked over at Lana, and she felt her heart start to sink. “Is your-“ </p><p>She nodded, but when she heard the earth-shattering scream from Cullen, she knew.</p><p>Her sister, the one who had loved her, who had given her the family she could only dream of, the one who was her light in the darkness, was <em>gone</em>. Lana knew that things were going on around her, but she couldn’t even fathom listening to anything at the moment- it was like the world was underwater, and she was drowning in noise and emotion. <em>How did they stand</em> it, she thought, trying to get to her feet and wobbling back and forth. <em>I feel like I’m dying all over again.</em></p><p>Dazed, Lana looked over at the scene in the courtyard- to her shock and amazement, the rift had disappeared, along with all the demons spewing from it. Cullen was on the ground, screaming and being held down by Bull and Ali, while Hawke was leaning against Varric, his mouth hanging open in horror. When the dwarf noticed Lana hobbling past, his eyes snapped to hers, full of disbelief. “Is Sam-“ </p><p>She held up a hand, instantly silencing him as she moved past- she wasn’t going to hear anyone say those words to her. <em>You promised</em>, she hissed in her head, her broken hand clutching the locket around her neck. <em>You promised, Sam. </em></p><p>Dorian and Cass tried to stop her, but she ignored their protests. <em>He told me to have faith,</em> she thought angrily. <em>Well, I have more than faith- I have this anchor and I will rip another hole in this maker-blasted sky to get my sister back.</em> She knew her arm was still broken- Solas hadn’t had time to fully heal it before the chaos erupted across the courtyard, but she didn’t care about the pain streaking across her body. She didn’t care about the red tint across her vision, or the black dots creeping up at the edges of her vision- the only thing keeping her going were the two words tumbling through her head.</p><p>
  <em>You promised. </em>
</p><p>Lana felt a hand on her shoulder and growled, but found herself face to face with Cole. “She promised,” she said angrily. Anger was good- anger was something Lana knew how to deal with. Anger was a feeling she knew how to battle, but this crushing loss that was chipping away at the wall she had clamped down on her heart was something else entirely, and she knew had to do something, anything to stop it from breaking through. </p><p>“Stuck in the land between, no connection to her heart or the pieces of her soul. Choices to make, a life for a life.” Cole looked at Lana, then placed a hand on her sparking arm, ignoring the spurts of green light erupting from her palm. “She needs a guide,” he whispered. “Faith and family, they both play a part.”</p><p><em>Do you need me to have faith, Sam?</em> Lana thought. <em>Do you need a guide?  </em>She thrust her mark at the sky, sending up a green bolt into the nighttime sky.</p><p><em>Use me, s</em>he hissed, the anchor flaring up with light and sending a bolt of searing pain through her arm.<em> I’ll be your guide… no matter what, I’m here, Sam- I believe in you.</em></p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>As I tried not to cry, the pilot crossed the room and stopped in front of me, gently folding the ring in my hand. "This is yours," he said quietly. "Don't ever throw something like this away, kid... it's too important."</p><p>Reluctantly, I took it, surprised at how solid it still felt. “Mom said it would guide me home,” I said finally, sliding the ring back on my finger, almost dropping it when I felt it thrum on my finger. Instantly, my mouth dropped- it hadn’t done that since I’d woken up. </p><p>Curious, I stared up at Alex, who was staring at me with a wistful smile. “Then that means you gotta stop being afraid, cause I’m not gonna be there to keep an eye on you, kid.” </p><p>“What… what do you mean?” I asked, staring at him as he pulled me to my feet and took my hand in his. “What are you talking about, Alex?” </p><p>“It's like I said before,” he replied with a smile, placing a kiss on my forehead. “I don’t play by your little watcher rules.” Then he pointed to my ring. “So you left a little bit of your soul with some folks, huh?” He looked at me with a smirk. “Three charms? You care about them that much?” </p><p>“Wait,” I interrupted, placing my hand to my chest, surprised to feel the warmth coming from the coin and locket dangling from my necklace. “I don’t understand- how do you know about that?”</p><p>“I was the prototype," he said good-naturedly. "Your mom did it to me on accident- it’s how she found out how to make the totems. Hence,” he said, pointing to the now grey ring, “that little guy right there.”  When I looked up at him in shock, he just laughed. “Told you it wasn’t what you thought it was,” he said with a smile. “Seems like you got some people pulling hard for you out there.” </p><p>“Good to know I was loved,” I said sadly, touching my hand to the locket, feeling a lump rise in my throat. “I don’t want to leave them, Alex… I want to go back.”</p><p>“C’ mere,” he said, pulling me into a big hug.  I started to resist, but the moment I felt his arms around me and smelled the scent of grease and tobacco and mint swirling from his coat I threw my arms around him, burying my face in his chest. “S’okay, kid- I get it. No one wants their life to be over.” Alex sighed, rubbing the back of my head. “I’m just glad your sister got the message,” he muttered, guiding me out the room. </p><p>Shuffling along after him, I wiped my eyes. “What, did I learn what I was supposed to? Do I get to 'move on' now?” Thinking about it for a moment, I scowled. “Wait-do I go to the afterlife for this world or mine? Cause I gotta tell you, in my world, both sides are kind of dickish, if we’re being honest. Plus, I still owe Mr. Shirley for that guitar, so I'm not in a rush to see him anytime soon.” </p><p>“Guess we don’t wanna go there then, do we?” Alex said with a chuckle, walking down the metallic corridor. “Anyway, I got something else in mind. Follow me.”</p><p>His long strides were purposeful, not giving me any time to meander through the unfamiliar halls of the ship. Soon, he came to a stop at a doorway, his tall frame resting against the doorjamb with his hands in his pocket as he stared at me. “What?” I asked, curious about what was going on. “Why are we stopping?” </p><p>Alex just smiled. “You don't listen, do you?" I shot him a dirty look, and he chuckled. "I told you before, your mom hired me a long time ago to be a guide, but all this time I never understood why.” He shrugged, then gave a small laugh as he shook his head. "But not having a clue what she’s thinking ain’t a surprise, since she’s always been one that looks ahead. But what does surprise me,” he said wistfully, “is how much I enjoyed watching you across your journey, Sam.” This time, when he smiled, Alex looked so handsome that I wondered just how close he and my mom had been once upon a time. “I was nervous when we sent you out here, but you did better than I could have ever imagined, even if you don’t know how to read a book,” he said teasingly.</p><p>I scoffed. “I learned better by doing,” I replied, looking down at my feet. “But I guess I have all the time in the world to read now.”</p><p>“I suppose,” he replied with a shrug, then turned to stare out the window. "At any rate, I got somethin' to tell ya... think it's high time you heard it. "</p><p>"I'm listening," I said, watching him carefully. "Not like I got anything else to do."</p><p>Alex sighed as he gazed off into the distance, looking as if he were remembering something that happened a long time ago. "Even though she'll never admit it, your mom was wrong about you, kid."</p><p>My eyes widened in shock. "I think you may have your wires crossed- I've never known that woman to be wrong about a single thing in my life."</p><p>He laughed, then folded his hands behind his back. "Well, I've known her for a long time, and after seeing you out here, I'm pretty confident in saying she got this part wrong." When I just looked at him, he continued. "Your mom used to always say that you'd do great things once you stopped being afraid, but you gotta remember that she doesn't always get what it means to be human." </p><p>"Oh, was that it?" I remarked sarcastically. "I thought she was just emotionally detached."</p><p>Alex ignored me and rolled his eyes. "Your mom thought you had to remove your fear to be strong, but that ain't it- you're strong <em>because</em> of it, kid, and that makes me super proud of you. You've done amazing things when you've been scared, unsure, or when you're afraid, kid. So,” he said carefully, "for once, I’m gonna do you a favor, Sam.” He sighed, raking his fingers through his hair. “When I was alive, I was a selfish bastard. Strange as it is to say it, dying was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me.  Getting the chance to live again, to see you and your sister grow up, to meet Lana…I wouldn’t trade a minute of it- it was amazing."  He raked his hands through his hair, then looked at me with a beaming smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. “No matter what happens from here on out, you need to know it was worth it, ok?"</p><p>Something about the way he was talking didn’t sit right with me, and I stared at the pilot with curiosity. “What are you trying to tell me, Alex?”</p><p>“That I did my job,” he said mildly, taking my hand. “Now," he said with a huff, "we’ve been yakking long enough, and stalling ain’t gonna make this any easier. It’s time to go, kid.”</p><p>“But I’m scared,” I whispered, locking my fingers in his and swallowing nervously. “What happens now, Alex? What do I do?” </p><p>“That’s the beauty of it,” he replied, giving me a true smile as he kissed me on the forehead, leaving a warm tingling sensation where his lips had been. “You get to do whatever you want. Now come on,” he said as he gripped my hand. "It's time to go through the door."</p><p class="p1">
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</p>
<hr/><p>Lana could hear the voices, but what they were saying was irrelevant to her- the only thing that mattered was getting her sister back. “Come on, you damnable girl!” She thrust her mark at the sky again, letting out a scream. “You have to come back! You <em>have</em> to!"</p><p>“Lana,” Ali said softly from behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Please don’t do this to yourself,” he said in a low voice. “I want her back as well, but this…” he shook his head sadly. “This isn’t going to help.”</p><p>“It will!” Lana yelled, feeling that barrier between grief and anger slipping further and further with every passing moment. “She isn’t gone, Ali- I know it! I just have to-“</p><p>“Lana,” a voice said from behind them. “I want her back more than anything in the world, but I can’t lose both of you.” Cullen’s eyes were red with tears, and he was wavering with exhaustion, but he walked over to her side anyway. “I-“ he stopped, choking on the words as he reached out for her, "I want to leave this wretched place and never return.” </p><p>She was going to protest, but when Cullen's hand connected with hers, Lana let out a startled gasp. “Cullen,” she murmured, looking at him in awe, “do you feel that?”</p><p>“I do,” he whispered, looking down at his hand. “My ring… it’s warm again.” Cullen looked at Ali, then back at Lana. “You feel it too, don’t you?” </p><p>“It’s the mark,” she said, hope creeping into her voice. “I think… it’s amplifying the charms she’s given us.” Lana’s mind began to race as she turned frantically to her brother, feeling the beginnings of a plan lock into place. “Do <em>not</em> let go of me, Cullen” she hissed. “For the love of the Maker and everything we hold dear, hold on to my hand as if her life depends on it!” </p><p>Cullen nodded, taking her wrist in a vice-like grip and watching as the anchor burst into a shower of green sparks. “Whatever you need,” he said tightly, his voice rough and dry. “Tell me the truth, Lana,” he said softly, "do you think you can bring her back?”</p><p>Unable to answer him, Lana turned to Ali. “Don’t let go of me,” she whispered. “I don’t know if this is going to work, but please, don’t let go.”</p><p>In response, her husband squeezed tighter, and Lana let out a scream as the mark flared up once again, sending up a flash of green lightning into the sky. As the three of them watched the sky, Lana felt a sense of dread as nothing changed- the sky was still and all was quiet, making that fear bubble up in her throat. <em>Come on,</em> she thought anxiously. <em>Please work... please come back.  </em>Just when she was about to try again, the mark seized with an intensity she'd never felt before. As Lana screamed, there was a clap of thunder, followed by an explosive burst of wind and white light that sending the three of them hurtling backward as the dust enveloped the area.</p><p> For a brief moment, there was silence, followed by a gnawing sense of panic as Lana tried to get her bearings. Every part of her ached- her arm felt like it was barely attached at this point, and the pinpricks of darkness had grown to huge patches of black across her vision. But the locket thrummed against her chest softly and it gave her hope as she stumbled across the courtyard, only to let out a scream as she saw a smoking heap on the ground.</p><p><em>It had to have worked,</em> she thought as she drew closer. <em>It has to be Sam... Maker, please let it be her. </em></p><p>Sure enough, Lana raced over and a sob broke from her throat. As the tears streamed from her eyes, she threw her arms around the badly burned and smoldering body of her sister, who was lying motionless on the ground, her broken fingers clutching the still form of Baron Plucky next to her.</p><p>The next few hours were like a dream for Lana- her thoughts were like smoke, drifting in and out of her mind as quickly as they arrived. She was aware that someone had sent wave after wave of healing magic over her allowing her broken bones to start to knit themselves together, but for the life of her, she had no idea who it was. Lana knew she was given numerous amounts of health poultices, but she couldn't begin to say how she got back to her tent or into different clothes. She knew she could hear Ali addressing the wardens, and she could hear Cass rallying the troops, but what they said was a mystery.</p><p>However, she knew with absolute certainty that she never let go of her sister’s hand as she cried copious amounts of tears over her sister’s crippled form, nearly collapsing with shock and relief when Solas confirmed the girl was alive, though barely. She also knew that she leaped at Cullen's throat when he tried to move her from Sam's bedside, only relenting when Ali dragged her away, citing that she needed sleep. In addition, she clearly remembered the agony she felt as she watched over her sister as they made the journey back to Skyhold, two words constantly on her lips as she clutched Sam's small cold hand in hers.</p><p>
  <em>You promised.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Alex and Nia's backstory is in the Waiting at the edge of forever series, in case you're like Sam and curious just <em>how</em> close those two really were...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. Noble Intentions and Consequences</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Team Mage tries to help Sam, but there are some... complications</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>Lana was exhausted as she sat next to Sam, her finger tracing over the locket on her neck. Though they had made it back to Skyhold and the healers had assured her that Sam was stable, her sister still hadn’t woken up yet. The burns across her body had been quite extensive, causing scars to crisscross her skin and the frayed and singed edges of her long dark hair to be clipped away. While she’d broken quite a few bones and would probably have a limp for quite some time, Sam was alive and to Lana, that was all that counted. Every day, Lana would race to the healer’s tent to see if there was a change, but the result was the same- whenever she saw Cullen by her bedside, the dejected look in his eyes told her exactly what she needed to know. </p><p>“Any change?” Lana asked hopefully, settling on a stool next to the bedside and taking Sam’s hand in hers. Lately, she’d been taking her phone with her, placing it in between the pages of a book in case someone came in unannounced. When Cullen shook his head, Lana sighed and searched for the book she’d been reading to Sam for the last few days. “Are you staying with us today.” </p><p>“Unfortunately, no,” he said softly. “I’m so far behind on everything, but…” he looked up at the ceiling, then put his head in his hands. “Maker, I could care less right now.” He leaned over and kissed Sam’s raw cheek. “I just want my wife back.”</p><p>“I want her back too,” Lana said softly, placing a hand on Sam’s arm. “I haven’t told Grace yet,” she whispered. “I’m terrified- I was supposed to keep her safe, Cullen! How do I tell her that I let this happen to our sister? She’s never going to forgive me, she’s-“</p><p>“She’s going to know that you would never willingly let anything happen to her,” Cullen said gently. “Grace and John are soldiers- they know the risks of battle. No matter what, your sister will just be happy to know you got her back.” He smiled at Lana, taking her hand in his and patting it reassuringly. “You never gave up… even when Ali and I did,” he said wistfully. “I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to look her in the eye after that and not feel like I’ve failed her.”</p><p>“I only knew because of the pilot,” Lana admitted. “He… found me in the fade, and warned me that no matter what, I had to have faith in her.” She looked down at Sam’s sleeping form and winced as the anchor sparked, sending magic flowing into Sam’s ring. “I know you are busy,” she said tentatively, “but I’d like to ask you for a favor, if I may.” </p><p>“Anything,” Cullen replied, sitting in front of her on the bed and resting his hand on Sam’s. “What do you need?” </p><p>Lana looked down at the phone nestled in the book and bit her lip. “I’d like you to sit with me while I call Grace,” she said quietly. “I… do not want to be alone for this call.”</p><p>Cullen smiled at her, then gently squeezed her hand. “Of course,” he replied, gazing over at Sam's sleeping form. “I’ll be here as long as you need me.” </p><p>“You have no idea how much I appreciate that,” Lana said, her hands shaking as she picked up the phone and dialed the number for Grace. She listened to the strange ringing noise as she waited for the connection, feeling her heart race with every passing moment. "I'm terrified, Cullen."</p><p>“Relax,” Cullen murmured, placing a hand on her shaking thigh. “It’s your sister, Lana.”</p><p>“I know,” she said nervously. “It’s just hard, that’s all.” </p><p>After a few more agonizing rings, Shaun’s cheerful face popped up on the screen. “Hey, Auntie Lana! We were wondering if my stuff was workin’- we hadn’t heard from you!” He craned his neck as he stared at the screen and beamed as he saw Cullen in the background, shifting carefully so the little boy wouldn’t see his aunt in the nearby bed. “Uncle Cullen! I miss you guys! Can we come back soon? I really want to hang out with everyone again!” </p><p>“Maybe another time,” the Commander said, trying to keep a bright smile for the excited boy. “Is your mother around, Shaun? Your aunt needs to speak with her.” </p><p>“Sure- I’ll go get her.” Shaun paused, looking thoughtful. “Hey, where’s Uncle Ali and Auntie Sam? Can I talk to them?”</p><p>“Ali’s with the troops,” Cullen replied, looking over at Lana. “And your aunt is resting right now- we’ll have them call you when they’re available, ok?” </p><p>Shaun nodded. “‘Kay.” Then he held the phone away from his mouth and screamed, making Lana chuckle at the little boy's antics. “MO-OO-OO-M! Auntie Lana and Uncle Cullen are on the phone!”</p><p>Soon, Grace’s face started to appear behind the little boy, her voice muffled as she approached her son. “Didn’t we talk about you going in the safe and playing with that?” </p><p>“But it was <em>ringing!</em>” Shaun protested, handing the phone to his mother. “And ’sides, you <em>told</em> me to practice opening stuff!” </p><p>Despite her fear and nerves, Lana looked at Cullen and grinned before swallowing nervously as the curly-haired woman popped into view. “Hello, Grace,” she said with a tentative smile. “Do you have a moment to chat?” </p><p>“For you? ‘Course I do,” Grace said, flipping a hair out of her eye. “So, what’s going on? How have you guys been? It has to be a minute for you guys- we’ve been here for a few days, so…” Then her sister noticed Cullen next to Lana and she frowned, standing up and moving to a new location in the greyish-colored house. “Cullen,” she said warily, “why are you there with Lana instead of Ali? Where’s Squeak?”</p><p>Lana winced, forgetting just how sharp her sister could be. “That’s actually what we wanted to talk to you about.” She closed her eyes, then twisted her fingers together. “Sam… has been injured. Quite badly.”</p><p>Grace’s eyes narrowed. “How bad?” When Lana couldn’t answer right away, her sister shifted her attention to Cullen, her green eyes piercing and hard even through the screen. “How bad, Cullen? Don’t lie to me, either.”</p><p>“She hasn’t woken up,” he said softly. “She’s been badly burned, got quite a few broken bones, and Maker knows what else is wrong. She-“ Cullen paused, running a finger over Sam’s scarred cheek. No one had said what really happened- that they’d all felt the moment she died, but it hung in the air like a shroud, no one willing to say the words aloud. “She almost didn’t make it,” he said finally. “She gave herself to save everyone else.”</p><p>Her sister paused for a moment, and Lana could feel the chill in the air. Finally, Grace swept a hand across her hair, then flopped in a seat, covering her mouth with her hand. “Are you guys ok?”</p><p>Lana just blinked, tears prickling her eyes. “I… I am better,” she admitted, flexing her still-stiff fingers. “The healers were able to assist me, but Sam’s injuries were extensive,” she said quietly. “She hasn’t woken up at all yet.” </p><p>“Does mom know?” Grace asked, looking between the two of them. “I’m guessing not since I haven’t heard from her or Dean yet.”</p><p>Lana shook her head. “I don’t know how to reach her,” she admitted. Then she looked down at her hands, feeling terrible. “I’m so sorry, Grace- this is all my fault. I should have never let her come with me.”</p><p>Grace just gave her a condescending look. “Did you push her? Did you hold a gun to Sam's head and say ‘bring your ass with me or I’ll murder you and everything you love’?” </p><p>Lana gasped and covered her mouth, a horrified look on her face. “Maker, no! Why would I do such a thing?”</p><p>“Then you didn’t cause shit- It’s the cost of war,” she said plaintively. “And I wish I didn’t know that, but I do.” Then her face hardened. “But, I <em>am</em> pissed that I’m just finding out about this now,” she said, staring at her coldly. “That’s my sister too, Lana- just because I’m not there doesn’t mean I don’t get to know what the fuck is going on. You got that big ass bird- couldn’t you have sent a letter to us or something?” </p><p>Cullen cleared his throat, then lowered his eyes. “I’m afraid Baron Plucky is no longer with us- he was with Samantha when she returned, but he didn’t survive the encounter,” he said sadly. “We’ve had no way to send a message to you until we returned to Skyhold.”</p><p>“Shit,” Grace said, looking up at the ceiling. “No bird means I can’t send you anything.” She paused, biting her lip as the phone shook up and down- if Lana had to guess, she was tapping her foot. Then Grace looked at Cullen, then turned back to Lana, her eyes wide and pleading. “Look, I don’t have the magic that you guys do,” she replied. “But I do know my family. And I know that there’s no way Sam's leaving us behind- my… I mean, our sister wouldn’t do that,” Grace said with conviction. “Squeak could always find people in her dreams, so maybe you could find her in yours?” </p><p>“I cannot- that isn’t a power I possess,” Lana replied, watching as Grace’s face started to fall. “But,” she said quickly as she looked over at her sister’s still form, stroking her hair away from her face, "maybe Solas can help with that.”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>Cullen looked at Lana and Ali nervously as they sat in the healer's tent, forming a haphazard circle around Sam. “Are you all ready?” Solas asked, staring at them intently. “I must admit, this is a rather strange request," the elf said cautiously. "Why do all three of you need to do this?”</p><p>Before anyone else could speak, Cullen spoke first. “Because she left us all with charms,” he said, then corrected himself. “Well, she gave them charms- I was gifted mine by her mother, which I assume means it has some significance as well. When she-“ he stopped, still unable to say those words. “We felt all the charms wink out at the same time,” he said, looking over at Lana and Ali. “And when we touched, they activated again. So I think,” he said slowly, looking over at his family, “that whatever we do, it has to be the three of us.” </p><p>“That’s Team Mage for you,” Ali quipped. “Can’t do anything by ourselves- we always have to bring a party with us.” He looked over at Sam, then back to Solas. “I’m ready to do whatever we have to,” he said firmly. “If her body is here and she isn't waking up, then that must mean her mind is still in the fade. Sparrow saved our lives- we owe it to her to at least try to bring her back."</p><p>"I find no fault with your logic," Solas replied with a nod. “But before you go, you must remember her dreams are different from ours- they are often strange and confusing, but full of comfort for her. She may not wish to leave,” he warned. “You must be prepared for that.”</p><p>“I’m ready,” Cullen said, looking at Lana, eager to get this done with. “No matter what, we are bringing my wife home.”</p><p>“You will have an evening and nothing more,” Solas replied. “I must stay here and guard your sleep against demons, so you will be on your own in her mind.” He turned to Lana, placing a hand on her shoulder. “You are the key, Solana- there is always a connection to her in your dreams. When you find it, you find her.”</p><p>“She is <em>so</em> getting a scolding when we come back,” Lana groused. “I just left the fade- now I have to go back into an even stranger version of it to find her.” She sighed as Ali chuckled, then looked at the elf and nodded her head. “But it is of no consequence- I will do what I must to save my sister.”</p><p>Solas handed them each a mug of something that was not unlike tea, gesturing for them to drink. Cullen tipped the contents down his throat, gagging a bit at the weed-like flavor, then returned the cup to the elf, wiping his mouth and trying not to let the contents come back up. “Good luck,” the elf said, running his magic over each of them. “Let us hope the spirits see fit to grant you that which you seek.” </p><p>—</p><p>When Cullen opened his eyes, Lana and Ali were standing over him. “Good,” Lana said quickly, looking him over with a slight frown. “You’re awake.”</p><p>Rubbing his eyes, he stared at her. “Lana?” Then he squinted at her clothes and frowned- she was wearing a pair of tight-fitting black pants and a long grey shirt, which were similar to what Sam would often wear in their quarters. "What in the world are you wearing? Where are we?” </p><p>Lana looked down, then over at Ali, who was wearing a white shirt and a pair of what Sam called jeans. “It appears we’re wearing the clothes from our counterparts in the other world,” she replied. “In case you hadn’t noticed, your outfit is also rather nice, by the way.” He looked down, and realized she was right- he was also wearing jeans and a black shirt, with weird symbols on it that he couldn't read. "Solas was right- her dreams are rather complex."</p><p>She offered him a hand, and his eyes widened. “Lana, your mark,” he breathed. “It’s gone!” Then he looked down at the thin material of his shirt and scowled. “Why do people in this world wear clothes like these? They offer no protection!”</p><p>“Because Sparrow’s people don’t train for battle every day,” Ali replied, laughing. “But seeing as I have no idea where we are, what do we do now? Where do we go? Do we just start yelling for her and hope she comes running?”</p><p>“Well, if this is a version of the fade,” Lana said thoughtfully. “Then that means I can always find Sam, so…” She patted her pocket, and her eyes widened. “My phone! I can call her!” She tapped the glass a few times, and soon he heard that ringing noise again. After a few moments, Cullen felt his heart soar as he heard her voice in the air for the first time in weeks. “Sam,” Lana called out, “where are you? I need to come and see you, right away.” </p><p>“Sheesh, what’s the fire, Lana?” Sam replied, making Cullen frown as he turned to Ali- whenever Sam teased her sister, she almost always called her by her nickname. “Thought you were out with Ali?” </p><p>“I am,” Lana replied, a frown on the face- apparently she had noticed the same thing he had. “But I have to talk to you…and I need to do it in person. Can you tell me where you are and how to get to you?”  </p><p>Sam let out a sigh. “Fine… Starbucks on Marin Blvd, right by that little chocolate house we got Grace’s gift from. I'm just hanging outside and drawing- I’ll wait here for you.” </p><p>Lana paused, a worried look on her face. “Can you send me directions?” Lana bit her lip, then tapped her foot, making Cullen worry a bit about what was going on. “I’m afraid I’m not sure I know how to get there, Sam.”</p><p>“You’re about as hopeless as Grace, you know that?” There was silence for a moment, and then a beep sounded from the device in Lana’s hand. “Okay, weirdo, I sent you the location. Now hurry up and get here or I’m gonna be tempted to order another coffee, and lord knows I don’t need the caffeine. Peace out.” </p><p>There was a click, and Lana looked at the silent phone before pressing a few keys. When she finished, Lana tucked a hair behind her hair and looked at the two men. “We have a problem,” she declared, looking at Cullen nervously. </p><p>Cullen frowned. “She gave you her location, correct? Since you know where she is, let us go find her and bring her home.”</p><p>“We’re not that far from where she is- we can go by foot,” Lana replied, starting to walk down the street. “But you must do exactly as I do, and do not say a word to anyone until I tell you it is okay- is that clear?”</p><p>       “Yes, but isn’t this a dream?” Cullen asked, his eyes going wide as saucers as they took in the flurry of activity going on around him. “Why is there so much going on? Shouldn’t this only be detailed in the portion of the Fade where Sam is?”</p><p>“I'm afraid that’s the problem I wished to talk to you about,” Lana said anxiously. “This is a version of her world… where <em>I</em> was. It’s the space between life and death,” she said carefully, “so I fear that her being here is not a good thing.”</p><p>“All the more reason to find Sparrow, and quickly,” Ali replied, taking her hand. “Enough talk- it’s time to go get our sister.” </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>Lana had a sinking feeling in her chest as she approached the cafe and saw Sam sitting out front, sketchbook in front of her as she worked. Her headphones were in and she was bent over, staring at her work intently. The girl hadn’t noticed their approach, but Lana was scared- from the moment they'd arrived, Lana knew something was different right away. This was no dream, she was sure of it- it was the between, the space between life and death that her mom had placed her in long ago. Watching the girl in front of them, she began to get nervous- she didn’t know what Sam’s mental state was, which was going to make this difficult. Would Sam think them to be their in-world counterparts, or would she recognize them as their true selves, just as she had known Ali? Lana hated dealing in uncertainty, and right now this situation was about as uncertain as it got.</p><p>She groaned, but when her eyes darted over to Cullen, Lana realized why she needed him.<em> Ali was a nice to have, but it’s Cullen and me</em>, she thought. <em>The charms reactivated once Cullen touched my arm- the first love and the last, each looking for their connection.</em> </p><p>Swallowing, Lana signaled for the men to wait and forced a bright smile on her face as she walked over to her sister, tapping her lightly on the shoulder. Startled, Sam jumped at the sudden contact, pressing down on her sketch and breaking the lead in her pencil. “You sneaky bitch!” Sam yelled, yanking out her headphones and causing a few patrons to turn and stare at them. “A little warning would be nice!”</p><p>“I don’t know how else to warn you when you have your music on,” Lana admitted, holding her hands in front of her in way of apology. “Sorry to disturb you, but I was hoping to talk to you.”</p><p>Sam gave her a bright smile that made her heart twist- despite the circumstances, Lana could tell that this was the proper version of her sister. She could feel the magic brimming just under the surface, the locket fully warm once again against her chest. “‘Sup? What was so important that you had to stop your date to come to talk to me?” </p><p>“Well, I kind of need you to come home,” she said carefully, gesturing for the two men to come over. “So I thought-“</p><p>Suddenly, Sam’s face went hard and Lana almost jerked back- she’d rarely seen her sister look that angry unless Vivienne was present. “What the fuck is he doing here?” Sam spat as her eyes narrowed at a point behind Lana's head. "You got two seconds to start talking, sis."</p><p>Confused, Lana whirled around. “What do you mean?” She looked at Ali, who was staring at Sam with a strange look. Cullen, however, was oblivious to her ire as he almost broke out in a run to get to the irate woman. Not understanding the cause for concern, Lana turned back to her sister. “What in the world are you going on about, Sam?” </p><p>“You know <em>exactly</em> what I’m talking about,” Sam hissed, frantically shoving items into her backpack. “You just couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you? You always have to meddle, don't you!” </p><p>“Sam,” Lana said slowly, trying to get a clue as to what her sister was ranting about. “I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about, so if you could please enlighten me, I would much prefer that to you causing a scene out here.” </p><p><em>“Him!”</em> She said angrily, pointing a finger at Cullen. “Why the fuck would you bring him here?” </p><p>Shocked, Lana turned to her shocked brother-in-law, watching as his face rapidly began to fall. “Sam,” she said quietly, “I can assure you that despite whatever you think he has done, you need to talk to him.”</p><p>Sam looked at her as if she’d grown a second head. “I beg your fucking pardon?” Her stuff haphazardly shoved in her bag, Sam stood up in a huff, grabbing a cane from the side of the table. “You <em>know</em> what he did! Hell, you saw it! I get you’re fucking his friend, but I’m your goddamn <em>sister</em>, Lana!” Pushing her chair back from the table, she thrust an angry finger at Cullen, her face murderous. “You need to stay the fuck away from me because I guarantee I’m about <em>ten seconds from losing my entire shit!” </em></p><p>Her sister limped off in a huff, and Lana just stood there, dumbfounded- she had no idea what was going on. Thankfully, Ali was not as stunned and he immediately took off after Sam, pushing chairs out of the way to catch up to the angry girl. When Cullen tried to go after them, a man at the table next to them got up, placing a hand on Cullen’s arm. “Look here man, I think the lady is a bit upset,” the man said casually. “Maybe you should let her cool off before you-.”</p><p>Cullen’s face twisted up in a snarl before Lana could get to him. “That is my wife!” he yelled, grabbing the man’s hand. “I have to-“ </p><p>“Have to find a ride,” Lana said, stepping between the two of them. “Cullen,” she said pointedly, “remember what I said earlier?” Desperate not to cause even more of a scene, she turned to the man and gave him a bright smile. “We’re just going to be on our way,” she said, guiding the angry and confused commander out of the patio and away from all the wide eyes that were staring at them. When Cullen started to protest, she shot him a murderous look. “You can’t <em>do</em> things like that here,” she hissed, pulling him away from the crowd. “We have to figure out what in the Maker this version of you did so we can fix it!”</p><p>“I didn’t do <em>anything!”</em> Cullen protested. “Why is Sam treating me like I’m an abomination? What does she think I did?” Then his face went pale, and he turned to Lana. “Are we still married? Does she not know how much she means to me?”</p><p>Lana frowned. “If it’s any consolation, I don’t think I’m married here, either- time moves differently here. I don’t have my journal, but-“ Her eyes got bright, and she pulled out her phone. “That’s it!” </p><p>“What’s it?” Cullen asked, craning his neck to see if he could catch sight of Ali and Sam, but they were nowhere to be found. "Why are we standing here? Shouldn’t we be chasing after Sam and Ali?” </p><p>“I have one better,” Lana said, pulling out her phone and waving it in his face. “I’m going to call our mom.”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“Sparrow, wait up!” Ali called out, then cursed himself for using her nickname. He had no idea if Sam remembered it or how close the two of them were in this state of hers, but he decided that ultimately, he didn’t care- no matter what, she was his sister, and he wasn’t going to let her go off like this. “You have to talk to me!”</p><p>“I don’t have to do <em>shit</em>, Ali!” Sam yelled, whirling around to face him. “I know he’s your friend, but seriously? <em>Fuck that guy!”</em> </p><p>Ali paused, putting his hands in the air. “Sam, I know you’re angry, but can you take a moment and explain to me exactly why you hate the co-“ He paused, catching himself, "I mean, Cullen?” When she scowled at him, Ali gave her an apologetic look. “I’m not discounting your concerns, Sam- I just want to make sure I know what they are.”</p><p>Sam just stared at him, a hand on her hip. “Why are you being so nice to me, Ali? I get you're with my sister, but you don't have to pretend to give a fuck for my sake- I'm a big girl.” </p><p>“I care because you’re my little sister,” he said without thinking. She looked at him strangely for a minute, but Ali didn’t care- no matter what she thought was going on in this world, Sam needed to know how much they cared about her. “I’m always going to care about you, Sam.”</p><p>She didn’t say anything for a moment, just looking him over. He could have sworn he saw recognition flash over her face, but it was gone too quick to remark on it. “Whatever. Have a seat,” she said wearily as she pointed to a nearby bench. “But why is it so important to you, Ali? We were together, now we’re not- it’s really not that hard.”</p><p>“Because he really lo-“ he caught himself again, not wanting to say anything that would set Sam off even further. “He really cares about you, Sam.”</p><p>“No,” she spat. “He cares about his job.”</p><p><em>Can’t argue there,</em> Ali thought, then tried to smile at her. "Can’t it be both? Besides, I’m pretty sure you rank higher, Sparrow.”</p><p>“No, I think I’m pretty good with my assessment.”  She sighed, sitting down and putting her head in her hands. “Do you know how many times they called him from the hospital and he never came, Ali? I was there all that time and not <em>once</em> did he come to see how I was doing! The only one who came was Lana, so if I was so goddamn important, why wasn’t he there for me the one time I needed him!” </p><p>Trying to figure out what was going on without telling Sam he had absolutely no idea what she was talking about, he sat down and put an arm around her. “I get you’re upset, and you have every right to feel that way. But, the man is here now and he wants to talk to you- would you be willing to do that for me, at least?” She turned her face up to him in shock, and Ali quickly continued. “I’m not asking you to forgive him,” he said hurriedly. “Just listen- that’s all I’m asking.” </p><p>Sam looked as if she was debating how best to tell him to get lost, but when he placed a hand on her arm, she shuddered and closed her eyes. “Fine," she huffed. "Whatever, I'll talk to him, but don’t go too far- if this goes sideways, I’m holding you responsible for it.” </p><p>“Um, I’m afraid I don’t have my device with me,” he said nervously. He prayed he was using the appropriate words and that she wouldn’t question him too closely- if she asked him to use that bloody thing, this whole endeavor might be over before it ever started. “Would you mind reaching out to your sister in my stead?”</p><p>"You're being weirder than usual, Ali," Sam remarked as she peered at him carefully. Ali was terrified she was going to ask him a question he couldn't answer but she just nodded, tapping the screen on the device a few times before handing it to him. “Just take it... before I change my mind."</p><p class="p1">
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</p><hr/><p>For the first time in centuries, Nia was shocked. </p><p>She’d had no idea what had happened at the battle- honestly, the threads had told her that Hawke was supposed to sacrifice himself for the greater good. To find out that not only had that not happened but that <em>both</em> of her daughters were injured as well… she silently cursed, fuming at the way the threads were unraveling in front of her eyes. <em>There was a reason events were to happen that way,</em> she hissed to herself. <em>Who could have been stupid enough to mess with things like this?</em></p><p>But when Lana told her that Baron Plucky had died, Nia had to bite back a curse and stop herself from flinging her phone across the room. So, instead of losing her cool, she silently counted to ten and thanked Lana for the information before telling her she’d find a way to help them fix this. <em>Of fucking course it's him,</em> she thought as she angrily grabbed her coat. <em>After all this time, that idiot is still playing at things he doesn’t understand! </em></p><p>In all the time she’d been back in the world, there had only been three people that she could never read. Since one of them had passed away lifetimes ago and the other had long since vanished, that only left one perpetually annoying entity that fit the bill. <em>It would be him,</em> she groaned, exhaling in the brisk fall air. <em>He never could see the bigger picture.</em></p><p>Nia and Alex Hawthorne had a complicated history- times like this only served to make her realize just how complicated that history was. True, he was her oldest friend, but they were often at odds about things. Ever since the day they’d met, the two of them were constantly bickering about one thing or another. She supposed he wasn’t completely at fault all the time, seeing as it was she who'd inadvertently given him the power to serve as a guide, but more often than not, his impulsiveness resulted in messes that she had to clean up... like now.</p><p>However, his heart was usually in the right place, so she usually cut him some slack and didn't harp on his shortcomings. Time and time again, Alex had come through for her in one way or another, so she often tried to be patient and gently guide the pilot through lesson after lesson- compared to her, he was still a baby. While Nia knew without a doubt Alex loved his goddaughter, but she’d had her reservations when he’d asked to serve as her guardian. Now, the pilot had gone and not only destroyed his vessel, but he’d also gotten Sam trapped in the Between- <em>way to go, Alex,</em> she muttered to herself. <em>You are <span class="u">so</span> lucky I can't kill you right now.</em></p><p>Walking out the door and into the coffee shop, she glared at the man behind the counter, then paused time. When the barista noticed the customer in front of him go still, he turned to the door and gave Nia a bright smile. “Hey kid,” he said with a dazzling grin, taking off his green apron and hat before coming out from behind the counter. “Didn’t expect to see you down here with us wayward souls.” </p><p>“Yes, well that would be because I didn’t expect my daughter to be one of them!” Nia snapped, pointing angrily outside at the frozen forms of Lana and Cullen. “Jesus Christ, Alex, do you ever <em>think</em> before you do anything!” </p><p>He folded his arms and gave her a cold look. “On the contrary, I think <em>you</em> didn’t notice that your daughter went and got herself killed! I don’t know what it is about you guys, but there seems to be a nasty trend of ‘blame the ghost’ these last few centuries when he’s actually the only one saving your asses!” </p><p>Nia stared up at the ceiling, trying to count to ten and calm herself down- more and more, she was finding she preferred the man as a bird. “Alex,” she said carefully, trying to keep the venom out of her voice, “Sam was never supposed to make that choice,” she said calmly. “<em>Hawke</em> was supposed to. Care to tell me how the paths shifted so drastically?” When Alex didn’t answer, Nia walked closer to the barista, fixing him with an icy glare. “The only way the paths usually shift like that is when beings like us start interfering, but <em>I</em> certainly wasn’t there.. and I didn’t authorize anyone else to meddle, either.” </p><p>Alex winced and turned away, pretending to adjust some things on his counter. “Well, I <em>might</em> have offered the kid a little advice…” </p><p>Nia groaned. "Did you let her see you?” When he didn’t answer and started casually wiping the pastry case, she let out a scream and slapped Alex on the arm. “You<em> idiot!</em> You <em>knew</em> she wasn’t supposed to know about you!” </p><p><em>“Hey!”</em> Alex replied, rubbing his arm. “She was going nuts, kid! If you’d stop being such a cold-hearted bitch and be a mom for once, you’d have noticed!” He pointed out the door, his face furious. “My goddamn goddaughter was losing her fucking mind out there- where the hell were you, Nia? Oh wait, don’t tell me- it’s one of your mystical ‘can’t affect the cosmic order’ bullshit things, right?” Alex leaned in her face, close enough for Nia to feel the rage vibrating off of him. “You treat those girls like pawns and I’m <em>sick</em> of it, Nia! They’re your <em>kids</em>, for fuck’s sake!”</p><p>Not willing to give an inch, Nia just looked at him coldly. “I <em>know</em> what I’m doing, Alex.” She leaned closer, her features hard as stone as her bright green eyes locked with his grey ones. “The only reason I haven’t removed you from the equation already is friendship- don’t make me reconsider that stance by telling me what to do with my children.” </p><p>“Liar,” he hissed. “You haven’t done it because you and I both know that outside of your family, I’m the only real friend you’ve got- care to take a guess as to why that is?” He sneered at her, but neither of them moved an inch. “Everyone else might be scared of you, but I know better, kid- try that bullshit with someone else.”</p><p>Nia didn’t say a word- she just stared at him and fumed while she debated on what she wanted to do. She wished that she could easily go back and remove him from the timeline, but doing so would unravel her own history- like it or not, Alex was way too interconnected, even for someone like her. In the end, she realized that her pride was the only thing stinging from this exchange, so she decided to concede… for the moment. “You’re right,” she said softly, making him jerk back in surprise. “You are my oldest friend and I know you care about Sam… that’s what makes me so angry about this.” </p><p>Alex leaned against the display case, his gray eyes flitting over her face and taking her in as she stood in front of him. “You’re never this calm,” he replied warily. “What are you about to break in here?” </p><p>She shook her head. “Nothing. However, this doesn't change the fact that we have a problem,” Nia admitted. “When you brought Sam to the between, did you do it before or after she died?” </p><p>“Before, <em>duh</em>,” Alex said. “I’ve been doing this for years- I know how this works, Nia.”</p><p>“But you sent her body back.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement, and she hoped he’d get the point. “How often do you do that, Alex?” He paused for a moment and she continued, watching him squirm a bit under her gaze. “Judging on the call I just received from Lana, who by the way is outside and where she is decidedly <em>not</em> supposed to be, I’m also assuming you didn’t remember to connect her soul with Cullen's again. By the way, that tidbit is kind of important, since he's the only one that can pull her out of here.” She looked at Alex closely, noticing his knuckles turning white as they clenched the edges of the display case. “But seeing as Sam doesn’t remember their relationship, I’m going to go out on a limb and say you didn’t make the connection. Which,” Nia said pointedly, “is a problem.” </p><p>She walked a little closer to her friend, trying to keep her rage under control and her voice even. “So, we have my daughter here, in the between, with no recollection of herself and a body that won’t wake up, along with three of her well-meaning but extremely foolhardy family members who are where they are decidedly <em>not</em> supposed to be.” The watcher got in the pilot's face, then crossed her arms. “And since <em>you</em> didn’t bring them here to connect their souls, I assume my two other daughters put this together, seeing as how the messenger vessel has been destroyed.” Nia watched carefully as understanding started to settle in, then continued unabated. “<em>And</em> since there’s no messenger vessel, <em>I</em> certainly didn’t know what was going on. So,” she said, not taking her eyes off him as she tapped a finger on her cheek, “if <em>I</em> didn’t send them here and <em>you</em> didn’t take them, then who sent them here, hmm? Who else has the power to manipulate dreams, Alex? Who did you just give eyes into the Between and serve up a bit more insight on the totems to, hmm?” </p><p>The color immediately drained from Alex’s face and he staggered back, pressing his lanky form into the glass and lowering his head. “Shit.” </p><p>Nia nodded. “That would be an understatement, friend. You’ve just given the <em>one</em> person who we've been trying to stop a win <em>and</em> you removed our eyes and ears from Thedas.” She didn’t take her eyes off her friend as she gave a slow clap, watching Alex wince every time her hands met. “Way. To. Go.” </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. What you mean to me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The family works together to solve the problems Alex has caused</p>
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<hr/><p>“What do we do?” Cullen asked, feeling as if his entire world had been turned upside down. “What did Nia say?” </p><p>Lana just stared at her phone and sighed. “She asked us to head into the coffee shop,” she said nervously, twirling her hair around her finger. “Apparently, there are things she wants to discuss with us.” Then she squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. “On the bright side, I can get coffee and pastries,” she mumbled, pushing open the door to the store. “Not how I foresaw this occurring, but it appears we have little choice in the matter.” </p><p>“Are you really thinking of food at a time like this?” Cullen asked as he followed her toward the shop, being careful to avoid the angry-looking patrons in front. "Makers breath, Lana, can you focus for a few minutes on what's going on here?"<br/>
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"I am, she replied as she opened the door. "I see a situation I can do nothing about on my own, so I am taking advantage of any and every resource at my disposal. Unless you have a better idea, I suggest you do the same." </p><p>"That's not what I meant and you know it!" Cullen snapped, then paused as they emerged inside of a well-decorated living room, the coffee shop disappearing behind them. “What… what happened? Where are we?”</p><p>“I don't know how, but this looks like my house in this world,” Lana said softly, tracing her hand along the walls and stopping in front of a picture. “Or a version of it, anyway- these are different. Take a look at these, Cullen.” </p><p>He walked to her side, and his head began to swim when he realized that it was one of Sam’s sketches- their wedding day, to be exact. “But I thought she didn’t remember me," he stammered, touching his finger to the frame on the wall and feeling the glass beneath his fingertips. "How can this be?”</p><p>“Because you’re in my house,” Nia replied, startling him as she emerged from the hallway. “I had to get you somewhere private to talk.” Lana started to protest, but her mother just held up a hand. “Oh, don’t worry about the time, I’ve taken care of that.” Then she glared at a very uncomfortable-looking young man leaning against the wall. “I had to do it because <em>someone</em> took it upon himself to change a thread… and ended up breaking it.” She gestured for them to follow her further into the house, smacking the man upside the head when he walked past him. “<em>Idiot</em>,” she hissed.</p><p>Rubbing his temple, the young man scowled at her back as he entered the room behind her. “What? It’s not like you can’t fix it! Why are you so upset, kid?” </p><p>“I think I’ve finally found someone I like less than you, Rutherford,” Dean said from his position on the couch, shooting daggers at the dark-haired man that was flopping into a chair across from him. “I <em>told</em> you to keep him away from the girls, but you insisted it was fine,” he snapped, glaring angrily at his wife and pointing at the man in the chair. “He’s been overstepping his bounds since day fucking one, and <em>now</em> look what he’s gone and done!”</p><p>Cullen immediately perked up, his eyes honing in on the man currently rolling his eyes at Dean. “Are you saying that <em>he’s</em> responsible for Samantha's current state?”  Without waiting for a response, he stormed over to the man, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and hoisting him in the air. “What did you do to my wife!” </p><p>“Enough, Cullen,” Nia said gently, directing him to have a seat near his father-in-law. To his surprise, Dean put a hand on Cullen's shoulder and directed his ire at the man currently smoothing his clothes. “His heart was in the right place, he just…”</p><p>“Fucked up,” Dean finished, crossing his arms. “He fucked up.” He looked angrily at his wife, who was now rubbing her temples, looking remarkably like Cullen when he was constantly being disturbed by recruits. “Remind me again why you won’t let me exorcise this jackass?"</p><p>“Oh, go fuck yourself, Winchester,” the man said irritably, crossing his arms. “Being mad at me ain’t gonna help us solve this, so you can shove that self-righteousness up your ass or get the hell out the way while the rest of us come up with a plan to save my goddaughter.”</p><p>Dean turned a fierce shade of purple and closed his eyes for a moment before he rounded on Nia, practically vibrating with rage. “We… need to have a <em>long</em> fucking talk,” he said in a clipped tone. “But now isn’t the time.” </p><p>“You’re absolutely right on both counts,” Nia replied, looking at the hallway as Grace breathlessly ran into the room. “But right now, I need everyone to get off Alex’s back so we can figure out what to do here.” Cullen got up to greet Grace, and Nia walked over to Dean’s side and sat down. Dean moved closer to his wife, wrapping an arm around Nia and placing a kiss on her cheek as he glared at the man across from him. The man named Alex simply rolled his eyes, scratching his nose with his middle finger, causing Nia to let out an irritated groan.</p><p>“Oh shit,” Grace muttered under her breath, looking at the scene unfolding in front of her. “This <em>must</em> be bad if those two are in the same room.” Cullen stared at her curiously but she shook her head, clearing her throat before addressing the room. “Ok, the gang’s all here- what do you need us to do?” </p><p>Nia stared at her eldest daughter, then nodded with approval. “I’ve asked everyone inside the Waystation because we <em>cannot</em> talk about this outside- it’s not safe.” She looked at Lana and Cullen, then pursed her lips. “When you get home, it is of vital importance that you do <em>not</em> say a word about what happened in here- are we clear?” </p><p>Cullen started to say something, but Lana just nodded, cutting him off before he could speak. “Understood, but Mom, I don’t understand- why is the pilot here? What does he have to do with this?”</p><p>“I’m Sam’s godfather,” Alex replied, causing Lana to look at Nia with alarm. “And while you’re all pointing fingers at me for fucking up the timeline, I just want to point out I saved Sam from losing her shit while the newbie and loverboy over here were too busy planning a war to notice."</p><p>Dean gave a sharp inhale and whirled his head in Cullen’s direction, but Nia put a hand on his leg. “That was supposed to happen, Alex,” she said wearily. “I needed to take Sam out of the equation.” </p><p>At that, everyone’s head snapped to her, and Nia sighed. “If I told her not to go, she would have just gone anyway- you all know that. There was no way she was ever willingly letting you go off alone, Lana,” Nia said with a smile. “And until <em>Alex</em> warned her to take the ring off,” she said with a glare, “everything was fine- you all noticed, took care of her, and you were well on your way to incapacitating her.”</p><p>Lana’s eyes widened, and Cullen could tell she was putting the pieces together. “So, if Sam wasn’t there to distract the Nightmare, what would have happened?” </p><p>Nia looked down at her shirt, picking at some invisible thing. “The demon wouldn’t have been as strong,” she admitted. “You had to fight harder because she was there, and Hawke would have stayed behind to help you escape.” </p><p>She let out a dejected sigh, and Cullen felt his jaw drop with shock- granted, Hawke was a pain in his ass on the best of days, but to have him sacrifice himself for the others… “I don’t understand,” he said quietly, looking at his mother-in-law in shock, “knowing the things you do, how could you let that happen? He’s your nephew!” </p><p>Nia just looked up at him. “He was fated to do so,” she said carefully. “There was always going to be a choice between him and Ali- no matter what, one of them was always supposed to stay behind.” She glanced over at Lana, who was clutching Cullen’s leg. “That’s why I sent the kids there early,” Nia admitted. “I needed to get Grace over there.”</p><p>Grace’s eyes went wide. “You knew I’d move the wedding up,” she said incredulously, and Cullen could see the wheels turning in her mind. “Which would force Lana to choose Hawke.” When Nia didn’t say a thing, Grace just flopped into a chair, running her hands through her hair. “I mean, I knew you were calculating, but that’s cold as fuck, even for you, Mom.” </p><p>Cullen was inclined to agree, but seeing as he was getting a glimpse into the manipulations of the woman, he found that he didn’t want to be the object of her ire. Instead, he glanced over at Lana, who had gone pale and silent. Swallowing, he guided her to the other sofa and sat her down, taking her hand in his. “Lana,” he said quietly, “are you all right?” </p><p>“She’s right,” she said calmly, looking at her mother. “If those were the choices, there’s not a doubt in my mind I would have chosen Hawke to stay if he’d offered… and if Ali had offered to stay, then I would have stayed too.” She glanced down at her locket, then focused her attention back to her mother. “You had a plan, didn’t you? As we’re all finding out today, you don’t do too much without one, do you?” </p><p>“I did,” she admitted. “I was going to send Hawke back… hence the photos we took at your wedding,” she said, pointing at the wall. “Once he'd made his sacrifice, I was going to ask if he wanted to be a guide- I was hoping he would say yes and you could be done with your duties, Alex.”</p><p>“What do the pictures have to do with anything?” Cullen asked, looking over at everyone. To his surprise, no one would look at him- Dean had his head in his hands, Grace was looking at the floor, and Alex was picking at his nails, which only served to unsettle him even further. Lana looked just as confused as he felt, so he decided to continue. “I’m not sure I understand.”</p><p>His father-in-law was the first to speak, not bothering to move his head from his hands. “Some cultures here refuse to let you take a picture of them because they believe the camera is gonna trap a piece of your soul.” He placed a hand on his wife’s leg and let out a sigh, still not looking up. “Seems like my wife took that little tidbit literally.” </p><p>“A backup,” she said, looking at Lana and Cullen. “Just in case I ever needed it.” She looked at Alex, then frowned. “But you brought Sam back into the picture when you told her to take off her ring. And because it’s you and I can’t see what you do,” she continued, “I didn’t know the path had changed.” </p><p>“Shit,” he said, looking down. “I didn’t know,” he whispered. “You’ve always played the long game, kid, but damn if I knew you were playing one with Squeak and the newbie.” </p><p>“I told you, I take care of my kids,” Nia said stiffly. “Even if the end result isn’t always apparent to anyone else.” </p><p>“And you can’t tell anyone about it because we may do something to change it,” Cullen said thoughtfully, remembering the cryptic way she’d assisted them at Haven. “Maker, this is a terrible way to live,” he breathed, shaking his head. </p><p>“It is,” she admitted, giving him a sad little smile. “Which is why I’m in such a mood about being blindsided- eleven years of planning just went to pot in a matter of hours, and I’m a bit put out by it.” </p><p>“So what do we do?” Cullen asked, looking around the room. “We can’t let Sam stay like this- we have to get her back.” </p><p>“Quite right,” she said, reaching in her pocket and surprising him by pulling out the emerald ring she'd given him all those years ago. “Maybe you should try asking her again,” she said with a grin, glancing over at her husband. “Doing it while she's conscious this time couldn’t hurt, right?” </p><p>Cullen nodded, then a thought hit him and he jerked his head to his father-in-law. “Dean, I’d like to ask your permission first, if I may.” </p><p>Dean’s head snapped up, surprised at the question. “Huh?”</p><p>“I’d like to ask for your permission to marry your daughter,” Cullen said seriously. “If I’m being given a second chance to have a life with her, I’d be remiss not to ask you when I have the chance.” He looked at his father-in-law eagerly, fervently hoping that the man wasn’t spiteful enough to deny his request this time around. “I’d like to do this properly since I did things so terribly the first time.”</p><p>To his surprise, the man just laughed. “Well, it’s not like I can fucking say no- if you’re the only thing that’s gonna get my little girl back, then what choice do I have?” Dean asked, shaking his head. “Goddamn it, Rutherford, I hate you <em>so</em> fucking much.” Cullen felt his heart sink in his throat, but then the man continued. “You’re here dealing with this crap, so obviously you’re willing to do anything for my kid. So yeah, you’ve got my blessing- just... get my kid back safe, all right?”</p><p>Cullen grinned, then looked at his father-in-law hopefully. “Does this mean you no longer hate me?”</p><p>“I wouldn’t go that far, Rutherford- just shut the fuck up and take the win, ok?”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Between the call from Lana that morning and the text from her mom telling her to come over right away, Grace knew that shit was about to go down, but seeing her family plus Sam’s godfather in the same room together almost made her turn around and go back home. <em>The only way this could get any worse is if my dad decided to stop by</em>, she initially thought as she carefully peered around the corner, hoping for that not to be the case.  However, once her mother had started talking, Grace realized she was wrong- it could always get worse.</p><p>She was no stranger to her mom’s long term plans, but what was scaring the fuck out of her was the fact that for the first time in her life, her mother <em>didn’t</em> have a plan. Grace knew her mother wasn’t helpless- you’d have to be out of your mind to underestimate the woman like that, but it was definitely unnerving to watch her come up with a plan on the fly. But as she watched her mom hand her brother the ring, she discovered that seeing her in action was also a bit fascinating, too. </p><p>Grace had always wondered if she was anything like her mom, and the woman had always reassured her she was, but today she could finally see it. She could tell her mother's mind was moving a million miles a minute, and she wasn’t just skipping to the end like she always did- <em>Mom’s plotting out every move and countermove in her head, just like I do,</em> Grace thought with awe.<em> If the situation wasn’t so fucked up, this might be amazing to watch. </em></p><p>All of a sudden, Lana’s phone rang, and her sister took it from her pocket, looking at the screen nervously. “It’s Sam,” she said carefully as she answered the call. “Hello?”</p><p>Grace watched as she listened for a few moments, seeing her sister’s face change from nerves to surprise as Lana listened for a few more minutes, then nodded. “He’ll be there shortly,” she said as she hung up the phone, then addressed the room. “That was Ali,” Lana told everyone. “He’s with Sam… and he says she’s willing to talk to Cullen.” Cullen looked ready to bolt out the door, but Lana put up a hand. “Before you go, we need some information,” she said carefully. “Can anyone tell us why Sam thinks he’s so terrible?”</p><p>Nia paused for a second, and Grace could tell that she was scanning the threads- she supposed that her mother had found the one she was looking for when she let out a deep sigh. “It appears that in this reality, Sam was in an accident and she was in the hospital for quite some time- it seems like she thinks this version of Cullen didn’t come to see about her while she was there, so they broke up.”</p><p>“I wonder if she’s transposing what happened to her,” Grace said thoughtfully, an idea forming in her head. “Guys, you never really told me what happened out there? Can you tell us now? I think it might help.” </p><p>Cullen looked pained, but Lana gripped her hands together, looking down at the floor. “She died in the fade- we all felt the charms go silent,” she said quietly, looking over at Cullen, who nodded morosely. “But the pilot- I mean, Alex, told me that I should have faith in her. So, I… I reached out. I kept trying to pull her back, and when Cullen connected with me, I felt her charm activate again.” Lana swallowed, looking up at everyone with tears in her eyes. “She found us again.” </p><p>“She’s right,” Alex said softly, speaking for the first time since his spat with Dean. “I knew she’d need a connection- I told the newbie that on purpose. Guess I just forgot about his,” he said sheepishly. “Sorry about that, Rutherford.” </p><p>Understanding began to cross Grace's face, and she began to tap the edge of her seat, trying to organize her thoughts. “Then I think that’s it,” Grace said thoughtfully, biting the inside of her cheek. “She knows Lana cause she was the bridge back to your world, but she doesn’t know he helped… looks like you gotta convince her that you’re still there, Metal Man.” </p><p>Despite his shock and grief, Cullen gave her a smile. “I hated that name when she used it, dear sister- it doesn't sound any better coming from you.” </p><p>“Like I give a shit,” Grace said with a grin, turning to her mom, who was now smiling. “Now that we know the deal, Mom, how do they find Sam and Ali?” </p><p>“I can send Cullen to her directly,” she replied, turning to her son-in-law. "When you get there, send Ali through the same door you came from- it’ll take him back home.” This time, when her mom looked at Lana, Grace could see a slight frown on her lips. “Lana, would you mind remaining behind? I’d like to talk to you for a moment, if I may."</p><p>Grace knew good and damn well this wasn’t a request, but she wasn’t sure if Lana understood how mom worked just yet. To her credit, Lana nodded. “As you wish,” she said politely. “Cullen,” she said, turning to him and placing a hand on his, “I brought her out the rift… now it’s your turn to bring her back to us.” Her eyes scanned his face, wide and pleading. “You’ve done it once before… I have faith that you can do it again.” </p><p>Cullen stood up, giving Lana a tight hug. “You have my word,” he whispered. “I’m not coming back without her.”</p><p>“That's good, because its time to go, Cullen,” Nia said quietly, getting up and guiding him to the door. “Remember who you are,” she said softly, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “If you can do that, then everything will be ok.” Her brother swallowed, then gave Nia a curt nod before striding purposefully out the door. <em>That's a lot of pressure,</em> Grace thought sadly. <em>I don't envy him at all</em>.</p><p>Once the door had closed, her mom turned her attention to Lana. “As for you, my daughter, it seems we have no way to communicate anymore, which I find to be a shame.” Then she paused, and Grace knew exactly what the look on her mom’s face meant- it was the same look she’d give her when she was debating just how much she could tell her about something. “Do you know what a guide actually does, Lana?”</p><p>Lana shook her head. “I’m afraid I don’t,” she admitted, looking over at Alex. “I didn’t have much time to converse about it.” <br/>
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“His job is to guide people from one world to the next,” Nia said carefully. “Here, we have doors, but you have something similar in your world too, Lana.” Grace waited for her mother to elaborate further but she didn’t, making Grace sit back in her chair, waiting to see how this played out. "I can shift the destinations to travel through them at will- Alex can do something similar. Previously, I asked him to serve as your guide, using the paths between worlds to send messages… and report back to me.” </p><p> Lana’s jaw dropped, and she stared at Alex, a surprised expression on her face. “You’re Baron Plucky.” </p><p>Alex nodded, giving her a smile. “Told you I was more, newbie.”  He sighed, leaning back in the chair. “I won’t miss the food, but I gotta admit, I am gonna miss Leli.”</p><p>Grace wasn’t surprised at the revelation, and she chuckled to herself- she knew that no one would admit it, but the pilot had probably been keeping tabs on her, too- most likely he was the one that ratted her out in the bar all those years ago and got her sent to the Commonwealth. “So, since he’s not serving as the walking bucket of KFC anymore, how do Lana and Sam get in contact with you, Mom? Shaun only hooked up our phones- can you add yourself in?” </p><p>She shook her head. “I’m not supposed to be in Thedas… at all.” She looked at Alex, who nodded in agreement. “It causes problems when I’m there.”</p><p>Lana frowned. “But you’ve come before,” she said curiously, looking at her sister- Grace just shrugged. Exasperated, she turned back to their mother. “If you could come to us before, why not now?” </p><p>“Circumstances have changed," Nia said carefully. “If you’ll remember, Flemeth and I have a bit of a history together, Lana… considering the consequences of that meeting are still rippling through your world, I’d like not to repeat that situation if at all possible.” </p><p>“Wait,” Grace said carefully, “are you telling me that the great and powerful Nia Roberts… <em>actually</em> fucked up somewhere along the line?” She smirked, folding her arms across her chest. “I gotta admit, I thought you’d combust if you ever admitted something like that.” </p><p>Her mother let out an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes. “I’ve lived for hundreds of years, GraceFace- I’m going to fuck up from time to time- it’s inevitable.” </p><p>“That’s for damn sure,” Alex said with a smirk. “She did it all the time when I first met her- I've gotten used to it by now.” </p><p>“While I am happy to know my mother isn’t perfect,” Lana said with a smile, “I find I'm still with the issue of not being able to reach you.” </p><p>“Well, someone now owes me, big time,” Nia told Alex, crossing her arms. “If only I knew <em>someone</em> that had a spectral form and could cross the barrier in case of an emergency… that would certainly make our lives easier, wouldn’t it?” </p><p>Alex rolled his eyes. “Fine, you little murdering space hobo. I accept your goddamn offer,” he said, getting up to shake her hand. “I swear, I hate this stupid ass code of yours,” he groused. “We both knew you were gonna make me do it anyway, so why do we always have to play this game?” </p><p>“Because you always have a choice,” Nia said pointedly, her gaze quickly shifting to Lana for a moment before returning to Alex. “I’ll never make someone serve if they don’t want to.”</p><p>“Whatever,” Alex replied, looking at Lana carefully before rising to his feet and staring at Nia, holding her hand in his. “We playin’ with the Halcyon deck today?” </p><p><em>This is code,</em> Grace thought quickly. <em>But they both know I can tell- why are they letting me in on it?</em></p><p>Nia nodded and Alex sighed, releasing her hand. “Fine, newbie- if you or Sam need your mom, just call out and I’ll give her the message. I can’t guarantee she’s gonna respond, but I’ll deliver it just the same.” </p><p>Lana stood up and extended her hand to the pilot. “I’m sorry it happened like this, but I must still offer you my thanks for saving my sister, Alex- that is a debt I can never repay.”</p><p>“Hey, she’s family,” Alex said quietly as he walked with Lana toward the door. “And family looks out for each other.” </p><p>Grace watched her sister and the pilot leave- once she heard the door click shut behind them, she turned to her mom and Dean. “So, while this whole little show was heartwarming as hell,” she said carefully, “I'm not buying the fact I was just here to sit back and eat popcorn. Out with it, mom- what did you want me to know?”</p><p>Nia took Dean’s hand, then smiled at her daughter- as she suspected, there was more to it than her mother was letting on. “Alex gave one of their companions a window into the Between,” she said carefully.</p><p>Without saying a word, Grace headed to the fridge, quickly prepping two beers. Judging by the look on Dean's face throughout this conversation, she figured she wasn't the only one who could use a drink. She walked back to the living room and handed one to her stepfather, who tilted the bottle to her in appreciation. When she'd settled back in her seat, she let out a sigh. "Is this about the guy John noticed?"</p><p>Her mother nodded. “Right now, their goals align, but there’s going to come a time where they won’t,” she said carefully. “And I need eyes over there.” Her mother shifted in her seat, and Grace noticed she looked a little uncomfortable. “My signature is too strong, but as a ghost, Alex's is negligible… and no matter his form, Alex is still a guide.” </p><p>She thought about it for a moment, then her eyes narrowed as she put the pieces together. “And he's my guide too,” Grace remarked casually, watching her mom’s face for a reaction. “So he can open the door for me.” </p><p>“And Alex can discuss his findings with you and John,” her mother added. “Their companion can’t see in here… but thanks to him sending the three of them into the between, he can see out there.” Nia sighed, then smiled at Grace. “As you know, I can’t interfere directly,” she said with an apologetic look. “But I can help.” </p><p>As the pieces clicked into place, Grace began to get nervous- this situation had to be pretty bad if her mother was willing to offer up this much assistance and information. “Is this bigger than what I went through?” When her mother nodded, Grace let out a groan. “Then fuck me sideways,” she hissed, taking a swig of her beer. “This whole thing is gonna be a shitshow.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Cullen stepped out the door and found himself outside the coffee shop, staring into the faces of Ali and Sam- he hadn’t felt this nervous around his wife since his wedding day all those years ago. However, this time she wasn’t beaming with pride as they grew closer, but practically shaking with rage, the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. His heart twisted in a knot when Ali placed a hand on her shoulder, calming her down a smidgen, and he had to stop himself from growing unreasonably angry at the gesture. <em>That should be me</em>, he thought bitterly. <em>My wife should be turning to me for comfort.</em></p><p>Swallowing and feeling the reassuring weight of the emerald ring in his pocket, Cullen took a deep breath and continued toward Sam, trying to ignore the pain he felt every time she looked at him with anger in her eyes. “Samantha,” he said, forcing himself not to wrap his arms around her and bury his face in her hair. “May we take a walk and talk, please?” </p><p>She glanced down at her cane and scowled at him. “Haha, very fucking funny- are we adding being an insensitive dick to everything else now?”</p><p>The words escaped his lips before he had time to stop himself. “Samantha, if you desired it, then I would carry you wherever you wished to go.”  </p><p>Taken aback by his statement, Sam looked at him strangely. For a second her eyelids fluttered, then narrowed as she crossed her arms. “Yeah, carrying me won’t be necessary- we can go slow, but it might be a struggle for you not to <em>leave me</em>,” she said pointedly. Cullen winced at the sting in her words, causing Ali to lean over and whisper something in her ear. To his credit, she listened for a moment, then sighed, rolling her eyes. “Let’s just go and get this over with,” she said, her voice dripping with exasperation. “I don’t have all damn day.”</p><p>He offered her his arm, and she scoffed, jerking away from him. “I mean no disrespect,” Cullen said quickly. “I only wish to assist you… nothing more. I know you are more than capable of taking care of yourself, lo-” he caught himself before he could continue with the endearment. “I just want to make things easier for you, Samantha.” </p><p>“If I need your help, I’ll let you know,” Sam said tersely as she turned to Ali, placing her phone in her pocket and handing over her backpack. “Stay nearby, ok? I don't trust this asshole, so if I start screaming, I expect you to come running.”</p><p>Ali winced, then nodded. “I’m just going to go inside and get something to drink,” he replied casually, looking apologetically at Cullen. “I’ll be waiting for you when you two come back.” He walked past the commander, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Good luck,” he whispered. “She’s pretty hurt.” </p><p>He smiled at her, losing himself in the bright green of her eyes, gesturing to Sam and the trail that led toward the nearby lake. “Shall we?” </p><p>“Whatever.”</p><p>He walked with Sam in silence for a moment, watching her closely as they made their way toward the water. She was unsteady on her feet and her hand trembled slightly as it gripped the top of her cane, but other than that, she was fine. Taking advantage of the temporary silence, he paused and gave her a moment to rest, inhaling the scent of the trees and water around them, finding it foreign and familiar at the same time. "It's nice out here," he said softly, glancing over at her.</p><p>“I didn’t need a break,” she interrupted, leaning on her cane and staring at him. “Thought you wanted to get to the lake so fast- what, still debating the best way to leave me stranded out here?” </p><p>Her words stung, but he shook it off. “I was just admiring the view,” he replied, staring at her intently, finding a slight bit of joy at the tiny tremor she gave at his words. <em>You’re still mine</em>, he thought. <em>Deep down, you know it’s still me. </em></p><p>Sam stared at him for a minute, then bit her lip and turned away. “While this is great and all, you said you wanted to talk to me? What’s so important that you had to go and get Lana and Ali mixed up in it?”</p><p><em>Now or never.</em> “I want to talk to you about what happened,” he said, being careful not to accuse her one way or the other. “I need to make sure I understand how you feel, and I’d like to tell you my part of the story… would that be all right with you?” She looked as if she wanted to protest, and he unconsciously reached out, placing his hand on hers. “If you ever cared about me, then allow me this courtesy, Sam,” he pleaded. “If at the end you still despise me, I will respect your wishes and leave you in peace,” he said, praying to the Maker with every bit of his soul she’d hear him out. “But I need to talk to you."</p><p>She was so silent that Cullen found himself wondering Sam could still manipulate time in this reality. “I guess I can do that,” she said softly. “You want to go first?”</p><p>“I do,” he replied. “But I’d also like for us to sit, as I am concerned about your leg,” he said, eyeing her wobbling cane. “While I have no doubt that you know your limits, this may take a moment, and no matter what I want to say, it doesn’t take precedence over your health.” </p><p>Sam bit her lip, not looking at him as she headed toward the bench facing the lake. “I don’t understand you,” she said sadly. “How can you be like this one minute and yet you just abandoned me when I needed you most?” </p><p>Cullen paused, thinking about how best to answer her. “I’d like to see if what I have to say makes things clearer,” he said finally, guiding her to a seat on the bench. At first, she flinched when his hand connected with hers, but eventually, she allowed him to help her sit. Relieved at her acquiescence, Cullen placed her cane at her side and settled on the bench next to her, paying careful attention to how close he was. “I know you owe me nothing, but I’m wondering it’s possible for you to hold your thoughts until I’m finished," he asked hopefully, amber eyes roaming over her sad face. At this distance, Cullen was able to see the fading scars crisscrossing his wife's skin and he wanted nothing more than to trace every one of them with his finger, but he fought the urge and held his hands tightly in his lap. </p><p>Sam looked at him, and he thought he saw her hands raise slightly before settling in her lap. “I guess I can do that,” she whispered. “What do you want to say?” </p><p>He stared out over the water, and for a moment he could pretend he was back in Ferelden, traveling with Sam on their way back from Honnleath. Cullen remembered the night they had camping with her on the shores of the lake, resting together in his tent as he tried desperately to push the fact she’d fall asleep and leave him out of his mind. <em>I should have proposed to you properly that day</em>, he thought. <em>Maybe if I had, we wouldn’t be in this situation right now.</em></p><p>In the end, Cullen decided that the truth was best. He’d never lied to her before and he had no intention of starting now, no matter the circumstances. “When you had your accident,” he said, trying to avoid the images of her battered body from flooding his brain, “it was as if my world came crashing to a halt- I saw you there and they had to stop me from flinging myself on top of you.” He looked over at her, and to her credit, she was simply watching, her face neutral. “I let them take you to give you aid, but I waited outside for a word, one way or the other- I needed to know if you were going to live or die... because whatever happened to you was going to happen to me. I knew as surely as I knew my own name that if you left my world, then my heart would surely stop beating right then and there.” </p><p>Sam started to say something, but Cullen continued. “When they told me you would survive, I sat at your bedside every night,” he admitted. “Lana may have brought you home, but I was always there for you, Sam,” he said, looking over at her. “The only time I left was so your sister could be with you, but you have to know that I never wanted to go.” Hoping she wouldn’t rebuff him for it, he took her hand, giving a silent prayer of thanks when she didn’t yank away. “I prayed to the Maker every night that he’d bring you back to me, but you never came,” he whispered. “I stayed by your side, waiting for you to reach out to me, but now I’m wondering if you didn’t realize just how much I needed you to come home.”  </p><p>She didn't speak so he continued, desperate for her to understand just how much she meant to him. “You don’t remember me asking you this, so I'm going to ask you again." Taking a deep breath, Cullen reached in his pocket and pulled out the emerald ring. "I want you with me forever, Samantha Cassiopeia Winchester,” he said as he placed the ring on her hand. “I’ve loved you since our days in Kinloch Hold, and I’ll follow you across the universe if you need me to. You told me once that I was your second, and not even death would keep you from me. If I ever had a doubt before, I have none now.” Still holding her hand, he kneeled in front of her, feeling his heart beating wildly in his chest as she stared at him with wide eyes. “You are mine forever and always, Samantha- if you ever need to find your way home, you only need to look down and think of me.” Cullen traced the stones with his finger, then clasped her hand in his. “Whenever you see this ring, I want you to know my love for you knows no limits, neither of space nor time.” He smiled at his wife, fondly remembering their wedding day all those years ago. “For wherever you are, so am I.”</p><p>Spent and unsure, Cullen hung his head, resting it on her knees as he clung to her hands as if in prayer. “Maker knows what you’re thinking, but I couldn’t go another minute without letting you know how I feel, love. You were always enough,” he said quietly, not willing to look up- if the look in her eyes was still that cold anger he’d felt earlier, he didn’t know how he’d ever recover. “And if I ever made you feel otherwise, then let me spend the rest of my days making it up to you.” </p><p>Outside of the thumping of his heart, the world was quiet except for the sound of water crashing against the rocks and the songs of the nearby birds in the rustling leaves. Cullen couldn’t hear a word or a sound from Sam, and he was still too scared to look up at her, clutching her hand in his and praying she’d forgive him for not being the man she’d deserved time and time again.<em> If this is what it takes to hold her in my arms, then I’ll stay like this forever,</em> he decided. <em>If my eternity is sitting here with her, then I will take it without complaint.</em></p><p>Suddenly, he felt the sensation of hands running through his hair and Cullen finally dared to look up, seeing <em>his</em> Sam, his wife, staring back at him, her eyes bright with unshed tears. Unsure if he was right but hoping he was, he brought a hand to his cheek, feeling like he could grow wings and fly away when she leaned into his touch. “Sam,” he whispered, “do you remember us now?” </p><p>Sam gave him a smile that made his heart soar away, then placed a kiss on his forehead, making his body shake with relief. “Thank you for coming for me, Metal Man,” she whispered, stroking the side of his face as if he was the most precious thing in the world. “This dream was nice, but I think I’m ready to go home now.” </p>
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<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Recovery and Redemption</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sam recovers from Adamant; Ali &amp; Leli figure out what Blackwall has been up to</p>
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<hr/><p>My eyes felt like someone had not only welded them shut, but shoved bits of glue in the corners for good measure. Every part of my body was screaming with pain, and my skin felt raw- even the light cover draped over me was like being scrubbed with sandpaper. After a monumental struggle, I finally managed to open one eye and saw the blurry figure of what I assumed was my husband or Ali sitting next to me. When I shifted the figure moved, and the warm voice rolling over me immediately made me wish I could smile. “Samantha,” Cullen said, leaning over to me and placing a gentle kiss on my forehead that made me wince. “You’ve come back to us.” </p><p><em>This hurts</em>, I thought to my husband, wishing I could get the offending blanket far, far away from my aching body. <em>Can you please get this scratchy shit off of me? My skin feels like it’s on fire and this isn’t helping.</em></p><p>“I can’t do that,” he replied sadly. “Grace said you need to keep this on while we treat your burns.” Cullen lowered his head next to mine, stroking the one part of my face that didn’t feel like it was on fire. <em>Thank the maker,</em> he said in my head. <em>I’m so happy your back with me, my love</em>. </p><p><em>Yeah, well as soon as I get better, how about you show me just how much you missed me</em>, I teased, cutting my eyes over to him- he was slightly more in focus now. <em>I’d do say let's do it now, but I think I might die… again.</em></p><p>He chuckled, moving a hair away from my face and brushing his finger over the top of my ear. <em>Don’t joke about such things, Sam- I never want to go through such an ordeal ever again. </em></p><p>Soon I heard a door fly open, followed by running footsteps. “Is she awake?” Lana's face peered over me with her hands clamped over her mouth and her green eyes full of tears. “Oh Sam,” she breathed, almost wrapping me in a hug before Cullen put out a hand to stop her from killing me. “I’ve missed you so much!”</p><p><em>I’m happy to see you too, but if you touch me right now I’m going to scream bloody murder,</em> I told her, trying to force my aching lips into a smile. <em>I can’t even move my mouth, much less handle your ass jumping on me like a goddamn golden retriever. </em></p><p><em>So you are back,</em> Lana replied in my head and dropping to the bed, leaning against Cullen with tears in her eyes.<em> I love you so much, you idiot girl- don’t ever do something like that again, understand? </em></p><p>From the corner of my eye, I saw a figure standing nearby that I assumed was Solas, but I couldn’t turn my head to check- everything hurt too much. “Is she awake?” Solas asked with concern.”From the way you’re reacting and the magic in the air, I assume she’s talking with you.” </p><p>Cullen turned his head and nodded. “She is. She says her skin is on fire- is there anything we can do for her?”</p><p>Solas nodded, then came toward the bed, sending a wave of cooling magic over me that made me let out a small sigh of relief. <em>Tell him I said thank you,</em> I told them, trying my best to settle into a comfortable position. <em>Now that I'm not dying, I'd be ever so fucking grateful if one of you can go get my medicine bag and get the real pain meds I got in there.</em></p><p>Cullen looked over at Lana, who nodded. “I’ll be back,” she said softly, watching me closely. “I’ll also let the others know she’s awake.” </p><p>The elf chuckled. “Since she doesn’t seem to be able to answer me, it looks like you’re going to have to translate for us, Commander.” Solas settled back in a chair across from me, crossing his legs and giving me a kindly smile. “How are you feeling, Samantha?” </p><p><em>Tell him much better,</em> I replied, closing my eyes again.<em> I’ll be even better once I get proper drugs and I’m higher than a kite, but for now, I’m just happy to be in one piece- anything else is a bonus right now.</em> </p><p>“She’s doing much better,” he told the elf, tentatively taking my hand and not taking his eyes off me. “Thank you, Solas… for sending us to her. We could not have done it without you.” </p><p>“It was my pleasure, Commander,” Solas replied, pausing for a moment before speaking again. “I was happy to help.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Ali looked over at Leli as they approached the Commander’s apartments. Even though she wasn’t able to talk yet, Sam had caused quite a mental ruckus about not wanting to remain in the healer’s cabin a minute longer and threatened to use whatever energy she had to transport herself to her apartments if someone didn’t move her in the next few minutes. After they realized that she was serious, Lana and Cullen had arranged for her to be sent back to her quarters immediately, much to the satisfaction of her husband. </p><p>News of her improved condition had traveled quickly- over the next few days, all the members of Team Mage had all popped into the apartments to see her. Though she wasn’t able to speak or move yet, Sam was perfectly cognizant- with one of them there to translate, it was almost business as usual. Her mental sharpness, combined with her irritation at being bedridden, was why Alistair hadn’t objected too strongly to Leli’s company on his visit with her today. He was happy to take watch over his sister since Lana was going to be out for a while- Cass had asked her to look into something with the Seekers while they headed out on a mission with Varric for his old girlfriend.</p><p>Normally, Cullen would be hovering over his wife, but he was back on the field with Blackwall and the troops. To be honest, Ali was surprised that Leli hadn’t tried to come bursting in with questions long before- ever since Ali had conscripted the Wardens into the Inquisition, the spymaster had been quite interested to see what the consequences of such a decision would be. Trying to temper Leli's expectations, he turned to the spymaster, keeping his voice low in case Sam was sleeping. “Now, she is still recovering,” he warned as they ascended the ladder to the upstairs apartment. “We must be careful to-“ When his head emerged, he had to pause and stare in shock- to his surprise, Sam was sitting up in bed, staring at them with a glassy but happy expression. “Um,” he remarked, finishing his ascent and moving over so Leli could move into the room, “not that I’m complaining, but how are you sitting up right now?” </p><p>Sam cut her eyes to an odd device on the nightstand, then looked back to him.<em> I walked Cullen through giving me some of my drugs,</em> she said silently. <em>I’m pretty sure there are three of you right now, but I’m not in any pain anymore.</em> She looked over to Leli, and to Ali’s delight, the corners of her mouth began to turn up into a small smile. <em>And watch this,</em> she said proudly, gritting her teeth in determination as she raised a hand, moving her fingers slightly in greeting. <em>It’s a start,</em> she admitted. <em>It's slow and nowhere near steady, but at least I can move a little.</em></p><p>“Then those drugs of yours are quite handy to have,” Ali said, crossing the room to place a kiss on his sister’s forehead and sitting on the bed with her, watching as Leliana took a seat across from him. “Are you up to handling some business today, Sparrow?” </p><p><em>Definitely</em>, she thought. <em>I’m climbing the walls with all this polite conversation</em>. Sam looked over at Leli and tried to smile again. <em>What does she need? </em></p><p>“Well,” Ali said aloud, “we wanted to talk to you about the Blackwall situation- Leli has some news.” He looked at the spymaster, who was waiting patiently for her turn to talk. “It seems we’ve found out more about who our favorite non-warden truly is.”</p><p>“We have,” Leli replied. “His name is Thom Rainer, and apparently, he was a Captain in the Orlesian army.” She looked over at Sam with concern. “One of his soldiers is set to be tried for crimes against one of Empress Celine’s allies,” Leliana said evenly. “But knowing the soldier that has been by our side all this time, I do not think he would let that man go to the Gallows for crimes that he himself has committed- what do you see happening if he finds out about such news?”</p><p>Ali just watched Leli in shock- he could tell she was debating putting the missive somewhere the false warden would find it, prompting his actions one way or the other. However, while Alistair had no desire to see Rainer suffer, he also had no interest in seeing a good soldier go to the Maker for trusting the orders of their superior. “Is there a way we can stop the execution without condemning our colleague?” </p><p>Sam thought about it for a moment, closing her eyes.<em> I do see a path, but it involves a lot of work</em>, she admitted.<em> Does Cullen know about this yet? </em></p><p>He shook his head. “We wanted to talk to you before we brought this matter to the Commander,” Ali replied, looking over at the spymaster. “If there is hope for Black- I mean Rainer, then I would like to present it, and you know how your husband is.”</p><p><em>Got it,</em> she said, giving the slightest of nods to Leli. <em>Then we gotta do what we can to save him. Even though he’s a lying sonofabitch, he's done a lot of good here- the least we can do is give him the choice to continue to do what’s right. </em></p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Lana stared at Varric as they made camp, trying her best to keep her composure. “So,” she started, turning her attention to the fire, “that was Bianca.” </p><p>Varric looked like he was in no mood for chit-chat. The dwarf gave her a cursory glance, then turned his attention back to his crossbow. “Yep.”</p><p>Lana flexed her fingers as she sat down, staring at the dwarf until Hawke came over and sat with them. He started to say something but took one look at her face and stopped, choosing not to say a word as he proceeded to clean his knives. “And she’s the maker of the crossbow,” Lana said flatly.</p><p>“Yep.”</p><p>Lana scowled, tossing a nearby branch into the flame and settling back into her seat. “I think I like the crossbow better.”</p><p>“Right now, so do I,” Varric agreed, beginning the process of carefully cleaning his weapon. She waited patiently for him to continue but the dwarf remained uncharacteristically quiet, leaving the only sounds to be the crackling of the fire in front of them. Lana wished she could talk with Cass, but the Seeker was in her tent and not speaking to anyone for the moment. Cassandra had been withdrawn ever since they'd fought with Seeker Lucius- while Lana could hardly blame her for it, she still missed her friend. </p><p>The three travelers sat in cold silence for a while- no one seemed to know exactly what to say, so Lana gave up on the conversation. Turning away from her stony companions, she headed off to her tent, stretching out her bedroll and closing her eyes. <em>Sam</em>, she thought, resting her hand against the locket and feeling the steady thrum of the magic beneath her fingers, <em>are you awake?</em></p><p><em>I was wondering when you’d call me,</em> came the reply. <em>Cullen’s still downstairs working, so I have a minute. Why? What’s up?</em> </p><p><em>You already know,</em> she replied, lacing her fingers behind her head and staring up at the canvas ceiling. <em>I could feel you in my head while we were traveling, Sam. </em></p><p><em>It's not my fault- you’re the one who decided to run off without me,</em> Sam retorted. Despite the angry lilt to her words, Lana could tell her sister was smiling. <em>Though I can’t say that traipsing through the deep roads with a bunch of red lyrium everywhere would’ve complied with my recovery orders.  </em></p><p><em>I think I’m inclined to vote no,</em> Lana admitted.<em> I take it you saw what happened down there. </em></p><p><em>Yeah,</em> Sam replied. <em>Looks like I’m not crazy after all. </em></p><p><em>I’m not sure what you mean,</em> Lana admitted. <em>Care to explain? </em></p><p><em>Mom warned me about lyrium years ago,</em> she admitted. <em>She told me if I saw the red stuff to run like crazy. And when we fought Meredith in Kirkwall…</em> Sam shuddered, and Lana could feel the movement inside her head. <em>I saw it- I saw the way the stuff encircled her, the way it stole the energy from her body… It <span class="u">hates</span> me, Lana Banana- I can feel it. </em></p><p><em>You’re safe,</em> Lana whispered in her head. <em>And to think that good-for-nothing snake in the grass Bianca was responsible for Corypheus getting his hands on the blasted stuff!</em> Lana growled, then tried unsuccessfully to get her emotions to settle.<em> I should’ve punched her in the face when I had the chance.</em></p><p><em>Holy shit</em>, Sam chuckled. <em>I can't believe it- leave you alone for one mission and you get all punchy.</em></p><p><em>She's lucky that's all I wanted to do,</em> Lana growled. <em>In your words, she's the one responsible for this fuckery we're experiencing right now.</em></p><p><em>Just because I’m not there, I’m going to be the voice of reason, </em>her sister said teasingly. <em>But it's a one time offer, so don’t get used to it.</em></p><p><em>I’m not sure you know how to do so,</em> Lana replied snidely. <em>But I’d love to hear you try.</em></p><p><em>Challenge accepted,</em> Sam said with a laugh, and Lana waited for her sister to continue. <em>Well, don’t ever let anyone know I said this, but Bianca thought she was doing what was right,</em> Sam said carefully. <em>Yeah, the bitch screwed up, but she owned up to it- it takes some balls to go back and admit you basically fist-fucked the world. </em></p><p><em>I would have thought that coming back from the dead would have curbed some of your more colorful word choices</em>, Lana said, settling under her covers.<em> But, alas, you seem to be as crass as ever, dear sister. </em></p><p><em>You know it,</em> Sam trilled happily, making Lana smile in her bed. <em>I still wish I was there with you, Lana Banana. </em></p><p><em>Then hurry up and get better,</em> she replied, closing her eyes and trying to get comfortable on her bedroll. <em>I miss having my sister by my side.</em></p><p><em>Liar</em>, Sam retorted. <em>You just miss eating my candy and being OP, you human trashcan.</em></p><p><em>True</em>, Lana admitted with a smile, wishing Sam was with her right now. <em>But I do miss you… a little.</em></p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Cullen felt the stirrings of a headache coming on as he looked at Ali, Josephine, and Leliana, trying his best to process the information they’d just given him. They were sitting in the War Room since no one wanted to not disturb Sam while they discussed their options, but he desperately wished he was back in his quarters. “So, Blackwall- I mean, <em>Thom Rainer</em>- is a criminal!” Cullen was furious. "This man we’ve had with us all this time is wanted for murder? How is it that Sam didn’t tell us this earlier?”</p><p>“Well, she <em>did</em> tell us something was wrong,” Ali replied, settling into a chair across from the spymaster. Cullen just glowered, leaning against the windowsill instead. “Sparrow said she couldn’t see him when she looked for Blackwall- this would be why.” </p><p>“So now what,” Cullen asked, settling his gaze on Leli. “I assume you have a plan, otherwise you wouldn’t be talking to me about it so calmly.”</p><p>The spymaster nodded. “Sam wants to talk to him and see his decisions. If he decides to turn himself in and be honorable, she says we can call for a favor with the Empress.” She paused for a moment, and Cullen felt a shiver creep up his spine as her lips curled up into a feral smile. “However, if we do not wish to strain our relations with Halamshiral, I have a plan that would work.” </p><p>“Um, hard pass,” a voice said from the back of the room, causing the Commander to almost jump out of his skin. Without anyone noticing, Sam had appeared in the back of the room, leaning against the railing and using an old staff Dorian had lent her as a cane. “I didn’t tell you about that option because it’s wrong, Leli.” She glanced up at her husband, then laughed as he crossed the room in seconds and swept her into his arms. “Would you put me down!” Sam said, laughing as she swatted at his hands. “I can’t be a proper advisor if you’re carrying me like I’m a little kid, Cullen!” </p><p>Laughing and not caring a bit if the others were around, he placed a soft kiss on her lips, earning a giggle from Josie and an eye roll from Ali. “I reserve the right to take care of my wife when she’s too much of a stubborn brat to rest and take care of herself,” he replied, walking over to a seat and resting her gently in his lap. “But since you’ve done exactly what I didn’t want you doing in the first place, I see no harm in you joining our discussion.” He looked over at Josie, who had returned to her notes with a smile on her lips. “What are your thoughts, Ambassador- would the Empress help us?” </p><p>Josie nodded. “She will. If the Inquisition asks for a favor, Celene will be honor-bound to assist us after Lana and Sam foiled the assassination attempt. However,” she remarked, looking over at Leliana, “the aftermath may not prove worth it,” she admitted. “It could easily be seen as an abuse of power by the Inquisition.” </p><p>“Which is why I’m here,” Sam countered, leaning her head against his chest. “When Lana returns, bring him to us- if he confesses, then send a note to Celeste and tell her to stop the execution. Seeing as we have the war criminal and the man that they’re holding is innocent, this should be a non-issue. If you need to trade on my name and say it’s divine intervention or something, then do it.” Cullen could feel her arm start to tremble in his arms, but she kept going. “Then we have two options- Ali, you can conscript him into the wardens after all this is over or he can be exiled. Makes no difference to me, but we can at least let him choose.” She let out a sigh, then collapsed against him. “Damn, I’m exhausted,” Sam admitted sheepishly. “I thought that the second dose of those meds would’ve helped by now.”</p><p>Ali scowled at her. “You took more of those drugs?” Cullen looked at her curiously and she gave him a helpless shrug, but Ali was undeterred. “You were barely able to move earlier- what would possess you to do such a thing?” </p><p>“I heal fast and I was tired of being useless,” she admitted, clutching her shaking hands and looking down at the floor. “If I can help, I want to help.” </p><p>She smiled at Cullen, but now that he was aware that she was playing at wellness, he knew what to look for- her eyes were still rimmed with dark bruises, the welts were still slightly raised, and her hands definitely had a tremor. “At any rate, Lana’s not back, correct?” Cullen asked, looking over at the others. When Leliana shook her head, Cullen stood up, scooping Sam in his arms and inclining his head at the others in the room. “Since we can do nothing till her return, I’m taking my foolhardy wife back home so she can rest- it appears our dear Samantha cannot be left to her own devices.” </p><p>With that, he turned and headed toward the door, which was being held open by a grinning Ali. “Night, Sparrow,” the warden said in a singsong voice. “Maybe next time you’ll think before you pull another stunt like that- we’re not kids anymore, remember?” </p><p>She stuck her tongue out at the warden as Cullen carried her to their quarters. “Seriously, I’m fine, Cullen,” Sam insisted, clutching her staff as they emerged in the cool night air. “It’s just a little dizziness- it’ll pass.” </p><p>“If you’re going to test your stamina,” he whispered in her ear, being careful to make sure that they weren’t overheard, “then it should be beneath me in our bed, not stumbling around without your husband at your side.” Cullen kissed her neck as they approached their door. “I’ve missed you, Samantha,” he murmured into her shoulder, feeling the rapid thump of her heartbeat against him as he entered the room and closed the door with his foot. “Please know you have nothing to prove to anyone, my love.”</p><p>Samantha looked down, refusing to meet his eyes. “I feel useless and ugly,” she said sadly as they stood in the middle of the room in front of the dying fire. “I look like a got in a fight with Edward Scissorhands and I can barely walk. If it weren’t for freaky off-world drugs, I wouldn’t even be able to talk or move- why are you so hot and bothered for me, Cullen?” </p><p>She tried to pull away but he wouldn’t let her- how could she not know how much he wanted her? “Darling,” he said with a laugh, caressing her scarred cheek, “I’ve been holding back in an effort to let you recover.” Cullen carried her upstairs, setting her gently on the bed as he started to take off his armor. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to have you look at me and  smile again- that's all I ever wanted, love.” </p><p>Sam didn’t respond, wrapping her arms around herself as she curled up into a ball. “Have you seen yourself, Cullen? You’re like a goddamn god chiseled out of fucking marble- if I didn’t know you firsthand, I’d say you were a living statue. I was barely good enough for you before all this, and I’m damn sure not winning any beauty contests now.” She stuck out a scarred arm, biting back a sob as she ran her finger over the raised flesh. “I…I…”</p><p>Chucking the last of his armor to the ground, Cullen raced over to her side, taking her arm in his hand and placing soft kisses over her scars, tracing his lips over every pucker in her skin. “Every one of these scars you bear reminds me of the sacrifice you made for your family.” He raised her shirt and moved her arms as she tried to cover her midsection, running his fingers over her scarred abdomen. “And these scars prove to me that you’re alive and you fought to be here… with me.” </p><p>He lifted the shirt over her head and helped her lie in bed, slowly and gently removing the soft pajama pants she loved so much. “You are mine, Samantha Rutherford,” Cullen whispered, his eyes roaming over her exposed form. "There’s not a scar or a limp or a tremor in your body that can ever change that. And no matter what you might think, you are still just as beautiful as you were the day I met you,” he said with a smirk, taking her wrist in his hand and placing it over his heart. For if I recall correctly, you injured yourself that day, too- why do you think I’d stop loving you for an injury now?” </p><p>She tried to laugh, but it ended up coming out as a cry, so Cullen lay down next to her, running his hands through her short, spiky hair. Starting at her ankles, Cullen began placing feather-light kisses along her entire body, careful to never press too hard but lingering long enough to taste the salt on her skin. “No matter what you may think,” he said between kisses, “you are the object of my desire, Samantha.” Tracing the tips of his fingers softly over the lines of her body, he smiled as she gasped and arched into his touch. “Now focus on getting better so I can show you just how much I adore you.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>I was trying my best to sketch, but I was having a terrible time doing it- my hands were constantly shaking, so no matter what I did, I couldn’t draw a line to save my life. After my fifth attempt at was rapidly becoming a fruitless gesture, I screamed and threw my pencil across the room, resting my head on the desk and crying. <em>That was it,</em> I thought bitterly. <em>My art was the last thing I had from my old life, and now that’s gone too. All that’s left is my ability- if that’s all I’m going to be, then why did I bother coming back at all?</em></p><p>Lost in my tears, I didn't notice Cole until he placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. “I would like you to come with me,” he said softly, extending his hand. “If I hold the memory in my mind, can you follow where I travel?”</p><p>He wasn’t making much sense, and to top it off, I really didn’t want to be bothered with anyone at the moment. “Thanks, but I’m not in the mood,” I said, trying to be polite. “I’m not having a very good day.” </p><p>Cole just cocked his head. “Feeling broken, nothing is as it should be. Wants one thing to hold onto, to make her feel like she was.” He walked over the corner, picking up my pencil and setting it gently on the table. “I want to help,” he said quietly, extending his hand again. “I can help, Sam.” </p><p>Looking at him curiously, I sighed, too weary to argue with the strange boy- if he thought he could help me, I wasn't in the mood to try and stop him. “Where are we going, Cole?”</p><p>“To make you better,” he said seriously. “Most can’t follow me, but you can.” </p><p>Closing my eyes, I ignored his cryptic words and focused on the boy. It was a strange sensation, following someone as they moved through the fade- his signature was like smoke, never turning solid until we arrived, and the first thing I noticed was the smell of dampness and wetness. My eyes widened as I whirled around, and when I realized where I was my leg started to give out, sending me tumbling toward the ground. Just as I was sure I was going to be picking myself off a pile of rocks, I felt a pair of warm, strong arms holding me steady.</p><p>“It looks like our roles are reversed now.” Surprised, I looked up, finding myself face-to-face with Anders. “We've got to stop meeting like this, Sam," the mage said quietly. "Thanks for bringing her, Cole." I looked at him agape, but Anders ignored it. "You're going to catch flies if you keep your mouth like that- have a seat, Sam.”<br/>
 <br/>
Anders guided me to the bed, and I could feel him channeling his magic. When he reached out to me, I sucked in a breath- his energy was different from Lana’s, or even Solas’s. His magic was powerful, so much stronger than anything I’d ever come across before. “What are you doing,” I asked warily, looking around for Cole, who was standing in the corner of the room and watching us, not saying a word. “You hate me, Anders- why are you helping me?” </p><p>“Because your husband saved me once.” He placed his hand just above my leg, and I could feel a warmth spreading throughout my body. Whereas Solas and Lana’s healing magic felt cool and refreshing, his was like sinking inside a warm bathtub- I felt like I had no bones as he laid me on their makeshift bed, running his hands up and down my body. "And you stopped the voices in my head," he replied. "You don't like me, but you did it anyway. You saved me and Hawke that day."</p><p>As the energy poured through my aching leg, I gasped- for this first time in weeks, I was finally not either in pain or surrounded in the haze of drugs. Suddenly, I felt a tightness in my knee, and I let out a whimper, unconsciously clutching at Anders's arm. But, instead of moving away or giving me the scowl that always crossed his face, Anders gave me a look that I’d only seen him wear when Hawke was around. “And you sacrificed yourself so he could come home to me,” he replied, moving his hands up and sending the warming light into my hands. “You’ve saved everyone but you didn’t ask for anything,” he said gently, resting his hands on the side of my head and sending that wonderful sensation in my head. “This was the least I could do for you.”</p><p>“Why is your magic different?” I slurred, trying hard not to fall asleep. “It feels… warm, pure… it feels like home.” </p><p>“That's because when I’m not destroying buildings, I’m a damn good healer,” he replied, still running his hands over me. I started to protest, but he rested a hand on my numb arm. “Sleep, Sam… this is probably going to take a while. I’ve called Hawke, and Cole is going to stay with us until your cousin gets here,” Anders smiled at me gently, easing me back down on the makeshift bed. “I promise, nothing is going to happen to you- I owe you too much.”</p><p>“You don’t owe me anything,” I murmured, feeling the undertow of sleep and exhaustion dragging me under. “It was the right thing to do.”</p><p>“Just because it’s the right thing to do doesn’t mean people always do it.” Anders smiled, resting a hand on mine. “So yes, I do owe you this… and a whole lot more."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Even though Varric had grown decidedly less taciturn as the days went on, Lana was quite ready to be back at Skyhold already. Though the not-so-secretive canoodling of Bull and Dorian had proved quite entertaining, she was ready to get back to her family already. Cass was still lost in her thoughts and reeling from the events, but Hawke had done his best to fill the time, nattering along about nothing in an effort to fill the silence. </p><p>After a few moments, Lana looked over at her cousin, studying his warm face with contentment. “You know, I’m glad I got the chance to know you, Hawke.”</p><p>He gave her a smirk as he settled back in his saddle, looking less like the Champion of Kirkwall and more like the effusive rogue who teased everyone mercilessly. “Is my darling cousin feeling nostalgic now that I have to leave? What, are you finally realizing that my presence lights up your days and nights? Will I finally be getting the respect I deserve just as I have to take my leave from you dour lot?”</p><p>She smiled at her cousin, knowing what the outcome could've been and thankful that he was still with them. “You don’t have to leave, you know- someone else could go to Weishaupt and tell the Wardens what happened." Lana gave him a pleading look, noticing the slight tremble in his lips when she grabbed his hand. "You could stay with us, Hawke.”</p><p>“Pssh, enough daydreams,” he said dismissively, looking away from her for a second. “You and I both know that the only ones they’d listen to are you, myself, and that dashing husband of yours. And since you’re stopping an evil magister from taking over the world in your spare time, I think that counts you out.” Then Hawke smiled at Lana conspiratorially, poking her in the side and making her squeal as she struggled to stay on her horse. “And since I know there’s absolutely no way you’re sending that wonderful specimen of a husband into the clutches of the order, it falls on me to be the responsible one… again.” </p><p>Lana laughed, shaking her head at the man. He looked so much lighter now, and she could see why Sam had fallen under his influence all those years ago- Hawke was a presence, drawing people into his orbit wherever he went. “I’m going to miss you,” she admitted. “I feel like you’re leaving just as I’ve gotten to know you.”</p><p>“We’re family,” he replied, resting a hand on her shoulder. “And as Sam has taught us, time and distance won't change that.” He straightened up, giving her a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I expect great things from you, dear cousin- we have a family name to uphold, after all.” </p><p>“But of course,” Lana replied, giving him a wobbly smile of her own before she turned away, surreptitiously wiping her eyes. “When are you leaving?”</p><p>“As soon as we return,” he admitted. “I was waiting for Sparrow to come around before I left- if I didn’t seek her out before my exit, I’m sure she’d have someone flay me alive this time.” She started to laugh in agreement, but suddenly Lana could feel magic in the air. Curious about the cause, her eyes widened and she turned to the rogue, who put up a hand in apology. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly, but I require your assistance, Lana- can our contingent head back without us?” </p><p>She nodded, then Hawke urged his horse forward, making his way to up to Varric. She’d seen that look before- it was the same one when Ali or Cullen got a message from Sam. However, the magic she noticed didn’t smell the same- it was rough and metallic, yet it carried a hint of sweetness that left her wistful for her family at home. <em>He’s got a token,</em> she thought. <em>But it’s not connected to Sam- curious.</em></p><p>When he returned and gestured for her to follow him, Lana waited until they were out of earshot of the others before she spoke with her cousin again. “You have a charm,” she said quietly. “Who is it connected to?”</p><p>Hawke didn’t answer her- instead, he chose to ride along the trail in silence, leaving Lana alone with her thoughts. After they came to a slightly hidden path he sighed, tying his horse to a nearby tree once they were hidden from view. She mirrored his movements and leaned against a tree, waiting for him to answer before continuing.  Hawke looked as if he wanted to ignore the question, but her eyes followed him unflinchingly until he let out a sigh, resting on a nearby log. “It’s Anders,” he admitted. </p><p>“And Sam made you a charm?” She found it hard to believe that her sister would agree to anything related to the apostate mage, but she knew full well that there was no true normal whenever Sam was involved. “That’s surprising.”</p><p>“Agreed,” Hawke said, holding his head in his hands. “Even more surprising is the fact that he’s with her right now.” He looked over at Lana, who’s eyes had opened so wide that she was sure they were about to pop out of their sockets. “Cole took her to him.”</p><p>“Why?” Lana’s mind was racing a mile a minute, trying to figure out a single reason for Sam to do such a thing and not coming up with a plausible answer. “What did he hope to accomplish with that?”</p><p>Hawke sighed, rising from his position and reaching for her hand. “I’m thinking it’s going to be better if I show you,” he said quietly, guiding her through the trees. “This way, please.”</p><p>She nodded, unable to form proper words and wondering if there was any way to get ahold of her other family members in case this went terribly. Last she’d seen Sam, she was practically comatose- how was she in the woods with Anders, of all people? Forcing herself to remain calm, she trudged through the still forest, being sure to take note of where they were in case she needed to make a quick getaway with her sister. </p><p>When they entered the cave and her eyes adjusted to the dim light, Lana let out a gasp, putting her hand to her mouth. In the middle of the room was Sam, fast asleep on the bed and looking completely relaxed as her skin hummed with an ethereal glow. She scanned the room and noticed Cole was standing in the corner, watching carefully as Anders bathed Sam in a golden light. The mage was focused on his duties and didn't look up when they entered, stopping only to take a dose of lyrium before resuming his work. “What in the Maker is going on?” Lana whispered, grabbing Hawke’s hand. “What is he doing?” </p><p>“Healing her,” Hawke whispered. “Anders is a spirit healer, one of the best I’ve ever seen.” His eyes twitched with mirth as he squeezed her hand, keeping her from running over to them. “I suppose he’d have to be, considering he’s fused to Justice. Looks like the spirit approved of what she did,” he said softly. “I don’t think he’d let him use that much power otherwise.” He turned to Lana, his eyes pleading with her to understand. “He’s not hurting her, I promise.” </p><p>Trying to reconcile the fear in her heart with her cousin’s words, she glanced up at Cole, who gave Lana a soft smile before returning his attention to Sam and Anders. Knowing that the spirit boy would never willingly allow something to happen to her sister, she nodded. “I trust you,” she replied, her attention focused solely on the sleeping girl. “And if this works, you and your love will have my eternal gratitude, cousin.” </p><p>“We don’t need it,” he murmured, guiding Lana to a nearby chair and smiling as the young man left the room, leaving them alone with Anders and Sam. “Knowing that I have the love of my life by my side and the support of my family is reward enough, Lana… as long as I have that, then I require nothing more from either of you."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Man... I am absolutely GUTTED that I have to send Hawke on his way- I love the way he interacts with everyone, and I'm so glad he was finally accepted as a part of Team Mage!</p><p>Also, can you believe we're down to the final 9 chapters now? *Sniff* Say it ain't so!</p>
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<a name="section0047"><h2>47. Fact vs Fiction</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The team sets their plan for dealing with Blackwall in motion; Hawke gets dragged on one last mission</p>
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<hr/><p>“Welcome back to the land of the living,” Hawke said casually as I opened my eyes, groggy from my sudden nap. “You know, you are dreadful for my schedule,” he remarked, glancing casually at his nails. “I was supposed to be gone hours ago.” </p><p>I carefully propped myself up to a sitting position, surprised to find myself back in my room with the rogue sitting on the side of my bed. “How did I get back here?” </p><p>Hawke raised a hand. “That would be me,” he said cheerfully. “How are you feeling?”</p><p>“That’s actually a really good question,” I said thoughtfully. Closing my eyes, I flexed my fingers, noting that for the first time in ages nothing felt stiff or foreign- I could move. “Whoa,” I breathed, daring to open my eyes and gasping when I looked at my arms. “My scars are gone!” </p><p>“Anders does good work,” Hawke said with a laugh, leaning over and placing a kiss on my head. “Couldn’t leave town with you all battered and bruised- they’d never invite me back if I did.” </p><p>Frowning, I grabbed his wrist, marveling at how strong I felt. “Leaving? What do you mean? We still have a crazy birdman to take down, remember?”</p><p>“I think you two have it handled,” he said gently, scooting up and pulling me close to him. “Besides, someone needs to go and tell Weishaupt what those naughty children of theirs were up to out here- figured it would be best left to a professional such as myself, seeing as how I’ve got first-hand knowledge and all.” </p><p>“I don’t want you to go,” I admitted, hugging him around his waist and burying my face in his chest. “I just started liking you again- it’s not fair.” </p><p>“Told you that you should’ve forgiven me earlier,” he chided, hugging me back. “But at least I didn’t leave without saying goodbye this time, right?”</p><p>“I guess,” I mumbled. “Still doesn’t change the fact that you’re leaving, jerk.” </p><p>“Oh, <em>do</em> stop being a brat,” Hawke said gently, kissing the top of my head. “You and I both know that I’m only a thought away now that you and Anders have an uneasy truce going. And to think, all it took was each of you saving the other’s life to get you to stop sniping at each other.” </p><p>“Guess I should’ve blown myself up earlier,” I teased, earning a pinch in the side from my cousin. “But hey, better late than never, right?”</p><p>“I don’t think we can handle any more excitement of that sort, Sparrow,” he replied, slowly untangling himself from me and rising from the bed. “However, you’ve been asleep for a minute- I’m sure everyone is going to be interested to see the new and improved Sam, don’t you think?” </p><p> “Guess so,” I sighed, wrapping my arms around myself. Even though the scars were gone, I still felt awkward and uncomfortable in my skin. “Did they tell you what happened in there?” </p><p>Hawke shook his head, leaning against the wall. “No, but it’s not for a lack of trying- everyone has been keeping mum.” He walked over to the wardrobe, plucking a purple dress off the hanger and setting it on the bed. “Care to talk about it while you get dressed? I don’t think your strange clothes are what you want to make your debut in.”</p><p>I just bit my lip, twirling my short hair around my fingers. “I think my owls are the least of my problems, Hawke- I look a mess and I don’t think a dress is gonna fix it.” </p><p>He just scoffed. “Seriously? Are you determined to keep me here even longer?” Shaking his head, he grabbed my hairbrush and some pins from my container on the dresser. “Sit,” he commanded, directing me to the chair. “You're lucky I learned to do this for Bethany, you spoiled girl- I’m not about to let you tarnish my glorious exit by letting you leave this room looking wretched.”</p><p>For the first time since I woke up, I laughed. “And we can’t have that, now can we?” Smiling up at him while he brandished a brush like a weapon, I sat in the chair and folded my hands in my lap. “Ok, Hawke…time to show me what you’ve got.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Ali was heading back from the training grounds when he noticed two familiar faces watching him from a nearby fence. “This is a surprise- to what do I owe this visit?”</p><p>“Cuz you been hidin’ away like you forgot about all us little people,” Sera said with a cheeky grin. “But FancyPants n’ I ain’t gonna take that shite lyin’ down tho, right?” </p><p>“Not put in the most elegant way,” Dorian said with a smile, “but the sentiment stands- Sera has, quite rightly, pointed out that you’ve had the loveliest stick up your posterior- we’re angling to take it out.” </p><p>Ali raised an eyebrow, then smirked as he folded his arms. “My dear Dorian, isn’t that Bull’s job?” </p><p>Sera burst out laughing and Dorian groaned, smacking him lightly on the arm. “Ugh, I find myself missing your sister more and more by the day.” Then he paused, putting a hand on his hip. “Speaking of that woman, do you know where she is? We stopped by her quarters, but alas, no one was there.” </p><p>“Odd- she was supposed to be there,” Ali said, his lips twitching with concern. “Let me see if I can find her.” He reached out for her with his charm, but he got no response and his expression faltered. “Definitely odd.” </p><p>“Wut? Nothin’ from Sam on your weird magicky thing?” Sera looked back and forth between the two of them. “Should we get Curly-Wurly up in arms and have him toss the place?” A wicked grin spread across her face and she rubbed her hands together. “Might be fun, that.” </p><p>“I don’t rightly know,” Ali admitted as they walked through the gardens. “That girl is going to be the death of me, I swear it.”</p><p>Suddenly, Dorian snapped his head up, then let out a loud laugh as he tapped Ali on the shoulder. “Well, that certainly is a surprise- leave it to that one to make an entrance.”</p><p>Turning in the direction Dorian was facing, Ali blinked in disbelief as he watched Sam stride toward them, exuding an air of confidence and poise he’d rarely seen from the girl. She wearing a long sleeveless purple dress, showing her now-smooth tanned arms, and her short hair was braided away from her face and pinned back. In addition, she’d put on enough of her old makeup that he was reminded him of how she’d appeared at the Winter Palace, and he felt his jaw drop with shock at the sight. “Sparrow?” Ali stammered, “is that you?”</p><p>“In the non-roasted flesh,” she said with a grin, giving him a slight twirl. “Hawke fixed me up before he left… literally.” She looked at her friends shyly, then dropped her gaze. “How do I look, guys? Is it weird?” </p><p>Ali just bit his lip, bringing his fist to his mouth, and Dorian walked around, carefully looking her over. “Not bad,” the mage mused. “I daresay you look rather… regal, all things considered.” </p><p>“Yeah, you look like you n’ FancyPants could have yourself a posh date, if you had the right parts,” Sera said, snickering at Dorian’s glare. “Curly Wurly’s gonna flip a stack when he gets an eye on ya. Who’s in for ploppin’ her in his trainin’ n’watchin’ him plant one on the ground?”</p><p>“Please count me in for that,” Ali replied, looking at his sister. “You look wonderful, Sparrow- how do you feel? And how did Hawke pull this off?” </p><p>“He got Anders to heal me,” Sam admitted. “Then he told me I couldn’t go out looking grubby on my first day back, so he put me in this getup before he took off.” She played with the hem of her dress, revealing a pair of soft-looking purple sandals. “Now that I no longer look like I belong in the burn ward, I guess I should get back to advising, huh?” Ali chuckled and took her arm, guiding her to a bench in the gardens. “Seems like we got some warden business to finish up, don’t we?” </p><p>“Oi, you mean that bit about Beardy being a lyin’ sack of it?” Sera perched on the back of the bench, bending over to smirk at them. “Wut, you gonna do your weird snappy thing with Quizzy and fry him up or something’?”</p><p>Sam looked horrified. “God no,” she exclaimed. “I’m trying to save his ass, not fry it.” </p><p>“Good,” Sera said with a huff, leaning over too far and toppling to the ground. Shaking herself off, she beamed up at Sam. “Cuz’ I like him- hate to see you lot go at ‘em for it.”</p><p>“I can’t say I like him,” Sam replied, “but I can’t deny he’s done some good shit for us. If he’s still willing to help us out the right way, then I damn sure won’t say no to keeping him on.” She placed her elbows on her knees, then looked up at Ali. “Well, you’re the senior warden around here- you ready to call him on his bullshit so we can get this shit together?”</p><p>Ali smiled, happy to have her back with them. “Sure am. Call your sister and the Commander- I think it’s high time we had a chat with everyone's favorite fake warden."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>To say Cullen was surprised to see Sam when he walked into the War Room was an understatement. Seeing her sitting with her family, looking relaxed, carefree, and well almost made his heart stop, and he couldn’t control the joy that danced across his face. “Sam!" Cullen exclaimed. "How is this possible?”</p><p>Instead of answering right away, his wife gave him that smirk he loved and missed so much. “After all these years, you’re still asking me about what’s possible? If that's the case, then I guess I’m doing something wrong, then.” Sam stood up, ignoring the fact that Ali and Lana were watching them both with knowing expressions, and stood on her toes, wrapping her arms around his neck and giving him a deep kiss. “I’ve missed that, Metal Man.” </p><p>He ran his hand across the braids, tilting her chin up to his as he scooped her in his arms. “Would you like to show me just how much?”</p><p>Suddenly, a throat cleared from across the room, and the two of them snapped to attention. “Sorry to break this up,” Lana said wryly, "wait, that’s incorrect, I’m not sorry in the least, considering we have work to do.” She looked over at her sister with a knowing smile, then gestured to the seat across from her. “Seeing as how Leli and Josie have done so much to get this plan underway, do you mind keeping your clothes on a <em>bit</em> longer so we can handle this nasty little business with Blackwall?” </p><p>“Cockblock,” Sam teased, then squealed as her husband carried her to a seat. “Well, Cullen and Ali have to be the one to sit him down, and it can’t be in here,” Sam said thoughtfully as Cullen sat down, still cradling her in his arms. “If Lana or I say something, he’s gonna know something’s up and the man is gonna rabbit on us.” </p><p>“Maybe you should’ve been a little nicer to Blackwall, then,” Cullen teased, earning him a poke in the nose from her. “But I can see your point. Perhaps I can call him up to my offices? That should be fine- we can do it under the guise of a planning meeting.” </p><p>“On second thought,” Sam said, staring at her brother, “It has to be you, Cullen- we all know that Ali can’t lie to save his life.” Alistair glared at Sam, and she stuck her tongue out at him before continuing. “Go and bring him up, would you?”</p><p>“What if I want to stay here with you,” Cullen replied, nuzzling her neck and marveling at how whole she was. Gone were the scars, the darkness under eyes, the tremors in her hands- now, only it was only the Sam he’d always known, and though he would have had her no matter what her condition, he was happy to see her happy and whole again. “I’ve been through a lot too, you know.” </p><p>“Oh for the love of the Maker,” Ali groaned, earning himself a thwack on the shoulder from Lana. “I’ll do it!” When everyone stared at him, Ali scowled. “What? I can easily say ‘the Commander wants to speak with us, but for the life of me I don’t know why’. That’s not lying- so there!” He folded his arms and sank back in the seat, earning himself a kiss on the cheek from Lana and a soft clap from Sam, causing him to wad up a piece of paper and throw it at the girl.</p><p>“Oh get over yourself,” Sam retorted, stopping the ball as it traveled toward her, allowing Cullen to pluck it out of the air and deftly toss it back and hit the warden in the head. “You know you love me, Ali.” </p><p>“Damn right,” he said, draping his arm over Lana. “It’s good to have you back, Sparrow.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Varric and Hawke were preparing to leave the main hall when they heard agitated voices coming from Solas’s room. “Why isn’t it working?” Cole cried frantically. “I don’t want to be a demon!” </p><p>Surprised, Varric looked over at Hawke, who’s expression grew taut as he gestured for them to follow the sounds of the conversation. “I do not know,” Solas replied. “The magic is simple enough- once I charged the amulet with my magic, you should have been protected against binding. Are you sure it isn’t working?”</p><p>Eyes widening, Varric entered the room. “Um, maybe it’s because our boy here isn’t a demon?” He turned to Cole, who was pacing frantically around the room. “You alright, kid?”</p><p>Solas sighed, looking over at Cole. “This amulet was supposed to protect spirits against being bound by any rival mages, but something seems to be interfering with the enchantment.”</p><p>Varric rolled his eyes, walking over to his friend and standing next to the agitated boy. “Seems to me that Cole is a lot more like a person… what do you think, Hawke?”</p><p>“I’m inclined to agree,” the rogue said, looking over at Cole. “If he is a spirit, he’s the most human one I’ve ever seen… and believe me, I’d know.” Hawke walked over to Cole, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Why are you so worried about this, lad?”</p><p>“I don’t want to be bound,” he cried, walking into the center of Solas’s room and pacing helplessly. “I don’t matter! Just lock away the parts of me that someone else could knot together to make me follow!”</p><p>Hawke leaned over to Varric, never taking his eyes off the boy. “Um, do you think we should step in? I love the boy like a tiny, if addled little brother, but right now he seems a little knackered- any suggestions?” </p><p>Varric shushed Hawke, then returned his attention to Cole. Before he could say another word, Solas had walked over, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder. “Just focus on the amulet, Cole. Tell me what you feel.” </p><p>Cole sighed, hanging his head. “Warm, soft blanket covering but it catches, tears. I'm the wrong shape, there’s something… there.”  He turned around, pointing off into the distance, his odd words sending a shiver down Varric's spine.</p><p>“Well of course this means an excursion,” Hawke grumbled. “Because we can never just have a clear answer for anything in this family, can we?” </p><p>“Probably not,” Varric agreed, staring at Cole intently. “You think you can get Sparrow to help you find who you’re looking for? Maybe she can tell you what’s wrong, kid.” </p><p>“Yes,” Cole said seriously. “I will ask her. She is here, whole and unbroken- she can listen, travel, decide. She will know… she can <em>see</em>.” His eyes fixed on Hawke, who had turned around and was starting to leave the room. “Will you go with me?” Cole asked, reaching for the rogue’s shoulder and causing him to stop in his tracks. “All of you?” </p><p>He wasn’t quite sure what Hawke was going to say- Varric knew the man cared about the strange boy, but he also knew he’d pretty much made up his mind to leave as soon as possible, wanting to take some time with Anders before delivering the news about the wardens. He’d tried his best to get Hawke and Anders to stay, but Hawke had politely refused, saying that he had more to do out there and that this was his cousin’s show- they could handle things from here. Varric just hoped that he’d be gentle about refusing Cole- the young man adored Hawke, and would probably be crushed if he didn’t go with them.</p><p>But to his relief, Varric realized his fears were unfounded. “Of course," Hawke replied, turning around and resting his hand on Cole’s shoulder. “After all you’ve done for me and my family, I’d be a terrible friend if I didn’t help.” He shot Varric a look and the dwarf immediately smiled- Hawke may have been a bit of a bastard, but he was never one to abandon his friends when they needed them. “You’re a member of the Kirkwall Crew- if you need help, all you ever have to do is ask, kid.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Cole said seriously. “But we should go and find Samantha- her meeting will be over soon.</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Lana was curious about Sam’s plan, but by now she knew enough not to question her sister’s methods. So, instead of being anxious, she sat on a seat across from Sam in Cullen’s office, casually eating the bag of M&amp;M’s Sam had tossed her and trying not to focus on the fact that a man in her inner circle was a wanted criminal. </p><p>“So,” she said carefully, “you want to give him the notice about Mornay, and that’s it? Seems anti-climactic to me- why all this pomp if that’s what we’re to do?” </p><p>“Because,” Sam replied, leaning over and taking some candy out of the bag, “if we do that in front of him, we allow him to confess. I can see what his choice is going to be right away, and we can get started on resolving this shit. I don’t want him running off and doing something stupid if we can help it- I got enough fucking problems.” She looked over at Cullen, who hadn’t let her out of his lap since they’d arrived, then laughed as she kissed him on the nose. “Um, you do realize that you’re going to have to go back to Commander mode, which means not making out with me every few seconds.”</p><p>Cullen sighed, leaning his head on her shoulder. “I abdicate my role, then.” He placed a kiss on his wife's neck, earning him a giggle from Lana. “From now on, Ali can be the commander, and I can sit here with my wife- problem solved.”</p><p>“Request denied, Commander,” Lana said with a grin, tossing a piece of candy at Cullen and hitting him in the forehead. “I still need you for a tiny bit longer… at least until we wrap up this nasty evil magister business. After that, you may abdicate to your little heart’s content.” </p><p>Cullen gave her a mock scowl, then buried his face in Sam’s shoulder again. “You’re an absolute spoilsport, Lana- tell me how you're related to this wonderful woman again?” </p><p>Sam just laughed, popping a piece of candy in her mouth before standing up and smoothing out her dress. “Time for me to get up and put my game face on- they’re coming. You ready, Lana Banana?” </p><p>She nodded, standing up so Sam could have her seat and taking the missive Leli had given them. “I am.” She looked around the room, surprised at the speed in which her sister and brother-in-law had gone from loving couple to military advisors, their faces now unreadable as Ali and Blackwall entered the room. "Greetings, you two- have a seat, please."</p><p>At their approach, Cullen stood up, his arms folded behind his back. “Blackwall, Alistair,” he said, gesturing to the two men. “I’d like to talk to you.” He handed Blackwall the rolled-up missive, his expression giving nothing away. “The empress has asked us for our opinion on this matter before they carry out their sentence- considering we are lacking conscripts right now, she wondered if we might be able to use this man.” His amber eyes focused on Blackwall, who was still as a stone while he read the note. “Any thoughts on him? After all, you three are the most senior wardens in the area right now.”</p><p>Ali frowned. “Not all survive the joining,” he said crossly, folding his arms. “Conscripting him doesn’t necessarily mean we're sparing the man, Cullen.” </p><p>Lana nodded, shooting a glance at Sam. <em>What’s he thinking?</em> “I’d have to agree. Honestly, it may be kinder to let the poor man swing on the noose.” </p><p><em>He’s conflicted,</em> she replied, not making a move from her position in the corner. <em>I see a lot of decisions, but nothing is settling yet. </em></p><p><em>Ah</em>.”We don’t have time for this,” Lana said with an air of finality. “I’ve already saved the empress, I do not need to get involved in her petty affairs- let them deal with it. Ali, Blackwall, you are needed here with the wardens- I am sorry, but Mornay will be left to his fate.”  She stood up, looking over the room and feeling a slight bit of pride when she noticed the corners of Sam’s mouth turning up in a smile. Placing an apologetic smile on her face, she turned to Blackwall. “Had I known that this was what the commander wanted, I wouldn’t have called you from your duties,” she said politely. </p><p>“Aye, it’s no trouble,” Blackwall replied, offering her a slight bow. “By your leave, Inquisitor… Commander.” </p><p>Cullen dismissed the man, who began to scuttle out of the commander’s quarters at a rapid clip. Once Sam had assured them that he was out of earshot, the girl turned to the others in the room. “Well, that’s your cue, guys- he’s about to go play hero.” She looked Lana up and down, giving her an approving nod. “Good work, Lana Banana- being a curt bitch sold it for him.” Lana gave her sister an exasperated look, but Sam just smiled. “Good thing Blackwall doesn’t know you as well as we do.” </p><p>“I suppose.” Lana looked at Cullen, who was staring at the door with a faraway look on his face. “Cullen, is there something wrong?” </p><p>“Just thinking.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair and frowning at his wife. “You know what the worst part of this whole plan is?”</p><p>Sam just raised an eyebrow. “What, that we have to coordinate a prison transfer for a man who’s been lying to us the entire time we’ve known him?”</p><p>“No,” Cullen replied wearily. “It’s the fact that I have to go back to Orlais.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Glancing over at my weird traveling party, I wondered just what the hell had been going on around here since I was incapacitated. I hadn't planned on going anywhere, but after the meeting with Blackwall, I found Hawke and Cole standing outside my door. When I pressed them on their tactics, I found out they were waiting to ambush me so I could help Cole find something he was looking for. I was tempted to tell them all that I wasn’t a fucking magical Lojack, but Cole had helped me, so I decided to try anyway. One weird vision and a hell of a headache later, I found myself accompanying the strange crew of Hawke, Varric, Cole, and Solas to Redcliffe while Lana and Cullen made plans to go to Orlais. </p><p>“What happens when he finds what he’s looking for,” I whispered to Varric as we approached the town. “You guys got a secret plan I don’t know about?”</p><p>“He just asked us to come,” Varric replied keeping a watchful eye on the intent-looking young man striding ahead of us, “so I came. It seemed important to him.” </p><p>I nodded, looking up as a man appeared at the gates, stopping us as we prepared to enter the town. “Judging from the intensity in his head, I’d say so. He’s-“</p><p>Before I could finish that sentence, Cole had disappeared, reappearing in front of the man and snarling as he clamped his hand around the man's throat. “YOU! You killed me!”</p><p>The man looked up at Cole, his expression a mix of surprise and terror as he squirmed under Cole's unusually strong grip. “I… I don’t even know you!”</p><p>“You locked me in the dungeon in the Spire and you forgot!” Cole screamed, brandishing a dagger and aiming it at the man, spittle flying out of his mouth and showering the man cowering beneath him. "I died in the dark!"</p><p>“Holy shit,” I said, taking off at a run with the others and trying to make it to the two men before Cole choked the life out of the guy. “Cole, stop!” I screamed. "You gotta let him go!"</p><p> “Just take it easy,” Varric said as he raced over to the boy, pulling his hands off the man's neck and dragging Cole away. The man, while extremely confused, was no fool- he saw his opening and took it, running off as fast as his feet would carry him. “Talk to me, kid,” Varric said, turning to Cole and trying to get the boy to focus on him instead of burning holes in the back of the young man with his eyes. "What's going on with you?" </p><p>Cole whirled on the dwarf, anger blazing in his strange blue eyes. “He <em>killed</em> me! That’s why it doesn’t work,” he howled with frustration. “He killed me and I <em>have</em> to kill him!”</p><p>I raised an eyebrow and looked at Hawke, confused as all get out at the scene unfolding in front of me. “Ok, so we’ve stepped up to random murder now… good to know.” Trying to wrap my brain around what was even crazier than the holidays with my family, I stepped over to Cole, Hawke walking closely at my side. “Cole,” I said gently, “Why do you think you have to kill him?”</p><p>“I already <em>told</em> you!” Cole yelled. trying to break away from Varric's grip. “Because he killed me!” </p><p>Solas, finally emerging from his cocoon of indifference, stepped over to us and stood behind the boy. “Cole,” he said in that tone of voice you hear from someone trying patiently to tell someone it’s not a good idea to play in oncoming traffic, “that man can’t have killed you- you are a spirit.” He paused as Cole looked down, the boy's body still shaking with rage. “You have not even possessed a body.” </p><p>Cole remained silent for a moment, and we all just looked at each other, not knowing what to say.  Suddenly, Cole spoke, and it wasn’t that voice where he was mirroring someone’s thoughts- this one was his own. “A broken body, bloody, banked on the stone cell, guts gripping in the dark dank… a captured apostate.”</p><p>The haunting words made my stomach twist in knots. “Oh no,” I whispered, starting to walk toward the boy but being stopped with a firm hand by Hawke. “This is his story, guys- is that really what happened, Cole?” </p><p>Varric looked at Cole for a moment, then looked away as the boy continued, unabated. “They threw him in the dungeon in the spire at Val Royeaux. They <em>forgot</em> about him,” Cole said, his voice rising in intensity. “He starved to <em>death!”</em></p><p>Hawke’s fists clenched at his side as he scanned the area for the man Cole had seen earlier. “That man did that to you?” The rogue gritted his teeth and glared at the man scurrying away. "Fuck, I'd want to murder him too!"</p><p>“I came through to help… but I couldn’t.” Cole glanced over at Hawke, then looked at me. “So I became him. She knows,” he said, pointing at me. “She’s <em>always</em> known.” </p><p>His words sent a shiver down my spine, leaving me confused as to why he would he say something like that- I had no inkling of his story, and I damn sure didn’t know he was the equivalent of a living corpse. “Cole,” I said gently, “I’m sorry, but I never knew that… if I did, I would have helped- you know that.” </p><p>“Hmm.” Varric paused, looking around as he put some of the pieces together. “If Cole was an apostate, then that guy must’ve been a Templar. Probably out here buying lyrium.” </p><p>Judging from the look on Cole’s face, he obviously had no fucks left to give about the man’s drug habit. “Let. Me. <em>Kill</em>. Him,” he growled. “I need to.”</p><p>Before we could say a word, Cole began to storm off, and I instantly froze him before he could head over to the freaked-out drug addict. Staring at Cole’s frozen form, Hawke let out a low whistle. “Well, that was unexpected,” he drawled. “Does anyone have any bright ideas that don’t involve our friend murdering the man we just met?” </p><p>“I’m partial to him not killing the guy too,” Varric agreed, looking over at Cole and shaking his head. “He’s got to get past this somehow.” He turned back to us, then shook his head. “Any ideas?” </p><p>I threw up my hands, slightly backing away. “Um, wrong sister- not the negotiator of the crew. Someone else might want to handle this one," I said quickly. "I’m just here to stop people before the stabbing starts.” </p><p>Solas glanced over at Cole, then looked at me. “Cole is a spirit,” he said firmly. “The death of the real Cole wounded him, prevented him from his purpose.” He turned his attention back to the frozen young man. “To regain that part of himself, he must forgive.” </p><p>Hawke scoffed. “I beg to differ- I’m not too into forgiving the folks who try to kill me, much less the ones that <em>succeed</em>.” He crossed his arms, then looked Solas up and down. “I vote we come up with a new plan, Solas.” </p><p>“Cole is <em>not</em> like you,” Solas said irritably. “A spirit can forgive. And he should.” He looked over at Cole's frozen figure again, then back to Hawke. “He should not allow this to change him.” </p><p>Something the boy said nagged at me and when I realized what it was, I bit my lip. “Actually,” I said carefully, “I think that’s <em>exactly</em> what needs to happen.” Everyone’s eyes shifted to me, and I shifted nervously. “When he told me I knew, I thought he meant I knew about his death, but now I don’t think that was it,” I replied. “I feel like he was talking about something else.” </p><p>Solas turned to me and gave me a curious look, rocking back on his heels. “Go on, Samantha.” </p><p>I started to say something, but I felt an icy grip on my wrist, making me shiver. “I dunno… It just feels like that meant <em>more</em>, you know,” I turned to the dwarf, trying to gather my swirling thoughts. “Varric, got any ideas? Maybe listening to you will shake something loose,” I said sheepishly, rubbing at my chilled wrist. “Guess I’m still not a hundred percent."</p><p>Varric eyed me with concern for a moment before continuing. “Cole isn’t a spirit anymore, Solas,” he said with conviction. “The boy made himself human, and humans change- they get hurt and they heal.” He jerked a thumb at me and Hawke. “Hell, look at these two- they’re the poster children for personal growth. You wouldn’t say they’re the same people you’ve seen all this time, would you?”</p><p>Solas frowned. “No, but that’s beside the point- they are human, and Cole is <em>not!</em> What you propose goes against the very <em>essence</em> of what he is!” </p><p>At that, I knew I had to speak up- I cleared my throat and turned to my companions. “He’s not really a spirit,” I said, watching as the faces of my companions changed, their expressions ranging from satisfaction to irritation. “That much I’m sure of… Cole is something else, guys.”</p><p>“Really?” Solas sneered. “How can you be so sure, Samantha? Did your time unconscious teach you the workings of the spirit world?”</p><p>“No, Solas,” I replied, ignoring the ice in his tone. “You did.” I looked at him sadly and the irritation melted from his face. “When you introduced me to Wisdom, I felt her energy. Cole’s is similar, but it’s definitely not the same- if I'm honest, he feels more like me."</p><p>That icy sensation washed over me again, but Varric jumped in before I could think about it. “That’s because he made himself human when he left the fade,” Varric pointed out. “To survive this, he needs to work it out as a person."</p><p>“Great,” I grumbled. “We’re all sitting around here twiddling our thumbs while the Cinnamon Bun goes through the murderous edition of puberty.” I scowled at Cole, then turned to Varric. "What do you propose we do, just pull up a chair and watch the show?"</p><p>"Though she could have said it better, I'm with Sam," Hawke replied, rolling his eyes at me before returning his attention to Varric and Solas. “This whole story is all well and good, but what in the Maker is going on here? I fear I have too much philosophical debate and nowhere near enough facts to do anything except cart the lovely boy back home, which would do no good as he’d simply return here and finish the job later.” He folded his arms irritably. “Solas, since you seem to know so damn much, would you mind shedding some light on this situation?” </p><p>Solas looked thoughtful for a moment. “It seems as if the real Cole was an apostate, captured by templars, and taken to the circle.”</p><p>“Well, there’s your first fucking problem right there,” I snorted, throwing my hands up in the air. “I wouldn’t wish hanging with those fuckers on anyone.”</p><p>Varric chuckled. “And we all know that they aren’t known for their gentle and loving nature.” He cocked an eyebrow at me and gave me an amused grin. “Though I thought you’d be a little more templar-inclined, Sparrow."</p><p>“I tend to find the exceptions to the rule,” I said with a grin. “But I also met Meredith, so I got a pretty good clue as to how shit can go ass up with that crew.” I turned to Solas. “I kinda got all that from the rumble that almost kicked off just then, but what I don’t get is why Cole would go to that young guy in the first place.”</p><p>“I believe Cole is a spirit of compassion,” he replied, eyeing me curiously. “It's rare, to be sure, but most likely the impending death and pain of the young man caught its attention, driving it to help. Unfortunately, compassion is a fragile spirit,” Solas said sadly. “When its efforts proved in vain, it seems its purpose was distorted.”</p><p>Hawke just rubbed his temples, looking between us and letting out a deep sigh. “Great, so our friend is a spirit in a dead mage’s body.” Solas groaned, but Hawke continued, unabated. “Knowing that, how do we tilt him back to the more living side of the spectrum? Believe me, I’ve got first-hand experience with these types of efforts- they don’t exactly end well.”</p><p>“He’s not dead,” I said quickly, grabbing Hawke’s hand. “Don’t ask me how I know, but he’s not a corpse.” I swallowed, realizing exactly how I knew but not wanting to share it with the group at large. Desperately, I looked at my cousin, wishing I could talk to him without words… </p><p>And then I smiled as pulled Hawke between the moments with me. </p><p>“We don’t have much time,” I said quickly, as Hawke looked around with wide eyes, seeing the landscape go still in front of him. “I’m not going to have too much power left after this. But I needed to tell you something... and it’s a family secret,” I said pointedly. </p><p>“Point made,” he said, glancing around at the frozen world. “What was so important that you had to drag me into this weirdness of yours, cousin?”</p><p>“Cole is like mom,” I said quickly. “That’s why he doesn’t feel strange to me… and <em>that’s</em> why he said  I would know.” Swallowing, I looked over at Hawke, who was staring at me in shock. “Which means <em>I'm</em> like him,” I said shakily. “Fuck! What does that even mean?”</p><p>“It means that you’ll be the one to know what to do,” he said firmly, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Knowing what you do, which would you choose? Would you want to be more spirit-like, or do you want to be more human?”</p><p>“Human,” I said quickly, rubbing my arms and remembering Alex’s words to me in the Between. “I don’t want to be a spirit,” I said quickly. “I’ve seen beings like that- they forget what’s important, and they’re too single-minded.”</p><p>“You talk as if you have experience with the other side,” Hawke said gently. “Is that the case?” </p><p>“Yeah,” I replied. “Dad’s world… it’s a mess,” I admitted. “Angels, demons, the works- you name it, it’s loose over there. Which is why I think I came out more like Mom.” He looked at me strangely, and I sighed. “Do you know the story of my name?” </p><p>"I'm afraid I don't," he replied, shaking his head. “You’ve never told me.” </p><p>“I’m named after my uncle and a family friend, but this friend… wasn’t always so easy to get along with,” I replied carefully. “When he first met my dad and uncle, he had the best of intentions, but because he didn’t understand people, he did things. Things that made others suffer,” I admitted. “When he had the chance to become human, he got better… he became more <em>real</em>, more understanding.” I pushed a hair out of my face that had escaped from the braid, then looked at Hawke pleadingly. “I think I’m supposed to help Cole do this, Hawke... I think Mom knew.” </p><p>“Then I support you,” he said quickly. “If you say helping our Cole obtain his humanity is the right call, then that’s what we’ll do.” Then he took notice of how I was twisting the hem of my shirt, and he frowned. “Something else is troubling you,” he noted, leaning closer even though no one else could hear us. “Care to share?"</p><p>“Well, yeah,” I admitted, biting my lip. “I’m getting the strangest feeling that I’m not supposed to share this stuff… every time I think about saying it, I get this screaming feeling in my gut that it’s wrong. But,” I told him, noticing his confused expression, “I don’t feel that way talking to you. Maybe it’s because you’re family,” I mused. “But either way, I don’t think I can talk about this out there.” </p><p>“Then you don’t have to,” Hawke replied. “I’ll make the case instead- everyone knows I’m quite convincing anyway, and I do have a reason to feel this way, after all.” He smiled at me, taking my hand in his. “But thank you for trusting me with this, Sam.” </p><p>“It’s like you told me back in Kirkwall,” I said, moving back to my previous position and preparing to restart time, “no matter how much we fight, you’re family, through and through.”</p>
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<a name="section0048"><h2>48. Snow isn't much better, Lana!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sam sends a letter about their visit to a little village; Ali and Blackwall have a talk while Sera and Cole discover that something is bothering Josie.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sam's second section is NSFW, so if you're like "Um, not right now," you can skip it and go to Cullen's.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“Cole,” I asked quietly as we made camp for the evening, “how are you doing?” The atmosphere in the campsite was strange, to say the least- against Solas’s wishes, Varric had reached out to the boy, offering him a shot at revenge. I tried to stop them, but Hawke blocked my path and told me to wait, forcing me to stand by and debate how I was going to tell Lana that Cole had just taken up murder for sport. Horrified, I started to protest, but it turned out he was right- surprisingly, Varric was able to talk Cole down, gently reminding him that revenge doesn’t make the pain go away. His words seemed to soothe the upset boy and he had calmed down, allowing us to leave the shaken Templar where he was, although I was pretty sure the man was going to need a new set of pants after his run-in with us. But while Cole appeared to be in a better place, Solas wasn’t. After that little exchange, the elf curtly informed us that we had ruined any chance of the amulet working- Varric simply countered that now with Cole being even more human, it was probably more likely that he couldn’t be bound, so the amulet was a moot point. Instead of responding, the elf just huffed, leaving us to ourselves for the evening and me extremely confused about the reason he was so upset.</p><p>Shaking these thoughts away for a bit, I looked over at the stoic young man and decided to see how he was handling the situation. “So." I said quietly, sitting down next to Cole, who was quietly staring off into the distance,  "how are you feeling, Cole? Are you ok with how things went today?"</p><p>Turning to me and offering a soft smile, Cole nodded. “I wanted to make him forget, but Varric said we needed to remember,” Cole answered, turning his face toward the sky. "It’s different now… they’ll remember me." His shoulders drooped, and the floppy hat slid over his big blue eyes. "I won’t be able to make them forget now."</p><p>“Nope… it’s part of being human,” I told him, then lowered my voice so only he could hear. “You knew the truth about me all along, huh?” </p><p>He titled his head, then nodded as he gave me a hesitant smile. “Since I first met you," he admitted. "You’re different… pushing, pulling, stretching the threads, bending them to your will. Less human now, but you are whole,” he remarked, sending a chill down my spine. “More like her and less like him.”</p><p>“I don’t know if that's a good thing, Cole,” I whispered. “I like being human... it helps me remember what's real... that <em>I'm</em> real.” </p><p>“You are,” he assured me, placing a slender hand on my leg. “Just more.” He turned away, then closed his eyes, his voice taking on that strange timbre that usually accompanied him giving voice to someone’s thoughts. “Anxious, scared of the wrong he’s done but trying to fix it, wouldn’t change it, needs to make sure she’s safe. Traveled through space and time, not out of duty, but devotion. Can't have what he loves, so he loves what he has. Doesn't trust so he watches- remains cold and distant, yet always stays close.” Wordlessly, I stared at the young man, but he simply smiled. “It seems you are truly loved, Samantha.” </p><p>“Cole,” I said warily, getting the sinking suspicion that he knew a lot more about what was going on than he was telling me. “What else do you know?”</p><p>“Enough,” he admitted, giving me an apologetic look. “But he says I can’t tell you.” </p><p class="p1">
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</p><hr/><p>As darkness stole over Skyhold, Ali was waiting in the barn for the man formerly known as Blackwall to return to his quarters. They had retrieved him from Orlais without incident, and true to her word, Lana had offered the man two choices- either be exiled for his crimes or be conscripted into the wardens upon Corypheus’s defeat. To no one’s surprise, Rainier chose the wardens, so instead of relaxing and sharing a drink in the tavern with his friend, Ali found himself sitting in the dark with Dog at his feet, irritably waiting for the warrior to return. </p><p>“I didn’t expect to see you tonight,” Rainier murmured, and even in the dim light, the surprise at seeing the senior warden was evident on his face. “What brings you here, Warden Alistair?” </p><p>Ali frowned at the perfunctory address. “You don’t get to do that,” he snapped, causing Dog to perk up his ears in alarm at the sharpness of his tone. “Do you know what damage you could’ve caused with your little ruse? Do you know the number of people that would be at Josie’s back if Lana and I weren’t around for requesting aid with those treaties?” He stood up, scowling at the man he’d once liked well enough. “Being a Grey Warden is about being something greater than yourself, and you sully the name like a child playing dress-up!”</p><p>"I understand," Rainer said quietly, not bothering to defend himself from Ali's verbal assault. “It may not mean much now, but I assure you, I was set to be a warden,” the man replied as he leaned against a post. He shifted a bit to get comfortable, and Ali noted that the man was careful to give him and Dog some space. “Warden Constable Blackwall recruited me when we were visiting a tavern in Churneau.” Alistair made a motion to acknowledge he'd heard him, so the false warden swallowed and continued. “When some men were getting fresh with one of the maids at the bar, I put a stop to it." He tilted his head toward Alistair, looking a bit lost in the memory. “I suppose that act was enough for him to see something in me.”</p><p>“So what happened?” Ali spat, trying to keep the anger out of his voice and clenching his hands together. “Why did you take his name yet not the oath?”</p><p>“It wasn’t for lack of interest,” Rainier answered. “On our way out Val Chevin, the Constable and I stopped by a Deep Roads entrance on the Storm Coast.” He looked away, and Ali could hear the distress in his voice when he spoke again. “Blackwall sent me to retrieve the Darkspawn blood for my joining, but we were ambushed... and I was careless,” the warrior said sadly. “One of the creatures attacked, and I miscalculated- I made an error that should have gotten me killed, but the Warden sacrificed himself… for me.” He chuckled mirthlessly. “And I became the reason the world lost a great man.” </p><p>“But that was not your fault!” Ali exclaimed, indignant despite his outrage at the situation. “Why wouldn’t you just tell someone what had occurred? You could have been inducted properly, and there would have been no need for you to lie to us!” </p><p>The false warden smiled good-naturedly. “If I had a lass like your sister with me on my travels, then I would have. But with Blackwall dead, I had no proof of his recruitment.” </p><p>At this revelation, Ali went still, somewhat understanding the man's plight- the wardens often took in criminals and outcasts, but with no way to verify his story, Rainier would’ve been looked at as nothing more than an opportunistic murderer. “I see,” he said finally, looking down at his hands before returning his attention to the warrior. “But you were free- why go through the trouble of taking his name? Why not run away and live out the rest of your days elsewhere?”</p><p>“Because Blackwall was a great man,” Rainier said. “He was what I wished I could be, and if the world was deprived of his greatness for the sake of a lesser man, then I had to aspire to be worthy of his sacrifice.” He gave Ali a wan smile, then sat down on a nearby stool. “I used his status and name to try and do good in honor of the Warden who saved my life, and if I had the chance to do it for the rest of my days, I still would never have done enough."</p><p>Ali sighed and rose to his feet- he'd come in here to rage at the man, but after speaking with him, he wasn't sure how to feel about the situation. As he was walking to the door, he stopped and turned to the man he realized no one had ever really known. “After all this,” Ali asked quietly, resting his arm against the door frame, "what should we call you?"</p><p>Rainier paused, thinking on the question. “If it’s not too much trouble," he replied, inching over to the wood and running his hand over the horse he'd been carving, "I think Blackwall would still serve me well. I almost see it as a title at this point, and I would still like to do good works in his name... if you’ll allow.”</p><p>“Once you join, you’ll do just as many under your name… if you survive,” Ali replied, turning away from the false warden. “And after all this time, I must say I hope you do.”</p><p>“I accepted the risks once,” Blackwall replied seriously. “And I accept them again. Thank you, Warden Alistair.”</p><p>Ali stopped but didn't turn around. “Whatever for?” </p><p>“For giving me the chance to prove I’m the man Blackwall saw all those years ago,” the warrior said quietly as Ali left the barn. "It's more than I deserve."</p><p>He didn't answer, not trusting himself to speak. But as he emerged into the chilled night with the sobering conversation resonating in his ears, Ali barely noticed Cullen waiting for him nearby. “Strange… that’s not your usual hangout,” Cullen said carefully, falling into step beside him. “Care to take a walk with me?”</p><p>Ali nodded, then looked at the Commander, trying to get a read on his motives. “Did Sparrow send you to spy on me?” </p><p>Cullen shook his head. “Lana warned me that you might need a chat- she noticed you looked out of sorts at the sentencing today.” The commander reached in his pocket, pulling out a knotted handkerchief and handing it to the warden. “Since Sam isn’t here, I thought this might help.” </p><p>Curious, Ali took the bundle and opening it, letting out a loud laugh when he realized Cullen had packed him some of Sam’s cookies. “You bastard,” he said, shaking his head and popping one of the treats in his mouth. “Your wife is going to murder you when she gets back, you know.” </p><p>The commander just smirked at him. “I’ve been married long enough that I know how to earn a little forgiveness now and again." Ali just stared at him, but Cullen shrugged. "Besides, I left the packaging in her bag- she’ll just replenish it when she returns.” When Ali chuckled, Cullen’s face settled into a more relaxed expression. “How are you feeling?”</p><p>“Conflicted,” Ali admitted. “I’ve heard his reasons, and to my dismay, they were valid ones. He didn’t mean to do wrong, but the Grey Wardens are not a game,” he spat. “What if he’d been with us in Denerim? That little lie of his could have cost us our lives! What if he tried to slay the archdemon? He might have gotten us killed!”</p><p>“If he failed,” Cullen replied, “then you and Lana would have done your duty. Just as you both have always done.” The commander placed a hand on Ali’s shoulder as they approached the castle, and the reassuring weight allowed the warden to settle a bit more. “And now, it’s done- all we can do is have faith that the future will yield better results, otherwise, this is all for naught.” Cullen looked at Ali, then turned his attention to the bridge, where the lights of torches were slowly approaching. “And I have given up too much for this to be fruitless."</p><p>Seeing the figures of his friends heading across the bridge, Ali sighed. “Before this is over, how many more times will we place our faith in the wrong person?” Ali asked wearily, looking over at his brother. “And when we do, what else is it going to cost us?” </p><p>Instead of replying, Cullen just stood there, his expression sympathetic as he leaned against the wall. “I only wish I had an answer to that question, Alistair.” </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“Do you have to leave?” Cullen asked, lacing his fingers in mine as we lay in bed, placing light kisses along my collarbone. “Don’t you want to stay here with your husband instead?”</p><p>“Who are you and what have you done with Cullen Rutherford,” I teased, running my hands up his exposed back and trying not to laugh at the fluttering sensations he was sending up my spine. “You keep doing that and I’m not going to want to get out of bed.” </p><p>“That’s the idea,” he replied as he slid my arms above my head and straddling me, his curly hair falling in my face and tickling my nose. “I knew you were one of the Inquisition’s top advisors for a reason,” he murmured, nipping my neck as he held my wrists down with one hand. “And I’ve missed you.” </p><p>“Lana is going to kill us if I’m late,” I moaned as he moved his head lower, his tongue tracing patterns along my chest. “We don’t have time for this, Metal Man.” </p><p>“But yet you aren’t stopping me,” he said before taking my nipple between his lips and making that small fire in the pit of my stomach began to burn. I could feel myself aching to stay in bed, and judging by the way his hand was sliding between my legs, he knew it too. “Besides, your sister can wait,” he whispered, running his finger along the wetness of my folds, gently flicking my the bundle of sensitive nerves and sending me into a frenzy. “It’s her own damn fault- she wouldn’t let me quit.” </p><p>I started to laugh, but then he grazed my nipple with his teeth, making me gasp instead. “I’m telling her you said that,” I rasped, throwing my head back against the pillow as he moved to the other side. “And I’m blaming this all on you.” </p><p>“It’ll be worth it,” Cullen replied, lining himself up and raising his head to give me that smirk I loved so much. “If she gets to take you away on a mission, the least she can do is give me this,” he murmured, slowly entering me, making my eyes widen for a moment at the sudden sensation of fullness. “Right now, I need my wife,” he whispered, threading his hand through my wild hair. “The rest of the world can wait, Samantha." </p><p>Unable to form proper words, I moaned, clutching at his perfectly muscled ass and doing my damndest to pull him deeper inside me. Knowing what I was doing Cullen smiled, rolling his hips and lowering his head to my ear. “Still want to get up?” He stopped moving and I whined, trying pulling him deeper but he wouldn’t budge. “I mean, I can stop if you like- I know you have to get going soon.” </p><p>“Goddamn it, you started this shit and you better finish it, you evil motherfucker,” I growled, slapping his ass with a loud smack. “Cause if you don’t this is the last time you’re gonna get this until-“ he started to move, and I felt my breath stutter. “Until-“</p><p>“Until when?” Cullen teased, slowly pulling himself away despite my desperate struggle to yank him closer. “Until the next time that I want you?” Without warning, he plunged back inside, making every thought I'd ever had fly straight out of my head. “Until the next time you undress for me?”  He pushed himself deeper, making me moan as he reached underneath us, cupping my ass to draw me closer to him. “Or until the next time that I feel you drenched and quivering for me?” He lowered his head as he stopped moving, gently nipping my earlobe. “I’m sorry, I must have missed your answer over your moans, love-  did you ever get the chance to finish your threat?” </p><p>“I hate you so much,” I grumbled, pulling his face to mine and kissing him deeply, biting his lip as I pulled away. “Remind me why I married you again?"</p><p>“Because I love you more than anything else in this world,” He leaned back then snaked his arms behind me, pulling me close to his chest without ever breaking contact. “And because you know I’d move heaven and earth to keep you safe.” He started moving again and I threw my arms around his neck, clinging to him for dear life as he thrust upward, sending me closer and closer to the edge from the new angle. “And because you know my life is empty without you in it.” </p><p>As we moved together, I began to feel that toe-curling sensation creeping up my body and I began to whimper, my walls squeezing him tightly and causing him to dig his fingers into my ass. “That’s it,” he groaned, his breath warm against my ear. “Let go, Sam…give yourself to me.” I tried to fight my impending climax, just so I wouldn’t give the bastard the satisfaction of knowing he had me dead to rights, but I couldn’t hold out- he thrust one more time and I saw stars, the orgasm rolling through my body as his followed right behind, leaving us both hot and sweaty as we dropped to the bed, still clinging to each other. </p><p>Cullen's face was red from exertion and pleasure as he smiled at me, the combination of the two making him look years younger and every bit of the man I fell in love with all those years ago. “Well,” he teased, nipping my ear, “aren't you glad you stayed?” </p><p>“More like I’m glad I stopped time twenty minutes ago,” I retorted, gently moving his sweaty curls away from his forehead. “You’re a menace, you know that?” </p><p>“Just hurry home,” he replied, pulling me close and kissing my nose. “I’m looking forward to having a proper reunion with you upon your return, dear wife.” </p><p>“I have no idea what I'm going to do with you,” I teased, slapping him on his arm as I got out the bed and headed to the washtub, shivering at the thought of the ice-cold water and wishing I had magic like Lana to heat it up properly. “You’re a mess, Cullen Rutherford.”</p><p>“But I’m yours,” he replied, propping himself up on his elbows and staring at me with adoration radiating from his eyes. “And you’d have it no other way.” </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Stabby,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I quit- please mail me my last paycheck and forward all my correspondence to any address that’s not in fucking Thedas, please and thank you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Banana lied to me- she said there were supposed to be hot springs nearby. However, I beg to differ- the only thing hot in this motherfucker was the goddamn fire we created when I nug roasted that motherfucking dragon. Ferdinand is still mad at me that I ended the fight in 3 seconds, but I hate this place and I wanted to go home, so fuck him sideways.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I take that back- that’s FancyPants job. Ferdinand can still go to hell though- it’s too goddamn cold out here to fuck around with them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I think Banana brought me out to this shitshow on purpose- she knew I wouldn’t have enough strength after to leave her ass here. I wanted to bounce as soon as we arrived, but it turns out the Dementors were growing that red kool-aid out here, and the landlord was straight offering up the tenants as human chia pets- not a good look. The 411 is that they’re going off the orders of Curly’s murderbot ex-roommate- don’t worry, we totally went office space on all the red shit we could find. Well, Banana, Ferdinand, AngryFace, and FancyPants did- I sat on the sidelines with a tiny flag and cheered while I had lunch. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Like, I’m legit not kidding- Banana is still up in my ass for that one. I tossed her a cookie, but I think I only pissed her off even more (she still ate it, though). On the plus side, I think we found some info on how to stop that asshat from leveling up- I’m sending it over with the letter. Maybe you can make sense of it, but I'm too pissed off to care about anything except getting the hell out of here right now. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>We also repo’d their crib- I was even wearing the required amount of flair when we did. Hope they had insurance on the place, cause it is TRASHED- don’t worry, we found a new missionary who specializes in fucking shit up, and we’re sending him back express mail. Ruffles, you also got a homie out here who’s willing to housesit for us- holla at ya boy for more details, because I am done with this fuckery- I just want to take my toys and go home.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If anyone needs me, I’ll be out here building a snowman and begging Elsa to back the hell off because enough is fucking enough- she needs to let this shit go. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Sparrow</em>
</p><p>—</p><p>Leliana snickered as looked over at Cullen, who was still trying to wrap his brain around the letter that Sam had sent. When his wife had told him that she’d found info on Samson- he’d asked her to tell him the details immediately. After going over the information with her, it seemed like Samson's armor was being strengthened with red lyrium. “Are you with us, Commander?” Leliana asked quietly. "Any ideas as to what some of this means?”</p><p>“Per the letter, the quarry was the Red Templar’s base,” Cullen said thoughtfully. “And based on the information from Lana and Sam, I think the key to defeating Samson is finding a way to break his armor.”</p><p>“How do we do that?” Josie asked curiously, tapping her quill against her chin. “I’m not an expert, but this seems like a problem, seeing as Sam and Lana cannot do their magic if he is protected by that substance, correct?”</p><p>Cullen nodded. “You’re right- if we wish to beat him, then we need a way to destroy that armor.” He looked over at the two women, mulling ideas over in his head, then brightened as a thought came to him. “Do you think Dagna might be able to help with this? Dwarves know more about lyrium than anyone else, and she’s a master of enchantments- maybe she could figure something out for us?”</p><p>Leliana nodded as she carefully folded the letter and put it away. “I don’t see why not- it’s certainly worth a try."</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“Psst, Ali!” Sera hissed as she leaped over a railing, scaring Alistair half to death as she pulling the warden to the cover of a nearby tree. “Guess what this weirdo just heard!” She poked at Cole, who was leaning against the trunk, his gaze somewhat far away. “Oi, Weirdo!" Sera snapped, punching the boy in the arm. When he turned to her and blinked, she scowled. "Pay attention, yeah? Tell this bloke the stuff you were mutterin’ like a nutter!” </p><p>Cole just stared at her for a moment, not saying a word- Ali wondered if he was debating how he felt about her rough treatment of him. If he was being honest, the warden was shocked that Sera was even willing to be in the same vicinity as the young man, but it seemed as if everyone was full of surprises lately. Soon, Cole turned his attention to Ali, staring at him with that slightly unnerving expression. “Worried, fears for her safety. The swish of skirts as she rushes past, too scared to trouble anyone. Writes furiously, checks everything, can find no way out so she decides to push through.” </p><p>Sera turned back to Ali, her arms crossed and a smug expression on her face. “Weird, right? I think he means Ruffles,” she said after a moment. “Who else we know that writes all day and is all ‘must be proper’ all the damn time?”</p><p>Ali looked between the two of them and found that he couldn’t argue with her logic- Josie had never said anything to anyone about having any issues. However, he realized it was more likely that she didn’t want to trouble anyone about her personal problems. “You have a point,” he agreed. “If it's as bad as Cole makes it sound, then it does seem remarkably like something Josie would keep to herself. But,” he said thoughtfully, “if she is in trouble, she needs help... whether she wants it or not.” He turned to the young man and nodded politely, receiving nothing but a blank stare in return. “Thank you for your help, Cole- I’ll go and talk to her.” </p><p>At that, the boy brightened considerably. “I’m glad to help, he said kindly, walking off toward the tavern and leaving Sera and Ali underneath the tree, pondering their next move with the frazzled advisor. Ali started to call after Cole and ask him to stay, but he decided it wasn’t worth the effort. Instead, he looked over at Sera and frowned. “I take it Sam and the others aren’t back yet, are they?”</p><p>“Nope,” the elf replied happily. “Congrats, Cheesy- you get to be all ‘let’s save the day’ n’ shit.” When he frowned, she simply laughed in his face. “Wut, you gonna let Ruffles get stuck by the pointy end cuz’ you wanna wait for Quizzy and Sam? Fuck that noise,” she declared firmly, grabbing his hand and dragging him toward Josie’s office. “She’s one of the few big people that don’t act like big people- time to do your job, ya bloody arse!"</p><p>Surprised to see the elf so involved in a situation, Ali dutifully followed Sera into the ambassador’s office, where the two of them found Josie sitting at her desk, absentmindedly twirling her fingers in her hair. She did indeed look lost in thought- she had her quill and parchment in front of her, but she didn’t particularly look as if she were focusing on any one thing in particular. He'd never seen her look like this- usually, Josie was the picture of perfection, but right now, the ambassador looked tired and frazzled.</p><p>Ali started to approach her, but Sera beat him to it- bounding over, the elf slammed her palms on the desk with a loud bang, causing Josie to jerk up and stare at the two of them. “Oi! Out wit’ it,” she shouted, leaning in Josie’s face and pointing. “Wut’s got your bloomers in a twist and making ya’ all ‘woe is me?’ You got the weirdo outside spoutin’ off at the mouth and spewing doom gloom everywhere- wut gives?” </p><p>Ali groaned. “What Sera means to say,” he muttered as he walked over and gently shoved Sera to the side, “is that we know something is amiss, Josie- you seem to think there is reason to fear for your safety, and if that is the case, we are here to help.” Josie opened her mouth, most likely to deny any such claim, but Ali waved a finger at her. “And no lying about it- you know I’ll only go and ask Sam if you do.”</p><p>Knowing she was caught, Josie looked between the two of them and hung her head. “I suppose there is no harm in telling you,” she said sadly. “I have discovered there is a contract on my head from the House of Repose.“</p><p>The tiny elf cocked her head, looking remarkably like Dog when he was confused about something. “Who? You? Wut ya do, write a nasty letter to someone n’ make em piss ‘emselves?” She glanced over at Ali, then smirked. “Must’ve been sum’n good- even I ain’t managed that one yet.” </p><p>“I tried to restore my family’s trade status, but the documents I sent had all been destroyed. While we waited for Blackwall’s transfer, Lana and I met with a man claiming to be a Comte- in fact, he was an assassin from the House of Repose, giving me a warning that a contract issued by the DuParquettes is in effect.”</p><p>Sera scowled. “So? Go tell those blimey bastards they got it wrong- you’re a bigwig… and one o’ the good ones.” She crossed her arms and let out a hug. “N’ if they don’t like it, I can send an arrow n’ their arses- that’ll show ‘em.”</p><p>Josie let out a laugh, resting the quill on her desk. “I certainly appreciate the sentiment,” she said, tenting her fingers. “But unfortunately their family has lost their nobility status- the only option is to raise their rank or take the original contract, both of which are unlikely.” </p><p>Just then, a throat cleared from the doorway. “I think I might be able to help with one of those solutions,” Leliana said quietly, leaning against the doorframe. “I could easily have some of my men go in and steal the contract if you’d like.” She smiled that cat-like smile at the ambassador, taking in the faces in the room. “It would be no trouble, really.” </p><p>Josie paled, her head snapping back and forth. “I don’t want anyone hurt on my account,” she said quickly. “I…I will deal with this.”  She bit her lip, then stared out the window. “Maybe I can petition some people to get them a sponsor… that could work.”</p><p>“<em>Or</em>,” Ali said, looking at all the women and wondering how no one else had brought this up already, “you could just ask Sam about it.” </p><p>“Lana wanted to,” Josie admitted. “But I stopped her- I wanted to see if there was a way to handle this on my own first. The poor girl has been through so much- it wouldn’t be fair to burden her with my personal troubles."</p><p>Ali rolled his eyes. "You know she'd berate you to no end if she heard you say that, Josie." Leliana let out a chuckle, and Sera hopped on the desk, her tiny legs swinging haphazardly. He looked around the room and the three women and sighed- this had to be taken care of, and soon. “At any rate, we should talk to Sam before we do anything,” Ali replied, crossing his arms and staring at the ambassador. “I'd rather know what I'm walking into, and I'm sure you would, too."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0049"><h2>49. Moves and Countermoves</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sam and her family set off on their respective missions</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“I’m sorry,” Cullen replied, staring at me with an incredulous look while we all stood around inside the war room, “did you just say you want to walk into a <em>den of assassins</em> and <em>steal</em> from them?” </p><p>I shuffled from foot to foot, thinking about it for a moment- when he said it like that, it <em>did</em> sound kind of stupid. “Well, it isn’t that bad,” I said carefully, glancing over at Leliana, who wasn’t saying a word. “I mean, as long as someone tells me where to go, I'll be fine, and I can pick any lock you throw at me. And besides, it’s not like they’re rolling in red lyrium, so I'd have all my powers when I got there.” Trying to put my husband at ease, I gave Cullen a big smile as I folded my hands behind my back and twisted my fingers, nervously rocking back and forth on my heels. “I mean, we don’t want these assassins coming after Josie, do we?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Ali replied dryly, folding his arms across his chest, “but we also don’t want to send the girl who can’t fight in to get herself killed, either.” I opened my mouth in shock, but the warden just gave me a look. “Oh come on, Sparrow- you are not, by any stretch of the imagination, a fighter.”</p><p>“But I can stop time!” I protested, putting my hands on my hips. “Which one of you fuckers can do that, huh?” Alistair scoffed at me, and I walked over and punched him in the arm. “Look, it’s a good plan! Ali can talk me through anything I need to know, and I can rip this contract up, easy peasy- why are you guys treating me like I’m useless here?”</p><p>“Because you <em>died!</em>” Cullen spat as he slammed his hands on the table, causing everyone in the room to jump at the sound. “I will <em>not</em> stand by while my wife unnecessarily risks her life!”</p><p>Surprised at his outburst, I bit my lip- as far as I could tell, this was the first time anyone had even acknowledged what had happened to me at Adamant. Once I had taken a moment and glanced at the faces in the room,  I realized that Lana and Ali were looking at me with concern as well, and I felt myself deflate. “I understand that,” I said quietly, casting my eyes to the floor while I collected my thoughts. “Like it or not, nothing out here is safe, Cullen." I tried to move closer and place a hand on his shoulder. "I could die again tomorrow-“</p><p>“DON’T SAY THAT!” Cullen yelled, making me jump back and startling me into silence. “For Maker’s sake, Sam, would you just stop and <em>think</em> for a second! We lost you that day- who’s to say we’re going to be so lucky to get you back a second time?” Before I could say a word, he walked over and grabbed me by my shoulders, his grip so tight it felt like he was going to break me. “I can’t lose you again,” he croaked. “I <em>won’t</em> lose you again, Sam.” He pressed harder, forcing me to look up at him before he brought me in for a crushing hug. “Just once,” he whispered, "for bloody <em>once</em>, would you please just listen to me?”</p><p>“Cullen,” I said, hugging him tightly, then sighing as he rested his head on mine. “I’m coming back. You have to go find Samson and I can’t go with you- I know that. But what I <em>can</em> do is help Josie,” I said quietly. “You know I’m here to help, Cullen- let me do that.” </p><p>“I just want to keep you safe this time,” he replied softly, completely ignoring the others in the room. “You don’t have to do this, Sam.” </p><p>“But I do,” I replied, placing a kiss on his lips as I pulled away from him. “And when this war is over and done with, I promise that you can wrap me up in bubble wrap and assign armed guards to me every minute of the day if it makes you feel better. Whatever you want, you can have… you tell me and I'll do it.” </p><p>He was quiet for a moment, just staring at me with amber eyes that were full of sadness and uncertainty. Cullen was quiet so long that I was sure he was going to launch into another tirade, but I felt him relent and heard a soft sigh escape his lips. Slowly, he lowered his head and closed his eyes, his hands resting lightly against my shoulders before he brought his forehead to rest against mine. “I’m going to hold you to that,” Cullen murmured.  </p><p>I smiled, inhaling the comforting smell of leather, polish, and earth drifting from his armor and wrapping my arms around his waist. “I’d expect nothing less, Metal Man." </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“Are you ready to do this?” Lana asked him as they approached the gates of Skyhold. “Are you going to be okay out here, Cullen?” </p><p>"I'll be fine." Cullen sighed, looking over at the concerned face of his sister-in-law. He knew that the Shrine of Dumat would probably be crawling with red lyrium, which was the main reason Sam had declined to go with them on this mission- she didn’t want to become a liability. “I’m more worried about your sister traveling to Orlais,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. Sam had worked with Josie to get a clear picture of the assassin they’d let leave at the cafe, so she knew who she was searching for. Lana had assured him that the man was not a mage, so his wife would be in no danger of anyone sensing her powers, but fear still nagged at him every time he thought of their plan. “I wish someone was with her,” he said quietly.</p><p>“You know I would go with her in a heartbeat if I could,” Lana whispered, gripping his hand as Varric, Cole, and Bull began to approach them. “But since I can't, we just have to rely on Ali and Leli to keep her safe- that’s all we can do.” </p><p>The words left a bad taste in his mouth, and he scowled. “Because that’s worked out so well before,” Cullen spat angrily. “Ali was supposed to keep her safe in the fade and Leli tried to kill her- please forgive me your statement doesn’t leave me with the utmost in confidence right now, Lana.” </p><p>His sister matched his expression with a scowl of her own. “Cullen, that’s not fair and you know it,” Lana replied quietly. “There was nothing Ali could do...” </p><p>The Commander sighed, running his hand across the back of his neck.  Deep down, he knew Lana was right- no one could have stopped what happened, but every time he had to let her out of his sight, he felt that same overwhelming sense of fear he’d felt in that courtyard- the only thing that tempered it was holding his wife in his arms. Sighing, he looked over at Lana. “How does he do it,” he whispered, squeezing her hand tightly. “After losing you for all that time, how can Alistair stand to let you go out there without him?”</p><p>“He usually doesn’t,” Lana said with a smile as she squeezed his hand back. “Have you not noticed that Ali and Sam usually never leave my side unless there’s a specific reason? And when we do have to part, we don’t even have the benefit of tokens to connect us- he just has to trust that I will return… as you must do.”</p><p>“It’s hard,” he whispered, trying to talk around the lump forming in his throat. “Rationally, I know these things, but still…” Cullen sighed, turning away as the others came closer. “In the meanwhile, I’ll just direct my focus to the mission.” </p><p>“It helps,” Lana agreed, waving to the other members joining them. “So,” she said to the group, raising her voice to address the team, “Cullen is coming with us today,” Lana said with a smile, patting him on the shoulder. “He used to be stationed at Kirkwall with Samson- hopefully, his knowledge will give us an edge.”</p><p>“Yeah, I dunno Hero,” Varric replied, looking over at Cullen with concern. “I remember the man from Kirkwall, but the crazy asshat we saw back at Haven seems like he’s taken a piss on the sanity line a long time ago- I think that red stuff has fried his brain, guys.”</p><p>The dwarf looked over at Cole, who nodded as they started to set off. “Addicted to the blue, the melody so sweet it drowns out everything else. When the song dulls, the fire burns- burns so much he can’t see, can’t think. Now the red screams within him, taking over, laying in wait. He serves its song, no other words in his mind except the lyrics it hums.”</p><p>After Cole had spoken, Cullen found himself gripping the hilt of his sword, his jaw set in a tight line. “Right.. to work,” he said curtly, turning away from them and starting down the road, hoping none of them noticed his involuntary shiver, or understood just how right the strange boy’s words were.</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>Dressed in a black t-shirt, black leggings, and gym shoes, I grinned at Ali, Leli, and Josie. “Welp, I feel like a cat burglar,” I said, cracking my neck and flexing my fingers, I hope I’m not too rusty- I haven’t broken into anything since Grace was in high school.”  </p><p>“What in the Maker did you and that sister of yours get up to?” Ali asked, shaking his head at me. “Wait, I take that back- I don’t think I want to know.” He looked me over again, his face more serious this time. “You sure about this, Sparrow? Leli can still send agents-“</p><p>I put my hand on my hips. “I already saw the path,” I said firmly. “I can do this. For some odd reason, as soon I get rid of that contract, the path leading to Josie’s death ends.” I looked at the spymaster and frowned. “Why are Orlesians like this, Leli? This is so stupidly complex that it shouldn’t even be a thing.”</p><p>Her blue eyes sparkled as she laughed, shrugging her delicate shoulders. “I cannot say, dear Sam- I suppose it is just part of the game.” She looked me over as I grabbed my shorter hair and looped it into a ponytail, making sure my button was firmly in place. “You know, an ability like this would be very useful- are you sure you don’t want to assist us as one of my agents?” </p><p>“Um, no trying to turn my sister into an assassin, Leli,” Ali chided the redhead, who just laughed. “I’ve got enough problems with Rutherford right now- I don’t want to add one more to the mix.” </p><p>“No one is recruiting me to anything,” I replied, laughing as Leli’s face twisted in a mock pout. “Okay, let's repeat this for the people in the cheap seats- I dip into the headquarters, find this contract room and dip out, right?”</p><p>Leliana nodded. “The contracts will be within the lowest levels. There are guards stationed there at all times, and they are trained members of the house- be careful, Sam.” She frowned, glancing over at me with concern. “If you are not willing to kill them, how are you planning on getting past them?”</p><p>I let out a wicked grin, reaching in my bag as I pulled out two syringes. “By getting them higher than a motherfucker,” I chirped. “Morphine, bitches- great for surgery and making big motherfuckers pass out in less than a minute. Got about 6 of these bad boys spring-loaded and ready to go. Since I can’t adjust for height and weight right now, I’m just gonna have to do some checking on the fly so I don’t kill them.” </p><p>“This is more than a little scary,” Ali replied, looking over me and my getup. “I’m starting to be a bit nervous about you carrying potions that can do things like that.”</p><p>“Well, you asked,” I said lightly, pulling out my phone and handing it to him. “This button calls Grace,” I said quickly. “If anything goes wrong that I don’t see coming, hit that button and call her- she’ll find a way to come and get me out. She’s got even more ways to handle this kind of thing than I do.”</p><p>“So why didn’t we just ask your sister to do this in the first place?” Ali said with a huff. “It would have left your husband in a much better mood, that’s for sure.”</p><p>“Because you want this contract stolen, not stolen with a pile of dead bodies left in her wake and a special on the Orlesian evening news,” I said with a shiver. “Don’t let the sweet little face fool you…that girl is a bit ruthless. If you come at her wrong, you better damn well have made your peace with whatever god you believe in because she’s gonna do her damnedest to give you a first-class ticket to meet them. Trust me, I’m the better option.” </p><p>“You can’t be serious!” Ali exclaimed. In answer, I just shrugged and he looked at me, horrified. “You mean to say that my lovable drunk sister-in-law is that bad?” </p><p>“You’ve seen her husband,” I reminded him. “John’s just as deadly- I think they met when he stabbed a guy in front of her. I hear it's the equivalent of taking a girl out for drinks out there.” </p><p>Leliana’s eyes were alight with interest, but Ali just shuddered. “Maker preserve me, I’m going to die at my next family get-together…” </p><p>“Nah,” I replied, punching Ali lightly in the arm. “They like you, so you’re safe.” I grinned, then placed a kiss on his cheek that made him scowl. “And now that I’ve made my brother practically piss himself with fear, I think it’s time to get this over and done with,” I said with a cheery smile. “Leli, do you mind if I get that location from you one more time, just to be sure?”</p><p>She offered her hand and I reached for it, focusing on the vision she’d seen of the headquarters. Once I’d committed it to memory, I nodded, looking over at the room and adjusting the backpack on my back. “Be back shortly,” I said, giving the room a mock salute as I started to disappear. “One contract for Josie, coming up!”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“What do you expect to find when we get there?” Lana asked, sitting on a log next to Cullen as they made camp for the night. She was desperate to keep his mind of Sam’s upcoming travels- she was well aware of the fact that Sam wouldn’t be leaving for the hideout until nightfall, which did nothing to improve Cullen's mood during the day. No matter who spoke to him, he’d been snappish and terse, and when he wasn't angry, he was lost in his head. Between the stress of her sister’s mission and the threat of being around that much lyrium again, she didn’t exactly envy his position at the moment, so she didn't begrudge his mood. “I’d like to know about your plan, Cullen.”</p><p>Looking up as if he’d only just realized she was there, Cullen gave her a sheepish look before turning back to stare into the fire. “My apologies, Inquisitor.” </p><p>Lana raised an eyebrow. “Inquisitor? Since when do you call me that, Cullen?” She checked him with her shoulder, causing him to finally break out into a small smile. “It’s going to be okay,” she whispered, tossing a stick into the flame. “We can do this… she can do this.”</p><p>“I know,” he said irritably, then sighed. “I…” Cullen looked around, checking for the rest of their party. The camp was quiet, except for the rumbling of Bull’s snores from the nearby tent and the crackling of the flames from the fire in front of them. “I am just unsure of this whole endeavor, Lana.”</p><p>“I understand,” she replied, placing a hand on his knee. “Will you be okay out here, dear brother? I could tell Cole’s words affected you when we set out.”</p><p>“It will be a challenge,” he admitted. “I have not been around the substance since Adamant… how I will fare around such large quantities is an unknown factor that worries me.” </p><p>She turned to him and smiled. “You are one of the strongest men I know,” Lana said resolutely. “I have the utmost faith in you, Cullen- remember our first trip to Haven? You were at your worst then, but you were still the best of us- if you can survive that, then I know this poses no threat to you. And,” she said quietly, gripping his leg firmly, “if you ever doubt yourself, you can always lean on me, dear brother, because I’m here for you.” </p><p>He rubbed the back of his neck, and Lana wondered if the redness was from blushing or the light of the campfire reflecting off his skin. “May I say something to you that might sound strange, Lana?”</p><p>“Of course,” she replied with a laugh. “It can be no worse than what my sister says daily, so ask whatever you like.” </p><p>Cullen shifted to look at her, his amber eyes serious and reflecting the sparks flickering in the night. “Do you ever think about that night back in Kinloch?" When she stared at him with confusion, he sighed. "I'm speaking of the night we met Sam- do you ever wonder what our lives would be like if she hadn’t found us?” </p><p>Lana sighed, looking back at the flames. “While I don’t doubt you’d still be here…I wouldn’t be here with you, that’s for sure. I’d be dead,” she said sadly. “I owe her my life.” Then Lana shook her head, letting out a soft laugh. “If we’re being honest with each other, she saved my life the day I met her.” Now it was his turn to be confused and Lana smiled, enjoying the relaxed expression on his face. “She was my first real friend, Cullen… and she gave us so much. Be honest,” she said, smirking as she leaned against him, “if it weren’t for Sam, would you have ever even talked to me?” </p><p>Cullen started to protest, but after a minute he smiled, wrapping his arm around her. “Probably not- I was too enamored to ever say a single word to you. I daresay if Sam hadn’t been so impertinent with me, I may not have even spoken to her at length.” Cullen chuckled, obviously remembering their first time meeting. “As a matter of fact, I’m quite surprised I didn’t try to smite her on sight.”</p><p>“You always were quite scowly,” Lana teased. “No wonder she called you Mr. GrumpyPants- that night was the first time I’d ever heard you laugh.” He laughed a bit, and Lana smiled before continuing. “I used to always find it so funny that you never realized that you didn’t laugh or joke until she came… even though you had a crush on me, it was her that always made you smile.” </p><p>At that, Cullen blushed, his cheeks turning a furious shade of red. “You… you knew about that?”</p><p>Lana had to hold a hand to her mouth, working hard to stifle her laughter. “Of course I did! I’d have to have been blind not to notice. But, after our second visit with Sam, I also saw that she had a bit of a crush on you… you were just too stupid to notice.” </p><p>Now it was his turn to fight back laughter. “I was?” </p><p>“Oh yes,” Lana said simply, glancing up at him. “Any fool could see that she had eyes for you, Cullen. She was thoroughly smitten, though she’d have gladly stepped aside for me if I’d asked her to.” </p><p>“Is that why you asked your mother for me to be the second?” Cullen asked softly, looking over at her. When she nodded, he let out an exhale. “It appears that even back then, you saw what I could not, Solana.” </p><p>“Just as I see you being victorious against this now,” she replied, hugging him tightly. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go hide in my tent and call my sister.” </p><p>Cullen frowned. “You can do that in your head and no one would be the wiser- what’s with the sudden need for secrecy?” </p><p>Lana flashed him a brilliant grin, standing up and stretching. “Because, my dear commander, Sam has a telephone that I can now use. And unlike you, I am not blessed to talk to my beloved in my head. So,” she said, tapping him gently on the nose, “I am going to take advantage of my sister being home and call her on sed device and annoy her relentlessly until she gives the phone to my husband." Her smile grew wider, thinking about connecting with Alistair, even just for a moment. "I'm counting on her love for me overriding her paranoia and letting me see him before I fall asleep.” </p><p>“Only you would look for such a loophole,” Cullen said, shaking his head and chuckling to himself. “Bloody brilliant, that’s what you are- now I’m slightly jealous of you, Lana... I’d love to see Sam's face before I fell asleep.”</p><p>Pretending to look around, she flashed him a devious grin. “Then let us place this call together- it’s always nice to have a partner in crime, don’t you think?”</p><p>“I wholeheartedly agree,” Cullen replied as he rose to his feet, looking more relaxed than he had been on their entire journey. “Lead the way, Lana."</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p><em>I’m here,</em> I said nervously, creeping across the stone walls and slowly making my way down the stairs. <em>Yeah, this place is not exactly at the top of my must-see list… I’ll be kinda glad to get out of here. </em></p><p><em>I’ll be glad when you’re done,</em> Ali whispered back. <em>Not being able to see what’s going on is making me anxious, Sparrow. </em></p><p><em>You know you don’t have to whisper,</em> I chided, running my finger across the cold stones and flattening myself against the wall when I noticed two men walking down the stairs. <em>No one can hear you except me. </em></p><p><em>That’s beside the point,</em> Ali hissed. <em>I’m practically shaking over here- hurry up, please!</em></p><p><em>Fine- I thought talking with Lana would've calmed you down, you big baby</em>. Slowly, I crept behind the two men and had to stop myself from tripping over my feet as they came to a halt in front of a large vault. <em>Whoa</em>, I murmured, looking over the massive door. <em>Can you ask Leli how many assassinations these fuckers have going on? Why do they need a storage room for this?</em></p><p>Taking a peek in the War Room, I could see Ali rolling his eyes and Leliana staring at him with concern<em>. Sparrow, focus! Can you find the damnable contract or not?</em></p><p><em>You keep rolling your eyes like that and they’re gonna stick that way,</em> I teased, making him yelp with concern and look around the room, his eyes going wide. Taking comfort in his distress, I chuckled. <em>And of course, I can find it- the thread is pointing straight there. All I have to do is follow it. Well, after I open the big fucking door with the angry-looking men in front of it, that is. </em></p><p><em>Of course they are,</em> Ali groaned. <em>Because why wouldn’t this be a simple in-and-out mission? </em></p><p><em>I don't know why you're so surprised- Leli warned us about this, remember?</em> I chuckled silently as I rummaged through my backpack, looking for the syringes. <em>Besides, I got this, remember?</em></p><p><em>I’ll believe it when I see it,</em> he shot back. <em>Now hurry up and remove those guards, Sparrow!</em></p><p><em>Geez, someone is cranky</em>, I said as I froze the two guards. Looking them over and checking the threads, jamming the appropriate amount of drugs directly into their necks and shoving the spent needles back in my bag. Once the sedative was given, I decided to check in with Ali. <em>There- the night-night drugs have been given. Now its time for me to find a corner and hide, cause I don’t want my face to be the last thing they see before they go down. </em></p><p><em>Perish the thought,</em> Ali said dryly as I darted behind a bunch of crates and restarted time. <em>How long do your potions take to work?</em></p><p><em>Any minute now,</em> I said, looking at my watch. The guard on the left was starting to wobble, whereas the one on the right was crumpling to the ground. Finally, after a few agonizing moments, both of them went down and I darted to the door, surprised to find it open- I guess they didn’t need to lock it with two assassins outside. <em>The guards are handled and the doors are open,</em> I told Ali. <em>Plus, I can feel the contract… I’m heading in. </em></p><p><em>Be careful, Sparrow,</em> Ali warned. <em>Leli says stay sharp.</em></p><p>Just as I was about to go inside, I felt a chill run up my spine that caused me to reflexively pause time. As soon as I opened the door, I blew out a breath, feeling extremely grateful for that pause. Glancing around the frozen room, I noticed that there was a meeting happening inside- there were about five people huddled around a table… and all of them were pointing at Josie’s contract. <em>Um</em>, I whispered, padding softly into the room. <em>How much trouble are we gonna be in if this disappears right under their nose? </em></p><p>He paused for a moment, and I assumed he was talking with Leliana. <em>Our favorite spymaster says not too much, why? </em>When I didn't respond, Ali let out a sigh.<em> Sam</em>, he asked warily, <em>is that something that’s likely to happen? </em></p><p>Reaching for the piece of paper on the table and gently pulling it from the hands of a man wearing a very ornate mask, I swallowed nervously. <em>Yep,</em> I replied, restarting time as I disappeared from the room, <em>I'd say it’s definitely a possibility. </em></p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“You couldn’t have saved him, Commander,” Bull said as they set up camp for the night. “This is on Samson, not you.”</p><p>Cullen was unable to look at Bull, holding his head in his hands- he had the headache to end all headaches after their assault on the shrine. “While that may be true, I’m afraid it does little to change the situation.” He reached in his pack and took two of the pills Sam left with him for emergencies. “I should have stopped him."</p><p>Bull just looked at him. “I get that, but we’ve got enough issues out here without you taking on extras. Maddox chose to serve Samson and he chose to die for that asshole- you didn’t kill him, Commander.”</p><p>“But I didn’t save him, either,” Cullen said wistfully. “That man didn’t deserve to die like that… how many others are we sacrificing in the name of this cause?”</p><p>“<em>We</em> haven’t,” Bull responded,  “<em>Samson</em> did.” When Cullen didn't respond, Bull turned away, his massive form blocking the light from the fire. “Any word from Squirt?” </p><p>Cullen shook his head. “I haven’t contacted her yet- I’ve been too afraid to disturb her in the middle of her mission.” He raked his fingers through his hair, then sat on a log near the fire, hoping the quinari would leave. Once he realized that Bull had no intention of leaving, Cullen sighed, placing his head in his hands again. “I assume she doesn’t want to disturb me in the middle of our mission either- we’re both being too considerate, I suppose.” </p><p>Bull just chuckled, sitting down on the log next to him. "Maybe you should go talk to the boss, then," he said with a low rumble. "Doesn’t she have a way to contact her that won’t interrupt her? If she isn’t freaking out, then she’s gotta know something, right?”</p><p>Cullen cut his eyes to the Charger captain. “Out with it,” he said, watching Bull closely. “You’re never this vague without a reason- you know something, don’t you?”</p><p>The quinari shrugged. “Maybe I do... maybe it's nothing. Anyway," he said with a grin, "it might be best for you to see the Boss- I’m sure she’ll be able to help you.” He clapped a large hand on Cullen’s shoulder, then turned to stare at the fire. “I'm just saying... a device like that is pretty useful…especially since it sounds like Squirt left hers with Cheesy when she left.”</p><p>This revelation made Cullen pause. “She did?”</p><p>“Sure did,” he replied. “Boss connected me with him so I could check in on my team. Cheesy sent Pavus over to Krem and asked for a report.” </p><p>“Oh, is that so?” Cullen asked, feeling intrigued and slightly better about the whole thing after his conversation. “Well, if it won’t disturb Sam’s progress, I suppose I should see if Lana can connect me to Alistair.” He rose to his feet, and out the corner of his eye, he could swear that Bull was grinning at him. Knowing full well he’d been played, Cullen lowered his head. “Thank you, Bull,” he murmured. “Your assistance is appreciated.”</p><p>“Anytime, Commander,” Bull replied. “Now go check on Squirt- it’s kinda quiet without her here.”</p><p>“Will do.” Cullen made his way to Lana’s tent, being careful not to disturb the others. He was afraid he might be disturbing her, but when he noticed the candle burning in the tent, he breathed a sigh of relief. Standing outside the tent flap, Cullen knocked gently against a post before calling out to her. “Lana? Do you have a minute?”</p><p>“I do,” she replied. “Come in, Cullen.” </p><p>He entered the tent, letting his eyes adjust to the light. “Am I disturbing you?”</p><p>“Not at all,” Lana replied with a smile. “I just finished talking with Ali… turns out there’s a reason we haven’t heard from Sam all this time.” </p><p>“Maker…" Cullen felt his knees go weak as Lana gestured for him to sit next to her. "I... what.. is she all right?”</p><p>"it's not what you think." She patted him on the leg. “The mission was a success- Sam got in and out of the headquarters with no issues. The problem came in when she got back- she accidentally dosed herself with her own sleeping draught. They had to call Grace and see what to do for her, which was basically ‘keep her away from sharp objects and not be underneath her when she passes out’. Dorian’s been on Sam duty the entire time- they didn’t want to worry us about it while we were out here, though.” </p><p>“That damnable girl,” he muttered, hearing a soft chuckle from Lana. “If it isn’t one thing, it’s another- why can nothing be uneventful with her?” </p><p>“Because we desire to keep her safe, and she desires the same for us- I learned this lesson long ago." Lana smiled, shaking her head as she began braiding her hair for bed. "If I recall correctly, wasn’t it you who told me that she was always going to give everything for me?”</p><p>He let out a huff. “I hardly see how that’s relevant right now.”</p><p>Lana raised an eyebrow, a bemused smile on her face. “Careful, brother- I think some of that pridefulness is showing.” When he growled at her, the smile turned into a full-blown laugh. “At any rate, she is safe, so let us not worry- how are you doing?”</p><p>“Still unnerved by the events of the day,” he replied honestly, looking down at his hands and hoping Lana didn’t notice them shaking. “I hope the tools we found were worth it- I would hate to see this whole horrible endeavor be for naught.”</p><p>“While I agree, I think you’re aware that wasn’t what I was talking about,” Lana said quietly, placing a hand over his. “I know we encountered quite a bit of lyrium in there… are you okay?” </p><p>“I am,” Cullen replied, letting out a shaky breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Though my head hurts something terrible, I will manage… thank you for your concern."</p><p>She just gave him a look that plainly said she thought he was being stupid. “Sam warned me this might happen, Lana said with a huff. "The girl also told me that if I don’t look out for you, she’s holding all the snacks hostage upon my return.” Cullen chuckled as he began to rise from the bedroll, but Lana reached for him with her hands encased in ice. “Since I am not letting you be the reason I have to resort to rations on my excursions, I suggest you let me help you." She waggled her frosty fingertips at him, making his chuckle turn to outright laughter. "And I need you to report that I did everything in my power to make you feel better because Maker knows I’m positively <em>sick</em> of the food out here.” </p><p>Knowing he was beaten, Cullen leaned back on the bedroll as Lana placed her cold hands on his head, savoring the icy sensation dancing over his inflamed skin. “Lana, if you keep doing that, I will tell my wife whatever you need me to.” </p><p>Lana just laughed, moving over to make room for the stretched-out commander. “Ask her to make me a Red Bull and Vodka upon my return and you will have a personal nurse for the rest of the journey home, Cullen.” </p><p>Smiling, he closed his eyes and let out a contented sigh. “I do believe you have yourself a deal, Lana."</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“So,” Ali teased, shoulder checking me as we walked through the gardens. “All nice and rested? No more impromptu naps in your future, Sparrow?” </p><p>I groaned, thwacking him on the arm. “It was a rookie mistake! In my world, we dispose of used needles properly- not my fault Thedas doesn’t have medical waste receptacles!” I stuck out my tongue at the warden, making him laugh. “Stop laughing at me, you big jerk- it’s not funny!”</p><p>“On the contrary,” Ali replied, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and ignoring my best pouty face. “We all found that little show quite entertaining- if it weren't so terrifying, I'd say you should do it more often.”</p><p>I started to offer a retort, but I was stopped by the sound of a voice behind me. “I do hate to interrupt this frivolity,” Morrigan said dryly, “but I have an important matter to discuss with you, Samantha.”</p><p>Turning to see the witch leaning against a tree, I swallowed nervously. “Morrigan,” I replied, trying not to let my nerves show, “how can we help you?” </p><p>She frowned, looking over at Alistair and giving a dismissive sniff in his direction. “I didn’t think you had issues with comprehension, Samantha- this matter concerns magic far beyond the abilities of the mongrel at your side.”</p><p>“He’s my brother and one of the highest-ranking members of the Inquisition,” I retorted, squeezing his hand. “Besides, anything you tell me, I’m just going to tell him anyway-  why even bother with the runaround?”</p><p>Morrigan rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated huff. “Fine! But do not ask me to explain things in tiny words so the moron can understand- time is of the essence.”</p><p>“Well, if the evil witchy woman says time is of the essence,” Ali replied sarcastically, “then by all means, let us drop everything we’re doing so we can bow down to lick her boots.” I poked him, but the warden rolled his eyes as we followed Morrigan into her chambers. “Gah, I don’t know why they invited her here in the first place.”</p><p>“Because unlike you, I’m useful for more than chasing after Solana like some lovelorn pup,” Morrigan hissed angrily, stomping forward and tossing the sheet off a large and shiny mirror. “Samantha, do you know what this is?”</p><p>I wanted to reply ‘a mirror’, but before I could get the words out, I felt a compulsion to reach for the glass. Morrigan started to protest, but her words died in her throat as the glass began to wobble like a gel beneath my fingertips. “Holy shit,” I breathed, turning to Morrigan incredulously, “this is a gateway- why do you have it in here? And why is it out in the open like this?”</p><p>“A gateway?” She looked at me, confused. “Sam, this is an Eluvian… and how were you able to activate it?” She went up to the shimmering glass, staring at me as if she expected my head to explode. “They require a key to work, not to mention the fact that you are not a mage- you shouldn’t be able to activate this at all!” </p><p>I shrugged. “It doesn't surprise me- I could always work with a gateway,” I replied, turning my attention back to the shimmering glass. “It’s just that without a guide, I might get lost. The bigger question is, what are you doing with one, Morrigan?”</p><p>“I’m with Sparrow on this,” Alistair said quietly, looking back and forth between us. For once, there was no joking in his tone- he had turned into the Grey Warden commander everyone else in Ferelden saw. “If that Eluvian is something that Sam knows about, then I’m inclined to say it's dangerous, Morrigan.”</p><p>Morrigan didn’t even bother with an insult- her tone was still as she turned to look at me. “It will be better if I show you both,” she said quietly, taking a step inside the mirror and disappearing. </p><p>Alistair looked at me, then back at the Eluvian, his hand tapping nervously against his side. “Should we follow her?” </p><p>I nodded, moving carefully toward the glass. “Gateways are perfectly safe- it's the same principle as the doors Mom makes. However, they shouldn’t be out in the open here- we use these to travel from world to world, not hop in them like cosmic Ubers.” </p><p>“All the more reason to find out what’s going on,” Ali said bitterly, looking at the glass. “And to figure out why she wanted you to know about this.” When I stared at him blankly, he scoffed. “Come on, Sparrow, you aren’t dumb- It’s Morrigan. She’s been here all this time and she certainly didn’t want anyone else to know about this- she sought you out for a reason, Sparrow,” he said tersely, squeezing my hand back. “This reeks of a trap.”</p><p>“Then it’s lucky I have you with me, huh?” I replied, feeling the chill seeping inside my bones like fog as I stepped through the glass. Just as I’d suspected, the Eluvian functioned like a gateway- there was that same sense of disorientation that I’d often get if I looked backward when I traveled at home. However, it was different from traveling- traveling was easier, almost like the world just shifted beneath your feet and set you down in a different spot, like a stage in a theater. But gateways were different- for just a moment, you were between worlds, and if you didn’t know your destination, you could walk through the between forever to find the proper exit.</p><p>To me, gateways were scary places, and there was a reason Grace and I always waited for Mom to open doors for us- we’d learned long ago that some spaces weren't meant to be traveled in. </p><p>As I felt the wetness slither across my skin, I realized that Ali was no longer holding my hand and I started to freak out- had I lost him between the moments? Whipping my head around, I began to panic, searching for him. “Ali!" I screamed, turning around and finding nothing in the grey-tinged atmosphere. "Where the fuck are you, Ali!”</p><p>“Calm down,” a voice said from behind me, causing me to jump about a foot and let out a gasp. “He’s with the witch, but I’m pretty sure he ain’t happy about it… just like I ain’t happy to see you in here.” Jaw hanging open, I turned to see Alex sitting on a bench that had appeared. While I gaped like a beached fish, the pilot looked me over, wearing a disapproving expression on his face. “What would <em>possibly</em> possess you to step inside an unknown gateway, kid? You know better than that!” </p><p>I shrugged, putting my hands in my pockets- he was right, even if I didn’t want to admit it. “I had Ali and Morrigan with me-“</p><p>Alex scoffed. “Yeah, that makes me feel a fuckton better.” He got up from the bench, then smacked me upside the back of my head. “I should tell your Mom and Dad about this,” he hissed, glaring at me. “You’re smarter than this!” </p><p>Rubbing the spot where he’d smacked me, I scowled at him. “You know, you just showed up as family a little bit ago- that doesn’t give you the right to hit me, asshole! What gives?” </p><p>“To the contrary,” he said, hands on his hips and looming over me. “I’ve been around since you were born. And don’t try and change the subject!” He looked around, then took my hand. “C’mon- we gotta get out of here.” </p><p>His statement intrigued me, but I frowned- there was too much to unpack right now. “Why?”</p><p>“I’ll tell you when we get to where we’re going,” he said pointedly, yanking me toward a door that had suddenly appeared in front of us. Glancing over his shoulder, he pulled a key out of his pocket, then unlocked and opened the door, pushing me through it so quickly I barely had time to think. I landed with a thud against something, rubbing my butt as Alex slammed the door shut, locking it behind him and letting out a deep breath. “Fuck,” he hissed, running his hands through his hair. “That was close.” </p><p>“Alex, you’re scaring me,” I said nervously, trying to get my bearings. “What the hell is going on out there?” </p><p>“I could ask you the same damn question,” a voice said as the door I was leaning against flew open, sending me tumbling to the ground. “You got ten seconds to tell me what the fuck you’re doing inside my house before I give you a new hole in your head.”</p><p>Blinded at the sudden influx of light, I swallowed as I started to sit up, the top of my head resting against what I knew without a doubt was the cold metal of barrel of a gun. Instinctively, I threw up my hands and tried to stop time, going into a mild panic when I realized that my powers didn’t work… at all. “Alex,” I hissed at the pilot, “where the hell are we?”</p><p>At the sound of my voice, the gun moved away from my face, and I let out a sigh of relief. “Squeak? Is that you?”</p><p>Eyes wide with shock, I carefully tilted my head back and found myself looking up at a pair of black boots, followed by a pair of black cotton pants… and a red frock coat. I let out a gasp and threw myself against the wall, frantically trying to make some sense of what was going on. “John?" I asked, glancing over at Alex. "What the fuck are we doing here?”</p><p>John just scowled at Alex before offering me a scarred hand, helping me slowly pull myself to my feet. “I think I’m the one that should be asking you that question, Squeak.” </p><p class="p1">
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</p><hr/><p><em>“Sparrow!”</em> Ali called out, whirling around in a panic. “Where are you!” His eyes landed on the witch, oddly silhouetted in the misty grey environment littered with shattered mirrors. “What did you do with her?” </p><p>“Me?” Morrigan said indignantly, pointing to herself. “’ Twas you that came through the Eluvian with her- if I thought you capable of anything other than brainlessly swinging a sword, I’d blame you for her disappearance.” She glanced at him with irritation. “Most likely she’s back at Skyhold, which leaves me here… with you... joy.” </p><p>He felt his eye twitch at the thought of being alone with the witch- anxiously, he tried to reach out to Sam with his charm. <em>Sparrow, where are you?</em></p><p>There was no response, but the coin was still warm in his pocket, so he breathed a sigh of relief- maybe it was just this strange world preventing them from communicating. “I can’t reach her,” he complained, then looked at Morrigan. He wanted to say something irritating to her, but he recognized that he was not a mage in any way, shape, or form, and she hadn’t wanted him there in the first place- he’d do best to tread lightly. Swallowing his pride, he tried a new tactic- he asked the witch a direct question. “What did you want to show her?” </p><p>Morrigan blinked, obviously not expecting him to be able to hold his tongue. “I wanted to show her the Crossroads… imagine my surprise when she proves to already be familiar with it.”</p><p>Ali just nodded, not trusting himself to get nasty with the woman- Lana may have forgiven her for leaving them in Denerim, but he certainly hadn’t. “While this is an interesting place,” he replied carefully, “What did you need Sparrow for? Why not talk to Lana? Or Leliana? Or Cullen?”</p><p>She sighed, looking around before turning back to him. "I believe Corypheus is looking for an Eluvian to help him find the Black City.” Morrigan looked away, and Ali knew that look- there was more to this than she was telling him. “I wanted to see if she could confirm my suspicions on the matter.”</p><p>“If you’re correct,” he said, mentally restraining himself from yelling at the woman, “where do you think he’s going to find such a thing? And do you think we can get to it before he does?”</p><p> “There are rumors of another intact Eluvian at the Temple of Mythal," Morrigan replied. "If he were to reach it, I fear the destruction he could wreak on the world.” She sighed, then pinched her nose. “While I am loathed to even talk to you as if you have the capacity for rational thought, the girl is right- you are one of the higher-ranking members of the Inquisition…sad as that may be.” </p><p>He pushed past the barb, trying to make sense of the rest of her statement. While he wasn’t stupid enough to think that Morrigan was without ulterior motives, he’d be utterly stupid to ignore the information. <em>The best lies have a grain of truth to them, after all.</em> “Do you know where this temple is?” </p><p>Morrigan looked him over for a moment, checking to see if he was mocking her. When she found nothing of the sort on his face, she nodded. “The Arbor Wilds,” she replied, looking out over the landscape. “If I cannot get Samantha to convince the others of its importance, then maybe you can do it.” </p><p>Alistair nodded, taking care not to commit to anything without talking to his sister first. “I’ll bring this to the others- in the meantime, do you think you might be able to find out anything more about this place? The more information we have, the better.” It was killing him to be nice to the witch, but Alistair knew he didn’t have a choice- if she was right, there was too much riding on this for his emotions to get in the way. “In the meantime,” he said brightly, finally trusting himself enough to let a bit of snark to show through, “do you mind getting us home? This place gives me the creeps… even more than you do.” </p><p>“And just when I think you have a modicum of sense, there goes the idiot again,” Morrigan huffed, turning on her heel. “Come, let us return- I suppose they’d be quite put out with me if I left you here.” </p><p>“Oh Morrigan, you always know just what to say to make a man feel special,” Alistair said dryly, following behind the witch and casting one last glance around the desolate world for Sam. Finding nothing, he threw back his shoulders, working to walk ahead of Morrigan- he didn’t trust her to go first. <em>You better be at home, Sparrow</em>, Ali thought as he stepped through the wavering glass. <em>If not, I’m going to have a lot of explaining to do. </em></p><p class="p1">
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</p><hr/><p>John sat me down on the bed, looking at me curiously. “Not that I ain’t happy to see you, Squeak, but what the hell are you doing in my closet?” He glanced over at Alex, his eyebrows raised in concern. “And who’s this guy? Who, I gotta say, unless I’m extra fucking high today, looks like he’s a ghost.” John leaned toward my ear, not taking his eyes off the pilot. “He <em>is</em> all see-through and shit for you too, right?” </p><p>I nodded, letting out a soft chuckle. “Yeah, I see him.  Some kids get a fairy godmother, but apparently, I get Alex, the ghostly godfather- guess I’m just special.” Suddenly I realized where I was and turned to Alex, my heart starting to race. “Wait a minute- I can’t be here, Alex! Time moves way too different for me in this world and-”</p><p>He waved me off. “Don’t worry about that,” he said dismissively. “You left from the between, so we’re good- I’ll have you back about a second after you left.” He sighed, settling in on the chair across from John and I. “That being said, we don’t have that much time. John, can you get GraceFace for me?”</p><p>He shook his head. “Nah, ‘fraid not- her and the kids are out with Mac and Nick.” </p><p>Alex let out an exasperated sigh. “Of <em>course</em> she’s gone- why wouldn’t she be here when I need to talk to her? Fine," he said, rolling his eyes, "are you able to take a message for me?” </p><p>“I’m a ghoul, not an idiot,” John said drolly, crossing his arms and glaring at the pilot. “A ghoul who's still waiting for answers on why I found you two in my closet, by the way.”</p><p>“Same,” I replied, looking around the room and spying a tricorn hat on the desk and a bra sticking out from underneath the bed. “Wait… is this your bedroom, John?” When he gave me a withering look, I chuckled. “Explains the surprise, I guess.” </p><p>Alex just rolled his eyes. “Anyway… you don’t get to go into any gateways without a guide, you got me? Those Eluvians they got ain’t the same as ours- they’re close, but…it ain’t safe for you to physically be in the Between without backup, kid.” He looked at the closet and scowled. “That witch of yours is playing a game that she ain’t got all the pieces to, and it’s gonna fuck her up, mark my words.” </p><p>Confused, I looked at John, who just shrugged as he took a canister out of his pocket and popped a mint-like thing in his mouth. Seeing that my brother-in-law had no plans on being helpful at the moment, I sighed and shook my head before turning back to the pilot. “Who, Morrigan?” Alex nodded and I shook my head again. “God, you sound like Ali.”</p><p>“He wasn’t wrong,” Alex said firmly, causing John to lean forward slightly. The look on my brother-in-law's face made me sit up a little straighter myself- if John was actively paying attention, then I should probably start listening too. “She’s got a story, but use your brain, kid- I need you to think carefully before you do anything when it comes to her.” </p><p>John’s face went flat, but I gave the pilot a look. “What are you getting at, Alex? And since when can I not be in the Between? I’ve been there all my life- why do I need to stop now?” </p><p>“I said don’t <em>physically</em> be there without backup,” he corrected me. “Lana and I are backup- that brother of yours is a well-meaning slab of meat.” John and I both scowled at him, and Alex ran his hands through his hair. “Look, I can’t tell you what to do- it fucks up the threads, and your mom is already itching to wipe me out of existence as it is. But what I can tell you,” he shot a pointed look at John, “is that I accidentally gave someone a peek into the Between, and if they found out how to move through the worlds,” he said, rubbing his hands together nervously, “then we’re gonna have a problem. And if you guys aren’t careful, then your witchy little friend is about to serve this shit up on a platter.”</p><p>John just frowned, popping another mint from his container. “Any reason we can’t just take care of this now? We still got the element of surprise on our side, right?” </p><p>“I wish.” Alex shook his head, and I stared back and forth between the two men, confused- something was going on that I wasn’t privy to, but no one seemed keen on filling me in. “Roles have to be played- trust me, I don’t like it either, John. But we can mitigate the damage… if this one would stop fucking up!”</p><p>I crossed my arms. “How am I supposed to not fuck up when I don’t have any clue as to what I’m doing right or wrong? A little help would be nice, guys!” </p><p>“Kid…” Alex let out an exasperated sigh. “Look, just trust me, ok? I’m trying my best to help you out here, but there’s only so much I can do.” He turned to John, his face pinched. “Did you warn anyone out there?” </p><p>John nodded, then shifted his eyes to me for a moment before looking at the pilot again. “Yeah, but I don’t know who he told- I asked him to keep it under wraps.” </p><p>Now I was getting pissed- there wasn't a doubt in my mind that they were keeping secrets from me. “That’s <em>it!”</em> I yelled, hopping up from the bed. “I’m sick of you two talking over me! If you got something to say, then just fucking say it!” </p><p>John put a hand on my shoulder. “Sit down.” The mild yet firm tone from behind me sent a chill down my spine, and I dropped wordlessly back down on the bed, fuming. “That shit you just pulled? That right there is why no one is talking to you- you ain’t a planner like your sisters.” I turned to him, my face full of fury, but it didn’t phase John in the slightest. “Don’t get me wrong- you got just as much heart as Sunshine does… but you ain’t got the patience for the long game, Squeak.” </p><p>I crossed my arms in a huff, then looked down at the floor, my hair pooling in front of my face. “You’re putting me at a disadvantage,” I muttered. "If I don't have information, I can't make decisions, guys.” </p><p>“Hey,” John said softly. When I wouldn’t look at him, he tried again. “Squeak, fuck the ghost for a second- I need you to look at me.” Rolling my eyes, I turned to my brother-in-law, who was frowning slightly. “In all the time you’ve known me, have I ever done anything that wasn’t in our family’s best interest?"</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Have I ever knowingly let anything happen to you or your sister?”</p><p>I sighed. “No.”</p><p>“Then trust me- there’s a reason we ain’t tellin’ you everything yet.” He pulled me in for a one-armed hug, and I rested my head on his shoulder. “I promise, the moment I can talk, you’re gonna be the first one I turn to help us fuck shit up, ok?” </p><p>I looked up at John, who was giving me that grin I knew made him a force to be reckoned with around town. “Fine,” I growled, then turned to Alex. “I’m gonna let this go… for now. <em>But</em>,” I said warningly, “I want to talk with you the minute I figure out what the hell is going on with Morrigan- there’s no way she should be fucking around with gateways like that.” </p><p>Alex nodded, reaching for my hand. “That I can do. Tell you what," he said with a weary smile, "when you get back, get the fam together so we can have a chat- getting some help won't be the worst thing.”</p><p>John relaxed next to me as I got up from the bed to go with the pilot, not moving from his place on the bed. As I got to the closet door, he cleared his throat. “Hey,” he called out. </p><p>“Hmm?” I said, turning around before I got to the door. “What’s up?”</p><p>He reached in his pocket, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. “Tell Pavus to hop on the line when we have our little pow-wow- I miss the man. He had good taste in booze.”  I nodded and he took a drag, exhaling a cloud of tobacco-scented smoke. “And Alex?"</p><p>The pilot turned, giving John a bemused look. "Something on your mind, Mayor?"</p><p>"Yeah- as a matter of fact, it is," John drawled, flicking the ashes from his cigarette and staring at Alex intently. "The next time you plan on coming into my house… you better make damn sure you use the fucking front door."</p>
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<a name="section0050"><h2>50. Before I go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Team Mage gets ready to march on the Arbor Wilds</p>
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<hr/><p>“This is a surprise,” Ali said, staring at the crowd slowly piling into his room and turning to look at his wife, who chuckled. “I don’t recall signing up to throw a party, love- care to explain why I'm being graced with the presence of a Sparrow and a Commander at our door?”</p><p>“Not to mention a very well-dressed Altus,” Dorian replied as he strode haughtily past Alistair, making the warden chuckle. “I sincerely hope this gathering has dinner- I would be rather put out if I missed my evening meal otherwise.”</p><p>“Well, we can’t have the great Dorian getting all pouty on us, now can we?” Sam teased, bounding toward him and jumping up to ruffle Alistair’s hair. “Of course, all I have are these hot dogs and snacks…”</p><p>“Give me those!” Lana exclaimed, her eyes brightening. “I’ve been dying for a tasty meal for the longest time.” Sam scoffed, but she ran over to her sister, throwing her arms around her. “I missed you, you incorrigible girl,” Lana whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear. “I’m glad to know you’re safe.”</p><p>“Always, Lana Banana,” Sam replied, then glanced up at Ali. “I owe you an explanation, Ali. Figured I should butter you up with food first, though.” </p><p>He tried to frown at her but couldn't hold it, erupting into a wide grin instead. “You know me so well,” Ali said with a chuckle. “When I asked you to talk to me, however, I didn’t expect it to be such a grand affair, Sparrow.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, it was a requirement,” she replied nervously, glancing over at Cullen, who had quietly taken her bag and was starting preparing the food for the evening. Ali noticed the man looked tense, had since they’d returned from the shrine, but the warden decided not to push it. “Lana," Sam said tentatively, "can you cast a silence spell? We might need some privacy for this.”</p><p>Lana gave her sister a curious look but did as she asked. “So,” Lana asked cautiously, looking around at the people in the room before settling her piercing gaze on her sister, “what is so important that you needed to see all of us this evening?” </p><p>"Time to treat it like a band-aid," Sam replied with a sigh as she lowered her head. “Alex,” she said softly, “we’re all here. Come on out.” </p><p>At the mention of the unfamiliar name, Alistair noticed that both Lana’s and Cullen’s heads snapped to Sam with an intensity that he was concerned they might hurt themselves. “Sam,” Cullen said tersely, scanning the room with a pained expression, “why in the Maker’s name is your godfather coming to talk to us? What has he messed up now?” </p><p><em>Godfather?</em>  Ali thought, giving Sam a confused look. She shook her head, but before she could respond, a mess of brown and blond curls entered the room. “Nothing, yet,” Grace answered,  entering the room with a tense-looking John following behind her, followed by the strange guide who’d led them through the fade. “Surprisingly, he’s doing his job this time.” When she noticed Alistair, she broke out into a wide grin. “Hey, Ali- how’s my newest brother-in-law doing?”</p><p>“Surprised,” Ali answered honestly, running over to Grace and wrapping his arms around her, spinning her in a circle. “But happy to see you- I’ve missed you, Grace!” </p><p>“You’ve just talked to me, you big sap!” Grace replied, laughing as she placed a big kiss on his cheek. “I’m not sure why John’s insisting on us coming, but you know I’m never turning down the chance to see my family.” After Ali released her, she raced to Lana, squealing with delight as she gave sister a tight hug and turning to Sam, clapping her hands over her mouth. “Holy shit, Squeak,” she whispered, running over to pull her youngest sister into a hug, stroking her hair as she choked back a sob. “Don’t you <em>ever</em> fucking do that to me again, you hear?” </p><p>As Sam hugged her sister tight, Ali wrapped his arm around Lana, who was resting her head on his shoulder. “We have family reunions at the oddest times, don’t we?</p><p>“It seems that way,” Lana replied, leaning over and placing a kiss on his lips. Then she looked over at the others, taking his hand and guiding him toward the couch. “While I’m infinitely happy to have my family here,” she pointedly looked over at Dorian, a warm smile on her face that made the Altus blush, “I fear that this visit isn’t a social call.”</p><p>“‘Fraid not,” John replied, looking over at Dorian, who had gone from red to pale within seconds. “This is a strategy meeting.” He glanced over to Sam, who gave a deep sigh. “Squeak, what did you find out from Ali?” </p><p>Alistair swallowed as he pointedly ignored the look he knew he was getting from Cullen- John was getting right to business. “Just that Morrigan thinks she knows what Corypheus is after,” she said quietly. “She says he’s looking for an Eluvian in the Arbor Wilds… and we have a chance to stop him and Samson there.”</p><p>At that, Cullen’s head snapped to his wife. “If you knew this,” he said tightly, sounding as if it was taking all his willpower to stay calm, “then <em>why</em> would you wait to tell us such important information?”</p><p>Not wanting the situation to escalate, Ali decided to step in. “Because it’s Morrigan,” he said dryly, absentmindedly rubbing his hand along Lana’s arm and watching as the others settled in their seats. Cullen had taken to glaring at everyone, but Dorian and Grace just looked at each other and shrugged before grabbing something to eat. Alistair suppressed a chuckle as he watched the indecision flicker across Lana’s face before she gave in, casting a furtive glance around the room before reaching for the food. “You know as well as I do that the woman never does anything unless it benefits her, Cullen.”</p><p>His words seemed to calm the commander, and Cullen slumped into Sam’s arms, slowly relaxing against his shoulder. “I suppose that's true.” Then Cullen craned his neck to look at his wife, and Ali could see that the man looked exhausted- he needed to ask Lana about what had occurred at the temple. “Sam, is what she says true?” </p><p>Sam let out a sigh from her seat on the floor, leaning against the chair Dorian had draped himself across. “That’s the problem- she isn’t wrong, but she’s not telling us the whole story.” Everyone paused to look at her, and she continued, grabbing a cracker and twirling it in her fingers. “She didn't lie- yes, Samson is going to be there, and so is Corypheus. And while I don’t know if they want the Eluvian, I know for damn sure that Morrigan wants something else- a well of some sort.” Sam shivered. “It’s practically vibrating in my ears her every time I’m near her.”</p><p>Grace didn’t even look up from her food. “Doesn’t matter,” she said simply, shoving the last of her hot dog in her mouth. Cullen and Ali looked at her, but she shrugged, licking her fingers. “What? You know the guy you’re looking for is gonna be there- take the opportunity and deal with her shit when the time comes. Besides,” she said as she reached for some cheese and crackers, “if she wants it bad enough to lie to her team, then there’s a good chance the folks you’re hunting want it too.” </p><p>“Great,” Dorian said as he leaned over and refilled his glass of wine. “Looks as if we’re heading right back into battle." The Altus rolled his eyes, then let out a groan. "Judging from the fact that I’m included in this little soiree, I’m assuming I can’t be left here to guard the wine, correct?” </p><p>“Not a chance in hell,” John replied from the couch next to him. “I need people I can trust in fighting at my sister’s side…like <em>family</em>,” he said pointedly, making Dorian pause before taking a long swig of his drink. “Choose your team wisely, Lana Banana,” John said softly, pulling out a flask and taking a sip, then chuckling as Dorian’s empty glass appeared next to him- wordlessly, he poured some of the spirits into it. “That’s gonna be important.”</p><p>Cullen had his head in Sam’s lap, his eyes closed as she stroked his hair. “Do you know if the rune we have will work? Can we use it against Samson?” </p><p>Sam paused, and then her eyes went wide, apologetically flickering to Alistair. “Yes, it will, but… we can’t take you, Ali.” </p><p>Everyone except the pilot swiveled to look at her. “Why the fuck not?” John asked, looking at Sam as if she had three heads. “I just <em>told</em> you I want your family there- why the hell wouldn’t you take him?” He gestured to Ali, his expression a mix of surprise and anger. “This is war, Squeak- you use what you got!"</p><p>Sam shook her head furiously. “Because of Corypheus,” she whispered. “I just saw it. He can… <em>resurrect</em> if there are Grey Wardens nearby.” Her eyes cut over to Lana, her eyes wide. “Oh fuck… Lana!”</p><p>His wife relaxed, shaking her head. “No more taint, remember? Mom removed it when I died…” Lana started laughing softly, then looked over at Alex. “That woman seems to plan for everything, doesn’t she?” </p><p>Alex nodded from his position in the corner, his dark hair falling into his face as he crossed his arms. “Sure does." The ghost gave a tiny shrug. "Guess she really did like you, newbie.” </p><p>John pulled his hat over his eyes and threw his head against the couch. “Thank god for infinitely small fucking favors,” he muttered. “Yo, ghost boy, think you can you send me in instead?” </p><p>Ali let out a laugh, plucking a piece of cheese from the tray at his feet. “No offense, John, while you are a wonderful rogue, you are a terrible warrior- I think we may require someone with a different skillset. Plus,” he replied, looking over at Grace, “you two have children at home- we cannot ask you to do something like this.” </p><p>Before John could protest further, Grace spoke up. “Why not send Cullen, then?” Grace asked, looking at Sam. “He’s not a warden, right?” When Sam shook her head, she continued. “I mean, Ali knows how to lead the troops, and Sam can still do that freaky shit in her head to talk to him." She gave a wry smile, causing Sam to roll her eyes. "Hell, you guys look like fucking lego pieces, may as well use it to our advantage, right?” </p><p>“We look like what?” Cullen asked, looking up at his sister-in-law. Grace just grinned, tossing a cracker at Cullen and hitting him in the head. Ali couldn’t stop the snort that erupted, which made the others chuckle and giggle as Cullen threw the offending item back and hit his sister in the nose. “I’ll admit, it isn’t the worst idea- I would be more than happy to run Samson through with my blade, believe you me.” Then he looked over at Ali, and the warden felt himself biting back a groan- he just knew the next words out of the Commander’s mouth were sure to start a riot. “Who is going to stay behind with Sam?” </p><p>Sam swiveled her head toward her husband with such speed that it made Alistair dizzy. “<em>Excuse me?</em> I <em>know</em> I didn’t just hear you say that I’m supposed to stay behind and watch my family wade into this barrel of fuckshit?” Cullen looked at her and started to say something, but she held up a warning finger. “No. You’re gonna listen to me today, Cullen Rutherford… Let me make this shit perfectly fucking clear for the people in the cheap seats- I am going with my sister.  Look, I know I'm not strong, I get that. But I am one of the most powerful people in this goddamn room- you don’t get to tell me I don’t get to go because you think I’m some precious fucking flower, Cullen.” </p><p>Cullen’s mouth opened and closed for a minute, stunned into silence by his wife’s outburst. He looked around to the others in the room, but everyone looked away, unwilling to get into an argument when it was obvious that Sam was in the right. Finally, it was Lana who spoke, closing her eyes as she leaned forward, the mark sending off soft green sparks into the air. “She’s right, Cullen- she’s the only one that would allow me to move through the battle quickly. You’ve seen it yourself- we all took down hordes of darkspawn in Denerim working together. She’s also the only one besides me in this room who’s fought the bastard- Sam is first on my list, always.” </p><p>“I’m inclined to agree,” Dorian said quietly, his eyes darting back to John. “With the three of us, I think we would be covered on the magical front, considering we have Morrigan. And between you and Bull, we’d have adequate protection. The only other I would suggest is Varric or Sera so we could get some long-range cover, but that’s it.”</p><p>“You can take Varric- I want Sera,” Ali piped up, looking around the room. “If I’m fighting with the troops, I want her at my back- Sera is deadly with a bow and arrow. Besides, all that magic would just make her jumpy- no sense irritating her when we could put that anger to good use.” </p><p>“Well damn,” Grace said with a grin, pouring herself a glass of wine. “ Not that I’m complaining about the company and food, but you guys had this covered- John and I were just the peanut gallery over here. ” </p><p>Dorian glanced at her husband, then extended his glass over to Grace's, clinking it gently. “Nonsense, Grace- extra input often helps, and we can talk freely in your presence. Besides, who else brings such wonderful spirits to our gatherings?” </p><p>“While I don’t disagree,” Alex replied, causing the room to turn their attention to him. “I think I got a bit of advice you should consider… not telling you anything outright cause I don’t want to <em>fuck anything up</em>,” he said pointedly, “but you might want to take a minute and consider what you're gonna do about your witch, now that you know she’s on bullshit.”</p><p>Ali looked at the ghost, realizing that he was trying to tell them something without giving too much away. “Any suggestions?” He looked at Sam and smirked. "Personally, anything that might ruin Morrigan’s day seems like a smashing idea to me.”</p><p>“Hmmm.” Alex looked at the warden, and Ali could swear he saw a twinkle of mischief in the ghost’s eyes. “If I were you,” Alex said carefully, his eyes roaming across Sam’s face before settling on Lana, “I’d give her idea some consideration… might be worth it later.” The ghost shrugged, then rested against the doorframe, looking as nonchalant as ever. “But remember… it’s only a suggestion.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>After we’d exhausted the limits of Alex’s patience and my family had returned home, Cullen and I strolled across the ramparts to our apartment, both of us quiet in the night air. We hadn’t had the chance to talk before we went to Lana’s- he’d come in, made sure I was alive, and then raced off to the undercroft to talk with Dagna. While I didn’t mind the abrupt greeting, I was a bit worried about him- if I hadn’t gone with them because of the lyrium stash, I knew it had to be bad for him. That, coupled with the added stress of Morrigan’s news, made me feel terrible for snapping at him back there- I needed to apologize.</p><p>Taking a deep breath in the night air, I threaded my arm through his, prompting him to place a kiss on my head and murmur into my hair. “You’re scaring me, love.”</p><p>Surprised, I looked up at him. “What did I do now?”</p><p>“You’re quiet,” he joked, bringing my hand to his lips. “In my experience, that’s never a good sign with you.” </p><p>For a moment, I felt like my brain had short-circuited as I looked up at my husband, who was now laughing at me. “Oh, can it, Metal Man,” I retorted, bumping against him. “And to think, I was just about to apologize to you, too.”</p><p>He raised an eyebrow as we entered our quarters. “Not that I’m complaining, but why would you go and do a thing like that? What, is the world ending even faster than before?”</p><p>“Seems like someone’s got jokes tonight,” I retorted, climbing up the ladder to the bedroom. “Anyway, you should come up and talk with me for a minute… before I get a better idea.”</p><p>Soon, my husband’s curly blonde head popped up on the ladder, giving me a grin that I had no idea I’d missed so much. “I should hope that better idea involves me,” he replied, resting his chin on his folded arms as he watched me cross the room. “I’d be rather put out if it didn’t.” I chuckled, taking off my clothes and pulling on one of Cullen’s shirts, making him raise an eyebrow at me. “I believe you’re wearing the wrong shirt, dear wife.” ‘</p><p>I shook my head happily, sliding into the bed. “Nope- been sleeping in it since you’ve been gone. It made me feel a little less alone at night when you were gone.” </p><p>At that, Cullen vaulted up the rest of the ladder, crossing the room in what felt like seconds and stripping the remainder of his armor. “Well I’m here now,” he whispered, getting into bed and pulling me close, tracing patterns along my arms with his fingers. “No matter what, I’m always going to be there for you, Samantha.”</p><p>“I know,” I replied, leaning up to place a kiss on his temple. “I’m sorry, Cullen,” I murmured, running my hands through his hair and leaning my head against his. "I didn’t mean to yell at you back there- I know you just want to keep me safe.” </p><p>“Hush,” he said, placing a finger on my lips. “You don’t have anything to apologize for, love- I was wrong to downplay your skills.” When I let out a soft gasp, he let out a soft laugh as he placed a kiss on my collarbone. “It’s just hard,” he admitted, wrapping his arms around me. “I see all this war, all this fighting, and all I want to do is hide you away, yet you insist on rushing in headfirst to save the world.” Cullen shook his head. “My impossible wife,” he murmured, leaning against my head. “I know I have to let you go, but do you know how hard that is? To send the woman I love more than anything in the world off into the unknown?” </p><p>I started to say something, but he stopped me, pressing a finger to my lips. “I thought that being without you at Kinloch was hard, and I thought that being apart from you in Kirkwall was going to rip me in two.” He let out a soft huff, his warm breath ruffling my hair. “Those times were nothing compared to the feeling of that connection winking out right before my eyes, Sam… it was like half of my soul had been stripped away from me that day.” He tilted my head to him, his eyes bright. “Maker, Sam… I’m sorry if I’m being an overprotective ass, but I can’t help it- I can’t lose you like that again. My heart can’t take it,” he whispered, clutching me to his chest. “Wherever you are, that’s where I’ll be, Sam… in this life or the next.” </p><p>“Cullen,” I said, trying to talk around the lump forming in my throat, “I love you more than anything else in this or any world- I need you to know that.” </p><p>“I do.” He leaned back against the wall and we fell into a comfortable silence, letting the world pass us by for a while. <em>The war will be there when we wake up</em>, I thought as I closed my eyes, feeling the steady thump of his heart in my ears and the weight of his fingers running through my hair.<em> But right now, I just need him. </em></p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Lana was walking through the garden, trying to wrap her head around the issue that had been brought to her. “Are they sure they want my help with this? I”m a warrior, not a damnable politician, Cass!”</p><p>The seeker just looked at her with amusement. “You are not just a warrior and you know it, Lana. As much as you deny it, you cannot hide the fact that you are a formidable leader- why do you constantly downplay your skills? You are the leader of the Inquisition, Lana. You are leading the team that is saving Thedas!” She turned to her, her eyes full of determination. “I do not understand- time and time again, you have done everything in your power to help your friends and allies, myself included! How could you even think you aren’t worthy of being a leader?”</p><p>“Because I…” Lana let out a sigh, stopping at a nearby bench and sitting down, placing her head in her hands. “Because when it counted, no one wanted me to rule, Cass- they were ready to take the love of my life away from me… just because I’m a mage. All my skills, all my decisions, all my efforts... they meant nothing.” Lana looked up, trying to keep the tears from spilling out of her eyes as her friend sat down next to her. “No matter what I do, I still feel worthless,” she admitted, turning to look at her friend. “To be honest, it still baffles me that I’m here.” </p><p>“Well, you should,” Cass said firmly, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I think you are a fine leader, Lana… not to mention a good friend.” </p><p>Lana looked between her fingers and stared at the seeker. “Then I don’t suppose there’s any chance you could make this easier on me and just decide to become Divine, is there?” </p><p>"I'd prefer not to," Cass replied with a laugh. “But, if that’s truly what you think is best, I won’t object. However," she teased, sitting next to her and shoving her gently, "I think we might be better served by talking to Sam before we start bandying names about for something so important, yes?”</p><p>Lana finally cracked a smile, raising her head and turning toward her friend. “I suppose you’re right. And speaking of talking,” she said tentatively, hoping Cass wouldn’t shut down on her again, “are you ready to talk about what we found back there? I know it was bothering you quite a bit before.” </p><p>“Ah,” Cass replied, looking down at her hands. “I… read the book Lucius entrusted to me, and I discovered some things.” She let out a sigh, putting her head in her hands. “It seems we can reverse the rite of tranquility- the seekers knew how to do so all along.” She looked at Lana with such disappointment in her eyes that Lana instinctively reached over and hugged her friend, letting her sag against her shoulders. “When did everything become so <em>wrong</em>, Lana? We used to be better than this!” Cass hissed. "The Seekers were <em>more</em>… we were just, we were true! Why…” The seeker sighed, resting against Lana and going still. “I want to restore the Seekers,” she whispered. “I don’t want this to be our legacy- I want history to remember us… for the <em>right</em> reasons.”</p><p>“Then I’ll help you,” Lana said resolutely, looking over at the woman who deserved better than the legacy of corruption the Seekers had left behind. “Whatever you need, I’ll be there, Cass.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Cullen and Alistair were leaning against a fence, watching the troops run drills in preparation for the upcoming battle. “You look like you’ve been doing this all your life,” Cullen remarked casually, shooting a glance over at the warden. “Ever think about doing it permanently?”</p><p>“Are my ears deceiving me, or is my brother offering me his job?” Ali crossed his arms and turned to look at him, a bemused expression on his face. “Funny, it almost sounds like you’re thinking of retiring.” When Cullen just looked away, Ali’s eyes went wide. “Wait… you're serious, aren't you?”</p><p>Cullen sighed, looking over at the troops. “I want a life,” he said finally. “I’ve made so many mistakes over the last decade, Ali… and I’ve put way too many things above what should matter most.” He shook his head and smiled as he looked over at Sam, who was talking animatedly with a healer nearby. “You’re the husband of one of the most amazing women Thedas has ever known- I can’t think of anyone who would do a better job leading her troops… well, other than me,” he said with a smirk, trying to goad the warden into a smile. </p><p>“And what would you do?” Ali asked, his tone curious as he fixed him with a piercing stare. “I’d never take you for the type to be content to settle into oblivion, Rutherford.” </p><p>“Help people,” Cullen said firmly, crossing his arms and closing his eyes. “The Templar order doesn’t have to be like this- Samson should have never been left to go down this path. There was a better way- I’m living proof of that,” Cullen said softly, absentmindedly rubbing his arms. “Sam… has studied addiction, and she’s a great healer. I’d like…” He let out a deep breath, trying to let out the nerves he felt. “I’d like to start a place for Templars to recover from lyrium. I know how hard it is to do it alone, but I also know it can be done… and it <em>should</em> be done.” The commander looked over to the warden, expecting to be teased mercilessly, but to his surprise, Alistair was quiet. His silence made Cullen nervous- the warden was never without a joke or a quip, and Cullen didn’t think that him laying out his desires would be enough to stop his brother from relinquishing an opportunity to mock him. </p><p>“Took you long enough,” Alistair said quietly, causing Cullen to snap his eyes to the warden. “I’ve been waiting for the last decade for you to figure out that you’ve been missing out on a life with that woman.” Ali’s brown eyes were soft and kind, and Cullen was relieved to see no judgment or ridicule in them. “Will you finally take my sister to meet your family?” </p><p>“You aren’t mad?” Cullen asked, trying to wrap his mind around Alistair’s reaction. It was like he was seeing two different people in front of him- on the one hand, he saw the failed templar, the joking Grey Warden that was too scared to do anything except defer to Lana. But he also saw his brother, the man who fought valiantly for the last ten years, the man who took care of his wife when he couldn’t, and the warden who now fought side by side with the leader of the Inquisition. He might have been too scared to stand up for Lana all those years ago, but he’d more than made up for his mistakes in the time since. Blinking, Cullen ran a hand to the back of his neck, feeling foolish despite Ali’s calm demeanor. “I can’t lose her again, Ali… I know it’s not fair to you, but there’s more to life than this… and I want to spend the rest of mine with her.”</p><p>“So you plan to just shove all your shit on me, is that it?” Ali asked, but he was smiling. He must have noticed how uncomfortable Cullen was because he clapped a hand to his shoulder, a gentle smile playing across his lips. “I understand,” he said softly. “If Lana wasn’t leading this effort, I’d be doing the same thing you are. You’ve been holding things together for a long time… I think it’s more than fair that someone else takes a turn to stop the world from falling apart.” Then the warden looked over and saw Sam, raising his hand in a small wave of greeting. “Just… promise me you’ll take care of them,” he said quietly. “When we’re out there, I need you to do what I can’t- protect the women I love with your life, Rutherford.” </p><p>Cullen nodded, feeling nothing but gratitude for the man who wasn’t just his oldest friend, but his family. “I promise,” he replied, extending his hand to Alistair. “I will bring them back to you safely, and you can go back to being completely inappropriate with my wife and a damnable pain in my ass on a daily basis.” </p><p>Ali laughed, then looked back out over at the troops. “And when the time comes for you to hang up your sword, you can rest knowing that your family here will always be safe under my watch,” he said, clasping Cullen’s hand in his. “So end this battle quickly and bring them home, Rutherford- you’ve got a life to start living when this is done."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Lana was nervous as they set off for the Arbor Wilds- Cullen was working with Alistair to make sure the troops were prepared, but he was sure to keep a careful eye on his wife. Lana could hardly blame him- since no one wanted a repeat performance of what happened at Adamant, <span>everyone was watching over Sam</span><span>. Ali had made a show of being extra jovial, staying up with Dorian and Sam to make sure she always had someone nearby, and Lana kept her ears open for any signs of distress. She knew they were being paranoid, but she couldn’t bring herself to let anything happen to her sister again- she’d already paid dearly for not paying attention the first time. </span></p><p>As they were trudging through the campsite, Lana had inquired about Sam's health for the umpteenth time, making her sister finally turn to her with her hands on her hips. “Lana, I’m <em>fine</em>, I promise.” Before Lana could open her mouth to protest, Sam had a finger waving in her face. “Seriously, I’m good- no Nightmare around this time, remember? Everyone’s business is their own unless I go looking for it… and trust me, I’m not looking for a damn thing right now.”</p><p>Lana sighed, twirling the hem of her robe in her hands. “I didn’t mean to make you angry, Sam… I’m just worried, that’s all.” She looked over at Ali, who was talking to Cullen. “It’s going to be hard, knowing he’s not with us... especially now.” </p><p>Sam put a hand on her shoulder, then smiled. “His path is fine, Lana. Believe you me, I’ve checked my brother’s path time and time again- you know I’m never letting anything happen to him.” She looked out over at the field, frowning. “Honestly, <span>I’m</span><span> more scared about us going up against the Birdman- it’s another fixed point, and I can’t see past it.” </span></p><p>Lana raised her eyebrows, trying to process what her sister was telling her. “Like Haven?” </p><p>Sam nodded. “Yeah, just like that. Nothing beyond the darkness.” She frowned for a moment, then waved as Solas approached them, his face the picture of calm. “Hey, Solas,” Sam said cheerily, giving the elf a bright smile. “You’re gonna keep my brother safe out here, right?” </p><p>“I was actually more concerned about you,” Solas replied, giving her sister a smile of his own. “Are you all right, Samantha- I know you had some difficulties last time-“ </p><p>“Like I already said, I’m <em>fine</em>,” she answered, her tone a little harsher than usual. Running her hands through her hair, she caught herself and blew out a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” she said apologetically. “Look, I know everyone means well, but when everyone keeps asking me the same damn question all the time…” Sam shook her head, then smiled again. “I appreciate your concern, Solas, but I’m good this time- there’s no demon amplifying the magic out here.” </p><p>“True," Solas replied. "The very air even seems different this time.” Then the elf nodded, looking over at Lana. "Are you sure you don’t need my services on this journey, Inquisitor?” </p><p>Lana shook her head. “Morrigan seems quite insistent on our destination, and Sam and I are quite a destructive force together. With the added services of Dorian, we seem to have a veritable magical arsenal at our fingertips.” She smiled at the elf, then gestured to her husband. “I’d feel much better with you assisting Alistair- though Dorian wishes to deny it, he’d be terribly distracted if he weren’t with Bull. Having you and Vivienne serving to assist the troops will make me feel infinitely more comfortable about leaving my husband behind.” </p><p>Solas smiled, placing a hand on Lana’s shoulder. “Of course, Inquisitor, I was only suggesting in case you needed assistance with the Elven ruins you might encounter.” </p><p>“Nah, she’s got the freaky version of Google translate at her side,” Sam said proudly, draping an arm over Lana's other shoulder. “Don’t worry, Solas- if I find anything interesting, I’ll pull you to the side for a chat about it later.”</p><p>“I’d like that very much,” Solas replied. “You and I haven’t had the time to converse in your dreams much lately- I’ve found myself missing the sights and stories of your dreamscape, Samantha.” </p><p>“Then keep my brother and our friends safe out there, and you and I can totes have a convo over coffee,” Sam said, reaching over and hugging the elf. “I’m counting on you, Solas.”</p><p>Surprised by the sudden contact, Solas smiled, hugging her back awkwardly before pulling away. “If the reward is one of our delightful conversations,” he said warmly, “then I’ll be more than happy to watch over them, Samantha.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>No matter what he did or how much he prepared, Alistair couldn’t shake the feeling that it was too soon to let his family go off into battle without him. Rolling on his side, he looked over and saw Lana resting next to him, her eyes closed and her red hair splayed out across the pillow, and he felt his heart start to ache at the sight of his sleeping wife. <em>Maker knows she’s the bravest woman I’ve ever known,</em> he thought, leaning over and placing a soft kiss on her nose. <em>If anyone can do this, it’s her.  </em>Even with the light contact, Lana’s eyes fluttered open and looked at him lazily, still clouded over with sleep. No matter how many times he looked at her, Alistair always found himself surprised to see bright green where the color of the summer sky used to be. “Waking me up already?” </p><p>“An added benefit.” He smiled, tracing her cheek with his finger. “It was more like trying to keep you in my mind before you go, beloved.” </p><p>She threaded her fingers in his and inched closer, curling up against him. “I couldn’t get you off my mind if I tried,” she said softly. “Maker, this feels wrong," she pouted. "Why is it always so hard to leave you behind?”</p><p>“Because you know I’m meant to always be with you,” he murmured, taking her hand and kissing the wedding band on her finger. “When you have the most wonderful woman in the world as your wife, you tend to want to be with them as much as you can.”</p><p>“That must work both ways,” Lana whispered, placing a kiss on his lips and running her thumb over the stubble on his chin, “because I never want to leave my husband’s side.” </p><p>“Then I’m doing something right,” Alistair said with a smile, bringing his hand to her cheek. Seeing her next to him and knowing she had to leave him made him shudder, clutching her to him tightly, hoping that if he held her tight enough he could stop time from tearing them apart.  <em>If I went with you, I could make sure you’re safe,</em> he thought wistfully. </p><p>As if she could read his mind, Lana smiled sadly, green eyes locked to sad brown ones. “I’ll be fine, Alistair.” </p><p>Alistair now knew what Cullen felt like when he had to watch Sam leave, and he sighed, resting his head against Lana's.  While they had been apart before, this time just felt <em>different</em> to him- he wasn’t used to being explicitly told he couldn’t go with her, and to make it worse, it was during a mission where he knew he was sending her off into imminent danger. For him, it was too close to a time she’d sent him off all those years ago… and he never wanted to feel like that again. “This is the hardest part,” he admitted. “I left you in Denerim, and…”  His voice trailed off, and Lana closed her eyes, knowing exactly what he wasn't saying. “I should be with you,” Alistair said firmly. “I’m your husband- I should be at your side.” </p><p>“You’re always with me,” Lana replied, kissing him gently before wrapping her arms around him. “And no matter what, I’m always coming home to you.”</p><p>“I will hold you to that,” he said softly. “Because I know from experience that my life is empty without you, love.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>On the morning we were set to leave, I woke up in the morning to an empty bed and voices outside my tent, making me groan with irritation. Rolling over and getting dressed in my armor, I rolled my shoulders, desperately trying to calm my nerves. <em>You and Lana got this,</em> I told myself. <em>You’ll be fine. Everyone will be fine.</em>  I went to my bag to check it over, and after making sure I had all my supplies I tied my hair back into my ponytail, my fingers running over the button Mom had given me what felt like a lifetime ago. <em>How old are you now,</em> I wondered as I laced my boots, trying to keep my breathing steady.<em> I feel like I’ve lived a hundred years at once.</em></p><p>“You doing all right there, kid?” </p><p>I whirled around, nearly jumping out of my skin as I saw Alex standing in the corner, his grey eyes slowly taking in the surroundings. “What are you doing here, Alex?” I asked, leaning against one of the wooden stakes that held up the tent. “Besides giving me a goddamn heart attack, that is!”</p><p>“Checking on you,” he said mildly, walking over and hugging me. “Didn’t want a repeat of last time out here.” </p><p>“Like I already told everyone, I’m <em>fine</em>,” I huffed. “Well, I’m as fine as someone can be heading off to war. And now that we’ve assessed my mental state, you’re good to go- I don’t need everyone worrying about me.” </p><p>“That’s my job,” he said kindly. “Worry is part of the standard package, kid.” </p><p>“You’re not my dad,” I snapped, then instantly felt like a bratty little kid- parent or not, Alex was looking out for me, and here I was being an irritable piece of shit. “Look, I’m sorry… I don’t mean to be an asshole about this, but I’m just tired of everyone looking at me like I’m gonna break at any moment. I can’t have them worried about me while this is going on… they need to focus.”</p><p>“Hate to break it to you,” Alex said good-naturedly, “but just because I ain’t have the pleasure of makin’ ya doesn’t make me any less family, kid. Your mom asked me to look out for you if she ever couldn’t, and I’d say this qualifies.” I scoffed, but he just chuckled. “You’re in the home stretch, Sam-it's my job to make sure you get there.” He stepped outside the tent and I hurried after him, desperate to head off the questions about the strange man heading out of my tent, but when he saw my face, the pilot just laughed. “Can’t nobody see me but you right now.” He paused, then turned back to me with a grin. "Well, maybe Pavus could, but that’s a different story, ain’t it?”</p><p>“Is it that bad?” I asked quietly, moving to stand beside him and watching the camp come to life around me- Josie was talking with Celene and Briala, while Cullen was with Alistair, no doubt going over last-minute plans.  “Is my family gonna be ok?”</p><p>“You know as well as I do that I can’t answer that,” the pilot said gently, placing an icy hand on my arm and making me shiver.  “Are you really willing to give up everything for them?” Alex asked softly, glancing over at Cullen. “You know as well as I do that you don’t have to be here, kid."</p><p>I sighed, looking over at my sister talking with the Empress. As I stared, Lana must have felt me looking at her, because she turned around, giving me a wave and a bright smile. “They’re family,” I said softly. “I can’t leave them.” </p><p> “You wait too long and you might not have a choice in the matter,” Alex warned. “She’s tired, kid- it’s happening one way or the other, and you stalling ain’t gonna change it."</p><p>“This isn’t a choice I should be making,” I replied bitterly. “This isn't my problem, Alex... it never was.”</p><p>“So you’d make Lana deal with it? Or Grace?” Alex snorted, then crossed his arms. “You know she doesn’t give anything to anyone without a reason, and you’re too good of a person, kid… you wouldn’t do that to them.” </p><p>“I’m allowed to be selfish,” I said crossly, mimicking his pose and staring at him angrily. “I spent my whole life on the fringes… why is it that the <em>one</em> time I’m actually living my life and giving a shit about what happens outside my room, <em>that’s</em> when I have to deal with this bullshit? Well, fuck that," I spat, glowering at the ghost. "I don’t want it anymore! She can just get someone else to deal with it- I'm out!” </p><p>He just gave me a look. “You already know who’s gonna have to deal with it, Sam… it’s always your choice, but you realize that neither of them is going to be in a position to say no if she comes to them about it… you sure you can live with that?” </p><p>“But that isn't what I want anymore,” I replied bitterly, staring at the ground and biting my lip. “I just want to have a future, Alex... is that too much to ask?”</p><p>“For people like us, it just might be,” he replied sadly, squeezing my shoulder lightly. “But I’m gonna do my damndest to make sure you get to live the life you want, so don’t go dying out there, ok?”</p><p>“I’ll try to bring this body back in good condition,” I joked, feeling a lump in my throat as I stared at my husband, his armor gleaming in the morning sun. “But thank you, Alex… for everything.”</p><p>“You don’t ever have to thank me for this kind of thing,” Alex replied, placing a kiss on my forehead. “That’s what family is for, kid.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Man, this chapter hit me in the <em>feels</em>- maybe it's because we only have five more chapters left with these guys... sniff!</p>
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<a name="section0051"><h2>51. I give up. No one has learned a damn thing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lana &amp; co search for the Temple of Mythal</p>
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<hr/><p>“You!” Alistair wiped at his sweat-soaked brow as he barked at the soldier running up the path. “Report!”</p><p>The young man snapped to attention, staring at him nervously and saluting. “Sir! We have red templars approaching from the east! The troops require aid or they’ll be overrun soon, Sir!”</p><p>Alistair groaned. <em>How does Cullen do this</em>, he wondered as he led his team to assist the others. <em>How has that man not gone absolutely insane by now?</em> “Team,” he shouted to the others at his side, “offer as much support as you can! We cannot let them reach the Inquisitor and her team!” </p><p>“Time to show em’ the pointy end!” Sera shouted, scrambling up a tree and firing off arrows as she found a spot in the branches. “Keep those weirdos away from Quizzy and Sparrow, ya bloody id’its!” </p><p>Cass frowned as she raced next to Alistair, cutting down a templar that was charging at them. “Must she <em>always</em> act like that?” </p><p>“I’d be more worried about her if she wasn’t,” Alistair said, ducking as one of Solas's bolts of electricity sailed over his shoulder. “She may be uncouth, but she’s a damn good shot.”</p><p>“Oi! I heard that!” Sera yelled out, sending an arrow whizzing from the trees and into a templar that was charging up behind Cassandra. “Keep haven’ a row at me n’ I’mma let the next one take a chunk outta yer arse, ya stupid git!” <br/>
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“You do that and I’m telling Sparrow it was you!” Ali yelled out, attacking one of the sentinels that were rushing one of the mages. “And you know she’ll get Lana to nug roast you!”</p><p>“Oh shut up and just get to killin’ these fuckers,” Sera growled, leaping from the branches and guiding Briala’s archers deeper into the fray. “‘Sides, we got trouble up ahead!” She jerked up, pointing into the distance. “The magicky folk ain’t lookin’ so hot, Cheesy!” </p><p>Alistair whipped his head around, only to see what looked like a Grey Warden charging at Fiona and her mages. His heart started to sink as he noticed the barrier surrounding them start to flicker- he needed to get to them quickly. Ali was racing as fast as he could, but he could tell that he wasn’t going to make it before their spell gave out. “Hold on! We’re coming!” </p><p>Fiona glanced over her shoulder for a second, a pained look in her eyes before she turned back to lob more spells at her attacker. Frantic, Ali turned to the seeker, desperately trying to think of something and drawing a blank. “Cass, we have to-“</p><p>Suddenly, everything went quiet and still around them- Alistair spun around and breathed a sigh of relief to see Sam standing behind him, her face twisted up in concentration. Turning to him, she gave him a pained smirk.“Yo, you gonna stand there gawking, or do you wanna handle those big fuckers while I’m holding this down?”</p><p>Not willing to squander any advantage he could get, he gave his sister a curt nod and went to take down the frozen warden. As he ran, he heard heavy footfalls next to him and turned, finding Cullen running at his side. The commander smirked as they ran, cutting down any frozen templar in their path. “Fancy meeting you here,” Cullen teased, leaping behind the creature and stabbing it in the neck. “Good thing our favorite angry apostate got us slightly lost, isn’t it?”</p><p>Alistair gave a relieved laugh as he dispatched the last enemies, then turned to Cullen as he put his head between his legs to catch his breath. “You mean to tell me not only did I get an assist, but I get to revel in the fact that Morrigan was wrong about something?” He turned his head, giving the Commander a tired smile. "Is it my name day and someone forgot to tell me?” </p><p>Cullen just laughed, placing a hand on his shoulder as he helped him back to the others where Lana was waiting. Alistair gave a half-hearted wave and was rewarded with a relieved look from his wife as she saw him exit the clearing. “Possibly,” replied the commander, giving the warden a heartfelt smile as he clapped him on the shoulder.</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>As the sun rose higher and higher in the sky, Varric felt his heart thumping against his chest as they made their way to the temple. After leaving Ali and the troops, Sam suddenly decided to take the lead, vaulting over branches and stones at a breakneck pace. “Hurry,” she hissed, leaping over a boulder and crouching behind a log with a grace he’d never seen her display before. “Bird boy and asshat are right up ahead!”</p><p>“How do you even know that?” Dorian shot back, getting caught on a branch and almost letting out a tortured yelp before Bull came to untangle him. Varric caught the exchange but said nothing, too busy being worried about his foolhardy friend to even tease the Altus. Once he was free, Dorian scowled at the direction Sam had headed off to. “We’ve been traipsing around these woods for hours and <em>now</em> she decides to be the expert on how to get here?”</p><p>“Normally, I’d be rather put out at you for questioning my sister,” Lana replied as she stepped gingerly over a partially hidden vine.  Casting a silence spell over the party, she approached the log Sam was crouching down behind, then looked at her questioningly. “But I must admit, I’m rather curious as to the sudden burst of inspiration myself, Sam.”</p><p>“Alex told me,” she whispered, her eyes darting over the landscape. “He scouted ahead and gave me a vision of the temple... but we have to hurry- they’re almost there!” Varric didn’t have a clue as to who she was talking about, but he was quite happy that someone seemed to know what was going on right now- it felt like Morrigan had been leading them in circles, and it seemed like she was growing haughtier with every wrong turn. The dwarf watched as Sam bit her lip, her eyes locking with Lana for a moment before finding her husband. “I think I’m going to go ahead, see-“</p><p>Before he could say a word in protest, Lana snapped at her with such fury that it made Varric want to shrink back. “You will do no such thing,” she barked, thrusting an angry finger in Sam’s face. “Not only is it dangerous and idiotic, but you are the only one who knows where we’re going- what sense would it make for you to leave us?” Her sister gave her a resigned look, but Lana ignored it and pointed to the west. “Now lead us to the temple, Sam!” </p><p>Sam just sighed as she grabbed Lana’s hand and pointed it northward. “Um… it’s that way, Lana Banana.” </p><p>Varric found himself biting back a chuckle as Lana turned slightly red, standing up from her crouching position and brushing off her robes. “Oh,” she said simply, giving her sister a sheepish grin before clapping her hands together and turning back to the group. “Well, at any rate,” she replied brightly, “it's time for us to be off- at least we'll be heading in the right direction this time."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>As we crouched over the balcony and watched Corypheus and Samson approach the temple, I leaned forward, desperate to see what was going on. Even though there was a contingent of elves blocking the walkway, looking like extras from Lord of the Rings, the Magister paid them no mind. As he approached, one of the extras put up a hand, looking like a medieval crossing guard. “Your time comes, darkspawn!” </p><p>Corypheus scoffed, turning to Samson. “Ha, these are nothing but remnants- they will not keep us from the Well of Sorrows.”</p><p>With that, I shot a dirty look at Morrigan, who shrugged. <em>That lying bitch</em>, I thought to Lana. <em>Can she ever do anything without being a goddamn snake?</em></p><p><em>It’s not important,</em> Lana replied, never taking her eyes off the scene unfolding in front of us. <em>What’s more important is us stopping him now- we can worry about her later. Grace warned us that the two of them were likely after the same thing- we just have confirmation now.</em></p><p>Somewhere in my mind, I was secretly hoping that we could get through this whole endeavor without any trouble. I was perfectly ok with someone else rolling up and solving all of our problems, too- I could care less about being the one to end Birdman and his crew. So when some weird magic struck Corypheus down like he was a whore that owed it money, I secretly cheered- if that’s all that it took, then I damn sure wasn’t going to be the one to complain about it.</p><p>To our dismay, Samson didn’t even stick around to sweep up the bits of his boss before taking advantage of the chaos, casting an angry glance over to us before guiding his templars further into the temple. “We have to go after him!” Cullen yelled, making his way to the bridge. “We cannot let them get away!”</p><p>“Agreed,” Morrigan said, following close behind him. “They cannot be allowed to find this well they seem to want.”</p><p>I wanted to tell her to cut the shit, but I realized we had a bigger problem ahead as a funny feeling began to settle in the pit of my stomach. As we made our way to the bridge and stepped over the pile of bodies the explosion had left, I remembered what was bothering me- panicked, I grabbed Lana’s arm. "We gotta get out of here… like now!” </p><p>Cullen frowned, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword. I wholeheartedly agree,” he replied, his eyes darting across the dead littering the ground. “Samson is heading into the temple as we speak!”</p><p>“It’s not just that,” I said nervously, looking at Dorian- he was a necromancer, so I was sure he could feel what I was feeling. “Remember why I said Ali couldn’t come with us?"</p><p>Dorian’s eyes widened, finally realizing what I was saying, and he started to run. “She’s right! We have to get across the bridge! Now!” </p><p>His tone brokered no argument, and we all took off at a run as the essence of the darkspawn magister slid over to one of the Grey Wardens he had with him, reforming itself into the monstrous shape we’d fought back in Haven. Running as fast as our feet could carry us, I could hear the screeching of the dragon rapidly approaching, and all I could think was <em>'oh god, I’m about to be on the wrong end of a nug roast if we don’t get across this goddamn bridge fast enough.’</em></p><p>Morrigan turned into a raven and flew across the bridge, but Cullen wasn’t taking any chances- with one quick motion, he’d scooped me into his arms and launched himself inside the temple. Looking back, I saw Lana and Dorian sprint past us, with Bull clutching Varric like a tiny doll as he made it inside. “Start closing these doors!” Cullen yelled, his muscles straining as he and Bull started pushing the doors shut. “Sam, can you buy us some time?” </p><p>Trying to push past the red lyrium that was swelling in the air, I nodded. “I’ll do what I can!” Struggling to pause time, I grabbed Lana to use some of the power from the mark, straining to slow down time enough to give the others time to shut the doors. Thankfully, the air started to waver as the doors inched closed, clicking shut just as the dragon approached, ramming into the doors with enough force to toss us all backward. </p><p>For a split second, I was sure those doors were going to splinter open, shining-style, but a magical barrier appeared over the entrance, shimmering and holding it shut. “Well fuck,” I muttered, shakily getting to my feet, “that was a fuckton closer than I wanted it to be.” </p><p>“Agreed,” Lana replied, looking around at all of us before taking in the temple. “Is everyone all right?” Her eyes rested on mine, full of concern. “Sam? How are you-“</p><p>I cut her off, reaching in my bag and pulling out my emergency Red Bull. “I’m fine,” I said quickly, drinking half and handing Cullen the rest. Lana’s eyes went wide at the perceived slight, but she smiled when I refilled the can and handed it to her. Happily, she took a long swig, yelping as Dorian snatched it out of her hands and chugged the last of it down greedily. “Glad to see you’re still ok,” I joked, refilling the can and packing it away. “Hope everyone is ready… looks like we gotta go inside.” </p><p>Varric wheezed, giving me a look of pure ‘what the fuck’ before looking around the chamber. “So, I’m not the only one that just saw a statue fry the bad guy out there, right? And you guys want to go trudging along inside here?”</p><p>“No choice,” Bull rumbled, making his way deeper inside. “Samson and his crew are in here, so we gotta follow.” He offered Dorian a hand and the Altus took it, conspicuously looking away before I could say a word. “Either of you got any idea where we need to go?” </p><p>I made a sweeping bow to Morrigan. “You seem to know what they’re looking for,” I said pointedly. “Lead the way.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Cullen was looking around, trying to calm his racing pulse- he’d been fidgety when Sam insisted they follow the petitioner’s path instead of leaping into the chasm behind Samson, but upon meeting the elves deep inside the temple, he’d been glad they hadn’t listened to him. After conversing with Sam in their tongue, the leader had offered them an alliance but made it perfectly clear that he would make sure that the Well of Sorrows would not be despoiled by anyone. This statement was met with an indignant shriek from Morrigan, who had gotten angry and changed into a bird, screeching down the hall in a flurry of dark wings. </p><p>“Well,” Sam said quietly as they followed behind their elven guide, heading deeper inside the temple, “if we didn’t know she was on bullshit before, we definitely have confirmation now.” </p><p>“The witch who abandoned us right before a battle before abandons us again? Color me surprised,” Cullen muttered angrily as he took Sam’s hand in his. “Remind me why we even played along with this in the first place, love?”</p><p>“Because we needed to get to Samson and Corypheus,” Lana interjected, brushing a cobweb away from her face as they moved through the darkened hallway. “And we were advised to let events play out as they would, remember?”</p><p>Cullen growled as they made their way up the stairs, seeing pinpricks of light from up ahead. “I remember, but that doesn’t mean I have to like the idea of that witch putting my family in danger for her own purposes,” he grumbled. “You’re too nice where she’s concerned, Lana… and she knows it.”</p><p>“I realize that, Cullen,” Lana said softly, blinking as she emerged into the sunlight. “It’s just… if it weren’t for Sam, I could’ve been just l<span>ike</span><span> her,” she said softly, casting her eyes downward and avoiding the eyes of their companions. “Angry, academic, ruthless… sound like someone else you know?”</span></p><p>“Hero,” Varric said gently as they moved down the path, “No matter what you think, you aren’t like that… I’ve heard the stories, not to mention you’ve already died for the greater good- you’re a decent person, Lana.” The dwarf put a hand on her shoulder, and Cullen watched as Lana closed her eyes. “Don’t ever think you aren’t.”</p><p>“The dwarf’s got a point,” Bull said with a smile. He started to say something else, then frowned as he stooped down to examine something on the ground. “They’re nearby,” he said, looking up at Cullen. “We should get ready.”</p><p>Cullen’s hand immediately went to the satchel on his hip, grabbing the rune that Dagna had helped them create. “I want to destroy him,” he said tersely, his fingers tracing the stone etchings before reaching for his sword. “He needs to pay for Haven… for the Order… for <em>everything</em>.”</p><p>He could feel the eyes of his wife on him, but Sam didn’t say a word. Instead, she turned away and stared at Lana for a few moments, then gave a curt nod of her head before turning back to him. “He’s not far,” Sam said softly, her ring starting to glow as magic from the mark flowed into it. “Get ready, everyone.” </p><p>They rounded the corner, and just as Sam had predicted, Samson was standing in front of them, surrounded by red templars. <em>These used to be our brothers</em>, Cullen thought angrily, looking at the monstrosities flanking Corypheus’s general. <em>He did this to them.</em> “Samson!” Cullen yelled, brandishing his sword. “You will pay for what you’ve done!"</p><p>Turning, Samson just sneered at him. “Why am I not surprised to see the golden boy trailing behind the Inquisitor like a well-behaved cur?” Laughing menacingly, he cut his eyes to Lana. “First Meredith, now her?” He scoffed. "You’re always at the foot of some bitch, aren’t you, Cullen? Poor little broken templar, unable to cut it on his own?”  </p><p>At the mocking words, Cullen saw red. “How could you do this to the order? To Maddox?” He glared at the man he’d once felt sorry for, a burning intensity pooling behind his eyes. “That man died for you, Samson!”</p><p>Samson shrugged noncommittally. “At least he died as one of the faithful… unlike you.” He gave an equally hateful look to Cullen, who was practically heaving with rage. “You and your idiotic companions don’t even know what it is you seek!”</p><p>“We know you seek the Well of Sorrows,” Lana replied, moving to Cullen’s side. “What I don’t understand is why you and your master want it so badly!” </p><p>Cullen faltered for a moment, wondering what she was doing- he was quite confused as to why she and Sam weren’t plowing through him and the templars right now. He wanted to ask his wife about it, but he refused to take his eyes off the traitor in front of him. But before he could say a word, Samson let out a scoff. “Wisdom... though I doubt you’d understand, <em>Mage</em>… the kind of wisdom I seek can scour a world- if I give it to Corypheus, he could walk into the Fade <em>without</em> your precious anchor.” He turned back to them, a twisted smile on his lips. “At least being force-fed Chantry lyrium was good for something,” he said cooly. “This armor makes my mind and body a living fortress- with it, I won’t forget a word of the Well’s knowledge, and Corypheus will be unstoppable!”</p><p>“Yeah, until he gets tired of you and casts you aside,” Varric said angrily. “I’ve had the pleasure of seeing your master in action before- I don’t think he offers a great retirement package.”</p><p>“I will be different!” Samson hissed. “I will <em>not</em> be cast aside again!” Then he turned to Cullen, holding out his hand in a mocking gesture. “Aren’t you tired of serving at her leash? Join us, Cullen… taste the power this holds!"</p><p>“Never!” Cullen said vehemently, reaching into his satchel and feeling his heart crash to his feet as he felt around for the rune, only to find it missing. <em>Oh no</em>, he thought frantically, <em>where is it? We have to destroy that armor!</em></p><p>Suddenly, Sam appeared in front of them, brandishing the rune. “You know,” she said angrily, you talk too fucking much.” She raised her arm and Samson let out a shriek as the rune activated, sending him crashing to the ground. “Not so goddamn tough now, are you? I hope this shit hurts,” she spat, using her power to pin him to the ground. “I hope it hurts like <em>fucking hell!”  </em></p><p><em>“My armor!”</em> Samson howled, his eyes full of fury as he discovered he was unable to move. “What did you do to me, you apostate bitch!”</p><p>“You wanted power,” Sam hissed, glaring at him with an intensity Cullen had rarely seen on his wife’s face. “So I just showed you what true power is… and how it feels to have yours taken away.” A split second later, the templars started to approach, and she immediately snapped her head up. “Lana!” Sam barked, “I need a nug roast, now!”</p><p>“Got it!” Lana cried. She raced forward, placing a hand on Sam's shoulder and sending up a shower of flames around the templars, incinerating them on the spot. </p><p>Cullen watched with a sick sense of pride as the twisted forms of the Templars began to burn, and he and the others raced forward to speed up their demise, dispatching the smoldering enemies with ruthless efficiency. Samson howled with agony and rage, but he couldn’t do a thing- Sam was holding him firmly in place, a wicked smile playing across her lips. “That man you were talking shit about a moment ago?” She leaned down, her face inches from his. “That’s my husband… and I don’t take too kindly to pieces of shit like you talking trash about him."</p><p>Once the Templars had gone, Cullen glanced over to his wife- despite her bravado, he could tell that she was rapidly running out of power.  Her shoulders were starting to slump, beads of sweat were pooling on her brow, and the ring was a sickly shade of black. Not wanting to take a chance on Samson breaking free, Cullen raced over to them, brandishing his sword at Samson’s throat. “Move and you’re dead,” he hissed, the blade resting against the man’s jugular. “Actually, please move- I’d love nothing more than killing you where you stand, you bastard.” </p><p>“Better idea,” Sam said, grabbing a rock and slamming him in the face with it. The templar’s eyes rolled back into his head, and he hit the ground with a sickening thump. “He wasn’t worth it,” she said quietly, looking up at him. Her face was haggard, but her eyes were shining brightly. “You would have killed him and you didn’t need that on your conscience, Cullen.” </p><p>Breathing heavily, he took a step back from the man- his wife was right. He’d been moments away from murdering Samson without a second thought. “I… you’re right,” he said softly, looking away. “Is he…”</p><p>Bull bent over, then shook his head. “Nope, Squirt isn't a murderer either- he’s still breathing.” He cocked his head over at Lana. “So, what do we do with him, Boss?” </p><p>She looked down at him, then turned to Sam. “Call Ali- tell them to bring Samson back to Skyhold for judgment,” she said harshly. She was about to say more, but the figure of the elven leader ran past her, channeling magic to form a giant staircase into the mountains. “Abelas!” Lana cried, but the elf ignored her, racing up the magical stairs as if she’d never spoken.<em> “Fuck!”</em> Lana hissed, running her hand through her hair as she used one of Sam’s favorite curses. “He’s going to the well!”</p><p>“Then what are we waiting for!” Sam said, getting shakily to her feet. “Break’s over people- looks like we got a well to get to.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>As they raced after the sentinel, Lana felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She knew that both Morrigan and Corypheus were after the well- out of the two of them, she’d rather the witch be the one to take it by a mile. However, she also knew that the guardians had no intention of letting either of them have it, and she didn’t want to experience the chaos that would certainly ensue, so she chased after the elf as if the world depended on it. <em>To be fair,</em> she thought as she flew up the stairs, <em>knowing our luck, it probably does. </em>Taking the stairs two at a time, she raced up to the top, coming to a stob behind Abelas as he stood at the edge of a large pool.</p><p>Morrigan flew up, transforming back into her true form and blocking his path. The witch glared at the elf but noticed Lana appearing behind him. “You heard him!” Morrigan yelled, thrusting an angry finger at the elf. “He seeks to destroy the well!” </p><p>“Well…” Sam huffed from behind her, “… maybe… we’d be more sympathetic to your-“ Lana turned around to see her sister bent over, her face flushed with exertion and trying to catch her breath, “...fucking cause if we knew why the hell you two wanted it so fucking bad!”</p><p>Abelas ignored Sam, glaring at Morrigan with rage. “So the sanctum is spoiled at last… I should have known.”</p><p>Morrigan shot Abelas a look, her arms crossed in front of her in defiance. “I see not why it matters- you would have destroyed the well yourself, given the chance!” Lana started to say something, but the witch continued angrily. “He’s a fool,” Morrigan hissed. “He’d let his own pride condemn his people’s legacy to rot in the shadows!"</p><p>“If it keeps it from your grasping fingers, then yes!” Abelas spat back vehemently. “Better for it to be lost than bestowed upon the undeserving!” </p><p>“Much more so than Corypheus!” Morrigan exclaimed, turning to Lana. “He will be back, you know… you may have stopped Samson, but the moment he finds a new vessel, he will return. Are you willing to let that much knowledge slide into his grasp? Would you not rather have it at your disposal?”</p><p>Lana glanced at her sister, but her sister just looked at Morrigan with an impassive expression. “And what do you want us to do about it? Look, you’ve had a plan all this time- how about you share it with the rest of the class?” Sam gave the witch a hard stare. “I’m tired of being fucked with, Morrigan- you’ve been trying to use us to get here all this time, so I’mma need you to tell us why… now.” </p><p>“We can use the power of the well against him,” Morrigan said firmly, staring out into the surface of the pool. “Let me be the vessel… I will carry the secrets holds so Corypheus cannot.” </p><p>Abelas looked at Sam, then turned back to Morrigan, a resigned expression on his face. “Do you even know what you ask?” He turned to the pool, his shoulders hunched with exhaustion. “As each servant of Mythal reached the end of their years, they would pass their knowledge on... through this.” He turned back and looked at Morrigan again with disgust. “All that we were… all that we knew… it would be lost forever.”</p><p>Confused, Lana stared at the elf. “So destroying it is a better option than letting Morrigan take it?” She turned to Sam, trying to make sense of the situation. “How does that even remotely make sense?”</p><p>Abelas sighed. “I do not agree with it, but I cannot deny that there is righteousness within you- most of you have shown respect throughout your journey, and the young one here speaks in the tongues of old.” He looked at Sam, then back to Morrigan. “Those who drank from the Vir’Abelasan paid a great price… they were bound to the service of Mythal for eternity. Are you sure you wish to pay such a cost for the knowledge you so dearly seek?”</p><p>Dorian cleared his throat, looking at Sam before focusing his attention on the elf and the witch. “So, Mythal was an actual god, then?” </p><p>“Does it matter?” Abelas asked. There was no more anger in his expression, only sadness as he turned to Lana, his body stiff with tension. “Is that truly your desire? To partake in the Vir’Abelasan to fight your enemy?” </p><p>Lana started to speak, but she felt the prickles of Sam inside her mind. <em>Don’t you do it</em>, she warned. <em>Magic like this comes at a cost- if she wants it so bad, then let her pay it.</em>  </p><p>For a moment, Lana wanted to disregard Sam’s warning- she felt a burning ache to take all the knowledge that would be at her fingertips, but her sister’s words and the guide’s warnings made her quickly shove the desire aside. “What of the price?” Lana asked, shaking off the notion. “What is the cost of such a gift?”</p><p>Abelas nodded with approval. “No boon of Mythal ever came without a cost.” He turned back around, then stared at Morrigan. “The knowledge inside the well may prove to be too much for a mortal to comprehend.” The elf looked at Sam, his expression giving nothing away. “You may want to consider your vessel wisely.”</p><p><em>Wait- is he suggesting that you take it?</em> Lana asked Sam quietly, her eyes never leaving the elf in front of her. <em>Do you think-</em></p><p><em>No,</em> Sam said quickly. <em>There’s not a shot in hell I’m drinking from that well- I’ve got one cosmic debt hanging over my head already, and I’m damn sure not looking to add another one. Let Morrigan do it… she wants it so bad, let her pay the fucking price.</em></p><p><em>Will she survive?</em> Lana looked at Morrigan, whose eyes were gleaming as she stared at the pool behind them. <em>The elf said-</em></p><p><em>Fuck the elf- you know what Alex told us,</em> Sam replied tersely, crossing her arms. <em>Let Morrigan do it, Lana- you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. </em></p><p>“I am the appropriate choice,” Morrigan said haughtily, pushing her way forward and standing in front of Abelas, her mouth fixed in a distasteful sneer. “Besides, there are no gods, only legends left to placate a people content to let the world pass them by.” She turned her head to Lana, her expression decisive. “Let me do it.” </p><p>Lana reached out, placing a hand on Morrigan’s shoulder and turning to Abelas. “Are you sure Mythal is not still here?” Morrigan gave a huff, but Lana paid her no mind- if she was to possibly condemn her friend to a life of servitude, she wanted Morrigan to enter the bargain with her eyes open. “Is it possible some form of still lives?”</p><p>“Doubtful,” Morrigan answered. “Elven legend states Mythal was tricked by Fen’Harel and banished to the beyond- I doubt she remains.” </p><p>Abelas scoffed. “Elven <em>legend</em> is wrong- the dread wolf had nothing to do with her murder.” He looked over at Sam, then back to the others. “But I suggest you ask the one who sees- I’m sure she can tell you the truth.”</p><p>Sam looked at Lana with confusion, then turned back to Abelas. “I really don’t have a fucking clue what you mean- I’ve never heard of Mythal before coming here,” she said nervously. “How would I know anything about it?” </p><p>“I didn’t mean you,” he said, turning to walk away, making Lana frown as she contemplated who he might be referring to. “But it matters little- my service is done.” Abelas gave Lana one last look before turning away. “I hope you find that in which you seek- may your journey prove worthwhile.”</p><p>As the elf headed off into the distance, Sam shook her head, letting out a deep sigh. “Well, I gotta give it to her,” she said, gesturing to what looked like a mirror standing next to the well. “She was right about the Eluvian, at least.”</p><p>“Small favors,” Cullen mumbled, then his eyes widened. “Wait, what happens if we take the well? Could Corypheus still use these Eluvians to cross into the Fade?”</p><p>Morrigan shook her head. “No. As I told your wife and the moron, usage of these generally requires a key. Your sister,” she said, looking at Sam pointedly, “is the only person I’ve ever seen that was able to activate an Eluvian without one.”</p><p>“Yay for being special,” Sam grumbled, taking Cullen’s hand in hers. “Now that we’ve gotten that settled, how about we do less talking and more getting the fuck out of here? I’m pretty sure someone is gonna notice when his right-hand man doesn’t come back with all the secrets of the world in a lyrium-tinted box.” </p><p>“I agree,” Morrigan said, standing on the edge of the pool. “Enough stalling- the time has come.” She turned to Lana, her gaze intense. “Lana, my friend… do I have your consent to take the knowledge from the well? I won’t find myself frozen by your sister’s hand if I choose to do so, will I?”</p><p>Lana looked at Sam, who gave her a curt nod before turning away. “Morrigan,” she said sadly. “If you wish it, the well is yours. But please, be careful- this seems to be a high price to pay.”</p><p>The witch turned to Lana, her eyes dancing over the well eagerly. “I do not fear the whims of a long-dead god,” Morrigan whispered. “For knowledge such as this, I am willing to pay the price a thousand times over.” She looked over her shoulder, giving Lana one last glance before wading into the water. “Thank you, friend… for trusting me."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>I stood off to the side as Morrigan took the power from the well, sending the water crashing over us in a frigid wave. Irritable and wet, I watched as Lana raced over to her to help her up, and I shivered. “Dumb bitch,” I muttered, shivering in the still air. “She still has no idea what she’d just done- you never make deals like that without knowing what you’re getting into!” </p><p>Dorian moved over, sending a wave of heat over me and drying me off before turning his attention to Cullen, who looked like a wet dog. “You sound like you speak from experience, Sam.” He looked over at Lana and Morrigan as they talked to each other in the remnants of the well. “Care to elaborate?” </p><p>I shook my head. “Not really,” I replied, earning a raised eyebrow from my husband as he looked me over, no doubt checking for injuries. “I just want to get out of here.” Sighing, I turned around, only to see a dark shape flying toward us, and my stomach dropped when I realized what it was. “Guys!” I screamed, panic quickly threatening to overtake me, “he’s coming! We gotta get the fuck outta here- now!” </p><p>Without hesitating, Morrigan activated the eluvian, waving us all toward the glowing portal. “Inside! Quickly!”</p><p>She leaped inside the shimmer and practically shoved Lana inside, who was quickly followed by Dorian, Bull, and Varric. Only Cullen and I remained and I tried to shove him inside, wincing as he planted himself in the ground to stop my efforts. “I can’t go in there!” I yelled, not taking my eyes off him. “You have to go… now!” </p><p>“There’s no way I’m leaving you!” Cullen howled, brandishing his sword. “I’m staying at your side!” </p><p>“Like hell you are! I can teleport, you idiot!” I screamed, pushing him inside the glass with all my might. His face was frozen in surprise as I shoved him through, but I’d rather him be pissed off than dead. Turning around, I saw the magister arrive into the alcove and I swallowed, glancing at the Eluvian behind me. Rationally, I knew I couldn’t go through on my own- Alex had warned me about that specifically, and I wasn't keen on ignoring his warning, particularly not after the events of the day. But the magister was rapidly approaching, and I was running out of time- closing my eyes, I tried to teleport out, only for nothing to happen.</p><p><em>Fuck me twice,</em> I thought, my eyes darting across the courtyard.<em> I'm out of power- thanks a lot, Samson.</em> With a sinking heart, my eyes flitted between the rapidly approaching magister and the Eluivian.  <em>Well, if I can't teleport, I damn sure can't fight Big Bird,</em> I thought as I raced toward the Eluvian. <em>Sorry, Alex, </em>I said to myself as I leaped through the wobbling glass, hearing it shatter with a resounding crack behind me,<em> I guess</em> <em>I’ll just have to deal with the consequences later.</em></p>
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<a name="section0052"><h2>52. See you at the Crossroads</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The team returns from the Arbor Wilds, but they have a few revelations along the way</p>
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<hr/><p>As they tumbled out the Eluvian, Lana looked around desperately, shocked to see the interior of Skyhold instead of the forest. Eager to be away from the temple, she glanced up at Morrigan, who was standing over her- the witch was looking at Lana with concern, so she put on a fake smile in the hopes of reassuring her.  “I’m fine,” she said shakily. “Is everyone all right?” </p><p>Varric just grunted, pulling himself to his feet. “How is it that I went through most of my life never dealing with magic, but the moment I start hanging out with you Amell’s, I constantly find myself ass-deep in freaky shit, Hero?”</p><p>“It’s part of our charm,” she replied with a hesitant smile, which instantly disappeared when Cullen came through the mirror. “Where’s Sam?” </p><p>His eyes widened, scanning the room expectantly. “Wait, she’s not here?” He looked at Lana, no doubt trying to see if she was toying with him in some way. When he realized she was serious, his face went ashen. "She shoved me through and said she’d transport herself back- she should be here!”</p><p>“Her connection is still active,” she whispered, just loud enough for Cullen to hear. “She’s alive, Cullen- you know she is.” Her eyes darted over to Dorian, who looked around the room nervously. “Are you all right?” </p><p>“I’ll be fine,” Cullen insisted. “But the fact remains- my wife is missing and the rest of our party is stuck in the wilds.” He looked over at the others, the nervousness on his face was evident. “I think that leaves us in a bit of a situation, don’t you?” </p><p>Lana knew he was right, but she had no intention of having this conversation in front of everyone- she needed to find somewhere private and plan.  “Morrigan, that was a lot to deal with back there- are you okay?” </p><p>She waved her off dismissively. “I have to… sift through some things.” The witch started to walk away, stopping to place a hand on the wall and catch her breath. “Do you need me, Lana?”</p><p>“No,” she replied, earning her an indignant look from Cullen. Recognizing her brother-in-law was about to cause a scene, she placed a hand on his arm. “Cullen and I need to discuss some things, then check around the fortress for Sam.” Lana offered Morrigan what she hoped was a sincere smile as she tried to keep the commander from running out of his skin. “But thank you for the offer, Morrigan.” </p><p>The witch turned, giving her a nod before leaving the room. No sooner had she left, Cullen had rounded on her, his face thunderous. “You let her <em>leave</em>? With Sam trapped out there?” </p><p>Lana’s eyes quickly darted between Bull and Varric, causing Dorian to clear his throat. “I don’t know about you,” the mage said, his voice louder than usual, “but I require a drink after that little excursion of ours- anyone care to join me?” </p><p>Too polite to call them out on the obvious attempt to get rid of them, Bull nodded, placing a meaty hand on the Altus’s shoulder and turning to give the dwarf a pointed look. “You in, Varric? First rounds on me- anything to bleach this crazy shit out of our heads.”</p><p>“Sounds like a plan to me,” Varric replied, but paused as he looked over at Lana and Cullen. “You need us to help you look for Sparrow, Hero?” </p><p>“No, but thank you,” she replied, looking pointedly at Cullen. “I have a few things and places I’d like to check before I sound the alarm- however, I’ll be sure to do it before everyone gets too in their cups. In the meanwhile,” Lana said with a smile, grateful for Dorian’s intervention, “I think you should enjoy your rest- it’s well earned.” </p><p>“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Varric said, turning his attention to the Commander. He didn’t make eye contact with the dwarf, but he nodded. Too smart to question it further, the dwarf turned to follow Dorian and Bull, shooting one last glance at Lana and Cullen before leaving the room. </p><p>“Lana,” Cullen said, his voice wavering with either worry or anger, “I certainly hope you have a plan to find your sister… considering you just sent away all the allies we have, not to mention the only person around who can work this maker-blasted mirror!”</p><p>“I do,” Lana replied, ignoring his outburst as she touched a finger to the glass. It remained smooth and still beneath her touch, sending a slight shiver down her spine. “Alex,” she called out softly, her eyes darting to and fro across the chamber, “can you hear me?”</p><p>“Always, newbie,” came the reply as the ghost emerged from the shadows, his hands in his pockets. As Lana and Cullen stared at him, the pilot let out a sigh, running his hand over his head and resting it on the back of his neck as he leaned against the wall. “Judging by the long faces you two are sportin', I take it the kid isn't back yet.” </p><p>“So you know where she is!” Cullen said eagerly, fidgeting nervously. “Is she safe? Can you take us to her? Will-“</p><p>Alex held up a hand, stopping Cullen mid-sentence. “She’s fine,” he said slowly, “but I can’t take you to her.”</p><p>Something about the way he said that made Lana pause- she turned to the pilot with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. “And why not?” Lana asked shakily. “What in the world could possibly be so important that you cannot get me to my sister?”</p><p>“Because,” Alex said sadly, looking back and forth between them, “she’s with her mom.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>When I stepped through the Eluvian I expected to go into the between, and maybe be on the receiving end of another tongue-lashing from my dead godfather. What I did <em>not</em> expect was to enter my garage door and see my dad’s feet sticking out from underneath the Impala. Shocked at my unexpected arrival, I let out a strangled gasp and backed into the toolshed and sent things flying to the floor with a clatter, startling my dad and making him whack his head. “Sonofabitch!” Dad yelled, sliding out from beneath the car. “What the hell is going on out there?”</p><p>“Dad,” I croaked, clutching my hands to my mouth as I stared at him. Watching as his shocked face turned into a bright smile at my appearance, I raced over to my father, tossing my arms around his waist. “I’m so sorry!” </p><p>“No worries, Pipsqueak,” he replied, squeezing me tight and placing a kiss on the top of my head. He was probably getting grease all over me, but I could care less- I was home and with my dad right now. “I’ve missed you, kiddo.”</p><p>“I missed you too,” I whispered, burying my face in his chest as he walked me in the house. “I don’t know how I’m here, but I’ll take it.” Pulling away and looking at my greasy and dirt-covered clothes, I gave him a sheepish grin. “Think I got time to take a shower before the other shoe drops?”</p><p>“I’ll make sure of it,” he replied, placing a kiss on my forehead and wrinkling his nose. “Because you smell terrible.” I let out a gasp and swatted at him, and Dad gave me a shocked look. “What? I don’t get it- why do you always come back smelling like something died, Pipsqueak?"</p><p>“Because I’m out there killing things!” I squawked, chuckling as he struggled to hide his laughter. “If I weren’t so happy to see you, I would be so mad right now!”</p><p>He pointed toward the house, a teasing smile on his face. “Go be mad in the shower,” he replied, laughing as I punched him in the arm. “And if you hit me again, I’m telling your mom.” </p><p>“So you can dish it out, but you can’t take it,” I retorted, blowing him a kiss as I made my way into the house, stripping off my armor and leaving it in the garage. “And don’t burn my stuff!” I yelled over my shoulder as I walked into the house. </p><p>As I looked around the kitchen and trailed my fingers along the counter, I realized that everyone was probably worried about me. I knew time moved differently here, but I wasn’t quite sure how much time had passed for them. I made my way to my bathroom, reaching out for my husband- I knew he had to be going out of his mind. <em>Cullen</em>, I said, turning on the shower,<em> I’m safe.</em></p><p><em>Sam!</em> Cullen replied frantically, and instantly my heart began to ache for him.<em> Thank the Maker you’re ok! Alex told us you were with your mother.</em> He paused and I smiled, getting in the tub and pulling the curtain closed. <em>He won’t take me to you</em>, he said bitterly. <em>I need you with me, Sam- I can’t do this without you, love.</em></p><p><em>I love you,</em> I replied, letting out a sigh as the water hit my body. <em>I’m here for some reason, though I’m not sure why just yet- I’m just thankful for the chance to take a shower while I’m here. </em></p><p><em>I’m worried beyond belief and you’re out there bathing?</em> Cullen replied irritably. <em>Don’t you think you should be hurrying along to get back to us?</em></p><p><em>Dad wouldn’t let me do anything before I took a shower</em>, I replied, washing my hair and thinking about the blowdryer with an eagerness that surprised me.<em> You have no idea how happy I am to see a working toilet right now, Cullen. I feel like…</em> I started to say ‘like I’ve died and gone to heaven’, but I decided against it, given my history<em>. I feel like a kid in a candy store,</em> I said finally. <em>Somehow, I think I’m here for a reason. </em></p><p><em>Just come home to me,</em> he said desperately, making me pause to run my fingers across my soapy wedding band. <em>I don’t care how wonderful the shower and the toilets are- you belong here… with me.</em></p><p>Something about his words made me pause, and I felt a cold shiver run up my spine, despite the warmth of the water flowing over me.<em> I… I love you,</em> I whispered, knowing it wasn’t an answer to his question but hoping he wouldn’t push it any further. <em>Let Lana know I’m okay, will you? I’ll contact you guys after I talk to Mom.</em></p><p><em>Come home to me,</em> Cullen repeated, making my heart sink- he’d picked up on my non-answer.<em> I love you, Samantha Rutherford- you belong here.</em> I tried to push past his words as I wrapped myself in a fluffy towel, but his voice in my head was insistent. <em>Lana needs you, Ali needs you- <span class="u">I</span> need you… come home to us, Sam.</em></p><p><em>I’ll talk to you when I finish with Mom,</em> I whispered, ending the connection and staring into the foggy mirror, extremely happy that I couldn’t see myself in the glass. </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>After ending the conversation with Sam, Cullen raced into Lana’s quarters, not even bothering to knock since Ali wasn’t home. “Lana!” Cullen yelled, looking around the room frantically. "Where are you? I need to talk with you… right now!”</p><p>“Cullen?” Lana said quizzically, staring at him as she emerged from the back of the room. “What’s going on with you?” She paused, then pursed her lips. “Is something wrong with Sam?”</p><p>Too frustrated to think straight, he couldn’t focus on her question. “I need you to reach out to Grace, post-haste,” he said quickly, his eyes searching for the box where he knew Lana kept her phone. “It’s of the utmost importance.”</p><p>Her eyes widened but to her credit, she didn’t question him- instead, she walked over to her dresser, pulling out a lockbox and reaching for a key dangling from her neck. “This is about Sam, isn’t it?” </p><p>He nodded, pacing across the room like a wounded animal. “She is indeed at home,” he said bitterly, watching as Lana’s fingers moved maddeningly slow over the screen. “Please,” he murmured to himself, “<em>please</em> let Grace be available right now.”</p><p>Lana didn’t say a word as she held up the phone, staring at him with concern as she settled on the couch, inviting him to sit next to her. As he did, Grace’s face appeared on the screen, and he immediately took the device, eschewing the pleasantries. “Grace, I need to ask you a question,” he said quickly. “Would your mother keep Sam with her?”</p><p>Grace just stared at him as Lana drew in a sharp breath, clutching his shoulder tightly. “Um,” she said hesitantly, biting her lip, “why do you ask that?” </p><p>Her non-answer wasn’t helping matters- as he watched Grace squirm slightly before settling into a mask of calm, his nerves went haywire. “Because she’s there with her right now,” he replied, “and she’s not being clear about whether she’s coming back.”</p><p>“But she loves you,” Grace replied, her eyes focusing on something off-camera for a moment before returning to Cullen. “She loves you both.”</p><p>“You haven’t answered my question,” Cullen shot back, trying to fight the impatience creeping into his voice. Lana was still as a sheet, watching the scene unfold in front of her. “I need to know, Grace.”</p><p>“You already know the answer,” she replied sadly. “If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have called me, Cullen.” </p><p>“Then get me to your house,” he said firmly, staring at her and trying to keep himself together. If it weren’t for the tight grip Lana held on his arm, he couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t drift off into nothingness at the moment. “Alex took her there,” Cullen spat. “You’re one of the smartest people I know- figure out a way to get him to take me to her… now.” </p><p>“It doesn’t work like that,” she said grimly. “Mom probably already knows what you’re planning, Cullen- look, if that woman has a plan, there’s not much we can do about it.” </p><p>“I wouldn’t say that,” a voice said from behind them. “Say what you will about your mom, GraceFace, but the woman always gives you a choice.”</p><p>Cullen whirled around to see the tired form of the pilot staring at them, a pained look on his face. “Alex,” he said pleadingly, “<em>please</em>, for the love of the Maker, take me to my wife… she needs to know how much I need her.”</p><p>“Trust me, kid,” Alex said flatly, staring at the image of Grace on the screen. “Squeak knows- you ain’t ever gotta doubt that.” He sighed, sitting on the back of the couch. “Question is, Grace, what are you willing to do to let her be happy?” He turned to Lana, his expression grim. “Or you, Newbie.”</p><p>Grace blinked, her expression reflecting the same confusion that had to be on his face. “I’m not sure I understand,” she said slowly. “What does this have to do with me or Lana? Is Mom playing at something?”</p><p>Alex scoffed. “Always,” he replied. “Been that way since I met the kid, why should it stop now?” Three sets of eyes turned to the pilot, and he sighed, staring down at the floor.  “Sam’s got a destiny,” the pilot said sadly. “But even though it’s her choice, her mom has backup plans,” Alex said, looking at Grace. “I mean, you mean to tell me that out of all those centuries, you didn’t think that it was a <em>little</em> funny that she didn’t have any other kids besides you two?” Grace’s eyes narrowed, and Alex chuckled. “You never wondered why she and I didn't have any kids?”</p><p>“Personally, I try to avoid any thoughts about you fucking my mom,” Grace spat. “And if it weren’t for the fact that I met John, I’d still owe you a shot in the mouth for getting me sent out here, Alex.” Lana and Cullen turned to look at the pilot, but Grace just scoffed. “<em>Someone</em> sent a video of me getting into a bar fight to my mom and dad,” she hissed, her eyes blazing. “I’m about 95% sure it was him.” </p><p>“Then let me ease your little mind,” Alex said simply, ignoring the venom in her tone. “It was. You had a destiny to fulfill and we needed you to make a decision.” He sighed, looking over at Cullen and Lana. “Nia manipulates choice, guys- she can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do, but if there’s even an inkling of you taking that action, then she can control it. Like Sam coming to Thedas in the first place,” he said with resignation. “When Sam made the choice to travel, that was all her mom needed to set things in motion."</p><p>“All well and good,” Grace interrupted before Cullen could start to think too hard about what he was saying. “But what does this have to do with me and Lana?” </p><p>“She’s gonna give Sam a choice,” he said quietly. “ But if the kid doesn’t take it, your mom has two backups.” He looked pointedly between the two women, sending a shiver down Cullen’s spine. “And I’m pretty damn sure the two of you won’t like those options.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Lana was reeling with shock as she and Cullen left her quarters, desperate for some fresh air. “Do you think she’ll do it?” Lana whispered, clutching Cullen’s arm. “She wouldn’t stay there, would she?” </p><p>“If the choice is to stay so she can protect you and Grace, then I cannot say,” Cullen said sadly. “She loves you two just as much as me, if not more.” His eyes roamed across the courtyard and settled on Morrigan with a grimace. “Bloody hell,” he spat, looking at the witch, “If it's all the same to you, I’d rather not be around that woman right now.” </p><p>She started to agree with his assessment, but a throat cleared in their direction before they could head off- the witch had spotted them. “Lana, I have some information for you!” </p><p>Cullen rolled his eyes, but Lana gripped his arm in a silent plea to be quiet. “Morrigan,” she said tiredly, “is it at all possible that this can wait? We are both-“</p><p>“I understand you two are moping about at the disappearance of your sister,” Morrigan said dismissively, ignoring the pain on their faces, “but this is about how we can defeat Corypheus.” </p><p>Lana sighed- as much as she wanted to focus on getting her sister back to them, she still had a duty to the world to rid it of the magister. She stole a glance at Cullen, who looked like he was at war with himself- he must have felt similarly. Resigned to having a conversation she had no interest in having, she squared her shoulders and turned to the witch. “What have you found out, Morrigan?” </p><p>“The voices from the well have shared much with me,” she replied eagerly, “but in order to unlock its full secrets, I must pray to Mythal and ask for her favor.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes. “While I think it pointless, I would be a fool to not acknowledge that words have power- I need to go to a place where the power flows, one not despoiled by time.” Her eager expression fixed on Lana, then darted to Cullen. “I understand you are waiting on word from Samantha, Commander, but if we can get word on how to win this war, would your wife not want us to take it?” </p><p>Biting back the irritated response hovering on her lips, Lana gave a curt nod of her head. “This is all well and good, Morrigan, but with our troops still gone, we don’t have days to embark on a long journey,” she said morosely. “Due to our impromptu exit and Sam’s disappearance, I’m afraid we are at a disadvantage at the moment.”</p><p>“Ah,” Morrigan said, rising from her bench and closing the book she had in front of her, “You see, that is where you are wrong, Lana- we have the Eluvians.” Her eyes lit up with excitement, and Lana had to put a hand on Cullen’s arm to keep him steady. “This time, I know exactly where we have to go,” she said quickly. “Please, follow me.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>As I was standing in my room in a fresh set of underwear and looking through my closet, I heard a soft knock at the door. “Sam,” Mom called out cheerily, “do you mind if I come in?”</p><p>“Sure- it's not like you haven’t seen me half-naked before,” I replied, grabbing a pair of jeans and frowning as I pulled them on- they were <em>way</em> too loose for me now. Scowling and tossing them to the side, I sighed and grabbed a black t-shirt dress- at least I knew that would fit. “Never thought I’d be on a medieval workout plan,” I groused, pulling the dress over my head. “I should leak it on the internet- it’ll be all the rage in a few weeks.” </p><p>Mom laughed, settling down on the bed behind me. “Glad to see that out of all the things you’ve experienced on your journey, the benefits of your new fitness regime was the takeaway.” Looking up at me with a proud smile, she patted the bed next to me. “I’m so happy to see you,” she said quietly. “It’s been a while, kid.” </p><p>“I missed you too,” I replied, settling down next to her and leaning on her shoulder, taking a minute to close my eyes and breathe. Like always, Mom smelled like apples, cinnamon, and the sea, and I wiped a tear away from my eyes. “I’ve missed being here.” </p><p>Mom didn’t say a word- instead, she just wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer. Relishing in the security of being held in her arms, I let out a deep sigh, savoring the feeling of being with my mother. As I sat there, I took comfort in the fact that right now I wasn't Sam, the freaky savior from another world- instead, I was just Samantha, the little girl who looked up to her parents, who liked to draw and read, who wanted to be like her mom and explore the world one day.  After a moment, I finally looked up and saw my mom look at me with tears in her eyes, which surprised me- I hadn’t seen her cry since I was a little kid. I started to ask about it, but she just took a deep breath and patted my leg, surreptitiously wiping her eyes as she stood up. “All right, enough of that,” she said quickly, a hint of her British accent peeking through. “It’s nice outside- feel like meeting me on the patio for a cup of tea?"</p><p>I nodded, watching as she left the room. Mom had told us once long ago that she was initially from London, but she’d never mentioned more than that. For the most part, you’d never know she was British, but there were moments that hints of her accent would creep out, usually when she was upset or tired. Over the years, Grace and I had tried desperately to get her to tell us about it, but she would always steadfastly refuse, changing the subject so quickly that we’d often forgotten we’d asked a question. Once I tried to ask Dad about it, but he just got a sad look on his face and told me it was kind of a sore subject for her.<em> She’ll tell you when you’re older,</em> he’d said, ruffling my hair and leading me off to do something much more exciting than prying into family secrets.</p><p>As I got up from the bed, I wondered if this counted as being older. I certainly felt like I’d lived way beyond my years, and I certainly wasn’t the same person I was the last time I was in this house. <em>I was so naive back then</em>, I thought, running my hands across the pictures on the glass, smiling at the image of Grace and I sticking out the frame of my mirror. <em>This was a lifetime ago… back when I thought I had everything figured out. </em></p><p>My eyes settled in on a white dress hanging in my closet, and I let out a gasp, putting my hand to my mouth. <em>My wedding dress,</em> I thought, running my fingers over the fabric. <em>One of the best days of my life,</em> I thought, relishing in the memory of seeing my husband standing at the front of the room, eager to spend the rest of his life with me. <em>Always gambling,</em> I thought with a smile, closing the closet door and sliding into a pair of my old Vans. <em>Even back then you knew how to plan, Metal Man. </em></p><p>Walking down the stairs and looking at the door to the room that used to be Grace’s, I traced a hand over the paneling, trying not to cry. <em>You used to be the only friend I had, GraceFace</em>, I thought wistfully. <em>You always were a bonafide badass, and now look at us- you’re a mom and I’m an aunt.</em> I shook my head, thinking about all the nights we’d spent together on the shared roof, dreaming of lives outside of Jersey, filled with adventure and excitement. <em>We sure found that in spades, didn’t we? Not to mention we found another sister… how awesome is that? Can’t say us Roberts girls do anything halfway, right?</em></p><p>Walking down the stairs, I marveled at the quiet in the house. <em>Never realized how silent it was here,</em> I thought to myself as I headed to the kitchen. <em>It’s so different from Skyhold… there’s always something going on over there.</em> I smiled, thinking about Bull and the Chargers constantly causing a ruckus in the Herald’s Rest, or Sera leaping from the rafters to steal someone’s food. As I passed the bookshelf in the hallway, I thought of Dorian, preening in his little corner and pulling out some obscure volume and trying to trick me into translating it, or Varric sneaking in pages of his manuscript into Cass’s room so she could pretend not to read it. <em>They'd love to get their hands on these books,</em> I said to myself, tracing my fingers across the spines of the books. <em>I wish I could translate some of these into Common for them… I’d kill to see what Varric would think of Shakespeare.</em></p><p>I expected to see Dad in the kitchen, but all I saw was a plate of sandwiches on the kitchen table. Practically drooling, I grabbed one half and popped it in my mouth. <em>I have missed BLT’s so much,</em> I groaned. <em>Ali and Lana would kill to get their hands on one of these, but Leli might kill me- she’d think we were eating one of her nugs.</em> Chuckling to myself, I grabbed the tray and headed out on the deck. <em>Guess that’s my fault for always threatening to eat that bunny pig of hers, though.</em>  Laughing to myself, I opened the sliding glass doors to the patio, feeling my breath tighten in my chest as I watched my mom and dad sitting side by side, laughing and smiling about something I couldn’t hear. </p><p>Seeing the two of them together reminded me of my husband and I, playing chess in Kinloch Hold that day. He’d gotten irritated when he realized I was reading his decisions to cheat, then gave me that smirk I loved so much as he proceeded to let his mind go blank, never thinking about his next move when I was playing. When I realized that he was outthinking me at my own game, I’d gotten pissed off, but he’d simply smiled and chided me about cheating being a sign of a lesser mind, pretending not to notice when I stuck out my tongue at him. He’d never played me again in chess, but I loved to watch him anytime he had a game with someone else. He had a focus and a drive that made me adore him- just thinking about him made me let out an involuntary sob, struggling not to drop the tray of food as I made my way over to my parents.</p><p>Shaking, I put the sandwiches down and wiped my eyes, trying not to let them see me cry. Before I could even reach my seat, my dad had jumped up and pulled me into his arms, causing the tears to escape me in a flood.”It’s ok,” he whispered, not letting me go as I buried my face in his chest. “No matter what, I gotcha.” Without looking up I felt him shift, no doubt turning to look at Mom. “Is it time, Nia?”</p><p>In response, Mom let out a deep sigh and I lifted my head, seeing her green eyes staring back at me with a level of exhaustion I’d never seen before. “Yeah… I suppose it’s time.” She gestured to the seat in front of her, looking at Dad wistfully as he held my hand. “Sit down, Sam,” she said quietly, folding her hands in front of her. “I need to tell you something I should have told you long ago.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Lana followed Morrigan into the woods, the three of them coming to a stop in front of a gigantic stone statue in the middle of a lush clearing. The air was still- there were only the sounds of the wind and the birds in the distance. If she didn’t know any better, she could’ve sworn they’d transported out of Thedas. Looking around at the sights, Lana’s eyes widened as the witch stepped in front of her. “Where are we, Morrigan?”</p><p>“Somewhere that the magic still flows,” she replied quietly, taking in the stillness of the clearing. “The voices say that to get the answers I seek, I need to call out to her… here.” </p><p>“And what if she responds?” Cullen asked as he moved next to Lana, his hand resting just above the sword at his hip. “Won’t you be bound into her service?” </p><p>“Bah!” Morrigan scoffed, giving the commander a dismissive wave as she strode in front of them. “I do not think those tales mean what you suspect, templar.” </p><p>“<em>Ex-</em>templar,” Cullen replied, moving to stand closer to Lana. “And from all the things I’ve seen, I’ve learned it’s wiser to expect the unexpected as far as magic is concerned- if I were you, I’d be wary, Morrigan.”</p><p>“Oh? So the ex-templar is now offering me advice on magic? Bah!” Morrigan turned to him, a sneer on her face. “It is of no consequence. You can leave- stand in the back and guard us in case something tries to ambush us. I’m quite sure that’s something you’re good at, is it not?” </p><p>Lana shook her head, grabbing Cullen’s hand. “I’m afraid not, Morrigan- he stays with us. I believe you, but who’s to say that whatever you’re conjuring bears us no ill-intent? I’d rather have all the resources I can at our side.” She looked at her brother, then turned back to the witch. “I trust him.” She wanted to add <em>more than you</em>, but she thought it best to leave that last line off. </p><p>“Fine,” Morrigan replied irritably, her face pinched as she glared at the commander. “But keep him silent,” she hissed, thrusting a finger in his face. "I will <em>not</em> have his energy disturbing my spell.” </p><p>Lana nodded and stood next to Cullen as the witch moved forward, preparing her magic as she began to recite an incantation. Wide-eyed, Lana watched as the magic began to surround Morrigan, feeling startled when the commander lowered his head to her ear. “Do you trust this,” he whispered, staring at Morrigan as she was encircled in strings of blue light. “I fear she’s meddling in things she doesn’t understand.” </p><p>“Ordinarily I would call you paranoid, dear brother,” Lana murmured as she watched the scene in front of her. “But this time, I’m inclined to agree- something here feels… <em>wrong</em>. Like there’s a piece of the puzzle we’ve not yet placed.” She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, then bit her lip. “Do you think Alex knows what is to happen? Is it possible he and Mom removed Sam for a reason?"</p><p>Cullen didn’t respond- instead, he looked warily at the black smoke rolling in from behind Morrigan, placing a hand on Lana's shoulder and moving her out of the way as the shape of a woman began to coalesce in front of them. “I’d say that’s a very high possibility,” he whispered, then his eyes went wide as saucers. “Lana,” he hissed, pointing at the figure approaching them that made Lana want to jump out of her skin and find a path back to Skyhold, “is that-“</p><p>The woman strode ahead of them, her gaze focused solely on Morrigan. Her white hair was swooped back into what looked like horns, and her coppery armor was melded to her body, moving silently with her as she walked. Her yellow cat-like eyes lit upon them for a moment and she smiled at them, but it wasn’t a warm smile- it was more predatory than anything else, and Lana wished more than anything she had her sister with her. “Flemeth,” Lana croaked, feeling her throat go dry, “what are you doing here?” </p><p>The woman’s smile widened even further, returning her focus to Morrigan. “Because I was called,” she answered loftily. “I must say, I was hoping it would be your sister that had drunk from the well- imagine my surprise to find out my dear Morrigan was the one to invoke my name.” </p><p>“<em>You</em>,” Morrigan stammered, looking back and forth between Lana and Cullen, looking more shocked and despondent than she’d ever seen. “It can’t be! <em>You can’t be!” </em></p><p>“Ah, but I am,” she replied, that menacing smile finally reaching her eyes, making them glint with excitement. “You called... I answered. It’s quite simple, really.”</p><p>“Mythal,” Cullen breathed, staggering back and grabbing Lana so hard she thought she’d have a bruise later. “You’re Mythal.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“Sam,” my mother said slowly, her eyes darting across the table nervously. Without saying a word, my dad grabbed her hand and her shoulders slumped with relief- whatever she was going to say, he knew it already… and he was with her. “So, do you have any idea what I’m about to ask you?” </p><p>Closing my eyes, I held the cup of tea in my hands, feeling the warmth of the cup in my hands and trying to ground myself. “You want me to take your power,” I replied sadly. “Am I right?” I waited for her to respond, but she didn’t say anything. <em>Odd</em>, I thought. Normally, I’d get the runaround, some irritatingly obtuse statement, or something… but never silence. Confused by her lack of a response, I opened my eyes and stared at her, trying to get a read on what she was thinking. When I saw her, I noticed that she was staring at my hand- the one with the emerald ring on it. “Mom,” I said cautiously, “what’s wrong? This isn’t like you.”</p><p>“No,” she agreed. “It isn’t.” She was conspicuously avoiding Dad’s face but undaunted, he held her hand. Confused, I darted my eyes between the two of them, trying to pick up on the nonverbal conversation that was going on in front of me but coming up short. “I suppose I owe you a little family history, Sam.”</p><p>“Mom,” I said carefully, trying to avoid the conversation I was sure I didn’t want to know about- in fact, every cell in my body was screaming at me to get away, that I was about to hear something I couldn’t un-hear. “Trust me, you don’t have to do this,” I said softly. “I don’t think-“</p><p>She sighed, then looked down at her cup, continuing despite my insistence to the contrary. “You do know I’m a spirit of sorts, correct? I assume Cole told you this already?”</p><p>This wasn’t the direction I was expecting the conversation to go into, and I frowned. “Ye-e-s,” I said hesitantly. “I figured it out when he had to choose what to be. But before that, no. Weird, yes. Powerful, yes. But as to what you were,” I replied honestly, “ I had no idea.”</p><p>“Good,” she said shakily, brushing a dark curl out of her face and glancing at my dad. “That makes this bit a little easier, then.” She blew out a deep breath, closing her eyes and folding her hands. “I’ve been living like this a long time, Sam… and I’m tired,” she explained. “I remember every lifetime since I came back, and…” she looked at my dad, tears in her eyes. “I don’t want to come back anymore… it's time- I want to be done, Sam. One way or another, I’m not coming back after this.” </p><p>I was getting a sinking suspicion in the pit of my stomach as she wrapped her hand in my dad's. “I can understand that,” I said slowly. “But what does this have to do with me and your powers?”</p><p>“I can’t leave until I find an heir,” she replied, turning to Dad, who wouldn’t look me in the eye. My eyes widened before narrowing into slits, but mom continued, still not looking at me. “I promised, long ago, that I would never take someone’s choices away from them… like mine had been taken from me.” Mom looked up at me, her green eyes pleading with me to understand. “So I’m asking you to take them, Sam… but I’m not forcing you.”</p><p>Folding my hands in my lap, I looked down- I couldn’t look at her. “So, you’re asking me to leave everyone I know and love… just so you don’t have to keep on living? Holy fuck, Mom- how selfish can you be?”</p><p>“Language,” Dad said, speaking for the first time since this whole conversation had started. “Before you start snapping off at the mouth, how about you listen first?" I growled in response, but he reached for my hand. "Do it for me, Pipsqueak.” </p><p>Snapping my head up to look at him, I almost shot back an angry reply, but something in his expression made the fire in my throat burn away. “Fine,” I said quietly. “Explain to me how this isn’t you tearing me away from everyone I know and love, Mom." I crossed my arms, glaring at her across the table. "I'm listening.”</p><p>“It’s…” she sighed, then looked down to my hand. “Did Alex tell you the story of that ring?” </p><p>“Only that he helped someone pick it out for you,” I responded. “And that they said it was so you always knew you had a home.” </p><p>She nodded. “I got that on my first time back,” she said softly. “And I loved that man with all my heart. But when he left, his world wasn’t my home anymore,” she said pointedly, her eyes not moving from the ring on my finger. “So I left,” she whispered, looking up at the sky. “Alex and I wandered throughout the universe and time… till I was ready to stop.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “I wanted to offer it to Grace, but the universe didn't need another me... it needed you.”</p><p>“So since the first time didn't take, you just decided to roll the dice and try again? Was the second time a charm?” I scoffed, looking at Dad angrily, then turning back to Mom. “Seriously, do you even love him!” I yelled, standing up from the table, face flushed with anger. “Hell, knowing you, I bet Dad was just a means to an end! How-“</p><p>I didn’t get any further- without any warning, her eyes blazed green fire and all the air was knocked out of my lungs, planting me back into my seat, hard. “<em>How dare you,</em>” she hissed, leaning forward and placing her palms on the table, her angry face bearing down on me. “You know absolutely <em>nothing</em> about what I feel, Samantha!” </p><p>“Calm down,” Dad said evenly as he placed a hand on Mom's shoulder, positioning himself between the two of us. “She doesn’t know, Nia… you can’t expect her to understand without telling her.” Then he turned to me, his eyes tired as my mother settled back into her seat, still breathing heavily. “Your mom and I have been through hell together, kid… trust me.”</p><p>"After this?" I scoffed, wishing I could go far, far away from the both of them. "You guys basically just told me I'm the genetic backup plan- trust seems like a pretty big ask at this point."</p><p>"It was never that." Dad looked down, then sighed. “Look, I get that you’re mad, but you gotta know that she warned me about what would happen if we had you, but I couldn’t-“ his voice broke off, and mom took his hand. “I was selfish, kid- I wanted it anyway... I wanted you.” He looked at me with such pride that I instantly felt horrible for my outburst. “She tried to save you, Sam… that’s why she tried to give her powers to Grace, even though we knew it was a long shot.” My eyes widened, but he just nodded. “We hoped it would work- your sister would have been perfect- she had that anger and righteousness we needed, but the universe is ironic like that. Like it or not, you’ve had this hanging over your head since the day you were born. You're my impossible little girl,” he murmured, squeezing my hand and smiling. “And I’m sorry you’ve gotta make this choice, but I wouldn’t change a damn thing about it because I got you out of the deal, kid.”</p><p>I started to reply, but something he said was tickling the back of my brain. “You guys keep saying it's my choice," I said slowly. "So, if it's a choice, what happens if I say no,” I asked, looking back and forth between them. “What if I want to go back and live the rest of my life with my husband?</p><p>“No one ever said you couldn’t do that, Sam,” Mom replied. “Choosing doesn’t mean you leave right now… it just means that when this life is over, you'll start a new one, keeping the memories and experiences from this one with you. But how you choose to come back after that is up to you.” she sighed, twirling a curl around her finger. “When I started, I used to take forms from the dying, borrowing the rest of their lives and talents to move in their world and complete my tasks.” She looked at Dad, who nodded, and she continued, blowing out a deep breath. “Eventually, someone showed me how to get my own body back… but I’m still paying the price for that knowledge.” I looked at her curiously, but she shook her head. “I can’t tell you that yet… just know I’m not asking you to leave your family. Quite the opposite, actually… which, if I’m honest, will probably hurt worse in the long run.”</p><p>“I don’t understand,” I said slowly, watching my parents carefully but their expressions gave nothing away. “How is living the life I want worse?”</p><p>“Because you have to experience life without them,” she answered honestly, glancing at my ring. “And you’re right, I am selfish- I don’t want to do this again without my kids, my husband, my grandchildren. I want to be at peace because I’ve already been lucky enough to live a perfect life twice- I don't hold out hope that I'm going to find it a third time.” </p><p>“So,” I said softly, “I get to go back, but my prize is I get to watch everyone I know leave me? My family, my friends?” I looked at her, tears brimming in my eyes. “Jesus Christ, this is horrible, Mom- how have you done this so long?”</p><p>She looked down sadly, her eyes flitting to the other ring on my hand. “Now you know why I made Alex your godfather,” she said quietly. “We wanted to make sure that if you chose this path, you’d always have someone around that would love you no matter what, and he was happy to accept."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Lana looked over at the witch, who had been silent ever since they’d returned to Skyhold. “Morrigan,” she said tentatively, “are you all right?”</p><p>“As all right as one can be after finding out they’ve unwillingly pledged themselves into their mother’s service,” she said bitterly. “All things considered, I now wish you or Sam had drunk from that blasted well.” </p><p>Cullen, to his credit, didn’t comment- Lana was sure than a <em>‘we told you not to’</em> was brimming on the tip of his tongue, but thankfully he didn’t voice it. Instead, he stared ahead as they entered the gardens, focusing on his hand and twisting his wedding band. “While I am sorry about the circumstances," Lana said sadly, "I must ask- did you get the knowledge we need, Morrigan?”</p><p>The witch sighed. “Yes,” she replied, her tone sounding slightly defeated. “The voices of the well have told me that if we were to meet Corypheus in battle, I will be able to match the power of his dragon… and if we kill the dragon, his ability to leap into other bodies is disrupted.” A tiny smile formed on Morrigan’s lips. “When that happens, he can be slain.” </p><p>Despite her worry over her sister, she felt a sliver of hope at Morrigan’s words. “And you can beat that dragon? Are you sure?”</p><p>“Of that, I am sure.” She turned away as her lip wobbled slightly for a moment, then turned to look at Lana. “However, I’d like to ask you a question, if I may.”</p><p>Lana nodded. “Of course- what’s on your mind?” </p><p>“Did your sister know that this was to happen,” Morrigan asked softly, not looking Lana in the eye. “Did Sam know that my mother was Mythal?”</p><p>She shook her head. “We’ve always known something was off with your mother, but to know she was Mythal? No- if she had, I believe Sam would have said so,” Lana said firmly. “She did know you were after the Well, however. But I assure you, even if she didn't say anything, I would have told you if I knew your mother lay at the root of it- I know how much you hated the idea of being trapped in her clutches. I couldn’t have knowingly let you endure such a fate.”</p><p>Morrigan nodded, staring off into the distance. "As always, I appreciate your candor, Lana."</p><p>It was then that she realized why Alex was so cagey with the circumstances of Morrigan’s deception- he obviously knew that she wouldn’t let her friend suffer being bound by Flemeth. <em>Well done</em>, she thought, twisting a curl around her finger.<em> You often speak of my mother playing games, but it seems you aren’t above them, either. I’d do well to remember that tidbit for the future. </em></p><p>“Sorry I’m late,” a voice said from behind her, making Lana gasp with surprise. “I got off at the wrong cosmic bus stop.” Lana whirled around to see Sam standing behind her, dressed in modern clothing with a satchel slung over her shoulders. “But I got to stop at the store, at least,” she said softly, gesturing to her pack with a half-hearted smile. "So yay?"</p><p>“Sam!” Lana cried, pulling her into her arms. “Maker! I’ve missed you so much- we were worried sick about you!”  She pulled back to look at her sister, who was wearing a weary expression as she stared back at her. “I didn’t know if you were going to stay,” she whispered. “I was terrified.” </p><p>“Nah,” she said, her eyes full of tears as she looked at Cullen. “Team mage for life, remember? Plus, I made you a promise, Lana Banana- we’re seeing this thing through.” She patted her on the shoulder, then walked over to her husband, throwing her arms around him. “And I promised him wherever he was, that’s where I would be,” she whispered, leaning up and kissing Cullen and ignoring Morrigan's vocal irritation. </p><p>“My impossible wife,” Cullen murmured, stroking her chin gently as he stared into her eyes. The gesture was so loving that Lana felt as if she were intruding on a moment between two lovers. “You came back to me,” he murmured, burying his head in her hair. “Thank you… thank you, Sam… for choosing us.”</p><p>“Always,” she whispered. “No matter what happens, I’ll always choose you, Metal Man."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“I haven’t seen you around in a while,” Solas remarked as he sat down on the bench next to me. “If you don’t mind me asking, what are you doing, Samantha?”</p><p>Not at all surprised to see the elf in my dreams anymore, I looked down at the bag of breadcrumbs before staring out at the lake in front of me. “I'm feeding the ducklings- they’re less murderous than the geese, so I always like to reward them for not being assholes. Want to try?”</p><p> “I… am not sure how that would work,” Solas admitted, his expression curious. “How does one feed… ducklings?”</p><p>Reaching for his hand, I went into the bag in my lap and grabbed a handful of breadcrumbs, dropping them into his outstretched palm. “It’s easy- just toss these into the water, and they’ll come to eat. Besides, it’s not like you can fuck it up- it's not like they exist, after all.” </p><p>Curling his fingers around the bread into his hand and wincing at the texture, Solas tossed the bread into the lake, watching with amazement as the flock of baby ducks swam over to gobble up the sudden influx of bread. “Somehow,” he said quietly, brushing off his hands and leaning back against the bench, “I think this is more real than you care to admit.” </p><p>“Clever man,” I said softly, watching a boat drift along on the lake, sending ripples into the water and making one of the ducklings squawk indignantly as its prize started to float away. “What gave it away?” </p><p>“The energy here is different,” Solas replied, folding his hands in his lap. “It seems like we’ve traveled somewhere, have we not?”</p><p>“I have,” I admitted. “But you shouldn’t have been able to.” Brushing a stray hair behind my ear, I turned to look at the elf, his face a mask of calm. “In fact, I think you might owe me a little bit of an explanation, friend.”</p><p>“When you were… unwell,” Solas said gently, “I cast a spell to help your family find you. That little endeavor seems to have left us with a connection- I find it quite interesting to be able to see what you see in this land.” His expression was stoic, giving nothing away. “Can you tell me where are we?”</p><p>“A representation of New Jersey,” I replied, reaching in my bag to toss out more breadcrumbs. “Grace’s hometown, to be more specific.”</p><p>“It’s quite interesting,” he replied, extending his hand to me. Smiling, I offered him the bag, lightly brushing his fingertips when he took some food for a rather curious duckling that had waddled over to us. “Your earlier dreams never had you interacting with people so vividly.” </p><p>“Not people,” I corrected. “Ducklings. They don’t talk back and I don’t have to wonder what they’re going to say- all they do is look cute and eat. It’s a decent arrangement, don’t you think?”</p><p>“I can see the appeal,” he replied, tossing the bread at his feet and chuckling as one intrepid explorer grabbed its prize and strut away. “But I notice you haven’t done something like this since you've awakened- why do so now?”</p><p>Staring at him with sadness, I sighed. “Because everything is about to change,” I said sadly. “So I want to burn something beautiful into my brain to help me hold onto that feeling of peace, even if it is just for a little while.”</p><p>“And is this change such a bad thing?” Solas asked, shifting so he could look at me. “We’ve been working toward defeating Corypheus this entire time- surely that is the outcome you desire, Samantha?”</p><p>“Yes, but…” I gazed out at the lake again, then pointed at the ducks. “See how little and cute the baby ducks are?” He gave me a curious look but nodded, remaining silent until I continued. “Soon, they’re going to grow up- some are going to stay in this pond and some are going to fly away. When they come back… <em>if</em> they come back, they won’t be the same little ducks begging for food- they’ll be older and out for themselves. Some will still be nice, but others will be more like geese,” I said sadly, tossing out more crumbs. "Which sucks."</p><p>“What’s the concern with these geese you speak of?” Solas asked questioningly. “Aren't they just birds? You talk about them as if they’re an enemy.”</p><p>“Geese are assholes,” I said darkly. “They entitled and they only look out for themselves- they’re mean and nasty. They don’t share, they just… take over- everything is theirs, no matter the cost.” I shook my head. “I had a point, I promise… but I think I lost it somewhere- it's a bit difficult to think straight in here.” </p><p>Solas laughed. “It seems like you are afraid of things changing after the battle,” he replied. “But that change needn’t be a bad thing, Samantha- it just means the world will move on the path it should have before Corypheus entered the fray- we’re just setting it right again.”</p><p>“How do you know that path is right?” I asked, feeling a lump in the pit of my stomach. “I hate making decisions and I get a limited view of the future." Brushing a hair out of my face, I looked down at my fingers. "I don't understand how can people make decisions that affect everyone when they can’t see the outcomes.” </p><p>“We just have to trust in ourselves and do what we think is right,” Solas replied, standing up and placing a hand on my shoulder. “However, we should be getting back- it’s almost dawn at home.”</p><p>“I guess.” I stood up and yawned, taking one last look over at the park. “I want us to stay like ducks,” I said firmly, locking eyes with the elf. “We can’t... we <em>won't</em> let out crew turn into geese, right?”</p><p>“I don’t think you need to worry about that, Samantha,” Solas replied with a smile. “I’m sure that In the end, everything will work out just as it should.”</p><p>“I hope you’re right,” I replied, staring out at the baby ducks one last time as Solas and I left the Between. ”I really do."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This whole story is now drafted! I cannot believe it- it was so bittersweet to write the final chapters with Team Mage, but I must say that I'm super excited for DA4 to give these characters some new twists and situations!</p>
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<a name="section0053"><h2>53. Once more unto the breach</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Team Mage heads into the final fight</p>
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<hr/><p>“Did Sam tell you what this was about?” Alistair asked as he and Lana headed toward the War Room. “As a matter of fact, has Sam ever even called a meeting before?”</p><p>Lana shook her head. “She hasn’t… which makes this all the more concerning.” Looking at her husband for a moment, Lana rubbed her hands together and sighed. “Something is wrong, Ali- she’s been sullen and withdrawn ever since she came back from seeing Mom, but she won’t talk to me about it, and I don’t think she’s talked to Cullen, either.” She turned to him, her face expectant. “Maybe you should try- for some reason, whenever things go awry, she always seems to listen to you, Ali.”</p><p>He shrugged- if that was the case, which he doubted, it was only a result of him being the one who’d spent the most time with her. However, he couldn’t refute the statement, and Lana was right- Sam had seemed out of sorts lately. “I’ll invite her to a wine and cheese gathering,” he replied as they strode down the hall. “Maybe the wine will get her talking.”</p><p>“I certainly hope so,” Lana said as they approached the war room. “This can’t go on much longer, Ali.”</p><p>“On that, we agree,” he said as he pushed open the door, feeling his body start to thrum with anxiety as he saw Sam leaning against the windowsill, her arms crossed in front of her. “Hey, Sparrow,” he said pleasantly, walking over and placing an arm around her. “Did you suddenly get a burning desire to swap places with Leli or Josie for the day?”</p><p>The smile that she gave him didn’t reach her eyes as she brushed a dark strand of hair from her face. “Trust me, they can have this job- it’s for the birds.” Not moving away from him, she glanced around at Lana, who had sat down near Josie. Leliana was on the other side of the room, her face giving nothing away. “Cullen, Cass, and Morrigan should be here shortly,” Sam replied. “Once they get here, we can start.” She tugged at the sleeves of the black leather jacket she was wearing, resting her head on his shoulder. “Trust me, this won’t take long.”</p><p><em>Hey, Sparrow,</em> Alistair thought, not trying to alarm any of the others in the room, <em>care to share what’s going on? I must admit, you’re starting to worrying me. </em></p><p><em>It’s everything and nothing,</em> she replied, hugging him a little tighter.<em> This is it, Ali- we’re at the final boss stage now- no turning back, hope we’ve all leveled up properly. </em></p><p><em>Funny, I thought we’ve been at this point for a while now,</em> he teased, glancing over and taking pride in the fact that he’d finally received a genuine smile from her. <em>Anything I can do to help?</em></p><p>Before she could answer, the others entered into the room, and Sam tensed up, glancing toward the doorway. Reluctantly, Alistair removed his arm and walked over to Lana, leaning on the table and watching as Cullen made his way over to Sam. “Thank you all for coming,” Sam said in a stilted manner that was out of character for the bubbly girl. “I’ll make this brief- Corypheus is coming… and soon.” </p><p>No one in the room spoke for a moment- all eyes turned to the woman resting against the windowsill. Lana was the first to find her voice, looking over at her sister. “I take it you’ve seen it,” she said quietly, the mark shooting soft green wisps of light into the air. When Sam nodded, Lana sighed, putting her head in her hands. “How long?”</p><p>“A week, give or take.” Sam sighed, then looked at Morrigan. “You can match the power of the dragon, right? Do you think you’ll be able to get rid of it?”</p><p>“I will assuredly be able to match its power,” the witch preened. “However, I would not be averse to receiving help once I’ve gotten it on the ground.” </p><p>“Ali and I can’t help you until the dragon is out of the picture,” Sam said flatly. “In fact, I want you to stay here, Ali.” He started to protest, but she just shook her head. “Trust me on this one.” </p><p>Alistair thought about it for a moment, then nodded- he could see it wasn’t worth the argument. “Fine,” he said, looking over to Cullen, who nodded “Rutherford can go in my stead.”</p><p>Cullen started to speak, but Sam cut him off. “No,” she said firmly. Though she had caused a collective gasp from the people in the room, Sam pressed on as if they hadn't reacted at all. “He needs to stay here, too.” </p><p>Now Alistair was feeling irritated, and he couldn’t be bothered to fight the edge that crept into his tone. “Pardon me, but the last time I checked, you were <em>not</em> a battle strategist, Sparrow- so, do forgive me if I don’t agree with the decision to send my sister and wife off to fight a battle with a maniac without an adequate team behind them!” </p><p>“Ali,” Sam said, hanging her head and gritting her teeth, “for once, just <em>once</em> in your goddamn life, would you <em>please</em> just shut the fuck up and listen!” Her green eyes flashed fire at him, almost making him step back, but then Sam shook her head, throwing her hands in the air. “You know what… fuck it. Do whatever you want- I don't care anymore,” she muttered. “It’s not like whatever I tell you is gonna make a difference.”</p><p>At that, Alistair had hit his limit with her strange behavior- he shot up from the chair, seething with rage and feeling the veins pop out from his neck.<em>“THAT IS ENOUGH!”</em> Alistair yelled, slamming his hand on the table so hard he sent a cloud of papers flying into the air. “<em>Outside</em>,” he hissed through gritted teeth as he pointed to the door, “<em>now</em>.”</p><p>Sam stared at him with wide eyes, and he knew without a shadow of a doubt she was thinking about disappearing on him- he'd seen that look way too many times when she and Lana would argue. <em>If you leave</em>, he thought angrily, <em>do not ever, and I mean ever, speak to me again,</em> Alistair warned, glaring at her with a ferocity he only reserved for Morrigan. <em>Do not try my patience any more than you already have, Samantha. </em></p><p>Even Cullen was smart enough to keep his mouth shut while the two of them stared at each other- the tension in the room was almost palpable. Finally, the staring contest ended and Sam nodded, causing Ali to let out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. “Please,” he said haltingly, turning to address the others in the room, “continue amongst yourselves- we will return shortly. <em>Samantha</em>,” he said, feeling the name he rarely used jump off his tongue, “with me if you please.” </p><p>The two of them left the war room in silence, slowly making their way to Alistair's quarters.  Once they arrived, Sam found a seat on the couch as he closed the door, crossing his arms as he stared at the sullen woman in front of him. “Out with it,” he spat. “You’ve been a right shit to everyone since you returned from home, Sparrow- are you trying to soften the blow of leaving us by making us hate you?” Sam jerked her head up at him, but Alistair continued, undaunted. “You can lie to your sister, and you can lie to your husband, but you can’t fool me, Sparrow,” he said angrily. "We've been better than that since day one- we don't lie to each other."</p><p>"Nothing's wrong," she said, staring out the window. "I've just got things on my mind right now."</p><p>"Stop that," Alistair snapped, trying to put a leash on his fear and anger. “When you were depressed about Lana and Grace, who was there?” He made his way toward the couch, trying to hold back his fear, rage, and frustration. “Who was there when your husband had his head in his ass and wouldn’t do what was right?” Sitting down next to her, he placed his hands on hers, pleading with her to truly look at him for what felt like the first time in forever. “I'm your brother, Sam- if you’re leaving, then you owe me an explanation, not an argument!” </p><p>“It’s not that,” Sam said glumly, pulling the black coat tightly around her shoulders. “It’s not that at all, Ali.”</p><p>Alistair ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “Stop telling me what it <em>isn’t</em> and tell me what it <em>is</em>!” Taking a deep breath, he put his head in his hands. “I’m scared, Sparrow- this isn’t like you.” He wrapped an arm around her, feeling her relax as she clung to him, soft sobs echoing through the room as tears began to drip on his shirt. “Hey,” Alistair said softly, running his hand over her shoulder and suddenly feeling terrible- whatever was bothering her had to be bad for her to break down like this, “talk to me- what can I do to make this better?”</p><p>“If I tell you this,” Sam said through her tears, moving away and wiping her eyes, “you have to promise not to tell another living soul. I mean it- not Lana, not Cullen, not Dorian.” He stared at her to see if she was joking, but there wasn’t a trace of humor left on her face. “Seriously- no one, and I mean <em>no one</em>, gets to know about this… except for you.”</p><p>“That’s a tall order,” he said carefully, thinking about the implications of her words. “Lana is my wife, Sparrow-it seems that hiding something of this magnitude from her seems very, <em>very</em> bad for my life expectancy.”</p><p>“Yeah, well,” Sam said with a huff, holding her head in her hands, “how do you think it feels for me? You just got Lana to worry about- I’m gonna get barbecued by her and then skewered by my husband when this comes out.” </p><p>“Will it make you stop being an insufferable prat if you can talk to me about it?” Alistair asked, checking Sam with his shoulder. “Because if it will, then I <em>might</em> be willing to take the risk, even if I don’t see the need for all the secrecy.” When she just scowled at him, he rolled his eyes. “<em>Fine</em>- if it’s going to make you feel better, then yes, I promise,” Alistair huffed, taking her hand. “You have my word, Sam."</p><p>“Okay,” she replied, taking a deep breath and staring at her lap. “What if I were to tell you that you could have something you thought you wanted really, <em>really</em> badly, but the cost would be astronomical… would you do it anyway?” </p><p>Alistair smirked. “I should think that Morrigan has already proved that that answer to this question is no, don’t you?”</p><p>"Yeah, that she has,” Sam replied with a shaky grin, relaxing a little bit more. “So, now that we've established that, let’s look at a different hypothetical question- what if I told you that there was a no-win situation coming, and you had the chance to save someone else by taking the hit yourself?”</p><p>“Again, not that hypothetical,” he replied. “Lana has done that- she sacrificed herself to save me.” When Sam just looked at him, Alistair’s eyes went wide with understanding. “Sam,” he breathed, “what did you do? Tell me you didn’t do something <em>stupid</em>,” he hissed. He waited for her answer, but when she didn't respond, Ali groaned. “Did you learn <em>nothing</em> from the mistakes of your sister? When you found out what she did, you were furious with her- how could this possibly be any different? </p><p>“Trust me, it’s a <em>lot</em> different,” she replied wearily. “Mom unlocked my powers," she said sadly. "Even though I didn’t want her to, it turns out that I was the best option. This time, I paid the price so everyone else could be happy- family curse, I suppose.”</p><p>Not sure what she was telling him, Alistair frowned. "I'm not sure I'm following you."</p><p>Sam sat down and fidgeted with the hem of her jacket, sighing as she drew her hands out of the oversized coat. “See this ring?” Sam gestured to the glowing stone, then twisted it off her finger and handed it to him. “It used to be my lifeline- now it’s just jewelry.” He started to say something, but she just shook her head, taking a coin out of her pocket and tossing it in the air. With barely a look, the coin froze, hovering between them. Without looking up, she twirled a finger, making the coin spin in a circle before plucking it out the air and placing it back in her pocket. “No more training wheels,” she said sadly, still not looking at him. “I'm seeing way too much and it's killing me, Ali- right now, I’m not even sure if I’m human anymore."</p><p>“Who cares if you can do a few more magic tricks,” Alistair said firmly. “No matter what happened, you’re still you, Sparrow.” When she started to sob, Alistair didn’t even think about it- he pulled her in for a hug and held her close, trying to make sense of what she had just shown him. “Talk to me,” he pleaded, stroking Sam's hair. “Out with it- that can't be all that's bothering you.”</p><p>“I can’t tell you the rest,” Sam whispered. “Just… just know I did this for everyone,” she said, wiping her eyes. “Trust me- you’ll find out soon enough, Ali."</p><p>When she didn’t elaborate further, he narrowed his eyes. “I know that look, Sparrow,” Alistair warned, watching Sam squirm under his gaze. Shaking his head, he sat next to her and placed a firm hand on her knee. “You're giving me the same look you gave me when I told you I wanted to see Goldanna- there’s more to this than you’re telling me.”</p><p>“I know, but do yourself a favor, Ali- please stop asking questions,” Sam warned. “I’ve told you all I can for now, and you’re not going to do yourself any favors if you continue down this route."</p><p>Part of him knew that letting this go was the best option, but that stubborn part that always got him in trouble tugged at the back of his brain, forcing him to dig a little deeper. “You’ve already seen the battle,” Alistair said firmly, watching as Sam turned away, instantly confirming his suspicions. “You know what’s going to happen, don’t you?”</p><p>“I do,” Sam admitted. "Just… know that Lana and I are safe out there- believe me, there is no way I’m letting anything happen to her out there that doesn't need to.” He started to say something else, but she shook her head, taking back the ring and putting it on her finger. “You can’t tell anyone about this, Ali," she reminded him. "You promised, and I really need you to keep this one.”</p><p>Alistair hung his head- even if she hadn’t given him all the details what she’d done, the warden knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was the mother of all bad ideas. “So I did,” he replied, running his hands through his hair. “So, oh wise sister of mine, what do you propose we tell everyone about what happened in here? I doubt anyone is going to believe we just popped off for a spot of tea.”</p><p>“Let me worry about that,” Sam replied, smiling sadly as she leaned against him. “What’s one more burden for me to bear, right?”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Cullen headed back to their apartment, running his hands through his hair as he tried to gather his thoughts. After Alistair’s outburst, no one had been too keen to stay much longer, seeing as the person with the knowledge had been practically hauled out of the room on their ear. <em>So, I know that we’re going to be attacked within a week, but I don’t know where or how- all I know is my wife specifically asked that neither I nor her brother follow them into battle. Maker preserve me,</em> he mumbled as he opened the door to his quarters, <em>this is not going well at all.</em></p><p>Just as he was settling in his chair to stare at the pile of paperwork on his desk, a knock came at the door. Though he didn’t want to be bothered with anyone, he took a deep breath and focused on keeping his ire in check- no matter what else was going on, he was still Commander of the Inquisition. “Enter,” he said irritably, not looking forward to the interaction. </p><p>“Seems like you’re in a state,” Lana replied, walking in the room and sitting in the chair across from him, folding her hands in her lap. “Seeing as I don’t want to go into my quarters and get my head bitten off by my husband and sister, I figured we could be miserable together- what say you?”</p><p>At that, Cullen cracked a smile, lifting his head to stare at Lana. “I say that sounds like a fine idea, considering the show that just took place today.” </p><p>"Good," Lana replied, glancing around the room. "Maker, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Ali quite so put out before- I do hope Sam is ok."</p><p>"I would think the proper reaction would be to worry for Alistair's safety," Cullen said with a chuckle as he made a note on a requisition form. "Truth be told, I was a bit afraid she might find a way to smite him right then and there."</p><p>“True." Lana shifted in her chair and stared at her hands. "So," she said slowly, looking as if she were considering every word before speaking, “we have a week… I can’t believe this will all be over in a week.” </p><p>“But I’m sure the paperwork will remain,” Cullen replied, making a sweeping gesture at the piles of paper on his desk, causing Lana to let out a giggle. “Is it bad if I admit that I get Sam to tell me what’s important and what I can pitch into the fire?”</p><p>“Only if you don’t tell anyone that I confer with my sister on the inane trials I have to oversee,” Lana said with a small grin of her own. “There's no sense in agonizing over it if she can tell me in two seconds who’s going to be up in arms about some inane decision I have to make.” She scowled, leaning forward on her hands. “Do you know they made me judge Florianne?” Lana’s lips twitched as she pointed conspiratorially at Cullen. “I thought long and hard about making her serve as my own personal jester, believe you me.” </p><p>Before he could stop it, Cullen let out a snort, covering his mouth with his hand. “I find I’m rather sorry you didn’t,” he said teasingly. “I think we could’ve all used the hilarity of that punishment.”</p><p>“Yes, but we’d have to keep her here with us,” Lana said cheekily, grinning wildly at him before folding her hands behind her head. “And to think, you're going to miss out on all these wonderful games when you leave.”</p><p>Cullen raised his eyebrows in shock. “I… wait,<em> what?</em>”</p><p>“Come now,” Lana said with a dismissive wave, “did you truly think Ali wouldn’t tell us that you were thinking of retiring? Did you not think he'd run that sort of thing by Sam to check the consequences?” When Cullen couldn’t do anything except open and close his mouth like a dying fish, Lana just smiled and covered his hands with hers. “<em>That’s</em> why she doesn’t want you going with us, Cullen- she’s trying to keep you safe.”</p><p>“She doesn’t need to do that,” he replied, finally collecting his thoughts enough to form a coherent thought. Studying Lana’s face, he looked at her skeptically. “So you aren’t mad about it?”</p><p>Lana laughed. “Mad? Why would I be mad? You want to spend the rest of your life with my sister,” she said happily, reaching across the desk to steal the package of candy Sam had left there. “Which, in turn, gives her a reason to stay with us once the war is done- it’s to my <em>benefit</em> to agree to this, you daft man!” </p><p>He smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “You don’t have to sound so happy about it, you know.” </p><p>“But I am,” Lana replied cheerily. “Though I do admit, I’ll be happier when I figure out what in the Maker is going on with my sister.” </p><p>“So will I,” Cullen replied, folding his hands together. “So will I.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“So,” Alex remarked as Nia sat in the swing on the patio, staring off into the distance,” you went ahead and did it… even though I asked you not to.” </p><p>“<em>I</em> didn’t do anything,” Nia replied, purposefully not looking at her oldest friend. “I gave her the choice, and she took it.” The woman sighed, absentmindedly twirling a curl around her finger and wondering how long the man's composure was going to last. <em>I give him less than five minutes,</em> she thought as she took a sip of her tea. <em>He’s never been one to keep his opinions to himself. </em></p><p>“Cut the shit- you knew Sam wasn’t gonna let those girls take the fall for her,” Alex said flatly, setting onto the swing next to her. “It wasn’t a fair choice- you played her, kid.” </p><p>“When you’re as old as I am, you stop thinking in sentiment and you start thinking in outcomes,” Nia replied in an emotionless tone, closing her eyes and trying to shut out the judgmental stare she knew Alex was leveling at her. “It’s the best way all around.” </p><p>“Go to hell- you're still as sentimental as they come. Besides, we both know it’s not what she wants,” Alex spluttered. “Don’t you give at least a little bit of a damn about your kids being happy, Nia?" When she didn't answer, he frowned and crossed his arms. "What, do you think he would have wanted to see you like this?” His words sent the hairs on the back of her neck on end, and she gritted her teeth, but to her chagrin, Alex wasn’t done. “For one goddamn second, Nia, use that heart of yours instead of your brain! Do you honestly think Max-“ </p><p>“Don’t you <em>dare</em> say his name,” Nia replied, her voice dripping with ice and venom as she squeezed her glass so tight she felt spiderwebs sprinting across the surface. “That life is done and gone, Alex… I don’t want to think about it again.”</p><p>“I’ve more than earned the right to say that name, and from where I’m standing, it looks like that’s <em>exactly</em> what I should be doing, kid” Alex retorted. “Cause right now, you sound like a <em>Roberts</em>,” the pilot said pointedly. “And I think we can all agree that’s not how you want to be, am I right?”</p><p>“Like it or not, that’s who I am,” Nia replied sadly. It’s who my girls are- no matter what we do, it seems that we're destined to serve, never to live.” She heard a scoff from beside her, and Nia put a hand to her temple, hoping to stop the throbbing in her head. “But since you know so much,” she retorted, glaring at the man next to her as he picked up the pitcher and filled one of the empty glasses on the table, “what would you have me do? How would the great <em>Alex Hawthorne</em> handle this situation?”</p><p>Before he could respond, she tossed her glass across the porch, shattering it against the side of the house. He looked at her reproachfully, and immediately, Nia was grateful that no one else was home- Alex had always been the only person she’d ever truly lost her composure around. “Because <em>I’m</em> fucking <em>tired</em>- I’m tired of seeing everyone I love die in front of me! Max and all our friends are gone, Alex!” Nia looked over at him, desperate to suppress the sob that threatened to rip from her throat. “And I’ll be <em>damned</em> if I stick around to watch everyone I love die!” Frustrated, she pointed at her chest, feeling her face flush with righteous anger. "I never asked for this!”   </p><p>“And she did?” Alex asked quietly, not moving from his seat. When Nia didn’t respond, he shifted closer, his grey-eyed stare offering a reprimand and comfort at the same time. “What, you think I asked for this? Do you think the newbie asked for this? Did Dean ask for this?” He leaned over, finally putting an arm around Nia and letting her rest against his shoulder. “Hate to break it to you, but no matter how fucking powerful you think you are, you’re still just like the rest of us, kid- sometimes, no matter how much you try to scheme and plan, shit is gonna happen and it ain’t gonna be fucking fair. But,” he said firmly, "you deal with it- you don’t shit on someone else just because you don’t like the hand you were dealt.” He raked a hand through his hair and smiled wistfully. “You helped teach me that lesson a long time ago, remember?” </p><p>“But she needs that power, Alex,” Nia replied, trying to dodge his question. "Eventually, it’s going to save them all.”</p><p>Alex just shook his head as they rocked back and forth on the swing, staring up into the twinkling lights of the evening sky. “It don't matter- this is cruel, Nia. You and I both know it- there has to be another way.” </p><p>“I wish there were,” she said wistfully. “I’ve been through every variation, ran through every scenario- no matter what I do, it always comes back to this one being the best option for everyone. Whether we like it or not, it has to be Sam if we want the best outcome.” Nia sighed, staring out at the odd little section of purple flowers they'd planted long ago in the middle of her pink and white flowers. “Do you trust me, Alex?” </p><p>“Of course,” he replied honestly. “Ever since day one.” She raised an eyebrow at the obvious lie, making the pilot chuckle. “Well, maybe not since day one, but pretty damn close to it.” Alex wrapped his arm around her, and Nia sighed, settling into the arms of her best friend in the universe. “You got a plan, kid?” </p><p>“You know me,” Nia said with a shrug, absentmindedly playing with the zipper on Alex's coat. “The long con was always my specialty.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“Guys,” I said softly, knocking on the door to my apartment, “do you mind if we join you for a second?” Though he and Lana looked up at our approach, Cullen didn’t say anything as Ali and I entered the room- he just nodded. Hoping my husband wasn’t too mad, I went over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Look,” I said carefully, “I know I’ve been acting a little weird-“</p><p>Ali gave an exasperated snort as he rolled his eyes, and I sighed. “Ok, it has come to my attention that I have been an insufferable shit lately, and I just wanted to apologize,” I said, glaring at Ali. “Is that better?”</p><p>The warden nodded, grinning at me as he moved to sit next to Lana. “Much better, Sparrow.” </p><p>“<em>Anyway</em>,” I said hotly, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for being such an asshole lately- I just have a lot on my mind.” Lana started to say something, but I held up a hand. “Even though I can't talk about it now, I promise I’ll tell you everything once this fuckery with Birdman is over.” </p><p>“Sam,” Cullen said softly, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me into his lap, “<em>please</em>, talk to us… maybe we can help?” </p><p>I knew what he wasn’t saying, and I sighed, leaning my head on his chest and allowing myself to relax for just a moment. “I can’t- If I tell you, I’ll change things,” I replied sadly, brushing my fingers to his cheek. “All I can do is ask you to trust me.”</p><p>“We do,” Lana replied, then looked over to her husband, threading her hand in his. For a few minutes, no one spoke, but finally, Lana broke the silence, staring at me as I fingered the sleeves of my coat. “Is whatever you’re dealing with the reason you’re wearing Dad’s jacket, Sam?” </p><p>Smiling, I shoved my hand in my pocket as Cullen rubbed my back beneath the coat. “You noticed.”</p><p>“Hard not to,” she replied. “You fumble with it constantly- it’s as if it were a worry stone for you. And seeing as the coat seems to be about three sizes too big for you and you’ve been wearing it since your return, I can only assume it’s Dad's.” </p><p>“When did you get so smart,” I asked, smiling sadly. “Yeah, it’s his… he gave it to me.” Looking up at Cullen, I took a deep breath, hoping this half-truth would appease him. “I’m not going back, guys- I’m staying in Thedas.” My husband’s eyes lit up and I flexed my fingers in his. “As we say in our world, till death do us part… and I’m not looking for that day to come anytime soon."</p><p>Lana gasped in shock, but Ali just stared at me while he held his wife in his arms. <em>You’re not telling them the whole story, Sparrow.</em></p><p><em>I told you, I can’t, I</em> replied, wrapping my arms around Cullen. <em>But this is enough… for now.</em> “I need you to stay,” I told my husband, locking eyes with his. “We’re too close to the finish, Metal Man- if you ever trusted me before,” I said pleadingly, “then please, trust me now.”</p><p>Cullen nodded, and before Lana could ask another question, Ali jumped in to save my bacon. “What can Rutherford and I do to help from here? I feel terrible sending you off with no support, Sparrow.”</p><p>“Nothing,” I said, shaking my head. “Lana and I started this, and we can end this- With Samson out of the picture and the others helping Morrigan with the dragon, we can do this,” I said firmly, looking at my sister. “We're going to save the world.”</p><p>“But we don’t know where or how he’s going to attack,” Cullen replied, shifting in his seat to look at me. “Is there anything else you can tell us? Anything that can help us prepare?”</p><p>I got up from his lap, standing up and running my hands through my hair as I paced the room. “I used to think mom was being an asshole for not telling us what was going to happen… now I see why she didn’t,” I said sadly, looking over at Lana. “Knowing too much of the future changes it, guys.”</p><p>To his credit, Ali didn’t say a word. Instead, my sister rubbed her temples. “Is there anything else you can tell us, Sam?”</p><p>I shook my head. “All I can tell you is that this is the last time we’re going to meet with bird-boy, Lana Banana… and when we do, we finally have the chance to put his ass down... for good. So, while I hate to go all cryptic on you, I refuse to be the one to fuck things up by running my mouth.”</p><p>“Well,” Lana replied with a forced smile, “can you at least warn me when it’s time to save the world- I’d hate to be in the bath and keep everyone waiting.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t worry about that,” I said, letting out a dejected little laugh as I shoved my hands in my pockets, staring out the window, “when the time comes, trust me… everyone in this bitch is gonna know.” </p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p><em>Well,</em> Lana thought as she stared up at the gaping green hole that had erupted in the sky again, <em>You certainly didn't lie, Sam. </em></p><p><em>Nope,</em> Sam replied, smirking as she took Lana’s hand in hers. <em>Ready to end this, Lana Banana? I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to having a vacation- I’m kinda looking forward to being in Thedas when your whole world isn't under siege by something. </em></p><p><em>Our world,</em> Lana replied as they made their way to the Temple of Sacred Ashes, trying to keep her nerves in check. <em>You decided to stay here with us, remember? Who knows,</em> she said with a grin, forcing herself to think of happier things, <em>we might even be able to enjoy ourselves for once when there's no pesky darkspawn or evil magisters running about.</em></p><p><em>Ah, a girl can dream,</em> Sam replied, making Lana let out a snort of laughter as they trudged down the road. <em>Hey, you’re right- it’s gonna be your first time outside without the world being a flaming dumpster fire, isn’t it?</em> Lana nodded, and her sister responded with a sly grin.<em> I say we celebrate, Lana Banana. </em></p><p><em>What shall we do first?</em> Lana asked, swallowing as she began to see the shards of red lyrium jutting from the ground as they approached the temple. <em>Come to think of it, you were never too much of an explorer yourself, dear sister- I think we’re on equal footing. </em></p><p><em>I… want to go swimming,</em> Sam replied, a faraway look in her eyes as she took her hand. For a moment, Lana could see blue water crashing against a white beach, and she could smell salt in the air as the warm breeze from the sea tickled her nose. Surprised, she gave a startled yelp and Sam jumped back, making the strange scene dissolve in front of her eyes. <em>Sorry about that,</em> she said sheepishly. <em>Me and that mark of yours seem to get up to all kinds of shit together, huh?</em></p><p><em>It appears so</em>, Lana thought, staring at her sister curiously. Sam just smiled and looked away, but Lana frowned. <em>The anchor never activated,</em> she thought to herself, staring at Sam as she made her way over to Dorian. <em>And I know she's aware of how it feels when it does, so why would she blame that vision on the mark?</em></p><p>Confused, Lana walked forward, only to be stopped by Morrigan placing a hand on her shoulder. “The dragon approaches- are you ready for this, Lana?” </p><p>She sighed, staring at the temple in front of them and sending up flares of magic to discharge the pain creeping up her arm. “I suppose I should be asking that of you, Morrigan- I know that the situation with your mother was quite a bit to deal with.” </p><p>“I will find a way to handle it,” she said firmly. “I have no intention of being bound to my mother for the rest of my life.” The witch stared up at the temple, and suddenly the shriek of the dragon rolled over the valley, making everyone stop in their tracks. “He’s here,” Morrigan said darkly, channeling an inordinate amount of magic and making the air crackle with electricity. Her form began to ripple and stretch, and Lana felt waves of energy rolling off the witch as Morrigan threw back her head, letting out a scream so blood-curdling that everyone stopped and stared at her, mouths hanging open as the witch disappeared in a swirl of black mist. </p><p>“Get back!” Sam yelled as she ran forward, leaping on Lana's back and knocking her to the ground. Before she could protest the sudden assault, a large black claw appeared next to Lana's face, causing her eyes to grow as wide as saucers. “Holy fuck,” Sam breathed, rolling on her back, “I knew she was gonna do it, but <em>goddamn</em>… that’s actually kind of impressive.” </p><p>Wheezing from the impact, Lana looked over at the huge black dragon standing in front of them, it’s yellow eyes staring down at them with an expression that was certainly a mix of contempt and pride. “Morrigan?” Lana whispered, reaching out for the creature’s leg before Sam smacked her hand, making her jerk it back. “Is that truly you?”</p><p>The creature chuffed, sending a small puff of white smoke out of its nostrils, then turned to Sam. Sam just shook her head, translating for the others. “It’s her- she says you know better than asking such stupid questions, Lana."</p><p>“Yes, that certainly sounds like Morrigan,” Lana agreed, swallowing as she turned to address the creature. “Morrigan… it’s up to you- take that bastard down so we can end this, once and for all.” Shakily, Lana got to her feet, and Morrigan threw back her head, letting out a terrifying roar before snapping out her huge wings and launching herself into the air. The force of her takeoff blew Lana’s hair back, making her cough at the sudden dust cloud that kicked up around them. </p><p>“Showoff,” Sam grumbled, coughing as she got to her feet, dusting herself off and staring into the sky, watching as another dark speck came flying toward Morrigan. “She’s gonna need help,” Sam said quickly. “Bull and Cass are the best dragonslayers you have- they need to go help her."</p><p>Lana nodded, then called out to everyone. “Team! Morrigan is about to engage the dragon- no matter what, that creature needs to be slain- do whatever you can to end it while Sam and I tackle Corypheus! Dorian, Varric… you are with me- everyone else, get rid of that dragon and come find us when it’s done!” She swallowed nervously, feeling the mark spark with frantic intensity as she stared into the faces of her friends. “This is is,” she said firmly. “Today, we end this sonofabitch- we avenge our brothers and sisters at Haven, we avenge the wardens that fell under his thrall, and we avenge our soldiers who were slain in service of our cause.” She turned to the temple, discharging the mark and looking over her shoulder, seeing her sister standing with her arms crossed over her chest and a proud smile on her face. “Today… we win this war.”</p><p>The others nodded and Lana turned away, not wanting anyone to see the uncertainty in her eyes as she marched into the temple,<em> Sam, </em>she thought, not daring to look at her sister,<em> are you with me? </em></p><p><em>Damn right,</em> Sam replied, walking forward and locking arms with Lana and placing a kiss on her cheek. <em>I’m Team Mage for life, remember? No matter what you need or wherever you go, I’ll always be right behind you, Lana Banana. </em></p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p><em>You're gonna go crazy if you keep this up,</em> the voice inside my head said as we raced inside the temple, dodging rocks and debris. <em>She knows something is going on with you… hiding it is only making it worse.</em></p><p><em>Just a little longer</em>, I told myself, hoping to shut out the voices in my head as the screech from overhead. <em>Once we get through this, I’ll tell them what they need to know.</em></p><p><em>Bravo</em>, it teased. <em>Now you sound like your mother- I wonder… do you think that's a step in the right or wrong direction? But... I suppose you do have other things to occupy your mind</em>, the voice purred. <em>Like what they’re going to do when they find out just how much you know, fortune teller.</em></p><p>
  <em>Shut. Up.</em>
</p><p>At that moment, the glaring visage of the magister came into view, sneering at us with rage and disdain as his skeletal form loomed over us. “<em>THIS ENDS HERE!</em>” Corypheus roared, enraged at the sight of our team approaching. “Your efforts are useless- I will have this world and make it bow to my will!”</p><p>Quickly, I grabbed Lana's hand. <em>We need to keep him busy until the dragon goes down,</em> I said, never taking my eyes off the entity in front of us. <em>We can’t kill him until we know he can’t come back, so prep your magic and follow my lead, Lana Banana.</em> “Yeah, I think we’re just gonna have to agree to disagree about that,” I quipped, a half-smile on my lips as Lana jerked my arm, playing her part well. “I mean, we are here to kick your ass, after all, so  if you really wanted to be nice, you could save us the trouble and just die, bird brain.”</p><p>“Insolent wench,” he hissed, his eyes settling on me with pure fury. “You dare try to destroy what I have wrought upon the world? You think you can defeat me with your puny magic, watcher?” </p><p>Taken aback by the title, I blinked- in response, the darkspawn gave me a predatory grin. “Surprised, watcher? You shouldn’t be- I know what the nightmare knew,” he purred, gathering his magic. “I know you are nothing more than a pretender, a <em>mistake</em> in this world… how do you plan to defeat me when you can’t even save yourselves without help? You are nothing more than children,” Corypheus sneered, stalking toward us. “Foolish mortals stumbling around and playing with things you know nothing about!"</p><p>Lana squeezed my fingers and threw her shoulders back, defiance bright in her eyes. “Is that right?” Lana called out, making the magister halt in his tracks. “Funny, I see a dragon of ours taking a bite out of yours in the valley below- that sounds like us foolish mortals might actually know a thing or two.” She turned to me, ignoring the gaping looks on the faces of Dorian and Varric, sending up a bright ball of green fade energy into her palm. “So, what say you, sister? Do you think we’ve got at least a modicum of smarts on our side?”</p><p>I grinned wildly, hoping I looked as feral as I felt. “I think you’re right on target, sis- I think these ‘pretenders’ might just be able to barbecue a magister today.” I shifted my eyes to the ball of green light in her palm. “Wanna give it a shot?” </p><p>Roaring with rage, the magister summoned a swarm of shades, their howls approaching us on all sides.<em> "I will destroy you!”</em> Corypheus screamed as he disappeared into the air, teleporting to parts unknown.</p><p>“I hope you know what you two are doing!” Varric screamed, nocking a bolt and sending it flying into one of the rapidly-approaching shades. “Cause last I checked, antagonizing the giant demon isn’t a sound plan, Hero!"</p><p>“I trust Sam!” Lana called out, grabbing my shoulder and sending up a flare of lighting, gathering our combined power to take on the approaching swarm of demons. Before I could focus my energy, the spell exploded violently, incinerating every shade the magister had summoned and leaving a scorched crater in our wake. Wide-eyed, my sister turned to me, gesturing to the destruction we'd just unleashed. “What in the Maker is going on?” Lana hissed. "That’s never happened before!”</p><p>Shrugging, I tried to offer a smile. “Maybe it’s due to the lyrium in the air… who knows? Anyway, I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” I replied, jogging a few feet ahead of her in the hopes of ending the conversation. “Come on- I think they’ve almost got that dragon down, and I can sense Birdman up ahead.” I glanced up the temple, then turned back to my companions. “Looks like we’ve got some climbing to do- let's end this."</p><p>Lana didn’t say a word- she just gave me a look as we pushed ahead, gesturing for Dorian and Varric to follow. <em>Smooth</em>, the voice replied, sending a chill down the back of my neck. B<em>ut you know that half-truth won’t satisfy her, right? Lana's too smart for that- she knows something’s up.</em></p><p><em>Just a little longer</em>, I thought, gritting my teeth as we pushed forward, hearing the dying screams of a dragon coming from the valley below. <em>Just a little farther… I can do this. </em></p><p><em>Can you?</em> The voice asked. For once, it didn’t sound condescending as I climbed the rocks- there was actual concern there. <em>You need to tell her… she needs to know. </em></p><p>I could feel Corypheus’s energy radiating from the top of the mountain- his rage was palpable, sending pinpricks of white-hot heat down my spine. <em>Lana</em>, I thought quickly, <em>Morrigan isn’t gonna be able to finish the dragon off- Bird Boy is gonna call it over to attack us. </em></p><p><em>Good to know</em>, she said as we raced up the stairs, not looking back at me. <em>Will we be able to nug roast it? </em></p><p><em>If Dorian can throw up a barrier around us, then yes,</em> I replied, surprised at the lack of burn in my lungs as I followed behind her.<em> We’re going to make our stand here… are you ready, Lana Banana? </em></p><p><em>Always</em>, she said, her face twisted with rage and concentration. <em>Let us end this game, once and for all. </em></p><p><em>Still trust me,</em> I asked, reaching out and placing a hand on her shoulder. When Lana didn’t respond, I felt a stabbing pain in the bottom of my heart- she knew I was hiding something. <em>Lana</em>, I pleaded, jumping in front of her, <em>I know you can tell I’m hiding something, but I swear on everything I love that I will tell you anything you want to know when this is done.</em> I looked her in the eyes, checking frantically for her decisions. <em>If you’ve ever trusted me before, Lana, please trust me now. </em></p><p><em>I always trust you, Sam,</em> Lana replied wearily as we reached the top of the stairs.<em> I just wish you trusted me.</em></p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Sam was true to her word- as soon as they approached, the dragons landed in front of them with a thud, knocking Morrigan out of her transformation and sending the witch tumbling behind a rock. “Varric!” Lana shouted, watching as Morrigan lay on the ground while the dragon slowly advanced on them, "help her!"</p><p>Before the dwarf could protest, Sam had stopped time- the sweat was pooling on her brow as she fought the effects of the lyrium, and instantly Lana felt herself go pale. <em>She couldn’t do that before</em>, she thought to herself, struggling to keep her composure as she dug in her bag for a potion. “Get this to Morrigan,” she hissed, shoving the potion into Varric's hands. “Dorian, as soon as Sam restarts time, I need a barrier around us- is that clear?” </p><p>Varric raced over to the mage and Dorian nodded, looking over at the frozen dragon and swallowing. “I can do that… but what about our rather large and fire-breathing friend here? How do we stop him?”</p><p>“They… weakened it,” Sam huffed, her brows knitted in concentration. “Lana and I… can kill it. Just need a bit of cover from Bird Boy,” she wheezed. “But I can’t hold this much longer, guys.”</p><p>Lana nodded, racing over to her sister and looking at Dorian- the mage nodded. “We’re ready,” she said firmly, kneeling next to Sam and placing a hand on her shoulder as she channeled her magic. “Ready for another nug roast, Sam?” </p><p>“Just add mage,” she groaned, releasing her hold on time. “Let’s do this."</p><p>Before anyone could react, Dorian covered them in a barrier and Lana created a bolt of fade-tinted lightning, hurling it at the dragon and sending it straight through the beast’s eye. The sound that erupted from its mouth as it’s brain burned away made Lana want to run away and hide, but she stood her ground, wincing as the unholy sound reverberated through the ruins of the temple. “Corypheus!” Lana screamed, getting to her feet and discharging the anchor, sending up a shower of green sparks in the air, “your dragon is dead! There is nowhere left to run! This ends… <em>now!</em>”</p><p>“Fools!” Corypheus screamed. “I am a God! I will not let you and your foolish endeavors stop me-<em> I will have my reward!</em>” He stared at Lana, a dark sneer rolling across his face. “You’ve taken what’s mine, Pretender… now I shall take what’s yours!” </p><p>The demon channeled his magic and the anchor seized up, sending a jolt of searing pain through Lana’s hand. As she screamed, he threw her against a rock, holding her in place and sending a wave of red energy outward, knocking Dorian out and making her sister crumple to the ground, screaming with pain. “<em>Sam!</em>” Lana yelled out, panic bleeding into her words as she felt like she was being roasted from the inside out. “Sam, please don’t give up- <em>fight it!”</em> </p><p>Lana tried to move and run to Sam, but it was of no use- she was held fast, powerless to move or see anything beyond the pinpricks of darkness dotting her vision. “That’s right,” he growled, sending even more of the painful magic into her arm, “I want you to know what it feels like to see the result of your hubris…you aspired for greatness beyond your comprehension,” Corypheus sneered, edging toward Sam, who was still screaming at the top of her lungs. “Today, you <em>will</em> bow to me, either in grief or acquiescence, pretender- I care not which!”  </p><p>At that, he reached out and shot a hand toward Sam, who was doubled over just in front of her, lifting the girl by her throat and leaning into her face. “Any last words, <em>watcher?</em> Do you have any last quips before you say goodbye to those you love and the world you know?” </p><p>Sam thrashed in his arms, and Lana’s terrified eyes went to the blackened ring on her hand- her sister had no more magic left. <em>“Take me!”</em> Lana screamed, straining against her magical bonds. <em>“Take me instead!”</em></p><p>“No,” Corypheus growled, tightening his grip on Sam and glancing over to Lana with an evil grin that made her blood run cold despite the searing heat in her arm, “I don’t think I will.” He turned back to Sam, his skeletal fingers around her throat as she gasped and shook. “Die, watcher!”</p><p>Suddenly, Sam went stiff, snapping her head up to look at Corypheus as her skin thrummed with a snapping purple haze, her green eyes murderous as she stared at the darkspawn. “You first, asshole,” she gasped, clamping her hand on his desiccated arm and sending up a blinding explosion of purple light.</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>The world around us was completely still- to my right, I could see Lana’s face, her eyes open wide in horror. Varric and Morrigan were by a rock, Morrigan half-sitting and Varric reaching toward me, frozen in time. The beam of energy holding Lana was still visible, looking like a stream of red gel streaking through the air. I smiled, peeling his hand from my throat and floating to the ground before walking over to the beam and pushing it away. “You’re not a god,” I said lightly. “You want to be one, certainly. But you’re not.”</p><p>“This isn’t possible!” Corypheus roared, twitching violently in place- he was frozen to the ground, his feet firmly rooted in the earth. “<em>I</em> am the one with the power of the old gods! You are a pretender, a mistake-“</p><p>"Shut up." With a flick of my wrist, the air in his lungs vanished- his bony hands clawed desperately at his throat as he gasped for air. “I’ve heard this song before- It’s time you learned something new,” I said softly as I walked toward him, taking note of his shocked expression. I could feel the bruises starting to form on my throat, but I didn’t care- they didn’t matter anymore. “It’s ironic,” I said softly, resting my fingers on his arm, pushing down my disgust at the feel of the rotten flesh beneath my fingers. “You went looking for power this whole time, trying to become greater than what you were- funny how people never quite seem to realize what they’re asking for.”  </p><p>His body writhed with pain as I sent vision after vision into his brain, allowing him to quickly relive every single death he’d caused since he’d murdered the Divine, choking on the barest minimum of air the entire time. He tried to scream but I never gave him enough air, completely content to leave the magister in wordless agony. “I’m sorry I don’t have the others,” I said, taking my hand away and standing back. “Those were from before the anchor bonded with Lana, so I can’t read those- the ones I’ve seen will just have to do… for now."</p><p>He gurgled at me, and I cocked a finger at him, allowing him to speak. “You are no mage,” he rasped, clutching at his throat. “What are you!” </p><p>“It's like you said- I'm a watcher," I said with a sad smile, standing back and looking over the magister, feeling the terror rolling off him in waves. "I see the decisions, but I also see the choices and the paths. At first, I thought I was going to get my mom’s power, but it turns out I didn’t… I found my own,” I murmured, placing a hand on his wrist and sending him the memory of him choking me to death on the battlefield, watching stoically as he struggled for breath, his eyes rolling back in his head. “You see, I’m an artist,” I muttered, holding him down with enough force to break his arm. “And my power is letting people see what I see… which is <em>everything</em>.”</p><p>Stepping away, I let the vision play out in real-time, watching as he finally was able to breathe again, staring at me with horror while he gulped for air. “You’re lucky that me killing you isn’t the best choice,” I said calmly, feeling more at peace than I ever had. “In fact, I find it fitting that the best choice for everyone involves you dying by getting exactly what you want.” I smiled, walking over and placing my hand on his one more time, sending the memory of me choking back through him once more. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to make it easy.” </p><p>Before he could blink, I shifted the moments back to the present, placing myself at Lana’s side as the darkspawn writhed and clawed at his throat again. When she saw me alive and sitting next to her, she clapped her hand to her mouth, but I quickly grabbed her arm. “I’ll tell you everything later,” I rasped. “But right now, I need you to end this, Lana Banana.”</p><p>Lana nodded, her green eyes flashing with rage as the mark sparked and crackled with sickly green energy. I rolled to the side and she raised her arm, watching with surprise as the orb flew into her hand, reacting with the mark and sending a beam of green light into the sky. Wheezing, I lay on my back, watching with pride as she closed the rift in the sky once and for all, collapsing on itself in an explosion of green light.</p><p>Once the magic from the orb was spent, it rolled harmlessly out of her hand, landing on the ground with a loud metallic thud. My sister started to bend over, but I reached out for her leg. “Lana!” I screamed, pointing at Corypheus, who was slowly coming out of the memory. “He’s still here!”</p><p>Turning toward him as he began to chant, Lana narrowed her eyes. “What do you think I should do, Sam?” </p><p>When I opened my mouth to speak, a chunk of the temple fell- quickly I drew upon the dregs of my energy to slow time, allowing myself to roll out of the way and stumble to her side. After looking around and taking a breath, I smiled and turned to the magister, relishing the look of terror on his face as I placed a hand on her shoulder. “He wanted to go into the Fade," I croaked. "I say we let him.” </p><p>“Then it would be my pleasure.” Her eyes narrowed and a wide smile spread across her lips as she stomped forward, thrusting the mark at the darkspawn, flooding him with green energy as a rift began to form deep within his chest, tearing him apart from the inside out. “Enjoy your visit, asshole,” she hissed as the rift collapsed and disappeared, swiftly taking the remnants of the magister with it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ok, in the game, this fight was easy as heck and kind of anti-climactic, if we're being honest (then again, I spent an inordinate amount of time in the Hinterlands- the bears and I were on a first-name basis).  So, I decided to change things up just a little- there's a reason, I promise. </p><p>Also, Morrigan always bugged the heck out of me in this fight- she talked SUCH a good game and I still ended up fighting that blasted dragon. YOU HAD ONE JOB, MORRIGAN- ONE DANG JOB!</p>
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<a name="section0054"><h2>54. We are the champions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Team Mage celebrates their victory</p>
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<hr/><p>As they made their way out of the temple, Solas placed a hand on Lana’s shoulder. “Pardon me,” he said softly, watching as Bull and Blackwall assisted Dorian and Sam down the road, “I hate to ask, but-“</p><p>“The orb,” Lana said, understanding crossing her face as she limped along- her back hurt something fierce from being tossed against that rock. “I’m so sorry,” she told the elf, watching his face fall with sadness. “After it joined with the mark to seal the rift, it just… fell silent.” </p><p>Solas sighed, looking up at the temple. “I understand,” he said quietly, glancing down at Sam. “It’s a shame that such a piece of Elven history was so senselessly destroyed,” he said, shaking his head. “I would have liked to have studied it.”</p><p>She started to say something, but she felt an icy grip on her wrist- rubbing at the burn, she stopped, sighing. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry,” she said honestly. “I know you wanted to protect that part of your history, Solas.” </p><p>“What’s done is done,” he said sadly, giving Lana a wan smile as he gripped her hand in his,  sending a wave of healing magic over her. “No matter the outcome, I still appreciate your efforts, Inquisitor.”</p><p>Lana let out a sigh of relief as the tension in her back dissipated, then frowned at the elf as they continued, pondering the meaning of his words. “Solas,” she said carefully, “why do I get the feeling that you’re telling me goodbye?”</p><p>He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Astute as always, Solana,” he said serenely. “While I am prouder than you know for your efforts, I’m afraid I must set off on my own endeavors- there are many other things I must explore and I can’t tie you down with them, no matter how much I enjoy your company.”</p><p>“Would it be selfish of me to say I’d like you to stay,” Lana asked quietly, glancing at the others walking ahead of them. “There’s so much more I can learn from you, so many more things we could discuss…” she raised her hands and let them fall to her sides, unable to fully express her sadness and exasperation. “And what about Sam?” She gestured to the passed-out girl draped in Blackwall’s arms. “She’s going to be a right shit to everyone when she finds out you’ve left without saying goodbye, Solas!” </p><p>Solas chuckled, his greyish-blue eyes sparkling in the moonlight. “I suspect that I’ll find her in her dreams- when I do, I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to give me a piece of her mind.”</p><p>Fighting a lump in her throat, Lana stared at the man who’d saved her life and fought at her side. “Will I see you again?”</p><p>“I don’t pretend to know what the future holds, but I do know this,” Solas said, locking eyes with Lana and giving her a sad yet resigned smile. “If I were to live for a thousand years, I don’t think I could ever forget you, Solana Amell Roberts Theirin.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>When he got the message from his wife, Cullen raced through the halls and burst into Alistair’s quarters, almost causing the warden to run him through with his sword. “Alistair,” he said, face red with excitement and exertion, “Sam just contacted me,” he said giddily. “Look at the sky!”</p><p>Grumbling at being rudely awakened, Alistair went to the window, staring at the heavens for a moment before turning back to Cullen, his eyes wide with shock. “They did it,” he breathed, gripping the railing so tight his knuckles went white. “They defeated him.” </p><p>“And they’re both on their way back,” Cullen said, trying to keep his voice steady. “Our wives are returning home as we speak.”</p><p>Alistair dropped to his knees, hands still clutching the stone as if he were in prayer. “It’s over,” he said softly. “We won… I can scarcely believe it- this doesn’t seem real, Cullen.” The warden turned his head to him, his eyes glassy with sleep and shock. “Is it true? Will we finally be able to live the lives we want?”</p><p>Cullen walked over to him, helping Alistair to his feet. “Come,” he said, his voice rich with pride. “We have to tell our advisors- they need to know what happened out there, and I would rather have you with me.”</p><p>Alistair nodded, then looked down and gave Cullen a grin. “Happy to shout it from the ramparts with you, Rutherford, but do you mind giving me a moment to find my breeches? I think Leli and Josie might approve of me adding a few items of clothing before celebrating.”</p><p>Cullen looked down at Alistair and chuckled, grateful that he hadn’t been to bed yet and was still fully dressed. “Oh come now, Alistair,” he teased, "one supposes that you delivering messages in various states of undress should be old hat for you by now- are you suddenly finding yourself shy?”</p><p>“If I weren’t in such a good mood I would punch you,” Alistair growled, running over to the chest and pulling on a pair of breeches. “For the love of the Maker, if I had known that <em>one</em> damnable day in the mess was going to haunt me for the rest of my bloody life…”  </p><p>“You know, I’m rather glad you didn’t,” Cullen replied, leaning against the wall as Alistair threw on a shirt and stumbled around the room searching for a pair of boots. “I find it’s brought my life way too much joy.”</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>I woke up on the back of a horse with Bull, feeling extremely disoriented as we clipped down the road. “You know,” I croaked, trying to talk around my damaged vocal cords, “this kind of wake-up call is usually only reserved for random hookups- you got something you want to tell me?”</p><p>“Shut up, Squirt,” Bull rumbled, ruffling my hair. “Freakshow did a number on your throat back there- stay quiet for a minute and rest up. Trust me,” he said with a laugh, “You’re gonna be talking for ages when we get back to the fortress.”</p><p>Letting out a soft snort, I leaned against his chest and tried to fall asleep, only to feel the telltale tingle of someone reaching out in my mind. <em>Ah, you’re awake</em>, Lana said hurriedly, relief coming through in her thoughts. <em>I was worried about you</em>.</p><p><em>I’ve got a hard head,</em> I replied, snuggling against Bull's warm chest. <em>It’d take a lot more than that to take me out- you know that.</em> She chuckled from beside me and I smiled. <em>We did it,</em> I told her. <em>We won- the weirdo and the mage just saved the world… again. I think we need to start charging… or make business cards- we’re getting pretty good at this, you know.</em></p><p><em>Funny,</em> she said carefully,<em> it seems like you’ve picked up some new skills since the last time we were in a battle together… do you trust me enough to talk about what’s going on, Sam? </em></p><p><em>Ouch</em>, I said, wincing at the emotional punch my sister just leveled at me. <em>Look</em>, I replied wearily, <em>it’s not that I didn’t trust you, Lana Banana- the paths were super clear about what needed to happen, and I couldn’t risk changing anything. That’s why I couldn’t tell you anything.</em></p><p><em>Okay</em>, she replied, pausing for a moment to have a small conversation with Cass. Selfishly, I’d hoped that Lana would forget about me, but of course, there was no such luck- she returned to our conversation with a vengeance. <em>So, now that we‘ve won, I think I need you to tell me the story of your new powers, Sam. </em></p><p><em>Fuck</em>. I raised my head and glanced over at her, but she just trotted her horse alongside Bull’s, shooting me a look that clearly said ’try lying if you want to’. <em>Lana</em>, I said, trying to figure out the best way to say this, <em>When I went home to visit, Mom made me a full-fledged watcher.</em></p><p><em>Ok</em>, Lana said carefully, her expression giving nothing away as we rode along. Everyone was tired, and the only sounds on the road were the soft clips of the horses' hooves along the road. <em>You’re not telling me what that means, Sam.</em></p><p><em>Just…</em> I sighed, leaning against Bull and feeling a meaty arm resting against my back. <em>I don’t need the ring anymore- I’m stronger</em>, I said softly. <em>And I can share the things I’ve seen.</em></p><p><em>Like the incident with the beac</em>h, Lana replied. When I didn’t reply, Lana just sighed.<em> What’s the price</em>, she asked softly. <em>You and I both know that powers like that don’t come for free- look at Morrigan. </em></p><p><em>Trust me</em>, I said softly, curling up closer to Bull and feeling myself drifting off to sleep again, <em>you really don’t want to know, Lana Banana. Just… just know you and Grace were worth it,</em> I replied. <em>And I’d do it again in a heartbeat.</em></p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Alistair stood on the ramparts, desperate to get a glimpse of his wife. It felt like his whole body was thrumming with lightning, and he was tapping his foot relentlessly- his armor felt too heavy, the air felt too hot, and the crowds were too dense. “For Maker’s sake,” he grumbled, craning his neck to see over the throngs of people, “where are they?” </p><p>“You do realize my wife is out there too,” Cullen replied, giving him a sly glance. “And for some reason, I’m nowhere near as anxious as you are.” He leaned over, whispering in his ear so no one could overhear their conversation. “What are you going to do when you’re the Commander and Sam’s not with her to send you a report?” </p><p>“For starters, my wife won’t be out fighting a war,” he grumbled, perking up as he saw what he thought was the lights of torches in the distance. “But hold that depressing thought, brother- I think I see them!”</p><p>It took all the self-control he had not to fly off the roof and leap into the courtyard below, but Alistair forced himself to be still, watching as Lana and her party entered the gates of Skyhold. A cheer rose through the crowd, and Alistair found himself beaming at the sight of Lana striding in the gates, her mark blazing green fire as she approached. <em>That’s my wife,</em> he thought proudly, feeling the heat from her gaze as her eyes found his. <em>Ferelden should have been so lucky to have her as its queen</em>, he thought, wincing at his foibles from a time long gone. <em>She is the strongest woman I know. </em></p><p>Then, before he could say a word, he heard two voices, one melodic and one screechy, rising from the bridge- wincing at the sound, Alistair had to bow his head to hide his laughter. <em>“We are the champions, my friends!”</em> Sam and Lana bellowed into Lana’s staff, holding hands and turning to Bull and Cass, who laughed and joined in. <em>"And we’ll keep on fighting… till the end!”</em></p><p>Sera leaped forward and joined in the song, vaulting on Bull’s shoulders with a grace that made Leliana chuckle from behind him. <em>“We are the champions!”</em></p><p>Varric looked over at Dorian, who nodded and leaned his staff to the dwarf, using it in the same way Lana and Sam were and adding their voices to the raucous chorus. <em>“We are the champions!”</em></p><p>In the background, Ali could see Vivienne, Cole, and Blackwall shaking their heads, trying to hide the fact that they were mumbling along. True to form, Sera, Bull, and Lana bounced over to them, draping their arms around the reluctant participants and making them begrudgingly join in on the final refrain of the strange song Grace had chosen for her victory over the dragon all those months ago. <em>“No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions… of the world!”</em></p><p>“Maker preserve me,” Josie said from behind him, struggling to contain her laughter. “I can’t believe they got Madame de Fer to partake in such shenanigans!” </p><p>“I can’t believe her, Sam, and Sera are standing that close without bloodshed,” Alistair replied, crossing his arms and smiling down at Lana and Sam. “But then again, they have just saved the world…again.” He glanced over at Cullen, who was chortling with laughter at the uproar his sister and wife were causing in the courtyard. “At this point, I think it’s safe to say there’s very little they could do that would surprise me.” </p><p>Before he could say another word, the air around his face shifted, and he felt a body being pressed in his arms. Blinking, he nearly fell over when he looked into Lana’s face, her eyes bright and her cheeks flushed with excitement. “What… how…” he stammered, holding her at arm's length and checking her over in amazement. “How are you…”</p><p>Lana inclined her head over to Cullen, who was holding Sam in his arms and kissing her as if there was no one watching. “My sister figured it was worth it to stop time and get us up here to you,” she replied with a grin, placing a hand Ali’s cheek. “And I agreed with her.”</p><p>Realizing that once again Cullen had the right idea all along, Ali smiled as he drew his wife back into his arms. “You know, I couldn’t agree more,” he replied, kissing her for all he was worth and happily ignoring the whistles and catcalls erupting from the joyous crowd below.</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>“And then you simply <em>must</em> come to visit the castle in Denerim,” Anora gushed, placing a hand on Lana’s shoulder. “We have to show you all the improvements that have been made since you were…”</p><p>Smirking at the queen’s discomfort, Lana grabbed a drink from an elven waitress and smoothed the long blue dress Leli had forced her into for the evening. “Oh, you mean since I died? Oh, I’m sure you’ve made plenty of improvements since then, considering it was practically a flaming heap of rubble.”</p><p>Watching Anora’s face falter was almost worth the inane conversation- it was like watching the paint drip off a canvas. Glancing over and swallowing at the fiery glare from Josie, Lana sighed and gave the queen a sickly-sweet smile. “But I digress- thank you for your offer, Anora- we will consider it once we get our affairs in order here.” For the life of her, she couldn’t figure out why or how the queen had gotten there so fast, but between Josie and Leli, she honestly wasn’t that surprised- knowing her advisors, there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that this had been in the works since Sam told them of the impending battle. Thankfully, the queen nodded and scurried off before she could ponder it further, leaving Lana alone with her drink for the moment.</p><p>“Making friends in high places, I see,” Varric said lightly, grabbing a drink of his own and settling in against the wall. “And here I was thinking that Hawke was the only one that could make the nobility piss themselves.”</p><p>“What can I say,” Lana replied with a smirk, clinking her glass to his. “I learned from the best.” She took a sip of her drink and sighed happily. “I wonder what I’m going to do with myself now that I’ve saved the world… again.” She glanced over at the dwarf at her side and sighed. “I don’t suppose I could convince you to stick around and be my new spymaster, could I? Bull is leaving with the Chargers, Blackwall is heading to Weishaupt to be inducted into the wardens, and Cassandra is looking into rebuilding the Seekers- if Cole and Sera leave, I fear we’ll be left with nothing but family at this rate.”</p><p>“I didn’t hear Vivienne in that exit party,” Varric teased. “Is the Iron Lady sticking around to help?” </p><p>Lana shuddered. “No she isn’t, thank the Maker- she’s headed back to Val Royeaux. If you ask Sam, she isn’t leaving soon enough, but we can’t please everyone, can we?” After she waited a moment, Lana raised her eyebrow. “Tricky dwarf- you never answered my question.” </p><p>Varric chuckled, taking a sip from his glass. “Ah… you caught me.” When she stared at him, he sighed. “Afraid not, Hero- I have to get back to Kirkwall… your cousin left quite a mess when he and Blondie took off- guess who’s left holding the bag?”</p><p><em>“Really?”</em> Lana frowned, looking around the room. “I was hoping I could have at least one adult in the room after all this was said and done.”</p><p>“Sparrow is still around,” Varric reminded her, chuckling when Lana playfully rolled her eyes. “And besides, I think I could rustle up a place for you to go if you decided you wanted to get away from all this for a while- I know quite a few people that would be more than happy to meet Sparrow’s sister. You know, once they got over the whole ‘formerly dead’ thing.”</p><p>“That does tend to be a hurdle,” Lana agreed, laughing as they finished their drinks. She stared out across the ballroom, watching as everyone laughed and danced. “We did this,” she said quietly, just low enough for Varric to hear. “I can’t believe we made this possible.”</p><p>“I can,” Varric replied, patting her on the arm. “I’ve been betting on you two since the beginning, Hero.” He looked across the room, then gave Lana a nudge. “Speaking of betting,” he said, gesturing in the direction of Ali, who was leaning on the door near their quarters, “I think you and your husband might want to slip away while you have the chance.” </p><p>“I’d love nothing more,” Lana said wistfully. “Alas, Josie seems to have invited the whole of Thedas to this party and I’m expected to shake hands and play nice all evening. But between you and me, I’m about ten seconds from punching a noble in the throat.”</p><p>“Well, we can’t have that, can we? Even I can’t spin the Hero of Ferelden decking someone at her victory celebration.” He nudged Lana toward her husband, a mischievous look in his eyes as he waved her away. “Go, be with Cheesy- I’ll handle things out here. Consider it my last mission.”</p><p>Lana looked at her friend, then clutched his hand with gratitude and relief. “You have no idea how much this means to me.” She let go and started to head to Ali, but a troubling notion made her pause and turn to the storyteller, biting her lip while she gathered her thoughts. “Varric?”</p><p>He took another glass from a servant, smiling at Lana as he sipped his new drink. “Yeah?”</p><p>“You’re the storyteller,” she said quietly, fidgeting with her dress. “Do you think after all this time, I finally get my happy ending?”</p><p>Varric paused, looking out over the room before walking over to her, placing his hand on hers. “Hero,” he said firmly, "if there is anyone that deserves a happy ending to this story, you better believe it’s you. And if writing it down would guarantee it, then I’d send that story to my publisher today."</p><p class="p1">
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<hr/><p>Fiddling with the scarf around my neck and surreptitiously refilling my drink, I leaned against a pillar, watching as everyone swarmed around Lana. How Josie had managed to put together a party so quickly was beyond me, but I’d learned long ago to never question the ambassador when it came to a party. My sister was a vision of regality and grace in her loose-fitting blue gown, the silken hems brushing the floor as she walked through the ballroom, accepting compliment after compliment on her achievements. I could tell she was getting annoyed, but that was only because I knew her- to everyone else, Lana was picture-perfect. </p><p>“You know, you’ve been playing with that scarf so much I’m starting to wonder if our dear commander had his way with you before this event,” Dorian whispered in my ear, making me jump at his sudden presence. When I hit him in the arm, the Tevene chuckled. “What, you can predict our salvation, but you couldn’t predict that I was going to head over to the woman with the good drinks?”</p><p>Passing him my refilled glass, I gave my friend a smirk. “Heaven forbid we force you to drink what everyone else drinks, you uppity bastard.” </p><p>"I'll start when you do." He rolled his eyes before taking a sip of my rum and coke, letting out a soft trill of happiness. “Woman, this is amazing…” He brought the glass to his face, then let out a soft sigh. “I will so miss these concoctions of yours, dear Sam.”</p><p>My heart rolled over in my chest as I flung my arms around him, making him raise the glass to his mouth to avoid spilling a drop of the drink. “No,” I whispered, clutching him tightly, not caring a bit of what I looked like. “You can’t leave me- if you go, then who am I going to make fun of these prissy ass nobles with? Who’s gonna have wine with me in our special Wine and Cheese club hangout?” I looked up at him, trying not to let my eyes water and ruin the makeup I’d worked so hard on. “You’re one of my best friends, Dorian- I… don’t know if I can do this without you.” </p><p>“Sparrow,” he said gently, stroking my hair, “Thedas is safe, but Minrathous… they need to know. Their ignorance led to an evil like Corypheus being unleashed- if I can show them a better way…” Dorian sighed, resting his head on mine. “I owe it to my country, Sam… they need me. Besides,” he said, tilting my head to look at him, “I hear tell that a certain commander is looking to step down and run away to a dreadful little place in the country with a certain young woman.” He tapped a finger on my nose, making me giggle. “You’ll always be able to find me, Sam- why not put your slightly terrifying yet handsome dead godfather to use and have him escort you and Ali to the Minrathous edition of the wine and cheese club?” </p><p>I chuckled, dabbing my eyes. “Cullen says he’s stepping down, but it's <em>Cullen</em>, Dorian... I don’t know…”</p><p>Dorian scoffed. “Trust me, it’s happening. Ali has been terrified about it- you’d know as much if you hadn’t insisted on being a broody little shit for the last few weeks.” </p><p>“I have been out of it, huh?” He nodded and I stepped back, taking the glass from him and refilling it. When I took a sip Dorian cleared his throat, making me laugh as I handed him back the glass. “Sorry.” </p><p>“Don’t do it again,” he chided gently, wrapping his arm around me. “We have to make the most of the time we have before I set out to whip those dreadful people into shape.” </p><p>“Of course,” I replied, watching as Leliana made her way over to us, a smile creeping across her lips. “So,” I called out to the bard, “how does it feel to be the next Divine, Leli?” </p><p>“You could have given me some warning, Samantha,” she said with a smile. “For once, I was actually surprised- I was certain it was going to be Cassandra.”</p><p>“But if I’d told you, it would’ve spoiled the surprise,” I teased, watching as the spymaster rolled her eyes. “And now I have yet another person leaving me. First Solas, then Dorian, now you…” I let out a huff, crossing my arms. “For fuck’s sake, who’s next?” </p><p>Leliana exchanged a look with Dorian and the Altus looked away, obviously aware of the news no one wanted to tell me. “Well,” she said slowly, “I’m afraid you’ll find most of our colleagues are heading off on their own paths, Sam.” </p><p>It was all I could manage not to start bawling right then and there. I felt like the very walls were crumbling around me- I’d saved the world, but I was losing all my friends in the process. “I… I need some air,” I croaked, pushing past the two of them and racing for the balcony, sending the long purple dress flying out behind me. Struggling to keep my composure as I pushed past the revelers, I made my way to the doors and threw myself against the railing, feeling the cool air hit my flushed face while warm tears streamed down my cheeks, content to cry alone while everyone else celebrated the beginning of a new era for Thedas.</p><p>I don’t know how long I stood there, but soon I felt a light squeeze on my shoulder. “What’s wrong?” Cullen asked, rubbing his hand across my back. “Imagine my surprise to hear the savior of the Inquisition is on the balcony crying her eyes out- I had to leave a pressing conversation with a <em>wonderful</em> Orlesian noble to figure out what’s so upsetting that it made the woman who took down a god cry.”</p><p>I chuckled through my tears, but I didn’t raise my head. “Everything is changing and I don’t know how to deal with it,” I said honestly. “I agreed to stay here forever, but I’m losing everyone- Dorian’s leaving, Leli’s going to be Divine, Solas left us…” I raised my head, wiping my eyes with my hand. “It’s not going to be the same, Cullen.”</p><p>“I certainly hope not,” Cullen replied, pulling me closer. We sat on the balcony for a minute and watched as Ali and Lana snuck off to their quarters, leaving the rest of the revelers to enjoy their evening. “I'm glad for the change, actually- we have the opportunity to have a life together now, Sam… just you and me.” </p><p>“So… it’s true?” I turned to look at my husband, seeing his warm eyes gazing at me with adoration in the moonlight. “You’re stepping down?” </p><p>Cullen nodded. “Effective immediately. I’m transitioning my duties, but yes…I was thinking that it was high time you and I took a trip to South Reach.” He smiled at me, lacing his fingers in mine. “You do have more nieces and nephews to meet, after all.” </p><p>I smiled. “So after twelve years, I finally get to meet the family?” He just rolled his eyes and pulled me closer, and I rested my head against his side. “It doesn’t feel real.”</p><p>“It’s real,” he said, kissing my forehead. “After all this time, we finally have the rest of our lives, love- we can find a little place to live… that <em>isn’t</em> in Redcliffe,” he teased. “We can build a house, and you can have a room that is full of nothing but things from your world- it will be your hideaway.” He leaned against the balcony, pulling me close to him. “You can decorate the house, and one day… if you want, we can-“ </p><p>Closing my eyes, I had to stop him- this line of conversation wasn’t going to end well, and he deserved to know. “I need to tell you something,” I admitted, looking away. “And you might want to reconsider these plans when I tell you.” He turned to look at me and started to say something, but I cut him off. “I can’t have kids.”</p><p>The shame of those words made me release his hand and try to pull away, but my husband just held me tighter. “And if you’ll note," he murmured, moving my hair out of the way to place a kiss on my neck, "I said ‘if you want’- funny how someone so observant is also so obtuse sometimes.” I poked him in the side, and Cullen chuckled. "Sam,” he said in a low voice, lifting my face to his, “all I want is you for the rest of my life- anything else is a gift.”</p><p>“Really?” I didn’t want to look at him right then- I was too scared to see the disappointment in his eyes. But to my amazement, there was only love and concern radiating from his gaze as his fingertips traced my skin. “You don’t mind?”</p><p>He shook his head. “We weren’t supposed to have this,” he breathed as he tilted his lips to mine. “And I’m thankful for every moment we have together. If the price I have to pay for having the woman I love more than anything else at my side is being a wonderfully indulgent uncle for the rest of my days, then I think it’s a fair trade.”</p><p>“I love you,” I whispered, reaching my hands around his neck and marveling at how I had to cross the universe to find the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. “You know you’re stuck with me, Cullen Rutherford… I hope you’re ready.”</p><p>“I think I can handle it,” he replied, leaning down and kissing me underneath the twinkling lights of the evening sky. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And that's the end of Team Mage's journey through DA: Inquisition! We've got one more chapter after this, which goes into how the remnants of Team Mage deals with the things we cover in Trespasser (dun-dun-dun!). So, please stick around- there's still a little fun to be had with these guys... and maybe a guest appearance from some elves, snarky rogues, and sassy mages!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0055"><h2>55. It was always your choice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With Corypheus gone, Team Mage finds out what comes after</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Six months later</em>
</p><p>When Nia and Dean had asked Cullen to come over in the morning to help them set up for Nia's birthday party, he’d hesitantly obliged- though the thought of spending time with his in-laws without the buffer of his wife’s company was nerve-wracking, he’d swallowed his nerves and tackled it head-on, just like any other challenge he'd ever faced. <em>If I’m asking her to spend time with my sisters, then I need to be willing to do the same- Maker knows Mia can be terrifying when she wants to. </em></p><p>So, even though Cullen was positive that he’d rather do anything else, he’d woken up early in the morning, kissed his wife goodbye, and stepped through their front door, swallowing nervously as a sleepy-looking Dean stood in the hallway, two steaming beverage cups in his hand.</p><p>“Sup, Rutherford,” Dean said blearily, handing him one of the cups. “You drink coffee?”</p><p><em>Even if I didn’t, I would right now</em>, Cullen thought, too stunned to do anything but nod. “Yes, sir,” he managed to get out, looking out at the darkened house. “I hope I’m not too early-“</p><p>Dean waved him off. “It’s too early for that ’sir’ crap- Dean is fine. And it’s the perfect time to get started- we got a lot of work to do before everyone arrives, and you-“ he looked Cullen up and down, “look like you could lift a small car. So I’m enlisting your help today. But first, breakfast- can’t do anything without food, right?”</p><p>Cullen paused, raising the cup in the air. “I sort of thought that this was breakfast, si… Dean.” He gave the man a sheepish smile, then rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m often awake much earlier than Sam is, so I’ve gotten used to a sparse morning meal.”</p><p>“Not in this house,” he replied, running his hand over his sandy hair as he headed toward the kitchen. “C’mon- I’ll show you how I do breakfast… just don’t tell your mother-in-law.” Cullen chuckled as he took a seat, watching with interest as Dean reached in the cabinets and got two plates and forks, setting them on the table in front of them before reaching in the fridge and pulling out a round tin and setting it in front of them. “Now this is a breakfast,” he said as he cut into the confection, pulling out a slice and piling it onto the plate before doing the same for himself. “Apple pie and coffee,” Dean said happily, stabbing his fork into his pie and shoving a gigantic forkful into his mouth. “Perfect way to start the day.”</p><p>Cullen just chuckled as he took a tentative bite, unsure if this would be different from the pies his mother used to make when he was a boy. To his surprise, the taste instantly brought back memories of afternoons in Honnleath, where he’d be treated with a slice of such a dish on a special day. “This is delicious,” Cullen replied without thinking, instantly blushing and bowing his head when he realized his mouth was full. Swallowing, he looked up at his father-in-law, who was just staring at him with an amused expression on his face. “It reminds me of the treats my mother used to make when I was a boy.”</p><p>Dean didn’t say anything- instead, he just smiled and looked up at a point behind his head. “Surprised to see you up, Sammy.”</p><p>Cullen whirled around, expecting to see his wife- instead, he found a tall man leaning against the door, his chin-length brown hair flopping in his face. “It shouldn’t be a surprise- you were loud,” the voice replied, chuckling as he entered the kitchen, grabbing one of the cups of coffee on the counter. “So, this is the guy I’ve lost my niece to,” he said good-naturedly as he found a seat across from them, offering Cullen his hand in greeting. “I’m Sam- it’s nice to finally meet you.”</p><p>“Cullen Rutherford,” he replied, shaking his hand and looked over at the two men. Despite facing down armies of corrupted templars, possessed grey wardens, and darkspawn, he’d never felt more terrified than he did sitting at the table with his new family, and he desperately wished he had someone else with him. “It’s a pleasure to meet the man my wife is named after,” he said, hoping he could go back to his pie without feeling like he was one word away from committing some terrible cultural misstep.</p><p>Fortunately, his new uncle cut the tension, sipping his coffee. “You know your wife is gonna murder you about that, right?" Sam said, smirking at Dean. "I distinctly remember Nia making that pie and telling you it was for dessert, not breakfast.”</p><p>“Dessert isn’t a time, it’s a state of mind,” Dean replied, tucking into his pie. Thankful for the debate between brothers, Cullen went back to his meal, feeling a bit more relieved now that the focus wasn’t on him. “Besides, she’s still asleep- I got time.”</p><p>“You forget who you’re married to,” Nia called out, strolling into the kitchen and giving Dean a soft frown before kissing Sam on the top of his head. “I also remember that the concession you agreed to make in exchange for this apple pie would be that you would leave some for the others,” she chided, settling on her husband’s lap and tapping him on the nose as he wrapped his arms around her waist. “So, do you care to explain why I’m catching three of my favorite men with their forks in it before the sun’s fully up?”</p><p>“Two,” Sam replied, pointing at Dean and Cullen as he sipped this coffee. “All I’m guilty of is being in the wrong place at the wrong time- these are your culprits, right here.” He shook his head, a teasing gleam in his hazel eyes. “And to think, you did this on your wife’s birthday." He made a tsking sound, shaking his head. "For shame, Dean... for shame."</p><p>Before he could stop himself, Cullen reached over to Nia and placed a hand on her arm. “Please don’t be mad, it was my fault,” he said quickly. “I didn’t know it was for dessert, and I asked for breakfast, so Dean-“</p><p>Nia just laughed, grabbing her husband’s plate and taking a huge bite of his pie. “Well, if it was in the interest of <em>hospitality</em>, then I guess I can forgive it,” she said, returning the plate to her husband as she stood up from his lap. “I’m going to get things started,” she replied, walking over and kissing Cullen on the forehead. “I expect the three of you can behave yourselves while I’m gone?”</p><p>“I make no promises about the fate of the pie,” Dean replied, grinning up at his wife, "but the house will still be here when you get back.” After she shook her head and left, Dean turned to Cullen with an amused look on his face. “So, we get to add lying to your mother-in-law to list of your fuckups, huh?”</p><p>Cullen turned beet-red, trying to figure out just how he’d managed to screw things up so badly in a matter of minutes. “I… I just didn’t want her to be angry with you when you were being so nice to me,” Cullen stammered, looking to his newfound uncle in the hopes that the new man might be able to shift the tide of this conversation, “I only thought-“</p><p>“Oh calm down,” Dean replied, laughing at Cullen as he finished his pie. “We got a long day ahead of us, kid- might as well eat up. In this house, we don't waste pie.” With that, Dean got up and took his plate to the sink, winking as he headed out to the patio. "Come find me outside when you're done."</p><p>Shaking his head, Cullen looked down miserably at his plate, stabbing the dessert with his fork before letting out a deep sigh. As he contemplated how he was going to survive the rest of the day, Sam leaned over to Cullen, whispering conspiratorially in his ear. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much- it looks like he likes you now.”</p><p>“How can you tell?” Cullen asked, not taking his eyes off his father-in-law as Dean started to drag things around outside. “The man still looks like he positively despises me.”</p><p>“Because,” Sam replied, gesturing to the plate in front of Cullen before going back to his coffee. “He let you have some of his pie.”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>“Is this safe?” Ali asked as he sat on my couch, looking back and forth at the door with trepidation. “The last time we did something like this-“</p><p>“Was with Morrigan, I know,” I replied, fanning myself with a piece of paper. “But it’s hot as balls out here, Ali,” I groused, pointing to him in his armor. “I don’t understand how you aren’t melting right now!”</p><p>“He claims it doesn’t bother him,” Lana said with a shrug. “I, on the other hand, am dying- whoever professed that these were light robes <em>obviously</em> has no sense of the word light.” She blew a sticky curl off her forehead and crossed her arms grumpily. “I say let’s do this- I didn’t come all this way to swelter in your house, dear sister.”</p><p>“Fair enough,” I said with a laugh, gathering my hair back into my favorite ponytail holder and smiling at my sister. Since the defeat of Corypheus, even our families had gone our separate ways- Lana and Ali had stayed at Skyhold, but Cullen and I had moved out to South Reach, taking over a small farm near his sister. I thought I would miss being around Lana, but being able to travel to her whenever I wanted was a nice consolation prize. We'd taken to having smaller meetings of the Team Mage wine &amp; cheese club, but Dorian's presence was sorely missed- no matter how we sliced it, things were different now. <em>Not bad,</em> I thought, fighting a laugh as Ali rolled his eyes, <em>but definitely different.</em></p><p>Married life on our own was easy, but getting used to a new family, however, was not- Mia was nice enough, but having a lot of new people around at once was a recipe for insta-shutdown. The first few times, the only reason I didn't run from the house like my ass was on fire was because Cullen had a death grip on my shoulders. To her credit, Mia noticed my nerves and made it her mission to wear me down- she was not the type to take no for an answer. Eventually, she began doing everything in her power to force me to join in their little reindeer games- we'd recently gotten to a point where I was able to head over to assist with dinner without needing a Xanax beforehand. “I say we get this show started before one of Cullen's sisters bounces over here- I don't have enough drugs for that today.”</p><p>“You like it,” Lana teased, poking me in the stomach and making me squeal. “You’ve always wanted a big family… now you have one.”</p><p>“I prefer you guys,” I replied, grabbing Ali by the hand. “I don’t have to worry about slipping up and showing too much of my crazy around you- last week Mia challenged me to a game of chess and Cullen damn near shit a brick trying to find a way for me to get out of it.”</p><p>“Poor baby,” Ali said, grumbling as he rose to his feet. “The rich little artist and the ex-commander are having too much fun spending their days with their in-laws. I weep for you, sister dear.”</p><p>“Not my fault I’m the only one left that can paint worth a damn,” I teased, hitting Ali in the arm. “And anyway, everyone’s waiting, so bring your ass, <em>Commander</em>- it’s time for us to go.” Smiling, I threw open the door and pushed him through it, then extended a hand to Lana. “Inquisitor,” I said in a nasal voice as I bowed in front of her, “would you please follow me?”</p><p>She daintily took my hand and turned her nose up in the air, trying to stifle a grin. “I’d be delighted to, Lady Rutherford.”</p><p>Lana and I stepped through the doorway, laughing at the sight of Ali scowling at us in the hallway of my parent’s house. “You do realize that you just shoved me into a portal to another world without warning, don’t you?”</p><p>“Bah,” a voice said from down the hall, making Ali’s eyes light up. “I’ve been waiting here for hours for you lot to arrive- if it weren’t for these delightful beverages your father has provided, Sam, I’d have been very put out, you know.” The Altus strode into view, wearing a pair of my old sunglasses and my dad’s swim trunks, staring at the beer in his hand. “I must say, these taste nothing like the ale we used to have in the tavern.”</p><p>“That’s because we knew you were coming- we had to break out the good stuff to compete with Tevinter,” I teased, throwing my arms around him. “I missed you, Dorian.”</p><p>“Yes, I’ve missed you too,” he replied, wrinkling his nose and pulling away. “My word, you smell like a small animal, Sam- please go upstairs and use that wonderful shower of yours before your farm odor rubs off on me.” He gave me a quick shoo, then looked Lana and Ali up and down. “I suspect you two aren’t faring much better now that our lovely Sam has taken up residence in the middle of nowhere- that blasted Rutherford practically bowled me over upon my arrival- I don’t know how your mother managed not to toss him face-first into the bath.”</p><p>“Pompous ass,” Ali replied, hugging the Altus. “Never thought I’d say it, but I missed you.”</p><p>“Don’t spread it around,” Dorian retorted, swatting Ali away. “Your mother-in-law has things in Sam’s room for you- hurry up and get changed. <em>I</em>,” he said proudly, "am going to be outside, lounging on that wonderful little raft while they continue to fuss over the proper way to cook something called-“ he made air quotes with his hands- “a ‘burger’. I certainly hope it’s worth it, Sam- your father and husband have been discussing this matter for what seems like a bloody eternity.”</p><p>With that, the Altus strode off toward the backyard as if he owned the place, leaving us in the hallway. “Well, you heard the man,” I said with a shrug. “Time to hit the showers, guys.”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>As she walked down the stairs with Ali, Lana marveled at the thought of the gorgeous day that stretched out in front of her. <em>If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was dreaming</em>, she mused to herself as she watched her sister resting on the couch, a pair of glasses similar to the ones Dorian was wearing perched on her head. “Took you guys long enough,” Sam said with a grin as she leaned over the couch, her green eyes sparkling with mischief. “Thought you remembered how to use a shower, Lana?”</p><p>“I.. um…” Lana stammered, turning red in the face and trying to hide her mark as it flared up in response to her embarrassment. In fact, their lateness had nothing to do with a lack of knowledge, but everything to do with a certain man who was now fiery red standing beside her- as soon as Sam had convinced Ali that yes, these were acceptable items to wear outside and no, she was not trying to trick him into walking around naked, Lana was more than happy to demonstrate the merits of Earth showers to her husband. His protests soon gave way to moans, and while Lana was not normally in the habit of making a public spectacle of herself, she was also never one to turn down a golden opportunity, either.</p><p>As they now stood downstairs in what Sam had assured them was proper pool party attire, struggling to find a way to explain, her sister just shook her head, laughing as she got up from the couch, reaching over to pinch Lana on the cheek. “And <em>now</em> we’re even,” she teased, sending Lana and image of her teasing her about her tryst with Cullen all those years ago. “You know I don’t forget anything, Lana Banana- this revenge has been a long time coming, and I am <em>so</em> saving this to use against you at just the right time.”</p><p>She started to protest, but the front door swung open with a bang and a small projectile raced toward her, almost knocking her to the ground. “Auntie Lana!” Shaun screamed, hugging her around her waist. “I can’t believe it- you came! And Uncle Ali, you’re here too! Oh man,” the boy cried, rubbing his hands together with joy, "this is gonna be the best birthday party ever!”</p><p>“I dunno about that, kid,” John drawled as he stepped into the living room, handing Jenny to Lana and hugging Ali. “I happen to think your party was pretty high on the list.”</p><p>“But <em>Dad</em>,” Shaun said, gesturing to the backyard and bouncing on his heels, “it’s a pool party! And everyone can go in the water here!” The boy raced over to Ali, throwing his arms around his waist. “Plus, Auntie Lana and Uncle Ali are here- how cool is that?”</p><p>John chuckled, setting down his bag and heading toward the kitchen. “You’re right- that is pretty cool.” He glanced out the doors, then turned back to look at Sam with a confused look on his face as he went into the fridge, pulling out bowls and setting them on the table. “Yo Squeak, ain’t we still missing some folks?”</p><p>Rolling her eyes, Sam nodded. “Yeah, but they should be here any minute.” Lana looked at her with confusion, but Sam just smiled, walking over to the front door. “They’re a little late, but I guess I can’t blame them too much- after all, it’s not like I had an easy time getting Ali here.”</p><p>“In my defense,” Ali retorted, thrusting an angry finger in Sam’s direction, “I have not had the best experiences traveling with you, Sparrow!”</p><p>“Tell me about it,” John said dryly, holding a large bowl of fruit in his hands. “The first time we did it, I thought Sunshine was trying to run off and kidnap the kids- shit like this takes a little getting used to.”</p><p>Lana frowned at her sister, then glanced over at Grace, who shrugged. “Don’t look at me,” she said brightly, “I just come when called- this whole thing was Mom’s idea.” She reached for the doorknob, raising her eyebrow when she saw Cullen playing chess with a grey-haired man with a cane on the patio. “Squeak,” she said cautiously, “Why in the hell are you letting Cullen talk to my dad? Also, let’s backtrack for a minute- why is he here in the first place?”</p><p>“Uh, grandkids, maybe?” Sam turned around, gesturing to Shaun and Jenny. “And he’s hanging with my husband because he came while these two were-“ Sam started to say something else, but her eyes flitted down to Shaun and she stopped. “-busy. So, Mom suggested that the two of them play chess, and that was that- you know your dad can’t resist proving he’s smarter than someone and Cullen never met a chess game he didn’t want to play.” She turned back to the door, throwing it open and letting out a loud squeal at the arrival of their new guests. “You decided to come!”</p><p>“That’s odd,” a familiar voice came from the doorway. “We were under the impression we didn’t have much of a choice in the matter.”</p><p>“You always have a choice,” Sam said brightly, throwing her arms around the rogue and bringing him into the room. “I’ve missed your snarky ass, Hawke!”</p><p>Smiling at her, he ruffled her hair. “Missed you too, Sparrow- looks like you’re back to your gorgeous self, I see.” Then he looked around the room and saw everyone, and his face lit up. “And to top it off, you have my family here with you!” He turned to Lana, who handed Jenny to Ali so she could hug her cousin. “I’m proud to see you’re living up to the Amell family name,” he whispered in her ear. “Good work out there, cousin.”</p><p>“Well, I had a little help,” she replied, pulling back to look at him. He looked wonderful, unlike the last few times she’d seen him- his eyes were bright and his skin looked healthy, giving the man a glow that made her smile. “You look happy,” she said softly. “I’m glad.”</p><p>“I am,” he replied, taking a look around the room. “Confused as all get out right now, but happy nonetheless.” He turned to Sam, his hands on his hips. “Sparrow,” he said in a singsong voice, “care to explain where the-“</p><p>“Hawke!” Shaun yelled, running over and throwing his arms around his cousin. “I can’t believe grandma got you to come!” Then the boy looked at the tall blonde man who was standing in the middle of the room, his eyes practically bulging from his head. “Who’s that, Hawke?"</p><p>“Your grandmother can be quite persuasive,” he replied, lowering himself to Shaun’s height and playfully ruffling his hair. “And that lovely confused man over there is your cousin Anders- no one gave us too much information about this trip, so I suspect he’s in a bit of shock.”</p><p>Shaun frowned, then went over to Anders, extending his hand to the mage. “Hi, I’m Shaun,” the boy said brightly. “Mom always says you should be nice to guests when they come, so would you like me to show you around? We’re happy you could come, cause it’s gonna be a really fun party today. Have you ever been in a pool?”</p><p>Lana had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing as Anders looked down at the serious little boy, obviously unsure how to handle the situation- luckily, Hawke swooped in, taking Shaun’s other hand in his. “We’d love to,” he replied, smiling at the look of relief on Anders’ face. “So, my great little guide, let’s hop to it- what can you tell me about this strange world of yours?”</p><p>Chattering away, the boy happily led them up the stairs, oblivious to the looks of shock on the faces of his companions. As they headed up to the second floor, Grace shook her head. “Leave it to my son to play barbecue ambassador,” she said, shaking her head. Then she turned to Sam, a big smile stretching across her face. “Has Lana Banana been outside yet?”</p><p>Sam just grinned. “Nope. And I think it’s time we went out there- can’t let Cullen and Dorian have all the fun.” She turned to Lana, then walked over and grabbed her hand. “C’mon,” she beamed, “I got a surprise for you.”</p><p>Since confusion was Lana’s default reaction for the day, she decided to settle into it, wordlessly following her sisters as they opened the glass doors in front of her and revealing a beautiful pool of crystal-blue water. Dorian was in the middle of it, drifting along on a colorful floating raft with his eyes closed and soaking up the rays of sunshine. “Maker,” Lana breathed, marveling at the sight in front of her, “it’s absolutely beautiful- I’ve never seen anything like this!”</p><p>“I know I showed you the beach,” Sam whispered, squeezing her fingers as Lana’s eyes tried to count the ripples forming across the surface of the water, “but I figured this was a good place to start.”</p><p>They walked closer to the edge, and Lana felt a twinge of nerves as she looked at the water, unsure as to what she should do. “Um,” she said quietly, “I don’t… I never…”</p><p>It was Grace who spoke up, squeezing her other hand as she gave her a warm smile. “Then we all go together,” she said firmly. “All for one and one for all… right, Squeak?”</p><p>Rolling her eyes at the nickname, Sam nodded. “You got it, GraceFace,” she replied, turning to Lana. “You trust us, right, Lana Banana?”</p><p>Looking back and forth between the two women, Lana felt all her nerves start to ebb away- these were her sisters, her family. <em>No matter what</em>, she thought, <em>they’ll always be here for me</em>. “With my life,” she answered honestly, blowing out a deep breath. “Just tell me what to do.”</p><p>Grace looked at Sam, who nodded. “Okay, Lana Banana,” Grace said calmly. “Just hold our hands, take a deep breath, and don’t let go, ok?” Lana nodded, and her oldest sister smiled, squeezing her fingers reassuringly. No matter what, we gotcha, alright?”</p><p>“Alright,” Lana said, feeling the nerves in her stomach turn into excitement. “I’m ready.”</p><p>“Okay,” Sam said, taking a step back. “On the count of three, we’re gonna jump in, so get ready!”</p><p>“One!”</p><p><em>I can’t believe that this is my life</em>, Lana thought as she watched the two women next to her grinning like mad, following their lead as they took a few steps back. <em>It feels surreal.</em></p><p>“Two!”</p><p>
  <em>I’ve never had a family, and now I have one that far exceeds my wildest dreams- when you fell from the bookshelves that day, I never thought it would lead to something as wonderful as this, Sam.</em>
</p><p>“Three!”</p><p>Without a second thought, Lana took a deep breath and followed her sisters, leaping into the refreshing water. As the waves crashed over her head, Lana felt a moment of panic- <em>I can’t breathe,</em> she thought, fighting every urge to open her mouth and scream. But then she and feeling the strong arms of her sisters pulling her back up to the surface, grateful for the presence of their hands wrapped around hers.</p><p>When she realized she could stand, she giggled as her sisters released her hands so she could brush the wet hair from her face, noticing a very put-out and wet-looking Dorian glaring at her from the other side of the pool. His raft floated by her, no doubt capsized from their explosive entrance into the pool, and Lana felt a swell of laughter bubble up from her throat as she stared at the smiling faces of her sisters standing next to her.</p><p>“Again,” she gasped, working to catch her breath as she walked over to the edge of the pool. “I want to do that again.”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>Cullen shook his head as he poked the fire in the pit in the backyard, watching as the flames got higher and started to dance in the night sky. <em>If you’d told me all those years ago that I’d be content to spend the day in another realm with my wife and family</em>, he thought as he sat on the bench with Sam curled up in his arms, <em>I’d have never believed you.</em> His wife gave a happy little sigh and he laughed, watching as Shaun sat with Anders and Hawke, carefully instructing the men on the proper way to make s'mores. “I remember the first time you gave me one of those,” he said, nuzzling his face in her hair. The dark strands smelled of peaches and cherries, and he inhaled the wonderful fragrance with a smile. “It was a tiny bit of heaven.”</p><p>“Nothing says a campfire like s’mores,” Sam agreed, looking out at her family sitting around the fire. “Kinda nice to be sitting outside without death and destruction at our backs, isn’t it?”</p><p>“I have to agree,” Dorian said, walking over with Ali and John and handing them drinks. "Fasta vass, Sam,” the mage said with a smile as he settled on the bench next to her, “if you had all of this at your disposal, why did you ever agree to throw your lot in with this bunch of ruffians? I daresay I might have been content to never leave my house!”</p><p>“I was looking for Grace,” Sam replied, looking over at the two women. Lana was holding Jenny in her arms while Grace braided her hair by the fire, chatting about something the others couldn’t hear. “And instead, I found the best friends I could’ve ever hoped for.” She craned her neck up to look at Cullen, then smiled as he placed a kiss on her lips. “I’d say it was a good trade… especially since I’ve got all of you here with me right now.”</p><p>“Say what you will, but your mother seems to know how to throw a party,” Ali said, sprawling on his back and patting his stomach. “I’m so full I could burst- I never knew you could make such delectable dishes with meat and cheese,” he chirped happily, folding his arms behind his head and rolling over to stare at them. “If you’re not careful, Rutherford, we just might have to switch places again- I’m sure my father-in-law wouldn’t mind hosting Lana and me while you two handle all the problems of Thedas.”</p><p>Cullen laughed, kicking him with his foot and holding his wife close. From the other side of the yard, he could see Nia and Dean sitting at the table, chatting with Sam and Alex over drinks. <em>Now I understand why they call her Squeak</em>, he mused, rubbing his wife’s shoulders. <em>I can see things getting quite confusing otherwise</em>. Judging by the look on Dean’s face, his father-in-law wasn’t too pleased with the presence of the apparition, but he wasn’t voicing his irritation- no doubt he was trying to keep the peace for the sake of his wife. “I’m afraid I’ll have to decline,” Cullen replied, glancing over at John, who was looking over at his kids and smiling. “I happen to like my life as it is, thank you very much.”</p><p>“Smart man,” John replied, pulling up a chair and settling into it, then propping his skinny legs on Ali’s outstretched form. The warden raised up slightly and gave him a dirty look, but quickly shrugged and settled back into the grass, staring up at the evening sky. “You know, I think this is the best and worst part of evenings like this,” John said as he looked out at everyone in the yard. “It’s always a hoot seeing everyone, but knowing we all gotta go back is a kick in the teeth.”</p><p>“Why don’t you and Grace stay here,” Cullen asked, looking over at his brother curiously. “You obviously seem at home here, and you know how to navigate this world, unlike us- why go back at all?”</p><p>“‘Cause,” he said calmly, shaking his head as he watched his son getting chocolate all over himself as he made another confection. “My other kid is there. Our friends are back there… we got a whole life that ain’t this back home, same as you.” John took a sip of his drink, resting it in the odd hole in the arm of his chair. “Besides, I don’t think this world is ready for the full force of my awesome,” he joked, pointing at himself. “Wouldn’t want to start another war- kinda had enough of those to last a lifetime, believe you me.”</p><p>Dorian leaned against Sam, closing his eyes and draping his legs over the side of the bench. “I find that I don’t want this to end,” the Altus said softly, leaning over as Sam stroked his hair with her fingers. “I’ll vehemently deny it if you ever tell anyone, but I find it rather lonely without you all around.”</p><p>“Bull isn’t enough to keep you company?” Sam teased, causing Dorian’s eyes to fly open and stare at her in shock. “Oh yeah, I know about that,” she said with a grin, poking him in the shoulder. “I seem to have noticed some visions of a certain mercenary captain visiting Tevinter on occasion- feel like sharing anything with the class, Dorian?”</p><p>“You are terrible,” Dorian huffed, turning his head and crossing his arms across his chest. “I’m finding it hard to remember why I put up with you lot.”</p><p>“Because I’m your sister,” she said firmly, placing a hand on his shoulder. “And you love me just as much as I love you.”</p><p>“Don’t forget about me,” Ali said, not moving from his place on the floor. “I seem to remember a certain dashing young warden being instrumental in this friendship of ours.”</p><p>Sam groaned and Cullen leaned back against the bench, staring up at the night sky as he listened to his family bicker playfully back and forth. <em>Today was absolutely perfect</em>, he thought, leaning over to kiss his wife on the head. As he did, he caught his mother-in-law's eye from across the room and smiled. The older woman didn’t say anything, but she took her glass from the table, raising it toward him in a silent toast. <em>To our family</em>, she said in Cullen's head, staring at him with a soft yet knowing smile playing across her lips. <em>May we finally get everything we wanted... and so much more.</em></p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p><em>One year later</em><br/><br/>I was sitting on the park bench beneath a large willow tree, drawing the flock of baby ducks that were playing nearby, hopping around as they dove in the water for food. It was quiet except for the sound of their excited quacks and the gurgle of the water lapping against the shore, making me smile as I added the finishing details to my drawing.</p><p>“That is rather good,” Solas remarked as he sat next to me, looking less like the hobo apostate and more like a warrior, draped in furs and armor. “It’s good to see you again, Samantha,” he said with a smile. "I seem to be unable to find you in your dreams, but yet tonight I was almost drawn to you- can you tell me why that is?”</p><p>Not looking up from my drawing, I smiled sadly. “Because the Dread Wolf finally decided,” I said softly, raising my head to stare into the blue eyes of the elf who I’d once considered a friend and gesturing to the flock of birds at my feet. “I’d hoped you’d be a duck, but it seems you’re a goose, Solas,” I said sadly, placing my sketchpad in my backpack. “I wanted more for you… no, I <em>expected</em> more of you.”</p><p>“You see a lot,” the elf said casually, reaching into the bag at my side and tossing a handful of crumbs to the birds before turning back to look at me. “When did you know?” I gestured to the scene around us and he nodded. “Ah, symmetry,” he replied, glancing at the ducks at his feet. “I’m curious- if you’ve known all this time, then why haven’t you tried to stop me?”</p><p>“Because certain paths are fixed,” I replied, settling on the bench and turning to face him. “You and I both know that no matter how much we hope otherwise, there are just some things that have to happen.”</p><p>“I know my people have been sentenced to ruin and degradation by my own hand,” he replied. “The name you speak was given to me by the false gods, and I formed the veil in order to stop them- my act of freedom destroyed my people.” He scoffed, looking out over at the lake before turning back to me. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry, Samantha- if there were another way, I think I would take it.”</p><p>“There’s always another way,” I said softly. “The previous events were, but this path you’re on now isn’t fixed- this is your choice, Solas. You being here right now proves that.” I reached for him but I could feel him tense up so I drew my hand back, folding it lightly in my lap. “You saw what happened with Corypheus,” I pleaded. “I don’t want you to make the same mistake.”</p><p>“I disagree,” Solas replied politely. “I’ve seen a lot more than you have, dear Samantha… I’ve lived through more than you know, and I think it’s time for peace.”</p><p>“But what price would <em>we</em> pay for that peace,” I pressed, folding my hands even tighter in my lap. “You’ve seen and lived through a lot since then, Solas- you know things aren't the same as they were before.”</p><p>“Corypheus was a fool,” Solas replied, staring at the ducks at his feet. “He should have died unlocking that orb- his survival threw my plans into chaos.”</p><p>“You gave it to him,” I said softly, watching his face for the answers I already knew- unsurprisingly, he didn’t respond, so I continued. “You used him- that much I know. But, I’m confused about why- why not just use the foci yourself?”</p><p>“Because as I lay unconscious for millennia, the orb continued to gain energy- I was not powerful enough to open it upon waking.” He folded his hands, then gave me a curious look. “I planned to have him unlock it and die in the resulting explosion- I did not foresee him discovering the secret to immortality.” He sighed, then stared out over the water. “I had planned to have him unlock the orb, then enter the fade using your sister’s mark. Between his survival and your arrival, it seems I’ve been surprised all around.”</p><p>“All these are choices, Solas- I'm sorry about your past, but can’t you see that this is different?” I looked at him, pleading with him to understand. “You’d condemn this world to fuckshit and ruin to rebuild the world of the elves? I don’t get it- why not just work to fix this one?"</p><p>“And I don’t understand why you care,” Solas replied, his blue eyes searching over me. “This isn’t your world, Samantha- why do you have such a need to see it live? Your existence is beyond the veil- you should not be troubling yourself with matters such as these.”</p><p>“Because my family and friends are here, so I'm here,” I said firmly, locking eyes with the elven god. “You’re my friend, but I can’t let you destroy my home, Solas- If you do this, you know I have to stop you.”</p><p>“And for that honest admission, I bear you no ill-will, Samantha,” Solas replied, rising to his feet. “But for now, we’re going to have to disagree on how to handle this, my friend.”</p><p>“Solas, <em>please</em>… don’t do this,” I whispered, looking down at my hands. “This isn’t what I want. Can’t you please just <em>listen</em> to me- there’s another way, I promise.”</p><p>“You are certainly a strange one,” he remarked, looking at me with curiosity. “You know my plans, and we’re in your world- If I were you, I’d try to strike me down right now.” I stared at my hands, and I felt his magic skimming across my skin, pressing but unable to land. “You know I can’t hurt you, but yet you won’t stop me,” he mused, dampening his magic. “Why is that?”</p><p>“You know why,” I said sadly, looking up at him. “Fixed points- it’s not my choice, Solas… it’s yours. Please,” I said, reaching out for him again, only for him to smile and move away. “We’re your friends,” I pleaded, hoping he’d listen, but knowing that the threads were clear on what had to happen. “Don’t do this.”</p><p>“Well met, Samantha,” he said, his avoidance telling me what I needed to know as he turned away. “It might only be a small comfort, but please know that I take no pleasure in what I must do when we meet again.”</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">  </span> </em>
</p><hr/><p>Nia sat with Alex, watching from the top of the hill as Sam and Solas chatted on the park bench. Glancing over at her friend, Nia sighed, getting to her feet and shaking her head. “Oh dear,” she mused, “I had hoped that would go differently this time.”</p><p>Alex didn’t move from his seat- instead, he just stared at Sam, watching until the girl faded from view, depositing the two of them back on the porch of the waystation. “Well, that confirms it,” the pilot grumbled. “That bastard can move in the Between.” He hung his head as he walked to the pillar, lightly banging his head against it. “Sorry about that, kid- I didn’t mean to fuck this up for them.”</p><p>“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Alex- he's a god,” Nia replied, looking down at her nails. “If it makes you feel any better, a version of this was always going to happen- thanks to you it just came up a little sooner.” Alex groaned, but Nia stood up, resting a hand on his arm. “At least your fuckup had one net positive- I can step in to save Lana from the Anchor now.”</p><p>He raised an eyebrow. “Save her?”</p><p>Nia nodded. “Without the orb and Solas to control the magic, the anchor is going to kill her… again.” She sighed and sat on the porch swing, gesturing for the pilot to join her. “Now that he’s talked to Sam and knows his plan is about to be discovered, we’ve changed a few things- the way I see it, we may as well take advantage.” Her eyes sparkled, glancing up at her old friend as he raised an eyebrow at her. “Now that he’s mucked about in our world, I don’t see the harm in handling a few things on our terms, do you?”</p><p>Alex gave her a look she couldn’t quite read, which was impressive, considering how long they’d known each other. “What are you playing at, Nia?”</p><p>She drummed her fingers against the arm of the swing, staring up at the ceiling as she collected her thoughts. “Sam’s gonna be telling them what she knows as soon as she wakes up, so I’d suggest you get over there and guide them a bit, Alex.”</p><p>“Guide them to what?” Alex asked cautiously, shifting in his seat to look at her. “I don’t think I’m following you, kid.”</p><p>Nia looked at Alex as if he were stupid. “Well they can’t very well continue with the Inquisition, can they? Solas knows <em>exactly</em> what they do and how they work- Lana was too trusting, even with us running interference.” She rested a finger on her lips, trying to scan threads and latch onto the best possible outcome. “The kids are going to be at a disadvantage.” Then a smile crept across her face, and she heard Alex groan. “Unless…”</p><p>“Kid,” he said warningly, placing a hand on her arm. “You’re fucking with things- you saw what happened when I did it. What’s to say this isn’t going to blow up spectacularly with you poking holes in things?”</p><p>She looked away, twirling a dark curl around her finger. “It’s not my job to preserve the paths anymore,” Nia replied, settling back in the chair and folding her hands in her lap. “I’m on my way out, remember? <em>Sam’s</em> the watcher… not me.”</p><p>“Holy shit, Nia,” Alex breathed, his eyes wide with shock. “You… you planned this, didn’t you?”</p><p>The elder watcher gave the ghost a predatory smile and folded her hands. “I warned you that the long con was my specialty.”</p><p>“You really are an evil sonofabitch, kid,” Alex replied, shaking his head. “How long have you been planning this?”</p><p>“Long enough,” Nia answered, glancing over at her best friend. “My daughters are setting out to fight a god, Alex- did you honestly think I would leave them defenseless?” She gave a soft snort, staring out over the farm, her gaze locked at the patch of purple flowers waving in the breeze against the sea of pink and white. "I’ve made certain that both my girls were able to spread out across the universe,” she remarked proudly. “My husband and brother fight gods and demons every day, and Grace and John lead two of the biggest armies in Boston- there’s not too much I do without a reason, Alex.”</p><p>“You sure you want to do this,” Alex asked quietly, his grey eyes full of concern. “Once you start this, you gotta know it ain’t gonna end well for you, kid.”</p><p>Her green eyes hardened and she stared at the sky, unable to look at her best friend. “I’ve been doing favors for centuries,” she hissed, clenching her fists together. “Watching the threads, helping people, guiding their destinies to make sure the universe keeps moving. Now,” she said firmly, “I’m done... I’m refuse to watch things from the sidelines. I never asked for this existence, so if I’m going out, I want it to be my choice. And considering the state of things, I’m pretty sure I can find quite a few people out there that feel the same, Alex- if my daughters need an army, then that's exactly what they're going to get.”</p><p>Alex took her hand in his and turned to look at the sky, the threads swirling in the air like clouds. “Are you <em>absolutely</em> sure about this,” he asked quietly, rubbing her knuckles with his thumb. “There’s no coming back from something like this.”</p><p>“I am.” Nia sighed, looking at the threads floating over their heads. “My girls are the only ones who can stop this mess,” she said softly, thinking about the miasma of choices still looming around them. "I’ll be damned if I don't help them however I can.”</p><p>“Then I’m with you,” Alex replied, rubbing Nia's arm as she rested her head on his shoulder. “No matter what, we do this together, kid.”</p><p>"Good to know," Nia replied, checking the threads one last time and letting out a deep sigh. "Sam gave him a choice," she said with irritation, her green eyes icy and hard as she turned to the pilot. "I do wish he'd taken it... it would have made things <em>so</em> much easier." </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I cannot believe this 3-story, 97 chapter epic is DONE! Thank you for every kudos, every comment, and every hit! This was a labor of love, and I'm so happy to have taken this journey with you! </p><p>When I started this arc, I honestly had no idea that I was going to be blending Supernatural, House, The Outer Worlds, Fallout 4, and the Dragon Age Universe into one epic soap opera adventure. In fact, if you told me that I was going to ever write another story after I finished "Nothing Ever Goes Right the First Time", I would've laughed at you, and if you told me just how massive this would be, I would have tried to have you committed. </p><p>I remember reading such great writers in the DA fandom and thinking, 'Man, I love this world, but I don't know the voices of these characters'. But Grace was such a badass, and the fact that she looked up to Sam so much made me want to explore her little sister's story, and of course, she decided that she was going to stir up shit in Dragon Age: Origins. Then the Mass Effect drabble, " A Moment Between" made me realize that Nia had a backstory- what was her end game? Why is she letting her kids get involved in all this crap? How the hell does she know Baron Plucky? And so her story, the <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/series/1646104"> Waiting at the edge of forever</a> series was born.  </p><p>Every series was designed to be standalone- my hope is that even with all the twists and turns, you guys had a fun time with these characters. I am eagerly awaiting DA4 with bated breath because these folks have more stories to tell. In the meantime, I'm thinking that Grace and Co. have caused enough of a ruckus in Thedas- its time to send these folks to the Commonwealth (rubs hands with glee- those kids won't know what hit them!). </p><p>If you're down for another ride with Team Mage, then subscribe to me for updates or follow me on Tumblr (<a href="https://danypooh80.tumblr.com/">Danypooh80</a>), but if this is where we part until DA4, then I send you off with a virtual hug and a package of Oreos- it's been an amazing trip!</p><p>As always, your feedback is wonderful! Keep those comments and questions coming!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This story is part of the LLF Comment Project, which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:<br/>Feedback</p><p>Short comments<br/>Long comments<br/>Questions<br/>Constructive criticism<br/>“&lt;3” as extra kudos<br/>Reader-reader interaction<br/>LLF Comment Builder</p><p> </p><p>If you don’t want a reply, for any reason (i get it- I’m socially awkward sometimes and get stuck in a niceness portal and can’t figure out how to leave a convo), feel free to sign your comment with “whisper” and I will appreciate it but not respond. Kudos also work too!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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